Huntingdon journal. (Huntingdon, Pa.) 1843-1859, May 23, 1855, Image 1

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    aT~E:
,
•
..; .„„
I L 11;
:
11", k,
BY wn BREWSTER
TERMS : sion that for once she understood me, I left
The "Timerrxonox Jou mu." Is published at the cakes to her care. This morning
he followino. "
rates 7 when we came to breakfast Frank said
If paid in advance I,au
If paid within six months after' the OM tlf 'Lizzie, who could have made these cakes?'
subscribim, '7s Q did ood ? 'The
' said I; 'ain't th e
If paid at the mid of the year ' 2,00 , y g y
And two dollars and fifty cents if not paid tilt pre perfectly raw,' said he, holding one
after the expiration of the year. No subscription SoI f
upland so they were. rang or
will be taken for a less period than six months.
and nopaper will he discontinued, except at the Biddy and asked her why she had not ba
option of the Editor, until all arrearnges are poi 1. Iced the cakes "Sure mum,' said ply .
Subscribers living in distant counties,or in other, '
States, will be required to pay invariably id bright pupil, did jest as yourself told
advance.
me. Faith, I put the cakes in the oven
tair The above terms will les rigidly adhered
to in all eases. jest as soon asiptot in the kitchen, but I
„ „ . „
...__ •
ADVERTISEMENTS
Will ho charged at tho following rates
1 Insert:on. 2 do, 3 do.
Six lines or less • $ 25 $ 37i $ 50
One square, (14ines,) .50 75 100
Two " (32 ". ) 100 150 200
Three " (48 " ) 150 225 300
Business men advertising by the Quarter, Halt
Yonr or Year, will be charged the following rates:
.. ..
3 mo. 0 mo. 12 mo.
One square, $3 00 $5 00 $8 00
Two squares, 5 00 8 00 12 00
Three squares, 750 10 00 15 00
Four spaires, 500 14 00 23 00
Fire squares, . 15 00 25 00 38 00
Ton sirens, 25 00 40 00 60 00
Business Cards not exceeding six lines, ono
year, $4.00. I
JOB
I sir , . luuidbills, 90 copies or lo:?,
I CI
it 4 00
Br. NK'S, foolsenp or less, per singl, quire, I 50
" 4 or more quires, per " 1 00
far Extra charges will be made for heavy
composition.
ffir All letters on business must be POST min
to secure attention...99l
The Law of Newspapers.
• 1. Subscribers who do not gire . eirpress notice to
the contrary, ore considered as wishing to continue
their sidwaription.
2. If subscribers order the discontinuance of their
newspapers, the publisher may continue to send them
twit all prs paa
3. // subscribers neglect or refuse to take their
newspapers from the offices to OA they are direc
ted, they arc held responsible until they hare settled
their hills and ordered them discontinued.
4. If subscribers remove to other places without
informing the publisher, and the newspapers are sent
loth, former direction, they are held responsible.
5. }'aeons who continue to receive or take the
paper rom the office, 111,3 to be considered us sub
scribers and its such, etpuilly responsibleAr subscrip
tion, as if they had ordered their names enter"( upon
the publishers books.
e. The Courts have also repeatedly decided that
a Pest Master tr l / 4 / pp/Ms to pelf irm his ilnty of
giving reasonable. donee as required by the ri.gula
lions V the Mt Of/ice Department, el. the neg
lect°, a perren to take from the (ere, newspapers
addressed to hint enders the lost Master liable to
the publisherAr subsrri plion price. .
ber rosTmAsTEits are required by law
to notify publishers by letter whun their publi
eatiOllS IWO mftmed or not culled for by persons
to whom they aro soot, and to give the reason
of such refusal, if known. It is clan their duty
to frank all 'melt letters. No will thank post
masters to kelp its posted up is relation to this
*natter.
ttat V-otl3
[HY REQUEST.
THE HAZEL DELL.
Itt the Hazel Dell my Nelly's sleeping
Nally loved s.; long,
And etc lonely, lonely watch Pm keeping,
Kelly, lost tied gone !
Item in the moonlight oft we've wondered,
Though the silent shade ;
Now where leafy branches drooping downward
Little Nell's
All alone my watch Pm keeping,
In the Hazel Dell,
Fur my Burling Nelly's near inn sleeping,
' , lolly, dear, far ewell.
In the Hazel Dell toy Nelly's sleeping,
Where the flowem wave,
And the silent stars are nightly weeping,
O'er poor :telly's gram.
Ifopes that once my bosom fondly cherished,
Smile no more for me,
Every dream of joy. alit has perished,
Nelly, dear, with thee,
All alone my watch, kr.
Nuw rut weary, friendless and forsaken,
Watehinghere alone,
Nally, thou no more wilt fondly cheer me,
With thy lovely tone k
Yet forev.:'.call thy gentle Image
In ,J memory dwell.
And my tears thy lonely grave shall moisten,
Nelly, den•, farewell.
All alone my watch, Rm. -
ffillllloolls *Ott
From Godoy's Lndy's Book.
BIDDY'S BLUBDBRS,
dea;," said my clear friend, Lizzie
Evans, brustling into my room one morn
with a most desparing look on her
;iretty face, "0, dear ! I ain tired of play
teacher and mistress to a raw Irish
girl, who does not know the difference be
tween a bean and o pumpkin; and I have
come to you to have a long chat, and try
,l rive off the blues, 0, Annie, darling!"
oh,. continued with a ludicrously solemn
, never go to- housekeeping, or if you
, lon't hire an Irish girl 'who has to
"
'Why Lizzie,' said I, 'what is the mat
ter 1 Is the girl stupid 1'
I'll tell you what site did to•day, and
leave you to judge of her talents. Last
evening, I made up a quantity of breakfast
cake for this morning. They were the
kind my mother taught me to make, and
she told me that they required a long ba
king; so I said to Biddy : 'Be sure you
put this on the first thing in the morning.'
'O, yes marm ; its nnderstanding you, I
ant, the first thing,' happy in the dein-
I SEE NO STAR ABOVE TAE HORIZON, -PROMISING LIGHT TO GUIDE US, BUT THE INTELLIGENT, PATRIOTIC, UNITED WHIG PARTY OF THE UNITED STATER."•
was after takOrthent off as soon as the
fire began to be burning, for fear they'd be
after scorching.'
'A bright pupil, indeed,' said I laugh
ing. "You will have to teach her every
thing.'
'Everything! That puts me In mind of
another blunder. When she came, it was
understood that I was to instruct her in all
the service I should need of her. The
morning after she came, I left her safe in
the kitchen, and wont into the parlor to
practice. A noise behind mo attracted
my attention, and turning I saw Biddy sit
ting on the sofa, apparently perfectly at
home. 'Why, Biddy,' said I 'what are
you doing up here 'Faith I was listen
ing to you, :norm.'
'Go back into the kitchen,' said I, 'and
never come into the parlor again unless I
send for you.'
'O, you'll be afther sending word when
you want me ?' 'Certainly,' said I; and
Biddy went out. About ono hour after
wards, I heard the piano, and going down,
found Biddy seated on the piano stool,
thumping (no other word expresses the en
ergy with which she struck the keys,)
while a look of great satisfaction was vis
ible on her faze.
'Why, Biddy,' said I told you not to
come into the parlor again.' 'Sure, yo
promised to be sending for me, and trolls,
ye clano forgot it; so I thought I'd jest
thry the thing till ye'd come to tactic me.'
'Teach you ?' said I. 'Troth, aint Ito be
afther learning everethleff ond ein't it
playing the tunes I'll be in a wake ?"
'For so young a bride and housekeeper,
you certainly have had some experience,'
said I, laughing.
'Are you ever coming to see inn,' said
Lizzie, after we had spent some time in
chatting. 'You have never seen my
'Green Erin,' as Frank calls her.'
'Be sure, I shall pay Biddy a visit,' said
$ 1 25
1 50
2 50
us we parted.
About a week after, I met Lizzie in the
street, and she told me that one of the 'en
try thieves,' as they are called, had come
to the house while she was Out, and under
pretence of waiting till her return, had ta
hen away all the small parlor ornaments
while Biddy was in the kitchen. is so
provoking to lose things so.' said Lizzie,
'and many of these things I valued be
cause they were bridal gifts. flowerer,
I impressed it upon Biddy's verdant mind
that the next time people or any kind call
ed when I was out she was to tell them to
call again, and never leave to them alone
in the parlor. Sho represented this thief
as quite a respectable looking woman.'
A insetting or.twoafter this conversation,
I called to spend the day with Lizzie, ac
cording to agreement. I went quite early
iu the forenoon. A girl whom I know
must be the 'Green Erin' of Lizzie's sto
ries opened the door.
'ls Mrs. Evans in?' said I.
'No; it's at the market she is. You
will hare to be coming again.'
'O, no I" said I. wait till she re
turns.'
No, indade, you won't !' cried Biddy,
obstructing my entrance by placing her
stout person in the doorway.
'Why, what do you mean ?' said I very
much astonished.
'I mane ye'll have to clear out, and come
had: again, if you're wanttng to sae Mrs.
Ivens. Oh, ye needn't flare up ! I'll not
budge an inch, troth I'm knowing my bu
siness.'
After much arguing, and some insolence
on Biddy's part, I managed to effect an
entrance. Biddy followed the into the par
, lor and seated herself directly opposite me.
Concluding that she would leave the room
as soon as she had satisfied her curiosity
--for I thought she wanted to find out
who I was—l took up a book to read till
Lizzie came in.
.oh, that so!' cried Biddy, snatching
the book from me. 'Jest be after keeping
your hands to yourself. I know what you
are up to.'
. _
Give me that book instantly !' said I
angrily, but with a feeling of terror, for I
had arrived at the conclusion that the girl
was crazy.
'No, I'll not,' said she ; and it you're
afther Mrs. Irons, I Ash ye'd jest come
into the kitchen and :veil, for I've got the
scrubbing to do ; and it's not. sitting hero
HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 23, 1855.
the.whole dny I'd be, a looking afther
you.'
'Go into the kitchen,' said I, don't re
quire you he:
'Oh, ye'd be mighty pissed to get rid of
me ! Now wouldn't ye? but I'm waiting
here till the mistress comes as well as you.'
At that moment Lizzie came in. Wear
Annie, this is really kind, to come so enr
ly,' said she ; but what is the matter ? You
look angry, and Biddy insolent. What is
the matter ?'
'l'm going, mum,' said Biddy. .I've
been after watching that she didn't walk
out the door wid the books, jest as t'other
woman did with t'other things. But since
you're here yourself, and she seems to be
knowing ye, I'll go to my scrubbing.'
The whole truth flashed on me as Bid
dy spoke, as my eye met Lizzie's we both
burst into a hearty laugh. Biddy had ta
ken me for an 'entry thief.'
`TisceJZanc~u.
WATCHING FOR A TIGER.
The spot I selected was at the edge.of a
tank, where a tiger used to drink. There
was a large tamarind tree on its banks, and
here I took my post. A village shikaree
accompanied me ; and soon after sunset we
took up our position on a branch, about
12 feet from the ground. I should first
mention that we had fastened an unfortu
nate bullock under the tree for a bait.—
Well, we remained quietly on our perch
for a couple of hours without anything
stirring. It might be eight o'clock ; the
moon had risen, and so clear was the light
that we could see the jackalls at the dis
tance of half a mile, sneaking along tow
ards the village, when a party of Brimpar
ries passing by, stopped to water their
bullocks at the tank. They loitered for
some time ; and becoming impatient, I got
down from the tree with a :jingle rifle in
my hand, and walked towards them, tel.
line thorn that
when they started off immediately.
I was sauntering back to my post, nev
er dreaming of danger, when the Aflame
gave a low whistle, and at the same mo
ment a growl arose from some bushes be
tween me and the tree. To make my sit
uation quite decided, I .raw the shilcaree's
black orm pointing nearly straight under
him ;on my side of his post. It was evi
dent that I could not regain the tree, al
though I wry_ within twenty paces of it.
There was nothing for me to do but to drop
behind a bush, and leave the rest to Prov
idence. If I had moved, the tiger would
have had.= to a certainty; besides I taun
ted to his killing the bullock, and return
ed to the jungle as soon as he had finished
his supper. _
, It was terrible to hear the moans of the
wretch bullodlr when the tiger approached,
He would run to the end of his rope, ma
king a desperate effort to break it, and
then lie down shaking in every limb, and
bellowing in the most piteous manner.--
The tiger saw him plain enough, but, sus
pecting something was wrong, ho walked
growling around the tree, as if he did not
observe him. At length he made his fa
tal spring, with a horrid shrielc rather than
roar. I could hear the tortured bul
lock struggling under him, uttering faint
cries which became more feeble every in
stant, and the heavy breathing, half growl
half snort, of tho monster, as he hung to
his neck, sucking his life's blood.
I know not what possessed me at this
moment but'? could not resist the tempta
tion of a shot. I crept up softly within ton
yards of him, and kneeling behind a clump
of dates, took a deliberate aim at his head,
while ho lay with his nose buried in the
bullock's throat. He started with an an
gry roar front the carcase, when the ball
hit him. Ile stood listening fora momen
and then dropped in front of me, uttering
a sullen growl. There. war nothing but
date bush between us; I hod no weapon
but my discharged rifle. I felt for my
pistols, but they had been left on the tree.
Then I knew my hour was come, and all
the sins of my life rushed with dreadful
distinctness across my mind. I muttered
a short prayer, and tried to prepare my
self
for death, which seemed inevitable.
But what was my peon about all this
time ? He had the spare guns with him !
0, as I afterwards learned; he, poor fellow,
was trying to hre my double rifle ; but all
my locks have bolts, which ho did not un
derstand, and he could not cock it. Ho
was a good Shikaree, and know that was
my only chance ; so, when ho could do no
good, ho did nothing. If Moharleen had
been there, ho would soon have relieved
me; but I had sent him in another direc
tion that day. Well, some minutes pas
sed thus.
After the campaign had closed, the sol
diers re-crossed the Lake, having left some
of the horses on the American side. As
soon as the lino was formed, to the great
surprise of the troops, there was the pig on
the right of the line, ready to resume her
march with the rest. By this time the
winter frosts had set is, and the animal
suffered greatly on the homeward march.
she made out however, to reach Maysville
where the troops crossed the Ohio river,—
There she gave out ; and was put in trusty
hands by Governor Shelby, and finally
to the Governor's own home, where she
passed the rest of her slays in ease and in
dolence. There are many in Kentucky
who can attest the truth of this remarka
ble story.
Tho tiger made uo auctupt to come at 111111 r Excelsior.
me : a ray of hope cheered me; he might
be dying. I peeped through the branches
—but my heart sank within me when his
bright green eyes met mine, and his ho
breath absolutely blew iii my face. I slept
ped back in despair, and a growl warned
me that even that slight'movement was no
ticed. But why did he not attack me ?--
A tiger is a suspicious, cowardly brute,
and will seldom charge unless he sees his
prey distinctly. Now I was quite con
cealed by the date leaves; and while I re_
mained perfectly quiet I still had
chance.
Suspense was becoming intolerable. My
rifle lay useless at my side ; to attempt to
load it would have been instant death.—
My knees were bruised by the bard gra
vel, but L dared not move a joint. The
tormenting mosquitoes swarmed around
my face, but I feared to raise my hand to
brush them off. Whenever the wind ruf
fled the leaves that sheltered me, a hoarse
growl grated through she stillness of the
night around me. Hours that seemed
years rolled ou ; I could hear the village
gong strike each hour of that dreadful
night, which I thought would never end.
At last tho welcome dawn l.—and oh, how
gladly did I hail the first streaks of light
that shot up from the horizon, for then the
tiger rose, and sulkily stalked away-to
some distance. --I felt that the danger was
past, and rose with a feeling of relief
which I cannot describe. Such a night
of suffering was enough to turn my brain,
and I only wondered that I survived it.—
I now sent off the peon for the elephant,
and before ii o'clock old Goliath had arri
ved. It was all over in five minutes.
The tiger rushed to meet me as soon as I
entered the cover, and one ball in the
chest dropped him down dead.
THE MILITARY PIG.
During the last war with Great Britain,
a very remarkable circumstance occurred
in connection with the invasion of Canada
A company of Kentucky volunteers des
titirsy. had • =
WOOS nt Harrodsburg, in Kentucky, and
formed a sort of nucleus or rallying point
for the military recruit of that part of the
country. When the marched from Har
rodsburg, towards the Ohio river, having
got a mile or two on their way they noti
ced twp pigs fighting, and delayed their
march to see it out. After they had resu
med their march, the pig which had been
victor in the contest was observed to follow
them.
At night, when they encamped, the pig
found a shelter near, and halted also. The
next day the pig accompanied the troops
ns before; and thus matched every day
and night with the soldiers, or near them.
When ,the came opposite • Cincinnati, at
which place the troops were to cross the
Ohio river in a ferry-boat, the pig, on get
ting to the Waters edge, promptly plunged
in and swam across, and waited on the oth
er side until the whole cortege crossed
over, and then resumed its 1 ast on ono
side of the moving column. Thus the
animal Ic'ept up with the troops until they
crossed the state of Ohio, and reached
Lake Erie. On the journey, ns the men
grew familiar with their comrade, it be
came n pet, receiving a share of the rations
issued to the soldiers, and destitute of pro
visions as the troops found themselves at
times, no one thought of putting the knife
to the throat of their fellow soldier. What
they had was still shared, and if the pig
fared scanty as the rest at times, it still
grunted on, and manifested as much pa
triotistn in its own line as the bipeds it ac
companied did theirs. At the margin of
the Lake, she embarked with the troops,
and went as far as Bass Island. But when
offered a passage over into Canada, she
obstinately refused to embark a second
time. Some of the men attributed her
conduct to constitutional scruples, and ob•
seryed that she knew it was contrary to
the Constitution to force a military pig ov
er the line. Sho therefore had- leave to
remain,
From the New ):'ork Independent.
TO YOUNG CONVERTS,
I will now mention some things which
ought to be avoided, and some things
which ought to be done.
THINGS TO DE AVOIDED.
Eva practices, evil company, evil busi
ness, evil habits, evil speaking, worldly
mindedness, trifling, jesting, idle-words,
novel reading, balls, the theatre, and cir
cus, or hippodrome—every thing which is
wrong in feelings, and in words, and in ac
tions.
THINGS TO ni: DONE,
Be regular in secret prayer. Have
stated hours for this important duty; enter
your closet at least three times a day.—
Your closet, more than any other place,
will decide whether you are a true con
vert or not; whether- you are a useful,
growing Christian or not; whether you
will hold on your way, and grow stronger
in the Lord's service.
If you have a family, and have not yet
commenced family worship, begin to-day ;
and be as regular as the sun, in calling
your household together, morning and
evening, for religious services. And at
your table have a short prayer before eat
ing, and after eating also, if your con
science will be better satis fi ed with it.
Bo as punctual as possible in attending
the prayer meetings of your church.—
Stand ready to take a part, especially if
called on to do so by the one who leads the
meeting. Do your best, and it will be ac
cepted. Never say, "linen me excused."
Read the Bible daily; and it is well to
read in course. By reading three chap
ters on each week day, and five on each
Sabbath, you will read the Bible through
in El,
&tin information of what is going on
in the religious world. In order to do
this you will do well totalm, anti read, and
pay for, some good religious newspaper,
and tine ibbrnals of the different benevo
lent societies.
Be reodv to help forward every good
contributing to its funds. Be liberal in
aiding objects of benevolence, according
as God shall prosper you.
Make Christians your chosen compan
ions, and "do good to all men, especially
to them who are of the household of faith."
Sympathize with the afflicted, and with
the oppressed of all nations, and all colors.
"Remember them that are in bonds, no
bound with them."
"Strive to keep a conscience void of of•
fence toward God and toward man.
Be faithful to impenitent sinners. Deal
kindly and tenderly, but faithfully with
them. Seta sober, consistent, Christian
example before them. Let them see that
you love them, and earnestly desire their
salvation. Speak to them often, even
though it be but a few words. Pray ear
nestly and perseveringly for them. Ever
be on the side of right, and truth, and vir
tue, and good order. Belong to a total ab
stinencesocioty,and give the whole weight
of your influence against the sale and use
of intoxicating liquors as a beverage, and
against tobacco in every shape and form.
JOIN TUE VISIBLE CIIERCIL
1. Do it, because God says, , ‘Come ye
out from, among them, and bo ye separate,
and touch not the unclean thing ; and I
will receive you, and will be a father unto
you ; and ye shall be my sorts and dough
tern, saith the Lord Almighty."
2. Do it, because an inspired apostle
has said "With the heart man bel.eveth
unto righteousness, and with the mouth
confession is made unto salvation." Here
it seems that confession is as much a duty,
as believing. And it any think that they
have faith, but nre reluctant about confes-.
sing Christ before men, they ought to in
quire if their faith is not the kind spoken
of by the Apostle James, as dead.
8. Do it, because our blessed Saviou
commands his friends to do something in
remembrance of him, which they are not
in a situation to do till they join the visi
ble Church. It is not enough that we re
member Christ, but we are to do some
thing in remembrance of him. "Do this"
—partake of the broken bread and pour
ed.out wine—"do this in remembrance of
mo."
lie who has a disposition to negloct to
obey one—any one—of God's commands,
lacks the very spirit and essence of reli
gion. True religion is cheerful obedience
to all God's commandnients. If you have
a right to disobey this command of Christ,
another has a right to disobey another
command, and so on, till all God's com
mands are disregarded, and that, too, by
right. If converts have a right to neglect
to join the visible Church, what would
shortly become of the Church ? It would
run out. If there is no visible Church,
there will be no Gospel ordinances, no
Itinisturs, no Sabbaths and no religion.
'-[WEBSTER
But I trust you are not disposed to wish
to be excused from obeying any of the Sa
viour's commands.; especially that one
which was given just before he died for
your sins, and which directs you to do
something in remembrance of his suffer
ings atalieath. No; you aro determin
ed, by divine aid, to 2hey this, and all his
other commands, becauso you love him.—
May God's blessing rest upon you! Amen.
SHUTTING DOORS.
"Don't look so cross, Edward, when I
call you back to shut the doors ; gran'pa's
old bones feel the March wind ; and be
sides, you have got to spend your life in
shutting doors, and might as well begin to
learn now."
"Do forgive me, gran'pa, I ought to he
ashamed to be cross to you. But what do
you meam ? I a'n't going to be a sexton.—
I am going to college, and then I'm going
to be a lawyer.
Well, admitting all that ; I imagine
'Squire Edward will have a good
many doors to shut, if ever he makes
much of a man.
"What kind of doors ? Do tell me
gmn'pa."
"Sit down a minute, and give you a
list."
"In the first place, the door of your ear*
must bo closed against the bad language
and evil counsel of the boys and young
men you will meet at school and college,
or you will be undone. Let them once
get possession of that door, and I would
not give much for Edward C-'s future
prospects: . .
"The door of your eyes too, must be shut
against bad books, idle novels, and low
wicked newspapers, or your studies will
be neglected, and you will grow up a use
less, ignorant man. You will have to
close thorn against the fine things exposed
for sale in the store windows, or will nev
er learn to lay up money, or have any left
to g i ve away .
„
The door of your lips will need especial
care, for they guard an unruly member.
tohirh mal,no errant *lea of *hn hart rnmnn.
ny let in at the eyes and ears.' That door
is very apt to blow open, and if not con
stantly watched, will let out angry, trifling
or vulgar words. It will backbite some
times worse than a March wind, if it is left
open too long. I would advise you to keep
it shut much of the time till you have laid
up a store of knowledge, or at least, til you
have something valuable to say.
<.The inner door of your heart must be
well shut against temptation, for consci
ence the donr keeper grows very indiffer
ent if you disregard his call ; and some- 1
times drops asleep at his post, and when
you may think you are doing very well,
you are fast going down to ruin.
"If you carefully guard the outside doors
of the eyes and ears and lips, you will
keep out of many cold blasts of stn—which
get in before you think.
..This *shutting* door,' you see, Eddy,
wilr be a serious business; ono on which
your well-doing in this life, and the next
depends.”
A Mod o 1 Dun.
An editor "Out West," thus talks to his
non-paying subscribers and patrons. If
his appeal does not bring the 6 petoter," it
would be useless to ever try again.
"Friends, Patrons, Subscribers, and
3dvertisers ! Hear us for our debts, and
get ready that you inn pay; trust us, we
arc in need, and have regard for our need,
fur you have been long trusted; acknowl
edge your indebtedness, and diveinto your
pockets, that you may promptly fork over.
If there be any among you, one single
patron that don't owe us something, then
to him we Say—step aside ; consider your
self a gentleman. If the rest wish to
know why we dun them, this is our an
swer. Not that we care about cash our
selves, but our creditors do. Would you
rather that we go to jail, and you go free,
than you pay your debts, and we all keep
moving As we agreed, we have work
ed for you; as we contracted, we have fur
nished our paper to you; as we promised,
we have waited upon you, but ns you
don't pay, we dun you. Here are agree
ments for job work; contracts for subscrip
tion; promises for long credits, and duns
for deferred payment. Who is there so
mean that he don't take a paper ? If arty,
he needn't speak—we don't mean
--
Who is there so green that lie don't adver
tise ? If any, let him slide--lie ain't the
' chap either. Who is there so bad that ho
don't pay the printer If any, let him
shout—for he's the man we're after. His
name is Legion, and he's been owing us
for one, two, three, four, five, six, seven
and years—long enough to make us
poor, and himself rich at our expense. If
the above appeal to his conscience doesn't
awake him to a sense of justice, we shall
have to try w lint virtue there is In writs
and constables."
VOL. 20. NO. 21.
Audi Ainachs.
POPPING TILE QUESTION.
[Thu Knickerl”cker hits oft'admirably in the
following lore declaration the regular clank and
racket of a locomotive engine under full head
way. The lover's "brakes" and those of the
locomotive are most scientifically put on:
By those cheeks of lovely line ;
By those eyes of deepest blue,
Which thy very soul looks through,
As if, forsoOth, those clear blue eyes
Were portals into Paradise ;
By that alabaster brow,
By that hand as white as snow,
By that proud, angelic form,
Jay that rounded, classic arm ;
By those locks of raven hair,
By those vermeil lips. I swear,
By the ocean,. by the air,
By the lightnmgs and the thunder,
By all things on earth and under,
By the electric telegraph ;
By my future "better-half,"
By our vespers, by our dreams,
By our nation and Te Dooms,
By young Cupid . , by my Bfuse ;
By - whatever else you choose,
Yes, 1 swear by all creation,
And this endless "Yankee nation"
That
love
yott
like
tar.
tion ?
Whistles and stops.]
Q' An office-holding chap being as-
Iced how he contrived to hold office un
der successive administrations, replied,
“that administrations must be darned smart
that could change oftener than he could."
Kr The age is getting more and more
nice. OIA rose by any other name would
smell as sweet," is now rendered as fol
lows: flower is capable of exerting.
the same titilatory influence under any
and every cognomen.
AWFUL.—"Aiti i toii afraid you will
break, while falling so?", said a chap in
the pit of a circus, to the clown.
""Why so V asked the latter.
"maul° you are a rummer.—
me wag. - The clown fainted.
L'lrf Alderman Binns being called upon
by a woman in great red hot haste and
quite indignant at an expression used to
her, addressed him thus :
"Alderman, Mr. Snooks, toy next door
neighbor, called Inc a thief; can't I make
him prove it I"
“Well," sikid the alderman, after a me.
ment's deliberation, "you may, but I think
you had better not."
A GAL's WASTE.-A school boy 'down
east' who was noted among his play-fel
lows for his frolics with the girls was read
ing aloud in the Old Testament, when
coming to the phrase, .tnakiug waste pla
ces glad,' he was asked by the pedagogue
what it meant. The youngster paused—
scratched his head—but could give no an
swer; another cried out ;'t know what if
means, master. It means hugging the
gals ; for Tom Ross is alters hugging 'em
around the waist, and it makes as glad as
cnn be.'
largo and brilliant party was gi
ven in fashionable circles a few weeks
since, not a hundred miles from Boston,
and the festivites were kept to so late an
hour that the fair hostess became com
pletely wearied out. Some fifteen min
utes after the Indy supposed the last of
her guests had left, she walked into the
supper-room, where the gas had been tur
ned, and gave vent to her wearied spirit
by ejaculating ~ Thank God, they aro all
sttpd and gone !" "Not quite all," squea
ked out a voice ; I have returned to find an
earring which I supposed was dropped
while at the supper table ! The hostess'
chagrin can be better imagined than descri
bed, when on turning round she discover
ed one of her nearest fashionable neigh
bors.
MATERIAL,FAITI -.. -- 011 r school teacher
was one day catechising a class of little
urchins, after they had read their accus
tomed lesson in the reader, on the sub
ject of faith. No ono could tell her what
faith vas although they had often read it.
All her illuStrations on the subject were
ineffectual they did not get the idea.—
"Now suppose," said she, "I should tell
you that there was a leg of taulton in that
beat sailing along there, (pointing to a
boa just passing a few rods from them,)
you would all believe me—would you not?'
Yes, ma'am." "Well that is faith. How
many will remember this tomorrow ?"
On the morrow, the little tryoes came
up with sparkling eyes aid buoyant spir
its, feeling assured that they could readi
ly tell what wartho prominent character
istic of faithful Abraham. "Who cats
tell me, today, what faith is ?" interroga
ted the teacher. 'f he whole class, unhes
itatingly and unanimously, ejaculated, "d
leg of multlon is a boat !"