Huntingdon journal. (Huntingdon, Pa.) 1843-1859, August 04, 1858, Image 1
.i! . ..t ittitntingipn._ii'llxittiL WM. BREWSTER, ED : Store at Dwelling to Rent at Broad Top City. The fine large Stone Store and dwelling at Broad Top City is now offered for rent on ver y accommodating terms, and is one of the best Stores in the County of Huntingdon. A very fine business can be done at this place with the Mines now in operation below Broad Top City, and also with the surrounding country, as there is no good Store within many miles of this place, and any one keeping a good Stock of Provisions and goods suitable for Country use can undoubtedly do a very fine business. To a good Tenant the Store and Dwelling will be rented on easy terms. Apply to , J. M. CLARK, Agent Broad Top City June 16, '58.-6t. SPLENDID RAG CARPET fur 37} cts. per yard at the cheap store of nsoun & NcMum.. PREMIUMS AWARDEDTHE JOURNAL JOB OFFICE AT THE LATE FAIR, FOR THE: •r aangi Tl+l3 1?2,211ff PRIN'T'ING. I\TEPIWIW. We request those of our subscribers whore. eive their papers, to inform us of those in their immediate neighborhoods who are subscribers to the "Journal," and have failed to receive the same, since the stealing of our pack-book, b 3 ruffians on tha 3d of February. W.4.lV ir iMal WHEAT AND CORN wonted nt this of ice . Those having either.ean dispose of the amine by calling soon. 3 mo. 0 mo. 12 mo. Ono mown, $3 0.1 $3 00 $8 00 Iwo BlittnrCP, 500 BUO 12 00 column, . 800 12 00 18 00 _.... I do.,' : tlo., 18 12 00 18 00 27 00 00 27 00 40 00 STAGE LINE I, ._ d. FROM Chambersburg to Mt, Union The undersigned aware that a suspension"( the line of Stages over the road between Chambersburg and Mt, Union, cannot he but disailrantageons to « forge section of the coun try, has, at a considerable expense and trouble made arrangements to ran a lino of Stages Tri-weekly between the two points Good Horses and comfortable Stages have been pla ced on the route, and experienced and trusty drivers will superintend the conning of the Coaches. The proprietorof the line is disirons that it he maintained, and he therefore calls upon the public generally to patronize it. confi dent that it will be for their mutual advantage. Every attention necessary will he given, and the running of the Stages will be regular. sr Stages leave Mt, every Tuesday Thutsday, and Satuttlny evenings, arriving at Chamtbersburg themext dos at 2 o'clock. He tornintii Ivavo ..... at 10 o'clock, arriving at Mt. Union the neat creak% in time for the ears. Between Jlr. Un ion and Shade Gap the line will he daily. Fare through $3; to intersled points in proportion. .1(t1IN .IAMISttN Jan. 20th, 1858.—tf. HAIR RESTORATIVE PRODUCING HAIR ON lIALD HEADS, Grey Hair to its Natural Color. This astonishing anti unequalled preparation hos never failed to produce a growth en Bald Reads, when need according to the direction, and turn hair back to its original color, after having become gray, and reinstate it in all its original health, lustre, softness and beauty. Ro tative, at otter all scurf, dandruff anti unpleasant itching, scrofula, eruptions and feverish boat from the scalp. It also prevents the hair f roe becoming unhealthy and billing off, and hence act, as a perfect llAtt livriaott.vrtia AND To- A gentleman of Boston writes to his friend in Now Beilltml thus: To your inquiries I would reply, that when I first commenced to use Prolesmr Wood's !lair Restorative, toy hair was almost white, and had been so for the last ten years and it wan very thin on the top of toy head, and very loose, and pulled out very freely; but I found.that ',Are I had used all the second bottle, (Mach was eight weeks) my hair was entirel)• changed to its original color, light brown, and it now free from dandruff and quite moist. I have had my hair cut five or six times since the change, and hate never seen anything like white hair start ing front the roots; and it is now as thick as it ever was, and does 110 t. cone out all. It has proved in my cam all that I could wish to ask. July I, 11855. Yours, e [From the Boston Herald.] SOMETHING Wotan KNOWING.—By using Professor WOOII'A flair Restorative, gray hair eon be permanently restored to its original ruler. The subjoined certificate from Johnson & Stone Gardiner, Maine. is but one of the many in stances that are daily coming to our knowledge, of its wonderful abets. GAlrt 11Ia!ne, June 22, 1853. DEAR Sin him; used two bottle;of Prof. Wood's Hair Restorative, and can truly say it is the grcatest discovery of the ago for restoring and changing the hair. Before using it, I was a man of seventy. My hair has uow attained its original color, You can recommend it to the world without the least fear, as my case was one of tho worst kind. Yours, respectfully, DANIEL N. MURPHY. Professor 0. J. Wood. Ibtooar wax, Massachusetts, Jan. 12, 1855. DEMI Ste:—Having tootle a trial of your Hair Restorative, it gives me pleasure to say that its effect has been excellent in removing iu liammation, dandruff, and a constant itching hendency, withieh I have been troubled fr -ui childhood; and has also restored my liairwhich was becoming grey, to its original color?. have used no other article with anything like the pleasure and profit. Yours truly, J. K. BRAGG, Pastor of the Orthodox Church, Brookfield, Professor Wood. [From the Missouri Democrat.] WOOD'S lIAIR DYE.—This admirable ar ticle is rapidly improving the hair. No article of a similar kind, now Wore the public, enjoys a better reputation as a restorative and invigo rating hair tonic. Its peculiar chemical quali ties have a beneficial enact upon the growth and character of the hair, giving a silky and glossy texture to that which was formerly of a coarse and dry stature. It has, also, we understand, tendency to preserve the youthful colcir and ap pearance of the hair, and destroying or counter acting the effects of old age. With such recom mendations in its favor, wo hardly perceive how npy lady or gentleman should be without so val uable an adjunct to their toilet. O. J. WOOD es CO., Proprietors, 312 Broadway N. Y., & 114 Market st. St. Louis, Missouri. Sala in Huntingdon by .1011 N Mean, and 11. NICMANIOILL, and by Druggists everywhere. Feb. to, 185P.-3m. 1.,hr.25,'57. -1y 'TOR & PROPRIETOR. TERMS OF THE JOURNAL. TERMS Tire "HUNTINGDON JOURNAL' is published a the following rates If paid in advance $1,50 If paid within six months after the time of subscribing 1,75 If paid before the expiration of the year, 2,00 And two dollars and fifty cents if not paid till after the expiration of the year. No subscrip tion taken for a less period than six months. I. All subscriptions are continued until oth erwise ordered, end no paper will be discontinu ed, until arr•earnges are raid, except at the option of the publisher. e 2. Returned numbers are sever received by us. All numbers sent us in that way aro lost, and never accomplish the purpose of the sender. 3. Persons wishing to stop their subsexiptions, must my up arrem•agrs, and send a written or verbal order to that effect, to the office of pub lication in Huntingdon 4. Giving notice to a postmaster is neither ti egul ora proper notice. . 5. After o lie or more numbers of a new year have been forwarded, a new year hati commenc ed, and the paper will net Le diAlontinued until arrenragel are paid. See No. 1. The Courts have decided that refusing to take newspaper from the (Mice, or remoniogout leaving it uncalled for, is rims A FACIE evidence of intentional fraud. Subscribers living in distant counties, or in other Suites, will be required to pay invariably in advance. CSTlie above terms will ho rigidly adhered to in all rases. ApVERTISI;MENTS Will be charged at the following rates I tnsernon. 2 do. 3 do. Six lines or less, $ 25 $ 37i $ 50 One sqoare, (16 lines,) 50 75 1 00 Two " (32 ) 1 00 1 50 2 00 28 00 40 00 50 00 13tisine'as Cards of six lines, or lass, $4.00. Advertising and Job Work. We would remind the Advertising com munity and all others who wish to bring their business extensively before the pub lie ; thut the Journal has the largest cir culation of any leper in the . county—that it is e mstnntly increasing;—and that i goon into the hands of our wealthiest citi zons. We would also state that our facilities for executing all kinds of 3013 PLIANT- I NG are equal to those of any other office Oahe. county; and all Job Work entrus ed to our hands will be done neatly, and nt prices which will be goctrii. A SABBATH NIGHT. love this holy time. The forest-leaves Beneath the noiseless dews are bending low end faintly glowing in the starlight pale As if the vision that came o'er their sleep, Were of the Spirit land, The mountain pine. Has hushed its melancholy music now, The weary winds are slumbering in the heavens Or keeping sacred vigils on the cloud. Far glimmering in the sunset all is still, Save that dr distant waves are murmuring low, Like a lost angel mourning his sad lot 01 exile from the blessed. It is sweet, At such an hour to wander out beneath The eternal thy, to gaze into its.depthg, To picture angel shapes on every star, To listen to the mystic songs that seem fo Faeces car to wander down to earth Front the far gates ut Eden, and to feel The deep and gentle spirit that pervades The blessed air, sink like a holy spell Upon life's troubled waters. Hark! the boll Tolls out the midnight! How glorious And yet how lonely is the face of things At this still hour of musings! Vale and hill, And plain and stream, and lake and ancient wood Upon them like a mantle. 0, 11uve, On eves like this to kneel in solitude At uature's shrine, The gentle dews that bathe My brute, seem God's own Baptism, and each voice That speaks in mystic eloquence from sky, And air, and earth, and ocenn. calls the sued To mingle with the holiness of heaven. hat was the use of the eclipse V as. lied a young lady' Oh it gave the sun ti e for reflection,' replied a wag. Here is a simple sum in addition for yo•.t to work out. It will require dilligence and core, and admit of no wanted time : Add to your faith. virtue ; to knwledge temperance ;to temperance, patienoc. patience, godliness, to godliness, brotherly kindness! to brotherly kindness chari• ty• An absent wife is thus advertised for; 'Jane, your abscence will ruin all. Think of your husband'---your parents.- your chit *en. Return-•-return--all stay he well happy, At any rate, inclose the key of the clipboard whore the gin is.' Dr Johnson could write eloquently, on good manners and politeness but could nev er learn to practise them. Addison could portray the pleasures of temperance, NM n matchless pon, bet could not •carry his own cap discretely. ,4 LIBERTY AND UNION, NOW AND FOREVER, ONE AND INSEPA RABLE. HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 4, 1858, * e i ctt pi s c c it an. t b i e nm r e n l g i e h v e t h d e nheiasdtail, s a b y e a fo ., 7 Ile an a r c i a a n h pass man must ley off Iris heart the riches of the , Love, Flirtation, Jealousy and Suicide. world, and consecrate them to the serv: . ce A young man named Albert G. Eldridg o and glory of God; for it is impossible to a resident of Toledo. committed suicide serve Him and mammon. It is much Ba by jumping overboard from the screw stem sier for a camel to go through the '.needle's !nor Northern Light, on her last trip down. I eye." Whet, then, will become of these 'l'he circumstances of the case are peculiar, I professors whose hearts are set on this and show to what an extent the feelings world? Woridly-minded, money loving may be wrought upon by that all powerful Christians, we leave you to ponder this sentknent love. Mr. Eldridge was in con, solemn question. It is one of deep and pony with ort pleasure party who had made eternal importance to you the tour of Lake Superior. Among these _ . wits it young lady from leveland, named ; Miss ll—, daughter of a heavy forward.; ing merchant in that city. To this young lady, who was everything attractive and interesting, the unfortunate young man was devotedly attached. How long the attachment had existed, or to what extent ; it was reciprocated, we are not able to say but his attentions wore very assiduous du- ring the early portion of the trip. He lived in the pure light of an undivided love, and was most happy in oeing near its object--at least so his undisguised and open actions indicuted. All went on hap pily untill the return of the boat, when ; she received as a passenger, a young man, who became acquainted with Miss ll 1 and ,hece forth devoted himself to her. She seems to have entered into the (brut. lion with a keen zest; so keen, in fact, that her lover was driven into a most unntistak. 1 able fit of the blues. He spent his time 1 in tvelking the upper deck wiilt his hands in his pockets, sitting with his feet hang. ing over the aide, and ,leaning over the stern, gumng into the dark troubled wa ters, that rivalled the commotion which that worst of all disappointments— a love dor ided—had stirred up in his own bosom. 1 At Nlackinac the party went ashore to in spect the Island, and wanted him to accom- 1 pany them. He moodily refused, sayin g that he was not wanted. His conduct at—; tracted the attention of everybody on board ; which made his poor case worse, fur no-; body has sympathy with the trouble of a 1 lover, except those who are bound in the nirr u olerie „Vei r easTf'4 er . i .?”l ° . he sat by himself on rite side of the bout, She placed her hand upon his shoulder and spoke to him in an, inquiring tone, He replied that he had no desire to min. t ie in tho diversions of his companions, 1 but would rather die at once, She replied I kindly, desiring him not to speuk so. and requested him to come into the cabin. In stead of complying, he gave her one look, and without a word .plunged 'overboard. A scream 'from the lady brought the re. inninder of the company to her side. Ile was s en to struggle for a few moments and then to sink never to rise. With the image of his beloved before his eyes he sprang into the cold einbrace of death without an instant's thought or prepare. He was a young man of good standing in Toledo. and has been engaged in busi ne-s there for some years. The lady in of one of the best families in Cleveland, and the event excited no little feeling. Every effort was made to keep the event still, the officers of the boat reporting that he fell overboard accidentally, but we have the above facts from passengers who came down, on the boat, who were cognizant of circ uma•trinces from begining to end.--De (roil Free Press July 20. THE NEEDLE'S EYE AND CAMEL . 'it is easier for a camel it go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven." There are thousands who read this pas. sage, but receive from it no definite idea. Various explanations have been given of it, none of which ever seemed to us to con. vey the true meaning, showing the beau ty and force of the figure. All admit that it is impossible for a camel to go through a needle's eye, yet we cannot doubt that some men who are rich will be saved. We have met, somewhere in our reading, with an explanation that we regard as probably the true one, which is this: We are informed by travellers. that all the cities of the East are surrounded by high and massive walls. At certain points these walls he ve passways for the exit and entrance of the inhabitants. These pass ways, in times of peace, were open in the day, but closed at night. By the side of these large entrances were those that were much smaller, used by foot passengers and those who had occasion to go in and mat night, they were called the "needle's eye." A camel, without any burden, can pass through these, yet with much diffi culty, Now it is not impossible for a rich man to enter heaven; for we trust that there are many already in the Paradise of God, who consecrated their wealth to the service of Christ, and looked to Him alone for salvation, But just as the camel attest Droll Marriage. A day or two ago a youthful pair arri ved in the city from ' , dawn the river," and repairing to Justice NlcFall's office Jeman• detl that he should marry them. 'l•he ma gistrate informed them that he would be at their set vice in a few minutes ; but they were so urgent :hat he deferred the business in hand, and leo pi: g into the hack with the twain, rode to his residence on Court street. The girl had three trunks brought in from the hack and taken up the stairs, where she followed wi!h a bandbox or two, and in the course of an hour de scended in full toilette, more rural than modish, however, with red ribbons lying all about her still redder face. Iler lover, in the meantime, was so overjoyed with the prospect at approach ing bliss, that he had sent out for two bot tles of brandy and three of wine, and had eat down with the justice to await the pe riod when his inamorata would appear.— The Inver drank copiously, which, added to his excess of happiness, soon turned his head completely, and when the damsel came down, he had grown quite drunk, aml was dancing a jig with his coat off , in the middle of the floor. Beholding the bedizened fair, he ran to ward•her, and clasped her in his arias with a strength that would have caused Lilo death of a city dame. She returned his pressure, when he capered about the room more lively than ever, and imbibed half n pint of brandy at a single draught. In. deed, he grew so "happy" that he could not be kept long enough • in one place ixidaie Ma he was so weak in the knees that it was necessary to support him while the service was perfumed, Respectable S oeiety To the question, “Will you take this ' , We heard a inns, otherwise intelligent woman to be your wedded wife ?" he re- Somebody has written a book on the a r t I enough, lately sneer at another, 'because, plied, "Why, why, hic-cer•cer-certainly; of making people happy without money. I said he, "one never meets him in r espee if l•I-hic-wouldn't, wh-wh-what-hic-the We are in an excellent condition to be ex- I fable society!" The speaker did not mean devil would-would 1 be-hic-here for, say petimented upon. I however, that the person he affected to Squire-hie ?" look down upon was immoral, but merely The ineltrity of the husband seemed to 'Sally,' said a young man to a damsel, I that his circle of intimates were nut coin- , amuse the wife much, who clapped her' who had red hair, 'keep away from me, o r poesd of the fashionable or the rich. hands in glee and exclaimed, in the most you will set me afire.' 'No danger of that ' 'Phis notion o f what anstitues respects. rustic style, "Oh I laws. ain't he drunk, was the answer, 'you are too green to We society is quite a favorite one with the and gosh, but he's funny. I hope he'll burn.' • class of individuals whom Thackeray has get so often—we'll have good times then ' ..__ Iso significantly called "snobs." Empty After the ceremony. the husband took The woman who undertook to scour pretence always making its own eharac• another large potation, and in attempting the woods has abandoned the job, owing teristics a standard• by which it strives to to kiss his wife, embraced the Magistrate to the high price of soap. The last that *me , sure the respectability of persons at the first time, and fell upon the floor, and , tens heard of her she was skimming the large. In a community of intro 'money- , thereupon the muscular McFall, fearing sea. 1 getters, wealth is the test of respectability. the conscqnences of his drunkenness, pick- i I Among the proud, narrow minded, effete ed up Benedirle in his arms and carried i Take a company of boys chasing butter- nobility of the Faubourg St. Germain, him to the hack, amid the laughter of the flies; put long tailed coats on the boys nod respectability depends upon owing deuces girl consort, who took her seat beside her turn the butterflies into guineas, and you (hints from ancestors who have marrteo lord, still indulging her risibilities to the ' have a beautiful panorama of the world. • their cousins for su inacy centuries that fullest extent.---Cincinnati lnqiiiter. The man who planted himself on his neither muscles nor brains are left any , longer to degenerate decendants. Wi•li good intentions has not yet sprouted. the dandy-officers who constitute a consid erable portion of the Amnrican Navy re spectability consist in having sponged on "Uncle Sam," in wearing gilt buttons, and in jilting tailors. Every conceited fool thinks himself, in like way, the only man realy weighty, the only person who is respectable. But true respectibility depends on no such neventitious circumstaroes. To bo respectable is to be worthy of respect; and hedeserves respect who hes most vir tue. The humblest man who bravely does his duty, is more worthy of respect, is more truly respectable, than the cove ! tous millionaire among his money bags, or the arrogant monarch upon his throne -- The fine lady who backbites tier neigh bor is less worthy of respect than an hon est washerwoman. The profligate noble, though he may wear a dozen orders at I his button hole, is not often really as res pectable as the shoe-black who cleans his boots. That which is called -the world' exalts the one and despises the other, but it does not mike thew respectable accor ding to the real meaning of that word...- ! Their respectability is but a hollow sham, as they themselves frequently feel ; and those who worship them bow down to a Fetish, a thing of feathers and tinsel.-- The selfish idle drone, who wastes life in his own gratification, and dissipates the fortune of his progeny, is not and cannot be.respectable ; but the hard-worsting self denying father, who wears out his life to bring up his children is, even though Ito be but a day labeler. Nothing ran mkt From Douglass Jerrold's Witer Humor. romen and IParriors.—With women as with warriors, there's no robbery—all's conquest, irmson.—Treason is like &anions; there's nothing to be made of it by the small trader. The Sweetest Phtin.—ln all the wed• ding-cake, hope is the sweetest of the plums Broken Character —The character that needs low to mend it is hardly worth the tinkering. ./1 /and of plenty.—Earth is here so kind, that, just tickle her with a hoe sad she laughs with a harvest. Second ntarringes.—l'vo hoard say wedlock's like wine—not to be properly judged of till the second glass. Damp Sheets.—To think that two or three yards of damp flax should so knock down the majesty of man. A very rogue.--Had he to cut his neigh , bors throat, he'd first sharpen his knife on I the church marble. I • A Polite Boy —The other day we were Jewels...-It's my belief that women was I riding in a crowded car. At one of the made, jewels were invented only to make stations an old gentleman entered, and was her the more mischievous. looking about him for a seat, when a lad A wedding gown.—After all, there is l ten or twelve years of age; rose up and something about a' wedding gown prettier said, 'take my seat sir,' The offer was ac than any other gown in the world. cepted,und the infirm old man sat down. 11 binding promise.--He kissed her 'Why did you give me your seat?' he in. and protnisel Such beautiful lips ! Man's I quired of the boy. Because you aro old usual fate—he was lost upon the coral sir, and lam a boy, was the quick re- I reef. . ply. The passengers were very much Maids and wives.---Women are all alike. pleased and gratified. For my part, I When they're maids they're mild as wanted to seize hold. of him, and Inez, him milk ; once make 'emit wives, nod they to my bosom. lean their hacks against their marriage certificates, and defy you. Woman's love of dress.--• Ask a woman to a tea party in the Garden of Eden, and she'd be sure todmw up her eye-lids and scream, .1 can't go. without a new gown.' How TO POP TILE QUESTION.—Gmcious 1 sez .it's now time to look after Nance.' 'Next day, down I wont. Nance was alone and I axed her if the squire was in? She said he was't. ,Cause,' said I, making her believe that I wanted him, 'our colt has sprained his foot, and I came to see if the squire would lend me his mare to go to town' She said sl:e gunned he would. I'd better sit down and wait till the squiro coins in. Down I sot; she looked sorter strange, and my heart felt mighty queer around the edge. • .Are you going down to Betsy Miller's quilting?' after a while sez she.' Sez I 'reckon I .vould.' Sez she, 'Suppose you'll take Patience Dodger Sez mought, and then I moughten't Sez she, heard you was going to get married,' Sez I, 'I wouldn't wonder a bit.' I looked at her and saw the tear cues min.' St'z 1, Mmy be she'll ax you :o be brides She riz up, she did—her face was red as a beet Seth Sticks!' and she couldn't say anything more. she was so full. Won't you be bridesmaid, Nance?' I . 'No,' sez she. and burst right - out. 'Well then,' sez I, .if you won't be the bridesmaid, will you be the bride?' She looked at ine—l swon I never saw anything so awful puny. I t Kik right holt of her hard. 'Yes or no,' sez I, 'right off.' sez she. .That's the sort ,' sez 1, and gave her 'lies. 1 fixed matters with the squire. We soon bitched traces to trot in double liar. • ness for life, and I never had cause to re pent my bargain. N (IT 11 FA CY. 1 Horace Walpole once' said : 'ln my FA 1, -... youth I thought of writing a entire en There is only ; one bad wife in the world i , should write an apology for them.' and every crusty husband thinks that she has fallen to his lot. I An editor acknowledges the receipt of a bottle of brandy forty-eight years old, and says: 'This brandy is so old that we very much fear it cannot live much lon ger.' The following extraordinary example of eccentricity is related by a Swedish jour nal ; 'Di. Rhuders, physician, has set to music the palpitations and irregular beatings of dm heart of a fetual,i who is a patient in the hospital at Upsal. l'his disease, written in musical note% with qua vers and semi-quavers, forms,' says the journal, a kind of waltz, and is of the grea test curiosities iu pathological anatamy. An old bachelor of ninety•eight, who j is hale and hearty, gives as a reason for his youthful appearance, that he has ever remonstrated against having anything to j do with that which tended to marriage. It is said that one of the editors of the Lewisburg Chronicle, soon after he went to learn the printing business, went to see n preacher's daughter. The next time he attended meeting, he was considerably as tonished at hearing the minister announce as his text, 'My daugter is grievously tor mented with a devil.' At a Virginia prayer-meeting, the cho rister being absent, the presiding elder, whose name was Jester, called upon one of the deacons and said, after reading a hymn, "Brother Moon. Will you raise a tune. The deacou lifted up his voice, but• to stead of singing at once, he inquired: Brother Jeeter, What's the metre.' This Ining satifactorily answered, Dea con Moon pitched the tune. 'Donald,' said a Scoth dame, looking up from catechism to her son, What's a slander?' gude mither ' quoth young Don ald twisting the corner of his plaid, 'aweel, I hardly ken, unless it be may hap, an ower true tale which one gude . .w oman tells of asither. An exchange paper tells the following of a person who prefaced his sermon with 'My dear friends, let us say a few words before we begin. "Phis is about equal to the chap who took a short nap before he went to sleep. It has been thought that people are de generating, because they don't live as long as in the days of Methuselah. But the fact is, provisions aro so high thnt nobody can afford to live very long at the current prices. Impudent little boy (to very fat old gen tleman, who is trying to get along us fast as he can, but with very indifferent auccess •I say old follow, you would pet on a jolly sight quiclrer,if you would lie down on the pavement, and let me roll you along.' VOL. XXIII. NO. 32 Dives fit to lay on Abraham's bosom while Laznrus is welcomed there, even with the sores the dogs have !irked. The fals vie; of life, which would measure respectability by a conventional standard, is totally nt variance with our republican institutions. It creates nn "imperium in intperio," for while the law declares all citizens equal, it erects a social standard which endeavors to Ignore that great truth The course. brutish, knavish, profligate criminal—in short. all who fell short of their duty to themselves and their fellow men--are those who are not "respectable and this, whether they are rich or poor. While those who live honestly, and strive to do what good they can, constitute to reality the respectable class, irrespective of the fact whether they eat with silver forks or steel ones. ear Sidney Smith said of a great talk her, that it would greatly improve him if he had now and then 'a few flashes of si lence,'. A Rare Event.---The convincing of a man that he is wrong, by direct argumen Cation DIFFICULT TO TUlLS.—Kirtvan says that a pious Scotehman used to pmy,"o Lord, keep me right; for thou knoweet Igo wrong, it in very Mud to turn me." 101111101010. A CURIOSITY.—We lied in an exchange the following singular couplet, in which a part of the letters do double service : cur f b d dis and p A sed lend rought eath case sin bles fr b br and ag Mr' A young man without money, among ladies, is like the moon on a clou dy night—he can't shine. ffer A witness tuns asked whether the defendant stood on the defensive. •No, sir,' said he, 'he said he stood on a bench and' fit like the devil.' LA Punster says': 'My name is Somerset, lam miserable Indictor. I cannot marry. for how could I hope to possi,ssed of Somerset. . _ 'Husband, I hope you have no objec tions to my getting weighed I"Certainly not, my dear; but why ask the question ,Only to see, my love, if you would allow me me to have my weigh for onoe.' Icy- A farmer said to a barber that he ought to reduce his prices, now, that corn was cheap. No siree, said the shaver, for when corn is low, farmers make such long faces that I have twice the ground t o go over. A Tenor? 0N.Z , 1 gentleman travel ing 'down east' overtook a farmer dragging a lean, wretched looking horned sheep a long the road : 'Where are you going to with that mis erable animal ?' asked he. .1 am taking him to the mutton mill to have him ground over,' said the farmer. 'The mutton-mill ! I never heard of such a thing. • I will go pith you and witness the process.' They arrived at the mill, the sheep was thrown alive into the hopper, and they al most instantly disappeared. They then decended to a lower apartment, and, m a few moments, there were ejected from the spout in the ceiling, four quarts of excel. lent mu:ton ; two sides of morocco loather, a wool hat of tho first quality, sheep's head, handsomely dressed and two elegant ly carved powder horns. Were it not for the fact !tat the above is ain the papers; we should leel disposed to dispute it. Der What aro the four qualifications that fit n sheep to become a member of the Jockey Club ? Because he is bred on the turf, gambols in his youth, associates with black legs, and is fleeced at last. illerThe young man who had crossed in love lost week says if it were not for getting wet he would drown himself! . Ho will probably compromise the matter by ehootig himself in a looking-glass. ear A!r. ShillUderMlls the following rather remarkable gun story. Speaking to day with a sun of a gun. regarding some gunning exploits, lie told Inc of a singular instance of a gun hang ing lire, winch were it not for his bell known veracity, I should feel disposed to doubt: Ile had snapped his gun at a grey squirrel and the cap had exploded, but the piece not going off, lie took it from his shoulder, looked down into the barrel, and saw the charge just sinning, when bring- ing it to his shoulder met more, it went eh and killed the squirrel.