Huntingdon journal. (Huntingdon, Pa.) 1843-1859, June 15, 1859, Image 1

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_tivattngboll ,o/virtmil,
1 . 1 . ...„ ,
Scrofula, or King's Evil,
a constitutional disease, a corruption of the
blood, by which this fluid becomes vitiated,
weak, and poor. Being in the circulation, it
pervades the whole body, and may burst out
in dinese on any part of it. No organ is free
from Its attacks, nor is there one which it may
not destroy. The scrofnlous taint is variously,
caused by mercurial disease, law living, dis
ordered or unhealthy food, impure air, filth
and filthy habits, the depressing vice., and,
above all, by the venereal infection. What
ever be it. origin, it is hereditary in the con
stitution, descending from parents to children
unto tho third and fourth generation ;" indeed,
It seems to be the rod of Him who says, 4.1
will visit the iniquities of the fathers upon
their children."
Its effects commence by deposition from the
blood of corrupt or ulcerous matter, which, in
the lunge, liver, and internal organs, is termed
tubercles; in the glands, swellings; and on
the surface, eruptions or sores. This foul cor
ruption, which genders in tho blood, depresses
the energies of life, so that scrofulous constitu
tions not only suffer from scrofulous com
plaints, but they hove far less power to with
stand the attacke of other diseases; conse
quently, vast numbers perish by disorders
'which, although not scrofulous in their nature,
are still rendered fatal by this taint in the
system. Most of the consumption which do
dmates the human family has its origin directly
in this scrofulous contamination ; and many
destructive diseases of the liver, kidneys, brain,
and, indeed, of all the organs, arise from or
are aggravated by the same cause.
One quarter of all our people are scrofulous;
their persons aro invaded by this lurking in
fection, and their health is undermined by it.
To cleanse it front the system we must renovate
the blood by an alterative medicine, and in
vigorate it by healthy food and exercise.
Suoh a medicine we oupply in
Compound Extract of Sarsaparilla,
alto meet effectual remedy which the medical
skill of our times can devise for this every
whore prevailitug and fatal malady. It is com
bined from the most active retnedials that have
been discovered for the expurgation of this foul
disorder from the blood, and the rescue of the
Bratom front its destructive consequences.
Hence it should he employed for the cure of
not only scrofula, but also those other affec
tions which arise from it, such as Eau rive
and SIN Dummies, Sr. ANTHONY'S Fine,
Items, or Enxstrar..ts, Pittetts, PUSTULES,
Timmins, B LAI. and Boit% Tomorts, Terrtu
sind SALT Runr,r, Settn Ifr.An, lirsowonn,
RHIHIMATISM, B:mune and Menet:mm.l3es-
Indeed, ALL COMPLAINTS spisixo rum VIVA.
con on Ixrcut BLOOD. The popular belief
In " impurity of the blood" is founded in truth,
fate scrofula is a degeneration of the blood. 'The
perticular purposo and yit so.
1..... tn.•ss. l 46, ....,senorate this rum stui
without Wide , . sound health is impossible in
contaminated constitutions.
Ayer's Cathartic Pills,
are so composed that disease within the range of
their action can rarely withstand or evade them
Their penetrating properties search, and cleanse,
and invigorate every portion of the human organ.
tem, recreating Its diseased notion, and restoring
tee healthy vitalities. Ae a consequence of these
properties, the invalid who is bowed down with
pain or physical debility is astonished to find his
health or energy restored by a remedy at once so
simple and inviting.
Not only do they cure the every-day complaints
of every body, but also many formidable and
dangerous dictates. The agent below named is
pleased to furnish gratis my American Almanac,
containing certificates of their cures and directions
her their use in the following complaints: Costive
ness, Heartburn, Headache arising from disordered
Stomach, Nausea, Indigest ion, Pain in and Morbid
Inaction of the Bowels, Flatulency, Loss of Appe
tite, Jaundice, and other kindred complaints,
arising from a low state of the body or obstruction
of its functions.
Ayer's Cherry Pectoral,
FOR Tn. unpin cone or
Coughs, Colds, Influenza, Hoarseness,
Croup, Bronchitis, Incipient Consump.
Hon, and for the relief of Consumptive
Patients in advanced stages of the
go wide is the field of its usefulness and so nu
merous are the cases of its cures, that almost
every section of country abounds in percent pub
licly known, who have been restored from alarming
and even desperate diseases of the lunge by its
use. When once tried, its superiority over every
other medicine of its kind is too apparent to escape
observation, and where its virtues are known, the
public no longer hesitate what antidote to employ
for the distressing and dangerous affections of the
vimonary organs that are incident to our climate.
While many inferior remedies thrust upon the
community have failed and been discarded, this
has gained friends by every trial, conferred benefits
on the afflicted they can never forget, and pro
duced cures too numerous and too remarkable to
be forgotten.
DR. J. C. AYER & CO.
Jon,: READ, Agent Huntingdon, Pa.
Nov. 1 1 558.--ly.
$4O 00
Pays fur a full course in the Iron City College,
the largest, most extensively patronized and
best organized School in the Unitod States.
887 students attending daily,
March, 1859.
Usual time to complete a lull retire, from
to 10 weeks. Every Student, upon graduating
is guaranteed to be competent to manage the
BoOks of any Business, and qualified to earn a
salary of front
$5OO to $lOOO.
Students enter at any time—No Vacation—
Eerie w pleasure.
51 Premiums for best Penmanship
awarded inISSS.
lifirMinistdis Son received at half price.
For Circular and Specimens of Writing, in
close two letter stamps, and address
F. W. JENKINS, Pittsburgh.
*WS. bi. PETTBNOILL & CO.'S Adver
tising Agency, 119 Nassau 'St., New York, a;
10 State St., Boston. S. N. Pettengill & Co.
are the Agents for the "JoosNat." and the most
influential and largest eireulatlng Newspapers
its the United States and the Canadas. They
are authorized to contract for us at our lower
VW 5000 AGENTS WANTED—To sell 4 new
inventions. Agents have made over $25,000
on one,--better than all other similar agencies.
Send four stamps and get 80 pages particulars,
gratis. EPHRAIM BROWN, Lowell, Mass.
All kindg of blnolot for male at the
learns] olllee.
I've wandered east, I've wandered west,
Through many a weary way ;
Sot never, never ran forget
The love o' young day I
The fire that's blawn on Beßene e'en,
May wool be black gin Yule,
But blacks, fa' remains the heart
Where first fond hive grows cool.
0 dear, dear Jeanie Morrison,
The thochts o' bygane years
Still fling their shadows ower my path,
And blind my eon with tears.
They bl.nd my eel, wi' snot, sant tears,
And snir and sick I pine,
As memory idly summons up
The blith blinks o' lung sync.
'Twas then we luvit ilk ithec weal,
"I'was then we ton did part ;
Sweet time—sad time l twit bairns at sehule,
Two bairns, and but ae heart I
'Twas then we sat on no laigh kink,
To lair ilk ither Tear ;
And tones, and looks, nod smiles wore shed,
Remembered evermair.
I wonder, Jeanie, often yet,
When sitter of that oink,
Cheek tot:chin' cheek, loot' locked it: tool,
What our wee heads could thick ?
When IWO: bent dour ower no braid page,
Wi' ae bake on our keen,
Thy lips were on thy lesson, but
My lesson was in thee.
Oh, mind ye how we hung our heads,
llow cheeks brent red wi' shame,
Whene'er the liClll, weans laughite said,
We choked thegither hame ?
And mind ye o' the Satu.days,
(The scale then skaili at noon)
When we ran nfl' to spent the braes—
The broomy braes o June ?
My head ries routed and round about,
My heart flows like a sea ;
As roe by ILIIC the thuchts nab back
0' srule time, and o' thee.
Oh, inornin' bile ! oh, morniti luve !
Oh, lichtseme days and tang,
When hinnied hopes mound our hearts
Like simmet blossoms sprang !
Oh, mind ye luve, Low aft we left
The denvin' dinsome hem,
To wander by the green burnside,
A.nd hear its water croon ?
The simmer leaves hung ewer our heads,
The flowers ber,:t round our feet,
And in the gloamin' o' the wood,
The throssil whuslit sweet !
Tho thlossil the IVUOII,
Awe. with nature's heart in tulle,
Concert,' harmonies ;
And on the knowe a bone the burn,
For Lours thegither snt,
In the silentness o' joy, till bath
Wi' very gladness ;rat.
Ave, nye, dear Jeanie Morrison,
Tears trickled doun your cheek,
Like dewthends on a rose, vet mute
Had oily power to speak
That was a time, n blessi,l time.
When !tenets were fresh mid young,
When freely gushed nil feelings forth,
I marvel, Jeanie Morrison,
Gin 1 hue been to thee
AB elimely twined wi' eaeliiitt thuelds,
As to line been to ?
Oh 1 tell me gin their music fills
Thine ear its it does mine ;
Oh ! say gin e'er your lienet grows grit
\Vi' dreamkgs o' tang Nylle. 7
I've wandered east, I've wandered west,
I've borne a weary lot ;
But ill my wandering, far or hen.,
Ye never were forgot.
The fount that first. burst frac this befit
Still travels on its way,
And channels deeper as tt ries,
The luve of isle's young day.
0 dear, dear JeaLte Mt•rison,
Since we were sindered young,
I've never seen your fare, nor heard
The music o' your tongue ;
But 1 maid hug all wretched tens,
Alid happy could I dee,
Did I but ken your heart still dreamed
0' bygone days and me l
A. terrific scream announced that Phile
mon Stagg hod planted his blundering
foot on one of Mrs. Stagg's corns, (or the
third time that morning, and so exaspera
ted was that lady—for she was a lady, not
withstanding what followed—that for the
first time is her life, she raised her little
loot, and gave her awkward husband a
fierce kick! You might think there was
a rote in ;bat faintly in consequence—and
so it was, although Mr. Stagg was consci
ous of his faults, and thought that the kick
was intended as a substitute for what was
worse, a scolding. He was surprised,
however,; but he did not escape so easily
as he imagined.
'Blundering, awkward creature! What
!wee I done that you shculd be always
treading on my feet? I declare I don't
know what crime such suffering is intend
ed for. I shall be a cripple one of these
days, Philemon, as sure as you are born,
I Or
'My dear Laura, it pains me as much
as it does you, I assure you.'
'0 pshaw!Sinypathy is cheap. 0 dear!'
'There seems to be a fatality about it.'
said the ashamed Stagg hanging his head.
.1 could almost cut cal my feet to prevent
such accidents.'
'Pin sure my feet are not no large that
they shOnlit'always be in the way,' ahe
murmered, looking with vanity at her lit-
On Mines° understandings,
kl know it, love. The fact is, they aro
so small one can hardly see them.'
He thought this might put her in gond
humor. Dead failure, it was a rebellious
and revengeful corn.
`And yours are so big that I tremble
whenever you come within a yarn of me.
0, my poor feet !'
It was a melancholy fact that Mr. Stagg
was a rare example of blundering awk
wardness. He was one of the be=t natur
ed persons alive. Clumsy animals are
generally the easiest tempered. But Mrs.
Stagg did not believe this to be any atone
ment, for whenever Stagg moved, things
animate or inachnate were in jeopardy.--
In doors or nut, ruin and confusion mark
ed his presence. Be loved his wife dearly
and kept so near her. that her feet bore
witness and paid the penalty.
That day by way of , recompense, he took
her out to ride, and it would have been a
very happy drive, if he had not, several
times more, crushed her feet, as they were
admiring the scenery. She began to cry,
and her tears were only stopped by his
!tangling both his ponderous teet out of
the vehicle. But as his peculiar fate
would have it, the position was unfavora
ble for his timing. which at the best was
miserably poor and awkward, and be be
gan to drive against everything that came
along; now on this side, now on that—
clink, grate, jar, bang, jerk, crash ! ex
ecuting unheard of manceuvres, with such
a want of judgment, that Mrs. Stagg at
last began to implore of him:
.'l'ake in those feet again, do Philemon.
Better to have my feet amputated than
break my neck.'
lle obey-d, but drove worse than before
and alter provoking the anger of drivers
all along the road, he finally settled the
question of life and death, by smashing
against a heavy mail coach s'iattoring, and
upsetting his own leant, and remaining
behind with his wife and the body, while
the horse galloped ahead with the ahafie
to and w'•re glad to get !tome again
-1 ii you what I'll agree to, wile,
said lie, after n lecture; .1 agree to give
you the most beautiful shawl you can find
in the city, if I tread upon your feet again
once, within a fortnight. I'm determined
to break inyself of the habit.'
Singular to relate, Ile became so watch
ful during that period, that Mrs. Stagg
had no cause to complain, no that scoro, or
rather hapcore. But a certain amount
of awkwardness was doomed to be his,—
Though he now approached her only nt
arm's length, she, in view of the shawl,
not coring if he approached an rear as
usual, and gave her one crush—though he
dared not sit beside her. nod. though when
they walked out, he kept continually leak
down, and trembled - vhen lie felt the
broadest circumference of her hoop-skirt ,
and not withstanding other look outs in
proportion; Stagg was Stagg, in every
other respect, and much anguish woo the
'There he goes again !' shrieked she,
next day, 'tumbling down stairs, Me:ci-
Cul heaven, Philemon, have you broke your
neck?' ahe cried, rushing out into the
Not much, my dear,' he replied breath
lessly, picking himself up at the fo it of
the staircase; "but I've nearly mashed
my head.' And he put his hand to that
erratic magazine, which was essentially
bumped, and profusely bleeding.
'O, my poor Philemon ! You are almost
killed! Take my arm. Here, Mary! John!'
'Look out for your fest, Laura,' was his
rudent remark. 'l'd rather not plaster
iny wounds wilt' a thousand dollar shawl.'
Stagg was not very seriously hurt, and
was able to be out and about next day.—
Taking a walk together. Stagg had no less
than three altercations with ped , strians,
against whom his clumsy way of locoino
lion had precipitated himself and wife, in
such a manner as to make it seem inten
tional. Ile floundered along like a great,
fl ip-eared elephant, and it was hardly
possible not to mistake his walk for an im
pudent swagger. Yet all was innocent in
him; and in one of the disputes, where he
lied bounced one man against another and
that other against two ladies, both of whim
were thrown down in the contact, their
gallant showed fight, when Stagg stepped
in with the remark that, did it!' where
upon all three pitched into him, and would
have made Stagg stagger, but for the in
terposition of the two ladies, and the ex
planation of Mrs. Stagg that "he was such
a clumsy creature!'
Comfortable companion, he, for it prom
inade ! Mrs. Stagg like eve)) , sensible
woman who has a just regard for her
health, was partial to going abroad to FOUR
, the fresh air, when other duties said yes;
and before the first week was ended, she
trusted herself with her husband, in a ssil.
boat—he to manage it—he, of all men in
the world !
Perhaps she was thus trusting, from the
consideration that certain amphibious ani
mals, which are awkward on land are very
graceful, expert, and au fait upon the mi
ter, but after she was upset, by his blun
dering management of the sails and arrived
home dripping wet, she didn't think Stagg
was a monster of that amphibious genus,
at least.
The husband prided himself upon his
adroitness in the perlarmance of little do
mestic chores, and when the fit was on him
you should have marked how Mrs. Stagg
did shake. He raised the 'deuce, and
broke things all around generally, with
the best of intentions.
Mary being sick, and John on a visit to
Ida Aunt Betsy, Stagg undertook the twin.
figment of household affairs ' , for on, day
only,' Mrs, Stagg at his heels all the tuna
lest he should tumble the house over, and
set tt on fire.
In his hurry, he poked the grate with
the handle of the shovel, threw the ashes,
into the yard instead of the barrel, and
flinging it against the wind, nearly put
out Mrs. Stagg's eyes as well as his own.
He drove a nail with the bottom of a por
vace. and left the atoms to tell the
Isle. Ile wiped his razor on the most m.
terePting leaf in her album—poetry writ
ten by a former lover—she vowed it was
intentional. Thinking, nt one time that
she approached too near, with her feet. he
started back and fell into a looking-glase
which reached from floor to ceiling, caus
ing a multiplication of his beautiful image,
anything but satisfactory to either of them•
`Gracious heaven-- Philemon -•-stop'
Now you have ocine your day's work-- a
good many hard days work, in halts day !
Now do map !'
'Pity, Laura, but can't be••.'
Helped, he was going to any, just as he
was helninff - ^ • ,to
ped the decanter lett of port, upon
pet, a magnificent Bruuela with a white
ground, and it was ruined forever.
This dampened his ardor in the ems,
of housework, and he desisted for the day
both he and his wife agreeing that he had
done enough.
But justice must hit done to Mr. Stagg's
disposition. Sad accidents did not ruffle
his temper even when others were at fault,
and the scold ings of his wife made no iin
pressnm upon him of an unfavorabie na
ture, Ile sinurely mourned ,iyer his ele
phantine ino.ions, and had charity for oth
ers. And amid all his dire blunders du
ring that terrible f^rtnight of probation. to
Mrs. Stagg' a regret, there was ono blun
der lie did nut muke—he did not step on
her feet.
'So I suppose I have lost lay shawl,
after all,' she said, pettishly, at the end of
two weeks,
wish I hadn't to tde the promise,' he
, for it was that which caused me
to make hall the blunders I have commit
ted. My mind, my dear, was continually
runnt ng on your feet. Singular anomaly•
•Though your feet were present, my mind
was always absent.'
`lt is nothing to joke abaut. It is your
huge hoofs which are to blame, nut my
feet—alt 0!'
Philemon Stagg had trodden upon her
leer once more !
4 Great powers ! have I begun • again ?
IVill I never stop treading on your feet ?
I'll get a rope and hang myself. ; Fit get
It platoon of soldiers to charge bayonets
upon me--it ought to be the "awkward
quad," too. 0, my dear, poor wifo, take
care of your feet•--•you are a martyr to my
clumsiness, a...'
'Don't you say toe martyr interrupted
she, quickly and fiercely, a sudden id's oc
curring that he was making fun of her ;
ICI, you unfeeling creature, I only wish the
world knew of my sufferings with y0u....
You trample upon me all the time•-•there
is no end to it. 1 wish I could get a di
vorce. I wish you thought half us much
of my feet, as you do about an old new
shawl. Awkward I I wish I was born
without feet!'
I wish I had been. I solemnly declare !'
exclaimed M r. Sing, in an outburst of des
peration. 'l'd have 'em sawed off now, if it
would end nay misery. But I suppose I
should be treading on you with my stumps!'
Bad as she felt, hugging her foot, Mrs.
Stagg could not control her laughter at this
last remark, her husband's evident sinceri
ty and lachrymose look, caching her
mirth the more. She laughed lung and
loud, and finally no joined her; and the
nex t day she had more reason to laugh,
for she got the shawl; a kindness which
has ever since so impressed Mrs. Stagg,
that sho takes care of her fret herself .
The Last Joke.
'This is a great country for jokes, and we
have just had one which is too good to
keep. Early this morning there was ad•
ded to our company of travelers a pair
who looked very like runaways ; the gen
tleman, a tall, raw-boned specimen, of the
half-horse, half alligator class, and the la.
di a full match for him. Among the pas
sengers from Napoleon is a solemn looking
gentleman, who had all along been taken
for a preacher. About nine o'clock last
night I was conversing with the 'reverend'
individual, when a young man stepped up,
and addressing him remarked: 'We're go•
trig to have a wedding, and would like to
have you officiate.' All right, sir, he re.
pli..d laughingly, and we stepped into the
ladies cabin, when, sure enough the caup•
le stood availing. There had been some
'kissing games,' and several mock mama
ges gone through with during The eve
ming, and I supposed that this was merely
continuation of the sport; and su thought l
the 'preacher,' who, I could see, had a
good deal of humor in hint, and was in
clined to promote general good feeling
and merriment, The couple stood before
him a great deal more solemn than was ne
cessary iu a mock marriage, I thought,
and the 'preacher' asked the necessary
questions, and then proceeding in the usu
al way, pronounced them 'husband and
wife.' There Ives a good deal of fun af.
terwards, and when it was over I left the
cabin..-and so did the 'preacher,' who re
marked to me that he liked to sec young
fulks enjoying themselves, and took a deal
of pleasure to contributing to their fun ;
but lie did not understand why they should
select hint to act as preacher. Just the n
some nee called me aside, and the old gen
tleman Stepped into his state room, which
was next to mine, When I returned, the
door stood o en C.Pd qitir 16 ; 011.
Lieniti: who had played the 'attendant,' and
who, as I came up, remarked, 'Well, if
that is the case, it's a good joke ; for they
are in dead earnest, arid have retired to the
same room.' The old gentleman raised
both his hands as he exclaimed, 'Good
Heavens ! you don't tell me so,' and rush-
Mg, just as lie was, boot in hand. to the
state room indicated rommenced an assault
on the door us if he would batter it down,
exclaiming at each lick: 'For Heaven's
sake, don't, I ain't a preacher!' 'l'he whole
cabin was aroused, every sta. o room flying
open with a slam ; when the door oponctl,
and the Arkansas traveler, poking out his
head, coolly remarked, 'Old hoss, you'er
to lute !
Legal Advice.
A gentleman ordered a suit of clotho
from a tailor, and spcially enjoined him
that they [mist be made by the next Tues
day, and that they must be mad? in the fi
nest style, and that unless the tailor could
have them ready to a cortainty, beyond a
peradventure, to the day, that he must not
undertake them ; but Snip promised faith
fully that they should be finished, ad dirn.
Tuesday came and no clothes , the enra
ged man flew to the cabbage man's house,
and said :
What's the reason that my clothes
were not ready as you promised ? here,
you have kept me in the city at a loss of
time and business only to disappoint me ;
n.,w, if we Into you in our part of the coun
try, I tell you what they would call you ;
they would soy you were a perfect squirt.'
The knight of the goose explained that
the only competent workman he had capa
ble of making the suit, had a wife lying at
death's door, and he could not possibly
leave her.
The outraged gentlemariwas not able to
smoth r his disappointment, and berated
the tailor soundly for failing in his positive
The ninth fraction of the genus holm
could not stand this, and plainly told his
customer to go to the caloric regions of Pan.
demoni u n.
The e ustonier, red with rage, rushed
across the street to a lawyer, and in an ex
cited, vehement and hurried manner,
said :
'Do you know Snip, the tailor across the
s, ay here ?'
Yes,' replied Brief.
Well, now, I want your advice,' said
the gentleman ; '1 want to know what you
woulu do in such a case. That iinfainous
stitch•louse has not only kept me here in
the city on expense to the great detriment
of my business, ant' disappinted me in a
suit of clothes, but, when I went to rem on.
atrate with the fellow about it, what do
you suppose the impudent rascal told the ?
He told the to go to h--I With these
words the gentleman laid CO on the desk,
and said, 'Now what would you do 1'
'Do you mean this fora retainer 1' said
"l'hen,' said Brief, putting the money
In his pocket, , he told you to go to
Well, I advise you not to go. There is,
moreover, no statute or local law that can
compel you to a specific performance. I
soy don't you do it.
An Editor in a Fix.
k little story is told by the Cleveland
Leader illustrating the absent mindedness
of the famous editor of the New York
Tribune, Horace Greely, Horace was
slopping at the house of a friend in Alle
gheny city, and there being a number of
visitors present, a large fruit basket was
passed around filled with large luscious
apples. A young lady, the daughter of
the host, approached the eccentric editor
while he was engaged In animated con_'
versation with a gentleman upon the sub
ject of "protection to manufactures," (a I
I subject upon which Greely is particularly
enthusiastic ; ) and politely requested him
to partake. Horace was in the middle of
the to him, all absorbing topic, and me
chanically reached out his hand and cont.!
tnenced transferring the huge pippins from
the dish to the left hand rear pockets of
his frock coat. The blushing lady could'
not well remove the dish while the sllus•
trims guest manifested a disposition to
keep on helping himself, so there she
stood in the middle of the parlor, the
group, of course, " the observed of all
observers," there, Greely, after hay. I
ing depos:ted some half dozen in said pock
et, 'held her with his glittering eye,' talk
ing volubly all the tune, and totally un
conscious of everything but his subjeq,
while making a frantic, but abortive (if not
fruitless) effort to get another Newton I
in the already alarmingly distended pock.
et. The damsel thought this the oppor•
tunity to escape from the dilemma
cy. Suddenly shifting the apple to the oth.
er hand he commenced rapidly filling the
oth er p,,eket, which process he continued
until the entire contents of the dish were
exhausted. By this time G:tiely's Ms.
tern pockets contained about a peck and
caused his coat tails to form something
near a right angle with his back. Al
though every one in the room was convu I.
sad either laughter, or the excru•
cutting effort not to laugh, Horace kept
on the even tenor of his discourse, in bliss
unconsciousness, and did not discover
his mivtake 'till he attemped to sit down,
when he was as much astonished as the
Yankee who unexpectedly planted him. ,
self in die middle of a sring•bottom sofa,
and leaped into the air with horror at hav•
ing, as he supposed, 'squat on somebody':
Slick and the Ladies.
'Cousin John, how did your wife hurt
her back so 7 I declare it makes me feel
awfully to see what a great hump she's
got growing since she cum away from
Connecticut.' With that cousin John
looked at her, and larfed a little, but I
could see he didin't feel just right : and
atter a minit he said sez he, 'I - lush cou•
sin, you must not speak so loud ; it's true
Mary has put on too much bustle, but it's
the fashion, you see.' I looked around,
and, true as you live, there warn't is gall
in that room that hadn't her back a stick
ing out jest the same way. Such a set of
critters I never did put my eyes on, and
yet they all stood about a smiling and a
talking to the fellers, as if nothing ailed
them, poor things ! I never see a set of
folks dressed so and so awfully stuck up as
they were. Some of the gals had feath
ers in their hair, and some had flowers or
gold chains twisted among their curls, and
I didn't see ane there that wasn't dressed
up in her silks and satins, as crank as
could be. As for men, I thought I should
have haw•hawed right out a lafin to see
some of 'em. Then. was one chap tal
king to Miss Beebe, with his hair paned
from :he top of his head down each side
of his face, and it hung down behind all
over his coat collar like a yoting gal's just
t,efore she begins to wear a comb, and
there was two bunches of hair stuck out
on his upper lip right under his nose, lik
a cat's whiskers when she begins to get
her back up, Every dine he spoke, the
hair kinder riz•up and moved about, till it
was enough to make one crap all over to
look at him. Think sez 1, if it wouldn't
be fun to see that varmint try to eat. If
he didn't get his victuals tangled up in
that bunch of hair, he must know how to
aim &Mired straight with his knife sad
fork.•.-Sant, Slick.
4(r` Wives are cheap in Delaware.—
The Georgetown Messenger relates that
one was sold in that State the other day
for $1 and a dog
NO. 24,
Cruelty of the Slave Code,
That such inhumanity as is narrated be
low by a Washington correspondent of the
New York Evening Post, is permitted
by the laws of the District of Columbia, is
a disgrace to the nation :
.paid Manuel Mason and his wife were
the slaves el a white woman, living a few
miles out of the city. A few years ago
Manuel was taken sick with imflamatory
rheurnAtism, and was given up by the
doctors as incuratile. Under these circum
stances his mistress offered to sell him for
$3OO. Nobody would touch him at that.
price. Finally she offered to give cripple
his freedom for $3OO, he to pay her in in.
stalments. Ile accepted the offer, and
paid off the entire sum in due course of
time. Ile partially recovered hie health
hired the time of his wife for so much a
year, that she might keep house for him
in Washington. They raised alarge num
ber of children at their own expense, but
invariably at about the age of ten years
the mistress took away each child and sold
it off or appropriated it to her exit use.
At last only one child was left-4 little
Ben,' He was, like all youngest children,
a favorite—the baby—the comfort of the
old folks.
In September last one of our new police
approachea the small dwelling of Manuel
Mason in search of 'little Ben' for the lost
child must be taken to minister to the vera
cious appetite of the monster, Slavery.—
Benjamin was m'ssing, however, 'Phe
father never had him in his power or pos•
sesioa for ono moment, yet he was sud
denly arrested for harboring a slave ! •
Tha law dates 1807, under which he was
taken, and the literal penalty is 'one hun
dred pounds of tobacco per hour ' for each
hour of harboring a slave. You_ ill ner.
itou to aunt his boy , and upon
his neglecting to do this he was thrown in.
tn jail. Although no evidence was offered
against liim, yet the Justice would not let
Mason out on any less bail than $l5OO,
which was furnished by a kind-hearted
citizen of the district. A jury very vulok
ly brought in a verdict of guilty, though
with no more evidence of guilt than is to
be found in this letter. Mason was reman
ded to jail, where for days he lay without
a bed, and all the time with scant clothing.
He lay in jail forty•nine days before Judge
' Crawford would design to sentence him.—
The sentence was to pay n fine or *166,60;
being $1,67 for every hour the slave was
. harbored—one half of said amount to go to
the use of the owner of tho slave, and the
other half to the United States.' I quote
from the Judge's sentence as reported in
the Xational Intelligencer. Mason was
; also sentenced to pay all the cost and to
remain in jail till the entire sum was paid!
The District Attorney was at last prevailed
upi.n, to consent, upon ample security
I that the money will be paid at she end of
three months, to let the poor negro go, and
no is at liberty again.
In the meantime a petition is circula
ting asking the Presid:nt to remit the fine,
but without a shadow of hope for suc
lowing articles were not long since sent by
mail to a member of Congress from Phil.
adelphif at Washington.
One wooden box, about a low square,
labeled Dr.—'s Universal Remedy.'
One jointed fishing-rod, carefully done
up :n 17 . (2 . T . .1 paper.
One Old Dominion Coffee Poi large size.
These were to go as tree, mailable mat
ter, but being of inconvenient shape to be
pecked with letters, they were sent separ
ately. The Post office Department, it will
be seen, is doing a gratis express business,
thereby doing a greet wrong to the Ex
press Companies. Sending coffee-pots,
fishing poles and quack medicines is about
equal to sending home the a weekly wash,'
as a Congressmen used to do,
WEED/I.—The fence corners and road
sides often abound with Burdock, Canada
Thistle, Jamestown weed and similar un
pleasant encumbrances. These may be
killed out, root and branch, by cutting
teem ofl at the surface of the ground, or
an inch or two below, just at that period
when growing with the greatest luxuriant°
or about the time they are in full bloom ;
repeat this a year or two and they will
give no further trouble. No attention
need Do paid to tho phases of the moon,
but rather to the condition of the plant in
its stages of growth.
KICKING Cows.—Kicking cows can be
cured of the habit, for the time being,
and perhaps permanently, by hanging
common draft•chain just forward
blp:, before milking.