~:
at . liiit . .. )1 :
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BY WM. BREWSTER
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*clot
CONSTANCY.
Believe them not, time cannot change
The heart that loves but thee;
MI else may change, all but my love—
'Tin linked with destiny I , •
They call mo wayward, lull of change,
And ever prone to rove;
Believe them tiot, my heart still wears
The elision thy bertuty.were.
Thou art present with me every where,
Alike in grief and joy;
When pleasure gilds the fleeting hours,
Or when eurth'serties annoy.
Thy smiles, that with their magi: power,
Have captive seized my heart,
Like spirits over with me dwell',
And ever joy impart.
They tell of moments when our thoughts
To all the world seemcddead;
When cherish'd dreams were realized,
And life's forebodings fled ;
When fond, fund hopes were warmly breathed,
To ears that lost no sound,
Each by the other's voice entranced,
Unconsciously spellbound,
And thinkest though I'll prove untrue ;
Forget my plighted yowl
Deep as I loved when it was pledged,
Still deeper love I now!
And timo shall never, never change
The heart that loves but thee ;
All else may change, all but my love ;
'Tis Holed with destiny I
ctilantous.
From the Spiritual Uuiverse,
AN ENORMOUS STORY.
New Developments in Ghostology—Spirits
Talking Aloud and Baking Stapjacks.
HARTFORD, Trumbull Co., Ohio,
January 8,1855•
S. W. Smith, Esq—Dear Sir:—The
lacts given in the inclosed affidavit of John
Richardson aro of public notoriety here,
and can no doubt be sustained by any
amount of evidence. You arc at liberty
to make any use of the affidavits you choose,
Respcctly, Was. J. Baum.
The Stale of Ohio, Trumbull ("minty,
as.—Before me, Wm. J. Bright, a Justice
of the Peace in and far the county afore
said, personally came Jno, Richardson,
who, being duly sworn, deposes as follows :
I am a resident of Patnytuiniany town
ship, Mercer county, l'a ; live four miles
I EU NO STAR ABOVE TUE UOIIIZON, PLUMBING LIGHT TO WIDE MI, DDT TUE INTELLIGENT; PATRIOTIC, MUTED WHIG PARTY OP TUE UNITED STATINL"-EWETOTER.
east of the centre of Hartford, Ohio ; have
lived where I now reside some nine months.
About five weeks ago my attention was
arrested by a very sharp and loud whistle
seemingly in a small closet in one corner
of my house. This was followed by loud
and distinct raps, as loud as a person could
conveniently rap with the knuckles. The
closet door is secured or fastened by a
wood button that. turns over the edge of
the door. This button would frequently
turn, and the door open , without any visi
ble agency. This was followed by a
loud and distinct (apparently) human
voice, which could be herd perhaps, fifty
rods.
After repeating a very loud and shrill
scream several times, the voice fell to a
lower key, and in a tone about as loud as
ordinary conversation, cotnmencet speak
ing in a plain and distinct manner, assu
ring the family that we would not be burn
ed, and requesting us to have no fear of
any injury, as we were in no danger.—
Those manifestations being altogether un
accountable to myself and family, we
searched the entire house, to find, if pos
sible, the cause of this new and startling
phenomenon, but found no one in or about
the premises but the family. Again we
were startled by a repetition of the
screams, which were repeated perhaps a
dozen of times, when the voice proceeded
to inform us that the conversation came
from the spirit of two brothers, calling
themselves Henry and George Force, and
claimed to have been murdered some elev
en years since, and then gave us what
they represented as a history of the trage
dy, and insisted that we should call on
some of the neighbors to hear the disclo
sure. John Ranney, Henry Moore, and
some dozen others, were then called in, to
whom the history wa, detailed at length.
We could readily discover a difference
in the voice professing to come from the
two spirits.
$1 25
1 50
2 50
4 00
About the third day after these manifes
tations commenced, my wife brought a
ham of meet into the house, and laid it
on the table, and stepped to the other side
of the room, when it was carried by some
invisible agency from four to six feet from
the table, and thrown upon the floor. At
another time a bucket of water was,
without human hands, taken from the ta
ble carried some six feet, and poured upon
the floor. This was followed by n large
dining table turning round from its posi
tion at the side of the room, and carried
forward to the stove, a distance of more
than six feet. This was done while there
was no person near it. The same table
has since that time been thrown en its side
without human agency, and often been
made to dance about while the family were
eating around it. At one time dishes,
knives and forks, were thrown from the
table to the opposite side of the room,
breaking the dishes to pieces.
On another occasion the voice reques
ted Mrs, Richardson to remove the dishes
from the table which was done immediate•
ly, when the'table commenced rocking vi
olently back and forward, and continued
the motion, so the dishes could not be
washed upon it, but were placed in a ves
sel and set upon the floor, from which a
number of them flew from the tub to the
chamber floor, overhead, and were thus
broken to pieces What crockery remain
ed we attempted to secure by placing it in
a cupboard, and shut the doors, which
were violently thrown open, and the dish
es flew like lightening, one after another
against the opposite side, and broke to
pieces. At another time a drawer in the
table was, while there was no person near
drawn out, and a plate that had been placed
there carried across the room and broken
against the opposite wall. And this kind
of demonstration has continued until near•
ly all the crockery about the house has
been broken and destroyed.
At different times the drawers of a stand
sitting in a bed-room, have been taken out,
and at one time carefully placed' on a bed.
A largo stove boiler has been, while on
the stove, filled with water, tipped up, and
caused to stand on one end, and the wa
ter was turned out upon the floor, and at
this time taken off from the stove, and car
ried some six feet, end set down upon the
floor, and alit! while untouched by any
person. A tea kettle has often been taken
from the stove in the same manner, and
throw upon the floor. At one time a spi
der, containing some coffee for the pur
pose of browning, was taken from the
stove, carried near the chamber floor, and
then thrown upon the floor. And fre
quently, while Mrs. Richardson has been
baking bud.7wh.at cakes on the stove, the
griddle has, in the name unaccountable
manner, been taken from the stove and
thrown across the house ; and often cakes
have been taken from the griddle while
baking, and disappeared entirely.
HUNTINGDON, PA:, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25, 1855.
At one time the voice, speaking to my
wife, said it (the spirit) could bake cakes
for. George, a boy eating at the table
Mrs. Richardson stepped away front the
stove, when the batter (already prepared
for baking cakes) was by some unseen
agency taken from a crock sitting near the
stove, and placed upon the griddle, and
turned at the proper time, and when done,
taken from the griddle, and placed upon
the boy's plate, at the table. i'he voice
then proposed to bake a cake for Jane, my
daughter, who was then at work about the
house. The cake was accordingly baked
in the same manner as before stated, and
carried across the room, and placed in the
girl's hand.
During all these occurrences, the talk
ing from the two voices and others has
continued, and stall continues daily, to
gether with such manifestations as I have
detailed, with many others not named.—
The conversation, as well as the other de
monstrations, have been witnessed almost
daily by myself and faintly, as well as by
scores of persons who have vi.ited my
house to witness these strange phenome
na.
I will only add, that the spirit (the
voice) gave as a reason for breaking crock
ery and destroying property, that it is done
to convince the world of the existence of
spirit presence.
•
JOHN RICHARDSON.
Sworn to and subscribed before me, this
Bth day of January, 1855.
Wm. J. BRIGHT, Justice of the Pence.
Eliza Jane Richadson, being duly sworn,
says :—I am the wife of John Richardson,
who made the above affidavit. I bare
witnessed all the manifestations given by
my husband in his affidavit, and many
others, such as singing by tho voices, and
writing without human agency.
ELIZA JANE EICIIARDSON.
Sworn to and subscribed before me,
this Bth day of January, 1853.
Wm. J. BRIGHT, Justice of the Peace.
James H. Moore, being duly sworn,
says : I have witnessed many of the oc
currences given by Jolts Richardson in
his affidavit, such as conversing with the
voices, seeing the table move about, &c.
JAMES 11. MORE.
Sworn to and subscribed before me, this
Bth day of January, 1855,
Wm. J. Drumm, Justice of. the Pence.
SIN AND FOLLY OF SCOLDING,
Fret not thyself to do evil.—Psn'an xxxii. 2,
1. It is sin against God. It is evil
and only evil, and that continually. Da
vid understood both human nature and the
law of God. lie says :—' 4 Fret not illy•
self in any wise to do evil." If you can
not speak without fretting or scolding,
keep silence.
2. It destroys off ction. No one ever
did, ever can, or ever will love a habitual
fretter, fault finder, or scolder. Husbands,
wives, children, relatives, or domestics,
have no affection for peevish fretful, fault
finders. Few tears are shed ove the graves
of such. Persons of high moral principle
may tolerate them—may bear with them;
but they cannot love them more thou the
sting of nettles or noise of musquitoes.—
Many a man has been driven to the tavern.
and to dissipation, by a peevish, fretful
wife. Many a wife has been made miser
able by a peevish, fretful husband.
3. It is Mebane of domestic happiness.
A fretful. peevish, complaining, fault-finder
in a family, is like the continual chafing of
an inflamed sore. Woe to the man, woman.
or child who is exposed to the influence
of such a temper in another. Nine•tenths
of all domestic trials and unhappiness
spring from this source. Mrs. D. is of
this temperament. She wonders her hus-
band is not more fond of her company—
that her children give her so much trouble'
—that domestics do not like to work for
her—that she cannot secure the good will
of young people. The truth is, she is so
peevish and fretful. Children fear her, and
do not love her. She never gained the af
fections of a young person, and never will
till she leaves off fretting.
4. II defeats the end of family govern.
moll. Good family government is the
blending authority with affection, so as to
secure love and respect. Indeed, it is the
great secret of managing young people.—
Now, your fretless may inspire fear, but
they always make two faults where they
correct one. Scolding at a child, fretting
at a child, sneering at a child, taunting a
child, treating a child as though it had no
feelings, inspires a dread and dislike, and
fosters those very dispositions from which
many of the faults of childhood proceeed.
Mr. G. and Mrs F. are of this class.—
Their children are made to mind ; but howl
Mrs. F. frets and scolds her children.—
She is severe upon their faults. She
teems to vetch theta in order to find fault,
She sneers at them ; treats them as though
they had no feelings—seldom gives them
a command without a threat, and a long.
running, fault-finding commentary. When
she chides it is not done in a dignified
manner ; she raises her voice, puts on a
cross look, threatens, srikes them, pinches
their ears, thumps their heads, &c. The
chileren cry, pout, sulk, and poor Mrs. F.
has to do her work over pretty often.—
Then she will find fault with her husband
because he does not fall in with her ways,
or chime with her as chorus.
5. Fretting and scolding make hypo
crite. As fretters never receive confi
dence and affection, so no one wants to
tell them any thing disagreeable, and pro
cure for themselves a fretting. Now, chil
dren will conceal as much a. they can
from such persons. They cannot make
up their minds to be frank and open hear
ted. So husbands conceal ; from their
wives, and wives from their husbands.—
For a tea,, may brave a lion, but he likes
not to come in contact with nettle and mus-
quitoes.
6. It destroys one's pearc .of mind.—
The mere one frets the more be may. A
fretter will always have enough to fret at,
he or she has the bump of order and neat
ness largely developed. Something will
always be out of place. There p ill al
ways be dirt somewhere. Others will not
eat right, look right, talk right ; he will not
do these things so as to please them.—
And fretters are generally so elfish as to
have no regard for any one's omfort b
their own.
7. It ix a noarkof a codger r:
positi:at --
Some persons have so much gall in their
dispositions, are so selfish. that they have"
no regard for the feelings of others. All
things must be done to please them. They
make their husbands, wives, children, do
mestics. the conductors by which their
spleen and ill-nature are discharged.—
Woe to the children who are exposed to
such influences. It makes them callous
and unfeeling, and when they grow up .
pursue the same course with their own
children, or those entrusted to their man
agement, and thus the rac, of Petters is
perpetuated. Any person who is in the
habit of fretting or sneering, taunting their
husbands, wives, children, or domestics,
shows either a bad disposition or else ill
breeding.—N. E. Farmer.
A Clergyman Engaged to be Married
to teiien, Ladies.
We heard yesterday of a series of vil
monies perpetrated recently by a wolf in
sheep's clothing, of a character to bring
the reverend impostor, if caught, to the
penitentiary. His name is John Howard
Wilson, and he has been preaching for
some time past at Cheviot. Being en
dowed with a soft oily tongue. and a sleek
appearance, he tried his killing accom
plishments indiscriminately among the
unmarried belles of that suburban village
with such success, that he engaged him
self to be married to no less than eleven,
some of whom he borrowed money from
upon pretence of making the necessary
arrangements towards housekeeping. Of
one young lady lie obtained fifty dollars,
which he laid between the leaves of a Bi
ble in her parlor, to be used the day pre
vious to the wedding; but when, upon
hearing of the pranks of the sanctimoni
ous Lothario, she looked into the hiding
place, the bunk bills were non cat.
The manner which led to the discovery
of his multifarious engagements was, that
a couple of the betrothed met, by acci
dent, in a fashioaable dry goods establish
ment in this city. A fter mutual recogni
tion, they proceeded to examine various
fabrics, and make purchases. Singularly
enough, their testes assimilated so exactly
that young lady No.• 1 remarked to young
lady No. 2 that she thought it was very
strange. Hereupon young lady No. 2
replied that so if was ; but if she (young
lady No. 1) could keep a secret she would
tell her one.
No. 1 promised (what feminine would
not ?) that her lips should be eternally
sealed, when, blushing like a peony, her
companion whispered in her ear that she
was going to be married.
"To whom?" cxclatmed the excited
No. 1.
Another promise of secrecy, and the
name of the Reverend John Howard Wil
son was softly breathed.
Who?" exclaimed No. 1, while her
earnest gaze betokened her astonishment.
The name was again repeated, arid
forthwith young lady number one becomes
suddenly dizzy, and, but for the application
ass! ituluisle and cold water, a fainting ex
hibition would have ensued. After a
while, when sufficiently cairn to explain,
she informed young lady number two that
she too, was under an engagement of marri
age to the reverend deceiver, end :.ho was
then making purchases of her wedding
garments. Another kettle of fish wit,
the consequence of this disclosure for the
young lady number two immediately went
through the same motions as her prede
cessor, and again the pungent mixture and
cold water were in requisition. The dis
consolate damsels returned, without their
purchases, to the quiet village, where they
speedily . proclaimed the villany of the ras
cally pastor, who, getting wind that all
was discovered, made tracks between two
days during the past week.
Since his exit it has been discovered that
he sometime ago forged a draft on Mr. El
liot, of the Methodist Book Concern; which
was honored. No tidings have been
heard of him since his absguatulation, but
we presume he will turn up under another
name, when he can discover a convenient
field to reap a harvest by playing upon the
credulity of the susceptible feminies who
have a penchant for love and sanctity.--
Cincinnati Enquirer.
A GHOST IN LOVE.
A farmer who had lately become a wid
ower was arroused at midnight by a loud
barking of his dog. On going to it the
animal.displayed extreme terror, where
upon the farmer took his gun and proceed
ed to an inspection. All at once he saw
a phantom, clothed in a white sheet, rise
behind the hedge. The farmer turned
deadly pale, and his limbs shook with dis
may. He, however, contrived to ejacu
late.
"If you come from God, speak ; if from
the devil, vanish !"
"Wretch !" exclaimed the phantom,
"I am your deceased w.fe, come from the
grave to warn you Lot to marry Mario
to whom you are making love.
The only woman to succeed one is Henri
etta B— Marry her, or persecution
and eternal torment shall b r your doom !"
This strange address from the goblin, in•
stead of dismaying the farmer, restored
his courage. He accordingly rushed on
`the ghostly visitor and stripping elf its
sheet, discoverey the fair Henrietta B—
herself, looking extremely foolish. It is
said the farmer, admiring the girl's trick,
has had the bans published for his mar
riage with her.—Gat , ,lteml (Eng.) O:'.-
server.
The Bibie
The 13ible must be the invention of good
men •, r angels, of bad men or devils, or of
God.
It could not be the invention of good
men or angels for they neither wot.dt!
could make it book ~ t id tell lies all the
time they were writing it, saying, "Thus
smith the Lord," when it was their own
invention.
It could not be the invention of 6e./ men
or devils, for they could not make a book
which commands all duty, forbids all sin,
and condemns themselves to all eternity.
I therefore draw this conclusion : the
Bible must be given by inspiration of God.
--Simpson.
Mir Two Irishmen, who were travel
ing together, got out of money and being
in want of drink of a whiskey, devised the
following ways and means :
Patrick, catching a frog out of a brook,
went ahead, and the first tavern he crime
to, asked the landlord what sort of a crater
it was ?
'lt is a frog.' replied the landlord.
4 No, sir' said Pat, is a moose.'
'lt's a frog," persisted the landlord
It is a mouse,' declared Put, and I
will leave it to the first traveller diet comes
along for a pint of whiskey.'
Agreed,' said the landlord.
Murphey soon arrived, and to him the
appeal was [node. After much examine.
tiun and deliberation he declared it to be
a mouse and the landland, in spite of his
senses, paid the bet.
GUEISINO AT HARD WORDS.--A mission
ary in 1549 stepped ashore front a flat
boat on the Kennebec, with some tracts,
to speak to an old woman who was knit
ting under a low tree by a shanty. It was
the height of the cholera panic.
"Aly good woman," said tilt) evangilist,
as he offeied her a tract, "have you the
gospel I"
" No sir, we haven't," replied the old
crone, "but they have got it awfully down
to Bangor."
Tno WORD "ITS."—Through the whole
of our authorized version of the Bible,
"its" does not onoe occur ; the work which
it now performs being accomplished by .
"his" cc "her" applied as freely to inani
mate things as to persons, or else by "there
of," or "of it." Trench remarks that "its . '
occurs but three times in all Shakspeure i
and he doubts whether it is to Paradise
itnb mor.
THE DoiST - ICK - I,IthatALCUNTISIITiIi
FIRST COTIPLETE COLLECTION.
Original IPWS of Men and Things.
lIIMIOROCS ASPECTS OF AMERICAN
LIFE,
XII—DOESTICKS RUNS WITH THE
'ASHEEN."
NEW Y oak, Oct. 80,„1854.
70 Hundred and One, Narrow st.
I ant not known by the cognomen of
“Mose," nor do I answer to the name of
"Syksey"--neither as a general thing do
I promenade the middle of Bronaway
with my pantaloons tucked into my boots.
Still, by way of a new excitement I lately
joined the Fire Department, Lind connec
ted myself with the company of Engine
07.
Bought my uniform, treated the compa
ny, took up my quarters in the hunk room,
where J. slept by night in a bed occupied
in the day time by n big yellow dog.—
First night, went to bed with my boots on,
ready for an alarm. At last it came—seiz•
ed tha rope with the rest of the boys ;
started on a run ; tugged and toiled till we
got her into the l th district, four miles
and a half from home; found the-alarm
had been caused by a barrel of shavings,
and the conflagration had extinguished it
self; had to drag her clear back; tired
:cost to death ; it wasn't funny at all ;
turned m ; half en hour ; new alarm ; start
ed again --hose ?0 laid in the same alley,
got our apparatus jammed on the corner;
light; 97 victorious ; got our inachine out,
and carried off the forewheal of 80's can
reached the fire ; big
nigger standing en the hydrant ; elected
myself appraiser and numioneer ; knocked
him down without ray bidder ; took wn-
ring,e on our tool
ter; got our streatn on the fire; Inn ; woe
al till my arms ached ; let go to rest• fore
man hit me rear the head with a trumpet,
and told me to go ahead ; thought d—n,
but kept nt it ;•chihlren in the garret ; hor
rible situation ; gallant fireman made a
rush up the ladder; battled his way through
the smoke—re appeared with a child in
each arm, arid hiF pocket full of teaspoons.
Old gentleman front the country; tench
excited; wanted to help, but didn't exact
ly know how; lie rushed into a fourth ste•
ry bud room ; threw the mirror out of the
wind iw; frantically endeavored to hurl
the dressing table after it ; seized the coal
scuttle; hurriedly put in the poker, boot-
ied them demi sh,:r3,:titd teH
in a pince of safety four blocks away,
came back on a run, into the parlor ; took
up the door mat, wrapped up an empty
decanter in it, and transported it safely
into the born of the nearest neighbor ; he
kept at work; by dint of heroic exertion,
he at various times deposited, by piece,
the entire kitchen cooking stove in the
next street, uninjured; and at lost, after
(al-inking the piano to pieces with an nx,
in order to save the lock, and filling his
pocket with the sofa -castors,
.he was seen
to !flake his final exit from the back yard,
with n length of stove pipe in each hand,
the toasting fork tucked behind his ear,
and two ,dozen muffin•rings his hat,
which was surmounted by a large sized
frying pan.
During the next week there Were set,
oral alarms—fire in a big block full of
paupers—first man in the building; earn--
ed down stairs in my arms two helpless,
uedresi.-cd children, thereby saving their
valuable lives; on giving them to their
mother, she, amid a •vhirhvind of thanks,.
impartad the gratifying intelligence that
one was afflicted with the measles, and
the other had the Mic iga n itch. Fire in
a boarding-school; dashed up a ladder;
tumbled through a window; entered n
bedroom ; smoke so thick I couldn't see
cau,
...it up in my arms a feminine :Teci
men in a long night gown ; got back to the
window; tried to go down; }adder broke
under me; stuck adhesively to the young
lady; and after unexampled exertions, de
posited her safely in the next house, where
I discovered that I had rescued from the
devouring element, the only child of the
blacl.• cook. Fire iu a store house—went
on the roof; explosion; found myself in
somebody's cellar, with one leg in a soap
barrel, and my hair full of fracturbd hen's
eggs ; discovered that I had been blown
over a Church. and had the weathercock
still remaining in the rear of my demolish.
ed pantaloons. Fire in a liquor store—
hose burst ; brandy "lying round loose ;"
gin •'cenvaynient," and old Monongahela
absolutely begging to be protected from
further dilution ; Croton water too much
for my delicate constitution ; carried home
on n shutter. Fire in a Cbureb—ratho.
VOL. 20. NO. 17.
lic—little marble images.all round the room
in niches; wall began to totter; statues
began to fall ; St. Andrew knocked my
fire hat over my eyes; Saint Peter threw
his whole weight on my big toe ; Saint
Jerome hit me a clip over the head which
laid me sprawling, when a piettlre of the
Holy Family fell and covered me up.like
a bed guilt. Fire in a big clothing store
—next day our foreman sported a new
silk velvet vest, seven of the men exhibi
ted twelve dollar doeskin pants, and the
black boy who sweeps out the bunk-room,
and scours the Engine had a new hat, and
a floating red cravat, proserm•d as I hear!.
by the proprietor of the stock of goods,
as an evidence of his appreciation of their
endeavors to save hie property. I didn't
get any new breeches; on the contrary,
lost my new overcoat, and got damaged
myself. Tell you how—fire out, order
came 'stake up 07 ;" took off the hose ;
turned her round; got the boys together,
and started for home ; corner of the street
hook and ladder 100, (hutch,) engine 73,
(Irish) hose SS, (Yankee,) and our me
comp:ly came to contact; machines get
jammed ; polyglot swearing by the strength
of the companies ; got all mixed up; fight;
one of 85's men hit foreman of hook and
ladder 100 over the head with a spanner ;
97's engineer clipped in
with a truinpet; 7:i retaliated with a pav
ing stone; men of all the companies went
in; resolved to "go in" myself; went in;
went out again as fast as_ I could,
black eye, three teeth•{indtgesttble, I have
every reason to believe) in my stomachi
intermingled with my supper, my red
shirt in carpet rags, and my knuckles
skinned, as if they had been pawned to a
Chatham st. Jew, got on a hydrant and
watched the fun; SB's boys whipped eve
was doubled up
rything; 73's best am
a kin the place
ur Gt . 07's fellows
,e a jack !mil
were lying under the machine with their
eyes in mourning; hook and ladder took
home two thirds of their coittpany on the
truck ; and the last I saw of their foreman
he was lying in the middle' of - the street,
with his trumyet smashed fiat, his boots
under his head, and his pockets inside
out. Four policemen on the opposite cor•
ner, saw the whole row. On the first in•
dication of a fight, they pulled their bets
down over their eyes, coveted up their
stars, and slunk down the nearest alley.—
Got home, resigned my commission, made
my will, left the company my red shirt
and fire cap. Sgon enough of fire service;
on't regret my exr,erience, butlour;ev4
pr my lost teeth, and my ne.v overcoat.
Sorrowing, sorrowfully yours,
Q. K. PIIILANDER Dossnuns, P. B.
P. S.—Have just met the foreman of
78—he had on my late lamented over
coat ; atu't big enough to lick him—mag,
nanimously concluded to let him alone.
(1. lc. P. I)., P. 13.
Rules for Self• Government.
Mt A PRUDENT OLD OENTLEMAN,
Always sit next to the carver, if you
can, at dinner
Ask no woman her age.
Be civil to all rich uncles and aunts.
Never joke with a policeman.
Take no notes, or gold, with you to a
Fancy Bazaar—nothing but silver.
Your oldest hat, of course, for an even
ing party.
Don't • e lay at che,s e..ith a widow.
Never contradict a mart who stutters.
Pull down the blind bek.re you put on
your wig.
Make friends with the steward on board
a steatner—there's no kewing how soon
you nay be placed , in his power.
• In every strange house it is as well to
inquire where the brandy is kept—only
think If you were taken ill in the tatidOle
I the night.
Never answer t crossing-sweeper.—
Pay him, or else pass quickly and silently
on. One word, and you are lost.
Keep your own secrets. 'fell no hu.
man being you dye your whiskers.
Never ellend a butler—the wretch•has
I too many chances of retaliation.
11 rite not one !rimy were than you
can't help. The man who keeps up a
large correspondence is a martyr tied, mt.;
to the Stake, bat to the post.
Wind up your conduct, like your watch,
once every day, examining minutely
whether yxu are "P,st" or
Ear " Bob lower yourself into tho well
and holler for help." " What for r—
"To frighten dady, and make EUtlll fun."
130 b did as desired, but got more fun than
lie bargained for. It wa3 administered
with a hickory ,pling. Distance, flvo
and a half feet.
getting gr•'ca,
is Inert