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VOL. X.-.NO. 25.]
SHERIFF CANDIDATES.
%Watt ICF JOLTY .
To the Free and Independent
Voters of Adams County.
FELLOW CITIZENS:
Through kind persuasions from
many of my friends, I have been induced to
(Air myselfas a candidate for the
Office of Sr'eci•ill;
at thi ensuing Election, and respectfully
solicit your votes. And should Ibe so for
tunate as to receive your confidence, by be
ing elected to that Mlle°, I pledge myself to
discharge the duties of the office with fideli
ty and impartiality.
FREDERICK DIEHL.
Franklin township,
March 19,1839. S
AILATIE
GEORGE W.. M'CLELLAN •
• Returns his sincere thanks 'to his
trichtils and the public iu general, for placing
him on the returns with the present and
former Sheriff, and again offers himseh
once more ns a candidate for the
Office of Uherifi;
at the ensuing Election. Should ho be
honored with their confidence in placing
him in that office, no exertion on his part
shall bo wanting to a faithful discharge of
the duties of that important trust.
• March 19,1839. to-51
FOB. PROTHONOTARY
C Lilza D .
ip MENDS having announced my name
AL . to the Voters of Adams county for
the oirico . of Register and Recorder, 1
would tahiti the liberty respectfully to offer
toyself.a c4ndidato for the Office of Pro
thonotary ; and solinit.the suffrages of the
public.. •
AMOS MAGINLY.
Fairfield, April to-1
To tile - Freemen .o - siainus
FELLOW CITIZENS :
I offer myself to your consideration
i n
fo' s the ofliee of PROTIIGNOTARY, at
- t nsutt , election--should I be so for
, ate as to lecetve a ' majority of your
votes, I pledge myself to discharge the du
tics to the best of my ability.
JOEL B. DANNER.
Gettysburg, Juno 24, 1830. tf-13
FOR REGISTER & RECORDER.
To tlxe, 'Voters of. .Sitio*As
t omit 1 .
FELLOW CITIZZIVS:
IfOffer myself to your consideration as a
candidate for the offices of Resister and
Recorder, at the ensuing election.
Having, from practical experience acqut
red n perfect knowledge of the duties of
those oflices,l hope if elected, to be able to
do the business promptly, correctly and in
person.
The Public's Humble Servant,
WILLIAM KING.
Gettysburg, Feb. 26, 1839. te-48
To the Independent Voters of
Adams County.
FELLOW—CITIZENS:
I ufrer myself to your consideration,
at tho ensuing General Election, as a can.
tlidate for the offices of Register 4' Record.
er: And pledge myself, if elected, to dis
charge the duties of those offices with fi
deli!), and promptitude.
JACOB LEFEVER.
March 10, 1539. to-51
FOR CLERK OF 'THE COURTS
To the 1 - sitlepepulent Voters of
Minns County.
FELLOW CITIZENS
I offer myself to your consideration
as a candidate for the Office of Cle►ks of
the several Cotirts at the next General
Election. Should Ibe so fortunate as to
he elected, I pledge myself to discharge
the duties of the Office faithfully.
• THOMAS M'CREARY.
Straban Township, July 30. 18-to
To . the Voters of Atoms County.
FELLOW CITIZENS :
I oiler myself' to your consider
ation as a candidate for Clerk of the Courts,
'at the ensuing election, being well acquaint
ed with the business of said ollices t I. shall
endeavor to discharge the duties thereof
with
S. R. RUSSELL.
Gettysburg, July 23, 1A39. tf-17
LaWNOTIECE.
C. BAS . 7.'.
W ILL practice Law in the several
Courts of Adonis County—office in
-Cliambershurg Street, one door west of Alr.
Buehler's Store.
Cottysburg, April 30,1539.
Office of the Star & Banner :
Chambersburg Street, a fcw doors Wcst
the Court-Hottee.
I. The STill & REPUBLICAN BANNZIL is pub
Isbed at TWO DOLLARS per annum (or Vol
ume of 52 numbers,) payable boll -yearly in ad
vance: or TWO DOLLARS-& FIFTY CENTS,
if not paid until after the expiration of the year
11. No subscription w ill be received fur a shorter
period than six months; nor will the paper be dis
continnea until all arrearages are paid, unleis at
the option of tho Editor. A failure to notify a dis
continuanca will be considered a new engagement
and the paper forwarded accordingly.
AnvcnTranirs:vvs not exceeding a square
will be inserted Tenn: times for $l, and 25 cents
for each subsequent insertion—the number of in
sertion to be marked, or they will be published till
forbid and charged accordingly; longer ones in
the same proportion. A reasonabledcduction will
be made to those who advertise by the year.
IV. All Lettersand Communications addressed
to the Editor by mail must be post-paid, or they
will not be attended to
THE GARLAND
—"With sweetest flowergenrich'il ,
From various gardens cull'd with care."
The Slumber of Death.
Peaceful and fair is the smiling repose
That the breast cradled slumber of infancy knows;
Sound is the rest of the weary ann worn,
Whose feet have been galled with the duet and
the thorn.
Sweet is the sleep on the eyelids of youth,
When they dream of the world as ull pleasure and
truth ;
Tot child, pilgrim. you shall awaken again _
To the journeys of toiland the trials of pain.
But oh ! there's ti fast and ft visionless sleep,
The cairn and the stirleas, the long and the deep ;
'Tis the sleep that is soundest and and sweetest
of all.
No voice of the foo or the friend Oran impart;
The proud flush to the check or warm throb to
the heart ;
Tho lips of the dearest may seek for the breath,
But their kiss cannot rouse the cold stiluess of
death. .
'Tis Itrii; T titin 'tis I heauilful rei.t, - -
When all sorrow has passed from. dou brow and
the breast;
And the lone spirit truly and wisely arty crave
The sleep that is dreamless—•the sleep of the grave
FEMALE MUTABILITY.
"Pique her and soothe by turns, soon passion
crowns thy hopes." Bvno r•
I gave her a rose—and I gave her a ring,
And I asked her to marry me then :
Dut she sent them all back—the insensible thing,
And said she'd no notion of men.
I told her I'd oceans of money and gocda,
And tried her to fright with a growl,
But She - rinziWer'd she wasn't brought up in the
woods,
To be scared with the shade of an owl.
I called ber a baggage and every thing bad—
I slighted her features and form,
Till at length I succeeded in getting her mad,
And she raged like the sea in a Mora: :
And then in a moment I turned and a - mini,.
And I call'd her my angel and all,
And she fell in my arms like a wearisome child,
And exclaimed— , 6 We will marry next
ma.oo2ll:alito:. - t)TLII0
From the New York Whig.
MY PRETTY COUSIN.
My pretty Cousin is not like other cous
ins. She is the queen of cousins, being at
once the' most agreeable, cruel, and unman•
ageable of all, the prettiest and most dung.
orous ; the liveliest and most witty ; and is,
besides, such a conceited little prude as nev
er lived before, whose fanciful, mischief lov-
ing disposition, has intimidated and subdued
the country beaux for miles around. She is,
moreover, a capricious tyrant, wilful and
obstinate, and sways the sceptre of her pow.
er with no unsparing hand. Hot admirers
—slaves would say—thouth thele ribs
have ached and smarted with the thump of
more than one of Cupid's shells, though
their hearts, bristling with his barred ar
rows, pierced and riddled in every direction,
still flutter round tho light that scorcher
them, attracted, enchained by eyes that
melt with gazing and fire you with their fire.
See, how fond the Balmy elf is of tenzing
with such show of mellow lips, that hang
like golden fruit to be plucked by the first
bold hand; pouting to you temptingly ; woo•
ing, inviting ; and when you would. ) hissto to
press them to your own, they arrest you
with such an air of offended delicacy, that
you dare go no further, lest the Puritan box
your ears.
All cousins are not so. While they hang
their heads in delicious confusion and sulliir
one to do what ho will with their lips, she
will bo tugging at your whiskers, or what is
more to be dreaded,will,withono fell swoop,
smash Iho spotless unNriukled bosom, that
is so magi" arrayed behind the - vest that
gives it protection. None of that devoted
train yet had sufficient audacity to steal a
ItiSs. Poor souls! Was it that theyteor••
ed they might disarrange the hair that they
had spent so much time in - brushing and tor
taring into sleekness'! Or, were they. con
tent to- plod along m the same everyday
employment of sighing for paradise, and,
though lb) , gazed on it through their eyes,
dared not reach forth n hand and cuter with
the seal upon her lipsl
ROBERT S. Pa1iT0.4 4 5 EDITOR •IXD IPROP'.RIETOR.
esat - Litelrapwzaku.niardarima ww.Paizaatztaza mug.
So stood the besoiged and beseiging, When
a city cousin arrived; and thus found Har
ry Hosmer the petty kingdom my pretty
Cousin had founded. He was worth win
ning; he was a fine npfniaring fellow; was
a true gentleman; could dance, ride, sing,
and make love, sonnets to admiration; and
was, all in ell,whata handsome lady of eigh
teen would love to see at her feet. Wilt
we be justified in saying that the same mo
tive, that influenced her actions towards
others, moved her to the concentration of
all her art, cunning and powers, to batter
the heart of the city cousin? No. There
Was a more powerful inducement here. It
was not love, but something very akin to it,
for what country belle can see such ad Har
ry, one so superior to the restofthe throng
that surrounds her ' Mid not feel a 'greater
emotion, a More than common flutter when
he approaches her 1
Her plans were laid. His Itet)rt was rm•
ned, assaulted, and attacked in every possi
ble shape„ He remained firm,unconquered,
nor did any subsequent movement dislodge
him from his situation. His deportment
was always the same, and not all her skill
at man.subjection could draw from him
more than that familiar, gentlemanly carri
age, which acquainted her with the freedom
of his heart and the failure of her plans.—
She was piqued. Whist a cold, senseless
thing this cousin is! Pe h aw ! I won't trou
ble myself more with the ill-mannered bear.
fle isn't worth the pains ono takes to make
him like people.
She, however, did not adhere•to this very
wise conclusion. The next day another at
tack, a general assault was directed against
the citadel, and she endeavored to carry all
before her by storm; but he, that had so
long been impregnable toso many city war
fares, led on too, by the brightest eyes that
flashed in our land, was still the sante cousin
I larry Ilosiner from the city. And the on
ly foil he used,, and that which he played
with surprising advantage, was the name of
another city cousin, a defence -that surpris
ed, while it was., a counter-attack that dis
concerted her.
111 y pretty cousin had (idled. In her-en
deavors to subdue the heart of her cousin.
she had forgot to guard her own, nor did
she know-that it was already in the posses.
sion of another. She was cross. She could
hardly beat that he should be in her pre
sence, and was unhappy when he was out
of sight. If he was pleasant or laughed, he
was ridiculing her unhappiness and rejoic
ing over her discomfiture. If he was sad
and sober, he was thinking of the hated
cousin he kit behind in the
, •Nly -ideas Cousin, you cannot imagine
with what feelings of pleasure I shall pre.
sent your beautiful cousin to you. She is
such a divine creature," exclaimed lie, one
.day, after dwelling unusually long upon tier
beauty and learning. "She is perfection 1"
Clara pouted and picked the leaves of a
rpse he had just plucked for her,.and crush.
ed them with her foot.
"Yon will be delighted to see her - , she is
so kind and gentle. It will tie impossible tb
be near hos and not like her."
"And do you like her, cousin Harry ?"
risked she in a low, heSitating voice, as it
afraid to ask what might be unpleasant to
her: ,
"Like tier I—we love her—every body
does."
The rose was suddenly (Milled on the
floor, her indignant toot stamped upon it,
and she arose and hastily • walked to the .
window.
"Why, coz, what ails thee?" said Harry
without rising, as he swung a chair care
lessly
round en one leg, while he commenc
od whistling n lively air.
She was loaning against the side of the
window with her fotohend pressed against
the glass. She did not answer. Nothing
is more galling to a woman, than to hear
the praises of a rival from the lips of one
she loves. Clara was piqued; she was of
fended, angry. , She could hardly bear her
feelings, for she pictured her happy cousin
basking in the sunshine of his love, and then
she thought of herself, neglected and un
loved, and her breast heaved with feelings
sho ill could bear.
"Is my cousin unwell?"
She was silent.
"Bless me! you have not forgot the use
of that'tongue that used to ivtig so gaily ?"
No' answer.'
Harry arose and walked toe window.
He gently , pulled the hand thdf lk suppOrted
her head, from her face. She was weep.
•The day after he departed for New York.
'His horse was at the door, his foot was in
the stirrup; and he had thrice bid "good
bye" to his friends, but he lingered, for their
ought to be another among them. He
scanned their faces, he watched each win
dow; she was not there. Once more he
took leave, and stopped again to see if - Clara
was there. He turned disappointed, and.
laid his hand upon the saddle. A hand
touched his shoulder, and a low voice whis
pered; "ousin Harry, good bye!"
'
He. turned and me! the gaze of Clara.—
She Was pale. She held her hand to him,
ariajUidrew herfloo him, and "pressed his
lips te _he'r'a. Tfiere:.was perhaps too much.
mairathi,in that kiss, that mingled its fire
with' the paler of her check. Or, was it
that his hand held her's too closely locked?
"Good bye, my sweet cousin," said he
gaily, as he vaulted in the saddle. "Re
member my promise of coming again this
fall with your cousin Julia,. wnom I intend
you shall be so delighted with that you will
not care to part with her. And I give you
warning, take care lest yOu are taken by
surprise; she carries all belbre her."
"I will4tot promise to like her, Ilarry,"
said elle.'
Cprj FEARLES 8 ANh FitEE..4.4
I wjll not say what image was ever pre.
sent to her mind until he returned, because
the reader already knows. Neither do we
lova to speculate upon the state of Harry's
l i no,. We don't know much about this city
eousin yet, farther than it appears that he
is very fond of talking about her, and that
is not proof positive that he is in love with
her. • People do not talk most of those they
love, My pretty Cousin's beauty had cer
tainly struck him at first; he was pleased
with• her lively humor and wit ; he felt the
influence of her eyes ; but he was deterrinn
ed to curb that proud spirit that marred all
her better qualities, and exterminate'her
petty passion for coquetry.
'Site had failed once in her long career of
%Varriugogninst hearts. It was a signal de
teat:, i - • Wes it her fault.? Was she growing
old'...llinnitiel'.2,3l,i(l - I)o._,ttve.ti . ..l,: . §‘,ie
flew 'to the glass. , Noe This ,
as eiter.; these eyes are as bright ; this neck
as white; this bust .rts full androunded;
thislviist as taper, and this' form•has lost
none of its fulness.
eShe—who is She? this Phennix,
Some city Miss with' enough gold
to 'nutilie a dash and &mile his eyesi: crook
ed, perhaps—yes, crooked and well padded
too; tall and lean—humph, lame and de
ceitl47 'Tis straege,"'tis very strang6"
said she, as she stood and surveyed-herself
before the faithful
_Mirror. • •
Fall came., add When - ir e?l.l.r2...tind the city
cousin. They arrived late.
evening, and stripped at the village hotel:
It • was too late to sco • their friends • that
night, -added to which 'the inhabitants still
-adhered to that good old custom of keeping
Saturday night. Next' day, trrn., in arm;
they went to .thurch and sat in t 1 pew where l i
Clara could see them. Site vire : Prcety;
Clara confessed it to herself. reeked she
mighit be called beautiful, .but that she was
too pale. flow tall 1 how maj'stie she is
Bat bold How confidently she bears upon
his arm I Would that right for cousins?
She forgot hew shat i she- so.—
They sing out 44' thsisante, book, their
hands touch, and their. breath does mingle.
How.tenderly ho folds the. shawl urouud.her
neck! 'flie jadel • she smiles on him. N
Wonder he sh.mld be so fond of her; when
she Can 'smilirso swecitly. - Poor Clara ! she
sought her lied that night with an itching
and dreamed of Chiggers the whole
night long.
If she had been engaged with her out
ward clothing",- how much more Was she
with her inward qualities. Though she
hieked upon Julia as a rival, it was impoe
..i.t.We to epprone:Wher nert not feel interested;
Her sweet disposition, ctirh - e - Fitii - grigiiig
mariners secured the attention and respect,
but not the love of Clara. She was a suc
cessful rival; Clara could not brook that.
Where rivalry exists, there is no love.
One everting Harry was alone with her.
Julia had just been with them. Clara sat
pensive and thoughtful. •
think Clare's thoughts, like her heart,
is with some favored lover, whom adverse
fortune has parted front his ladye love,' and
cost into other lands. Or, perhaps the little!
plaintive song Julia has just sung, awakens
sad feelings. How is it, Clara?"
“I think, it you remember any thing till
you die, it will bo the name of Julia. You
arc forever talking about her and her sing
in.—such divine music! Pshaw I”
• "And why not 1 Who can listen to such
an angelic being, and not break into rap
tures with her heavenly music."
“Sure, I have heard better,” said she pet
tishly.
"And then to think of her sweetness o
disposition, her kindness, her benevolence,
her heauty—"
—"Her sparkling wit, her learning—
all these joined in one person, in Julia, she
whom all love—"
She bitched•away her chair and looked
hard, very hard at the well post through
the window. What could be so very at:
tractive in that old ricketty piece,of wood 1
"Sho whom we adore-----"
He stopped. He heard a sob.
"Clara. Cousin Clara!" said ho, going to
her and seating himself by her.
"Stand off, sir!" exclaimed she, suddenly
rising and stepping into the middle of the
.room. Her eyes, though wet with tears,
flashed with excitement. Her bosom heav
ed and swelled with offended. prides, •
"You are a cold, heartless man. You
ask others to sing, hot me never ; you walk,
and laugh and ride with that Julia, but nev
er ask rao ; Sou dance all night with her,
while I eit alone in a corner ; you sing with
her, go, to church with her, and I am left
at home. You may go back to New York
with your beautiful cousin—l'll never speak
to you again. You are no cousin of mine
—you are a senseless, rude, good•for•noth
ing brute. You are the worst, the ugliest,
the most hated—ugh ! you beast."
She flung out of the room, leaving Harry
transfixed with astonishment. He went
away With a serious face. .
That afternoon Clara sat in a rustic bow.
or in her father's garden. She was pale
and unhappy.. She did not observe two per
sona walking that way until they entered
where. she Was. Harry advanced leading
the smiling Julia by the hand.
"You knew this lady only as your cousin.
I come now to acquaint you with the rela
tion she` bears to me. In Julia Hesmer,
you see your'cousin, and my sister."
.."Your sister !" cried she, eagerly spring
ing forward.
"Your cousin and my sister, sweet coz."
'You won't go back to-morrow, will you?'
asked she ; slipping, an arm around Julia.
"Ask my bri.ther,” replied site Smiling.
Clara paused a moment. 'llea, with a
crimson check and faltering step, bhu ap-
Clara sat uneasy.
proached Harry, and, passing her arm
around his neck, looked tp into his face
with those melting eyes, that flashed so sure
of victory.
"Cousin !" said she. "Yod will not go
so soon 1"
We are informed by his sister, that Har
ry hung long over her, looking into her
deep eyes as though' he would fill his soul
with their beaming glances of love and con
fidence, and did not offer to•disturb the arm
that rested on his neck, for fear those glow
ing lips beneath his own should be removed.
"Clara,.you have conquered. .I should
indeed be a senseless piece of mortality to
go, when such eyes as yours coax me to
910 V and taste such tempting fruit as this."
He did stay and Inn. When - next he
!aft the village, Julia was not tlto onlylone '
u•ent)vitliliini, nor Harry all that calk.
I'd ter
Tat7:3l)= - ?. CTOMV.
BY G. P. R..m.mr.s.
Abstractedly speak ing,there are few thitip:
if, ntiy,.in all that .portiory of tbe_ uniirerss
which- is exposed to the eyes
.of mah,-; so
grand, so nighty in beauty, so magnifient
in splerider. as a great thunder. sinini, Tito
feeble and impotent contention cif man with
man, oven upon the grandest scale, idfain
to borrow. the clon ,- ly war of the E toriir•iirtrir
ges to give it grandeur..'' - We heat- the ifiwp ,
der of the catmen.lof the lightning flush Ad'
lie Artillery- But what is it all tn•the real
itY...ftlr
e..ct.!•th from the eland. bursts .tiro
deutenin votetr,Lo
ie. - storm upon. the .ear,
and upon the
. eye fl as h
of the !even bolt: of heaven? NrUg......4. 1 11:
we. produce lights like' that, casting their
splendor from• one verge of heaven to the
other? where shall we find sounds so magr
nificent, so grand, rolling along the- whole
vault from the zenith :o the hot tzar)? ,Net
there are few persons who view a thunder
storm with the slum feelings; tied,' lade^d,
the dtarences of human cllaracter are tried
by scarcely anything more finely,, than -by
therrensalione produced upon the mind .by
that. phenomenon. There are. ninny who
are terrified; and that terror mtiv proceed
from a thousatuLotlior cau'ies (lam mew,
mental %Takla-sq. There : are solo s
have boon taught, fear irrerr:Cdirthly
youth: There are Some, scarcely : - afraid.
but nwe-etruck' and overpowered. ..Tin!rn
are others, again, who • have neither fear,
nor awe, nor admiration, the dull lakrio-of
whose minds is incapable of any fine Ouse
tem. There are . some who' de_rnerii, and
admire it simply for its grandeur there.are .
others who d0..-So liketVise, ; hut go far :ha
things, who hear tongued like those of an
gels in the voice of the thunder, and who
gaze upon the blaze of the lightening, light
ed by its splendor to far faint visions of Al-
Mighty power and majesty.
MILITARY ANECDOTE. —We heard the
late General Riney relate the, following
anecdote in the course of a speech which
he made at a public • meeting in this city
some years ago. ‘V hile.the British army
was beseiging Fort Erie,. during the last
war, it occurred to General Mows, who
commanded the garrison, that
. 11 story mighi
be made to advantage and the enemy assai ,
led behind his works. The garrison accor
dingly marched out with the gallant BroWil
at their bead, and drove the enemy from
their batteries with dreadful slaughter, and
with considerable loss on their own side.—
Ripley, while bravely leading his brigade
to the assault, received a musket ball thin'
the ,neck, which struck him to the earth,
and ho thought himself mortally r wounded.
He soon became insensible. When lie came
to, ho found. himself proceeding towards the
fort in a litter, carried on the shoulders of
some of his own soldiers. On the way they
decreed a party of the enemy approaching.
One of the party who was ail Irishman, cri
ed out "Yonder are the red coats!:—our
general shall not be taken—let us put him
down and form at his side to protect' him."
The noble suggestion of this brave Irish
man was instantly adopted and executed.—
They presented a front, and waited for the
enemy to come up. Fortunately it turned
out that the latter were a detachment who
had become bewildered, and were endeavor.
ing to find their way to their own corps.—
Though much. more numerous than the
small squad that accompanied General Rip
ley, that had no notion of acting on. the of
fensive,. and alter stopping n moment to re.
connoitre, they filed off in an opposite direc.
don.
_General Ripley declared that the tone
and bearing of the 'rill' soldier made an im
pression 'von his mind which never could
be efThced. It was in all probability to the
manly and daring measure which he recom•
mended to his comrades that the general
owe 4 his being saved from captivity.
N. Orleans Lou.
READ IT 51 MIDI; STRATI= & WIIISIIEE•
11AND.Q.-7A correspondent of the Philadel
phia U. S. Gazet to, from Cape Island's fa
shionable place of great resort for the Phila
delphians, says that the vehicles used there,
for the purpose of riding out are Jersey wag
gons, and that the farmers there turn hack
men. The writer remarks his party had
observed a silly, upstart fellow, a passenger
in a neighboring vehicle, whom he knew to
be illy able to afford, honestly, his board
charges at tho hotel, be-ratitn7 e . his driver in
a rude manner, for some slight of disre•
specs—remarked, "That young man little
thinks that his driver, instead of 'ricking a
bout here, could give his team away, and
set Off on a year's tour in Europe, without
feeling the expense."
How often is it the case, that a young
upstart whose tailor's bill remains unpaid,
when array from hone, puts on tho most
[WHOLE NO: 403.
consequential airs, and almost quarrels with
those who could buy him, both body and
soul, (to use a strong expression,) because
I they will not bow down to him as a superior
being. A rough exterior often confines a.
noble heart, as a plain coat often conceals et
heavy purse. An anecdote in point: The
tato Wm. Gray, of Boston, one of the rich
est men in the country dressed very plain
and or, going Into the market.one morning,
a young merchant asked hit tozarry home.
some meat, which Mr. Gray readily agreed
to - do. On delivering it, the young mer.
chant tendered him a piece of silver which
he accepted . with a thank'ee telling him
when he wanted any more brought home to
cell on “Billy. Gray!" The young Mere
chant felt humbled, and resolved. to Wee
marketing home himself hereafter.
&Mina anii
. • .
Mr. Doncenis Citii - 6i'dit.,nb - tilitionist or*
hypeerit—he may take either horn of thot
dilommn.—:-Nezobern Sentinel.
Lot him take both. - He is never satisfied :I
with tithing one "horn" when he coilgel
t wo.—Pren 'zee. •
A • military chaplain had . became Seik
shamefully drunk at the mess on a Erittii‘
day night, that direr" or fedi of thesOat
remaining, were obliged to carry him.home.
On the following morning, to, the astookilt;
aunt of his dear companions, he -took the
following text :
“A, drunkard Shall not inherit the king
doM of heavene and handlqd the subject
with all the eloquence and pathos of a saint.
During the oration, some, of the young ones
greatest difficulty to restrain their
risible - mt.: e l m , and, meting the reverend
gemlematt offer .the sermon, ono of them
said: • -
"My dear doctor, you have astonised the
whole regiment this morning by the beat".
aul sermon on drunkenness, the lakt'lsti=
mon in the world we should have' seitMtett
you would have fouched upon.",'
"My detir fellow," calmly 'refilled the dip
vine, if . you had such a d—d . headitChe
as I have, you would preach against it joio
OLD MAIN.
We are inclined to believe that many or
satirical aspersions cost upon old minds
tell Morecto their credit thin is generally
interlined: Is a woman remarkable' neat in
her person, "'she will certainly' die. an old
maid." • Is ;:she particularly reserved to.
ward the other sex, "she has all the squaw+ ,
fellness of an old maid." Is she 'frugal .ia
bur e:trenttes and eXac.t in her doinestic
cuacerlig.,-04441.ia ~( 31-on"
And if she is kindly humane to the animalei
about her, nothing can save her from the
appellation of "en old maid." In short 'we
have always- found that neatness, modesty,
cconomy and humility,:are the never failing
characteristics of that terrible creature as
.'old maid." •
"DELAr . IS DA Nt/ ER 0 WO- May is . con
sidered by the supenititious as. an unlucky
month to marry, °rota the Scotch Say, "tin'.
cannie." A lady who_ was' courted. in
April, being solicited by her lover to name
the day of the following month for the wed.
ding, replied that May was an unfortunate
month, and on being-asked to name it la
June, asked if April would'iit suit just. an
well! . •
Flirtation in a women is equal to libertin
ism in a man : it manifests the same loose
principles, only restrained by the usages of
the world from devolving itself in a similar
way.,
SELF-TottNENT.—More than hail the suf
fering in this world is self.ioflicted. Pea.
ple raise evils until they lash themselves in
to bona fide despair. •
It is bad enough when men agree to cheat
each other, but to call in the lawyers to,
cheat both parties is a groat deal worse.
A western editor, after announcing his;
own marriage, says that "accidepts will hap..
pen in the best regulated families."
We once knew a man, who, on his return..
from a public meeting, burst open his door
in a rage, upset his children, kicked. his
dog, hurled his hat behind the grate,. and
paced. the apartment back. and forth like ti„
'citafed. liner. , ‘‘.lNbat is, : the • matter, my
dear?" said his wondering-wife..
"Matter!" roared the alloy busluind,
"matter enough I Neighbor B. lias public
ly called me a liar I". .
"Oh, never mind that my dear," replied
the good woman, ' he can't proye it, and
you know nobody will believi him."
"Prove it, you fool I" roared the mad man
more furiously than before, he did prove it 1
lie brought witnesses, and proved it on the
apotl Else how could
,1 be in such a
height of passion?" The argument was a,
poser.
TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROHS are iometitnesr
very amusing. We once read, in an Eng
lish paper, an account of a fashionable par- ,
ty, at which one of the moss distinguishe4
persons present was the "Duke of Pork." - --.
A city paper reports the ;seol.lit of coon
won Fleas," and a Southern paper contains.
an account of an "Atrocious Behheryt'l
A Teacher.—A teacher 'one day endea
voring to make, a pupil understand the na.
ture and application of the passive verb,said
to him, t!.A. passive verb expressos the re
ceiving of action, as Peter is beaten I . now
what did Peter. dot" The numscull paws•
ed a moment, and scratching his bud by;
way of aiding thought, with the gravest
countenance imaginable. replied, "Wall I
don't kr:a?, without he goturaio r 4.