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WM. BREWSTER, ED
. . _
SAVING FUND.
National
' • 4
SAFETY HIST
!
Company.
„4
• 77!ftsftwise.t.,,,:ii,,s5_--z-,"
WALNUT STREET,
BOUTII.WEBT CORNER OF TIIIRD,
PWIIIIAL E VP-11PRIa0
* MCI/tr.:mated by the State of Pennsylvania.
TWE PER CENT ttlTtlltgi
MONEY IS RECEIVED IN ANY SUM,
large or small, and interest paid front the
.day of deposit to the day of withdrawal.
The Wilco is open every day from D o'clock
in the morning 115 5 o'clock in the afternoon,
and on Monday and Thursday evenings till 8
,o'clock.
110 N. HENRY L. BENNER, President,
ROBERT SELFRIDGE, rice President,
11/11..J. REED, Secreturq.
DIRECTORS t
lion. Henry L. Benner,l 'F. Carroll Brewster,
L
Edward . Carter, Joseph B. Burry,
Holten L. Selfridge, I Francis Lee,
Semi. K. Ashton, Joseph Yerles,
C. Landreth Munns, Henry Dieirmiderfirr,
Money is received and payments made daily
in gold without in tire.
The investments are made in Real Estate
Mortgages, Ground 'tents, and such class se.
eurities as the Charter requires.
Feb.24,'57.
T 811;
GREAT BEAU TIFIER
so long unsuccessfully sought,
FOUND AT LAST ?
• . . • ..._ .
Fort
it restores permanently gray hair to its
original color; coveys luxuriantly the hold
)toad; removes 01l dandruff, itching and all scrof
ula, scold head and all eruptions; makes the
hair soft , healthy, and glossy ; and will preserve
it to our imaginable ago. removes, us if by mag•
ie, all I lotchea, &c. from the faro, and cures all
neuralgia and nervous hood ache. Sao eircolar
cud thu lullowing.
I)over, N. i t., Fl). Y I, 1857.
PROF. 0. J. WOOD St 06.—Gent.4 Within
a few th4S we hare received 00 010110 orders
and calls for Prof. ,!. 11. Wood's Hair Ilestora•
tire, that to day we were compelled to send to
Boston for a quantity, (the 6 dozen you for
warded all being sold,) while wit might order a
quantity front you. B e rry bottle we hare sold
semis to hare produced three or Amr new customers,
te n tl i itmatt , l2l, and pivoting° it reefircs
ofo l ur vicinity. fully convince tis tfiot iris It
UOST VAL:I:MILE PREPARATION.
Send us ns soon as may be one ;trots of $1
sire; toil one dozen 5.2 size ; and believe us
„ ours y e , req.:(fittly.
•Sigtml, LATnitor & co.
Dicker/ Greve, St. Cherles co. 111 e.
Nov. Ili, It - itill.-I'rof. O. J. Woud.—Deur
sir: Sometime last summer we ware induced
'to use SOlllO Or yo ur Ilsir Restorative, mud
its elleets were so wonderlid, wo fool it our du
ty to you and the afflicted to report it.
Our little son's head for sumo time had been
perfectly covered with sores, and some called it
milled hand. The hair almost entirely came
off in censeginnce, when a friend, seeing his
sufferings, advised tii 11 , 13 u bottte of your Res
torative, wo did SO WWI but little hope of sue
.cess,but tooursorprisc, and that of all our friends
a very Fear removed the disease en
tirely, and It new aril luxurient crop or hair
soon started out, and we can now say that our
boy has us healthy scalp apil tae lusurtent crop or
boil . as any other child. We Call theCCßaql,
moil
do hereby recommend your Restorative, es ti
perfect remedy for all diseases of the scalp and
huir. Via are, yours reilieetfolly.
- GEORGM W. 1110(11NwritAm ,
SARAH A. lIIGUINI'ArfIiAM.
0. J. Wood Sc".'., Prop idor , 312 Broadway
New York, In the great N. Y. wire railing estah
libliment, and 114 Market St.. St. Louis Bic.
And sold by nit Druggists.
Sept. 22, 105/3.-3111.
TILE CASSVILLE SEMINARY.
ONLY $22.50 PER QUARTER
THE PRESENT FACULTY.
N. MeN. WALNII, Principal,
Prot of Languages and 1'hilo:300y.
.Chas. S. Justin. A. if 9 ,
Prof. of Latin, Greek, etc.
,Jaines W. IluVies,
Prof. of Mathematic ,
Beniamin F. Houck,
Adjunct Prof. of Mathematics.
GeO. W. Linton,
Prof. of Vocal Music.
Mrs. M. 3IeN. WALSH Freceptress,
Teacher of Botany, History, Reading; etc.
Miss E. M. Faulkner,
Teacher of Pettis Work, Paieting, Drawing,
” - - , s D. L. Stanlen
f,,acher of Piano Music, Wax Fruit, Flo're,
Mts. Dr. Darwin,
Teacher of English Branches.
Miss .1. Al. Walsh,
'reacher of Primary English.
The tecent success of this school is extraor
dinary. Besides being the cheapest one of the
kind ever established, it is now the largest in
this seeder of the State. All branches are
taught, and students of all ages, and of both
eexeF, are received. The expenses for a year
peed not be snore than $9O. Students can on•
ter whenever they wish. Address,
' JOHN I), WALSH, Cassville,
Huntingdon Co., Pa.
June23,'sB.
Notice to Coal Purchasers.
Tkili subscriber is now prepared to furnish
CORI& Cokwat his bank at Lilly's Sta
tion, on the Penn'a. Railrand, of as good quali
ty as can be had on tho mountain. I will run
coal to Hollidaysburg, or any other point on the
Ponn'a. Railroad, if application is made person
ally or by litter.
ALSO—I will agroo to deliver COKE at any
bank, in cars, at /bar and a quarter cods per bush
el via i—Thirty-livo pounds to the bushel, or de
liver it in my own ears, at any point desired, at
tho lowest possible rates.
For either of the above articles, Alms
J. II'GONIGLE,
Hemlock, Cambria County, Pit,
Where all orders will be propmply attended to.
Aug. 25, 1858.6 t
0 GaHOT, LEA bago fD,or CAP
sale S, POWDER AND
tue• the Hardware
Store of JAS A. ItROWE.
Sept. 6, ',59,d...41.
TOR & PROPRIETOR.
PREMIUMS
AWARDED THE JOURNAL JOB OFFICE
AT 'FRE LATE FAIR, FOR
irl-300 31:3m.ir
DILLITIK ALiND 'dllLirr
PRINTING.
Miscellaneous Advertisements,
THE LIVER
INVIGORATOR !
PREPARED BY DR. SANFORD.
Compounded entirely of Gums,
D ono of the best purgative, and liver mill
eines now fictive the public, that acts pps a Ca
thartic, easier, milder, and niece effectual than
nny thor meditAne known. It is not only a Ca
thartic, but a Liver remedy, acting first on the
Liver to eject its morbid, then on the stomach
and bowels''to carry off tint matter, thus nccom•
pushing two purposes effectually. without any of
the painful feelings experienced . in t ho operation
of most Cathartics. It stregthens the system - at
the same time that it purges it , and when taken
.
daily in inadenite doses, will strenghten and
build it op with unusual rapidity.
The Livcr is one 0114 the principal regula
tors of the human ho- last dy ; and when it per
forma its functions well the powers of the sys
tem are fully develop-lEu .1. The stomach is
almost entirely depen-l i o dent on the healthy
action of the Liver thr the proper perform
ance of its functions. When the stomach is
to limit, the bowels are Z at fault and the whole
system sailers in con- 0 sequence of one orgt.n
—the Liver— having of ceased to do its duty.
For the diser.ses of Os that organ ono 01 the
proprietors hos tootle w i itt it his study, in a
lice of more tho n twon-, Z„,l ty years, to find some
remedy wherewith 101 counteract the many
derangeincuti to which' is liable.
To prove that this', remedy is at last dis
covered any personlT troubled with Liver
Complaint in i ay of itsir• forms, has but to try
a hold,: and et .
is certain.
These gums remove 0 . 1 all morbid or Ind
mutter from the system , supplying in their
place 0 heal by How trt of bile, invigorating
the stomach, rousing food to digest well, ,
purifying the blood,gis clog tone and health
to the whole machine- .s t ry, removing Oceans°
of the disease, end et' ncting n radical cure.
Ono dose alter eat- L. , ing. is sutliicient td re-
Lora the stomach and IM prevent the food from
rising ,11111 souring. !WA
Ililionsattacks volt cured, and what le
better, prevented, n . the occasional use of
the Liver Invigorator.)
Only .tone dose to-17,, a before rentre
prevents Sightmnro. 1 1 .1
Only ono dose taken at. mg , 'ens the
bowels gently, and cures Covtiveness.
One doss token other each meal will e e Dv.
popsis.
GFOne doss of two teaspoonfuls will ulnaye
remove Sick Ileadttobe.
One bottle taken for female obsetructionre
moves. the ranee of the discos°, sad makes n
perfect ctn..
nalv one dose immediately relieves Cholie,
One dose often repented is n sure cut. co,
Cholera Morio, and a preventive of Cholera.
C.TOnly one bottle is needed to throw out of
the system . the etfectA of medicine:Ow n Inng
sickness.
e'One bottle taken fur 'Jaundice removes
nil sallowness or ennatnral color front the skim
One do=e taken n Ana thee before eating
gives vigor to the appetite, nod makes food diges
well.
One dose often repeated owes Chronic Dia,
ducat in its worst forms, while Summer and
Bowel complaints yield almost to the first dose.
One or two doses cures attacks caused by 1
Worms in Children ; there is no sorer or speed•
iel remedy in the world, as it never fails.
CYA I . ow botiles cures dropsy, by exciting
• the absorbents.
ZeT!rr"T''`°'''ll ttT'ZI.
med
icine „e;.;1..11u I,
Fever, and all Fevers of it Bilious Type. It•
operates with certainty, and thousands are wil
ling to testify to its Winlaerllll virtues.
All who 000 it aro giving their unanimous too.
timony in its favor.
Css'lllix water in the mouth with the help.
atur, and swallow both togethet.
The Liver Invigorator.
Is a scientific medical discovery, and is daily
workiag cures, almost too great to believe. It
cores us if by magic, even the tirsst dose giving
licnalit, and seldom more than one bottle is re
quired to core any kind of Liver complaint,
(rum the worst jaundice or Dyspepsia to a com
mon Headache, all of which are the result of a
diseased Liver.
PRICE ONE DOLLAR PER BOTTLE.
1t,,. SANFORD, Proprietor, 8(5 Broadway, N•Y.
Sold by 11. /1101anigill, & J. Read Huntingdon.
Apr.7.'58.-Il'. .
•—•—
46 .0VDT. 4 :1 \ 1A 1•J
Zi - CD3E3
Preiniutna awarded the "JOURNAL," Of
flee at the late County FAIR, liar the best
AND
a..IARGY NTING7:
liavin g recently received from the Eastern
Cities, a
tilsT Pottza rams,
and n lar g o variety of lhe most Ask/ono/A
Printing Material, which makes it one of the
most compluts Printin g Establishments in this
section. Persons in want of any kind of
71.,: ji..l• • d tr• Ar . - 9 • a t 7 r
. a
a."
work., cannot do better than favor us with
their patronage. We have facilities for execu
ting in a superior roomier arty !dud of
PRINTING IN COLORS
on the most reasonable terms. Those who
may wish to obtain any style of
ORNAMENTAL POSTERS
can be accommodated at this establishment at
shell , notice.
itECTION BILLS,
BILL HEADS,
SHOW BILLS,
CIRCULARS,
WAY BILLS,
LEGAL BLANKS,
CONCERT BILLS,
PROGRAMMES,
PAMPHLETS,
CATALOGUES,
CARDS, &c., &c.,
will be famished promptly, executed iu he
best style and at reason.able rates.
roar Orders by express, wail or otherwise,
will receive itutuctilutoattention.
WM. ItItEWSTER.
1 /1 ,
1 1 "
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, ',..,, '..• /.1 C t il ,, , 1 1! : I ' -.. f :,• ' ;
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•
" LIBERTY AND UNION, NOW AND vonEvER, ONE AND INSEPARABLE."
HUNT
TERMS OF THE JOURNAL.
TERMS
The “HcivrixonosJounsue is published at
the following rates t
If paid in advance . $1,50
If paid within six mouths after the time of
subscribing 1,75
If paid before the expiration of the year, 2,00!
And two dollars and fifty cents if not paid
after the expiration of the year. No subscripl
tion taken for a less period than six months.
I. All subscriptions are continued until oth
erwise ordered, and no paper will be discontinu
ed until arrearages are paid, except at the option
of the publisher.
2. Returned numbers nre never received by us.
All numbers sent us in that way are lost, and
never accomplish the purpose of the sender.
3. Persons wishing to stop their subscriptions,
must pay up anyarages, and send a written or
verbal order to that effect, to the oflice of pub
' lication in Huntingdon.
4. Hiving notice ton postmaster is neither a
lege Hit proper notice. _
5. After one or more numbers of a new year
have been forwarded, a now year has commenc
ed, anal the vapor will not Le discontinued anti
arrearages . arc paid. See No. 1.
The Courts have decided that refusing to take
newspaper from the office, or removing and
aving it uncalled for, is PRIMA FACIE evidence
intentional fraud.
h Subscribers lining in distant counties, or in
other States, will bo required to pay inTariably
in advance.
Cirrho above tortes will be rigidly adhered
to in all eases.
ApVERTISE3IL'N'I'S
Will be charged at the following rates:
I insertion. 2 do. 3 do.
Six lines or less, $ 25 $ 37 $ 50
Otto squirm, (IG lines,) 50 75 1 00
Two " (32 " ) 100 150 200
3 100. 6 mo. 12 mo.
One square, $3 00 $5 00 $8 00
Twu 5 00 8 60 12 00
column,
8 00 12 00. 18 00
12 00 18 00 27 00
18 00 27 00 40 00
do., 28 00 40 00 50 00
Business Cords of six lines, or less, $4.00.
INDEX TO ADVERTISEMENTS.
Grover and Baker'n Sewing machine.
Samuel Groves store.
Warnick, Cladwick and Bro.
Cook stove for sale.
Climax Grain Fan.
Lumbermen & Stockraisers.
Antemonton Lands.
Mountain Female Seminary.
Gifts! Gifts!! Gills!!!
Land for sale.
Dr. A. P. Fields.
Milnwood Academy.
Green Willow Foundry.
S. M. & Co.
Gutrnon'a Clothing Store.
Brown's Hardware Store.
Fisher & McMutrie's Store.
t.,ls:du 5 , 5.
Iron City Culledge.
Saving Pettit.
Literary Haan.
Galvanic oil. •
Great Beautifier.
Invigorator.
Cassville Seminary.
Lung Ittlirtnery.
Town vs Country.
Indian Root Pills.
Country Merelmets.
Alexandria Foundry.
Huntingdon Warm Springs.
Consumption cured.
Bank Notice.
Anti phlogistie Salt.
nuntingdon Hotel.
New Lard Press.
David P. G win's Store.
11. Roman's Clothing Store.
Patent Portable Fence,
Premiums awarded.
The Journal Office. •
Colon's Book Store
Huntingdon Mill.
Letter Copier.
Railroad Time.
H. K. Nrli M. D.
IltiLtingdon Foundry-
Dr. J. R. Huyett, Dentist.
Atorney's at Late.
Scott & Brown.
Wilson & Petrikin.
Thou P. Campbell.
Green Willow Foundry . .
T WOULD respectfully inform the public that
1 I have commenced business at the aboxe
place, and will be ready to accomodate all who
may want anything in my lino of,business. I
will have on hand or •make to order Threshing
Machines, and 01 o.her machinery that may be
called for. Castings of every description, Cook
and Pallor Stoves, Plows, Hollow-ware, &c.—
All kinds of Turning, either wood or iron. and
Bleeksmithing will bo done in the best ntanner
and on the most reasonable terms. Farmers
and others wishing to purchase new machines
willlad it to their advantage to give me a call.
All kinds of Country produce taken in exchange
at market prices. PETER UPPERY.
Waterstreet, Oct. 13, 1858.-ly.
INFORMATION,
rimiE subscalber thankful for past favors res.
poctfully informs his friends and the pub
lic generally that he is receiving at his now
Store in Portstown, opposite the old Toll Bridge
a splendid stock of Now Goods, wheels has been
selected wit h great care, to suit purchasers.—
The stock of
Hardware, Quensware,
and Shoes, blots and Caps, a sanely of Stone
and Earthen ware. Fish Salt, Ceder-ware and
in Ilia nil articles kept in a country store. All
of which will bo sollow for cash. or country
prodacc. Civo us a call.
SAMUEL GROVE.
Nov. 3, 1858.
WARNICK, CHADWICK & BRO.,
(SUCCESSORS TO ERMAN a WA.RNICE.)
NORTH—EAST CORNER OF SECOND &
RACE STREETS, PHILADELPHIA.
Manufacturers of and Dealers Wholesale and
Retail in
HEATERS,
AND VENTILATOR
OVES.S, RANGES
ST
ALSO,
McGregor's Celebrated Heaters and
Stoves.
With tigreat variety of the latest patterns of
COOK AND PARLOR STOVES,
. ALSO,
Queen's Patent Portable Forges.
Nov. 3,'58.-
NGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 19, 1859
13quiar ,*ong.
Dutch Parody on Vll'thins and
Dinah.
Comfiosed and in n7b; -- David 31cConally,
"Tux uezon POWDER MAN."
There was a rich Ditchman in Now York did
He had a fine daughter you had better belief,
Her name was Katierena ash fair ash a rose,
Und she had a largo fortune itt the hunds of
old Mose.
Chorus,
Skil dandee and blitzeu and nix corn a rouse,
I is ydus now coma down from de lager bier
house, [Repeat,'
As Katterena vas drawing the lager beer van
•
day, ^.l
Iles fodder corned to her and dos he does say,
hurry up, Katterena, the parlor go to,
I Mre is a shentleman dare vnits to go ruing
mit you.
Chorus—Sin dunder and blaze., &c,
Oh, redder, vy dual they surge odher gal find,
Fur to ride mit dose feller I debit teal inenned,
The vay doy drib° de buggy it makes me feel
Mid I vants to get married mit Hans Dander
next veek,
Chorus—Sing dander tint blitzin g &e.
Den her ladder got mad and he schwme by Ida
tam,
Dat she must never marry mit any young man,
ir you love this Hans Dundee you may go take
hie bags,
Nit his hook nod his baskets and go gadder
rags.
Chorus—Sing divider uut blitzeo, &e.
Now, Katterena she back to the kitchen, she
Saying, I'll eat up my breakfast so fast vot I can
Put I'll dravel a vay as I cant't be hid wife,
Cut dat vas de vuy dat she loosed of her life.
Chorus—Sing dueler and hlitziu, &c.
For ash she was eating a big batons sausage,
It stuck in her troat nod it stopped up the pas-
sage,
She tried for to breathe, hut by grief overeum,
Iler head it reeled roust and she felt very clunk.
Chorus—Sing dander and blitzin,
Now Hans Dander he hapened to oath in the
door,
lie spied his Katterena lying dead on the floor;
vho died,
,
Chorus—Sing dueler and blitzen,
Now all you young vomans vat eve! you do,
Don't let this Haas Dander talk some dings
mit you;
And all you young fellers van you court. in the
passagn
Think of Hans Dunder, Katterena nod the big
beim). sausage.
Cliorus—Sing donaer unt blitxin, &e.
MOM MINIATURES. --- NO. 16
SYMPATHY ,
Sympathy is a state of the mind which
gives happiness to some, in the cgntempla•
tien of the enjoyment of others, and les
sons in like manner the sufferings of its
fellow man by the partial participation of
it. To smother this feeling on this (latter)
account would be vs wise, us to put out
our eyes because they sometimes behold
disagreeable sights, or to cut out our tongue
because we could not govern it. Shall we
forbid oursetves the joy of the blessed in
Heaven, by suppressing this beautiful de
velopment of character, because sometimes
misfortune oft claims its tender exercise?
No, for it enlarges affection, and incites to
better deeds. Without selfsacrifice there
can be shown but a passive virtue through
life. Nero, the ancient tyrant, was an ex
ample of the principle, which he fully car
ried out, of rot caring for the welfare of
others. History points to his cruelties with
a warning finger, and leaves us to contrast
them with better examples for our own
benefit. Like Charity, sympathp should
begin among our relatives, and friends at
home, but I think it should not end there.
Its limits are undefinable, for the whole
world is its proper field of action, Theuglt
the intellectual inquiries of man begin up
on earth, they extend to invisible worlds.
If then local scenes bind not the mental
powers, let them•nut effect the sympathies
either. We should not enquirewhen our
feelings are excited to comparison—from
what courtry, or in what year crone the
unfortunate to us, but in what manner re
lief and comfort tnay be afforlsd
"Lord, what ening dial' we bring
To thine altars wive we bow ;
Hearts the pure ,nsullied spring,
When ills kind affections flow.
Soft compassion's feeling soul, •
13y the melting eye express'd ;
Sympathy—at whose control,
Sorrow leaves the wounded breast.'
Though you oppose vices,—hate not the
sinner for hatred is injustice, and should
you even suffer from the error of a fellow
being regard him with mercy, and attempt
his reformation with gentleness. If we
wish he had not done wrong. sympathize
with his frailty, and if through our imilea.
vors he turnoth not from the broad road
which leadeth to destruction, upbraid him
not, but pray that God may touch his
heart. In ao doing we do a most impor•
tant duty, for God "sondeth his rain on
the just and unjust." if our good charac
ter has been •seriously maligned by an evil
doer, though we may lawfully defend our
selves, we ought never to unite ill-feeling
with the use of proper justice. Outward
evils are but temporal, and can sometimes
be remedied, but who can toll what may
result from harboring malicious desires?—
The course of right is not without its tri
als, when energy is a proper attribute, and
assistant, yet the resistance is to be aimed
against the evil instead of the evil doer.—
Then let us all have
"Willing hands to lead the hlind,
Bind the wounded, feed the poor ;
Love—embracing all our kind,
Charity with liberal store.
Teach us. 0, thou Heavenly King,
Thus to show our grateful mind;
Thus th' accepted ofrring Wing
Lovo to thee and all mankind.'
EDUCA.TOR.
*rtect
Mistakes of a Night—Sleeping in the
Wrong Bed.
An acquaintance of ours—Brown—sleep
in the third story of one of our hots Is. On
Sunday night, contrary to his usual ab.
stemtous habits, Brown concluded to in.
dulge himself in the luxury of a hot whis
ky punch.—The liquor had the effect to
set his spirits in a glow. Brown argued
with himself arithmetically, if ono whisky
punch will snake a man feel good what
will two whisky punches do ? He Look
another punch. It was now bed time
and Brown, becoming slightly topleavy:
started towards his dormitory, As before
stated, he roomed in the third story. Be
ing a little heavier on this occasion than
usual, Brown, of course experienced more
difficulty in getting up stairs. Owing to
this fact he thought he had attained a grea
ter altitnde than he really had: con
tezence was, in the first place, that Brown
'Phis room belonged to a lady and gentle
man but was unoccupied at the time Of .
Brown's entrance. 'rho room was very
lilte his own, and brown, not being inti
mately acquainted with himself, prneoe
ded to divest himself of his habilements
land got into bed.
Just as he had fallen Into a short of drea
my, drunken w akefulness, he felt a soft
hand wandering over his face and pressing
his temples in a very affectionate manner.
He leaped with a sudden hound into
the middle of the floor, and the lady, for
such it wns, screaened and ran down the
stairs. Meeting her husband, who had just
come in, the lady informed him of what
she had &severed and how she had very
nearly made a terrible mistake. The hus
band wont opts his room, accompanied by
a couple of servant, and found the door lock
ed. In answer to repeated tunnpings on the
door Brown answered in great indignation
that raper than be interrupted in that way
he would leave the house, accordingly Limn
mencd to harness up.—Nleantime the true
state of things flashed across his befuddled
intellect, as he opened the door he stood
out in bold relief to the husband and ser
vants, looking the picture of shame and
confusion. Being proverbially a polite
man, Brown stood humbly passing his
hands over each other, as he related how
the tnistake occurred, seemingly
Washing his bends in invisible soup
And imperceptible water.
His profuse apologies and I hasty exit sa
ved him from being precipitated headlong
down stairs. He has not been seen at ta
ble since and is supposed to have sought
another boarding-house,
GET MIEZIED.
Young man, if you have r vim! at tho
right point in in life for it, lot every consid.
oration give way to that of getting married
Don't think of anything else. Keep po
king about the rubbish of the world till
you have stirred up a gem worth posses
ing, in the shops of a wife. Never think
of delaying the matter, for you know that
delays are dangerous. A good wife is the
inost faithful and constant companion you
can possibly have by your side , while per
forming the journey of life—a dog isn't a
touch to her. She can smooth your linen
and your cares (or you—mend your trow
sers, and perchance your manners—sweet
en your sour moments as well as your ten
and coffee, perhaps ruffle your shirt bo
soms but not your temper; and instead of
sowing the seeds of Barrow m your path,
she will sew the buttons on your shirts,
and plant happiness instead of sorrow in
. 1 in your bosom.
When a woman loves; she loves with a
double distilled devotedness, and when she
hates, it is on the high pressure principle.
Her love is as deep as the ocean, as strong
as a hempen halter, and as immutable as
the rock of ages. She won't change un
less it is in a very strong fit of jealousy,
and oven then it lingers as if loth to de
part, like evening twilight at the windows
of the west. Got married by all means.
All the excuses you can fish up against do
ing the deed ain't worth a spoonful of pig
eon's milk. Get married. I repeat, young
men ! Concentrate your afloctions upon
one object, and do not distribute them
crumb by crumb among a host of Susans.
Marys, Lauras, Olives, Elizas, Augustus,
Bessies and Dorotbies.
The Yankee in the Museum
Years ago, when the Siamese Twins
wore on exhibition here, a tall son of
'Drown East" stepped up to the ticket
office cf the museum.
After "dickering" some time with the
long-lugged door keeper, ho disbursed
"swindle," as he called it—a quarter of
a dollar—and entered to see the "curiosity.
He surveyed the unique pair for the space
of five minutes, without saying a word.—
At length he broke out:
"How long you feller♦ been in this hind
of ti hitch?"
“Forty•two years,” replied Eng.
"Do tell ! Gettite kind o' used to it, I
exrc?"
"We Ought to be, by this time," said
the twins, together.
"Yes —'zactly; should say so tow, my
self. B'long to the same church, shouldn't
wonder?" -Yes," said Chang, "we do."
"Want to know ?" continued the Yen
kee.—.Wal," he added, examining the
ligature," of one of pia dies, Votheell be
in a fix, won't he ?" "It would be bad,"
said Eng with something of sadness in his
face at the thought.
"Don't drink nothin"xpect?" pursued
their interrogator. "Ever go in to swim?'
“Sometimes," they answered.
After gazing at and scrutinizing them a
few „g2gincnts longer, the indefatigable
!leis should 111:414 1 .ocsitig one o' ycou fel
i bout to be put into jail,
late yeou'd get along?"
said Eng, laughing at the idea,—
"I'd go Chang's bail!"
"Sariain—yo-e•e.s ycou could do that,
couldn't ye ?" And here closed the in
.?tructivo colloquy, and the inquisitor,
' whistling Yankee Doodle, retired, and
gave. room for a fresh ' , lot" of examiners
to interrogate anew the wonderful curiosi
-1 ties.—Boston Bee,
A Cat Story.
A philosophical old gentleman was ono
day passing a new school house, erected
somewhere toward the setting sun borders
of our glorious Union, when his attention
was suddenly attracted to it crowd of per
sons gathered around the door. He in
quired of a boy whom he met what teas
going en.
, Well, nothing, 'cept the skate commit
ty, and they're gels' in.'
'O, the committee meets to-day. What
for ?'
'Well,' continued the boy. 'you see Bill,
that's our biggest boy, got mad the other
day at the teacher, and so he went all round
and gathered dead cats. Nothin' but
cats and cats and cats. 0, it was oriel,
them cats !'
‘l'shaw ! what have the cats to do with
the school committee ?'
'Now, well, you see Bill kept a bringing
cats and cats ; alters a pilin them up youn
der.' pointing to a huge pile as largo in
extent as a pyramid, and considerable aro
ramie, 'and he piled them. Nothing but
cats, cats
'Never mind, my eon, what Bill did;
what has the committee met for ?'
'Then Bill got sick a haulin' them, and
everybody got sick a nosin' them, but Bill
got madder and didn't give it up, but kept
a piles up the cats and—'
, Tell what the cedunittee aro holding a
meeting for.'
'Why, the skate committee are goin' to
hold a mean, to say whether they,ll move
the skule house or the cats 1'
The old gentleman evaporated immedi
ately.
A PRETTY CoNck.;--f or Bashful Lo•
vers.
She One He One
Only Only Only Only
Ara But Am But
You Loves I Is
And That And There
Bo Ono Mo Sarno
Only Only Unto The
Are But You For
You Love Say Me
And 1 And Requite.
VOL. XXIV. NO. 3.
COURTING IN THE RIGHT STYLE.
eout, you nasty pup—let me alone,
or I'll tell your ma r cried out Sally—
to her lover, Jake---. who sat about
ten feet from her, pulling dirt from the
chimney jam.
arn't techin' on you, Sal,' responded
Jake.
'Well, perhnos you don't mean to,nuth
er— do yer ?'
'No, I don't.'
Cause o rby you're too rerunl scary, you
long legged, lantern.jawed, slab-sided, pig
eon "toed, gangle-kneed owl—you Min%
got a tarnal bit of sense; get a long home
with you.'
.Now, Sal, I love you, and you can's
help known] it, and if you don't let me
stay and court you, my daddy tvi:l sue
yourn for that cow Ito sold him t'other
day.
jingo, he said he'd do it.'
'Well, look here, Jake—ef you want to
court me, you had better do it as a white
moo does that thing—not set oft there as
of you thott I was pizen.'
.flow on turth is that, Sol
'Why, sidle right up here and hug and
kiss me, as if you had some of the bone
and sinner' of a man about you. Do you
spose a woman's only made to look at, you
fool, you ? No—they're made for practi
cal results, as Kossuth says—to hug and
kiss. and sich
'Well, 'said Jake, drawing a long breath
'ef I must I will, fur Ido love you, Sal.,
And so Jake commenced sliding up to
her, like a male porker going to battle.—
Laying his arm gently upon Sal's should
er, we thougt we could hear Sal say;—
'l'hat's the way to do it, old hoss—that
is acting like a white man orter.'
Jerusalem and pancakes!' exclaim
ed Jake ; got this ain't better than any ap
ple sass ever marmot made, adarnod sight.
Buckwheat slapjacks and lasses ain't no
whar 'long side o' you, Sal—how I love
you l.'
Here thojr lips came tog,ther, and the
report that followed was like pulling a
horse's hoof out of the mire.
A SPEECE ON SCOLDING WIVES,
AT a Young Men's Do . b ..a ting Airoißtoi
e v i I—a scol
-
After the appointed disputants
ney V
had concluded the debate, a spectator rose
and begged the privilege of making a few
remarks on the occasion. Permission be
ing grnted, ho delivered himself in this
way :
“Mr. President—l've been almost mail
listning to the debate of those youngsters.
They don't know anything about a scold
tog wife !—Wait till they have one up
wards of eight years, and hammered and
jammered and jawed at ell the while—wait
until! they have been scolded because the
fire wouldn't burn, because the oven was
too hot, because the cow kicked over the
milk, because the sun shined, because the
hens didn't lay, because the butter woulant
come, because they are too soon for dinner
because they are one minute too late, be
canoe they slapped the young ones, be
cause they tore their trowsers, or because
they did anything, (whether they could
help it or not.) before they begin to talk
of the evils of a scolding wife; why, Mr,
I president, I'd . rather hear the clatter of
L hammer and stones, and t Nenty hu pans
, and nine brass kettles, than a din din of a
scolding wife. Yes, siren them's my son
timeuts. 'l'o my mind. Mr President, a
smoky chimney is no more to be compar
ed ton scolding wile than a little negro is
to a dark night:
CURIOUS CASE—A Mau found Gnill
by a Jury is proven Innocent by aCalf.
We mentioned in our lest, in an abstract
of the proceedings of the Circuit Court,
that a titan named John Halpin had been
found guilty and condemned to a year,s
service in too Penitenuary for having sto
len and killed a hiefer belonging to IL J.
Reed. It turns out that Mr. Reed's hiefer
was neither stolen or killed, for a day or
two ago it canto home alive and hearty.
thus proving ibat poor Halpin had been
wrongfully condemned. Fortunately, ho
had not been sentenced ; so a new trial
was granted him, upon which the. indict.
ment was squashed and the man released.—
Ottawa (Ohio) Free Trader.
WHAT'S A WOMAN !—An article mann ,
factored by milliners and dressmakers:
Who wants but little on her head,
But much below to make her spread.
CURIOUS Eornon.--Among the epi.
taphs to be found in the burying.ground
at Ridge, is the following,
•
'This bed is cold, but oh! I love it,
For colder wore my friends above it,