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BY WM. BREWSTER.
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4cted vo dry.
THINKS I TO MYSELF.
I saw her again but a few days ago,
—Why will she come down to the city ?
The name of the lady is—Abigal Snow;
Yet, thinks I to myself, she is pretty,
And witty,
Thinks I to myself she is pretty.
And methinks I've seen her somewhere before,
And ask it for a lock of her hair ;
But I'vo seen of girls so many a score,
That hang me if I could tell where ;
I declare
I couldn't tell when or whore.
But now both the time and place I remember,
(She wore that very same dress I)
At a certain hotel in the month of November,
We suet in the hall, I guess ;
0 yes,
And our lips, too, they met, I guess.
Thinks I she would make a good partner fur life
But sho's book'd by another, 1 s'pose,
And perhaps the poor fellow's in want of a wife,
Or else I'd surely propose;
Goodness knows.
As it was, I did more than propose.
But thinks Ito myself after all it's a pity
She's tied and cannot undo it,
Though, thinks f, if she comes so oft to the city,
Some day her lover will rue it,
Will rue it;
Thinks I to myself he'll rue it.
But if 'satisfaction' he wants, my revolver
Is ready to win or to lose ;
And then if he's forced at last to absolve her,
I'll step right into his shoes,
The goose,
I'll step right into his shoes.
titrt Cale.
A THRILLING SEA STORY.
BY AN EYE WITNESS.
It was at the close of a stormy day, in the
year 1835, when the gallant frigate Constitu•
tion, under the command of Capt. Elliott, haw.
ing on board the late Edward Livingston, then
Minister at the Court of France, and family,
end manned by nearly five hundred souls, drew
near to• 'chops' of the English channel. For
four days she had been beating down from
Plymouth, and ou the fifth evening, she made
her track for the French coast.
'rho watch was set at eight P. H., the Cap.
thin came on deck soon after, and having as
certained the bearing of Scilly, gave orders to
keep tho ship 'full and bye,' remarking at the
same time to the officer of the deck, that he
might make the light of the lee beam ; but he
would pass it without seeing it. He then 'turn
ed in,' as did most of the idlers and the star
board watch.
At a quarter past nine, P. M., the ship head
ed west by compass, when the call of 'Light
hot' was heard from the foretopsail yard.
' Where away?' asked the oflicer of the
deck,
'Three points to the lee bow,' replied the
lookout man, which the unprofessional man
will understand to mean very nearly straight
ahead.
At this moment the Captain appeared and
took the trumpet.
' Call all hands l' whistled the boatswain,
with a long, shrill summons, familiar to the
ears of all who have ever been on hoard a man
if . war.
4 ‘.1 BEE NO STAR ABOVE TUE LIOBIZON, 111031131G0 MOOT TO GUIDE US, BUT TLIE
All hands!' screamed the boat•swain's man,
and ere the echo died away, all but the sick
were en deck.
The ship wits staggering through a heavy
swell from the Bay of Biscay, the gale which
had been blowing several days, had increased
to a severity that was not to be made light of.
The breakers, where Sir Cloudesly Shovel and
his fleet were destroyed in the days of Queen
Ann, sang their song of death before, nod the
Dead Man's Ledge replied in coarser notes be
hind us. To go ahead—seemed to be death,
and to go about was sure destruction.
The first thing that caught the eye of the Cap
tain was the furled mainsail, which he had or•
dered to be carried throughout the evening—
that hauling up of which, contrary to the last
order he had given on leaving the deck, had
caused the ship to full off to leeward two points,
and had thus led her into a position on a Nee
shore," upon which a strong gale was blowing
here, in which the chance of safety appeared to
stoutest nerves most helpless. That sole
chance consisted in standing on, to carry us
through the breakers of Scilly or by a close
graze along their outer ledges. Was this des
tined to be the end of our gallant old Ship,
consecrated by prayer and blessing.
Who ordered the mainsail up, when I or.
dered it set I cried the Captain iu a tremen
does voice.
$1 25
1 50
Finding that she pitched her bows under, I
took it in, and your general orth7r, that the of
of the dock should carry sail according to
his discretion, replied the Lieutenant in com
mand.
' Heave the log; was the prompt command
to the master's mate.
The lug was thrown.
'How fast does sho go ?'
'Five knots and a half, sir.'
'Board the main tack, sir.'
'She will not bear it, sir,' said the °nicer of
the deck.
'Board the main tack thundered the cap
tain ; 'Keep her full and bye, quarter-master
'Aye, aye, air.'
T6e tack was boarded,
'Haul aft the main sheet,' shouted the Cap
tain; and aft it went, like the spreading of a
sea-birds wing, giving the huge sail to the
gale.
'Give her the lee helm when she goes into
the seal' cried the Captain.
'Aye, aye, sir I bile has it,' growled out the
sea-dog at the binnacle.
'Right your helm ; keep her full and bye l'
'Aye, aye, sir, full and bye she 6; was the
prompt answer from the helm.
'How fast does she go.'
'Nine knots and half, sir.'
'How bears the light?'
'Nearly abeam sir.'
'Keep her away half a point.'
'How fast does she go?'
'Niece knots, sir.'
'Steady so 1' returned the captain.
'Steady 1' answered the helmsman, and all
was silent as the grave upon that crowded
deck, except the howling of the storm, for a
space of thee that seemed to the emagination
almost an age.
It was a trying hour to us; unless we could
carry sail so as to go at the rate of nine knots
au hour, wo must of necessity dash upon Scil
ly : and who ever touched upon those rocks and
lived during a storm ?
The sea ran very high,the rain fell in sheets,
the sky was one black curtain, illuminated on
ly by the faint light which was to mark our de
struction. The wind had got above whistling
—it came in puffs that flattened the waves,
and made our old frigate settle to her bearings
while everything on board seemed to be crack
ing to pieces. At this moment the carpenter
reported that the left bolt of the tbre•ahroud
had drawn.
"Got on the has, and set them on all the
weather-shrouds. Keep her at small helm,
quartermaster, and ease her in the sea, wore
the orders of the captain.
The lulls were soon put upon the weather
shrouds, which, of course, relieved the china
and channels; but many an anxious eye was
turned towards the remaining bolts, for upon
them depended the masts; and upon the masts
the safety of the ship—for with one foot of can
vass less she could not live fifteen minutes.
Onward plunged the over-laden frigate, and
at every surge she seemed bent upon making
the deep the sailor's grave, and her live oak
sides his coffin of glory. She had been fitted
out at Boston when the thermometer was be
low zero. Her shrouds of course, therefore
slackened at every strain, and her unwieldy
masts—for she had those designed for the fri
gate Cumberland, a much larger Ship—seem
ed ready to jump out of tier.
And now, while all was apprehension, an•
other bolt drew—and then another—until at
last our whole stay was placed upon a single
bolt less than at man's wrist in circumference.
Still the iron clung to the solid wood, and bore
us alonside the breakers, though in a most
frightful proxhnity to them. This thrilling in
cident has never, I believe, been noticed in
public, but it is the literal fact—which I make'
not the slightest attempt to embellish.
As we galloped on—for I can compare our
vessel's leaping to nothing else—the rocks
seemed very near us. Dark as was the night,
the white foam scowled around their black
heads, while the spray fell over us, and the
thunder of the dashing surge sounded like the
awful knell that the ocean was singing for the
victims it was eager to engulph.
At length the light , bore upon our quarter
and the bold Atlantic rolled its white caps be
fore us. During this time all was silent each
officer and man was at his post, and the bear.
ing and countenance of the captain seemed to
give encouragement to every person on board.
With but a bare possibility of saving the ship
and those on board, he relied on his nautical
skill and courage, and by carrying the main
sail, which in any other situation would have
been eonsirlered a suieilal net, "he weathered
HUNTINGDON, PA., WONESDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 1854.
the lee shore, and saved the Constitution I'
The mainsail was now hauled up, by the
light hearts and strong hands, the jib and
spanker taken in, and front the light of the
Scilly, the gallant vesJel, under close reefed
topsails and main trysails, took her departures,
and danced merrily over the deep towards the
United States.
'Pipe down I said the Captain to the first
Lieutenant, 'and splice the main brace.'
'Pipe down echoed the first Lieutenant to
Ole boatswain.
'Pipe down whistled the boatswain to the
crew, and 'pipe &Wu' it was.
'How near the rocks did we go?' said Ito
one of the master's mates, the next morning.
lle made no reply, but taking down a chart,
showed me a pencil line between the outside
shoal and the Light house Island, which
must hare been a small strait thr a fisherman
to run his smack through in good weather by
day-light,
For what is the noble and dear old frigate
preserved I
I went upon deck ; the sea was calm, a gen
tle-breeze was swelling our canvas Irons our
mainsail to royal, the isles of Scilly had sunk
in the eastern waters, and the clouds of the dy
ing storm were rolling off in broken masses to
the northward and westward, like the flying
columns of a beaten army.
I have been in many a gale of wind, and
have passed-through scenes of great danger,
but never before nor since, have I experienced
an hour so terrible as that when the Constitu
tion was laboring with the lives of live hund
red men hanging on a single small from bolt,
to weather Scilly on the night of the 11th of
May, 1833.
During the gale, Mrs. Livingston inquired
of the captain if we were not in great danger
to which ho replied, as soon as we had passcd
Scilly. "You are as safe as you would be in
aisle of a church.
It is singular that the frigate Boston, Capt.
McNeal, about the close of the revolution, es
caped a similar danger while employed in car
rying out to France, Chancellor Livingston, a
relative of Edward's and also Minister to the
Court of St. Cloud. Ho likewise had his wife
on board, and while the vessel was weathering
a lee shore, Mrs. Livingston asked the captain
—a rough but old fire eater—if they were not
in danger to whiclrhe replied—" You had bet
ter, sundaes, get down upon your knees, and
pray to God to forgive your various sins, for if
we do not curry by this point, Wo shall all be
down in five minutes."
Voctq.
To my Little Cousin, with her first
Bonnet.
A pretty, playful little poem by Caroline
Bowles, afterwards Mr, Southey.
Fairies, guard the baby's bonnet !
Sot a special watch upon it;
Ellin people! to your care
I commit it, fresh and fair;
Neat as neetness—white as snow—
See ye keep it over so.
Watch and ward set all about—
Some within arid some without :
Over it with dainty hand,
On her births greets expand;
Two or three about the bow
Vigilant concerts bestow;
A score, at least t on either side,
'Giants evil accident provide;
Fall or jar, or overlay;
And so the precious charge convey,
Trough all the dangers of the way.
But when those are battled through,
Fairies I more remains to do;
Ye must gift, before ye go,
The bonnet and the babe also.
{lift it to protect her well,
Faysl from all malignant spell;
Charms and seasons to defy,
Blighting wind and evil eye,
And the bonny babel on her
All your choicest gifts confer.
Just as much of wit and sense
As may be hers, without pretence ;
Just as much of grace and beauty
As shall not interfere with duty;
Just as much of sprightliness
As shall companion gentleness;
Just as much lighthearted cheer
Aa may be melted to a tear,
By a word—a tone—a look—
Pity's touch, or Love's rebuke.
As much of frankness, bland and free,
As my consort with modesty ;
As much of feeling, as will bear
Of after life the wear and tear ;
As much of life.—but Fairies! there
Ye vanish into thinnest air
And with ye, parts the playful vein
That loved a light ani trivial strain.
Befits me better, babe! for thee
r invoke Almighty agency;
Almighty loye—Almighty power,
To nurture up the human flower;
To cherish it with heavenly dew,
Sustain with earthly blesiiings too;
And when the ripe, full time shall be,
Engraft it on Eternity.
lleS.Why was the first - day of Adam's life
like the longest ever known? Because it had
no live I
A Now BANK.—IL is oak! by the Warren
Nall that Gov. Bigler has signed the bill pas
sed by the lust Legislature for a bank at that
place. The Governor would hardly have been
beaten worse, if he had signed this bill before
the election.
Ipl.lt is remarked by something of a wag
that where twenty persona have stomachs but
one has brains I—hence brewers grow rich
while printers remain poor. Philosophical
tSt
(-441 .. , 1 • , 4/ "ez!"?
(I T
e
.4 !
I 1•E
ITELLIGENT, PATRIOTIC, UNITED WIIIO PARTY 01? TUE UNITED STATES.".
Igi:s',Cillantrattii.
About e - Weather.
The gentleman wh presides over the local
columns of the:Eamitiiner now and then dashes
off some very good.aiid true things. The fol
lowing is one of the e' We give it because it
i( really good I,'
' " What _ disconilm . , selfish, grumbling.,
growling, sore -head, -to•plense-things men
and woman are. ng is ever right.—
Wrong —wroug, ant thing but, wrong is the
endless harden cif cir song. But a short
thou sines. every bodyland his with were scold
ing about the wsmthee. Would it never rain.
. ~..
The dust would positively kill them. Then
there came rain—a slow drizzling, half made
op one. Such a rain! Every drop collected
into a pint tin cup, would not be enough to
drown a fly. They Would rather have than
such a mi,erable apology, and rolling their
dLeontent and unmitigated contempt to
gether, they turn up their noses at the weath
er noel went—one to •Ing prayer melting and
the other to his mating-house. But notwith
standing the growlinthe rain continued corn
ingt demi, down, unti 'at last there was a per
fect deluge, (we me on a small scale,) and
then the growler oncomore let loose. Such a
rain why it conics dote .t in torrents—the streets
are covered with wattle—and the side walks
impassable. Umbreliits ain't or no use nor
gum shoes either. it comes eight straight
Intro through the one, and runs in over the
tops of the others. Nothing can Leif it out--
it will soak in and soak through. Nobody is
satisfied but your true philosopher, who takes
everything us it comes and the don't care hat
less urchin en the street, who pokes fun at you
as yen pass—and cries "hurry along or you'll
gin wet." But all sublunary things must have
an end, a turning off place or winding up—even
so must the weather have,—and hence as we
write, the dark clouds are rollins away, the
sky looks bright to the north--here and there
a spot of blue is seen, with a streak or two of i
sunshine piercing through, the as we opine
the clerk of the weather has made his entry—
laid slows to rest, oven so will we cease writing
about the grumble es and the weather, and try
to take the world easy for awhile.
Discontent•
How universal it is I We never knew the man
who would say "I am joutented.' Co where
you will, among the rich or the poor, the man
of competence or the man who earns his bread
by the daily sweet of his brow, you bear the
sound of mourning and the voice of complaint.
The other day we stood by a cooper, who was
playing a merry tune with au adze round a
cask.
"Ah!" sighed'he, " mine is a hard lot—for
ever trotting round like a dog, driving a hoop."
"Heigh° I" sighed a blacksmith, one of the
hot days, as he whiped away the drops of per.
spiraton from his brow while the red hot iron
glowerd upon his anvil, this is life with a ven.
genre, melting and frying nun's self over the
fire
"Oh , that I were a carpenter !" ejeculated
a shoemaker, as he bent over his lap stone.—
"Here I am, day after day, working my soul
away in makng soles for others, coopered up
in a seven by nine room."
. "I am sick of this out door world!" exclaims
the carpenter. ',broiling and sweltring under
the sun, or exposed to the inclemancy of the
weather. If I was a tailor."
" This is too bad! "perpetually the tailor
to be compelled to sit perched up hero plying
the needle all the while—would that mine was
a more active life I"
"Last day of grace ; the bank won't discount;
customers won't pay ; what shall I do!" grtun-
Ides the merchant. "I hail rather be a truck
horse—a dog —anything I"
"Happy fellow l" groans the lawyer, as he
scratches his head over some perplexing case,
or pores over some dry record; "happy fellow!
I had rather hammer stone. than cudgel my
brain on this teiduus vexations question."
And through ull the ramifications of society
all are complaining of their condition—finding
fault with their particular calling. "If I were
only this, or that, or the other, I should be con
tent—anything but what I am," is the univer
sal cry. So wag the world, so it has wagged,
and so it will witg.—..4merican Union.
The Mormons
It is indeed a foul blot upon the character of
this Union, and upon the intelligence of the
Nineteenth century, that the infatuated and
licentious sect known 118 "Mormons," should
have been suffered, in violatit ion of laws of Gad
and man, to grow and flourish to the dangerous
extent they have reached, both in numbers
and in the influence of their degrading and
immoral practices, upon society at large. They
a re literally a race of Polygamists, Ahmed by
God and should be discountenanced and utter
ly abhorred by man.
The Newark Daily Adeerliser,in alluding to
them, thus speaks of them :—"While we are
talking of popular sovereignty in teritories, and
the unconstitutionality of govermental intuit!.
retie° Uteri,,, it will he well to consider, what
is soon to be done about Brigham Young and
his Mormons. Shall we sulfa. them to set up
u Turkish government fur theuttelves, and defy
any goverucr, judges and other magistrates
sent out to them.
Shall Young be borne with in his threat, that
every man that comes to impose upon his peo
ple, whoever ho may be, and by whomsoever
sent thereby lays the are to the root to kill him
self, and had better be careful how he
coves to Utah, lest he shall bond bin little
fing s rt not the government a right to govern
in the Territories, and crush this insufferable
insolence, and dangerous anomaly ? Shall
that ever he admttted to this Union, so lunges
polygamy continues to be the abomination of
Mormon legislation ? These people must be
shorn their dory and place decidedl7.
Hard of Hearing.
A LovE STORY.
A young Jonathan once courted the daugh
ter of an old man that lived "down cast," who
professed to be deficient in hearing, but, for
sooth, was more cautions than limited in hear
ing, as the sequel will show.
It was a stormy night in the ides of March,
if I mistake not, when lightning, and the loud
peals of thunder answered thunder that Jona
than sat by the old man's fireside, discussing
with the old lady, (his intended mother-in-law)
on the expediency of asking the old man's
permission to marry "Sal." Jonathan resol
ved to "pop it" to the old matt the next day.
Night passed, and by the dawn of another day
the old man was found in his barn-lot, feeding.
Jonathan rose from his bed early in the morn
ing, spied the old man feeding his pigs, and re
solved to ask for Sal.
Scarce had a minute elapsed, after Jonathan
made his resolution, crc ho bid the old man
'good morning.' Now Jonathan's heart ; now
he scratched his head, and ever and anon gave
birth to a pensive yawn. Jonathan declared
that he'd as lid take thirty-nine "stripes"
as to ask the old man ; "but," said he, aloud
to himself, however, here's go it, "a faint heart
never won a fair gal," and addressed the old
man thus:
"I say, old man, I want to marry your ditugh•
ter."
Old Man.—" You want to borrow my halter,
I would lend it to you, Jonathan, but my son
has taken it and gone to the mill."
Jonathan.—"( Putting his mouth close to the
old man's ear, and speaking in a deafening
voice,) "I've got five hundred pounds of mon
ey 1"
Old ...Inn.—Stepping back as 'it greatly
alarmed, and exclaimed in a voice of surprise,
" you have got live hundred pounds of honey?
What iu the mischief can you do with so much
honey, Jonathan? Why it is more than thd
whole neighborhood has use for."
Jonathan.—(Not yet the victim of despair,
and putting his mouth to the old man's ear,
bawled outj"rve got gold."
Old Alan.—"So have I, Jonathan, and it is
the worst cold I ever had in my life." So say
ing he sneezed a "wash up."
By this time the old lady came up, and hav
ing observed Jonathan's unfortunate luck, she
p ut her mouth to the old man's ear, and
screamed like a wounded Yahoo:
'Daddy,. 1 say Daddy—you Zap'. 'wdar•
stand ; he wants to marry our daughter."
Old Man.—"l told him our calf halter was
gone."
Old Lady.—" Why Daddy you don't under
stand—he's got gold—he's rich l"
Old Man.—"lfe's got a cold and the itch,ehl
What's he doing with the itch eh ?" So say
ing the old man aimed a blow at Jonathan's
head with his walking cane, but happily for
Jonathan, he dodged it. Nor did the rage of
the old man stop at this, but with angry coun
tenance he made after Jonathan, who took to
his heels; nor did Jonathan's luck stop hero, he
had not got out of the barnyard, not far from
the old man, who run him a close race, ere
Jonathan stumped his toe and fell to the
ground, and before the old man could "take
up," he stumbled over Jonathan and fell spraw
ling in a mud hole. Jonathan sprung to his
heels, and with the speed of John Wipes clear
ed himself. And poor Sal she died a nun.
.Nixer had a husband.
The Honey-Moon Beason.
The Sandusky Register affirms that the
"honey-moon season" is raging some in its
neighborhood, and publishes the following di
agnosis of the "affection: for tho benefit of
those who may fall victims to its ravages:
21 day—speechless ecstasy-•--bliss impossi
ble to be expressed.
sth day—bliss still in the ascendent ; appe
tite begins to "look up."
9th day—Lady eats her dinner without being
kissed between every mouthful. •
12th day—"Oh f you naughty boy ?" not said
quite so frequently.
15th day—Gentleman fancies a walk solos
comes home and discovers his charmer in
tears.
16th day—Gentleman and lady have return
ed to the world of sighs, gentle chitlings and
promises "never to go alone in future." Are
invisible nearly all day.
18th day—Ludy is presented with a magnifi
cent breastpin ; gentleman consults her about
the details of their domestic arrangements.
21st day—Gentleman and lady fancy a little
change, and go to church.
25th day—Lady begins to "pick up„ prepar.
atory to returning from her wedding tour; gen
tleman assists her, and only kisses her once
during the operation.
28th day—On the journey, gentleman keeps
his "lady bird" very snug.
29th day—Commits the dreadful faux pas of
falling asleep in each other's company.
30th day--Arrive at home; greeted by moth.
er•in•law; hugs her dear son, and vanishes aloft
with her daughter; husband dancing atten.
cance in sitting room for two hours, already
feels savage while because the dinner is get
ting cold and spirit begins to rebel against the
mother and Amelia. Amelia presently de.
wends looking very charming; husband
brightens up, dinner put on the table; mother.
in-law drinks wine and is effected to tears ;
Amelia consoles her ..51a." Evening wears ow;
mother-in-law leaves; Agnst us returns inward
thanks, and goes to bed, determined to be at
the store very early in the morning and wake
up the clerks.
NOT QVITE SO HAPPY A lIIT.-By another
child: " Charlie, what makes your cheelm so
red ?" asked his sister's admirer, of &little tar
chin five ycarsuld.
" Cause 1 put some of sister's paiut ea.
She puts it on every day. "
It was an embarrassing disclosure to all a
round. At least Charlie thought so aim the
ri..;tor \I . :, zone.
[ WEBEITZIC
Tombstone Poetry.
St. Philip's churchyard, Birmingham, con
tains the following happy speeitnen of what
may he termed the Hibernian sentimental,
Ohl cruel death, how could you be so unkind
To take him before and leave hint bellied?
You should have taken both of us, if either,
Which would have been more pleasing to the
survivor I
One Ann Collins had the misfortune to full
into a cask of beer, in the neighborhood of the
village of King Stanley, and the coroner's jury,
having brought in a verdict of found drowned,
the poet—some despairing lover, perhaps—
thus records upon her tomb the sad story of
her fate:
'Twas as she tripped from cask to cask,
In at a bung-hole quickly fell i
Suffocation was her task, -
''She had no time to say farewell."
The following, which is still to be found in
Braunstod churchyard, is an example of the
anti.orthogmphical —the semi•eynical, the spot.
optical and the pious. William Barrows thus
confesses himself to posterity:
'Tis true I led a single life,
I sore was married in my life;
For of that sox I sore had none—
It is the Lord ; his will be done.
The following , was formerly to be found in
Ashburton churchyard:
Here I lie at the chancel door;
Here I lie, because I am poor;
The farther in the more you pay,
Here I lie as warm as they.
The following. may be found in Fortson,
cemetery
What was she?
What every good woman ought to be,
That was she.
My Mother never tells Lies.
Some females, says the Si. Louis Observer,
met at the house of a friend, in that city, for
an evening visit, when the following scene and
conversation occurred :
The child of one of the females, about five
years old, was guilty of rude, noisy conduct,
very improper on all occasions, and portico.
lady so at a stranger's house. The mother
kindly reproved her:
'Sarah you must not do so.'
The child soon forgot the reproof and be
came us noisy as ever. The mother firmly
said,
'Sarah, it yeale-ea again I will certainly
punish you.
But not long after, Sarah 'did so again.'—
When the company were about to separate, the
mother stepped into a neighbor's house, intend
ing to return for the child. During her ab
sence the thought of going home recalled to
the mind of Sarah the punishment, which her
mother told her she might expect. The recol
lection turned her rudeness and thoughtfulness
to sorrow. A. young lady present, observing it,
and learning the cause, in order to pacify her
said,
`ilever mind, I will ask your mother not to
whip you.'
'Oh,' said Sarah, 'that will do no good, My
mother near tells lies.
Said my informant, who is also a parent,
I learned a lesson from the reply of that child,
which I shall never forget. It is worth every
thing in the training of a child, to make it feel,
that its Mother never tells lies.'
Why Should a Man Swear.
I conceive of no reason why he should, but
of ten why ho should not.
1. It is mean. A man of high moral stan•
ding would almost as soon steal a sheep as
swear.
2. It is vulgar. altogether too low for a
decent man.
3. It is cowardly; implying a fear either of
not being believed or obeyed.
4. It is ungentlemanly. A gentleman, ac
cording to Webster, is a genteel man—well
bred, refined. Such a one will no more swear,
than go into the street with a clod hopper.
5. It is indecent; olfiensive to delicacy, and
extremely unfit for human ears.
6. It foolish. "Want of decency is want of
sense."—Pope.
7. It is abusive. To the mind which con•
ceives the oath, to the tongue which utters it,
and to the person to whom it is aimed.
8. It is venomous; showing a man's heart
to be the nest of vipers, and every time he
swears one of them sticks out of his head.
9. It is contemptible; forfeiting the respect
of dl the wise end good.
10. It is wicked; violating the divine law,
and provoking the displeasure of Him who
will not hold hint guiltless who takes his name
Keep it Before the People!
Something for Americans to think of—
The Government offices at Washington, are
occupied by five hundred and ten Americans,
and nine huitered and fourteen foreigners
Of our Ministers and Consuls, officers of the
Coast Survey, U. S. Mint, Lighthouse inspectors
and keepers ; offices of Revenue and Marine
service, there are two hundred and thirteen
Americans, and eight hundred and thirty-seven
foreigners I Total Americans, nine hundred
and eighty-two. Total Foreigners three thou
sand three hundred and eleven I Balance
against Americans, two thousand three hun
dred and twenty-nine!
If Americans wish to know the 'machinery'
that was brought to bear upon the last Prosi
dentin' election, they will find it in the forego
ing,which is the legitimate result of the Roman
Catholic vote given to President Pierce at that
time. That was a deep game, and it will be
a very long time before another will be played
like it.—E.rchange.
Vir A Yankee editor out west, says :—"The
march of civilization is onward—onward—like
the slow but intrepid tread of a jackass to a
pea of oats."
VOL. 19. NO. 48.
Pat's Return from the Polls.
A dialogue between Patrick and Bridget, on
the return of the former from the election on
Tuesday, the lath of Oct. A. D, 1854.
Bridget.—Come, Patrick me honey, what
makes you look sad,
Ye always came home from the election so
glad ?
Patrick.—Ah Bridget, me darliat t bow oast
I look gay,
When the bloody "now Nothings" IWO
. . .
carried the day ?
They have taken the country from Airland
away,
And Bigler and Democracy no lunger hold
sway.
Bridget.—Oh I dicer up, me Pat, what you
say can't be true,
But what makes your fact look all over 114
Blue?
From your head to your faite you're covered
with blood,
And your shirt looks as if ye'd been rovr.'l
in the mud ?
Patrick.—Ah I be Jabere I me darlint, the
tale is too true,
And I'll tell you what makesmy face all over
so blue,
But hurry me Bridget, and get me some
mate,
Some whiskey to drink, and some pratius to
ate,
And I'll try to relate while I'm drinkin' and
Min'
How the Native Americans gave u a bathe.
We marched to the pow]a wid shillalies in
hand,
To drive from their birthright the sous of the
land;
But soon we found out we'd made a mistake.
For the Natives, be Jabers 1 were all wide
awake;
They were drawn up in lines, all ready to
mate us,
An I could't help thinkin' as how we ware
fools,
To be flghtiu' for Bigler, an' lavin our mules;
Then we thought we saw "Bowie," and we
turu'd round to fly,
For sure it was better to run than to die;
So we drapt our shillulies, au took hasty lava;
We jumped through the whales our bacon to
save,
An, as we went out, we danc'd new Irish reels.
For the Natives, be Jabers ! pitched us head
over heels.
An' I never was sure that we wasn't all dead,
Till I lifted me hand ~and Mt round for me
head,
By the holy Saint Patrick! on next gentian
day,
Instead of the powls, I will stick to my dray,
For me mules I can drive, an' bate as I place,
But the bloody sown] Natives, shillalies can't
fuze
An Ingenious Device.
A sea captain torn voyage, with thirty pos.
seugers, being overtahed by a violent tempest,
found it necessary to throw half of them
overboard, in order to lighten the vessel.
Fifteen of the passengers were Christians, and
the other fifteen were Unbelievers; but in this
exigency, they unanimously agree to the cap
tain's proposition, that he should place the
whole thirty in a circle, and throw every ninth
man over, till only fifteen were left. To save
the Christians, the captain placed his thirty
passengers in this order viz : four Christians,
five Unbelievers; two Christians, one Unbeliev
er; one Christian, two Unbelievers; two Chris.
Liens ; three rnbelivers ; one Christians, two
Unbelievers; two Christians, one Unbeliever.
He began to number from the first of the four
Christians, thee:
CCCC, tqaTUU, cc, U, ccc, U, C, UU,
CC, IJUU, C, CC, U.
Extracts.
Difficulties are whetstones to sharpen our
fortitude.
Poverty wants some, luxury many, and ava
rice all things.
A man is in the sight of God what his ha
bitual and cherished wishes are.
To compliment vice, is but one remove from
worshipping the deviL
Moderation is the silicon string running from
the pearl chain of all virtues.
lie who labors for mankind, without a
thought fur himself, has begun his immortal!.
ty
As the lovely cedar is green throughout the
barrenness winter, so shall the Christian alone
flourish amid the winter of death,and bloom in
immortality.
ser A young clerical gentleman relates the
following anecdote of one of his Dutch broth.
ern. The Old fellow was about commencing
his spiritual exercises one evening, when to
his being a littlojnear sighted was added the
dims light of a country church. After clearing
his throat and giving out the hymn, prefacing
it with the apology—
The light ish bad, mine eyes ish dint,
I scarce can see to read dish hymn.
The clerk supposing it was the first stems
of the hymn, struck up to the tune of common
moire.
The old fellow taken somewhat aback by
this turn of affairs, corrected the mistake by
saying:
I didn't mean to sing dish hymn,
I only meant mine eyes ish dim.
The clerk still thinking it a combination of
the couplet, finished in the preceding strain.
The old man at this, waxed wroth, and aT,
claimed at the top of his voice:
I dink the debit's in you. all,
Dat rash uo hymn to sing at all
ift.'l Lave not loved 'lightly' se the man
when he married a widow weighing three
hundred pounds.
ca d (TL i kerty,,,,An old a&.di
ni;,ht•cßr•
JAKET,