Huntingdon journal. (Huntingdon, Pa.) 1843-1859, March 07, 1855, Image 1
~` ',,,c . thuttingDim oilnal, BY WM. BREWSTER. TERMS : The "flown:moon Jounnat," is published at he following rates t It paid in advance $1,50 If paid within six months after the time of subscribing If paid at the end of the year 2,00 And two dollars and fifty cents If not paid till after the expiration of the year. klo subscription will be taken for a lees period than six months, and no paper will be discontinued, except at the option of the Editor, until all arrearages are paid. Subscribers living in distant counties,or in other States, will be required to pay invariably in advance. fgr The above terms will be rigidly adhered o in all cases. A DVERTISOIVAitii Will be charged at the following rates. Insertion. 2 do.' 3 do. Biz linos or lees, $ 25 $ 37i 50 One square, (t 6 lines,) 50 75 r 100 Two " (32 " ) 100 150 209 Three " (48 " ) 150 225 300 Business men advertising by the Quarter, Halt Year or Year, will be charged the following rates: 3 mo. 6 mo. 12 mo. One square, $3 Of $5 00 $8 00 Two squares, 500 800 12 00 Three squares, 750 10 00 15 00 Four Niteroi, 900 14 00 23 00 Five squares, 15 08 25 00 38 00 Ten squares, 25 00 40 00 60 00 Business Cards not exceeding six lines, one year, $4.00. JOB WORK: Ishoat handbills, 30 copies or lets, Id If 4 00 ltt.axne,foolecap or less, per single quire, 1 50 ". 4 or more quires, per " 1 00 gir Extra charges will be made for heavy composition. air All letters on business must be POST ram o secure attention...Ns The Law or Newspapers. 1. Subscribers who do not give express notice to the contrary, are considered as wishing to continue their subscription. 2. If subscribers order the discontinuance of their newspapers, the publisher may continue to send then wail all arrearages are paid. 3. If subscribers neglect or refuse to take their newspapers from the cOces to which they are direc ted, they are held responsible until they have settled their bills and ordered them discontinued. 4. If subscribers remove to other places without informing the publisher, and the newspapers are sent to the former direction, they are held responsible. 5. Persons who continue to receive or take the paper from the office, are to be considered as sub scribers and as such, equally responsible for subscrip tion, as if they had ordered their names entered upon the publishers books. 6. The Courts have also repeatedly decided that a Post Master who neglects to perform his duty o/ giving reasonable notice as required by the regula tions of the Post Office Department, of the neg lect of a person to take from the office, newspapers addressed to him, renders the Post Master liable to the publisher for the subscription price. c POSTMASTERS are required by law to notify publishers by letter when their publi cations are refused or not called for by persons to whom they aro sent, and to give the reason of such refusal, if known. It is also their duty to frank all such letters. We will thank post masters to keep us posted up in relation to this matter. *elect 11 ottq. " HE CANE TOO LATE." KT JUNIPER. lie came too Into! The toast had dried Before the fire too long ; The cakes were scorched upon the aide, And every thing was wrong She scorned to wait all night for one Who lingered on his way, And no she took her tea alone, And cleared the things away I He came too late I At once he felt The supper hour was o'er. Indifference in her calm smile dwelt— She closed the pantry door! The table cloth bath passed away— No dishes could he see. She met . .liitn; and her words were gay. She never spoke of tea l He came 'too late I The subtle chot do, Of patience were unbound— Not by offence of spoken words, But by the the slights that wound. She knew he could say nothing now That could the past repay ; Sbe bade him go and milk the cow, And coldly turned away. He came 400 late The fragrant atream Of tea had long since flown, The flies bad fallen in the cream, The bread was cold as atone. And when, with word and smile, be tried His hungry state to prove; She nerved her heart with woman's pride, And never deigned to move l gb . ncationai. By J. A. Hall, Huntingdon County Teacher's Institute• M" I neglected to notice, last week, the receipt of several communications for this Department—one on School Houses, another on Outline Maps and a third, An Enquiry about Normal Schools. I hope many other Teachers and friends of edu ,cation will contribute something. As soon as the remaining " Essays" have been dis posed of the first two of the above articles will be published; .6 An Enquirer" will be answered as soon as I have space, per. haps next week. At present I can only assure him tbaz the County Superintend ant will organize a Normal School some time in May, if not in Huntingdon, in some other part of the county where a snitable building and other facilities can be procured. There will also be a Normal Institute in Huntingdon for six weeks I SEE NO STAR ABOVE TffE HORIZON, PROMISING LIGHT TO 017IDI 118, BUT THE INTELLIGENT, PATRIOTIC, UNITED WHIG PARTY OP THE 'UNITED STATES.". from the 20th July, to be conducted by several experienced Teachers, and design• ed principally to qualify students in the dirt of Teaching and School Government. ESSAY, Read by A. W. BENEDICT, Esq., be fore the Hun. tingdon County Teache,' institute, December 22, 185-i : Subject—Law or SuccEss. I,ok around where our race are now jostling each other in the stern conflict of lift. This one most buoyant with hope and most confident of success, stumbles and falls, while those around hint heed less of his discomfiture, trample over and upon !inn, and confidence and hope and life go out together. That one, with doubts and fears, but with a trusting fore cast, plods and delves on with tireless and never flinching energy, resolved that though failure should overwhelm him' then even the purpose is not abandoned, the will dot's not alter until in the last struggle for victory he sinks in the battle of life.— But does he sink t---A moment he may be hidden from sight, yet ho rises again and mingles in the strife, that iron will he has willed success and he cannot fail to secure it, if the mortal man does not fail ere the triumph is complete. The wonderful Corsican said “God was with the heavy battalions." This was his opinion as to what law matured success in the fierce encoun ter of arms ; and the law which rules that issue is the ,same in everything. The use of the means is the only law of suc- $1 25 1 50 2 50 The use of the means is the law of suc cess, is an expression which nt first thought might be said to be tautological.— Yet a moment's reflection will make ap pa-ent my meaning. Hercules answered the carter's prayer for help by telling him that "to whip his horse and put his shoul der to the wheel was the only way to se cure assistance." Mark and remember well the force of this lesson. It is the use of the means which "secures assist ance." There is no allegation that those means alone would move the over-loaded cart from the mud. It is rather a decla ration, that he would secure the help of others must exhibit a determination to use all the means within his power, and that thus not only help, but success is se cured. The Teacher has a destiny to fulfill, and that. destiny may be useful, even glorious or it may be common place, heedless, and rayless, bearing no trace of light or truth in his pathway. The successful School Teacher, leaves on earth as the lastin; memorials of his la bors, a thousand pilgrim spirits who have bean led by him through the slough of de spond which everywhere dishearten the humble student in his progress to that pleasant land the Beeteh of intellectual existence. Ile has supplied th'e with scroll which has kept them in the way, up the hill o. Difficulty ilown,slippery,wyover the snares and pit-falls, beyond the Doubting Castle of Despair, and through the temp ting show shops of Vanity Fair. Every where they sound his praise by the still teaching of their pure example and en lightened purpose. On the mart of mer chandise, in the hall of science, on the fo rum, on the bench,in the pulpit, in our halls of legislation, in our chairs of State, away on the frontier, in our crowded cities amid the snows of the arctic circle ; on the burning sands of the torrid zone, you will find the successful pupil of the successful teacher. 'fru i ll do "his children rise up and call him blessed." Is this no prize to strive for-- no goal to win How shall success be secured ? I an• ewer, by the use of the means, and am I asked what are those means 1 I will answer---By tvlwarty devotion to the advancement of schools, unremitting study of yourself, patient examination into the material of the physical as well as the mental organization of the pupil, an inflex ible will to love the school, the scholar, the books,the lessons,and even the hours of toil. Let all these purposes beam upon your face, and shine forth in every word and action, and the pupil feels that for the love of him, you devote your all to secure his welfare, and prosperity. How shall all this be done T Here is my answer. Show your devotion to the advancement of schools by being always interested, and manifest that interest, by an industrious zeal in every moment point ing toward the permanent prosperity and pefection of a universal Common School System. Lose no opportunity to be where the teachers most do congregate—at the Institute. Hold up the hands of those who are earnest in their la bors to make teaching a learned profes sion. Raise such a standard of education al and moral worth among teachers, direc tor-3 and parents that the selfish and ig- HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7, 1855. norant booby who keeps a school, not for the good ft may and ought to do to our kind, but for the paltry dollars which he takes but does not deserve, will not dare to present himself anywhere, as a candi date for any school. Study yourself. Know thyself, is the mandate of Divine wisdom to us all. Let then the investigation into the hidden or dering of your heart, be deep and search. ing. There is a subtle and deceitful mys tery that marshalls the actions of the outer man, that he must know ; if he would be ready to curb nod control its evil aims; and if he would send forth to do the im pressive biddings to good, that better spir it when it rises to the majesty. The lit tle peering eye that peeps above its book, receives is light from a train, wise as La voter's and reads the men in the slight curl of the lip—the sharp flash of the eye the shadow winkle of the brow. Know thyself; and the purpose of your wills, for they arc rend in your every act and look. Study well the character of your pupils. Let your vision be unclosed by any pain dice of bias. Bring to the investigation the calmness, and frank kind candor, of impartial judgement. Act upon no hasty conclusions. Avoid all rashness or you may demonstrate the mischievous truth that you are not the master of yourself. It is, I fear too common an error that the teacher underrates the capacity of chil dren, to take the measure of the master. The earnest teacher will labor to know through what avenue he may reach the heart and command the interest of those he may desire to tench and that lie can only find by a watchful zeal to discov er what are the propensities that should be curbed ; and how a moral sense can be best exerted and cultivated. If you would know how to subdue the turbulent, calm the hot headed, arouse the dull and stu pid ; win back the wayward, excite the indolent, tame the wild and vicious, and secure the love of all, you must know each pupil, and if possible convince each that you understand the silent workings of the heart. Do all this and your em pire is your own. [CONTINUED NEXT WEEK.] glisalincous. A Novel Proceeding. The last number of the Bethlehem Ti m e• contains the following .tern of a way to get rid oft trublesome companion with going through the more expensive and te dious process of a legal divorce. If this plan were to be generally adopted through out the country, we shall not wonder if the fees of auctioneers were to increase very suddenly and there would not be so many disconsolate husbands, or unhappy wives. The standard value of a woman in old Northampton, if this instance is a criter ion, can be estimated at the enormous suin of 8141 cents. A Was FOR SeLit.—•On Saturday mor ning last we noticed a gentleman written advertisement posted up on the pump in front of our sanctum, of which the follow ing is a copy. Haute den 12 ten Januar 1855, soil auf oellentlicher vendu verkauft werden auf dem land Johann Peter ein cisen kessel ein cisen kesselein ofen mit rohr and cin frau oder we be yen Johann Jacob Schwab von Pressen u. s. w. Whether the "frau oder weib" was ac tually sold we did not learn. Since the above was in type, we learn that the lady was duly transferred. The purchaser is Frederick Johann Schmurch ler, von Hesse Darmstadt. Price $1,44. The now couple are said to enjoy the hon ey moon in a state of perfect happiness. A Certain Cure for Scrofula, Nicholas Longworth, the famous mil. lionaire and wine grower of Cincinnati, publishes the following cure for scrofula : Put 2 oz. of aquifortis on a plate, on which you have two copper cents. Let it remain from 18 to 24 hours. Then add four ounces of clear, strong vinegar.— Put cents and all in a large mouthed bot tle, and keep it corked. Begin by put ting 4 drops in a teaspoon.full of rain wa. ter, and apply it to the sore. Make the application three times a day, with a soft hair pencil, or one made of soft rags. If very painful, put more water. As the sore heals apply it weaker. I request ed. nets, in all parts of the Union, and abroad to copy this, and to republish it quarter yearly ; it may save many lives. N. LONGWORTH. Cincinnati, 0., Nov. 18,1854. P. S.—Capt. Harkness, of our city, the first person cured by this remedy, and ap plied it without water, and he informed toe that he thought it would burn his leg off. But the next day it was cured. his wad a small sore, and had been attended to for months by one of our best physicians, without any bene4t. Feeding Pip. Pigs are very gross feeders, nothing comes amiss to a greedy hog—roots, herbs, fruits, grain, flesh, fish, and even hay, straw and fresh manures. In the fold yard and fallow fields he is a very useful fellow; but in grazing lands he does injury by rooting, by pulling up grass roots, and by his dung proving nauseous to other stock. Ile is very soon affected by change either of food or weather. Frozen swill and putrid flesh are very pernicious. Night air and cold rains are the great source of every ill suffered by young pigs; sour milk, butter milk, or brand mixed with water will make them scour; but steamed roots, mixed with meal, whey or even water, given warm and in warm stys will make them thrive faster than any oth er animal. Raw potatoes or other root are injurious to them, while old pigs will not get fat upon such food. Pigs should not be put together for fattening into great numbers. Few feeders take a physiologi cal view of the subject ; nevertheless they most adopt the principles. Young pigs require those varieties of food most adap ted to promote the healthy developement of frame, older pigs, those that fatten fastest, hence, pea and bean weal, Indian meal, Oatmeal, milk, whey &c., are best for young pigs; while in addition to these, potatoes and other roots steamed and bar ley meal, greave cakes, bran, pollard, &c., are best adapted to fatten older pigs; greave cakes are highly recommended for quick fattening. It is improper in breeding to put two animals together un der any great disparity of kind or circum stances--the produce will assuredly be defective in many points; there should be assimilation In size and frame. It is best that the female should be of the larger breed in crossing, and in all cases of at tempted improvement, fine, well-formed fe male must be selected. The most sym metrical animals in all breeds have been produced from a rattier large, good male of moderate size. Pigs will fatten rapid ly on grains for a time, aftemard they must have more nutrious food. A BasineepLike Courtship. There is a story extant about a five-min utes' courtship between a thriving and busy merchant, of a watering-place in England, and a lady for whom, in con junction with a deceased friend, he was trustee. Tlie lady called at his counting house, and said that her business was to consult him on the propriety, or otherwise of her accepting an offer of marriage which site had received. Now, for the first time, occurred to the Bristol merchant the idea of this holy state in his own case. "Marriage," said he listlessly, turning over some West India correspondence, "well, I suppose everybody ought to mar ry, though such a thing never occurred to me before. Have you given this gentle man an affirmative answer?" "No" Are your feelings particularly engaged in the matter ?" "Not particularly." "Well, then, madam," said he, turning round his office stool, if that be the case, and if you could dispense with courtship, for which I have no dine, and think you could be comfortable with me, I am your humble servant to command." There were peo ple who thought that the lady had a pur pose in going there, but, if so, she pru dently disguised it. She said she would consider the matter. The Bristol mer chant saw her out with the same cool- - ness as if she was merely one of his cor respondents, and when she was gone five minutes, was once more immersed in his letters and ledgers. A day or two after wards, he had a communication from the lady, accepting his ofler, very consider ately exempting him from an elabrote courtship, and leaving him to name the "most convenient day." They were mar ried. The Five Daughters. A gentleman had five daughters, all of whom he brought up to some respectable occupation in life. These daughters mar ried one after another, with the consent of their father. The first, married a gentle man by the name of Poor; the second, a Mr. Little ; the third, a Mr. Short ; the fourth, a Mr. Brown ; the fifth a Mr. Hogg. At the wedding of the latter, her sisters, with their husbands, were pres ent. After the ceremonies of the wedding were over the old gentleman said to the guests, I have taken great pains to ed ucate my fivo daughters, that they might act well their parts in life, and from their advantage and improvements, I fondly ho ped that they would do honor to the family and now I find that all my pains, cares, and expectations have turned out, nothing but a Poor, Little, Short, Brown, Hogg." ner!Aind your earn The Aurora Borealis. HYPOTIMI3IB : The rays of the sun are forces which strike upon the earth, distur bing the atoms of matter upon her surface —the atoms comprising rocks and metals, and animals and vegetables, ns well as those comprising water—and thereby caus ing evaporation. Tho vapor ascends in lines, not paralel with the equator—unless where it generated directly upon the equa tor—but diverging outward either way, the divergence being in proportion to the distance outward ; so that there will be considerable portoions of the vapor in the vicinity of the poles, (I think there must be southern as well as northern lights, un less there may be an insufficiency of ma terial, of the earths and metals, in the southern hemisphere out of which to pro duce them.) This vapor retains the mo tion which it had while a part of the earth, or of the substances upon the earth, namely, the motion round the earth's axis ; and as then this motion was greater in parts near the equator than in parts removed front it, so it will be now : portions of the vapor ari sing from the regions of the tropics will I move much faster than portions arising from regions within the circles. Hence, when the vapor has become condensed (has descended within a similar circumference) in the vicinity of the poles, the motion from west to east which is appearent to the observer. The light itself is an effect of chemical action among the particles of vapor. This chemical action may take place and the vapor still retain its form; that is, still continue vapor though a different kind from the original ; or sub stances such as grains of sand, metallic dust, ureteric stones, shooting stars, and animal matter may be the result. G. W. EVELETIL Recipe Washing Clothes. The night before washing day put the clothes of soak hi cold water, and also place on the hot stove, in a suitable ves sel, two pounds to common soap; cut into small pieces, one ounce of borax, (which may hi obtained at any of our hardware or country stores,) and two quarts of wa ter. These may be left to simmer till the fire goes out ; in the morning the mixture will be solid. On washing day, opera tions are commenced by setting the wash kettle on a stove or turimee, nearly filled with cold water. Into this put about one fourth of a pound of the compound, and then wring out the clothes that have been soaking and put thcia into the kettle. By the time the water is scalding hot, the cl....hes will be ready to take out. Drain them well, and put them into cold water, and then thoroughly rhino them twice, and they are ready to be hung out. When more water is added to the soap kettle, more soap should also be added, but the quantity needed will be very small. This process has many advantages over others. It is suited for washing every kind of fabric; it is especially good for flannels, and seems to set colors rather than remove them from dresses and shoe, is while the white clothes are rendered ex ceedingly white. It costs less for soap than the common made of washing; it is only half as laborious ; the clothes are thoroughly cleansed in much less time, without injury to them, and last, but not least, the soap does not injure the clothes in the least, or act like caustic upon the hands, but after a day's washing the hands have a peculiarly soft, silky feel, as far removed as is possible from the sen sations produced by washing with ordina ry soap, or ordinafy washing compounds. .....-- Horse Shoeing. Many horses are injured by careless shoeing. Their feet diflbr so much that it requires great judgement and a thorough knowledge of their anatomical structure. Smiths generally pare the heel too much or do not pare the toe enough. The frog should be permitted to grow sufficiently to strike the ground before the hoof opposite; it rarely grows too long; it is intended by nature to prevent the heavy jar produced by weight. When the heel is much low er than the toe, the cords of the legs be come strained, and ihe legs sore and stiff and the horse will move awkwardly, which is attributed too often to founder, when the cause is bad shoeing. Some burn the toe oft; this is very injurious. So far as the heat penetrates, it destroys the circulation which gives the toughness. The hoof necessarily becomes very brittle, and is li able to crack. Great care should be taken in driving tho nails, to see that they, do not split and enter the quick, and cause lameness. lir A western editor, in answer to a complaint of a patron that he did not give news enough, told him when news was scarce to read the Bible, which he had no doubt would be news to P -[WXBOTBR Mit id Anwar. THE DOESTICK LETTERS-CONTINUED, FIRST COMPLETE COLLECTION. Original Views of Men and Things. HUMOROUS ASPECTS OF AMERICAN LIFE. V.—Doesticks Visiteth the Museum. SEVENTY HUNDRED AND ONE, NARROW 9T. Mr. EDITOR :-I have now been a resi dent of this City long enough to know something of the localities thereto apper taming—know where the City Hall is— ditto Hospital. Also where the Astor House is generally located—can tell the general direction of Mercer and Bowery sts., from the Crystal Palace—and can, at most times of day, point out Trinity Church with a tolerable degree of accuracy. Have been to the Battery, for which I paid a shilling to thu dilapidated Hibernian who attends the iron portal—afterwards visited (by particular desire) the cocked hat sha ped Sahara known as the "City Hall Square," saw the splendid fountain, with its symmetrical basin hlled with golden fishes (as I was credibly informed, I could not exactly perceive them myself,) in the midst of its elegaht miniature forest, (yet in its infancy) gazed, with admiration, at the ancient structure denominated the Ci ty Flall—said to have been built by the ancient Greeks, of which I have not the slightest doubt, as all the avenues leading thereto were thronged with modern Greeks, whose general costume was not so classi cally correct as I could have wished-- looked at the glorious fountain which adorns the center of the spacious lawn— admired the magnificent proportions of the vast forest trees which rear their lofty forms therein--gazed, long and earnestly at the glittering jet (not quite so lofty as I had been led to suppose) of the magnifi cent fountain which embellishes the prince. ly grounds—then turned to look at a cir cular edifice, which, I confess, did not striko me as being retnarkable for archi tectural beauty, but which, undoubtedly, is exceedingly useful—then turned to 1 feast my wondering eyes upon the dia mond glittering drops of a fountain near at hand ; looked, with much approbation upon the wide and spacious avenues, and the clearly graveled walks, and also at a fountain near by, which I think I have be fore mentioned; surveyed the other fine buildings near at hand, which adorn and beautify that triangular piece of earth; and ever returned with constantly increas ing gratification, to view a beautiful lake, in the center thereof :vin the midst of which, burst faith, in aqueous glory, the waters of a fountain ; soon, convinced that I had seen my :noney's worth, I prepared to leave—casting one longing, lingering look behind, (as my friend L. E. G. Gray says,) at the glorious old, classic ruin—the Hall--and the pluvial splendors of the fountain. Went out, but, looking back, perceived, ia the splendid perk I had just left, there rose, in "misty majesty," (vide somebody,) the jet of a fountain. Resolv ed to return, and have another look at the ivied and crumbling ruins, and also, to in spect, minutely, a fountain, which I now perceived, hard by. Wishing to be perfectly posted up, I went to the Post Office, (the Evening Post Office,) and obtained a paper, con taining the latest news of the day, and al so a list of entertainments for the even ing. Wishing to see the Museum, of which I had read, andalso to behold Bar num, of whom I had heard some men tion, (in connection, I think, with one Thomas Thumb, and Joice Heth, an anti quated and venerable lady, colored, who afterwards died,) I determined, instantly, to visit that place of delectation, "perfect ly regardless of expense." Arrived at the door, man demanded a quarter, but, like Byron's Dream, HI had no further change," so, was necessitated to get a bill broke; offered him Washtenaw, but that was too effectually broke to suit his pur pose. Got in, somehow, after a lengthy delay, and some internal profanity. Soon after my entrance, a young man, attired in a dress coat, a huge standing col lar, and a high hat, introduced himself as "A. Damphool, Esq.," gentleman of leis ure, and man about town. Having never before had any experience of a class of individuals who compose, lam told. a large proportion of the masculine popula tion of the City, I eagerly embraced the opportunity of making his acquaintance. He also presented his friend, "Bull nog ge," and we three then proceeded to view the curiosities; we commenced with the double-bnrreled nigger-baby, [which Bull Dogge says is au illegitimate devil}—went .on to the rhiroearo•, who it , always pro VOL. 20. NO. 10. vided with a horn, Barnum's temperance talk to the contrary, nevertheless--the Happy Family--the two legged calf, [B. D. says it is not the only one in the City,] a red darkey—a green Yankee, a white Irishman, [Damphool says that this latter individual is an impossibility, and could only have originated with Barnum] wax figure of a tall man in a blue coat, with a star on his breast, [Damphool says it is a policeman who was found when he was wanted ; but Bull Dogge says there never was any such person, and that the whole story is a Gay fable,] found, by the pro gramme, that it is supposed to represer. t Louis Napoleon; never knew before, that he had one eye black and one eye blue. [B. D. asserts that the usual custom is to bare one eye both black and blue;] wax model of the railroad man who swindled the community, [now living on his money, and President of the Foreign Mission So ciety for the Suppression of Pilfering, in the Foo Foo Islands;] wax figure of the abandoned, dissolute, and totally depraved woman, who filched half a loaf of bread to give to her hungry children, and who was very properly sent to Blackwell's Is land for it—also of the City Contractor who did clean the streets—[Damphool states that he is residing at Utica.] Saw a great multitude of monkeys, streaked face, white face, black face, hairy face, bald face, [Bull Dogge prefers the latter,] with a great assortment of tails, differing in length, and varying as to color, long tails, short tails, stump tails, ring tails, wiry tails, curly tails, tails interesting and insinuating, tails indignant and uncompro mising, big tails, little tails, bob tails, (Damphool suggests Robert narratives,) and no tails; (Bull Dogge says that some effetninate descendants of this latter class now promenade Broadway ; and he swears that they have greatly degenera ted in intelligence;) pictures, paddles. pumpkins, carriages, corals, lava, boats. breeches, boa constrictors, shells, ores, snakes, toads, butterflies, liaards, bears, reptiles, reprobates, bugs, bulls, bats, birds, petrifactions, pntrifactions, model railroads, model churns, model gridirons, model artists, model babies, cockneys, cockades, cockroaches, cocktails, scalps, thomashawks, Noah's ark, Paganini's fid dle, Old Grimes' coat, autocrats, autobiog raphies, autographs, Otto Goldschmidt, who ought to be whipped, ought to be shot, ought to be hanged, ought to be burn ed in an Auto do Fe, chickens, cheeses, codfish, Shanghais, mud•turtlee, alligators, moose, mermaids, hay-scales, scale armor, monsters, curiosities from Rotterd—ta, Amsterd--m, Beaverd—m, Chow Sing, Tchinsing, Linsiog, Lansing, Sing Sing, cubebs, cart-wheels, mummies, heroes, poets, idiots, maniacs, benefactors, male factors, pumps, porcupines, and pill-ma chines, all mingled, mixed, and conglom erated, like a Connecticut chowder, or the Jew-soup of the Witches in Macbeth. Up stairs, at last, and into an adolescent t heater, christened a Lecture-Room, (Dam phool says it is known as the Deacon's Theater, and that all his pious namesakes attend.) Saw the play, laughed, cried, sneezed, snorted, and felt good all over. Much pleased with a bit of lun origina ting in a jealous fireman, and terminating in a free fight. e Fireman Nose saw Rose, his sweet heart, with Joe the hackman ; got jealous, pitched into him---fun--thought of Tom Hood, and went off at half cock—thus Enter Rose with Joe, sees Mose, Mose beaus Rose ; Rose knows those beaux foes, Joe's bellicose, se's Mose, Muse blows Joe's nose, Joe's blows nose Mose, Rose Oh's, Mose hoes Joe's rows, Joe's blows chose Mose's nose, Mose shows Joe's nose blows, Joe's nose grows none, Mose knows Joe's nose shows those blows, Joe goes, Nose crows. P. S. Joe being whipped, and, more over, being the only innocent one in the whole fight, was arrested by the vigilant and efficient police. P. P. S. Damphool says that Joe tree. ted the Emerald conservators of tho pub lic quiet, and is again at large. Let Mose beware. Yours, Q. K. PUILANDER DOISTICKB, P. B, ig I never go to church," said a county tradesman to his parish clergyman; ol always spend Sunday in settling ac counts." The minister immediately re plied, "You will find, Sir, that the day of judgment will be spent in the same man. ner." A uuserrorour mother's mother was my mother's aunt, what relation would your greet grandfather's nephew be to my elder brother's eon•in law ? 'Tut Eaqiiiniaux aays Bayard Tay lor, are afraid to die of a windy day, lest their •oul, should be blown away.