"Jo , es." The following little story, with its moral, though written for the 'Macon ((WI Telegraph, is quite too goal to be enjoyed by the farmers of the South atone: I knew a man and be lived In Jones— Which Jones is a country of redtelds and atones. And be lived pretty anp by getting oHottna, And his mules were no ng but akin and bones, And his bogs wore as at as his corn-pones, And be had 'bout a thousand acres of land. , This =in-:and his name was also Jot-Lei— ne swore that he'd leave them old red hills and stones. For hesouldretimake nothing bat yellowish cotton, And little Of that, and his feuce was rotten; - And what !Udell° had, that was bougbten, And he couldn't get a living from' the land. And the longer he aworo the madder ho got; ' And ho rose and he walked to the stable lot, And he hallooed to Tom to come there dud hitch, For to emigrate somewhere whore land was rich, And to quit raising cock•burrs, thistres and etch, • And Wasting their time on barren land. t3o him and Tom they hitched up the mules, Pretesting that folks were mighty, big fools Thtt stay in Georgia. ‘ll6lt. IT tithe out, Just scratching a living, when al of them mought tiet places te. Texts, where. tato sprout Lly the lime you could plant it in the land. And he drove by a housNwherS a man named Drown Was living, not far train the edge of the town, And ho bantered brown for to buy his place, And said that seeing as money was shace, And seeing as sheriffs were hard to face, - Two dollars en acre would get tho laud. They closed at a dollar and fifty cents, And Jones be bought him a wagon and Lents, And loaded his corn and his women and truck, And moved to Texas, rvnich it took His entire pile, with the beet of luck, To get there and get him a little land. - But Brown moved out on tlm old Jones farm, And ho rolled up his breeches and bared his arm, And ho picked all the rocks from off'u the ground, And he rooted It up and plowed It down, And solved his corn and AV tient in the land. Five years glided by, and Brown one day, ii'Vh6 bad got so fat that he wouldn't weigh), Vi'aF, sitting down, sorter lazily To e grandest dinner you ever did see, n one of the children jumped on his knee And mayq; 0 on's Jones, which you bought Ms land." And there was Jones, standing out at the fence And he btidn't no Magon, nor mules, nor tents, For ho bad left Texas afoot and come To Georgia to see if he couldn't get some Employment, and he teas looking as burn- Ble as it lie had never owned any land. But Brown he:asked him in, and ho sot Ilim doalti to his victunis smoking hot, , And Wiley he had filled himself and 'Moro Brow looked at him sharp and rose and swore That ' ( }whether . men's land was rich or poor, Ttore waamoro in the man thin there was in tho bind '- '1 SERIOUS kREADING Some yeats ago, says Max A.deler, a new tire company was organized in Reading, and the members one evening thought they, would have a little innocent fun at the ex-' penac of Hopkins, their foreman. They decided ¶to, go atpund with the engine to I Hopkins house after dark, to throw up their latiders,Audi out their hose, climb on his Tool and scare him With the belief that his Hwelling was on lire. But that very day opkins moved out of his house, and a Presbyterian clergyman moved in, without did company being aware of the change. So abottt eight o'clock the humorists dashed out and went through all the movements, getting on the root and splashing water aro nd, and creating a terrific disturbance generally. A rival company noticing what was going on also hurried to the scene, and without understanding the joke, attached their hose to a plug, smashed in the front windows, and began to empty a two rich stream on the family of that. Presbyt rian clergy Man. They squirted into all the rooms, split up the window shutters with an axe, broke down the front door, and ran out the furniture, tore off the shingl,es, and bawled through the trumpets until the hired girl had convulsions on the kitchen stairs. The first company tried to explain, but:the new corners thought an effort was beipg made to get them out of the way, and a tight ensued, and presently' firemen were sliding oil the roof, and pelting down the chimneys, and bleeding over the entry carpet, and having boisterous encounters with spanners and brass horns on the stairs. And the next morning the Presbyterian divine and his family moved out. They said the place seemed to he too animated and sensational for a quiet domestic . circle. They wanted a house where there was more calmness and peace where they could have more security for their privacy and pianos, and for their front door and shingles and their peace of mind and window,sashes. An amusing experience which recently befell a special agent of ,the Post Office De partment, illustrates the ideas which past masters in the far West entertain regarding the importance of their positions. \ The agent, commonly called "Mac," while °file visiting, various offices in Mont Aila Tor ritory, for the purpose of correelingkiny ir regularities of postmasters, stopped at Iron Rod. Going into the post °lnce lie found the room divided into three sections, first n saloon, next a post office, and last a faro bank. The mail-bag was brought in, by a rough-looking customer; opened, and the contents emptied on the floor. The entire crowd at once got down on their hands and knees and commenced overhauling the let ters, among which several were registered, and selected such as they wanted. After they were through, the remaining letters were shovelled into a candle box and placed on the bar. Tim special. agent, thinking the office needed a little, regulating, asked the bar-tender who had received and dis tributed the mail, it' hci was post master. Ile answered "No." Are you the assist ant post master "No." "Where is the post master "Out mining." "Where is the assistant post master ?" "Gone to Hell's Canyon; and by thunder Bill ;lopes has got to run the office next Week; i't.s his turn." The Government official' then stated who he was, and - demanded the keys of the ofike. The bar-tender coolly took the candle box in» the bar, and placed it on the floor, _,i.e it a kick, sending it out of the 1 dom , log: "There's your post office, and now git — rile agent says: "Knowing the of the country, I lost Do, time in following, this advice, and got," The office was 'lir:continued. • Oh a it is t), be "a lawyer's clerk ! th\ itiv, to the acuteness learned in this high l) 9 iti'm a(tt1135.!; Englishinan has been ac lualiv t waded' to escape unscathed from 0 • ‘itat ilmwerons affair, a breach Of promise suit. Ile Rad paid his addresses chiefly by letter and in the most tender and poetic strain to a pretty girl, who, when his affec tion grew less, \' as tno prudent anti ener getic not to demand golden comfort for her wounded heart. Iler lawyer heardher ease c ith pleasant anticipations of awning - es; lint alas ! when he examined the love lette , :s of the lawyer's clerk he found /lb client was put tv them entirely out of c.aret. The M r genitals young matt had • itt%ritritbly signed • himself, "Believe tny own dearest, duel:lest Angelina, yti)ar` fondest, most de v4)led that without prejudice), Tommy." The lebml phrase, which the gentle Antall.- n:t ii lei i uttderciand, had•saved him. 'l'l‘c i:., Italiaaa informs the xr,rld :ft tt t t:••t% acid has been discovered. The o.taa: the acid 1 , 4 "anddonionochloro benze»esulplionic.'-`, A word you CalillJi floor I . lliegd you take a t c wie Is amalomontx•blor ebelizettesulplioUte. Could you a maid. adore With name so tholasoute AB sailitlommloohl,)r, oberliesuiphoiLic? o'er pll3sie9 11:) °tad port) And uwit(T eetions bnt clivinfotry I ralmt abhor, If I find it opening the do cr go,di horrid word4—ice'vr hoard boron. .1s flog bra:a-Jaw ..anzidutilonoclll..r -.•fletizeuemtivhkiltie A worthy old clergyman in a neighboring town is very bsent 1 . 10 has ashort memory. It is a common habil with him in the sermon to forget sonlething, and then, • niier sitting down, to rise again, and begin his supplementary remarks .the expres. ' irat , "By the way." A few Sundays ago q In got ball way through a prayer when he lie,itated, forgot what he was ab out, and slt down nbrupl ly without clniN, Ivt moment or two-he arose, and panting his fos din ger at the amazed congregation; he - said: "Oh, by the way—Amen." teen Call.) sits in Sally's elndr,_ h! don't Z wish that I were there ! •Alv,,n her fair fingers pat bis head. /h tiOn't I wish 'trots , rain instead? Whoa Sally's arms his neck imprison, (ilk! don't I wish my sleek Rae hib`n't When Sally kisses Carlo's noes, Oh I don't I wish that I were. thosa? When a crowd of jayhawkers started a disturbance Inn TFcas church, the other day, the preacher raised up a shot-gun and said : “Willian Dello, tut down or make it painful for you." 'William sat down and was quiet as a lamb. Georgia minister, in announclog th e , exercises fo next clay, said to his Cr/Jure gation: "I hope that all the congr , : gnil on wlll Meet ht 'teu o'clock, for pre Wisely at that hour I, 'will proceed to bap' oze sour Adults and six adulteresses. PAIN'S : D' EATABLISURD IN 184 g. INTER . votgqr, N. Y. A. WEST - OMIT & DO., • MANUFACTURERS OF PORTABLE •A sTATI ON A lar STEAM ENGIN ESA!, ROILMS 'pARTiarLAurrENTIoI l'Arn TO • GANG SX\Y & (ARCM MAUS siftriaLE am.Ls AND ENDINtilf-3 MAYS ON HAND. Water Wheels suited to all heads of water,,Taonery Irons, Bridgo Innis, &c. an experiOnce• by our alUrr. it". H. Calkins of over tivent# years as a Machinist and Foreman, enables us, by his personal supervision, to make strictly first-class Goo, • • ds Feb. 11 , 4, 1b13.-34 1 lIEEKAIANS G., W. PRESTON) • PRESTON &, HEERMANS Y _ 'IRON FOUNMS MkatINISTS "sr., 61ANUFACTOILEFU3 Oi STEAM .ENGINES' AND BOILERS, • aim/am', Gang and A. Saw Mills, Machinery foi Tanneries, Shafting, Gearing and Castings of every, description, in Iron and Brass. eornschittery of all kinds 'repaired 'promptly and at reasonable rates.-VP Corning, August 2g, New spring c* - oods. • Tili t i r c jimpAIGN Is Olt AND THE PEOPLE'S STORE is •ruE • FIRST IN THE FIELD, WITH THE LARGEST, . ( I.ND MOST COMPLETE STOCK OF Staple & Taney Dry Goods EVER OFFERED IN CIORININO. • • It hats gc Ito be preti.y generally known that we keep the largest stock, the best goods end soll them as low no any house to the trade in this section; and we keep very many articles not kept at any other store in town. In, addition to our general stock, • aux Otarptt*tadt campus avant goli and every variety. Our Cloth Stock exceeds auy within fifty miles, in quantity and variety. It t i t SHAWLS AND DOMESTIC ROODS enough for Th. 2 eitisess of Tioga county are respectfully Invited to tail and examine our stock amt prices. Appli 1. Ma. tiatfrEf & 1131 AVIE WU SILLEID MEM 1LJ,L2142 NI IMZ ? frILLI.4.m WILSO ITaS gone to New York to buy a stock of Spring and, Sum, 7ner Goods. He intends to Intl, front the best markets a bottom prices, and Jae will have some splendid bargains to offer . his customers when, he 7A711S He has