VOLUira ::7111:IIMBL.T
•
2 - 'l4 - •
POTTER. JOURNAL
PUBLtßnati DT
cALARNEIG - rioprietor.
warDevnted 10 the cerise of Rept'blicaiiists, thorn
terests of Agrllture, the advancement of Education,
and the beat god of Potter county. Owning lideuide
except that of lirlnclple, it will endeavor to aid In the
Work of more fully Freedomizing our• Country;
~90rAd_verti4ments inserted at the following, rates.
ItXcept Where speclalbargains are made, 4 .',4nurtre' ,
101 Ines of EfiCsier or 8 of Nonpareil
types :
I +guar°, 1 -.......-'--'sl 50
1 square, 2 o 3 lasertionii ..... 2 00
Each sub-enttent insertion lees than M..— ,40
l' square, 1 yOr ........ ------------13 00
Pla limas CardB, 1 year ' ' 500
Adinhalatratbea or Executor's Notices 3 00
Special and Editorial Notices per line 20
¢arAll trandent advertisements must he paid in
edvance;and no notice will be taken of ndvertt,ernents
fiqm a clistancb, Unk4s th6nllare accompanicid by the
money or satllactory reference.
9a' Job Work, of all kinds, executed with neatness
and despatch.
BUSINESS NOTICES.
iriee.and Accepted Ancient 'York 31n$ons
10 [MAMA ILODGE, No. 342, F. A. 31. ' Stated
Meeting 4 on the 2d and 4th wed nes•tays of each
month. Balllin the 3d Story' of the 01rnnted Block.
I).C.LAnttantE,See. WAI. STIEA.II, W. 31.
Ml ' T. ELLISON, II: n., .
DRA.CTICING PHYSICIAN, Coudersport, Pa.,
• -respectfully informs the citizens of the villaue and
Tlcinitithat hp will promptly , ' respond to all calls for
professional services. Office on First street, first tluvr
Wei!, of his residence. 17.40
JOAN S. MANN,
ATTORNEY : AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW.
Coudere:porti Pt.., will attend the Fevorat Coni•tr,
In Potter and Cameron counties. All husme,s
treated to-nie care 'win. receive prompt, attention.
Office on Mai street, in residence. •
•
I °MISTED and LAILILAM:E,
A : •-.
ttOILNYS' At LAW, :Coudersport, Penn's.
Will attend to all business entrusted to their
care with pr.Optuess and Acidity. .IVill also atanul
the several courts in the - stkljoinu4 counties. Whine
in the second Storey of the Olmsted Block.
• •
ISAAC BENSON,
ATTOTtNV-AT-LA,•V, Couder , port, ra., fill
attend tb all ImAuess entrusted to him with dare
and pronildneH: Attend 4 Galati of adjoiiiiim comi
ties. Olfiee on Seemed Etreet,neitr the Allegmiy bridge
E. • . W. K NOX.
F. •
AA Trorti - Y AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
Cou•ienAport, ra:, will attend the Ouurta In rat
'er and then joippg counties.
1111i,ILER aS McAi.AILNEV,
ATft)lt gl:'t S-AT LAW, 11 A n 111 :Ittl ttG, Pen n , ft. , --
Agont:lfor the Collection of Claint,ntntille. t. the
United States t itnd St :Ile GoVerntritgit: ,itchas l'ene•iorw,
Boa nty, Arre re of Pay,&o-Address Box 05,, iarrtsbn rg
w u. xi LI, en 1 • J. C. 3f . AL APSSY
i 1
• -311. w. 3IeiILARNEY.,
[REAL .EST.A.TE. and 1.5.5151 t kic:Cl2 AGENT.—
Land Buoght alit' Soler, Taxt, paid and Titles
investigated. Insures nroperty again-t tit ein th, Lest
conapanie• in the Coe ',try, and Person. , aaain-t Act
donto,in the Travelers Insurane,e Compan„%of Hart
ford. • BeAtniss transacted promytly
A. STEBBINS & Co.,
mEn.cof7dAq%-cTroue—el)..e.n.rrBoNtoitl)r3l,-loCu'r, drICV,
and fiverktbi.tig venally kept Sn a gvedi - trunii try we.
Produce:bon. lit and ectld • 17 29
C. 3E.',SIMIONS,
f ERCITANT—WELLSVI TAAL Y., Wbolo•
1 7nale told Retail Dealer in Dry Goode, Fancy and
Staple G coda Clothi DressGeods.i trove ries,
Flour, Feed '&c - Retailers supplied on liberal terms
91.411 LES S. JONES.
lkt Eß o, l B:l;Fin -- e n y e' ! e r r t s w i l i t i.9th :9 2 t
Groceries, se., Main Street, coutler , port, I'a
I). E. ovtzsTED,
A TEUCTI.I.I , ZT—Decicr in Dry (300,15, Read}
1 . Cl”thing, Crockery . , Groeerie., Flour, Feed,
Main street, Cou lersport,l'm
S:11IT111, •
AlElr9l,r,lN,",,l:,—TE;!!h•vra,L" Dr y
e G n G L3 ° l c i t ' l r ec e y. 3 -
and all Gnodil n.unliy found in n c,inntry vitoro,
• 1. I[. a. ovusTEp,
HARDWIARE lierenant, and Dealer In Stncee,
Tin and Sheet Iron-Ware, Main eireet, (*.ender
soort v PentJiA. Tin and heet Iro Ware ma de V)
lirter,,,ln treed atyle; on *sno S rt notice.n
ctivenEnsponT MOTEL.
D' F. GLASS:AIRE, I.`sorni7on, Corner of Main
* And Secondstreets.Coudersuort ,Potter Co.rn.
Liveiry'_ Se.-Lble is alio' kept in corinection - with this
Elate]. Dailly Sta7.en to and from the Railroads.
POlter Journal Job-011ice
• ,
RAVING lately added a fine new assortment of
.10E4ITE. to our already largo asi.ortment,
are ire'ilow prepared to do all kinds of work, cheaply
tasto - and neatness . ,Orders ,
, ,
LYMptiri* HOUSE.
. ,
Lewisville, Potter county, Pennsylvan i a .
IVILTONII7S. Proprietor , Having
Anion this excellent Hotel, the proprietor willies
o make the acquaintance of the travoling public and
eel!' confident of giving satisfaction to all who may
all on hirm—Feb: 1^_.66 tf ' • .
MARBLE. WORK
. •
Monuments., and, Tomb-Stones
. •
Arz i ,„, of all kinds, will be furnished on reasona
'IW a blo terms and. short notice by
C. Brenfile. 1
` 1111 "' Residence: Manna, I.S miles south of
Condersport, Pa. on the Sinneinaboning
Bold, or leave Tour orders at ,
the Pest Office.. feirli:
. • DAN BAlliEft. -
r a ENSION, EOUNTY . .aud WAR CLAIM AGENCY
Pensions procured. for Soldiers of the present
' r who are disabled by reason Of wounds received
or disease contracted while In the servictiof the United
Stites'', and pensions, bounty, lind.arrears of pay ob
tained for widowS:or heirs of those who have died or
been killed. while' in service. All letters of inquiry
promptly anal - yet:64 and on receipt by mail of a b ull,
ment of the case of claimant, I will forwiird.the
cessary pabers.fer their signature. Fees in . Pension
eases ses fixed by hiw. Refers to Irons. Isaac Benson,
A. ti;. Olmsted, John 8. Mann, end P. W. Knox, Reg
D INT BAKER, 1
Claire Agent, Coudersport, Pa.
JnneB 64
,
1 m an ,Per Year IWe want agents
lelut ay ay .;evotywhoro to sell our lIIPRi)F6D
$l. deWilltr 513Cflinee: Three new kinds: Under and
"Fer feed. Warranted five years. Above salary,
er ergo cornmie.fons paid.' The oNtr machines sold
In the. United States for leF a than $O, which arc lolly(
licensed byl•Ilowe, Wheeler & Wilson, Grover & Bal
ker,Singer4. Co.. &13achelder. A li other cheap ma
'chines are infringements and the seller or user are
liable to arrest, dne, end Imprisonment. Circulate
no. Address, or call upon Shaw & Clark, 13inde.
ford, Maine, or Chicago, Ill.rieq. 20,180. Jewly. .
Itch-! itch 1 Itch !
SCRATCH! SCRATCH! SCRATCH!
WHEATON'S. OINTMENT,
WM. Cure thefti in 48 Hours!
Also cures SALT RFIEUNE, ULCERS, CIIIL
ELAINS, end all 'ERUPTIONS OF TEE) SKIN.
Priee 60 cents. For ante by all dmlrgiets. By sending
60 cents to WEERS &.:POTTER, SOle Agents, 17Q
Waahtngton street, Boston, i Will he forwarded by'
free of ivntaae,to any p rt of the United Stott*.
"lane 1, 1660. sp.notiee crUy I,yr.
. .
. . . .
!-- ~••
•
.. • .
• .
, .$ •
, • . • -!•,
!
0
1111 - •
• ": 41 1V • • -N
1 4 '
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I • •
I • . - •
I
li.LiNIVIE 9 S -1' S'll i Onr.. l
d ' 1 -- -
At best, e're poor at saying ,
The things we care for most.,
Ai d thost who give the freest
~.i.e
slowest - ones to ' boast . ; -,.
Bu , when I see so many
- 'd mourning for the dead,
I cannot keep from thinking,
If the . • bore MY cross instead !"
II i
a
I'm
i
I si mple country - ' I' .1 ,
,
aman en
Not fai -. nor wise,-nor great,
Butt hate a woful strnggle
One Icriia day, with Fate'.!
And'whvi the sweet Christ gave me
This bitter - cup to drink, .
I know dot:—nor why mortals
From His baptism 'shrink I
I
"Dead in His
South'," 0, m l others,
It was i lfor Freedeni's sake
They left your dear ones sleeping
In lonesome field add brake !
To Liberty,, you gave them !
Togoand be with. god 1. , -7., :
What though ;the gatng :Eden, ... .
Were bloody battle-sod ?
. , 1
What if in fearful carniv , e,
Or in the prison heIC
They gar l i c' their lives to Freedom
And th'e;land they loved so well?
We ' all di l e, soon or latCr ;
And ,gl'orio)s deathsiwere theirs
Where slulvagairistlEarth's evil •
I Went i l pto God is players! '
. ,
anion eyes are weeping i
( I F tlidse who went 'Away,
t coin,b not,—thoughwait them
we
'V
liZfi
Fi
And
r rr,
irolth many a weary day 1
'ore, ow ltght myiangusih. .
I hdd but iOveC r A T
Isorn dtar fade groin pallid
BE
le S'ull) winds — orrsw - epp 1
[ear l n, Low s4veet:my sorrow,
i . .
I night hope to see
!atl.i!O'ie trees of healing
..clile friend that: went from :me !
when our CountrY called him,
e answered nOtla word,—
n m Fleedom cried for succor,
'is cold heart-hover stirred !
WPM, : L4ve is like, I know not;
Mitt; all my soul*ose.
.Aldl . ,'(.ri4d, "tio chilin can bind me
rTlO.ioll, dear Couhtry's foes !"
'What :nkans your bitter' weeping
. I.lor, those brave Men who fell ?
Yoh Wohld ha hate them TRAITORS
Like One I loved so well ?
MI
I ! ,_ I
TOO Wit OF A GOOD THING.
1
T9ere is one,l thin , / in which I think
inovelists Make a greatmistake. If they
particularly desire to enlist the syrnpathies
of their readers for their- hero or heroine,
they represent• 'him or her alone in the
world, destitute (of friends or relatives, with
no nncle or aunt, or even a country cousin
to; fall back bp - oil.
'Now to my Mind, such a situation is the
nein" eof bliss. I
! Everybody who reads this will call me a
brute; but I wish before lie judges me, that
lie wait till he is the yonngest of sixteen
children; born of a mother who was afflict
ed with tWelye hrothers: and ; sisters, and
, .1
son of a father who has ten sisters, living..
iThis is My situationthel situation of
Janes Brown, of Brownville.
I I cannot remember the time when my i
relatiyesi were not , source) of trouble to
me.l ' 1 I
All through my childhood I was afflicted
with au ts. They wanted to kiss me;
and''
tliough 4 never i objected to being kissed by,
the ladies in general, 111 objected to thig
monopoly of aunts. iinp; besides, all my
aunts b9t one took snuff; and she smoked:
As I grew older, My incles becamey
n
trial. They wanted me to do chores. T ey
were nil (settled down near my father's es-,
idencetmost of them Farmers; and if the
sheep got in the field, or the horses jumped !
out 'of ;the pasture, or the cat eat up the;
I chickens, Jim was called to attend to the
matter. I It's thi') greatest wonder in the
word that I did not run my feet off before;
I reached the age of young manhood.
, When I reached the period of being
tortured; with the tie of my cradats, and;
amonilci about thd glossiness of my dick- 1
i 4 i. l
e.s, th n my cousins came.down upon me
with their wants. If they wanted to go
to a cdricert, or singing school, or lecture,'
or dance,, i why there Was cousin Jim. ' Of
course cousin Jim would bedelighted to go.
And cousin Jim would go; and they
would flirt with other fellows., who were
not icousins, all the evening; and likely ,
enough get to sleep going home, and leave
consul Jim the pleasure of Whistling to the
moon for amusement.
*hen I was about twenty, my father
removed to Bston. Twelve of my broth;
ers and sisters' were married; two were at
school; and only Ellen and m yselfs were al
home. I ! II
1. I
I was'delighted with the change. We
should bq relieved, from our relatives. Most
of them were thoughtful of their money ?
and would not be likely to spend fifteen or
twenty dollars in visiting itls.
I began to make myself into a gentle-
man. I ixitronized the barber and his un
guents—and cultivated a moustache ' which
was my beau ideal of Iperfectioh. I. wore
bright colored neckties, and sported a gOld
N7atc' iii, and invested three dollars in a rat
tan, and six dollars in a beaver, which
,al
ways gave me the• headache, and made me
lbok precisely like an inverted candle mould.
Ilut•no matter for'-tha4 so long as I was
fashionable.
I made the- acquaintance of several
I LI • • '
obotea to file Thßeiples of litto etio(Aley, anB fife DisseiTlirptioil of ploillif9, jitehigise, aka. tebs.
COUDERSPORT, POTTER COUNTY, PA4 TUESDAY NOVENBER 13, 1866.
charming young ladies among whom was
Miss Flora Van. Voorhies, the belle of the
street in which we lived. Flora was a
beauty, and one of the most fastidious
creatures in the world. Nothing was'quite
good and elegant enough 'for, her. She
would' ; not have breathed the common air
it she could have conveniently dispensed
with it; and if the soles of her dainty boots
touched the soil of mother earth, it affected
Flora's nerves so badly, ,that she 'had a
headache for hours afterward.
I was raised to the seventh heaven and
le!non colored kidsl:l , her, preference; and
every night I devoutly prayed that some
of my relatives might not appear and nip
the whole thine in the bud.
Five months rolled away, and I began
to feel at ease. None of them had ,troub
led us, and we had n , ,t heard from them
ia any way. I indulged; the, hope • that
they had forgotten as. So, I think, did
my mother, who had become quite gen
teel, and had formed some very genteel
acquaintances.
, One morningwhen Mrs.' St. Michael, and
Mrs. Loery, two of our rri'pst distinguished
acquaintances, were in the parlor with my
mother, one f the railway hacks stopped
of our front door. An indefinable dread
seized me. I felt myself g' rowing cold as a
peeled frog. From the hack there issued
three bandboxes, two tr4s, a butter box,
.1
a handled basket, a bundle in brown paper,
en umbrella, and lastly- a green poke bon
net, beneath which I distinguirhed the
little wizened face. of itly father's oldest,
sister-L.-Aunt Sally
. Nutter... The very
blackest sheep of the whole flock of rel
atives! ,
"Bring 'em all right into the entry," she
called in a stentorian voice, "I'm to hum
here. This is brother Jason's house. La!
Jason's got up in the world sense be used
to peddle lobsters!
.It was a lucky thing
for him that he went to' making pill; and
got Doctor hitched on before his name!
ixpi;...t Martha's got so big you can't tech
her with a ten foot pole. But- law ! she
iheedn't try to put on any extras with me!
I know, 'ern all. root and branch! egg and
;bird!" and she burst into the room, carry=
ing her' basket and bandboxes.
The blinds were drawn, and Aunt Sally's
'foot struck against an ottoman, which
brought her down, basket, bundles and all
to the ikon The cover of the ba.sket flew
open and out rolled seven dozen of egg's—
Most of svhicn were smashed by the fall,
but sotine were in a good state of pre
'serrati4n..
"Qonsarn it!" cried aunt Sally, strug-
Iling from the ruins, "there goes seven
klozen . lf eggs!, And I brim°. 'em here to
g 1 it thirty cents a dozen; they hain't been
but fifteen at Brownsville ! What on airth
do youi have your horse so dark for ?
Anybody sick, or dead, or gwine to be?
It sine Is mouluy here! Do open a win
'der, so l i can see an inch before my nose!"
My i Mother, red and discomposed, threw
open a blind: Aunt Sally rushed up to
her. 1
"Why, Martha, how tickled I am to see
you! 1 You look as nateral as life, only it t
seems Ito me, you begin to show your age!:
Wall 'taint to be wondered at! A woman
I )
that's brung up so many children as you I
have, when she Bits tO be fifty year old,l
will naturally begin tp look old! And
here's Jim, I declare! why how you've
growd! But I must say you hain't growd
handsome! The Brown family hasn't apt
to. He's going' to be. the' express
of his granther--hain't he Martha ? Jest
the same drop to , his under 'jaw ! But
who's these ere people i here ? Some of
your city friends I recon!"l
Mrs. Leory lifted her eye glass, and
surveyed aunt Sally with iil concealed
contempt.
"Ho! ho! I rceon you're nigh sighted,
alarm; thought so the minit 1 seed your
eyes. Eyes that is kinder faded out, and
reddish like yourn, is apt to be weak. Ever
tried rose leaves steeped in milk ?"
Mrs. Leory arose, and drew her skirt
around her. Her 'face was as red as her
eyes. She spoke I very pointedly.
"I think 1 will be a going, M-s. Brown;
you have other company vastly more
amusing."
My poor mother stammered out some.
thing, and followed the ladies into the hall.
Aunt Sally brought up the rear, dying
out:
"You'd better do something for your
eyes rite off! They look dreadfully !
can see it clean here!"
My mother drew my aunt back.
"I. will.show you up stairs how, if you
please," said she.
"Oh, no I I don't keer about seeing
your house just yet.. There'll be time
enuff for that; for if I like Boston,l hal
kerlate to stay four or five weeks I'm
tired bow; them pesky keers has eanamost
shook me all to pieces. And then your,
roads here is so rocky, .I got all jounced
up I If Hived here, I'd have all the rocks
picked out of the roads if I bad to do it
myseli."
I seized my hat and left the houso. I
was too much excited to stay in aunt Sal
ly's society any longer at present. ~A.rlyrt
hing was better than staying at home
with her.
rushed down the firstllittle street that
offered; but my course . Was soon stopped
by a crowd, among which the star of the
policeman shone conspicuqus. ,
"I say I didn't do it cried a sotbe
what &trainer voice pitched on an extremely
high key, "I tell you I didn't tech , it; and
if you don't let me alone; I'll knock you
cloWn by pokey! Hello !Ithere'S my cous
in Jiml He knows me, and he'll tell you
that Pm jest as honest a feller as the day
is long!".
1
I shuddered. Here was another of , my
relatives; and at a little:distance I recog
nized the glossy tile of DiCk Van Voorhies,
—Flora's brother. ,
"I say, Jim I" cried my cousin, Tom
[Brown, flourishingli; arms at me, "come
here this minit, and tall. this man I hain't
J l a pickpocket! I say, Jim!"
'•I don't know you!" stammered J 1; and
taking 'a step. backward, I stumblo over
the stand of a candy and:, apple-WOMan,
upsettling tho whole concern, and. myself
besides. The woman was angry,: as she
had a right to be; and called me some very
hard names in a very strong brogue, and
bit lme two severe blows with a long han
dled, two quart noggin I
I scrambled to my feet and fled, hearing
as I went; the flatterino.jreniark from a by
stander:-? :
",He looks more like a pickpocket than j
totter one! Shouldn't wonder if he was
the!• one! He's got a real hang-dog ex
pression.
I plunged into the first cross-street that,
offcred,'and came upon George Seaward, a
young sprig. of the aristocracy, with whoth
I had an acquaintance. He gave me, a
cigar, and we walked up the street togeth
er, smoking, and making remarks on the
ladies we filet.
A teal cart came rattling altong, ,and a
rusty voice sung out, i
`Hallo! if there isn't cousin Jim Brown I
Jim, say, look' up here and see Sam
.mith, won't you? Shake hands with a
feller, do ;" aud. he extended toWard me a
paw which, for size, would have fitted a
Hercules, and, for color, an Ethiopian.
I made a dodge into the back yard of a
house, the inmates of which ,set a dog on
Me, and l inspired by the stirnulous of his
bark, I Jmanaged to escape into another
yard, by !climbing over the fence, and
leaving my hat and coat-tail§ behind me
as a souvenir!
In my read flight -through yard No. 2,
nearly overturned a young woman • Who
was hanging clothes on a line. I opened
my mouth to apologize, but she seized me
by the arm with an exclamation of delight.
"Why, Jim Brown, I?Oeclare l don't you
know me ? Me, your cousin Nelly
I broke from her; and no grass grw
under my feet until I was safe in my or),n
chamber. I sunk down chrnpletely ek
hausted, wondering if the entire popula
tion of Boston consisted of my relations.
. Suddenly I remembered. that I was go
ing to the theatre that night with Flora.
I niust put my hair in papers, and perfume
My moustache.
At dinner, Aunt Sally eyed me' curi
ously, and asked me what I had gat my
hair rolled up for. She guessed th9.e was
going to be a quilting somewheres, she
Said. My mother unfortunately informed
her that I was going to the theatre. I .li'rorn
that moment my doom was sealed.
{ That was the place,of all others,that mint
Sally wanted to visit. And she "could go
with me jest as well as not, if not; more
so," she said complacently.
I dressed myself, when he timelcame,
nd hurried out at a side ddor, detehnined
1.6 baffle aunt Sally; but !Ile old Woman
pas too sharp for me. Th se she sat com
posedly. on one of the stone lions that
flanked the' gateway, dressd in a flounced
pink calico, and a yellow onnet, waiting
for me.
"I'm all ready,?' she remarked, jumping
pp; and I've took my work-bag along,with
Some 'crackers in it. If it 11 1 016 in till
!nine o'clock, we shall want a lunehin."
We stepped into the street. The people
stared at us. I felt as red as a full blown
poppy. 'My face streamed with perspira
tion. I could not endure it; it was no use.
Politdness I ignored in this case. I took
advantage of the old lady's rapt gaze at
;the window of a print shop, to bolt down a
by treet; and in a few moments I was in
'the presence of my divine Flora. We
walked leisurely to the theatre; I at my
ea4--for I knew that the old lady never
could find her way, unassisted, to the
thehtre. I
i:tidge, then, of my horror, when, on
reahing that place of amusement, the first
speOtacle that greeted my eyes iiias aunt
Sally, standing in the door, her work-bag
on her arm, her voice raised to its highest
tension, and her• right hand gesticulating,
to the croWd she had gathered around her.
"He went out of sight jest like a flash!"
she was saying, "and I give a little boy a
ten cent piece to show me the . way here—
and I'm waiting for him to come along.
I'm kinder afeard he's got lost, for he was
allus rather weak-headed; but, seem as if
he might have asked somebody the !way;
he's got, a tongue in his head,--Hallo!
there he is now,
and the Queen of Ingland
with him, by her gonad! Come alorio.,
Jim; this meetin's jest g,oin to begin!
They're a toOtin on the bass-viol now
Where on airth did Yon go so quick 1- . Is
that yeur r , gal ?" , ,
Indignation and disniay_beld me silent.
Flora's face was' like a blush-rose.' The
crowd, by a great effort, restrained them
selves from‘clacrring the old lady; but it
was very evident to me that they would
not long exercise any such forbearance.
"Jim,"- said my ancient' relative, , is a
confidential whisper, loud lenough to be
heard by the whole assembly, "you've got
some smut on your upper lip! I seed it
before we started, but I didn't like to say
nothing. 1 ou'd better isvipe it off; it looks
dreadfully 1"
The crow4iihirly !tared. Smut, indeed!
My cherished moustache, that I had scented
and- oiled, and admired for three long
months! If the old-lady had been a man,
1 I should have challenged her On the spcit.
With a desperate effort I addressed .Flora.
"Flora, my dear ;. we will go in, and not
pay attention to that insane old woman."
- Flora turned 'toward me, an iron deter
mination in her blue eye;
"Frank," she said—she always called
the Frank—"tell me whb that horrid old
creature is before I go another step I"
"Ilerrid critter! I hain't a horrid crit
ter!" Cried aunt Sally, waving her work
bag. "I'm fa deceo
woman, and hain't
got, no paint onto mfr'face, as some folks
that I know of has. Ana I'm Jim Brown's
own aunt—his father's sister, Sally, that
married a Nutter; and I've mended his
pinnyfores and trowsers' nanny a time!"
Flora listened, and' when aunt Sally fin
ished, she cast upon we such a look.
"Mr. Brown," she said, quietly, "I have
the honor to wish you h very good evening,
with your estimable relative;" and then
took the arm of Fttz Ludlow, and sailed
away. 1 1
I thought I should have fainted on the
spot; and, perbaps'l should, if I hail not
felt my sleeve vehemently pulled. I turn
ed and shw a lean-faced, man.
"Jim," said he, lend four uncle five dol
lars, do. I've left my • pocket-boOk to
hum !" :
14 Good gracious l; it was uncle Solomon
i
t rench l and behind him ' was my uncle
Bill, and behind him Amy aunt Maiy and
cousin Susan: I did not stop to see how
many More thhrewas. I took it for grant
ed that;the whole audience was to b&com
, posed of my relatives: , I jumped down
the step. and fled at, the top of my speed.
Aunt Sally_ cried at the. extent of .her'
lungs: ' , ;
"Stop him! stop him!. .I'll give a quar
ter to the Man who captivates him !"
Community; at large at once decided
that I Must be a i thief or a murderer, and
i they raihed after ; me at a railivay speed.
A dozen dogs joined in tie chase, making
night hideous ; Withl their hoWling. I was
in toe imuch of a hurry to keep a very
keen lookout for obstacles, and the
first thing I knew, Iran headlong over a
, lady di!awing a baby carriage.
~
1 Of,c'ourse she was ,angry., She seized
1 the baby with one hand, and my shoulder
1 with the other, and 'began a lecture in lan- •
guage :j more forCible th4n polite; I tore
myself:, loose and renewed my flight.
But/they overtook me. l I had commit
' ted a crime which /People never overlook;
;I had !abused a woman with
. - a baby—so
they said. I deserved death on the spot.
A couple of policemen came u 'opportune
ly. They made a little flour' hof atithor
ity mid marched me off to the watch
, house.l
In ;that interStint c , School of morals I
1
remained until the next morning,when
my e6mina4'on took place, and no one
appealing against me,. .I was dischar g ed.
But Ii would not go home. Aunt: Sally I
was stlill .there%; perhaps a dozen more of
my relatives, since "it never rains but it
poural' ' 1
A bright thought' struck me. I would
put the ocean between us. A whaler was
lying at one of the wharves, which was
advertised, to saljthat very day. I went
down there, en red my name on the book,
got a seaman's fig; and presented, myself
to the caPtain for inspection. He received,
me with open arms. 1. ' . j
• "Good Iheavens!" cried I. ' • . .
"Yes!" said he, "I am your own cousin;
- 1
David; mid, your cousin Daniel , and George/
are among the crew, and your aunt Beg*
is going as 'far as Florida:;;for her health." i
I waited to hear no more. , . The versel
was just putting off, but I could 'swim
Thank heaven, I Could Swim! And; withi
out so much as saying good-bye, I dashed'
into 'the water, and struggled to the shorel ;
to be met by aunt Sally, who exclaimed:
''Better go ' right , • home, Jimmy, an
change your stockings., Wet feet is dread;
ful apt to , print: on the rheamatiz. Don't
mind him, captain l'' yelled she after the
receding vessel,l"he was allersja little weak
in the upper story !"
I broke ,from' aunt l Sally--went -to a lii
tel-+dried my clothihg---got into 'a raF 1-
way car ; --went to, Philadelphia,. and en
listed in the army. My captain is my
uncle Saul, and I have thiee cousins in my
company, and five
ours
in another regi
ment with which ours is brigaded
Did ever a poor fellofr have such luck ?
MEM
(#
TERIS.-41.40 PER ANNUM.
If I should ever be.' found, some fine morn
ing, at the decd of a rope, it will he the
fault of my relatives.
DRILL'v FOR OLIMFBEREI.--x.E.I
ati
good ways and habits. •
Attentionll To your own bushier/3i.
Right face! Manfully.do your . duty, and
keep . sober, • '
Quick Marck I From. temptation to .coo i
anything 'which is untnanly. 11
Halt r 'When consciences tells you that
you-are not doing as you would like oth- 1
era to do to you. ' f '
Right About Face I From diehonestyl
and falsehood. '
Present 'Arms! Cheerfully when your;.
wife asks you to hold the baby for an; hour.
Break off! Bad habits and everything
which is likely to retard your advancement
in this world and a place in. the world 1.9'
come.
A Western friend sends the following:
"We have lin our town d• good-hearted and
well-meaning man,
,who sometimes, in en
deavorineto be profound, 'gets off some
very queer,' sayings. Among other good,
qualities he has an implicit, confidence
Providence, which he once qualified in this,
way: He had• just returned froin a long ,
and tedious ride on a wet and cold wits•
ter's day. I Sitting down by the fire and
warming himself, he remarke I to a friend,
'Peter, I really believe if it had not bert
for the blessing of a kind Providence and
these thick pants, I should have cangit
my death of cold I' "
Su .—An Irish boy, triirig hard to
get a place, denied that he was Irish,
dont know what you
.mean by not being
an Irishman'," said the gentleman, Who W,ati
about to hire him.,- , -"but this I do known
that you were born in Ireland." "Och I
your honor, if that's all,' small blame thitt.
Suppose your old cat had kittens in fibs
oven, would . they be loaves of breadi"
The boy got the place.
A well-known' Democ-at of flostim vral
acco'sted the other day by a Republican
with the question, "How does your party
flourish ..?" "They are scarce, sir, rsrs'
scarce; so much so, sir, that x dyed-in-the
wool Democrat attracts 'attention in the
streets; they are rare, sir, very rare. I 'al-
Ways take the back streets now, sir, to avoid
impertinent curiosity."
At Cleveland, during the l delivery of
Mr. Johnson's speech, that interrogatpry
gentleman repeatedly-asked, "What pledge
have I broken 8 "A dilapidated boot black
on the pavement below; getting tired pf
the repetition, responded in a shrill yoke '
"The! temperance pledge."
I
The Pennsylvania election has rendered
the Democrats hopeless. The old lady
whose horse ran away said : "I put my
trust in Providence 'till the britehen broke,
and then I didu't know what to do. Penn
sylvania was the "britchen" of Democracy,
A Philadelphia - clergyman, in the
course of a sermon, recently remarked:—
you need not clasp your hands so fervently
in prayer that you can't get them open
when the contributron box comes round."
The manager of the Nashville theatre
was perplexed the other night The stage
carpenter took laudanum, awl the low
comedian took the' cholera. The play was
commenced, however, and presently some•
body started -a false alarm of fire, and thmi
emptied the theatre. .
Somebody says aaby laughing in its
dreams - is conversin g with angels. Per•
haps so but we have seen them crying in
their waking hours 'as.though they werd
having a spat with the Devil.
"Nine tailors make - a man." Ninety.
nine tailors like Andy Johnson wouldn't
make a man as good and loyal as ''Our
martyred President." • i
A young lady in Wisconsin had both
legs and her collar
who
broken by the
kicking of a horse , who 'got his foot en
tangled in her hoops:
Why cannot a deaf man be logalty evr
victedl Betause it is; not lawful to con
demn a man without a hearing.
Why do the , birds feel depressed early
in a summer morning? .Because their
bills are all over dew.
What is the difference between a m
and a bedstead ? One flees for tefuge, an
the other is a refuge for ilea".
Oliver Wendell Holmes noticed in
Russian paper as Oliver Vendel Goline.
-
A Virginia gentleman of 19 has ju
married- a matron of 58.
Why is rheumatism like a glutton ?
Because it attacks the joints. '
A fine coat nay cover a fool but ca
never conceal one.
an never turns to tile ileft
What workm
A wheel-right;
ii
Eil