Huntingdon journal. (Huntingdon, Pa.) 1843-1859, August 02, 1854, Image 1

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BY WM. BREWSTER,
TERMS :
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THE HOME OF MY CHILDHOOD.
BY ELLA.
The home of my childhood, my own happy home,
I love it, I love it, wherever I roam ;
Though far, far away, o'er land er o'er sea,
'There is no other place that is so dear me.
'There stands the old house where in childhood
I've played,
The forest where oft with my brothers I've
strayed ;
And there is the orchard, that beautiful place,
Old Time from my memory will never efface.
There wave the green trees in the depth of whose
shade.
In the spring-time of life with my sisters I've
played,
And there is the garden with its flowers so fair,
And oft in my dreams I think I am there.
We nre all scattered now, one here and one there,
Not two of us together to offer a prayer;
lint I look to the future for rest and for cheer,
For hope's not departed and memory's dear.
One only desire still lives in my heart—
To see the old homestead before I depart
To meet my dear brother and sisters all there,
To roam through the garden with its flowers so
fair.
Correspondence.
HUNTINGDON, July 17,.1854,
Ma. BAKER,
Dear Sir:—The undersigned, in
behalf of the Huntingdon County Teachers' In
stitute, respectfully solicit, for publication, a copy
of the Address delivered by you at the late meet
ing of the Teachers' Institute in Cassville, on the
28th ultimo.
R. Al'Hivirr,
J. S. BARR,
11. W. MJLLER,
Wu. P. OBBISON.
BIRMINGHAM, July 22, 1854,
Gentlemen:—The Address, with all its imper
fections, I send you, and if deemed worthy of
public perusal, submit it to your disposal.
Yours, &c.,
'D. BAKER.
To H. W. Miller, R. McDivitt, J. S. Barr, and
Wm. P. Orbison.
ADDRESS,
ON TILE SUBJECT OF
Should the Teacher be qualified, and
what should be his qualifications ?
Delivered &Are the Huntingdon County Teach
ers' Institute, at its latetneeting in Camille,
on the 28th June, 1854,
D. BAKER, ESQ.
Ladies and Gentlemen, and Members of the
Institute:—ln whatever employment or pro
fession a man engages, ho almost invariably
finds that some prerequisites are necessary to
ensure success. That is, he must be previous
ly qualified to enter upon the duties of that pro
fession, or if it be not a profession, he must
have at least some knowledge of the business
in which lie proposes to engage, or success will
not attend him. Let a man engage in almost
any business, without any knowledge of that
business, and nine cases out of ten, he will fail
to accomplish what he expected. Let him for
instance, go into engineering, contracting, or
speculating altogether ignorant of these things,
and what will generally be the result of his un
derstanding? Observation and experience have
no doubt, long since satisfied some of us that
such a course would be improper.
You never heard of a lower becoming emi
ment in his profession withoutunderstandingthe
laws and constitution of our land; nor did you
.ever hear of a physician becoming celebrated
Sor his skill and success, without fully under
standing the structure and constitution of man,
and being well acquainted with the properties
of the various drugs and medicines he admin
isters. Neither can a minister be successful in
his Heavenly calling, without beingacquainted
with the Word xi God, and being in possession
of that vital principle of Godliness which dis
tinguishes the man of God from the man of the
world. Now if.these be true, can it be suppo
sed and should the idea be entertained that al
most any man is competent to mould the char
acter of the rising generation? If the lawyer,
the doctor, the preacher must be qualified to
discharge the duties of their profession before
they can be successful; if the farmer must un
derstand farming before he can raise good
crops; if the mechanic must be a workman be
fore he can get custom; if the ploughman. the
grubber, the drayman and the servant must all
understand their business before they can get
employment—should not the Teacher, we ask
of whom it may lie said, holds the destiny of
this nation in his hand be qualified todiseharge
the duties of the Teacher? Should he not too
as n ell us all other.: under: Awl his business?
I SEE NO STAR ABOVE THE HORIZON, PROMISING LIGHT TO GUIDE US, BUT THE INTELLIGENT, PATRIOTIC, UNITED WHIG PARTY OP TILE UNITED STATES."
The idea prevails to too great an extent that
almost any man will make an instructor of
rot% ; but the idea is wrong, and so long as it
continues to be entertained, so long will our
schools continue to stand as they now stand, in
a condition not too favorable. This idea must
be talked and written out of the people ; then
our public schools will begin to rise in efficien
cy and repsectability, and soon attain a position
not inferior to our highest institutions of learn
ing.
To be a teacher of youth in our land is an in
portant profession, if we may be allowed to call
teaching a profession. It ranks tantamount to
that of any other calling in life. It may be
said with truth, that it Is tho Teacher that
forms the intellectual, moral and political char
acter of our nation; for without general intelli
gence a free government cannot exist, and as
you find the intelligence of a country, so you
find the moral condition of that country. How
important then that the teacher possess the
qualifications necessary thr that station. If a
man have not the acquirements, and no dispo
sition to qalify himself he should not presume
to take upon himself a responsibility so great
as that which devolves upon the teacher, and if
he would, ho should not be permitted by those
in whose hands is placed the authority to regu
late and control the schools.
Hitherto many have been permitted to ent
er the business who have been unqualified in
almost every respect, and have contributed
more to degrade the profession and retard the
progress of those under their charge, than to
elevate the schools and advance the pupils.
To use a plain but true and common expres
sion, "they have done more harm than good I"
It is not so of any other profession that almost
any man can enter, whether he is qualified or
not. Why is it then that the profession of teach
ing has been thus permitted to suffer ? Why,
doubtless, because the people and the law-ma
kers had not considered the matter in its prop
er light. But we are happy to say that thro'
the untiring and energetic exertions of some
noble educationists, a law has been passed, ma
king provisions for the election of a county
superintendent, which . will no doubt remove to
a great extent, many of the hindrances to effi
ciency that hitherto existed ; bring into the
field better material, and make the business of
teaching as profitable, respectable, and honor-
able as that of any other profession.
We hope at least, that the creation of' this
new office will have this effect, and that it will
so improve the condition of our shcools in a
few years, that an intelligent objector can not
be found in the State. But the creation of the
new office alone will not do the work--upon the
Teacher, in a great measure still, will depend
the elevation of our schools. In as much,then.
as on him mainly depends the intelligence of
our country—should ho not be eminently qual
ified in.every particular? We know of no bu
siness, no profession for the proper discharge
of which so many different qualifications are
required; and such qualifications, too, that are
rarely to be found.
Let us now for a short time consider whathis
qualifications should be. There are certain re
quisites indispensible, but the one to which we
first refer does not render him unfit, but which,
if he enjoyed, would be a blessing to himself
and his countrymen. It is this—he should be
a man of a good, sound constitution—he should
be a healthy man. How many do we find by
long continuance in the business decline in
health. Itis true there are many who havene
ver experienced any bad results in this respect,
but have not many noble spirits fallen after
having rendered incalculable service to those
around them ; spirits of whom it may be said,
have suffered martyrdom for the cause; and are
there not others who have already felt the sting
of disease bro't upon themselves by a devoted
ness to the nrdous duties they felt were enjoin
ed upon them. Happy is the man who has
good health, who has a constitution that will
carry him through all the perplexities and dif
ficulties of the faithful teacher's life.
Not only should the teacher be such a man
as we have intimated; but he should understand
the laws of health—he should have some knowl
edge of the Physiology and Hygiene of the hu
man system, even though ho should not he re
quired to teach that branch. He should pay
particular attention to the health of the pupil,
and this be cannot do unless he has some
knowledge of the branch refered to. He should
feel that the health of the child as well as the
mind is in his hands—for by preserving the
health, he improves the mind ; and injuring the
former he blunts and stifles the latter. A
strong mind indicates a healthy body ; but a
healthy body does not indicate a strong mind.
There are exceptions to this, it is true, but in
youth when the seeds of disease are sown in a
system; that mind seldom towers to that height
it might have attained, had not thesystem been
disorganized at the very time the mind was
most susceptible of improvement. How im
portant thee that he know something aboutthe
human system ; know what is promotive of
health and what is not. What an erroneous
idea that the intellectual culture of the mind is
all with which the teacher has any thing to do
As an education without health is not of mnch
benefit to any man—hence the reasonableness
of the conclusion that the health of the pupil
as well as the mind is in the bands of the
Teacher, and from this we also draw the con
clusion that a knowledge of the laws of health
should be regarded as a qualification of the
Teacher, But besides these there are other
qualifications necessary. He should be thor
oughly acquainted with all the branches he pro.
poses to teach but we would not preclude a
man from the profession of teaching, thoughlie
should not be so thoroughly acquainted as he
should be with the branches to be taught ; for
some of our best teachers have commenced
with limited qualifications, and by continued
hard study and application, have raised to em
inence and distinction in the profession. Him
does not then thoroughly understand all the
branches to be taught, he most be energetic,
induLtrious, inquiring, and of the west untiring
HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 2, 1854
perseverance. Tea, it is decidedly important
that he be an industrious man, for no other
than such a man should ever be permitted to
enter the walls of a school-room. It is not the
place for a lazy man ; and here it may not be
out of place to remark, that we know of no bu
siness in which a man has such a fine opportu
nity to practice his indolence; and evade doing
his duty as in teaching. It is true lie can be
detected, hut generally when it is too late,
when, perhaps, his school has closed.
He must be a man of integrity as well as a
man of industry and attainments. It is dishon
est to receive compensation for that which a
man does not. The teacher then, that knows
his duty .d knows how to perform that duty,
and does it not, should forever bo rejected by
an intelligent public.
The art and practice of teaching should be
well understood. What a wrong notion that if
a man is a good scholar he will make a good
teacher. There are men of fine talents and
great acquirements that are wholly unqualified
in almost every other respect. Ho must know
how to impart information as well as have in
formation. To understand a subject is one
thing, but to make another understand that
subject-is another thing. A teacher must then,
to be successful, have devoted time and atten
tion to the different modes of teaching—as the
progress of his school depends in a great men
sure on his skill and tact in conducting classes.
He should fully understand how to test his
pupils whether they are actually advancing or
not. He should be ready in comparisons—apt
in explaining and illustrating difficult points
presented in the recitations, and not slow in
propounding such questions as will call forth,
and search out the powers of the mind.
The mere asking of the questions in our text
books, without illustrations and explanations
is just no teaching at all, and how many do we
find pursuing this very course. Not to speak
disparagingly how often do we find this practi
ced in schools of reputed high standing.
It is impossible for a man to be a good teach
er and not know something about the art of
teaching. I care not what his qualifications
may be. Our most scientific and literary men,
without this knowledge would make very poor
teachers. Not only should a man have some
knowledge of this art before he enters upon
the duties of the teacher, but he should be con
stantly informing himself on this subject. Ho
should be willing to learn and instruct. He
should not be so selfish and wise in his own
eyes as not to advise, and be unwilling to re
ceive advice. Whenever you find a man that
thinks he knows enough and cannot learn any
thing by going to a Teachers' Institute you
may safely conclude be does not know touch
about teaching. There is no teacher but can
learn something from others, I care not how
good he may call, or think himself to be. And
if he is unwilling to learn, and will not put
himself to a little inconvenience and expense
to seek information on this subject, he mane
regarded as lacking a very important quslifica
tion. The teacher who attends these Institutes
possesses a zeal and devotedness for the cause
of education, which no good Teacher can be
without—and by it he manifests a disposition
to learn, which should recommend him to all
intelligent men; and which I know will recom
mend him to our County Superintendent.—
There is no man, I care not who he is, I care
not how talented he may be; that can think of
every method of teaching, and that some meth
ods are better than others, cannot be doubted;
now how are these best modes to be found out?
Can one man think of them all? That man
never has lived, and never will live, who can
think of all the best plans to instruct in the va
rious branches taught—hence the decided ad
vantage of attending these Institutes where
can be heard the views, experience and meth
ods of a whole body of men.
Allow me next to remark that ho should be
a man of order, regularity, and cleanliness.—
There should be order in every thing ho does,
both in school and out of school; whenever you
find a man wanting in this, you will generally
find his school wanting too.
Let him be a man of regularity in all things,
and you will generally find his school regular
in attendance, at least you will find those
whose daily attendance is regular, always at
their places in the morning—not ten, fifteen or
twenty misses too late, as is too often the case.
Would it be saying too much, to say that he
should be a man of taste and cleanliness? We
hopenot. How would it look to go intoa school
room, and find the floor all covered with dirt,
papers, and sticks—see coal scattered and
tramped over the floor five or six feet from the
stove—the windows and desks all dusty—cob
webs with dead flies, hanging in every corner
of the room—the teacher's hair all bushy—his
hands dirty—his clothes covered with dirt and
grease—and perhaps tobacco juice running out
of both sides of his mouth, down over his once
white linnen breast with perhaps at his side a
space of one or two square feet, on the floor,
covered with tobacco spit. How, weask, would
this look, to say nothing of the example and
the bad effects it would have? We do not
mean to any that there are many such schools,
but do not some approach such a condition ?
A school-room in such a state is far from being
condusive to health, besides rendering it un
pleasant and uninviting.
School government should be understood,—
The importance of good order and the impor
tance of knowing how to keep such order can
not, and I believe, has never been questioned.
Should a man lie eminently qualified in every
other respect and not in this, he lacks a quali
fication that would almost dictate that he seek
employment elsewhere than in a school-room.
A school can never make that improvement in
which there is confusion and contention, as
that one in which harmony and order prevail.
Some schools have become so disorderly, while
under the charge of some men, that they put in
nearlx all their time scolding and flogging, and
still cannot keep their schools in subjection.—
But why is it that there are some mat who can
take a tchool pmnouticed ungovernable, and
in a few days command good order and ready
obedience without half the severity practiced
by his predecessor? It is because he under
stands school discipline, and in order to under
stand this, he must first understand and know
how to govern himself. He must he able to
control his natural disposition. If he is an ex
citable being he must labor to subdue this pas
sion. It is true there are many things in the
school-room to perplex and weary the mind;
enough to excite the ire of almost any man,
but this must ho guarded against, this he dare
not permit. If a man suffer himself to become
excited while inflicting punishment, he may
excite in the child a spirit of resentment and
animosity which it may carry with it through
life. A man must be able to govern himself in
this particular, or ho can never govern oth
ers successfully. He should be mild, amiable,
kind, accommodating and sociable. He should
seldom speak harshly and never act hastily.—
But firm, resolute and decided must be that
man who would have order in his school.—
What he says, must be done, and when he
speaks he must be heard. He must also be a
man of discrimination and sotto& judgement,as
to how, when, and for what a child should be
punished. The disposition and temperament
of scholars should be well understood. The
sensitiveness of some forbids the use of the rod,
and even sharpness of reproof, while with oth
ers it is totally different. This difference the
teacher should be able to distinguish; and still
be just and impartial; in short, he must under
stand the mysteries of successful government,
or soon his ears will be greeted, and justly too,
with the cry of dissatisfaction and complaint.
But the last and moat important qualification
is yet to be refered to. Who does not know
what it is? who does not know what the teach
er, above all things, should be? It is of so
much moment, that it would be vain for on to
attempt to show fully the extant of its import
ance. But its great importance the more de
mands our attention. - Let us hear it. Itis this:
He should be a man of good moral citarnter—
a man of virtue and undoubted veracity—•un
wavering in his support of everything that is
good, and fearless in his denunciations of evo
rything that is wrong. We do not mean to say
that he should be a pions man—this would be
better—but his character as a man should be
beyond reproach. He has nothing to do in the
public schools with the tenets of any particular
church; these he must not teach ; but the lead
ing doctrines of the Bible, he must understand;
the great principles of morality, equity anti jus
tice he must inculcate by precept and example.
So powerful are the precepts and examples of
the Teacher, that Eternity will tell that such
should have been his character. It may be
said of him, that be holds in his hands thefuture
destiny of his charge. The good impressions
and principles they receive from him, they will
carry with them to the grave, and the un
righteous principles implanted in thesonl by the
immoral teacher may never be rooted out.
The well-being of our children in this world
and that which is to come, should not he tri.
fled with. The highest intellectual attainments
of which the human mind is capable, bears no
comparison to the importance of this matter—
and as the teacher can exert an influence that
no other man can, Oh 1 should he not be a
man of unimpeachable character.
What a mistaken idea, that the Teacher and
the State have nothing to do with the moral
training of the youth of our land. We give it
as our opinion that they are bound by every
moral obligation, by every law of humanity, to
disseminate those virtuous principles calcula.
ted to make men useful here and happy here.
after. The mission of the Teacher,we believe to
be of such magnitude, that its importqnce can
not be overrated. In a comprehensive sense it
may be said to he governs and fixes the desti
ny of the World. Of no other profession can
this be said. 0, if the Teacher, then fully un
derstood and felt his responsibilities, happy
would be the results that would flow from his
labors. Intelligence would be more general,
virtuous principles would be more widely dis
seminated, and the principles of free govern
ment would be better understood.
Inasmuch then, as the intelligence, virtue,
and the perpetuity of liberties depend upon the
Teacher. We would conclude by propounding
the interrogations: Should not the Teacher be
qualified? and should not his qualifications be
far superior to what we have attempted to set
forth they should be ? and especially, we ask,
should he not endeavor to instil into the youth•
ful mind, those principles which tend to happi•
nese hero and eternal felicity in the life to come?
The Mother.
It has been truly said: "The first being that
rushes to the recollection of a soldier or a sail
or, in his heart's difficulty, is his mother. She
clings to his memory and affection, in the midst
of all the forgetfulness and hardihood induced
by a roving life. The last message he leaves
18 for her, his last whisper breathes her name.
The mother, no she instils the lesson of piety
and filial obligation into the heart of her infant
son, should feel that her labor is not in vain.—
She may drop into the grave. But she has
left behind her influence that will work for her.
The bow is broken, but the arrow is sped and
will do its office."
A professional gentleman °four acquain
tance has hanging in his room a fine large col
ored engraving of the head of a quadruped vul.
garly known as a jack-ass. Not long since a
friend of his dropped in, and stepping before
the picture gazed intently upon it for a few mo
ments, and then sang out abruptly, and, as he
imagined, very wittily:
"Hallo, Doctor, is that your portrait?"
"Oh, no;" replied the doctor, coolly, "that is
simply a looking-glass."
The "anxious inquirer" suddenly discovered
that be had some business down street, and dc•
parted.
116 , Nothing is troublesome that we do ril
Jingly,
For the Journal.
Influence of the Moon on Arlonltural
and Mechanical Operations.
An impression exists, among the practical
Farmers and Mechanics of this country, that
the Earth's Satelite exercises a potent influence
upon many operations, connected with agricul•
tural and mechanical industry.
The scientific and learned, treat all notions
of this character wills ridicule and contempt,
they contemplate them as remains of former
barbarism and superstition, and consider them
to be totally unworthy of serious refutation.—
Nevertheless, many persons of good common
sense, and not a few of superior intelligence, to
watch the "changes of the moon," and regulate
their proceedings by lunar positions and pha•
ses. They contend that experience justifies
them in this course. They have often witness•
ed disastrous results following the neglect of
certain precautions in this particular, and as
sert confidently that "it is so," whatever may
be the opinion of the learned; and that facts
are of more value than theorems.
Plowing-in manure, sowing clover-seed, dri
ving shingles, and building fence, may servo
as examples of the class of operations supposed
to be amenable to lunar influence.
The moon has, from time immemorial, held
a prominent position in the mythology of bar ,
barons, and half-civilized nations.
In the earlier ages of the world, when little
science existed, and much ignorance prevailed,
the sun, the moon, and the starry galaxy of
heaven, were among the most striking objects
which arrested the human attention; the mys
terious nature of their movements, and their
inexplicable character of the many phases they
presented naturally, existed the wonder and
admiration of our remote ancestors; reverence
and worship followed, for unknown and myste
rious are the unvarying objects of all adoration.
A principle which may be traced in all forms
of religion, in whatever object it may be cen•
tred; from the solar luminary, before which the
Persian prostrated himself, to the unknown
God to whom the men of Athens dedicated
their Temple. By degrees, as civilization pro
, gressed, and the light of Divine truth was shed
ahmad, philosophy corroborating revelation,
the last vestiges of polytheism were eradicated
from the mind of civilized man. The mysteries
of the p3aneta were explored by the light of
reason, and the awe and reverence they were
wont to excite, were transfered to the Great
First Cause, who created all things.
But no small portion of the "old leaven" still
remained. During the dark ages letters were
conserved, and the remains of ancient literature
rescued from obliv;on by the unwearied labors
of a body of men, eNtraordinary and memora•
ble, both in character aad achievements, I al•
Jude to the Monks of the .Franciscan and Ben
edictine orders. Disgusted with the licentious
ness, and irregularities of the clergy, and poss
essed of a self denial, and an enthusiasm in the
cause of science and of letters, altogether un
exampled in the annals of man; they withdrew
from the world, and buried themselves in the
dark recesses of the cloister, they expended
their time, and wasted the midnight-toil in the
laborious transcribing of classical manuscripts,
in the experiments of the laboratory, and in
astronomical observations; they handed down
to us almost all that we possess of classical lit.
erature, they left on record the ecclesiastical
and profane history of their own times, and
laid the foundation of chemical, medical, opti
cal, and astronomical science..
Roger Bacon, who first discovered the com
position of gunpowder, invented burning glass
es, and wrote the first English grammar, was a
Monk of the order of St. Francis. But their
discoveries were mingled with error and super
stition. They retained a profane belief in lunar
and planetary influences. The moon presided
at the crucible and the retort, she dazzled the
chemist and mystified the explorer in medical
science; she held in bondage the supremest in•
tellects of our race, and dimmed the lustre of
their undying names. She has left her mystic
impression upon our language, and even among
the rigid technicalities of the law. The word
"lunacy" still holds its place, despite its well
known erroneous origin.
The idea of the moon's influence upon the
sexual peculiarities of women, is still prevalent
among nearly all classes; although medical
men are well convinced of its absurdity. In
fact, no class of triperstition appears to have
taken such firm hold of the minds of men, as
these fanciful and multitudinous notions, per
taining to the Queen of night. And notwith
standing they have at length been banished
from the investigations of the scientific; they
still retain an umpire among the unlettered,
who, although unable to predicate the return
of comets and eclipses, or even to calculate the
tides, were well competent to determine when
the horns of the moon pointed up or down, and
when she "waxed or waned." They observed
and accumulated coincidences, generalized up
on them; established theorems in their own
minds, handed them down to successive gener
ations, and thus perpetrated errors in all its
crudity. The astronomical quackery of Alma
nacs has contributed greatly to the permanence
of the delusion.
There arc two chief methods of scientific in
quiry—the first and most simple is, experimen
tal; and has its origin in our almost intuitive
conviction or the consentaneousness of events.
If uniform results follow certain conjunctions
of material objects, or moral causes throughout
a series of experiments, we firmly believe that
the sequence will be invariable; provided the
circumstances are identical in every particular.
This confidence in the consentaneousness of
events is at the root dell our knowledge. But
it is sufficiently apparent, that the gravest er
rors may, and do, often result, Irons the expe
rimental mode of ivestigation, premature gen
eralisation is of continual occurrence; casual
coincidences are mistaken for establuhcd rola-
*Vide Godwin's lives of the necromancers. and
Du Fre3noy's llistory of the Hermetic
phy.
-.IWEBSTER.
lions; instances favorable to our pet theories
are accumulated; and examples of a contrary
chnructer are unnoticed, passed over, or inge•
niously explained away—thus spurious science
insinuates itself into the grand category of gen
uine knowledge. In this way the hermetic art,
chiromancy, astrology and the moon—madness
now under consideration—which is the true lu
nacy--have been imposed both upon learned
and unlettered.
In modern times we have Phrenology, Mes
merism, and a host of kindred quackeries, all
originating in the same lamentable empiricism.
The second method of scientific inquiry, is
purely, and rigidly inductive, and is peculiarly
adapted to investigation; the result of which
cannot, at every step, be submitted to the test
of experiment. In pursuing this system, one
or more self-evident propositions, form the ba
sis of a series of deductions; and if each infe
rence is in perfect agreement with its preceding
corollaries, the whole chain of induction is cor
rect. This method "is in the highest style of
man," and is employed in mathematics, and
the exact sciences; it demonstrates the absurdi
ty of all hypotheses contrary to the result arri
ved at—but its application to speculative phil
osophy is, perhaps, beyond the range of our
limited faculties; for, if the smallest link in the
chain of reasoning is defective, all posterior
deductions are vitiated. Science, however, to
be of a high and and satisfactory character,
should be founded upon sound deductions from
facts; not isolated, but well supported by cor
roborative evidence; and in propounding a the
theory it is not sufficient to say that it is so, or
that the theory will explain certain phenomena,
or that certain facts are in agreement with it;
but we must be able to explain something of
the models operandi, to show "how it is, as it
is, and to prove that it cannot be otherwise,"
but in accordance with the theory.
The supporters of the "moony" hypothesis
make no attempt to elaborate their views after
this fashion; they say shingles were driven
when the moon pointed up, and in time they
warped, the nails came out, and the winds of
heaven blew those shingles from the roof, and
scattered them abroad. Other shingles were
driven when the moon pointed down, and they
stood firm through wind and rain for many
years; and, therefore. "most lame and impotent
conclusion." If you want shingles to remain
firmly fixed, drive them when the moon points
down. They make no attempt to show how
the moon operates upon shingle-driving, or to
prove the absence of all other causes capable
of producing the result exhibited. This will
serve as an illustration of the whole catalogue
of conjectures concerning the influence of the
moon in matters of this character.
It may be said that the idea was not worth
the labor of refutation, but the fact is, that
much time is wasted in waiting for favorable
auguries, work is delayed, and procrastinated,
and it is highly necessary that some attempt
should be made to explode a belief so prevalent
and fallacious. The system has several minor
ramifications in which the signs of the zodiac
occupy a leading position, but these are all too
well known to require enumeration. J. N.
Scottsville, Pa., July, 1854.
Bonnets.
We are a great student of bonnets. Circum
stances have led us to observe them. In fact,
we hire our rooms of a fashionable milliner.—
This gives us a great advantage.
We divide the human race into two classes,
viz: those who wear bonnets, •nd those who
don't. The bonnet-wearers are our weakness.
The wearing of bonnets is the great fact of
their lives. We like them the better for it. It
shows they have heads. A woman without a
bonnet is like a cat without a tail she don't
know what to do with herself. When a ship
wishes to go ahead, she puts a bonnet on her
jib. A woman does the same. The bonnet is
the capsheaf of her glory; moreover it covers a
multitude of sins. To judge of female charac
ter, Fowler feels a woman's head; he's an ani
mal. We look at her bonnet; we are a philos
opher.
There's always a whole row of bonnets in
Mrs. F.'s show-room. They arc mounted on
sticks. The room looks as if it had been plant
ed with bean-poles, and each pole had blossom
od into a bonnet. Some of the poles, though,
look like Broadway belles, "in undress." There
are all sorts of bonnets, from the modest straw
trimmed with white, to the rich satin, surpas
sing the rainbow—the bonnet of the sky. There
are all shapes, too from the jaunty chaise top,
thrown back to show the whole features, to the
projecting coal-hod, exhibiting the face through
a long perspective. There arc the Touch-me
not, the Kiss-me-if-you-dare, the Kiss-me-if-you
can, the Kiss-me-if-you-please, ete., etc.
It is our favorite speculation, as we gaze in
to these empty bonnets, to imagine who is to
occupy them. So when we see a fine lady de
scend from her carriage, and enter the tempt
ing rooms, we take pleasure in wondering
which of the flaring bean-poles will first attract
her attention.
We have not had time, yet, to classify our
observations; but, as soon as we have done
this, we intend to publish a work on bonnetolo
gy, which we flatter ourselves will throw phre
nology completely into the shade. We shall
prove, in this work, that the bonnet is the organ
o the mind. We shall show that every female
faculty from philoprogenitiveness to philoprov
'nativeness (a faculty of our own discovery) is
represented, not by a bump, but by a bow.—
We shall show, also, in our analogical chapter,
that a woman, like a horse, is to be managed
by "the ribbons," and that the old proverb—
“straws show the way ef the triad,"—had orig
inal reference to straw bonnets. We shall also
establish a Bounctian School of High Art, and
demonstrate Chat although bonnets aye above
the heads of the people, they may be made in
telligiblc to the lowest comprehension.—X. E
Lys*,
ftir Henry Ward Beecher says, 'Dress don't
make the man, hut when the man is made, he
leolQ a rreat deal Vetter drer:ed up.'
VOL. 19. NO. 31
Precool°lui Wedlock.
Man is born to woo and business ; woman is
born to wedlock! The fate of man is probably
the more lamentable of the two, inasmuch an
he has to bear the woes of wedlock woolly with
woman, in addition to all his peculiar maven•
line woes. With woman, marriage is the corn
mencement and the chief end of life ; to get
married, and to keep married, in some way or
other, is her summum bonum. Though abs
poorness all mannuer of good gifts, though she
can speak with the tongue of angels, and can
do all manner of fine things, yet if she hare not
a husband, she is but a "spinster" in the eyeof
the law, and an old maid before men I
Such a destiny is unnatural and unnecessa
ry; we have no need, in these days, for vestals,
to pass lonely lives in jealous watching of the
sacred fires that burn on the altar of virginity;
especially when it is known that theirvigilance
often tires, and the wearied guardians turn in
cendiaries in despair 1 "For every lad there is
a lass I" says the old song; and so, let us hope
that for every lass th ere is a lad, who will make
his appearance in due season, if she will only
wait for him.
But there is the trouble I She can't wait 1—
Woman lacks faith and patience,she persuades
herself that life is short, and that the season of
her charms is shorter; and in her anxiety to se.
cure a husband at any rate, she very frequent.
ly gets the wrong man, only to discover her
mistake when the right one presents himself.
She sets her snares:for a turtle dove, and catch
es an owl, or a night-hawk; the turtle comes of
his own accord, by and by, cooing to nestle in
the bosom, on which the said bird of prey is re
posing ruthlessly. Then arises the question
whether she shall cherish the owl through a
life of repentance, or dismiss him at once, and
admit the dove. The question is simple enough
—one that common-sense would decide in an
instant. But common-sense has no jurisdic
tion in the matter; Mrs. Grundy is umpire; that
good lady is prejudiced, and consequently not
an impartial arbitrator. Beside, the question,
notwithstanding its apparent simplicity, is a
complex one, involving the rights of the owl ;
probably of young owlets incase. and of owlets
yet unborn, and Mrs. G. is notorious for her
owlish proclivities. Her decision is generally
against the fair ensnarer, who has committed
a blunder in her first venture,—one of those
blunders which, admitting of no atonement, is
worse than a crime!
All this comes of hastening to marry. Our
female boarding-schools are most of them devo
ted to the culture of the matrimonial arts, and
to their influence, in a great measure, may be
attributed the misfortune that converts an un
developed woman into an imperfect wife, and
fills our boarding-houses with pubescent moth
era and their pigmy offspring. The system is
productive of profit to lawyers, doctors, wet
nurses and undertakers; productive also of ex
pensive misery to precocious husbands ; and of
a race of republican minims, that, in the course
of a generation or two, will be too small and
feeble to enjoy any large amount of that liberty,
fin which our full-sized fathers fought and bled.
Immature marriage, like unripe fruit, "disa
grees" with the thoughtless people who indulge
in it. Young people ought to be able to give
good reasons for entering into "the house of
bondage:' It is a duty that we owe to posteri
ty—a necessity for the preservation of the in
stitutions of our country, that the matrimonial
ritual he altered; and, instead of a rash youth
obtaining possession of a silly child-wife. to
blight her natural development with his 'love,
&c., by merely promising to "cherish" and to
do other fine things that he scarcely understands,
he ought to be compelled to give a satisfactory
answer to the question: "Why should'st thou
have this woman to he thy wedded wife?"
Bees.
Many suppose that the bee culls honey from
the nectar of flowers, and simply carries it to
his cell in the hive. This is not correct. The
nectar he collects from the flower is a portion
of his food or drink; the honey ho deposits in
his cell is a secretion from his mellific or hon
ey-secreting glands (analogous to the milk SP
croting glands of the cow and other animals.)
If bees were the mere collectors and transport.
ers of honey from flowers to the honeycomb,
then we should have the comb filled with mo
lasses whenever the bees fed at a molasses
hogshead. The honey-bag in the bee performs
the same functions as the cow's bag or udder;
merely receives the honey from the secreting
glands, and retains it until a proper opportuni
ty arrives for its being deposited in its appro.
priate storehouse, the honey-comb.
Another error is, that the bee collects pollen
from the flowers while in search of honey.--
Quite the contrary is the fact. When in search
of nectar, or honey, as it is improperly called,
the bee does not collect pollen. He goes in
search of pollen specially, and also for nectar.
When the pollen of the flower is ripe, and fit
for the use of the bee, there is no nectar, when
there is nectar, there is no pollen fit for use in
the flower. It is generally supposed, also, that
the bee constructs the wax from which his
comb is made from vegetable substances. This
is likewise an error. The wax is a secretion
from his body, as the honey is; and it makes
its appearance in small scales or flakes, under
the rings of the belly, and is taken thence by
other bees, rendered plastic by mixture in the
bee's month, and laid on the walls of the cell,
with the tongue, very much in the way a plas
terer uses his trowel.
In— A newspaper may be destroyed utnight.
It may light a cigar; it may curl a lady's hair.
Oh! only think of that, girls. An editor's tho'ts
completely, sweetly, exquisitly wreathed in your
rich tresses. and—yes! nestling down with you
in your midnight slumbers, gently to guard and
peacefully keep watch over your happy dream.
lilet" Passing down street the other day, we
overheard a little boy saying to his filth,-
-Pap. there goes an editor." The reply wan --
"Don ' t make fun or those poor devils. my ,en
Gad mil 7 Ire,a; r, may bc,no• ytt:'