VOLUME XVI.
Town tots for Sale.
The subscriber has several town lots, situate
in the most pleasant part of West Huntingdon,
Ythe ground formerly used by him as a Brick Yard)
Which he will dispose of on very reasonable terms.
E. C. SUMMERS.
Huntingdon, May 15, 1851.—tf.
NOVELS AND SCHOOL BOOKS for sale at
May 22, '5l. Ed. Snare's.
SILVER SPOONS of the latest patterns can be
had at _ . _ _
E. Snare's Jewelry Store.
PORTE MONNAfES-8 or 10 different kinds;
from 25 cents to 0 dollars at
Scott's Cheap Jewelry Store.
BLY'S Superior Gold Pens, in gold and
silver patent extension bases, warranted to
give entire satisfaction, for stile at
Scott's Cheap Jbwelry Store.
LIVER COMPLAINT,
JAUNDICE, DYSPEPSIA, CHRONIC OR
NERVOUS DEBILITY, DISEASES Or
THE KIDNEYS,
AND ALL diseases arising from a disordered
Liver or Stomach, such as Constipation, Inward
Piles, Fullness or Blood to the Head, Acidity of
the Stomach, Nausea, heart-burn, Disgust for
Fed, Fullness or weight in the Stomach, Sour
Eructations, Sinking or Fluttering 'ht the pit of
the Stomach, Swimming of the Head, Hurried
and difficult breathing, Fluttering at the Heart,
Choking or Suffocating sensations when in a lying
posture, Dimness of Vision, Dots or webs before
the Sight, Fever and dull pain in the Head, Defi
ciency of perspiration, Yellowness of the Skin
and Eyes, Pain in the Side, Back, Limbs, &c.,
Sudden Flushes of Heat, Burning in the Flesh,
Constant Imaginings of Evil and Great depres
sion of Spirits, can be effectually cured by
DR. HOOFLAND'S
CELEBRATED GERMAN BITTERS,
Prepared by
DR. C. M. JACKSON,
AT THE GERMAN DIEDICINE STORE,
120 Arch Street. Philadelphia.
Their power over the above diseases is not ex
celled—if equalled—by any other preparation in
the United States, as the cures attest, in many
cases after skilful physiCians bad failed.
These Bitters aro worthy the attention of inva
lids. Possessing great virtues in the rectification
of diseases of the Liver and lesser glands, exer
cising the most searching powers in weakness and
affections of the digestive organs, they are withal,
safe, certain and pleasant.
READ AND BE CONVINCED.
From tho "Boston Bee."
Thti editor !did, Dec. 22nd
Dr. Hooltancrs . Celebrated German Bitters for
the cure of Livdt Complaint, Jaundice, Dyspepsia,
Chronic or Nervous Debility, is deservedly ono of
the most popular medicines of the day. These
Bitters have been used by thousands, and a friend
at our elbow says Ile had himself received an effec
tual and permanent cure of Liver Complaint from
the use of this remedy. We are convinced that,
iu the use of these Bitters, the patient constantly
gains strength and vigor—a fact worthy of great
consideration. They aro pleasant in tast and
smell, and can be used by persons with the most
delicate stomachs with safety, under any circum
stances. We aro speaking from experience, and
to the afflicted we advise their use.
"SCOTT'S Wasitr.v," ono of the beat Literary I ,
papers published, said Aug. 25
. 4 1)u. Hoer AND's GERMAN BITTERS, MUM
factored by Dr. Jackson, are now recommended
by some of the most prominent members of the
faculty as an article of much efficacy in cases of
female weakness. As such is the cases, we would
advise all mothers to obtain a bottle, and Slide save
themselves much sickness. Persons of debilitated
constitutions will find these Bitters advantageous
to their health, as we know from experienCe the
salutary abet they have upon weak systems."
MORE EVIDENCE
The "Philadelphia Saturday Gazette." the best
family newspaper published in the United States,
The editor says of
DR. HOOFLAND'S GERMAN BITTERS
"It is seldom that we recommend what are
termed Patent Medicines,, to the cofidence and
patronage of our readers; and therefore when we
recommend Dr. Hootland's German Bitters, we
Wish it to bo distinctly understood that we are not
speaking of the nostrums of the day, that are nois
ed about for a brief period and then forgotten after
they have done their guilty race of mischief, but of
a medicine long established, universally priced,
and which has met the hearty approval of the fac
ulty itself.
iivTdOnce upon evidence has been received (like
the foregoing) front all sections of the Union, the
last three years, and the strongest testimony in its
favor, is, that there is more of it used in the prac
tice of the regular Physicians of Philadelphia, than
all other nostrums contbined, m Chet that can easily
be esablished, and fully proving that a scientific
preparation will meet with their quiet approval
when presented oven in thiS
That this Medicine will cure Liver Complaint
and Dyspepsia, no one can doubt after using it as
directed. It acts specifically upon the stomach and
liver; it is preferable to calomel in all biliotts dis
*ases—the effect is immediate. They can be ad
ininistored to female or infant with safety and re
liable benefit at any time.
BEWARE OF COUNTERFEITS.
This . medicine has attained that high character
vhich is necesary for all medicines to attain to
induce counterfeiters to put forth spurious articles
itt the risk of the lives of those who arc innocently
deceived.
Look well to the marks of the genuine
The* have the written signature of C. M.
JACItSON Upon the wrapper, and his name blown
In the bottle, uulhola Odd, they are spurious.
For sale Wholesale and Rotate at the.
GERMAN MEDICINE STORE,
No. 120 Arch street, one door below Sixth,
Philadelphia; and by respectable stealers generally
through the country.
PRICES REDUCED.
To enable all classes of invalids to enjoy the ad•
vantages of their great restorative powers:
Single Bottla 75 crate.
Also for solo by Thomas Rood & Son, Hunt
ingdon, Ps. ; John Lutz, Shimmusburg, Pa.;
Thomas E. Orbison, Orbisonia, Pa.; J. & J.
Kelly, Burnt Cabins, Pa. [July 8, 831.-ly.
.•-•
1 / 4 4 ,
(
$-* •
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4. \ 11,1,
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A/c,/
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Written for the "Journal."
THE JUNIATA. Of'
DT OSCEOLA
They may tell= of Europe, of her Rhine's cas
tled crags,
Of the dark rolling Danube's stained shore;
May point to the Hudson, rolling on in his pride,
While the Catskills re-echo his roar.
But give me the river that so gently flows on,
From amid the Alleghenies' blue peaks,
And rolls in its grandeur through my wild moun
tain home,
While echo its murmur repeats.
On its silvery bosom a bright islet rests,
Like a spirit of the waters in slumber,
And along its green margin sweet birds build
their nests,
And tall forest-trees grow without number.
The riplet's low sound, like a Peri's sweet song,
When it breaks on the stillness of even,
Reminds me of music by friends long since gone
To tune their bright harp-strings in leaven.
Yes, "blue Juniata," on thy banks shall o'er be
Tho home whore I'll love best to dwell,
And at length when thy billows no longer I see,
I will bid thee a long, sad farewell.
--------
THE FARMER'S BOY.
By rnANcis It. bABE,
Oh, a jovial flumes boy I'll lie,
As fresh as the birds that sing,
And carol my memory song of glee
Among the flowers of spring.
With a whoop woa boy," to drive my team,
Before the rising sun,
To slake their thirst in a silvery stream
Shall be my morning's fun,—
To see the hungry porker red,
And hear him grunt his thanks ;
To rouse the calves from their grassy bed,
To shake their drowsy flanks;
To draw from the generous cow her store,
With young hands strong and free,
Till the brimming pail is running o'er,
With the feasting luxury;
To haste to the garden with hoe and seed
While the dew is on the spray,
To plant, to trim, to hoe and weed
The morning hours away,
To raise the flowers for the honey bee,
Mich their petals bright and fil'r ;
Oh, I love the budding flowers to see,
In my garden hero and there;—
Or away to the field with the reapers hie,
And toil the livelong clay,
And think of the happy time when I
Shall be a man as they,
To plow, to harrow, to plant, to sow
The rich and fertile lands;
To reap and hind, to pitch and mow,
With strong and willing hands,
Oh, I would not live in the crowded town,
With its pavements hard and gray
With its lengthened streets of dusty browti
And its painted houses gay—
Whore evoty toy his ball may bound
Upon his neighbor's dome,
And every shoot and every sound
Disturb some other's home.
The squirrel that leaps from limb to limb,-
In the forest waving high,
Or the lark that soars with his matin hymn,
Is not more free than I.
Then give me the trade of a farmer boy,
From city trammels free,
And I'll crack my whip and cry " Woe hoy !"
Oh, a farmer boy I'll be !
ILLINOIS SUCKERS.
The Stanstead (Canada East) Journal
thus describes an Ilinois Sucker-
- -
" One general characteristic of the ani
mal is" that he is always anticipating that
somebody will " feel big" which ho consid
er; it his duty to resent before it happens.
The way the young Sucker volunteers
fought in Mexico may give him some idea
of his characteristics. He was there per
fectly desperate in a fight, which occurod
at Buena Vista, when the whole brunt .of
the Mexican advance was borne by an Illi
nois Regiment. It seemed as though they
would be annihilated by superiority of
numbers, and there was some signs of wa
vering, when a young Sucker drew his rifle
deliberately, and dropped a Mexican.—
" Sot up the pins !" ho shouted and the
whole regiment took up the word, and at
every fire would shout—" set up them
pins !"
The officers said 04 fought like de
mons and with as much drolory and fun as
if on a spree. At another tune when a
charge was ordered, one of the officers'
could not think of the word, and ho shout
ed, ",iLet 'er rip ?" when the whole line
burst out with the yell, "Let 'er rip," and
dashed in among the Mexicans, laughing
and shouting the new battle cry.
Bark Bound Trees.
The American Agriculturist ridicules
the idea of slitting the bark of trees with a
knife, as is very common with many per
sons, when a tree is considered bark-bound,
with a view of making it grow. It says you
might, with the same proprioty, slit the
skin of a bony, half-starved calf, in turn
ing it out to pasture in the spring, in or
der to add to its growth. Sap is to plants
what blood is to animals. Instead of this
course it advises to dig about and culti
vate the roots of the trees--serape off the
moss, and wash the stem or trunk with
soap-suds, lye, or chamber slops—and the
bark will take care of itself. This is all
no doubt, true, as experience and philosophy
prove this—and on what safer ground can
we go ?—Editor Germantown Tel.
HUNTINGDON, PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST 14, 1851.
Concerning Mourning Apparel.
I certainly have no scruples of con
science about it; and I hold myself of liber
ty to consult the wishes of friends, or oth
er circumstances, though I should not con
sult my own feelings or wishes in the occa
sional adoption of the custom. The truth
is, these trappings of grief seem to me in
different and childish where there is real
grief, and where there is not they are a
mockery. If the mourning garb were of
a coarser texture, like the ancient sack
cloth, there aright be something perhaps
to plead for its intrinsic fitness; but, as it
is, it differs from another garb only in the
colour, and gratifies the rfride of appear
ance, the love of dress, scarcely less than
any other apparel. Besides, if any colour
were to be selected, black would seem to
bo the most of all unfit for a Christian
people. The cypress shade, night and
darkness, were fit objects and images to be
connected with death, among those who
" sat in the region and shadow of death;
"who mourned as having no hope." But
I I Christians aro forbidden to mourn as they
did. Among us, the white used by the
Chinese, in token of their hope that the
dead had gone to a purer world, would
seem to be a fitter emblem: or the blue of
the Turks, as representing the sky, whith
er they hope their friends have gone; or,
even the brown of the Ethiopians, deno
ting the colour of the earth to which we
return; or, the yellow of the Egyptians,
likening the decay of life to the seared leaf
of autumn.
If an ostentatious display of grief has
any merit or propriety among Christians,
we must fall very far behind the Orientals,
generally. Indeed, I can conceive of noth
ing more truly mournful than their cus
toms. "As soon as a person dies," says
Jahn, "the females in the , family with a
loud voice sot up a sorrowful cry. They
continue it as long as they can, without
taking breath, and the first shriek of wail
ing dies away in a low sob. After a short
space of time they repeat the same cry,
and continue it for eight days. Every day,
however, it becomes less frequent and less
audible," till it dies away entirely.
But the principal objections against the
custom of wearing mourning apparel arc,
that it is useless, inconvenient, and expen
sive.
For what use does it serve me? To re
mind me that lam in affliction ? Ido not
need any such memento. To point me out
to others as a mourner ? Ido not wish to
be so pointed out. Shall the sable gray
ho adoptod) then, because it is grateful to
my feelings, because it is a kind of solace
to me ? lean gaiu no consolation from it.
But if the ()atom is useless, ite incon
venience forms a still greater objection.—
It is inconvenient, because it throws the
care of purchasing and making clothes up
on a family at the very moment when, on
every account, it most needs seclusion and
quietness—when, worn, out with cares, and
watching, and sorrow, it needs retirement
and relief. There is a shocking unseemli
ness, I had almost said a sacrilege, in
turning the house of death into a shop for
a dress-maker ! Who that has over wit
nessed what is passing on ono of these oc
casions; who that has seen the brokon-hear
ted victims of affliction brought forth to
be dressed as pageants, and harassed with
inquiries about mourning gowns and bon
nets, or heard intermingled with their sighs
and tears paltry and vain discussions about
the adjustments of mourning caps and rib
bons—who I say, has not felt that all this
is inconvenient, ill-timed, and unbecoming,
beyond what any force of language can
express?
But the greatest objection, after alli to
the use of mourning apparel is the ex
pense. That the expense presses heavily
upon the poor is a matter very well known;
and, I believe, very generally regretted.—
But this is not all; it presses heavily upon
the body of the community. None but
the opulent, in fact, can easily afford it.—
There aro very few families in tne country
with whom the expense of mourning ap
parel does not form a burdensome addition
to the bills of the merchant. Besides,
this is the most expensive kind of apparel;
and there is always on these odeasions—
from haste and the natural improvidence
of an afflicted mind about worldly things
—there is a groat deal of extravagance and
waste. And, more than all, this expense
comes at a time when, of all times, it can
be least easily borne. It comes in addi
tion to all the expenses of sickness, the
paying of attendants, and the charges of
the physician. It comes, perhaps, at the
very moment when the main support and
reliance of a family is taken away. When
the husband, the father, the provider, is
cut off; when he has departed from the
world with no fooling of distress so loop
as that ho was to leave destitute those who
wore dearer to him than life; then it is that
the desolate and deprived, under a false
notion of showing respect to him, aro
obliged, by the customs of society, to
abridge the already narrow means on which
they have to nay. how many are the
cases in which a considerable portion, and
even the whole, of what remains for the
widow and the fatherless is expended, not
in providing for their wants, but in merely
arraying them for their desolate condition.
If, then, there is a custom in the com
munity which is no real benefit, and is a
real burden, it would seem a clear infer
ence that it ought to be discouraged. If
there be any who fear that they shall be
too soon forgotten among men when they
are gone, let them be reminded that it de
pen& upon themselves, not upon tho
habiliments of their friends; upon their
character, not upon their obsequies, wheth
er they shall be remembered. "The me
morial of virtue," saith tho wisdom of
Solomon, "is immortal. When it is pres
ent, men take examples of it; and when it
is gone, they desire it; it weareth a crown,
and triumpheth forever."—Tract on the
Duties of Consolation," &0., published
in 1826.
FEMALE EDUCATION.
No woman is educated, says Burnap,
who is not equal to the successful manage
ment of a family. Although it does not
require so much to rule a household as it
does to govern a State, still it requires tal
ent of the same kind. As he makes the
best general who has begun at the lowest
post, and passed up through every grade
of office, as ho makes the best admiral who
entered the navy in the most inferior sta
tion; because they and they alone, aro ac
quainted with the whole compass of a su
baltern's duty—so that woman will manage
a family with the greatest case and efficien
cy, who knows experimentally the duties of
every member of it.
Daughters who neglect this part of edu
cation are entirely without excuse, and
their mothers aro still more to blame.—
The very apology which is often made for
the neglect of it, is the greatest condemna
tion of those who offer it. It is said by
those who arc growing up in ignorance of
those things, as Any ono can learn how to
kdep house when it is necessary. Any one
who loves her husband, and is devoted to
his interests, will make herself accomplish
ed in those things after she is married."—
As well might the young man say, as 0,
what use is it for me to learn a profession,
or-make myself acquainted with the details
of my business When lam married, if
I love my wife, it will then be time enough
to learn a profession or to adoomplish my
self in the details of business. Would
there be any surer omen of total failure
and discomfeiture l That which a woman
can learn to do under the tuition of love,
can certainly be learned to much greater
advantage, under the tuition of a mother.
If it is all so easy to learn, then certainly
they are utterly inexcusable who neglect
it. It is no degradation to the finest lady
to know all the details of domestic affairs.
It is honorable and ought to be her pride.
A woman, though she may ho as beautiful
as the morning, as wise as Minerva, and as
accomplished as the Graces, ought to know
the details of house affairs.
GROWLERS.
There is a class of men in every commu
nity who go about with vinegar faces, be
cause somebody feels above them, or be
cause they aro not appreciated as they
should be, and who have a constant quar
rel with their destiny. Those men, usual
ly, have mado a very grave mistake in the
estimate of their abilities, and are unmiti
gated asses. In either case they are un
fortunate. Wherever this fault-finding
with one's condition or position occurs
there is always a want of self respect. If
people despise you do not toll it all over
town. If you aro smart, show it. Do
something and keep doing. If you are a
right down clever fellow, wash that worn,
wood off your face, and show your good
will by your good deeds. Then, if people
"feel above you," go straight off and fool
above them. If they turn up their noses
because ypu are a mechanic, or a farmer,
or a shop boy, turn yours up a notch high
er. If they pass,you in the street, swell
yourself, and if that does not fetch them,
conclude very good naturedly that they
aro unworthy of your acquaintance, and
pity them for missing such a capital chance
of getting into good society.
Society never estimates a man what he
imagines himself to be. He must show
himself possessed of self respect, indepen
dence, energy to will and to do, and a good
sound heart. Those qualities and posses
sions will "put him through." Who blames
a man feeling himself above those who aro
degraded enough to go around like babies,
telling how people abuse them, and whi
ning because society will not take them by
the collar and drag them into decency I
We aro tolerably humble, in our way, but
wo do feel above snob folks, and respect
fully request them not to speak to us.
[1 .7 "I would not live always," sung a
chorister, one Sunday. A burly son of
Neptune, who had dropped into the church,
to see what was going on, bawled out—
" You couldn't du it if you would !"
AARON BURR.
About the year 1795 Colonel Burr was
owner of nearly one-fourth of a block front
ing Nassau, Cedar, and Liberty streets,
and Broadway. Ho was an eminent law
yer with an extensive practice. I was in
formed by one of the profession that his
practice at one period was worth ten thous
and dollars a year. I used frequently to
sit on juries in the old City Hall (now the
site of the custom house) when Hamilton
and Burr were opposing counsel. They
wore both acute lawyers and eloquent
speakers. A remarkable incident took
place one day. They were trying the va
lidity of a will. Hamilton having the will
in his hand, happened to hold it between
the window and his eyes.. He rose, and
prayed the court to stay the proceedings,
and, handing the will up to tho judge (I
think it was Brockholst Livingston,) re
marked : "If the court please, there is a
witness from Heaven that will set this mat
ter at rest. If the court please, hold the
instrument so as to look through the pa
per. The water mark is dated live years
after he was dead." Of 'course a verdict
for the defendant was given at once.
In the year 1800 Colonel Burr was
elected to the office of Viee-President of
the United States. On the 11th day of
July, 1803, ho retired from political life.
The fatal termination of the duel with
Hamilton, and the verdict of " wilful mur
der" rendered by the coroner's jury, caus
ed, him to absent himself from this part of
the country. Ho traveled through the
Southern and Western States, for the pur
pose of getting up an expedition against
Mexico, for which he was tried for high
treason. Ho then fled to England; where
his papers wore seized, and himself o
into prison. Ho was liberated soon thr aft wu er,
travelled in Franco and Germany, and re
turned to New York in 181'2. Ile resumed
the practise of law at No. 15 Nassau street.
Being lightly esteemed by his fellow-citi
zens, the effort was unsuccessful, and he
soon fell into decay in mind, body, and
estate. Mathew L. Davis, his last solita
ry friend, stuck to him closer than a broth
er, and had him lodged in a solitary hut,
with a lonely window, on a desert sand
bank in the wilds of Staten Island. Here,
through the bounty of Mr. Davis, he lived
eighteen months ; and here on the night
of the 14th of september, 1886, died Aaron
Burr, in the 81st year of his age, with not
a friend to close his eyes, or wipe the dew
drops of death fiom his brow. Washing
ton, Adams, Jay and Hamilton died sur
rounded by weeping friends, and their
graves were bedewed by tears of a conti
nent. "Ho that honoreth ino I will hon
or; he that despiseth me shall be lightly
esteemed," saith the book whose author is
divine. Burr was buried at Princeton New
Jersey. [Laurie Todd.
The north wind drireth away rain ;ao cloth
no angry countenance a backbiting tongue."—
So/ono,
Mrs. Chalmers, of Anstruther, mother of
the 1 1 fttor, had an extreme dislike to all
petty scandal. She had one rule, which
she rigidly followed. " Whenever told of
any thing that a neighbor had snid or done'
amiss she instantly put on her bonnet and
went at once to the person, and told what
had been said, and who said it, and asked
if it was true." Those who follow this
rule, wo opine, will seldom have occasion
to exocuto it. They who smile at scandal,
or listen to it complacently, obey not the
injunction of the wise man. He who pours
scandal into my oars gives me just occasion
to bo angry. Ho offends my good sense
by presuming that I wish to make my head
a lumber room instead of a storehouse of
useful knowledge ; lie offends my good taste
by presuming that I love gossip ; he offends
my piety by thinking that I will "rejoice
in iniquity." lam justified by the wisest
of men in " looking him out of oounte
nance."—.N. Y. Observer.
DIDN'T MAKE Num.—Your corn looks
very yellow, said a traveler to a boy as he
rode up to the fence near where a boy was
cutting weeds; "yes," replied he; "we
planted the yeller kind." I expect so,
but it looks small, said the traveler.—
" Well it was the small kind we planted."
But I mean your corn does not seem to
thrive, you will not have more than half a
crop. "Wo dont expect to," said the
young scamp, "we are working it on the
shares."
ELOQUENCE.-" But, as I said before,
we have proved to you where that town
lino is. Yes, gentlemen of the jury, there
it is, and there it will remain forever ; and
all the ingenuity of my learned brut her can
never efface it—can never wash it out.—
No, gentlemen, ho may plant orie foot on
the utmost verge of the outermost ring of
the planet Saturn, and plant the other on
Arohturus, and seize the Pleiades by the
hair and wring them till they are dry, but'
he cannot wash out that town lino."
1 MODERN Method of Dying for
Love—Turning red hair into black.
NUMBER 31.
KNICK KNACKS.
• • „i„
[..11. WESTERN editor thus sums up
the peculiarities of a cOtemporary : , is
too lazy to earn tt meal, and too Mean to
enjoy one. He was never generous but
'once, and that was when ho gave the Itch
to an apprentice boy. So much for hL
goodness of heart. Of his industry, he
says, the public may the better judge,
when he states that the only day be ever
worked, was the day he mistook castor oil
for honey. Complimentary that.
A POINT or OnnEn.—A. debating so
ciety in a town "down cast," one evening
undertook to discuss the questson "Wheth
er intemperance or slavery is productive
of the most evil in the United States."—,
A worthy deacon contending against the
former, proposed to show the effects of
intemperance upon its victims in "eterni
ty." "Stop, stop," cried the chairman,
"that's out of the United Slates."
T' A stranger passing through one of
the mountainous towns of New England,
inquired :
" What can you raise here V'
The answer was :
Our land is rough and poor; we ran
raise but little produce, and so we build
school houses and churches, and raise
men."
It Two country Attorneys overtaking
a waggoner on the road, and thinking to
crack a joke on him, asked Why his fore
horse was so fat and the rest so lean.
The waggoner knowiug them to be limbs
of the law ariiwored,
" That his fore-horse was a lawyer, and
the rest was his clients."
TUE editor of the Lowell Patriot ad
mires the now three cent coin very much.
A friend gave him one the other day, which
he paid for a three cent drink and received
three cents in copper for change.
SMITHERS wants to know why his
wife is. like a baker who is making a two
cent pie. Give it up ? Because she is
"growing a little tart." Somebody will
have to hold Smithers, or he will kill him
self; some day, dangerously.
\VIIAT a curious being a printer is.
lie stands when ho sets, and sets when
he stands, and when he wishes to set with
ease, he always stands orcot. It is, how
ever, the nature of the case which causes
him to stand.
LI.F' The man who stops his wife's tears
by d—ing her oyes, and the chap whO eats
his little boy's supper every night and
then gives him paregoric to take away his
appetite, were out on a spree together the
other day, spending some money their
wives had earned by washing.
rr A tailor in New York has just in
vented a now fashioned coat—it has neith
er seam nor opening. To get into it yoit
have to crawl out of your trousers.
[:r. A publican's wife in Suffolk, whilst
in Church,
fell asleep, and let fall a bunoh
of keys. Aroused by, the noise, she jump
ed up and exclaimed, 'Sall, there's anoth
er jug broken !"
U.r A western editor is highly elated
at having received a present of a cradle.
It proves to he however an expensive play
thing, for he is obliged to borrow a baby
to put in it, and biro a boy to rock it.
IMPUDENT QUESTION.—To ask an ow;
married lady how old she is. To ask a
lawyer if he ever told a lie. To nsk
doctor how many persons he has
To ask a minister whether be ever did any
thing wrong. To ask a merchant whether
he over cheated a customer. To ask a
young lady whether she would like a beau.
To ask an editor if he has more than Olin
shirt. To ask a subscriber if he has paid
the print6r.
A SPECIMATION IN ITCH OINTMENT.
This beat all Yankeedorn:—Two brothers
went into a speculation. One went through
Georgia to buy a farm, and shook hands
with all the farmers and children on the
route. In about two weeks, the other fol
lowed with an itch ointment and found a
great demand for his remedy.
Tim greatest pleasure of life is love ;
the, greatest treasure, contentment; the
greatest possession, health ; the greatest
ease, sleep ; and the greatest medicine, a
true friend.
A COUNTRY editor invites the attention
of delinquent subscribers to the Gth chap
ter of Luke and; 81st verse.
ONE of the heaviest things to lio on the
humanu mind is a late supper of cold pota
toes. A murder don't begin with it.
noun is an article well enough in its
sphere but we deprecate the rubbing of it
upon ladies faces.