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BY JAS. CLARK.
TWO YEARS OLD.
DT C. I. PERCIVAL.
Playing on a carpet near me
Is a little cherub girl;
And her presence, much I fear me,
Sets my senses in a whirl;
For a book is open lying,
Full of grave philosophying,
And I own I'm vainly trying
There my thoughts to hold;
But in spite of my essaying
They will ever more be straying
To that cherub near me playing,
Only two years old.
• With her hair so long an,: flaxen,
And her sunny eyes of blue,
And her check so plump and waxen,
She is charming to the view.
Then her voice, to all who hear it,
Breaths a sweet, enchanting spirit
-0 ! to be forever near it
Is a joy untold;
For 'tis ever sweetly telling
To my heart with rapture swelling,
Of affection inly dwelling—
Only two years old !
With a new delight I'm hearing
All her sweet attempts at words,
In their melody endearing
Sweeter far than any bird's;
And the musical mistaking
Which her baby lips are making
For my heart a charm is waking,
Firmer in its hold
Than the charm so rich and glowing,
From the Roman's lips o'erflowing;
Then she gives a look so knowing—
Only two years old!
Now her ripe and honied kisses
(Honied, ripe for me alone)
Thrill my soul with varied blisses
Venus never yet has known.
When her twining arms around me,
All domestic joy hash crowned me,
And a fervent spell bath bound me,
Never to grow cold,
0 ! there is not, this side of Adenn,
Aught with loveliness so laden
As my little cherub maiden,
Only two years old !
TOO WILLING BY HALF.
♦ Hoarding House Sketch.
BY THE YOUNG 'UM
Many of onr readers will recognize the point of
the following joke, which we heard related "long
time ago," but which wo never saw in print. It is
a "good 'un" and will bear re-tolling.
When Gen. Jackson was President of the United
States, he was tormented day after day by impor
tunate visitors, (as most Chief Magistrates of this
great country, ore,) whom he did not care to see
—cad in consequence, he gave strict directions to
the messenger at his door to admit only certain
persons, on a particular day, when he was more
busy with State affairs than usual.
In spite of this peremptory order, however the
attendant bolted into his apartment, during the
forenoon, and informed the General that a person
was outside who claimed to see him, orders or no
"By the eternal!" exclaimed the old man, ner
vously, "I won't submit to this annoyance. Who
is it I"
. Don't know, sir."
" Don't know 1 What's his namo 7"
"His name? Beg pardon, sir, it's a woman."
A woman ! Show her in, James, show her
in," said the President, wiping his face; and the
next moment there entered the General's apart
ment, a neatly clad female of past the .middle age,"
who advanced courteously towards the old man,
and accepted the chair ho proffered her.
Be seated, madam," he said.
" Thank you," responded the lady, throwing
aside her veil, and revealing a handsome face to
" My mission hither, to-day, General, continu
ed the fair speaker, "is a novel one, and you can
not aid me, perhaps."
"Madam," said the General, "command me."
" You are very kind air. 1 am a poor woman,
"Poverty is no crime, Madam."
"No, sir. But I have a little family to care for
—I am a widow, sir; and a clerk employed in one
of the departments of your administration is in
debted to me for board to a considerable amount,
which I cannot collect. I need the money sadly
and I come to ask if a portion of his pay cannot he
stopped, from time to time, until this claim of mine
—an honest one, General, of whic4 lie had the full
'ano--shall be cancelled."
"I really—Madam—that, is, I have no control
In that way—how much is the bill 1"
"Seventy dollars, sir; here it is."
"Exactly; I sec. And his salary, Madaml"
"It is said to be $1,200 a year." •
"And not pay his board bill 1"
"As you see, eir—this has been standing five
Months, unpaid. Three days hence, he will draw
bie monthly pay; and I thought if you would be
kind enough to—"
" Yee, I have it. Go to him again, and get hie
note at thirty days."
" His note, sir I It would'ut be worth thepaper
on which it was written; he pays no one a dollar
" But r he will g,• you hie note, will he not,
" Oh, yes—lie would be glad to have a respite
in that way for a month, no doubt."
"That's right, then. Go to him, obtain his
note at thirty days from to-day, give him a receipt
in full, and come to me this evening."
The lady departed, called upon the young lark,
dunned him for the amount—at which he only
smiled—and finally asked him to give her his note
' "To be sure," said he, "give a note—sart'n.
And much good may it do you, mum."
"You'll pay it when it falls due, won't you, sir
—thirty days hence'?"
"G, yes—sart'n, of course, I will; I always
pay my notes, mum, I do !" and us the lady de
parted, the knowing young gent believed he had
accomplished a very neat trick, once more.
"I wonder what the deuce she'll do with that
note? Gad ! I'd like to settle some of the other
accounts in the same way. Hope she'll have a
good time getting the money on that bit of paper.
Jodn Smith is rather too well known for that!"
And be turned, with a chuckle, to his hook again.
The poor boarding-house keeper called again
upon the General a few hours afterwards.
"Did you get the note, Madam ?"
" Yes, sir—here it is."
The President quickly turned it over, and with
a dash of his pen, wrote the name of Andrew
Jackson upon the back of it.
" Take this to the bank to-morrow morning,
Madam, and you can get the money for it," he
The lady acted accordingly, and found no diffi
culty in obtaining the cash for it at sight.
A week before that month's termination, John
Smith received a notice to the following effect:—
BANK OF WASIONOTON, 1852.
Sir:—Your note lor seventy dollars, is due on
the 27th inst., at this Bank, and you are request
ed to call and pay the saute. -- Cashier.
" Ha, ha!" screamed John, upon reading this
brief note. "A capital joke that. Can't come
it, mum—can't, no how. Scarecrow—left for
collection—l • understand—won't do—no go !"
And John. very soon forgot it.
But pay day came round again—and John took
his monthly stipend once more, $lOO, from the
Cashier of the Department, as usual. As he pas
sed down the Avenue, the unpaid board-bill en
tered his head.
" Who, the deuce, now, has been fool enough
to help the old 'ooman in this business, I won
der 1" said John to himself.—" Gad ! I'll go and
see. It's all a hum, 1 know; but I'd like to know
if she has really fooled anybody with that bit o'
paper ;" and entering the bank, he asked for the
note "left there for collection against bin?"
" It was discounted," said the teller.
"Discounted ! why, who in this world will dis
count my note ?" asked John, amazed.
" Anybody, with such a backer as you have got
" Backer ! Me—backer, who 'I"
" Here's your note ; you can see," said the tel
ler, handing hint the document—on which John
instantly recognized the bold signature of the
then President of the United States!
" Sold—by Moses !" exclaimed John, drawing
forth the money with an hysteric gasp—for he saw
through the management at a glance.
The note was paid, of course, and justice was
awarded to the spendthrift, at once.
On the next morning he found npon his desk a
note which contained the following entertaining
bit of personal intelligence:—
To John Smith, Esq. :
Sir :—A change having been made in your of
fice, I am directed by the President to inform you,
that your services wiil no longer be required by
this department. Yours,
John Smith retired to private life, at once, and
thenceforward found it convenient to live ou a
much smaller allowance than twelve hundred a
The Irish Soldier.
Frederick of Prussia had a mania for enlisting
gigantic soldiers into the "Royal Guards," and
paid an enormous bounty to his recruting officers
for getting them. One day a 'Terming sergeant
chanced to spy an Hibernian who was at least sev
en feet high ; he accosted him in English, and pro
posed that he should enlist. The idea of a milita
ry life and a largl bounty:so delighted Patrick, that
he at once consented. "But," said the sergeant,
"unless you can speak German, the king will not
give you so much." "Oh, be jabers," said the
Irishman, "share it's I that don't know a word of
German." "But," said the sergeant, "three words
will be sufficient, and these you can learn in a short
time. The king knows every man in the Guards,
and as quick as he sees you he will ride up and ask
you three questions; first his majesty will ask you
how old you are. You will say twenty-seven—
next how long you have been in service; you must
reply three weeks—finally, if you are provided with
clothes and rations; you answer both." Patrick
soon learned to pronounce his answers, but never
dreamed of learning the questions. In three weeks
he appeared before the king in review. His ma- '
jetty rode up to him; Paddy stepped forward with
"present arms." "How old are you 1" said the
king. "Three weeks," said the Irishman. "How
long have you been in the service 1" asked Isis ma
jesty. "Twenty-seven years." "Am lor you a
fool'?" roared the king. "Both," repliedrat, who
was instantly taken to the guard-house.
iirA LOAD or Gums !—Yesterday the cars
on the little Miami Railroad at one time brought
down two hundred and eighteen girls, from twelve
to twenty years of age. They came from " Yan
keedom," and are going to the new factory now
just starting at Carrolton, (Ky.) The girls were
most of them, good fresh looking specimens of
the great Yankee country.—CincianattCom.
HUNTINGDON, PA., TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31, 1850.
THE PILOT'S REVENGE.
BY BYLVANS COBB, Sli.
It was towards night on the 21st of September,
1893, a small English war-brig, which had been
fitted out for the suppression of smuggling, was
lazily creeping along over the heavy monotonous
swells just off' the coast of Galaway, and on her
deck was being enacted a scene of somewhat
more than common interest. The day before she
had captured a small boat laden with contraband
articles, together with an old man and a boy, who
had charge of them; the captain of the brig,
whose name was Draliutt, had ordered that the
smuggler should bo put in irons. To this indig
nity the old man made a stout resistance—and in
the heat of the moment be had so far forgotten
himself as to strike the captain a blow which laid
him upon the deck. Such an insult to an English
officer was past endurance, and, in punishment of
his offence, the smuggler had been condemned to
A single whip was rove at the starboard yard
arm, and all hands were called to witness the exe
cution. The rope was noosed and slipped over
the culprit's head, and the running end war rove
through a small hatch-block on the deck. Until
this moment not a word had escaped the lips of
the boy. He trembled as he beheld the awful
preparations, and as the flital noose was passed
and drawn tight, the color forsook his cheeks, and
he sprang forward and dropped upon his knees
before the incensed captain:
"Mercy, sir; mercy :"
"For whomi" asked the officer, while a con
temptuous sneer rested upon his lips.
" For that old man whom you are about to kill."
" He dies, boy."
"But he is my father, sir."
" No matter if he were my own father, that man
who strikes an English officer while in the perfor
mance of his duty, must die."
"But he was manacled, he was insulted, sir,"
urged the boy.
"Insulted!" repeated the captain; "who insult
ed him 1"
" You did, sir," replied the boy, while his face
was flushed with indignation.
" Get up, sir, and be careful you don't get the
same treatment," said the captain in a savage tone.
The old man heard this appeal of his son, and
as the last words dropped from the lips of his cap
tor, he raised his head, and while a look of utmost
defm.nce nassed aver his features, be exclaimed—
"Ask no favors, Robert. Old Karl ii.ntock
can die as well now as at any time—let them do
Then turning to captain Darcutt, he changed
his tone to ono of deep supplication and said—
" Do what you please with me, sir, but do not
harm my boy, fur he has done no wrong. I am
ready for your sentence, and the sooner you finish
it the butter."
"Lay hold of the whip," shouted the captain—
" Lay hold every man of you and stand by to run
the villain up."
In obedience to this order the men ranged them
selves along the deck and each one laid hold of
the rope. Robert Kintock looked first at his
father, and then he ran his eyes along the line of
men who were to be his executioners. But not
one sympathising or pitying look could he trace.
Their faces were all hard and cold and they all
appeared anxious to consummate their murderous
" What?" exclaimed the boy, while his lip
trembled and a tear started front his eye, " is there
no one even who can pity ?"
" Up with him," shouted the captain.
Robert buried his face in his hands, and the
next moment his father was swinging at the yard
arm. Re heard the passing rope and the creaking
block, and he knew that he was fatherless !
Half an hour afterwards the boy knelt by the
side of a ghostly corpse, a simple prayer escaped
his lips. Then another low, mourning sound
came up from his bosom; but none of those who
stood around knew its import. It was a pledge
of deep revenge.
Just as the old man's body slid from the gang
way into the water, a vivid flash of lightning
streamed through the heavens, and in another
minute the dread artillery of nature sent forth a
roar so long and loud that the men actually placed
their hands to their ears to shut ont its deafening
power. Robert Kintock started at the sound, and
what had caused dread in others' bosoms sent a
thrill of satisfaction to his own.
" Oh, revenge, revenge I" he muttered to him
self as he cast his eyes over the foam-crested
waves which had already risen beneath the power
of the sudden storm.
The darkness hnd come as quickly as did the
storm, and all that could be distinguished from the
deck of the brig, save the breaking sea, was the
fearful, cregggy shore, as flash after flash of light
ning illuminated the heavens.
" Light, ho," shouted a man forward, and the
next moment all eyes were turned to a bright light
which had suddenly flashed up among the rocks.
The wind had now reached its height, and with
its giant power it set the ill-fitted brig directly
upon the surf-bound shore of rocks and reefs, and
every face save one was blanched with fear.
In vain did they try to lay the brig to the wind,
but not a sail would hold for an instant, until at
length the men managed to get up a fore and
main storm-sail, and then the brig stood for a short
time bravely up against the heaving sea. But it
was evident that should she succeed in keeping to
the wind, she must eventually be driven to the
shore, for the power of the in-setting waves was
greater than that of the wind.
"Boy, do you know what light that is 1" asked
the captain, as he stood holding to the main rig.
ging to keep his feet.
" Yes, sir," replied Robert; " it is Bullyinore's
" What is it there for 7"
"It marks the entrance to a little harbor which
lies in the back of it."
" And can it be entered by a vessel of this size?"
asked the captain, while a gleam of hope shot
across his face.
" 0, yes, sir; a large ship can enter there."
"And do you know the passage?"
" Yes, sir; I have spent my whole life on this
coast, and I know every turn in it."
" Can you take the brig in there in this storm?"
"Yes, sir," answered the boy, while a strange
light shot from his eyes.
"And will you do ill" eagerly asked the cap
" On two conditions."
"Name them quickly."
"The first is that you let me go in peace, and
the next, that you trouble none of the smugglers,
should they happen to be there."
" I will promise," said the captain. " And now
set about your work. But mark me, if you de
ceive me, by at. George, I will shoot you on the
The brig was soon put before the wind, and
Robert Kintoek stationed himself upon the star
board fore-ymd•arm, from whence his orders were
passed along to the helmsman. The bounding
vessel soon came within sight of the rugged crags,
and the heart of every man leaped with fearful
thrills as they were swept past a frowning rock
which almost glazed them as they passed. On
flew the brig, and thicker and more fearful be
came the rocks, which raised their heads on every
" Port !" shouted the boy.
"Port it is."
" Steady so."
" Steady it is."
"Aye, aye, starboard it is."
" Steady so."
" Steady it is."
At this moment the vessel swept on past an
over-hanging cliff, and just as a vivid flash of
lightning shot through the heavens and revealed
all the horrors around a loud shout was heard from
the young pilot, and in a moment all eyes were
turned towards him. Ile stood upon the extreme
end of the yard and hold himself by the lift. In
a moment he crouched down like a tiger after his
nrul than with nnn Icon he resulted thee pro
"Revenge 1 revenge!" was all that the doomed
men heard, and they were swept away into the
boiling surge beyond.
" Breakers ! a reef!" screamed the men for
" Starboard quick I"
But 'twas too late! Ere the helm was half up,
a low, tremendous grating of the brig's keel was
distinctly felt, and the next instant came a crash
which sounded high above the elements, and the
heavy masts went sweeping away to the leeward,
followed in a few moments by large masses of the
ill-fated vessel's wreck and cargo. Shriek after
shriek went up from those doomed men, but they
were in the grasp of a power that knows no mer
cy. The Storm King took them all for his own !
The next morning a small party of wreckers
came down from the rocks, and moved along the
shore. It was strewed with fragments of the
wreck, and here and there were scattered along
the bruised and mutilated forms of the ship's crew.
Among the party was Robert Kintock, and eager
ly did he search among the ghastly corpses, as
though there were one he would have found. At
length he stopped and stooped over one upon the
shoulders of which were two golden epattletts.—
"rwas the captain of the brig—the murderer of
his father 1 The boy placed his foot upon the
prostrate body, and while a strange light beamed
from his eyes, and a shudder passed over his coun
tenance, he muttered :
"Fattier, you arc fearfully revenged!"
The boy spoke truly. Fearful in its conception,
and fearful in its consummation had boon that
" Pilot's Revenge."
The Poetry of Agriculture.
The principles of agriculture are exceedingly
simple. That they might be made so God himself
was the first great planter. Ho wrote its laws, in
visibly, in the brightest, lovliest, and most intelli
gible characters, every where upon the broad bo
som of the liberal earth ; in tho greenest leaves, in
delicate fruit flowers ! But he does not content
himself with this alone. He bestows the heritage
alone. He prepares the garden and the home be
fore ho creates the being who is to possess them.
He tills them with all those objects of sense and
sentiment which are to supply his moral and phys
ical necessities. Birds sing in the boughs above
him, odors blossom in the air, and fruits and flow
ers cover the earth with a glory to which that of
Solomon, in all its magnificence, was vain and
valuelesss. To his hand we owe these fair groves,
these tall ranks of majestic trees, these deep for
ests, these broad plains, covered with verdure, and
these mighty arteries of flood and river, which
wind them along, beautifying them with the love
liest inequalities, and irrigating them with season
able fertilization. Thus did the Almighty Planter
dedicate the great plantation to the use of that va
rious and wondrous family which was to follow.—
His home prepared, supplied with all resources,
adorned with every variety of fruit and flower, and
checked with abundance, man is conduted within
its limits, and ordained its cultivator, under the
very eye and sanction of Heaven. The angels of
Heaven descend upon its hills : God himself ap
pears within its valleys at noondsn Its groves
are instinct with life and pnrity, and the blessed
stars rise at night above the celestial mountains,
to keep watch over its consecrated interests. Its
gorgeous forests, its broad savannas, its levels of
flood and prairie, are surrendered into the hands
of the wondrously favored, and newly-created heir
of heaven ! The bird and the beast are made his
tributaries, and taught to obey him. The lark
summons him at morning to his labors, and the
evening chant of the night-bird invites him to re
pose. The ox submits his neck to the yoke: the
horse moves at his bidding in the plow: and the
toils of all are rendered sacred and successful by
the gentle showers and the genial sunshine, which
descend from heaven to ripen the grain in its sea
son, and to make earth pleasant with its fruits.
" Ask and ye shall Receive."
A new sect has arisen in England, whose prime
article of belief is the power of prayer. They aro
called by some the Craik and Mullerites, from the
names of the principal elders. All they want they
pray for, and, strange to say, they get it. Not
long since they took it upon their conscience to
build a magnificent orphan house. Their design
was beneficent; the institution was greatly needed
in the district; but, instead of adopting the ordi
nary machinery of charity, by appeals to the rich
and benevolent, they simply fell on their knees
and appealed to Heaven. The responses came in
from every corner of England, from many cities
on the continent and in America, and in every va
riety of form. From one contributor came a pen
ny, from another a boot jack, from a third an
ancient coin. The farmer forwarded a cart of
manure, the merchant a hogshead of sugar, the
land owner the product of the sale of a tree cut
down for the purpose. Women sent in theirgold
en trinklets, men their clothes. Tables, chairs,
sacks of flour, flitches of bacon, sides of beef,
beds, tooth-picks, coats, hats, shoes, wash-hand
stands, and so forth, came pouring in. The money
contributions were half-pence, shillings, pounds ;
the latter in hundreds and in thousands. All
these things came, it is said, as the leaves in faith.
What is certain is, the building is there. In ar
rangement, proportion, complteness of design and
detail, it is one of the noblest fabrics in England.
It is already occupied by three hundred children,
and the same means by which it was erected in
the first instance, and is now maintained, are about
to be employed for its further enlargment. No
one is personally applied to for a farthing: the
whole is left to the secret influence of the spirit.—
Yet according to Herr Muller's statement, stran
gers whom he has never seen, to whom he had
ibp en.... have even him for his
orphans not less than £33,868 I Is. in answer
to his secret prayers. A religion like this must
I engage many followers, and take the lead of Mor
monism and kindred modes of faith, provided the
responses to future prayers are as successful as in
the case of the orphan house.—(Sunday Dispatch.
Neer forsake a friend.—When enemies gather
around—when sickness falls on the heart—when
the world is dark and cheerless—is the time to try
true friendship. The heart that has been touched
with true gold will redouble its efforts, when the
friend is sad or in trouble.—Adversity tries true
friendship. They who turn from the scene of dis
tress betray their hypoericy, and prove that inter
est only moves them. If you have a friend who
loves you—who has studied your interest and
happiness—be sure to sustain him in adversity.—
Let him feel that his former kindness is apprecia
ted, and that his love was not thrown away. Real
fidelity may be rare but it exists in the heart.—
Who has not seen and felt its power I—They on
ly deny its worth and power who have never lov
ed a friend or labored to make hint happy. The
good and kind—the affectionate and virtuous, see
and feel the heavenly principle. They would
sacrifice wealth and happiness to promote the
happiness of others, and in retorts they perceive
else reward of their love by sympathizing hearts
and countless favors, whets they have been brought
low by distress or adversity.
REMARKABLE INCIDENT.—A singular occur
rence happened in the village of Piedmont N. H.,
last week. Two little children, one five and the
other three years of age, having strayed from home,
and not returning at dark, inquiries were made for
them by the parents, and as no trace was found of
them, a general search throughout the night, was
made by the people of the village. In the morn
ing, the children were discovered in an open field,
lying upon the frozen ground, and locked in each
other's arms,—ono sleeping soundly, and the oth
er awake. Although the night was a severe one,
the little ones have shown, as yet, no ill effects
from the exposure. It is truly wonderful how
two such little children could pass a winter's night
upon the cold frozen ground, without perishing. li
The Sabbath is God's special present to the
working man, and one of its chief objects is to
prolong his life, and preserve efficient his working
tone. In the vital system it nets like a compensa
tion pond; it replenishes the spirit, the elasticity
and vigor, which the last six days have drained
away, and supplies the force which is to fill the
six days succeeding; and in the economy of exis
tence it answers the same purpose as, in the econ
"iy of interest, is answered by a saving bank.
The frugal mist who puts aside a pound to-day
and another pound next month, and who in a quiet
way, is always putting up his stated pound from
time to time, when he gross's old and frail, gets not
only the same pounds back again, but a goad
many pounds besides. And the conscientious
man who husbands one day of existence every
week—instead of allowing the Sabbath to be tram
pled and torn in the hurry and scramble of life,
treasures it devotedly up—the Lord of the Sab
bath will keep it for him, and in length of days
and a halo old age, give it back with usury. The
savings bank of human existence is the weekly
VOL. XV.--NO. 51
ACQUITTAL OF JACOB GREEN, CHARGED WITH
THE MURDER OF TIIE SEDUCER OF RIB Wl3ll.
The Delaware Republican gives the following
account of the trial and acquittal ofJacob Gann :
" Jacob Green was tried on Tuesday last, at
New Castle, for the murder of Abraham Redden.
It was proved that Green was married about six
years ago, and lived happily with a woman to whom
he was much attached, and that Redden seduced
her front her fidelity to him. He would frequent.
ly take her from her house and keep her away all
night; and there was proof of adulterous inter
course. On Green accusing him of it, he said—
" Yes, I have bad your wife, and will have her again
whenever I like, and if you don't keep quiet, I
will blow your liver out." He carried two pistols
loaded for the avowed purpose of shooting Green,
and on one occasion assaulted and beat him severe
ly. lie loaded these pistols with slugs on Satur•
day, the 20th of July last, telling his own wife that
he intended to shoot Green. That night ho took
Green's wife from her house, and kept her out all
Green discovered the guilty pair about day-break
the next morning; went some two or three miles
and borrowed a gun ; returned and found Redden
sitting asleep in a neighboring house, and shot him
thro' the open door. Ile immediately surrender
ed himself. After being tried, he told the story of
his wrongs in so affecting a manner, that he drew
tears from the officer and all present. He wound
up by saying—" Now, Mr. Hickman, had you been
in my place, would you not have done as I did I"
To which the officer religiously, but feelingly, re
plied—"lf not restrained by divine grace, I think
I should." Green begged to see his wife, and she
was brought to him. He put his manacled arms
around her neck, kissed her, and gave her his for
giveness; and was taken off, ho said, to die for the
love of her.
He was mistaken. The law in Delaware makes
it no higher offence than a misdemeanor for a hus
band to kill a man found in the act of adultery
with his wife, and the jury considering even that
as beyond the guilt of this defendant under the
circumstances of aggravation and outrage presen
ted by Isis case, acquited him entirely.
Tho unhappy man, on being discharged from the
dock, was received bye crowd of friends, who gave
three hearty cheers when they had got into the
street. The guilty wife was not there; and the
widow of the deceased contributed, by her testi
mony, to the acquittal of the man who slew her
Erin vs. Cape Cod.
Tinder thin eantion, the Lycoming Gazette intro.
duces the following good thing to its readers, and
as we think our's will enjoy it, we transfer it to
our columns :
We were much amused at an encounter of wits
which came off between an Irishman and Yankee
the other day in our hearing, and which we regret
we cannot give verbatim. After some preliminary
discourse, in which by an apt "guess" or two, our
friend from the land of codfish, introduced himself
into notice, he said to Patrick
." . ""Abeout what might be your name, sir? Guess
fur want of a better we'll call you Far-down."
"And Kurd-up would be an illegant name for
yerself, me jewel," retorted Pat.
The conversation shortly after turned upon re
ligion, and a stout argument was maintained—one
fiercely affirming, and the other with equal em
phasis denying, the doctrine of predestination.—.
Pat was the predestinarian of the two and after
warmly arguing for some time, with au air of tri
umph wound up with the following conclusive and
"What is it to be will be; won't it!"
"Yes," said Jonathan.
"Well, thin, be jabers, suppose a man is born to
be drowned—won't he be drowned?"
"Wall," said Jonathan, drawing a very long
breath, revolving his quid slowly towards his left
cheek, and preserving the most imperturbable gray.
ity—"w-a-l-I, that depends entirely on whether he
goes near the water!"
A Miserable Miser.
An old beggar woman, by the name of Elizabeth
Murdock, lately died in the city of Cincinnati, as
every one supposed, in a state of extreme denim
tion. On the night of her death, a lighted candle
was placed upon a stand beside her bed, her idiot
daughter, a frightful hunchback, being the only at
tendant, though a part of the time the physician was
present. The old woman opened her eyes, and
perceiving the burning candle, ordered it to be
blown out, saying that she could not afford it.—
When she was taken sick, she ordered the chest
which was, after death, found to contain $4OOO in
gold, to be placed near her bed, and she kept it
within reach of her arms during the whole of her
sickness. When the death struggle came on, and
she was told she must die, she flung her-self upon
the chest, and clawed at it, in a phrenzy of avarice
until she tore the very nails from her fingers; and
while thus embracing her treasure, her spirit took
its flight. An old stove, in the room, was found
after her death to contain a considerable amount
of silver and copper coin, carefully stowed away.
'rho money and effects have been placed in tlao
hands of an executor, appointed by the court. Iu
1840, when small change was scarce, this woman
made a handsome speculation by selling the small
coins accumulated by the beggary of herself and
her idiot daughter. The latter was generally flog
gad upon her return at night, when she did not
make a good day's work, and always whipped be
fore she was sent out in the morning. The cries
of the poor creature, while under the lash of her
avaricious mother, have frequently excited the in
dignation of the neighborhood. The poor idiot
herself was ailwrwarflat attacked by the cholera, and
is now probably numbered with the dead.