~`
',,,c . thuttingDim oilnal,
BY WM. BREWSTER.
TERMS :
The "flown:moon Jounnat," is published at
he following rates t
It paid in advance $1,50
If paid within six months after the time of
subscribing
If paid at the end of the year 2,00
And two dollars and fifty cents If not paid till
after the expiration of the year. klo subscription
will be taken for a lees period than six months,
and no paper will be discontinued, except at the
option of the Editor, until all arrearages are paid.
Subscribers living in distant counties,or in other
States, will be required to pay invariably in
advance.
fgr The above terms will be rigidly adhered
o in all cases.
A DVERTISOIVAitii
Will be charged at the following rates.
Insertion. 2 do.' 3 do.
Biz linos or lees, $ 25 $ 37i 50
One square, (t 6 lines,) 50 75 r 100
Two " (32 " ) 100 150 209
Three " (48 " ) 150 225 300
Business men advertising by the Quarter, Halt
Year or Year, will be charged the following rates:
3 mo. 6 mo. 12 mo.
One square, $3 Of $5 00 $8 00
Two squares, 500 800 12 00
Three squares, 750 10 00 15 00
Four Niteroi, 900 14 00 23 00
Five squares, 15 08 25 00 38 00
Ten squares, 25 00 40 00 60 00
Business Cards not exceeding six lines, one
year, $4.00.
JOB WORK:
Ishoat handbills, 30 copies or lets,
Id
If
4 00
ltt.axne,foolecap or less, per single quire, 1 50
". 4 or more quires, per " 1 00
gir Extra charges will be made for heavy
composition.
air All letters on business must be POST ram
o secure attention...Ns
The Law or Newspapers.
1. Subscribers who do not give express notice to
the contrary, are considered as wishing to continue
their subscription.
2. If subscribers order the discontinuance of their
newspapers, the publisher may continue to send then
wail all arrearages are paid.
3. If subscribers neglect or refuse to take their
newspapers from the cOces to which they are direc
ted, they are held responsible until they have settled
their bills and ordered them discontinued.
4. If subscribers remove to other places without
informing the publisher, and the newspapers are sent
to the former direction, they are held responsible.
5. Persons who continue to receive or take the
paper from the office, are to be considered as sub
scribers and as such, equally responsible for subscrip
tion, as if they had ordered their names entered upon
the publishers books.
6. The Courts have also repeatedly decided that
a Post Master who neglects to perform his duty o/
giving reasonable notice as required by the regula
tions of the Post Office Department, of the neg
lect of a person to take from the office, newspapers
addressed to him, renders the Post Master liable to
the publisher for the subscription price.
c POSTMASTERS are required by law
to notify publishers by letter when their publi
cations are refused or not called for by persons
to whom they aro sent, and to give the reason
of such refusal, if known. It is also their duty
to frank all such letters. We will thank post
masters to keep us posted up in relation to this
matter.
*elect 11 ottq.
" HE CANE TOO LATE."
KT JUNIPER.
lie came too Into! The toast had dried
Before the fire too long ;
The cakes were scorched upon the aide,
And every thing was wrong
She scorned to wait all night for one
Who lingered on his way,
And no she took her tea alone,
And cleared the things away I
He came too late I At once he felt
The supper hour was o'er.
Indifference in her calm smile dwelt—
She closed the pantry door!
The table cloth bath passed away—
No dishes could he see.
She met . .liitn; and her words were gay.
She never spoke of tea l
He came 'too late I The subtle chot do,
Of patience were unbound—
Not by offence of spoken words,
But by the the slights that wound.
She knew he could say nothing now
That could the past repay ;
Sbe bade him go and milk the cow,
And coldly turned away.
He came 400 late The fragrant atream
Of tea had long since flown,
The flies bad fallen in the cream,
The bread was cold as atone.
And when, with word and smile, be tried
His hungry state to prove;
She nerved her heart with woman's pride,
And never deigned to move l
gb . ncationai.
By J. A. Hall,
Huntingdon County Teacher's Institute•
M" I neglected to notice, last week,
the receipt of several communications for
this Department—one on School Houses,
another on Outline Maps and a third, An
Enquiry about Normal Schools. I hope
many other Teachers and friends of edu
,cation will contribute something. As soon
as the remaining " Essays" have been dis
posed of the first two of the above articles
will be published; .6 An Enquirer" will
be answered as soon as I have space, per.
haps next week. At present I can only
assure him tbaz the County Superintend
ant will organize a Normal School some
time in May, if not in Huntingdon, in
some other part of the county where a
snitable building and other facilities can be
procured. There will also be a Normal
Institute in Huntingdon for six weeks
I SEE NO STAR ABOVE TffE HORIZON, PROMISING LIGHT TO 017IDI 118, BUT THE INTELLIGENT, PATRIOTIC, UNITED WHIG PARTY OP THE 'UNITED STATES.".
from the 20th July, to be conducted by
several experienced Teachers, and design•
ed principally to qualify students in the
dirt of Teaching and School Government.
ESSAY,
Read by A. W. BENEDICT, Esq., be fore the Hun.
tingdon County Teache,' institute,
December 22, 185-i :
Subject—Law or SuccEss.
I,ok around where our race are now
jostling each other in the stern conflict of
lift. This one most buoyant with hope
and most confident of success, stumbles
and falls, while those around hint heed
less of his discomfiture, trample over and
upon !inn, and confidence and hope and
life go out together. That one, with
doubts and fears, but with a trusting fore
cast, plods and delves on with tireless and
never flinching energy, resolved that
though failure should overwhelm him' then
even the purpose is not abandoned, the will
dot's not alter until in the last struggle for
victory he sinks in the battle of life.—
But does he sink t---A moment he may be
hidden from sight, yet ho rises again and
mingles in the strife, that iron will he has
willed success and he cannot fail to secure
it, if the mortal man does not fail ere the
triumph is complete. The wonderful
Corsican said “God was with the heavy
battalions." This was his opinion as to what
law matured success in the fierce encoun
ter of arms ; and the law which rules that
issue is the
,same in everything. The
use of the means is the only law of suc-
$1 25
1 50
2 50
The use of the means is the law of suc
cess, is an expression which nt first
thought might be said to be tautological.—
Yet a moment's reflection will make ap
pa-ent my meaning. Hercules answered
the carter's prayer for help by telling him
that "to whip his horse and put his shoul
der to the wheel was the only way to se
cure assistance." Mark and remember
well the force of this lesson. It is the
use of the means which "secures assist
ance." There is no allegation that those
means alone would move the over-loaded
cart from the mud. It is rather a decla
ration, that he would secure the help of
others must exhibit a determination to
use all the means within his power, and
that thus not only help, but success is se
cured.
The Teacher has a destiny to fulfill, and
that. destiny may be useful, even glorious
or it may be common place, heedless, and
rayless, bearing no trace of light or truth
in his pathway.
The successful School Teacher, leaves
on earth as the lastin; memorials of his la
bors, a thousand pilgrim spirits who have
bean led by him through the slough of de
spond which everywhere dishearten the
humble student in his progress to that
pleasant land the Beeteh of intellectual
existence. Ile has supplied th'e with scroll
which has kept them in the way, up the
hill o. Difficulty ilown,slippery,wyover the
snares and pit-falls, beyond the Doubting
Castle of Despair, and through the temp
ting show shops of Vanity Fair. Every
where they sound his praise by the still
teaching of their pure example and en
lightened purpose. On the mart of mer
chandise, in the hall of science, on the fo
rum, on the bench,in the pulpit, in our
halls of legislation, in our chairs of State,
away on the frontier, in our crowded cities
amid the snows of the arctic circle ; on the
burning sands of the torrid zone, you will
find the successful pupil of the successful
teacher. 'fru i ll do "his children rise up
and call him blessed." Is this no prize
to strive for-- no goal to win
How shall success be secured ? I an•
ewer, by the use of the means, and am I
asked what are those means 1
I will answer---By tvlwarty devotion to
the advancement of schools, unremitting
study of yourself, patient examination into
the material of the physical as well as the
mental organization of the pupil, an inflex
ible will to love the school, the scholar, the
books,the lessons,and even the hours of toil.
Let all these purposes beam upon your
face, and shine forth in every word and
action, and the pupil feels that for the
love of him, you devote your all to secure
his welfare, and prosperity.
How shall all this be done T Here is
my answer. Show your devotion to the
advancement of schools by being always
interested, and manifest that interest, by an
industrious zeal in every moment point
ing toward the permanent prosperity
and pefection of a universal Common
School System. Lose no opportunity
to be where the teachers most do
congregate—at the Institute. Hold up the
hands of those who are earnest in their la
bors to make teaching a learned profes
sion. Raise such a standard of education
al and moral worth among teachers, direc
tor-3 and parents that the selfish and ig-
HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7, 1855.
norant booby who keeps a school, not for
the good ft may and ought to do to our
kind, but for the paltry dollars which he
takes but does not deserve, will not dare
to present himself anywhere, as a candi
date for any school.
Study yourself. Know thyself, is the
mandate of Divine wisdom to us all. Let
then the investigation into the hidden or
dering of your heart, be deep and search.
ing. There is a subtle and deceitful mys
tery that marshalls the actions of the outer
man, that he must know ; if he would be
ready to curb nod control its evil aims;
and if he would send forth to do the im
pressive biddings to good, that better spir
it when it rises to the majesty. The lit
tle peering eye that peeps above its book,
receives is light from a train, wise as La
voter's and reads the men in the slight
curl of the lip—the sharp flash of the eye
the shadow winkle of the brow. Know
thyself; and the purpose of your wills,
for they arc rend in your every act and
look.
Study well the character of your pupils.
Let your vision be unclosed by any pain
dice of bias. Bring to the investigation
the calmness, and frank kind candor, of
impartial judgement. Act upon no hasty
conclusions. Avoid all rashness or you
may demonstrate the mischievous truth
that you are not the master of yourself.
It is, I fear too common an error that the
teacher underrates the capacity of chil
dren, to take the measure of the master.
The earnest teacher will labor to know
through what avenue he may reach
the heart and command the interest of
those he may desire to tench and that lie
can only find by a watchful zeal to discov
er what are the propensities that should be
curbed ; and how a moral sense can be
best exerted and cultivated. If you would
know how to subdue the turbulent, calm
the hot headed, arouse the dull and stu
pid ; win back the wayward, excite the
indolent, tame the wild and vicious, and
secure the love of all, you must know each
pupil, and if possible convince each
that you understand the silent workings
of the heart. Do all this and your em
pire is your own.
[CONTINUED NEXT WEEK.]
glisalincous.
A Novel Proceeding.
The last number of the Bethlehem
Ti m e• contains the following .tern of a way
to get rid oft trublesome companion with
going through the more expensive and te
dious process of a legal divorce. If this
plan were to be generally adopted through
out the country, we shall not wonder if the
fees of auctioneers were to increase very
suddenly and there would not be so many
disconsolate husbands, or unhappy wives.
The standard value of a woman in old
Northampton, if this instance is a criter
ion, can be estimated at the enormous suin
of 8141 cents.
A Was FOR SeLit.—•On Saturday mor
ning last we noticed a gentleman written
advertisement posted up on the pump in
front of our sanctum, of which the follow
ing is a copy.
Haute den 12 ten Januar 1855, soil auf
oellentlicher vendu verkauft werden auf
dem land Johann Peter ein cisen kessel ein
cisen kesselein ofen mit rohr and cin frau
oder we be yen Johann Jacob Schwab von
Pressen u. s. w.
Whether the "frau oder weib" was ac
tually sold we did not learn.
Since the above was in type, we learn
that the lady was duly transferred. The
purchaser is Frederick Johann Schmurch
ler, von Hesse Darmstadt. Price $1,44.
The now couple are said to enjoy the hon
ey moon in a state of perfect happiness.
A Certain Cure for Scrofula,
Nicholas Longworth, the famous mil.
lionaire and wine grower of Cincinnati,
publishes the following cure for scrofula :
Put 2 oz. of aquifortis on a plate, on
which you have two copper cents. Let
it remain from 18 to 24 hours. Then add
four ounces of clear, strong vinegar.—
Put cents and all in a large mouthed bot
tle, and keep it corked. Begin by put
ting 4 drops in a teaspoon.full of rain wa.
ter, and apply it to the sore. Make the
application three times a day, with a soft
hair pencil, or one made of soft rags. If
very painful, put more water. As the
sore heals apply it weaker. I request ed.
nets, in all parts of the Union, and abroad
to copy this, and to republish it quarter
yearly ; it may save many lives.
N. LONGWORTH.
Cincinnati, 0., Nov. 18,1854.
P. S.—Capt. Harkness, of our city, the
first person cured by this remedy, and ap
plied it without water, and he informed
toe that he thought it would burn his leg
off. But the next day it was cured. his
wad a small sore, and had been attended to
for months by one of our best physicians,
without any bene4t.
Feeding Pip.
Pigs are very gross feeders, nothing
comes amiss to a greedy hog—roots,
herbs, fruits, grain, flesh, fish, and even
hay, straw and fresh manures. In the
fold yard and fallow fields he is a very
useful fellow; but in grazing lands he does
injury by rooting, by pulling up grass
roots, and by his dung proving nauseous
to other stock. Ile is very soon affected
by change either of food or weather. Frozen
swill and putrid flesh are very pernicious.
Night air and cold rains are the great
source of every ill suffered by young pigs;
sour milk, butter milk, or brand mixed
with water will make them scour; but
steamed roots, mixed with meal, whey or
even water, given warm and in warm stys
will make them thrive faster than any oth
er animal. Raw potatoes or other root
are injurious to them, while old pigs will
not get fat upon such food. Pigs should
not be put together for fattening into great
numbers. Few feeders take a physiologi
cal view of the subject ; nevertheless they
most adopt the principles. Young pigs
require those varieties of food most adap
ted to promote the healthy developement of
frame, older pigs, those that fatten fastest,
hence, pea and bean weal, Indian meal,
Oatmeal, milk, whey &c., are best for
young pigs; while in addition to these,
potatoes and other roots steamed and bar
ley meal, greave cakes, bran, pollard, &c.,
are best adapted to fatten older pigs;
greave cakes are highly recommended
for quick fattening. It is improper in
breeding to put two animals together un
der any great disparity of kind or circum
stances--the produce will assuredly be
defective in many points; there should be
assimilation In size and frame. It is best
that the female should be of the larger
breed in crossing, and in all cases of at
tempted improvement, fine, well-formed fe
male must be selected. The most sym
metrical animals in all breeds have been
produced from a rattier large, good male
of moderate size. Pigs will fatten rapid
ly on grains for a time, aftemard they must
have more nutrious food.
A BasineepLike Courtship.
There is a story extant about a five-min
utes' courtship between a thriving and
busy merchant, of a watering-place in
England, and a lady for whom, in con
junction with a deceased friend, he was
trustee. Tlie lady called at his counting
house, and said that her business was to
consult him on the propriety, or otherwise
of her accepting an offer of marriage
which site had received. Now, for the
first time, occurred to the Bristol merchant
the idea of this holy state in his own case.
"Marriage," said he listlessly, turning
over some West India correspondence,
"well, I suppose everybody ought to mar
ry, though such a thing never occurred to
me before. Have you given this gentle
man an affirmative answer?" "No" Are
your feelings particularly engaged in the
matter ?" "Not particularly." "Well,
then, madam," said he, turning round his
office stool, if that be the case, and if you
could dispense with courtship, for which
I have no dine, and think you could be
comfortable with me, I am your humble
servant to command." There were peo
ple who thought that the lady had a pur
pose in going there, but, if so, she pru
dently disguised it. She said she would
consider the matter. The Bristol mer
chant saw her out with the same cool- -
ness as if she was merely one of his cor
respondents, and when she was gone five
minutes, was once more immersed in his
letters and ledgers. A day or two after
wards, he had a communication from the
lady, accepting his ofler, very consider
ately exempting him from an elabrote
courtship, and leaving him to name the
"most convenient day." They were mar
ried.
The Five Daughters.
A gentleman had five daughters, all of
whom he brought up to some respectable
occupation in life. These daughters mar
ried one after another, with the consent of
their father. The first, married a gentle
man by the name of Poor; the second, a
Mr. Little ; the third, a Mr. Short ; the
fourth, a Mr. Brown ; the fifth a Mr.
Hogg. At the wedding of the latter, her
sisters, with their husbands, were pres
ent. After the ceremonies of the wedding
were over the old gentleman said to the
guests, I have taken great pains to ed
ucate my fivo daughters, that they might
act well their parts in life, and from their
advantage and improvements, I fondly ho
ped that they would do honor to the family
and now I find that all my pains, cares,
and expectations have turned out, nothing
but a Poor, Little, Short, Brown, Hogg."
ner!Aind your earn
The Aurora Borealis.
HYPOTIMI3IB : The rays of the sun are
forces which strike upon the earth, distur
bing the atoms of matter upon her surface
—the atoms comprising rocks and metals,
and animals and vegetables, ns well as
those comprising water—and thereby caus
ing evaporation. Tho vapor ascends in
lines, not paralel with the equator—unless
where it generated directly upon the equa
tor—but diverging outward either way,
the divergence being in proportion to the
distance outward ; so that there will be
considerable portoions of the vapor in the
vicinity of the poles, (I think there must
be southern as well as northern lights, un
less there may be an insufficiency of ma
terial, of the earths and metals, in the
southern hemisphere out of which to pro
duce them.) This vapor retains the mo
tion which it had while a part of the
earth, or of the substances upon the
earth, namely, the motion round the
earth's axis ; and as then this motion
was greater in parts near the equator
than in parts removed front it, so it will
be now : portions of the vapor
ari
sing from the regions of the tropics will
I move much faster than portions arising
from regions within the circles. Hence,
when the vapor has become condensed (has
descended within a similar circumference)
in the vicinity of the poles, the motion
from west to east which is appearent to
the observer. The light itself is an effect
of chemical action among the particles
of vapor. This chemical action may
take place and the vapor still retain its
form; that is, still continue vapor though
a different kind from the original ; or sub
stances such as grains of sand, metallic
dust, ureteric stones, shooting stars, and
animal matter may be the result.
G. W. EVELETIL
Recipe Washing Clothes.
The night before washing day put the
clothes of soak hi cold water, and also
place on the hot stove, in a suitable ves
sel, two pounds to common soap; cut into
small pieces, one ounce of borax, (which
may hi obtained at any of our hardware
or country stores,) and two quarts of wa
ter. These may be left to simmer till the
fire goes out ; in the morning the mixture
will be solid. On washing day, opera
tions are commenced by setting the wash
kettle on a stove or turimee, nearly filled
with cold water. Into this put about one
fourth of a pound of the compound, and
then wring out the clothes that have been
soaking and put thcia into the kettle. By
the time the water is scalding hot, the
cl....hes will be ready to take out. Drain
them well, and put them into cold water,
and then thoroughly rhino them twice, and
they are ready to be hung out. When
more water is added to the soap kettle,
more soap should also be added, but the
quantity needed will be very small.
This process has many advantages over
others. It is suited for washing every
kind of fabric; it is especially good for
flannels, and seems to set colors rather
than remove them from dresses and shoe, is
while the white clothes are rendered ex
ceedingly white. It costs less for soap
than the common made of washing; it is
only half as laborious ; the clothes are
thoroughly cleansed in much less time,
without injury to them, and last, but not
least, the soap does not injure the clothes
in the least, or act like caustic upon the
hands, but after a day's washing the
hands have a peculiarly soft, silky feel,
as far removed as is possible from the sen
sations produced by washing with ordina
ry soap, or ordinafy washing compounds.
.....--
Horse Shoeing.
Many horses are injured by careless
shoeing. Their feet diflbr so much that
it requires great judgement and a thorough
knowledge of their anatomical structure.
Smiths generally pare the heel too much
or do not pare the toe enough. The frog
should be permitted to grow sufficiently to
strike the ground before the hoof opposite;
it rarely grows too long; it is intended by
nature to prevent the heavy jar produced
by weight. When the heel is much low
er than the toe, the cords of the legs be
come strained, and ihe legs sore and stiff
and the horse will move awkwardly, which
is attributed too often to founder, when the
cause is bad shoeing. Some burn the toe
oft; this is very injurious. So far as the
heat penetrates, it destroys the circulation
which gives the toughness. The hoof
necessarily becomes very brittle, and is li
able to crack. Great care should be taken
in driving tho nails, to see that they, do
not split and enter the quick, and cause
lameness.
lir A western editor, in answer to a
complaint of a patron that he did not give
news enough, told him when news was
scarce to read the Bible, which he had no
doubt would be news to
P -[WXBOTBR
Mit id Anwar.
THE DOESTICK LETTERS-CONTINUED,
FIRST COMPLETE COLLECTION.
Original Views of Men and Things.
HUMOROUS ASPECTS OF AMERICAN
LIFE.
V.—Doesticks Visiteth the Museum.
SEVENTY HUNDRED AND ONE, NARROW 9T.
Mr. EDITOR :-I have now been a resi
dent of this City long enough to know
something of the localities thereto apper
taming—know where the City Hall is—
ditto Hospital. Also where the Astor
House is generally located—can tell the
general direction of Mercer and Bowery
sts., from the Crystal Palace—and can, at
most times of day, point out Trinity Church
with a tolerable degree of accuracy. Have
been to the Battery, for which I paid a
shilling to thu dilapidated Hibernian who
attends the iron portal—afterwards visited
(by particular desire) the cocked hat sha
ped Sahara known as the "City Hall
Square," saw the splendid fountain, with
its symmetrical basin hlled with golden
fishes (as I was credibly informed, I could
not exactly perceive them myself,) in the
midst of its elegaht miniature forest, (yet
in its infancy) gazed, with admiration, at
the ancient structure denominated the Ci
ty Flall—said to have been built by the
ancient Greeks, of which I have not the
slightest doubt, as all the avenues leading
thereto were thronged with modern Greeks,
whose general costume was not so classi
cally
correct as I could have wished--
looked at the glorious fountain which
adorns the center of the spacious lawn—
admired the magnificent proportions of the
vast forest trees which rear their lofty
forms therein--gazed, long and earnestly
at the glittering jet (not quite so lofty as I
had been led to suppose) of the magnifi
cent fountain which embellishes the prince.
ly grounds—then turned to look at a cir
cular edifice, which, I confess, did not
striko me as being retnarkable for archi
tectural beauty, but which, undoubtedly,
is exceedingly useful—then turned to
1 feast my wondering eyes upon the dia
mond glittering drops of a fountain near
at hand ; looked, with much approbation
upon the wide and spacious avenues, and
the clearly graveled walks, and also at a
fountain near by, which I think I have be
fore mentioned; surveyed the other fine
buildings near at hand, which adorn and
beautify that triangular piece of earth;
and ever returned with constantly increas
ing gratification, to view a beautiful lake,
in the center thereof :vin the midst of
which, burst faith, in aqueous glory, the
waters of a fountain ; soon, convinced that
I had seen my :noney's worth, I prepared
to leave—casting one longing, lingering
look behind, (as my friend L. E. G. Gray
says,) at the glorious old, classic ruin—the
Hall--and the pluvial splendors of the
fountain. Went out, but, looking back,
perceived, ia the splendid perk I had just
left, there rose, in "misty majesty," (vide
somebody,) the jet of a fountain. Resolv
ed to return, and have another look at the
ivied and crumbling ruins, and also, to in
spect, minutely, a fountain, which I now
perceived, hard by.
Wishing to be perfectly posted up, I
went to the Post Office, (the Evening
Post Office,) and obtained a paper, con
taining the latest news of the day, and al
so a list of entertainments for the even
ing. Wishing to see the Museum, of
which I had read, andalso to behold Bar
num, of whom I had heard some men
tion, (in connection, I think, with one
Thomas Thumb, and Joice Heth, an anti
quated and venerable lady, colored, who
afterwards died,) I determined, instantly,
to visit that place of delectation, "perfect
ly regardless of expense." Arrived at
the door, man demanded a quarter, but,
like Byron's Dream, HI had no further
change," so, was necessitated to get a bill
broke; offered him Washtenaw, but that
was too effectually broke to suit his pur
pose. Got in, somehow, after a lengthy
delay, and some internal profanity.
Soon after my entrance, a young man,
attired in a dress coat, a huge standing col
lar, and a high hat, introduced himself as
"A. Damphool, Esq.," gentleman of leis
ure, and man about town. Having never
before had any experience of a class of
individuals who compose, lam told. a
large proportion of the masculine popula
tion of the City, I eagerly embraced the
opportunity of making his acquaintance.
He also presented his friend, "Bull nog
ge," and we three then proceeded to view
the curiosities; we commenced with the
double-bnrreled nigger-baby, [which Bull
Dogge says is au illegitimate devil}—went
.on to the rhiroearo•, who it , always pro
VOL. 20. NO. 10.
vided with a horn, Barnum's temperance
talk to the contrary, nevertheless--the
Happy Family--the two legged calf, [B.
D. says it is not the only one in the City,]
a red darkey—a green Yankee, a white
Irishman, [Damphool says that this latter
individual is an impossibility, and could
only have originated with Barnum] wax
figure of a tall man in a blue coat, with a
star on his breast, [Damphool says it is a
policeman who was found when he was
wanted ; but Bull Dogge says there never
was any such person, and that the whole
story is a Gay fable,] found, by the pro
gramme, that it is supposed to represer. t
Louis Napoleon; never knew before, that
he had one eye black and one eye blue.
[B. D. asserts that the usual custom is to
bare one eye both black and blue;] wax
model of the railroad man who swindled
the community, [now living on his money,
and President of the Foreign Mission So
ciety for the Suppression of Pilfering, in
the Foo Foo Islands;] wax figure of the
abandoned, dissolute, and totally depraved
woman, who filched half a loaf of bread
to give to her hungry children, and who
was very properly sent to Blackwell's Is
land for it—also of the City Contractor
who did clean the streets—[Damphool
states that he is residing at Utica.] Saw
a great multitude of monkeys, streaked
face, white face, black face, hairy face,
bald face, [Bull Dogge prefers the latter,]
with a great assortment of tails, differing
in length, and varying as to color, long
tails, short tails, stump tails, ring tails,
wiry tails, curly tails, tails interesting and
insinuating, tails indignant and uncompro
mising, big tails, little tails, bob tails,
(Damphool suggests Robert narratives,)
and no tails; (Bull Dogge says that some
effetninate descendants of this latter class
now promenade Broadway ; and he
swears that they have greatly degenera
ted in intelligence;) pictures, paddles.
pumpkins, carriages, corals, lava, boats.
breeches, boa constrictors, shells, ores,
snakes, toads, butterflies, liaards, bears,
reptiles, reprobates, bugs, bulls, bats,
birds, petrifactions, pntrifactions, model
railroads, model churns, model gridirons,
model artists, model babies, cockneys,
cockades, cockroaches, cocktails, scalps,
thomashawks, Noah's ark, Paganini's fid
dle, Old Grimes' coat, autocrats, autobiog
raphies, autographs, Otto Goldschmidt,
who ought to be whipped, ought to be
shot, ought to be hanged, ought to be burn
ed in an Auto do Fe, chickens, cheeses,
codfish, Shanghais, mud•turtlee, alligators,
moose, mermaids, hay-scales, scale armor,
monsters, curiosities from Rotterd—ta,
Amsterd--m, Beaverd—m, Chow Sing,
Tchinsing, Linsiog, Lansing, Sing Sing,
cubebs, cart-wheels, mummies, heroes,
poets, idiots, maniacs, benefactors, male
factors, pumps, porcupines, and pill-ma
chines, all mingled, mixed, and conglom
erated, like a Connecticut chowder, or the
Jew-soup of the Witches in Macbeth.
Up stairs, at last, and into an adolescent
t heater, christened a Lecture-Room, (Dam
phool says it is known as the Deacon's
Theater, and that all his pious namesakes
attend.) Saw the play, laughed, cried,
sneezed, snorted, and felt good all over.
Much pleased with a bit of lun origina
ting in a jealous fireman, and terminating
in a free fight. e
Fireman Nose saw Rose, his sweet
heart, with Joe the hackman ; got jealous,
pitched into him---fun--thought of Tom
Hood, and went off at half cock—thus
Enter Rose with Joe, sees Mose, Mose
beaus Rose ; Rose knows those beaux foes,
Joe's bellicose, se's Mose, Muse blows
Joe's nose, Joe's blows nose Mose, Rose
Oh's, Mose hoes Joe's rows, Joe's blows
chose Mose's nose, Mose shows Joe's nose
blows, Joe's nose grows none, Mose knows
Joe's nose shows those blows, Joe goes,
Nose crows.
P. S. Joe being whipped, and, more
over, being the only innocent one in the
whole fight, was arrested by the vigilant
and efficient police.
P. P. S. Damphool says that Joe tree.
ted the Emerald conservators of tho pub
lic quiet, and is again at large.
Let Mose beware. Yours,
Q. K. PUILANDER DOISTICKB, P. B,
ig I never go to church," said a
county tradesman to his parish clergyman;
ol always spend Sunday in settling ac
counts." The minister immediately re
plied, "You will find, Sir, that the day of
judgment will be spent in the same man.
ner."
A uuserrorour mother's mother
was my mother's aunt, what relation would
your greet grandfather's nephew be to my
elder brother's eon•in law ?
'Tut Eaqiiiniaux aays Bayard Tay
lor, are afraid to die of a windy day, lest
their •oul, should be blown away.