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BY JAS. CLARK.
CHOICE POETRY
THE MAIDEN'S PRAYER.
DT J. 0: WIIITTOER.
She rose from her delicious sleep,
And put away her soft brown hair,
Aud, in a tone as low and deep
As love's first whisper, breathed a prayer;
Rer snow-white hands together pressed,
Her blue eyes sheltered in the lid,
The folded linen on her breast
Just swelling with the charms it hid;
And from her long and flowing dress
Escaped a bare and snowy foot,
Whose steps upon the earth slid press
Like a snow-flake, white and mete;
And then from slumbers soft and warm,
Like a young spirit fresh from heaven,
She bowed that slight and matchless form,
And humbly prayed to be forgiven.
0, God! if souls unsoiled as these
Need daily mercy from thy throne—
If she upon hor bonded knees,
Our holiest and our purest one;
She with a face so clear and bright,
We deem her some stray child of light—
If she with those soft eyes in tears,
Day after day, in her young years,
Must kneel andpray for Grace from Thee,
What far, far deeper need have we?
Ilow hardly, if site win not heaven,
Will our wild errors be forgiven?
ORIGINAL SKETCH.
Written for the Huntingdon Journal.
THE PIC NIC.
Ye shall have miracles; ay, sound ones too,
ikon, hoard, attested, every thing but true.
It was a calm lovely morning in Judy, and na
tare seemed to have arrayed herself in her bridal
robes, to greet its coining, that a company consist
ing of some twenty persons, set out from a village
upon the banks of the Juniata, to that scene of
many a delightful party, the Cares. Bright and
joyous they pinned their way along the lovely riv
er, whose banks, oven at this day, remain rich in
the native and uncultured charms of wood-bind
scenery. There arc few lovelier spots, indeed,
than that where it winds in, and out, between the
gray and craggy hills that rear their pine crowned
peaks so high above it; brimfull, and laving with
its pure waters their base, as they enclose this wild
sylvian solitude. But soon this has been passed,
and the way leads over a rolling expanse of coun
try, beautiful, perhaps, only on a morning like the
present, when the newly risen sun is shining cheer
fully among the rich green leaves, and filling all
the air with light, which of itself, is tinged with an
emerald hue—while not a breath of wind is stirring
to shako the dew drops from the branches, or to
awaken the murmuring voice of the tall tree-tops.
The merry laugh of the different members of the
party, with the soft warbling of the forest birds,
lent the scenes through which they passed that suf
ficient degree of animation, that seems to till up
the void in silent nature.
Nice substantial fanns, with comfbriable build
ings and cheerful inhabitants, whose bright pros
pect of sky and water, is never to be shut out by
long piles of brick and stone masonry, every here
and there, appear to deck the scene.
But at length they emerge into that singular
vale, so appropriately named after its own eccen
tric stream, Sinking Valley; and after a short ride
through this delightful dell, the scene of the par
ty presents itself to view; and with all its wild va
riety of form and outline, its mountains, dells, and
cascades, its pure cool springs, sparkling streams,
natural and sublime curiosities, this region might
well be called the land of pure delights.
Bat theparty having alighted, and being nil ea
ger for the day's sports, we must needs accompany
them on their first visit to the cave, premising,
that Clare, the acknowledged nymph of the com
pany, has a figure below the medium height of wo
manhood, but beautifully symmetrical; clusters of
bright golden hair fidling over a brow of unsullied
purity ; eyes of corelearehrte; features moulded in
the most exquisite proportions of loveliness, with
a complexion, which the soft glow of happiness
irradiated with its spirit-like and ineffable lustre.
Miss F- might be said to occupy the next
place of honor; lively and agreeable, with soft
dark eyes of the rich color of her dark cliesnut
hair, which at every motion of her head reflected
• late of gold. tier complexion was as unsullied
as the snow, and so transparent was her skin that
you might trace the course of the dark blue veins
that ramified beneath. Possessing u lively spirit,
a gentle temper, a musical laugh, a smile so sweet
and expressive, one could not look upon tier but
with interest.
But by this time the party have reached the bot
tom of the immense cavity, into which opens the
yawning cavern. And if ever there was a spot in
nature to be appreciated, this was one; a scene of
fairy beauty, which awakens a burst of admiration
from all whose hearts are alive to nature's loveli
less. Standing in the bottom of a hole, near a
hundred feet in depth, you gaze in silent awe, ap
es its lofty and precipitous sides as they arc rear
ed above you; the gray rock clothed with the moss
and fern of years, with here and there a gnarled
oak starting out from its very side, waving its
bright green foliage, iu striking contrast to the un
covered portions of the precipice.
The orifice of the cave at first view is extremely
imposing, its broad massive forehead beetling ant
over the visitor, for some yards, ere he finds him
self within. The mouth is formed into a semi
eliptical arch, springly boldly to the Height of some
twenty feet, and about fifty feet at the base, throw
big over the whole a massive roof of uniform eon
cavity. Through the cave trickles a limpid stream
which springs spontaneously from the rocky side
of the before mentioned cavity, forming a most
beautiful silvery cascade. The,rock appears to be
secondary limestone, so that the cave must ev
idently be a fissure formed by the stresua whose
coarse it follows.
Like many other curiosities of nature this cav
ern was thought, by the red " sons of the forest,"
to he the residence of some evil spirit, and many
of the first settlers of this part of Pennsylvania
found refuge, in its dark recesses, from their sav
age wiles.
But wo must return to our party whom we left
standing at the bottom of the cavity at the en
trance of the cave. And here behold the cheek
of beauty borrowing new charms from this ex
cess of loveliness—the lips which have heretofore,
been silent, become eloquent from else delicious
excitement of unexpected extacies--the blood rusts
through the veins with a quicker flow—the joy
crowned goblet of delight passes round from lip
to lip, and the nectarous draught gladdens the
heart, without madening the senses. During no part
of the day did the party exhibit such evidence of
their admiration of nature's wild and sublime gran
deur, as while gazing upon this delightful spot.
But the wood nymph Clare, perched upon a rock
within the mouth of the cave, beckons to the coin
pony, and tunes her voice in preparation for a
song. And now it comes, wafted on our ears,
through the orifice of the cavern, and as its dulcet
swell is echoed back from rock to rock, and from
side to side, in its efforts to escape, no pen can de
scribe its wild beautiful harmony. It happens too,
1 1 to he that singularly appropriate song t
"hush, for my heart blood curdles as we enter
To glide in gloom these shadowy realms about,
Oh ! what a scene, the round globe - to its centre,
To form this awful cave, seems hollowed out
Yet pause, no mystic word bath yet been spoken
Tu gain us entrance to this awful sphere,
' A whispered prayer must be our watchword-token,
And peace—like that around us—peace unbroken
The passport here."
But the song, is, nt length, concluded, and the
Party prepare to climb the steeps of the cavity to
dine. The repast has been spread upon the green
sward under the ample shade of the sturdy forest
oak, and thanks to their good friends George, and
the "is(lye," the pat:ty are enables! to regale them
selves on all the mind luxuries of the pie tic.
The merry dinner has been concluded, and the
party have separated to take a siesta beneath the
shade of the forest trees. And now, wandering
through the locales of these scenes, let us take a
brief view of some of the different characters of the
party who have not yet been introduced.
And here, reclining beneath a shady old oak
tree, we see the lovely Clare, and at her feet no
less a personage than tier quondam friend, Mr.
Y—, from the smoky city of the West. Young,
rich, handsome, possessing all the advantages of
life, he was determines! to enjoy them by remain
ing single. In consequence of this resolution, he
had courageously resisted the numerous attacks
made upon him by manoeuvring mothers and mar
riageable daughters. But at last he met with the
beautiful being with whom we now find him, mid
matters seemed to take a different turn—he tho't
he might trifle with the lady, but alts, fuels him
self, before he is aware of it, held fast by her
trammels.
Next we see Miss Sue, with hair as dark as the
ebon hue of the raven's wing, a quick intelligent
glance from the eyes as soft as a limns, and pretty
coral lips, half concealing as white teeth as ever
woman delighted to show. Tier countenance, al
though not decidedly handsome, id strikingly spir
ituelle, and is sometimes lighted up by expression,
into a bright and intellectual loveliness; her voice
is sweet as the song of the Forrest bird, and her
very laughs is musical us the clear chime of the
silvery hell.
With her, and engaged in conversation4llsent
ed George S—. Me is of noble appearance.
Though not regularly handsome, his face was one
that could not fail to interest. Wasted away bya
lingering disease, though still young, the strife or
thought had stamped her inelliteeable lines upon
his brow, yet there is something inetlitbly attract
ive in the smile that gleamed on his lip, and light
ed up Isis sharp features.
But We will leave theist to themselves, and pro
ceed to take a view of those two sitting up on the
side of the knoll, and making the woods ring with
their merry peals of htughter. 'Tis Mary, the life
and soul of every party of which she forms a mem
ber, and with her is her friend John, at times but
little less merry than herself, but at others posses
sing a temper that does ace full to remind one of a
certain animal who shall be nameless; and yet he
is a warns friend and a jovial companion.
But here we sec the sisters, Emma awl Ella,
conversing earnestly, apart front the company.—
These two girls, both young, aro widely different.
No link of kindred could have been traced in their
personal appearance, and as little in their disposi
tions. Ella was just verging on blushing woman
hood, a period when many important develope
ments of character are suspended on a hazardous
poise. She gave the promise of a beautiful wom
an, but the excessive love for admiration and fu,sb,
ion, which she manifested, marred the beauty of
creation, sullied the puriby of her mind, and dis
robed*, her of that artlesness which alone belongs
to the young.
Emma, it' not so brilliant us Ella, was for more
femininely lovely; her sweet Paco beamed with
gentleness, and her whole character bore the stamp
of ingeniousness.
But here comes Mr. George, who, by the way,
we forgot to mention was master of ceremonies, to
assemble the party in the Cave, to witness the
magic display of Mr. ?Murton.
t1;ey —. 11111 assettlhica at the entrance of the
HUNTINGDON, PA., TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 1850.
cavern, and a moment after an elderly gentleman
entered with a slow and measured trend; he was
' dressed in black, and his countenance was marked
by deep contemplation. He had not mingled wills
the party at any time previous, and was only with
them, at their earnest request, to see the natural
and sublime euriosi4th which the vale aboun- a
sled. The step of ourton, his eye, lowering
lashes, and forehead wrinkled by thought, impres
sed the beholder with a feeling of awe, that elicit
ed his breathless attention. He seated lanself
upon a rock, and drew from his pocket a curiously
wrought goblet, dipped it full of water pure from
the chrystal stream, and into that emptied a pow
der, which being concluded, ho repeated the fol
lowing lines t—
' "Mortal, would you wish to know,
To prove, to feel, to think,
And understand your weal or wo,
Then, of this goblet drink."
But no one of the party seemed desirous to par
take of his magic beverage, except the fair Miss
Sue, who, stepping forward, raised the goblet to
her lips, and drained it of its contents. Immedi
ately the rocky side of the cavern was a sheet of
flame, which, passing away, left her standing in
the midst of a benatiftd garden, illarnined by
naught save thebeautifid silvery crescent, and the
twinkling stars that gem nights azure arch. Then
in mournful tones is heard the voice of Mourton
repeating—
"Little thanks stall I have for my tale,
Even in youth thy cheek will he pale;
By thy side is a red rose tree—
One rose droops withered—so thou wilt be.
Round thy neck is a ruby chain,
One of the rubies is broken in twain.
Thrown on the ground—each shattered part
Broken and lost—they will be like thy heart.
Mark yon star, it shone at thy birth—
Look up again—it has fallen to earth.
It's glory has passed, like a thought, away,
So—or yet sooner—shalt thou decay.
O'er yon fountain's silvery fall,
Is a lunar rainbow's coronal;
Its hues of light'are melting in tears—
Well may they imago thy future years.
I may not read in thy mild blue eyes,
For the long dark lash that o'er them lies;
So in my art—l can only see
One shadow of night on thy destiny.
I eau give thee but dark rovealings
Of passionate hopes, and wasted feelings
Of love, that passed like a lava wave,
Of a broken heart and an early grave."
As he concluded, the cavern was shook by an
awful peal of thunder, which reverberated through
the recesses of the Cave, ,as though all the fiends
of the infernal regions had been suddenly loosed.
Soon it ceased, and left the amazed and frightened
party standing as before; but Mourton had disap
peared, and was no where to be seen.
But at length the party hating recovered from
their surprise, proceeded totthe surface of the
ground, and, to dispel the recent scene, a visit was
proposed to the Natural Arch. But not even the
sublime grandeur of this bold Arch sprung across'
the Sinking Creek, and forming a ntost perfect nat
ural bridge, could entirely obliterate the effect.of
the frightful scene.
Nelt they pursued their way to what is usually
termed the upper "Sink Hole." This is an im
mense cavity in the earth, of about one hundred
feet to the surface of the water, but how far it may
extend below that, stone can tell, as it has, as yet,
never been fathomed. The sides of the cavity
consist of massive rock, covered over with moss,
fern, and the untrained vino hanging in rich and
graceful profusion.
The party were standing epon its brink, gazing
into its immense depths, when they were startled
by a slight rustling noise, not far from where they
stood, width gradually increased, and was shortly
succeeded by a terrible, almost deafening roar—a
crashing, thundering report, till every echo for
miles around was awakened, and the woods
resounded with the uproar.
An enormous forrest tree had thundered down
the sides of this useful chasm, within but a few
yards of where the party stood.
The fall of an aged cads, in the noiseless hoped of
time, is ever an event not unworthy of interest—
but at a time like this, when all was still around,
and the party gazing in silence on one of the wild
freaks of Nature, it was doubly so. Ages since,
long crethe foot of the white man had pressed the
soil of this western world, did that tree lift up its
green bead from the earth, under thogenialwarmth
of the sunlight, and the summer wind. Ages pass
ed away, turn it reared itself into a gigantic pillar,
awl tossed its green head proudly amid the upper
skies. The red thunder-bolt of heaven had visit
ed its lofty head with a baptism of fire, and sere
and rifted the• storm-cloud sang, and moaned thro'
its naked limbs. But the worm at the root, and
rottenness at the heart, had done their work. Its
day and hour were appointed, and it could not pass
their bounds. The moment had come, and in the
deep stillness of the forrest, when not a sound was
stirring, not n ivhispering zephyr to move a single
leaf, the offspring of centuries was laid loss-, and
bowed himself to the earth. "Oh f there is a moral
in the fulling of an aged forrest tree."
At length the party having recovered from their
alarm, and warned by the lateness of the hour
that it was time to retorts, prepared to retrace
their stepss.
The hustle of departure is over, and they pro
ceed on their way, pleased and satisfied with the
sports of the day. After a delightful ride in the
calm evening, and tilung their own beautiful blue
Juniata, they find themselves treading once more
the street yr their quiet village, and soda theyllaVe
separated and are sunk in the arms of Morpheus.
May their drums be pleasant, andmay they meet
with no dark Magician to read to them the page
of a starker destiny.
13qt there is one, in whose memory the remem
brance of that day will long remain fixed; and
though her check is more pale, and her gait more
sober, yet they are the only external evidences she
gives of the effect the story of Monrton has left
upon her. And if we are permitted to express it,
our earnest wish is, that it may prove untrue, and
that the course of her future years may be bright
and joyous as the past.
MISCELLANEOUS
THE CREOLE'S DAUGHTER.
"What breast so cold, that is not warmed here."
Another child was the happy means of saving
her father's life. He was a Creole of St. Domin
go, and was guilty of no other crime than that of
being rich and preserving the inheritance of his
forefathers. At that time, when the contagions
example of the French Revolution had spread as
far as the New World, the horrible practice was
adopted of assembling in groups the victims who
were ordered to be executed, and firing indiscrim
inately von them, with cannons loaded with grape,-
shot.
The eyes of the Creole had been blindfolded,
and he stood among a crowd of other unfortunate
beings expecting every instant the signal of death.
When, however, the order to discharge the ar
tillery was about to be given, a girl rushed forward
with aloud cry of 'My father! oh, my father! and
making her way through the victims, threw her
arms around her parent's neck and waited for the
moment of dying with Min. In vain were all threats
or entreaties; 'either the representations of her
danger, nor the commands of her father, could in
timidate her. In reply to dielatter, she earnestly
rejoined, 'Oll, my father! let me die with him
What power has virtue over the most ferocious
mina! This =expected accident disconcerted
the commander of the measure; doubtless lie was
a father, too! The voice of admiration and ex
clamed= of pity, which he heard front all sides,
touched his heart, and under some specious pre
text, the Creole was delivered front the expected
punishment, and accompanied by his child, re
conducted to prison, whence he soon after obtain
ed his release. After that happy escape, he was
often accustomed to relate, with feelings of tender
emotion, the heroic action of his little girl, then
only ten years of age.
African ilpartang,
• Travellers in Southern Africa have often praised
the beautiful and symmetrical forms of the native
inhabitants, and the people really deserve the en
comiums. As they generally go nearly naked,
their bodies appear as they really are; and among
thousands of native Zulus whom I have seen, I do
not remember to have met with one marked by any
important congenital deformity. Defotined per
sons arc said to be equally rare among several
other tribes of South Africa; but the explanation
of this fact is by no means creditable to the moral
character of the inhabitants. It appears to be
their custom to destroy, at birth, all maimed, de
formed and defective children. This work of de
struction is done very secretly; and hence, in this
country, we never see infimts floating down our
rivers, nor exposed in fields and forests to the ra
pacity of birds and wild beasts. When a deform
ed infitnt is to he put out of the way, its mouth and
nostrils are filled with mud, ashes or grease, until
life is extinct, and then it is quietly buried out of
sight.—Paritan Recorder.
Things that Cost Nothing.
Sunrise and sunset cost us nothing, all glorious
as they are. Colors that are only to he seen in
the heavens, and brightness beyond description,
are profusely spread, and we have sight to behold
them, pulses to throb, hearts to beat, and minds to
contemplate with wonder, thankfulness and joy.—
Rising and setting suns are common-place exhi
bitions; when, were there only one such exhibi
tion to be witnessed in a century, multiplied mil
lions, nay almost half the population of the globe,
would behold it with rapture.
We give many and time tod labor for minty
things of little value, hut we never give either the
one or the other for the cheerful sunbeam end the
grateful shower, the gray of the morning, the twi
light of evening, the broad blaze of noonday,. and
the deep silence and darkness of the midnight
hours ! The poorest of the poor have these, and
they have them for nothing!
fie Sure Volt are Right.'"
The motto of David Crockett—On admirable
one—was, "be sure you are right, thengo ahead."
If one is in the right, whatever path he may pur
sue, he cannot fail of success; or if perchance he
fail, he can lie down with his clear commending
conscience, and sleep sweetly by the way-side,
though his head rests upon a stone. Right is a
principle allied to those happy combinations, which,
in the great aggregate of life, are certain to tri
umph. Right is like light and truth, indestructi
ble, eternal. "Be sure you are right."
Little by LittU.
Those islands which so beautifully adorn the
Pacific, were reared up from the bed of the ocean
by the little coral insect, which deposits one grain
of sand at a time. We have seen the picture of a
mountain with a man at its base, with Isis hat and
coat beside him, and a pick-axe in his baud ; and
as he• digs, stroke by stroke, his patient looks cor
respond with his words, "Little by little." So
with human exertions. The greatest results of
the mind are produced by small but continued ex
ertions. Persevercnce is the secret of success.
a- Why is type setting beneficial to a nervous
man' Decan,c he can compose hini,ell:
(1* r
,i 0
It Spoils a Man to Marry 111 w.
EOr GEORGE P. 31011IGA.
Believe, dear girls, this maxim true,
In precept and in practice too,
That it spoils a man to marry him;
The creatures never' ought to go
Beyond a honey-moon or so;
If they survive that, they will show
That it spoils a man to marry hi'M
When first he kneels before your feet,
How soft his words, his looks how sweet;
But it spoils a man to marry him,
When once a late consent he'll wring,
And get your finger in a ring,
Oh THEN he's quite another thing—
It spoils a man to marry him.
Have you a finscy?—you must drop• it;
A will, it may bel—you must lop it,
Before you think of marrying;
And even if you venture then,
Select the very worst of men;
FOl in nine cases out of ten,
'Twill spoil a man to marry him.
A Hint to Farmers.
In driving titre' the adjoining township of Bris
tol, a few days ago, we saw that some prudent far
mer had placed an old pump log at the har en
trance to a field from the high-way, as a conduit
for the water, as well as toprovide a gentle access
to his field. It strocfa us as a capital arranpment ;
and while we have no doubt but that similar means
for similar usages arc applied by others, we pre
sume, indeed we know, they are not in general use,
as we have not met one before in our journeys for
years, and hence we desire to call the attention of
our agricultural friends to the matter. Almost
every fanner can providefrom off his own pretnis
cs, logs of the kind and size suitable fur boring,
which, if used at the entrances to their fields from
the public roads, where the rise is considerable,.
will obviate, at small expense, a dangerous incon
venience, which is now submitted.to by many,—
These Slogs last much longer than the plank bridg
es, are much safer, and we should judge, much
cheaper. They enable you to make a smooth
gently-inclined road into the field, which will re
main there for many years, without repair or in
jury.
The abrupt entrances to ninny fields, arc fee
-1 fluently of a nature greatly to strain, and some
times even to break, heavily ladenod wagons; and
we have, on many occasions, seen the loads °flay
and grain partly, and sometimes entirely dislodged
by them. The "log culvert," then, offers an ex
cellent preventive from all these dangers.—Editor
Germantown Telegraph.
rice World's Fair.
The preparations, at London, for the great ex
hibition, in 1851, of the industry of the World,ure
progressing, and on a scale of the greatest mag
nificence. The building to be erected for thkaair
in Hyde Park, will, nt the lowest estimate, cost
half a million of dollars. The edifice is to cover
18 acres, to be 100 feet in height, audio to con
tain eight miles of tables. The amount already
obtained by subscription is over $300,000. It is
estimated that at least half a million of people will
visit the Exhibitions, in the course of the six
months it is to continue, and thereceipts from this
source, at the probable admission price of one shil
ling, or twenty-four cents, per head, will amount
to $120,000. Alt .se space in the buxom has been
allotted to the United States than to any other na
tion excepting France. The prices to successful
competitors will amount to $600,000.
Family Receipts.
AROMATIC BEEIL-Twenty drops oil of spruce;
20 drops of wintssvgrecn, and 20 oil sassafras.—
Pour on two quarts of scalding water, then eight
quarts cold water one and a half pints good mo
lasses, and a half pint of yeast. After standing
two hours, bottle.
To PRESERVE APPLES, PEARS, &c.—Select the
best and fairest fruit; pall carefully, and cut them
into eighths; extract the seeds and cores, and dry
in a kiln or common oven, modestly warmed,
till hard, when required for use, wash in cold wat
er, then pour on water boiling hot, and let stand
for five minutes. Cse the same as fresh fruit. In
die water an excellent substitute is found for fresh
juice.
Tory Small for its Age,
A friend of ours was asked a few days ago, by a
close fisted old customer, to partake of some very
old whiskey, which ho valued very highly. Ho
consented not reluctantly, when his hospitable en
tertainer took the bottle and poured out what our
friend regarded as a very small dose. The latter
taking the glass and holding it above his head, re
marked, rather sceptically, "You say this is forty
years old." "Yes," replied the host. "Then,"
replied our friend, "all I have to say is, that it is
devlish small for its age."
A Suggestion.
At a meeting of the Sons of Temperance, M
Canada, not long since, a young man, in addres
sing the ladies, said :—"Let nit urge you ladies,
ono and all, not to countenance any young man ,
who refuses to become a tetotaller. I would :AM
beg of you to advise all the young men to become
Suns; and if you cannot accomplish this, Nuke
fathers qf them."'
lir The man who commenced readiag Web
ster's Dictionary through in course, reports that be
finds it Tory nice reading, but "somehow the sub
jects are dreadfully mixed up." Du "don't more
than get launched upon one, before off the writer
starts upon another."
0 - Smooth iliticour6e, nil mild behaviour, oil
cimeizal it traitor.
VOL. XV.-NO. 37.
BCELOOL-ROOM EXERfISE.
BY QUIZ.
"John, hound the state of Matrimony."
"The state or Matrimony is bounded on the
north by Solitude, on the ease by Double-trouble,
on the south by Sore-shins, on the• west by Vexa
tion."
"What are its chief products?" .
"Peevish babies, scolding wires, hen-pecked
husbands, smoked coffee, burnt hams and sour
pies."
" What is the state of its climate?"
"It has more variant temperantre than that of
any other state in existence. In that portion of it
called Honey-moon the climate is salubrious and
healthy—the atmosphere ladened with the sweets
'of the bowers of Hymen. In some parts the in
habitants experience a freezing cold reception
when they expect most warmth, and in some oth
er parts there is all the burning sensations of the
torrid zone. Sometimes a fellow's house, in the
state of matrimony, gets too hot to hold him, and
strange to say, he travels well with all speed, not
to, but from the poles, wherecold is generally sup
posed to exist."
" Sarah, has John given a correct outlino of the
state of Matrimony 1"
"Can't say, sir,—never, was in that stmt. Bin
Simpkins gave ins an invitation the other day to
travel in wish kilo, and when I return I'll answer
the question."
"Well, Swab, as you seem to be ignorant in
geography, will examine you in grammar. TA"
the sentence, 'marriage is a (Una contract.' Parse
marriage."
" Marriage is a noun: because it's a name.—
And though Shakespeare' asks what's in a atone,
and says that a rose by any other name would
smell as sweet, yet marriage being a noun, and
therefore a name, shows that the rule established
by the Bard of Avon tots at least one exception.
For marriage certainly is of very great importance,
and being a noun and therefore a same, ergo, there
is something in st name."
"Good! Well, what is the case of marriage?"
"DotOt know, sir."
"Decline it, and see:"
" Don't feel at liberty to decline marriage after
having made Bill the promise I have.. Bad rath
er conjugate."
"Jane, can you sal Sarah is what ease mar
riage 61"
"Yes, sir, in a common case, and / weaddlnt
care if it were a little commoner. And I '43650
Sarah won't be married a week before it's in the
printer's case."
" Can yon decline marriage?"
"Jane blushed extremely, and answered; "hail
rather not, sir."
" Well, Sarah, what person is marriage?"
" Second person, sir, because the one you speak
to is the one who is going to marry."
" What number is marriage?"
"Plural imbiber now, sir, because BM and I
are two at the present time. When the parson
ties the knot, marriage will then be singular, be
cause the bible says that twain be one flesh."
" What gender is marriage
" Common gender, bemuse either male or fe
male may get marricill."
"Does marriage govern anything, or does it
agree viiik something?"
"Both, sir. It governs Both mankind and wo
mankind, and as to agreeing, it agrees with the
world and the rest of mankind."
" Give your Wile."
"My rule is that Bill shan't grumble if I buy
two silk dresses a year, and he shunt have but ono
teaspoonful of sugar s to two cups of coffee:
Re Had film There.
The following squib was "perpetrated" in ono
of the public schools of Philadelphia county :—/
am not aware of its ever having appeared in print,
and it is too good to be lost.
It seem that a few hour's exemption from mis
chief had greatly enlarged the bump of " trettehe
ry" In the upper stories of some of the "young
ideas," and they took and besmeared the balus
trades from top to bottom with mnd, and when aro
master came in he very naturally laid his hand on
it when he mounted the stairs. lie was soon aware
of his sad mishap, but said nothing about it until
all the scholars had been called in and had taken
their seats, when he acquainted them with the fact,
and said he would give any one Ave dollars who
would infirm him who had a hand in it.
At this moment up jumped ft little red-headed
urchin, who said—" Thir, you they you'll give any
one five dollurth who'll tell who lout a hand in it."
"Yes."
"Now, thir, you'll not whip mo, will' your .
"No."
" thir, you won't whip ?"
"You young seump, tick you if you don't
tell pretty soon."
" Thir, I don'o like to."
" Go on, or I'll skin yon alive !"
" Well, thir, gnu had a hand in lie'
The boaster gave in, and forked over.
Just Like Them.
The ladies hare taken to shirt collars and short
jackets. lie nest jump will he pants forty inches
round the bottom, with high-heel boots and a mous
tache. llow the tailor would blush, when a sweet
Mae creature, with to pair of piercing eyes, a kil
ling pair of moustaches, anti a syren voice, should
enter and exclaim, "Sir, take my measare—pants
—thshiottaldc—tight fit, you know." Who would
not ho to tailor avail
r"! stati.l upon the soil of freedom!" (lied
it stmt. 'orator. "No you don't," exclaimed
tdiociatiiker; “y of •tand in a pair of hoot, that
!aim