~: /11,t truttlin.go.o4 ~Ti0ur.4.14. BY WM. BREWSTER, TERMS : The "Iluxrimonox JOURNAL" is published at ho following rates : If paid in advance $1,50 If paid within six months after the-time of subscribing 1,75 If paid at the end of the year 2,00 . . And two dollars and fifty cents if not paid till after the expiration of the year. No subscription will be taken for a less period than six months, and no paper willbe discontinued, except at the option of the Editor, until allarrearages are paid. Subscribers living in distant counties,orin other States, will be required to pay invariably in advance. gip The above terms will be rigidly adhered , in all cases. ADVERTISEMENTS Will be charged at the following rates: 1 insertion. 2 do. 3 do. Six lines or less,s 25 $ 371 $ 50 One square, (Ilines,) 50 75 1 00 Two " (92 " ) 100 150 200 Three " (48 " ) 150 225 300 Business men advertising by the Quarter, Halt Year or Year, will be charged the following rates: 3 mo — . 6 IRO. 12 mo. One square, $3 00 $5 00 $8 00 Two squares, 5 00 8 00 12 00 Three squares, 750 10 00 15 00 Four squares, 900 14 00 23 00 Five squares, 15 00 25 00 38 00 Ten squares ' 25 00 40 00 60 00 Business Curds not exceeding six lines, one year, $4.00. JOR WORK : I sheet handbills, 30 topics or IT, I Gi tt 4 00 BLANICP, foolscap or less, per single quire, I 50 _ , . •, " "4 or more quires, per " I 00 Cr Extra charges will be made for henry composition. . . IR — Alt letters on business must be rosT ram to secure attention. The Law of Newspapers. 1. Subscribers who do not give express notice to thi contrary , are considered as wishing to continue their subscription. 2. If subscribers order the discontinuance of their newspapers the publisher may continue to send them until all art.' enrages are 3. If subscribers negied or refuse to take their newspapers from the qfkees to which they are direc ted, they are held responsible until they have settled their bills and ordered them discontinued. 4. If subscribers remove to other places without informing the publisher, and the newspapers are sent to the former direction, they are held responsible. 5. Persons who continue to receive or take the paper from the office, are to be considered as suh scribers and as such, equally responsible for subscrip tion, as if they had ordered thew names entered upon the publishers books. a. The Courts have also repeatedly derided that a Post Master who neglects to perform his duty ot giving reasonable notice as required by the reyida lions of the Post Office Department, of the neg lect of a person to take from the office, newspapers .addressed to him, renders the Post Master liable to .the publisher for the subscription price. qty POSTMASTERS are required by law to notify publishers by letter when their publi cations are refused or not called for by persons to whom they are sent, and to give the reason of such refusal, if known. It is also their duty to frank all such letters. We will thank post masters to keep us posted up in relation to this matter. Voljutar eiig. From the Detroit Daily Advertiser. Money is a Hard Thing to Borrow. TUNE—Same a. "Jordon. The times are so " tight," for the cash is hard to get, Though all hope they'll have some to•morrow i And every one looks blue, and are in such a (ret, For money is a had thing to borrow. So take down your "shingle" and shut op your shop, For money is a hard thing to borrow. Yes indeed The hanker looks quite brave, as you ask him for the " chink," But he pays out the "ready" with sorrow, For he cannot stand a "run," and he now be. gins to think That money is a hard thing to borrow. Let him take down his "shingle," and shut up his shop, - For money is a hard thing to borrow. Yes indeed I 'l'he politician stares, office costs a mighty lump, And the mouth of Iris purse is so narrow; It was just to get some cash that he got upon the stump, • Finding money was a hard to borrow. Let him take down his "shingle," and shut up his shop, • • For money is a hard thing to borrow. Yes indeed! The merchant is cast down with his loaded shelves in view, And no customer buys—to his sorrow; if'or soon, from Europe, he will get a billet•due, And money is a hard thing to borrow. Let him take down his " single," and abut up his shop, For money is a hard thing to borrow. Yes indeed The whiskey maker sighs, for the drouth has killed the corn, And he looks on the prospects with sorrow, For be knows his friends wont't stick when he has not a "horn," And money is a hard thing to borrow. Let him take down his "shingle," and shut up his shop, For money is a hard thing to borrow. Yes indeed! But honest men never •tear, though there comes a mighty crash, And a note should fall due on tomorrow, Just ,call on your friends, they will spare a lit• the cash, Though money is a hard thing to borrow, You can keep up your " shingle," and open wide your shop, Though money is a hard thing to borrow. Yes indeed ! 64 I SER NO STAR ABOVE TUE HORIZON, PROMISING LIGHT TO GUM 178, BUT THE INTS:LLLORNY, PATRIOTIC, UNITED WING PARTY OP THE UNITED STATES." EDUCATIONAL DEPARTMENT By J. A. Hall. The New School Law, If any friends of general education had doubts of the merits of the new features introduced into our public school system last winter, a few months' experience has served to remove those doubts and inspire the greatest confidence at present, and highest hopes for the future. The new law is now universally popular except in a few isolated districts, where the opposi tion is confined to a mere corporal's guard, composed chiefly of the open or secret enemies of any system of education design ed to reach all classes by a public tax.— Though this hostility may continue as long as selfishness or ignorance shall con tinue to mislead human judgement it need not be feared. It can accomplish nothing more than deprive the few little communi ties in which it rules, of the full benefit of our school system. The law is too firmly fixed in the affections of liberal, wise and good to be shaken by such puny efforts.— As evidence of this pleasing fact, I give below an extract from the state education al organ Mr. Burrows, who speaks from intimate knowledge, says, in the last num ber of the School Journal r $1 25 150 2 50 "It has been suggested that a full and careful article, in defence of this new and important feature in the common school system, would now be in place. But we neither have room for it nor suppose it ne cessary. The repeal of the law, in the midst of the remarkable stir it has caused all over the State in school matters, and before it is known whether that stir is not the first stage of the new and better state of things so long looked for, is an act not within the probabilities of coming events. At the moment too, when New Y3rk is seeking to. restore the office as the right' arm of her system, and when every county in Pennsylvania is organizing and moving under its influence and agency, the repeal of it would be a backward movement. Instead, therefore, of writing in opposition to its repeal, we have given the columns of this and the last number largely to the proceedings of meetings and movements mainly springing from the es tablishment of the office itself. Facts are the best arguments in such a case. And "facts," lam happy to say, are, so far as " Old Huntingdon" is concerned, all affirmative " Arguments." There is scarcely ati opposing voice amongst us.— Indeed, our population is too intelligent to " progress backwards" in any measure of reform or improvement ; and least of all in a measure of such vital importance to the virtue, happiness and prosperity of the generation now living and of those that shall come. ESSAY, Read by 311.3 NARCISSA BENEDICT, before the Huntingdon Mindy Teachers' Inati tide, Dec. 22(1, 1P54. 1 teach, thou teachest, he teaches. We teach, you teach, they teach. So says the conjugation of the verb to teach ; and it is but the reiteration of the truth, that lessons of profit are taught ev erywhere and in everything. If it were not so, why has God placed us here amid so many things too great for our compre hension. We are but the poor tools in His hand to be wielded as he pleases, and as long as it is in our power to further His commands and desires should it not be our greatest aim in life to do ourselves, and teach others the same? They teach. The planetary system teaches the almighty power and wisdom of God. Who but a spirit infinite and eter nal, could place in the heavens such beau tiful lights to guide the weary traveller as he treads the unbeaten paths of the desert? The wind and storm teach us that we must not always expect the soft and gentle zephyrs to soothe our wayward spirits, but must sometimes feel the chilling blast, if it be only to teach the power of endu rance. And deserving all our pity is the man who when assailed by the wind and storm, connot stand bravely up and let it pass over him, as it does over the mighty oak, leaving him as firm as before. If we are fortunate's favorites, the good opinion of the world is ours. Our power can on. ly be known when we encounter, resist, and endure the storms of adversity. It is enough to ennoble a person to see the migtly forest tree bend and creak, but in the end raise its head as lofty and proudly as before, saying, "I have been well tried I have passed through the stern ordeal un broken." The balmy zephyr teaches,— It appears to say, be not discouraged ; soothing indeed is its cooling freshness af. ter Its day of toil, to feel as it were the hand of God gently passed across the brow I saying, "well done good and faithful ser f v tint.' It appears to breathe in our Gpir HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4, 1855. it the word onward, onward, and still on, cease not till life ceases, and then sink in to the arms of your Savour, knowing your time was well spent, that you lived not for your own good alone, but for the good of those around you. The sturdy oak and tiny harebell teach the lesson they were intended to; they show majesty and dependence. The oak appears to say, let the thunder roar and the lightning flash, I challenge them to do the worst, and see how the brave will bear. The tiny harebell hides behind a plant bet ter able to protect it from the strong wind it seeking the gentle zephys as if cour ting their society. Note the growth of the oak from the little acorn, as with steady perseverance it fights its way through the hard wayside, is trampled down only to re-commence with more vigorous effects to renew its progress, and see how well it is repaid; for in a short period it has grown so much that to the strongest wind it only bends its head. The fragrant rose and the falling leaf teach us a lesson of the goodness of God in placing such beautiful emblems near us. Purity may be learned from the opening bud to the dying flower; its very breath inspires one to holy deeds. While the falling leaf teaches us we are passing away, and soon be forgotton—that our "summer is past and our hearvest ended ;" as the leaf falls to the earth and mingles again with the same, so shall our bodies return again to their native dtit and we shall be spoken of only as things that were. The seasons have their lessons.— Spring tells us that now is the time for ac tion and warns us that summer is ap proaching and the flowers are in bloom, showing that we are still remembered by our Creator, Autumn has come, with its seared and falling leaves, telling us that all things are passing away leaving noth ing but old winter to follow in the rear, to improve and enrich the earth with her frost and snow. When the year's profit is summed up, how little have we done deserving praise; on the contrary how much worthy of censure; how much have we learned, that the closing scenes of life are coming, that the frosts of age will soon freeze up the fountains of our heart and hope. You teach. In the school room, yes 'tis there you teach and there you are repaid by seeing your very mind as it were in stilled into others, your very thought re turned, and your appearance greeted with smiles; there you have the pleasure of thinking it was you who introduced light into chaos, and saw it diverge in splendor as the light first dawned on the untaught brain. It was there you first noticed the difference in children, with what aptness some hear, and with pleasure receive in struction, while others dull and stupid, will not be entreated to learn those things which are for their own pleasure and benefit. Your example by the wayside is an ever open lesson to the passing world. In social life you teach, and what a wide sphere you occupy there ; your example, your words and your works teach all those that come within your atmosphere. At the fireside your influence is greater than anywhere else except the school.— There you have been taught and there you must teach, kindness, submission, obedience and love. In your hours of loneliness, you first learned that all was not sunshine, but the sun is not less bright obscured by cloud.— When you feel lonely and forsaken think not it will be ever so. "But when your heart is pining, Hope that your future Lath, Each cloud a silver lining One rose in every path." In your life and in your death arc im portant lessons to be learned. If you have lived well, you have taught those who come after you how to live. You are all, and each and at all times teachers, and what and how you have taught will be a question for you all to answer. We reach. What a field of teaching is here exhibited. What a sphere for our powers. As teachers we first note the up ward steps of childhood from its A. 13. C. till it masters the problems of Euclid.— What a pleasant study is a child. To feel that it is dependent on you for a lamp to its feet, and woe be to the teacher who ne glects to train the youthful mind in ways of virtue, truth and honor. But what do we teach? Of the cares of life and the issues of immortality. And those lessons must be so given as to draw the attention of the wildest and most way ward. By a steady perseverance a loving desire to improve your charge, and your self, order and regularity, a firm govern ment, remembering that order is not al ways preserved by the frowning brow, but by a steady rein, as the driver c9ntrols the spirit of a vicious horse• Beach. Are you learninghomme now an humble effort to perform a duty. There are no lessons I teach in my school-room to my scholars of more importance to them than is this lesson for you; for duty by the poet is said to be the stern daughter of the voice of God. Thou art victory and law, When empty terrors overawe; Give unto me made lowly wise, The spirit of selfsacrifice. (stiert . Mtg. The Moss Bose. The Angel of the flowers one day Beneath a rose tree sleeping lay— That spirit to whom power is given To bathe young buds in dew from heaven. Awaking from his light repose The Angel whispered to the rose— " Ah, fondest object of my care, Still fairest found where all are fair— For the sweet shade thou givest me, Ask what thou wilt, 't is granted thee." "Then," said the Rose, with deepened glow, " On me another grace bestow." The Angel paused in silent thought; " What grace was there that flowers bad not?" 'T was but a moment—o'er the Rose A veil of Moss the Angel throws; And robbed in nature's simplest weed, Could there a flower that rose exceed. Pis td.lantom. CULTIVATION OF TREES, TRANSPLANTING.—To transplant a tree properly, and in such a manner as to check its growth as little as possible, it must be taken up with the entire mass of its roots, as nearly as possible. Pew persons who dig a tree are aware that they are cutting off and leaving in the ground, nine-tenths of the net-work of finely branching fibres. 'The best modern practice embraces the following requisites, after the tree has been carefully dug up, the soil properly enrich• ed, and the holes prepared foi-their recep tion. 1. Paring off with a knife. those parts of the roots which have been bruised or wounded with the spade. so as to prevent decay. 2. If the weather is dry, or the roots have become dried out of the ground, dip ping them into a bed of soft mud, to coat their surface. 3. Setting the tree no deeper than it was before, except it bean inch or two to allow the settling of the soil. 4. Spreading out the fibres in every direction as widely and evenly as possible, while fine mould is sprinkled or sifted among them to fill up the hole 5. Dashing in a few quarts of water when the hole is nearly filled, or by pour ing it from a watering-pot while filling, to settle the earth closely among all the fine roots, and leave no interstices. Afterwards, the filling is completed by %%layer of dry, mellow earth. This mode of settling the earth is much better than treading with the foot. SEASON FOR TRANSPLANTINO.-A great deal of arguinent has been used in favor of autumn and spring transplanting re spectively, and each season has its strenu ous advocates. As a general rule, we advise planters to do the work when they have time to do it well ; for after all, the treatment of trees has more to do with their success, at least twenty-fold, than the season of the year for setting. AFTER .MANAGEMENT AND CULTIVATION. —The young orchard having been prop. erly transplanted, the most important part of the management is yet to come. The three chief requisites under {his head, are watering, nuckhing, and cultivation of soil. Watering.—lf the other two requisites are attended to, it is very rare that any water is needed by the newly transplanted tree. Before the leaves open, very little moisture escapes through its stem and branches. Pouring on large quantitieo of water at this time, is therefore not only needless, but often very hurtful, by taus ing water soaked roots, and tending to in duce decay. The best way in which wa ter may be applied to such trees, is to wet the bark every day at evening, and oftener if they a:e shrivelled, maintaining a moist surface if necessary by a thin coating of straw over the stem. Trees apparently dead have been restored to full foliage by this process. After their expansion the leaves throw off water rapidly. But even then, water will do more harm than good, unless prop erly applied. We have known many trees killed by drouth, occasioned by wa tering A little has been poured upon the surface, but which never reached the roots, and caused only a hard crust, depri ving the soil of that fine sponge like quality which enables it to retain moiJtpre.— Whenever it becomes requisite to apply water, a few inches of the top should be taken off; the water poured in directly on the roots, and then the earth replaced, ta king care to inake it fine and mellow. Mulching, in connexion with a mellow surface, will in nearly all cases entirely obviate watering. This is nothing more that covering the ground about the tree with old straw, coarse barn-yard litter, leaves from the woods, saw-dust, tan, or other material tending to retain the mois ture of the roil, which is otherwise con stantly escaping from the earth below.— It is usually applied much too thinly, and in too small a circle about the tree, We have already shown that the roots extend to great distances. It is better to leave a small space uncovered immediately about the trunk, otherwise mice may harbor un der it and eat the bark. Newly set cherry trees are almost sure to perish during the heat of dry summ,rs unless well mulched, even after they have commenced n vigorous growth early in the season. CULT I VATION OF THE SOIL. —The most important of all operations in connexion with the culture of fruit, and that on which the rapid gtowth, early bearing and abun dant crops of the trees, and the large size and high quality of the fruit, mostly de pends, is the cultivrtion of the soil. "It is the more important, 'says the Amer ican Fruit Culturist, "because it is not commenced and finished in a day, but needs constant attention for years ; and in ordinary practice it recieves greater neg lect. For, of the thousands of trees which are every year tsansplanted in all parts of the country, the assertion may be made with safety, that more are lost from neglected after-culture than from all other causes put together. "To purchase and set out fine trees of rare sorts,in a baked and hardened soil, whose entire moisture and fertility are consumed by a crop of weeds and grass, might very aptly and without exaggeration be compared to the purchase of a fine horse and then perpetually to exclude him from food and drink. "Here is the great and fatal error with a large portion who attempt the cultivation of fruit. We may not incorrectly divide these three classes : Those who, having procured their trees destroy them at once by drying them in the sun or wind, or freezing them iu the cold, before setting out. “2. Those who destroy them by crowd ing the roots into small holes cut out of a sod, where, if they live, they maintain a stunted and feeble existence, like the half. starved cattle of a neglectful farmer. " Others set them out well, and then consider their labors as having closed.-- They are subsequently suffered to become choked with grass, weeds or crops of grain —some live and linger, others die under the hardship; or else are demolished by cattle, or broken down by the team which cultivates the ground." Lazy Boys. A lazy boy makes a lazy man, just as sure as a crooked' twig makes a crooked tree. Who ever yet saw a boy grow up in idleness, that did not make a shiftless vagabond when he became a man, unless he had a fortune left him to keep up ap pearances? The great mass of thieves, paupers and criminals that fill our peni tentiaries and alms-houses, have come to what they are, by being brought up in idleness. Those who constitute the bus iness portion of the community, those who make our great and useful men, were trained up in their boyhood to be industri ous. When a boy is old enough to begin to play in the street, then he is old enough to be taught how to work. Of course, we would not deprive children of healthful, playful exercise, or the time they should spend in study, but teach hint to work lit tle by little as a child is taught at school. In this way he will acquire habits of in dustry which will forsake him when ho grows up. Many persons who are poor let their children grow up to fourteen or sixteen years of age, or till they can support them no longer, before they put them to labor. Such children, not having any idea of what work is, and having acquired habits of idleness, go forth to impose upon their employers with laziness. There is a re pulsiveness in all labor set before them, and to get it done, no matter how, is their only ann. They are ambitious at play, but dull at work. The consequences is, they do not stick to one thing but a abort time ; they rove about the world; get into mischief, and finally find their way to the Prison or to the alma hou. -[WEBSTER. With the habit of idleness, vice may generally, if not invariably, be found.— Where the mind and hands are not occu pied in some useful employment, an evil genius finds them enough to do. They are found in the street late in the evening, learning the vulgar and profane habits of the elder in vice. They may be seen hanging around groceries, bar rooms and stores, where crowds gather; but they are seldom found engaged in study. A lazy boy is not only a bad boy, but a disgrace to his parents, for it is through their neglect that be becomes thus. No parent, however poor, in these times of cheap books and newspapers, need let their children grow up in idleness. If they cannot be kept at manual labor, let their minds be kept at work, make them industrious scholars, and they will be in dustrious nt any business they may under take in after life. Mit an Y)umor. TILE DOESTICK LETTERS-CONTINUED. FIRST COMPLETE COLLECTION Original Views of Men and Things. HUMOROUS ASPECTS OF AMERICAN LIFE. IX-DOESTICRS LOOKS FOR A BOARD. ING HOUSE. Nsw YORK, Oct. 6th, 1854 Having become, to a certain extent, a fixture, in this high old town, it became necessary to search out a fit habitation, wherein I might eat, sleep, change my shirt, (Damphool blushes) and attend to the other comforts of the external home, and the inner individual. My friend Bull Dogge having deserted his late place, of residence, (on account of of the perpetual reign of salt mackerel at the breakfast table,) we started together on a voyage of discovery. To describe all the dilapidated gentlewoman, whose apartments we inspected—all the many inducements which were used to persuade us to take up our quarters in all sorts of musty-smelling rooms, and to recount how many promises we made to “call again," would take too much time. Suffice it to say that, at six o'clock in the evening, wearied out and desperate, we cast anchor in the domicil of an Irish lady with one eye. She assured us that her boarders were all "rispictible, and found their own tibaccy, and that there was divtl a bug in the place." We took adjoining rooms, and resignedly went down to tea. I noticed that my cup had evident ly sustained a compound, comminuted frac ture, and been patched up with putty, (which came off in my tea)—that the bread was scant—the butter powerful—the tea, "on the contrary, quite the reverse"— however, although matters looked some what discouraging—'hoping against hope' —I retired to my virtuous sheets; horror of horrors ! 0, most horrible ! ! For two hours I maintained a sanguine ry combat with an odoriferous band of de termined cannibal insects—armed only with a fire-shovel, I gallantly kept up the unequal conflict—but the treacherous im plement broke at the critical moment; I thought I should be compelled to yield— despair filled slimy senses—my heart fail. ed me—my brain grew dizzy with horror —hurried thoughts of enemies unpardon ed, of duties neglected, and of errors com mitted, rushed items my mind—a last thought of cherished._Leufne, and absent friends, was in my heart, and, with a has ty prayer for mercy and forgiveness, was at the point of yielding, when my frantic eye caught sight of my cast•iron boot-jack; with an exclamation of pious gratitude to heaven (Bull Dogge says it did not sound so to him) I seized it, and, with the des perate strength of a dying man, I renewed the battle, and, eventually came oil victo rious and triutnphant. Weary with slaughter, I fell exhausted on the bed, and slept till morning; Bull Dogge, who had been engaged in the same delightful occu pation, appeared at the breakfast•table with one eye black, and his face spotted like a he tiger. We held a council of war, and resolved instantly to quit the p•emises of the Emerald Islander, who had agreed to '-lodge and eat" us, (the she-Cyclops) and who had so nearly fulfilled the latter clause, by proxy. Another search, and another home.— Here, for a week, things went on tolerably well; the steak was sometimes capable of mastication, the coffee wasn't always weak, nor the butter always strong; but one day there appeared at breakfast a dish of beef; (Bull Dogge asserts that it was the fossil remains of an omnibus horse ;) it was 110 t molested; at dinner, it made its appear- ance again ; stiil it was not disturbed ;at VOL. 20. NO. 14. tea, fragments of it were visible, but it yet remained untouched ; in the morning, a tempting-looking stew made its appear ance, but, alas, it was only a weak inven tion of the enemy to conceal the übiqui tous beef; at dinner, a meat pie enshrined a portion of the aforesaid beef—it went away unharmed. For a week, every day, at every meal, in every subtle form, in some ingenious disguise, still was forced upon our notice this omnipresent beef; it went through more changes than Harle quin in the Pantomime, and, like that nim ble individual, came always out uninjur. ed. At the end of the second day Bull Dog. ge grumbled, to himself; the third, he spoke out "in meeting ;" the fourth, he d—mned audibly ; the fifth, he had an hour's swear to himself in his own room; the sixth, seventh, and eighth, he preserv ed a dignified silence; but his silence was ominous; on the ninth day we both left. Our next landlady had a gigantic mouth, but her nose was a magnificent failure.— We staid with here week, and left because she seemed to be possessed of the idea that one sausage was enough for two men. For a month longer, we ran the gauntlet of all the model boarding-houses. We were entrapped by all kinds of alluring promises, and perpetually swindled, with. out any regard to decency; we had a taste of Yankee, French, Dutch, and, I have mentioned it before, (ye gods !) Irish! ;and we lived four days in an establishment presided over by a red-eyed darkey, with a wife the color of a new saddle. At last. one day in an agony of despair, I exclaim. ed, "Where, 0 where, can humbugged humanity find a decent place to feed ?" Echo answered, "In the eating-houses." We resolvod to try it, and the result is glorious. We have achieved a victory, sir—an heroic, unexpected victory. And now, farewell, all scrawny landla dies, ye snuffy beldames, with your wood en smiles; farewell, ye viperous bedsteads, ye emaciated feather-beds, and yo attenu ated bolsters ; a long adieu to scant blan kets, and mattresses stuffed with shavings; farewell to hirsute butter, anti to ancient bread; good-bye, (I say it with a tear,) yo immortal, everlasting beef; farewell to sloppy coffee, and to azure milk, (Dam phool says not yet;) farewell, ye antedilu vian pies, and you lilliputian puddings; farewell, you two-inch napkins, and ye he/9 table-cloths; farewell, ye empty grates, and rusty coal-scuttles ; adieu, ye cracked mirrors, which make a man look like a drunken satyr; farewell, ye respec table chairs, with dislocated limbs; adieu, ye fractured tea-cups, ye broken forks, and knives with hand-saw edges ; farewell, in fact, all ye lodging houses, where you can't have a latch-key, and where you cars tell when they get a new hired girl by the color of the hairs in the biscuit. [I noticed this last remarkable fact, long time since.] Give us joy, for we have found a place where things are done up right, where we can choose our own viands, where the beef is positively tender, where there are uo little red ants in the sugar, where the potatoes are not waxy, and where, if any thing goes wrong, we can inflate the wai ter. In fact, we are suited; if anything runs short, "John gets particular firs," and "nuthin shorter ;" where we can eat when we please, and call for what we please; where charges are moderate, and it is per- mitted to d—mn the waiter for nothing.— And here, in this elysian spot, have Bull Dogge and I taken our daily bread, (beans and butter included,) (or the past month, "without fear and without reproach." As our poetical friend, Thomas Plus, has remarked, ~ Joy joy, our task is done, [some." Our trials are past, and our Restaurant is Q. K. PHILANDER DOESTICES, P. B. P. S. Damphool says my concluding quotation is not strictly correct, but what does he know about it ? Q. K. P. D., P. B. IC?" A lady of our acquaintance has re cently had a remarkable experience with a new Irish girl. "Biddy," said she mic evening, "we must have some sausages for tea this even ing ; I expect company." "Yes, mom.'• Tea time arrived, with it the company ; the table was spread, the tea was aimmerin ' but no sausages appeared. ' , Where are the rausages, Biddy ?" the lady inquired.. # , And sure they're in the ta.pot, mem.— Din't you tell me we must have them for to ?" A ,fact. 61111r.' Indisputable—the right of won an tobartt arms.