II
VOLIOE Ktrl.-NUMBM 22.
THE _ , •
ER JOURNAL
POT
PGBLISHBD BY
lelklianakey, Proprietor.
i i EAA I INVARIABLY IN ADVANCS.
11. w. 331
$1.50 ra
d to the cause of Republicanism,
of Agriculture, the advancement
, apii the best good of Potter
ning no guide except that of
ill endeaver to aid in the work
Freedomizing our Country.
* * *Devot!
`the interests
of Eclucatio.
zolltitys. 0
Drincitole, it
of more full
ADVFILTISEMENTS inserted at the • following
rates, except where special bargains are made.
1 Square [l9 lines] 1 !insertion, -- - 5 O 5O
1 a " '3" 1 --- $1 50
Each subseq ent insertionles's than 13, 25
1 Square titre months, ? 50
.1 . gg six " 400
" nin " 5 50
" one year, 600
- Column:six month_,;
''.. 20 00'
cc cc a 7 'llO 00
i t cc to Lt i 1
• ,
. . ' 7 00
1 " per
a: year. t i 40 00
g, , ~ _ I 2 0 00
1- • , '
Administrator's or Exec'utor's. Notice, 200
Business Cards, 8 lines Or le'ss,l3er year' 5 00 I
Special and Editorial Ncdices, pc,- line, 10 i
* * *All transient adfrtisements - must he 1
paid in advance, and ndnotice will he taken
of advertisements front a distance, unless they ;
are accompadied by theimoney or satisfactory
reference.
* * *Blanks, and Job .Work of all kinds, at
tended to nqmptly and faithfully.
NESS CARL)
BUs
,cmted. Ancient Ycrk maso43.
LODGE, No. 342, V. A. M.
t!ngs on the 2nd and 4.tlil3'ednc.s
-`i trona). Alsc, 31:sonie gather-
WedneAay Evening. for work
their in Coudersport.
C. H. Wium.YER.,
YMAS
JOIIN S. .H.A.1•7.2C:,
Free and
EULALIAI
ETATED Neei
days of eac
logs on e7el
End' practicl
A. S/D \ FI
kNF) COI.7.Ni . ...;ELLUP:
Pa., will attend illf? eJrral
.tter and 51'F au Counties.. All
..rusted his care will receive
•ntion. corLcr of AVe.,...t.
LTTOTINEY
Conderspor
- ;:onrts in PI
Dusines en
prompt att
and Third .1
hat G. OLMSTED,
COLTNSU,LUIZ, AT LAW•
, l'a., will at.l.ead to :ill bu,i.11 , -
his enre, v.rfih 'pr,:mptnes
ce on Soth.4-est.co:ner of
streets.
ART
STTORNEY
Couderspor;
intrusted tc
Zdt'ity. Oa
and Fourtli
A.A.O BENSOX
T LAW, Coudersport
business entrusted to
mutness. 01het: on i
ATTORNEY
attend to a
care and: pr
near the A
MI=EI
IF. W. KSOX,
AT LAW, Coudersport. Pa.,'111.1
tend the Courts in Potter ::32d
Cet*.ti,R..
ATTORNEY
regularly
the adjoin
D. T. ELLISON,
11 PIIY:_'11 . CI AN, Co uderFpnrt. Pa..
s'
inform the citizen; of the Ill
cinity timt he will promply re
calls 11 - .. r pr l ; - ife,:sional t•errices.
..air, st, ill 'oilq[ling formerly oc
k W. Ellis. E.trl
respectfull d
Cage and vl
. spond to al
- Office on :1
cupied by .1
.. d E.'A. JONES,
DRKGS, mEDICINES, PAINT?
Arti , :les,Sttl;iPlP,ry, Dry Good:
c., Mtan st.. Cuudersport,
DEALERS IN
Fanc3
Groceries,
E. OL:4STED,
DEALER I\ DRY GOODS, READY-MADE
Clothir.g, C ockery, Groceries, Main st.,
Coudersport Pa.
C LLINS SMITH, •
'DEALER in r Goods,GrcerieF. Proyi=ion3.
Hardware,. queensware, Cutlery, and . all
Goods usually found in a cAitry`• - :".tore.-1—
Coudq,rspor,., Nov. 27, 1361.
COUI4ERSPORT lIOTE'L,
9. F. GL..iSSII.IIE, Proprietor, Corner °-
Main rsd Second Streets, Coudersport, Pot
ter CO., Pa. •
A Liv:ry Stable is also kept in conned
lion with this Hotel.
H. J. OLMSTED,
MAUER TN STOVES, TIN at . SHEET IRON
WARE, Matt st., nearly opposite the Court
House, Coo ersporti Pa. Tin and Sheet
Iron Ware r ade to order, in good style, ou
short notice!.
•a. C. M'ALAICI;;EY
GL S 111cAff.dARNEY,
I=
MILL I
ATT I
HAR
W.
ISBUR.G, PA.,
GENTS f.
, 1
Jagainst ti'
ernmeats, sue
of Pay &c.
Ir, the Collection of Claims
United States and State Gor-
as Pension, Bounty, Arrears
i lddress Box 93, Harrisburg, Pa.
Pension B
until and War Claim
Agency. _
PENSIONS I
present we
wounds recei
while in the se,'
pensions, lion .1
for widows or
or been kil'ed
inquiry promtl,
procured for soldiers of the
r who are disabled by reason of i
roi or disease contractracted
rvice of the United States ; aed
ty, and arrears'of paY obtained
heirs of those who !hare dit:td
while in service. All, letters 'of
answered, and on receipt br
mail of~i it-etteEnent of the ease of claimant I
will forward the necessary papers for their
signature: FeLs in Pension cases as fixed by
law.
REFERENCES.-110n. ISAAC BENSON ' "lon. A.
G. 01ms•rmo, J. S. 1.1.1x5, Esq.. F. tit'.-Knox,
Esq. - DAN BAKER,
• Claim Agent Couderport,Pa.
June 8,
• •
How
\
D ASSOCIATION,
ILADELPHIA, P/.
Ti IS EASES o
JUP ry and sex'
treatment—in
SOCIATION--
enrelopea, free
SKILLIN BOLT,'
F . o. 2 South Ni
jy1315:64.
, f the Nervous, Seminal, rrina
kialsjstems—neo;and reliable
leports of the HOWARD AS
!lent by mail in sealed letter
lof charg•e. Address, Dr. J,.
HTQN, 'Howard Association,
110. Street, Philadelphia, Pa.
, .
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.
I Brir - cousm LANKY.
• I
Fanny, my cousin, was a wild, frolic
some Sort . of a girl, , and as full of fun as
any girl dared to be, without meriting the
repulsive appellation of Tom boy.
She', was up to all sorts of tricks, and
wouldiplay some Most unmerciful jokes
I • 1.
on ine i wuenever aribpportunity presented
itself. •
3
I, at that time, !was a young man of
twenty-two, just gridnated from the prin
cipal High School, And naturally, as most
young Imen do at that age, thought my
self of some importance to the commuity.
iname was-u.) matter, Fanny al
ways called me ''Conz Frank."
I was paying a. short visit at Uncle!
John's, and as I was thrown a great deal'
in Fanny's society, I, of course, became
very intimate with her.
If Fanny over played practical jokes on
me, I was certainly very little behind her,
for I eta naturally very- much of a tease.
If I found anythin- would annoy her,
that was tiAe very tliing, I was sure to do.
It' slip disliked .a certain book I was
sure tolbe continually quoting from it
If sl - fe abhorred a particular person, I
was alWays talking about him, and would
bring him to the Reuse until she would
grow fi ntic and seek relief in a. flood of
tears, Which invathtbly had the desired
effect tO make nie be.g pardon and prom
ise betier coudunt in the future--for
never euutd stand tears.
I It was a glorious evening
,and Fanny
!intended Lavin 7 v.! few of her.youn= lad . ;
acquaintances with li,±r to while. -dway the
hours plea:\antly. ! She was very f_nd•of
4.l•Juipatty and alWays entertained, Ler
friends (.lelight fully. _
Well, Fanny was to have eonipany r
- ceiieft.ded that I would have sonic
awuseni'ent at the invited young ladies - -,
expense.
I revelred several plans in my imagin
ation, and finally concluded that I would
lip iat.6 the belrount, unvb3erved, where
the girls wculd be .I,iNely to leave their
capes, cbai , is, hats,!. etc , carry out WV
praclical joke, and take leave while the
girls mire busily engaged in the peeler,
j So, elriy in. the evening I hid .upelf
gi t I behind- a wardrobe that stead in a .c.orner
allot' the roues, a few feet from the wall,
fully be:t on-doing some mischief and
having .4 fanfth at the expense of Fal. - k ey
and 'her Ifrieut 4 .s. :
, P.
ii :Li
COM
.
I hadinet Leen ..r2i.ny hiding placelon:z
, before a!bevy of you'ug ladies, ail talliiap,
,at once it seemed to me, wade their ap
pearaucd, and began direstia g
of hats, Cloaks, ElJaw!ls; and other wearing
apparel.
"Fanny," said Be.itha, a young lade to
• =.
!who'll I had been Raying pal - Lieu:or ai
-1
tention,l'l wonder whether Frank will be
here to-night r'
"I court. tell, Bertha," repliA Fanny
"I told him I expected company; and that
you would probably be one of the party.
tbut he simply said F 'Ali, indeed,' and
walked off, wearing Something of a mis
chievous smile, witieh I could tiot, inter
.pret. There is one !thing you way de
pend upon : if he is not here to•uigl:t. we
will be apt to have shine of Lis horrible
jokes played upon tts ; so keep a good
look out, girls, and 14 us tiara the tables
• on him, "i
replied Bortha, "it would be
such fun to play a- go l od joke on Frank."
! my belovedi. Bertha, would it ?
We shall See whether I am to be denied
'by anticipated sport," I mentally said.
i l The girls having relieved themselves:
i of all unnecessary garments, and looked.]
each one,. for the dozenth time in the
glass, withdrew to the parlor, and left ins
, sole occupant of the bed-room, and having;
the necessary articles before tue with!
,
which to wane ettOie sport.,
Stepping out of my T pro• I
ceeded to ;tie' capes, cloaks and shawls!
together in, a string, at the end of which
I attached t he hats and bonnets without
[ number. t intended . to sprinkle' eayeune!
'pepper over the whole, and give the girls
a sneeze; to do this, rniust go to thel
kitchen, after the pepper.
Noiselesgly I stole out of the room into )
the kitchen, found the Cayenne bottle.!
and was just on the point of retracing my!
steps, Mimi I heard the whole troupe ofi
girls coming pelt-111011, as though the Old
Harry was after them;
What was I to do tucler the existing!
-circuinstandes ? It .w*ildn't do for we.l
to stand still and be' caught in that posi
tion.
tt certainly wouldn't be policy to!
rush out oil the back door, and thereby
excite the girls suspicions.
I looked around in dismay, when sud
denly
eYes fell upon the ne..V swill
barrel Fanny's mother had get that day,
and which had been left standing in one
corner of the kitchen until a proper. place:
could be foUnd for it. It was perfectly
clean; and Would have been fit to hold'
flour. It had a cover on it, with an open-Ifor Chief of the Frp-ineer Bureau made Gen. Ilalleek is said to be au applicant
tug about ten inches in diameter.
vacant by the death of General Totten.
Quicker than a wink I was in the barrel ,
and out of sight of 'the girls. who camel Within a week after the cali7for n 3o , ,o r oo .
.=
into the kitihen toughie and talking as i men was issued in Ohio, 34,517 ruin
e
though theylwere having the best of times. I ported for-duty ready to take the field.
D:bOiCa to fIN ?iiviples of 'vile, DeNoci•ll,ll, - Q0 ilia 1.)13,3,*;)1pf10r . ? of TifoNlil, fietus.
COT.T.DERSPORT, POTTER COITIV
They evidently were going to stew some
oysters, and I, 0 Lord ! would have to
remain a prisoner until such time as they
concluded to leave.. Well, it could not
be helped., so I settled myself as best I
could, fully resolved to stick tO, the bar
rel as long as it afforded mo shelter.
:To work . they went. The oysters were
soon out.of the shells, and Fanny, brush
ing the shells in a pan, approached the
,
barrel. Goad Lleavens ! She was going
'to empty the shells on my head. Ugh !
down came a shower of shells with such
force as to dearly stun, me, and. Fanny
! with a laugh, cried : -
"Girls,
I've christened the new swill
barrel," at Which droll saying -the girls
all giggled.
"IV ell," thought I, "many things might
be worse; and the girls may not have oc.
casion to use the swill barrel again," ,
But ha'rclly had the thought passed
through my, brain, than splash, down
came a.protniscuons. mess of potato peel.
ings, old bread and cabbage leaves. This
display of hospitality was aceutnoanied
with a hearty laugh from the girls, and I
heard Fanny raw irk that she :vas =thing
good feud for bogs ]
"I wonder why
appearance I" I h
"Don't 1:131.317,"
ne is enjoying hull
which recanrii clic
the girls
"I:l.joying; hi:n!
thought I with . T
tuueb better, trick)
; hope at Eoule tutu
zive you a tfdle o
“N‘Alie,”tea,
cannot live wi,thou,
atcly lar,V pail•[
prveipimted upon
new coat,
the dais before,
like a drowned rat
• I heard a L.att,
=
the sir:; were aw
was 111 t!,€ ict Ut ju,
:viieu, oh! dowii . fe,,i
coaup:e.tely
an ita•tant I was oti
the wid,,t of a ,koz.
"I.taluit.t& s k_ c roni
Then a luud, lay
could tuduto nu . .y.l
dour, I wus wet., flt.h
‘,f tu,kl a❑
lic;tha, =•if
1212 OD Zll,l' 1.t..,e1i.c.f t
iag 50.P.:,81C'85
I rushed fruity tl
Lack"LitNcq, liNif
yi2:ling at tie tiqs o
toned thaw all, ar
in the ruout of my
panting for brcath. ; P.lilltrn 7 Truly, i' ,- would almost seem
- "Geed Lord," er'ell Hat -77,-"what havc' that the Old IVoild theory of niaik's inea
you been doing : to ;et your . s e lf in z...u01i a FA . t; ',, , ,t4i or self-government is the correct
icligi:t :-11011.ng in the oitter f" i one, alhen we may see thousands of the
"ilu, he, harry 1 1' I ilTlivil,'"qive rac; fieemtiu of .Pecinsyltataia so blind, so
a suit of y,,ar clothes ill a lfasin t.f wa-:.thouhtitiss, anti so sul , servient to the die.
t:r and 1 v.ill WI yi:u all the particulats ; !tates O'f a partisan svirit, as to vote . away
ptovided pun prOatts i e secrecy." the rePutailou ot thei Cummouwealtli,
While renovating mysolf, 1 riated to:and make the 9afeznitati of Hit:it - liberties.
Harry arc advehture, and I thought lir , : the pl'pvtiling of : designing bnaves and.
would kill hinit:if laughing. After I uulitiehins. - :—/ - 7111rt. !-.1:',-rs:r.. 1
had coucinc2d, he slapped we oa the • •
shoulder and said : l‘The best j.,:,k0 of the; i raLiilJ• . •
6E1150/3, Frank," Abut tweutv-lire rear, , ago, twa bro
don•t see it in that light," I replied.; thers, turn and'nocy re . siding in .lienne-
I with Hurry that night, find i bunk, married], 'Their %ices never
the next Morning vent back to =air each, other until they were married:
John'e.
!Theseiwo brothers are-!blacksmiths and
i The first person Il met was Fanny, who
burst into fty fit of laughing on seeing we.
I flied to be nuery but couldn't, and as I
; took her proffered hand, I said : "A truce
I to all practicid jokes' Fanny ' ."
-
"With all my heart," she replied ; and
You may. depend:
upon it,l pryer fi
er
ward tried to j.die with My Cousin Fanny.
-.-V"Z"*Otie of the American characteris
tics which mastsurprised' the good na
tured Mr.- Troilupe iii his recent journey
through this couutryis the imperturbable;
good humor ailid Impfulttess of people.
Ile meets frequently people who are ruined
by the calamities of the war. They never!
weep, or wring their hands, or tear their
hair. One man, from whom the — sec
sionists of Mi.t.sOuti had takes cattle, crops
and all the fruit of . ye.its, merely re.
marked, in a quiet way, while he picked
his teeth with a bowie knife, "Yes, they
have been kinderrou7h with me." That
was all ;be had nothing else to say. Mr.
Trollop thinks u genuine American
never, complains' and never despaifs.
Whatever happens in the externaf world,
says Mr. T., "the man is always there."
"Where are you going 7" asked a little
boy of another, who had slipped down on
an icy pavement. "Going to get up !"
was the blunt reply.
Frank don't tnake his
and I.3l:rti.a sa7.
•cplied Fanny, "unless
self better ::i.;etr here ,"
ted anutbtr: lau b -11 frog,
- elf better elsmrhere,7
4 grvi:c. "Ugh, very
rangy,and I
lie time to be able to
the. pleasure, I aw eu-
I d Fanny say,
I
water," aL.Li
lull of u;::':-water was
_Le, enulpiet , ...ly ruining
•il I l;ad purehtt,sed only
i malting' we Lel n -, re
than a huinau beirz..:
law . - 11 froa k else girf;, ;
rtrehin, acro.„ .me that ,
of my presence, I
l i wiping from the barrel.'
inie a handful of flour,:
I-ale far a mou.ent. In'
It of the barrel aud'ln
.Ibinu._ group of ,airis.. 1
t l" (died Fanny.
' r II from the gills. I
lore. linshin; , to the:
ii in the face by a basin;
'.2):eusi tne, sir," by j
:t ball of t:11 dun streak
he n•-ek l -n:
-, ne kut - ..ol:-
- Iv
Ise 'louse a<i dovu a capable . It,en aro cftentinl ,, s chosen to fill
dozen ch - 44.- . : welllas, the lowest ofliees
voices. I. ;ii th':eri.rift eie the people ? Neel we feel
Id soon foupti tny,c , lf tliat has a Governor
trieLi, Harry Wii,ue, SEl‘ . "34:l:RaT;(lNew''Jersey a tiorerror
_
E work tuc.:ther, occubY the same b bop their
..
father and grandfather occupied; But the
!Innis _remarkable and commendable foa•
Lure in 'r,t-ft.irliiice to the matter is that there
Itwo faMilies hare 'aired together as one
I 'ever since the were married all
eatiu ti the same table; and all in per•
i tect hlroiony. few years ago these
I two men, lett home fiir California. While
waiting on the Istlatins for a steamer, one I
of them was taken sick, it wac agreed
that the well-brother should proceed to
California, and that the other should re-!
turn initue as soon as ihe was , able, which
he did. , The Ca:iforriia brother remained
in the,geldeu,state working at his trade ;
.until hi accumulated SB,SOO, when here-1
turned , home. After' i the conaratulations
the Califerniap brought out his treasure;
and said, "Here brOther is 81,800, your
half of my earning's l !' .1 The wives took
turn in presiding at thOicible—alternatingi
weekly j l the one off (.114 taking no more(
ITIZONE3 matters' than if she was a
hoarder: •
We gather the above facts from a gentle
-1
roan of It this city who recently made a
short call at the borne of these brothers
We set Ithese people down as bona fide
Christians.
The Wheeler with 1700 men,
deciaudkd the sui - rtider of Dalton, Ga.,
on the 14tit• inst. • Thieiraid had been an
tieinatelby Sherman, and our forces were
prepared for it.
'A
couple got warned In Lewiston, lived
tcgethet, about, twenty-four hours, and
sued for a divorce.--Sensible 1•
Y, WEBBIE'SDAY AUGUST•3I, 1.864
1
I I Toting at - Random.
Whoever has examined the official re
sulte of the recent election in this State
carefully must have been struck with one
remarkable and' significant fact- therein
I disclosed. In favor of the first amend
-1 utent allowing soldiers to vote, 199,657
'banks were east;, end againstit, 165,163.
There was nothing singular about this,
for the hoitility to this measure on -the
part of the dppositiou,wis as manifest as
lit was persistent; but -that so strong an
I
Opposition vote should have been 'east
!against -the ti,o remaining amendments
lis a patter for surprise and refieefion.—
I They did not 'present issues of a partisan
1
or pblitieal character ; their purpose was'
!merely to put a check upon legislative
corrUptions which are alike obnoxious to'
Democrats and Unioniats,•and we can re
collect no Single' instance in which their'
propriety was .aalled in question, even by
t he most bitter of the Opposition pp.pers.
We had a right to expect that the cue
!lilies[
of theClove.rutrtent would poll a
• lrea4 vote against the first amendineet,-
!
for the possibility of their success in fu
tureloontests depended wholly upon their
abllily to deprive soldiers of the right- of
tr . :web:se. That the latter amendwents,,
howevcr„would be: carried without dis
sent We'searcely entertained a doubt.
The iesult has greatly disappointed this
ealerilation. - According to the returns,
75,16 votes Were cast against the second
ame- :latent, and 75,812 against the third.
That is to say, of the ; hundred and odd
thetvend Democrats (so-called) who went
,
to tn l .?. poi e, mereilian three-fourths cast
their votes for the perpetuation of a sys
tem of legislation, corruption and inal
.cea,iii-pet, which has clis . .! , raced the charae
r the State AsSerubly; and interfered
the enactment of laws really useful
necessary for tire public welfare
,-seventy•five thousand Democrats
voted that "log-roiling" is right and
ter o
with
alid
Over
Lo.ve
- proper, and that that time honored insti
: onion, vulgarly called ' , the lebby," ought
te.be jealously defended against the flied
, dling l spirit of Abelition intoerance.—
Consequently. they''-lave allowed them
solveS to be 'placed in a very ugly position.
In charity we are willine; to believe that
the ribsition is a 'fals!e 'one, and that those
who a. - ,:um
ed it did r . ,, - k lit ht!vitr upon what
gi ounld :hey were ainnit to stand; but how
humiliating the rcilection that three
fourths of the Demecratic citizens of the
Con4onweatlll go to the polls, vl hen elec
tion di - ty comes round, and vote at random, !
1.
witli6 It plu , ,in;.-, to Consider for whom on
f- - ,r wl.at thevareVotin- , : Can it be won- i
deredi at heneeforth.l t hat disiciyal and in-!
Contraction.
' It seems to us, looking at things in a
plain common sense way, that contraction
is a financial duty at this time. Expan
sion is evil under which we stiffer.
It "cannot be remedied by withdrawing
the gcivernment greenbacks, because the
void would be immediately 'supplied by
bank piper. How, then, shall we an
contplish the object.
Firstl By universal retrenchment in
public-4nd private. As the speculators
have ni; up the prices ofnie'rything ruin
ously, I t us dispense with every article
we cau. and use as little as possible of
•I
what we must.
•
Second. By paying cash for what we
buy and i avoiding the tse of credit in any
,shape:
Third. By reduoing business gener
ally to cash basis, as a matter of present
unavoidlible necessity.
Fourth. By withlrawinsg capital from
all enterprises cf a recent or unestablisbed
charaoter, before a crash domes, when, it
i
will be mpossible to do so. This may
occasion= present sacrifice to' some extent,
but it,bad better be sustained now than
to wait Ana? it may be much greater.
Fifth By selling out of fancy stochs
zenerally and putting the money in gov
`ern men d bonds.
Sizthl By throC•ing into the market
at once Yil the gold hoarded or held, for
investment. If held much longer the
loss .~itl be serious. Within a year the
priceof r cold cannot fail to sink, one hun
dred iperi cent.
Sevoikh. By doing no building what-
leverti;nd .li:faking no improvements until
' the cost laborand materials shall fall.
The eoutry can do, without new .13uild.
curs Until this war is over.
. .
Eighth. By giving the government
secur,itit4 the preierence over all - their in
-1 vestments. They really are better, and
if nelv 4nterprises Lave tempted us by
larger J.4fits, the risk of ultimate loss is
not to.bei lest sight of.
What [shall we gain by these? We
shall:getlmore men for the army and more
Money ft 4 the treasury. We shall reduce
trade andfinance to a healthy emadition,
expldde the orperate bubbles which dis
tract e:vetytbing, and improve the prps
pecti- of 411 really sound and reliable con
rerns:---Voith ll iacrfcun. .
TEAR.—Wheu t used to
tend stor4 at the "Regulator." in Syra•
thelold Luau came round one day,
and
"Boys,the one who sells the most twixt
now agd christm.as, gets a vest pattern
as a brescht."
I‘lrpbe Iwo didn't work for that vest
pattern'. I tell you there were some tall
!stories'tolil in praise of goods just about
that time ; but the tallest talker and the
i one. who liad more cheek than any of us
was a cettirin Jonah Squires, who roomed
with we. Lie could talk a d..liar out of
.
a. man wh4 I . ntpudaa_to spend only a six
' penea ; ankl thb women—Lord bless you,
I—they jtist handed ' over their pecekt
lhooks to him and lot him lay cut what lie
•
liked, for him. •
Oue night Jonah welie tre up with—'
"'By J'Psl) ' fellow, it think that
ere 's get 4try cotton in it, I.will bring!
.down the dheep was cut. from and make i
him swear to his own wool ! wear
out either wore a pair of that kind of!
o' stuff myself for 'five years, •and they're'',
as good noir as when I first put 'em on !!
Take it •at thirty -`cents and I'll say you;
dont owe nao anything. Oh too dear?
Well, call it twenty-eight -cents. 'What!
d'yo say ? Shall I tear it. All right,
it's a barga.n.'
I could ;feel Jobab's hands playing
about the lied clothes for an instant, rip !
tear I w - entl something or another, and I
hid my head under the blankets, perfectly
convulsed ivith laughter, and sure, that
Jonah had 'torn the b beet from top to bet
toin. . IVlicln I woke up next morning I
found:=-ala.4 ! unkindest tear of all—lhat
the back ofmy night shirt was split from
tail to &Ala - band.
i
.UNANlM4S.—Lancaster townsuip,the.i
home - of 9e great Buchanan gave at
unanimous: hole for• the soldiers amend-1
meat at; the recent election. I. canvass
w
of the to ship immediately eceding
the election it was ascertained t two
votes' were against giving the soldier the
right to app.. These were Buchanan
and his. Irhilt coachman. The former
being unexpr , :ledly called to a copperhead I
conclave at Bedford Springs was unable
to attend thci polls, which the Irish coach
man did, but could not muster courage to
put in his vdte. He left the polls swear ; j
lug that ".AOsoriky wouid be au illigant I
connthry when the eager would have the
right to votti." We
. hope that the bob.
trotter's . disObedienee of his master's or- i
der will not lose him his situation
The
wool c
Is dead
Brick Poinerorei Cold.
THE SPIRAL "MOVE:IIEI , i LIAM."
I have been very sick. It was a cold.
A dab bad cod in 'de" ed. I name near
going for to quit.. It ,went'' so far down
the lane, it were a grave question Whether'
it were best to retrace or trace ahead. It
was our cold. I catighlit ever 'se easy.
The fire went out. The lamp,fiikered low.
The kitchen clock tolled the death of the
day as I told the girl.that I loved her.—
The clock struck as the idea stiruuk toe I
was getting cold. I told the girl 'eel , ' We
sot °a-the sofa. Said she, "Sit up Closer."
In her lap we laid enr head.' Who 'cared
for a little cold. We talked lots. 'We
talked low, because we were down stairs.
Leaught the cold, but 'not the girl. Then
I went to a doctor of physic; so i met-a
physic I How do you like that joke
He felt of my tongue and looked at my
pulse ; said I was sick. Told me to go
home, soak my feet, cover up in bed, eat
nothing for a week, and be ;well. Gave
him five dollars and saw my landlord.
Be said no deductions could be made on
board, so I couldn't follow the
advice. Then I saw another doctor. He
told' me to take two bottles Pf hot 'drops;
a bed-blanket covered with tunstard, and
go to bed. Told him I didn't wanta hot
drop till I dropped forever.. Told trim I
didn't Ivant to bo mustered in that Way.
Told him I didnt Want to go to bee Then
' I saw another Knight of the Scalpeil. It
was the same night that I saw him, the'.
f ile totd mei° take cod-liver oil andlion
ey. Told him thad no cod-liver. Then
he said I must efft cold tallew. Said I,
i"That never agrees with mei" Then ho
told me to eat fat beef. I him a
!- l itnbug, and went elsewhere. Thonglic
I'd, try the *cold water plan.. Eminent
hydrantopathist told me to soak my bead
in ice water ; seek my feet in ice -water;
sit in a barrel of . ice-water two hours ;
bathe my back in ice -water; eat pounded 3
ice till f sweat, and I'd feel better. 'Good.
way t,o get up a sweat, but then it would
have spoiled a skating pond to are—
done It.
Another doctor 'told me to use creinib
bells. Supposing he meaat,it deaf mid
dumb girl, I declined.
Another EsculapiaSitold me the Mince
: pathist style was all the rage.' Gare me
five thousand little pills marked A. Gave
me five thonsand more little pills, marked
B. Gave, me five thousand more little
pills, marked C. Told me take on'e pill
in a pail of rater every five minutes ; to
take another 'pill in two pails of Water --
every fear minutes. Told me to take
half of another pill in five pails of water
every two minutes. Took two pills and
went to the river. Hired a boy to dip
up and 'pear 'down. Emptied ; the river
in ten minutes.
.Changed my base to a
Ivoung lake and went Wt it agaia. Cold
impeove, that is, the . cold didn't
I improve me. ' Went home n!ad. Gave
114,000 pills 'to a chap who pilfered - chick-
I ens from the barn. He still lives. '
Another doctor told me to take calemel.
Another *told me to drink het whiskey.
flow do yon like that? Twoi good 'doe
tors. Glad I'met-a-physic in such spirits.
Sent Iwo barrels of whiskey to my room.
First tried a pint of hot whiskey. It
loosened my eyes. Then I tried 'a pint
of cold whiskey. It fixed them all right-
Then I moved with great vigilance upon
a plat of hot . whiskey. It loosened my
legs. Them I threw my left flank around
a pint of cold whiskey. Felt better. Then
I tried some hot whiskey. Fieedoctors.
Rather like them both. Trie4some more
cold whiskey. It effected my bea'd
whatly. Tried another pint u hot whis
key. Very fine doctors—know just how
_to cure a cold. Shall employ them by
the year. Tried tiro pinta of ;cold xvhis
key. Began to feel betier;l felt
,like
another man. Tried two pints more of
hot whiskey; felt like two other men.—
Fine, doctors ; I love them quitely: it pt
on with the Whiskey; felt like three or
four new men ; but them never liTed
such doctors. Tried half a:quart of bold
whiskey mixed with half a quart of hot
ditto; ditto always means whiskey. Felt
bettc.r; - felt like a company of Injw rocu
Tried to get in line; - formed initbe
of a bolo* '6 (pare on the floOr. Took
some more whiskey; don't itrember
whether it was hot or cold, or cold or hot.
felt much better. Passed vote of
thanks to the physicians; feltlbetter.--;
Drank to their health; got the whiskey
mixed. Felt like a brigade of new men.
Tried to surround my en - ethyl Moved
upon his works and he gave rc battle.
Took another , position. ThrettLy entire
!'corps to he front. Attaehmirthe cam-
Imissar: f camp, and took a pint of "Whitkey.
pris . Jner. Fine - doctors; like kifeir way .
1 -
in.r curing colds. A good wayl was five
'ldays proving it to be a teed why. Hair
pulled a little, but it 'Was on iiecount of
the cold. They - said I'd feel like a new
man, and I believe them. When you
have .a'cold-try the new style.
, Spii:itually, "Berolet, PdyEROY.
rs all feroit the
• S'•l is the priet-...
s k of Rhode Island
The Penn's R:11. cpm.pAny.'bas gicelY
45 ) 000 . to the Christian ConAwlezion.
TERII---$1.50 PER AtTNIIM.
II