in fi no b on
,
BY JAS. CLARK.
Written for Neal's Saturday Gazette.
THE WIDOW BEDOTT TRADES
WITU A PEDLAR.
" Good moriiin' marm! can I trade
any with ye to-day 1"
" Land o' liberty ! I want to kpow if
that. you, Jabe Clark !"
"Taint nobody else—but rely you've
got tile advantage of me."
"Hev hay ! well I guess its the fast
time anybody got the advantage of ye
—do ye remember them shoes ye sold
me in Wiggletownl"
"Jingoll'll be darned if 'taint the
Widder Bedott ! why—ye look younger
and handsomer than ever—"
"It took them shoes to stir up yer
memory-1 always tho't I'd her a reck
ons' with ye about cumin' such a trick
on toe—"
" But Vv-idder—"
" None o' yer buts—did'nt ye tell
me they were fustrate leather—and
worth ten shillin, every cent on't—but
seein"twas me I moult hey 'em for a
dollar, say ! and did'nt they bust out
at the sides and run down at the heels
and split on the instep in less than a
weeks time—and did'nt ye know they
would serve me so when ye sold 'em to
me—say 'I"
" But Widder t•e know—"
" Yes I know—l know 'twant the lust
time you'd cheated me—but I rather
guess 'ewes the last time—and I 'aint
the only one that's made up their minds
not to hey any more deal with ye—Sam
Pendergrasses' wife says if ever you
darken her doors again you'll ketch it."
" Well, Miss Bedutt, to tell ye the
plain truth, them shoes has laid heavy
on my conscience for some time back—
I dew confess with compunction that I
had some shortcomin's in those (loya—
-1 did use to get the better o' my custom
ers sometimes in a bargain—l've felt
quite exercised about it lately. Ye see,
Widder, I waent act iwated by religious
principles then, that was the difficulty."
"Do ye mean to insiniwate that ye've
met with a change V'
" I think I may confidentially say I
hey."
" How long since V'
. Vl, about a year and a half. I ex
• perienced religion over in Vermont, at
one n' brother Armstrong's protracted
' meetings. I tell ye Widder, them spe
cial efforts is great things—ever• seers
, I come out I've felt like a 'new critter."
. " Well, I hope you've acted like one,
t• end restored four fold, as scripture corn
. mends, to them you've got the better
of. If ye did 1 guess yer pockets was
cleaned out umnsin' quick"
"I'm free to say, 1 hey made restitu
tion as far as I was able."
" Well then ye'd better hand over that
dollar I paid you for them shoes—or at
least six shillin' on't, they wan't worth
''over twenty-five cents at the furdest."
" Val, I'll tell ye widder how I gen
erally dew - in such cases. I make a
practice o' lettin' on 'em trade it out,
(he begins to open his boxes,) I've got
a lot o' goods that'll make yer eyes
• water, I guess. I make it a pint o'
u• carryin' a finer stock than any other
travellin' marchent in this section."
"Ye nee , l'nt undew 'em—l helot no
notion o' tradin'."
• "But 'twont cost nothin' to jest look
at 'em, ye know—there, them pocket
▪ handkerchiefs is superior to any thing
ye'll find this side o' New York."
" Wonderful thin though."
1. Sheer, ye mean, that's what they
call sheer, a very desirable quality is
linningeambrick. I tell ye widder,
there 'ain't no such handkerchiers in
Scrabble hill."
" I'll bet a cent they're half cotton.'
"Half cotton! jingo! they ain't half
cotton—l'll stake my repertation on't—
t I mean my present repertation."
o
"What do ve ax for 'em
Wel, them handkerchers had orto
fetch twelve shillin' a piece. I never
sold none for less, but bein' as I did'nt
°dew exactly the fair thing about the
'shoes if ve'll take a couple I'll strike
„
.0 , 1 •
off tew shillen'i and let ye hey 'cm for
tew dollars and seventy-five cents."
"Land o' liberty ye scare me Jabe!
wantin' some nice handkerchiefs
';,,,l4pnderfully jest now, but dear me! I'd
go without to•the end o' my days afore
I'd pay such a price for 'em."
- « Wall, then say tew dollars fifty
cents, I'm to let 'em go for that
m considerin' the shoes."
"Twenty shtllin'! it's awful high, I
to wont give it."
" Say eighteen shill& then, nobody
In could az less than that, I'm sure."
"Eighteen shillin' it's tew much--
- I can't afford it."
Tew dollars then—take t em for tew
dollars—it's the same as givin' on 'em
away. I tell ye widder, ye would'nt
git such a chance if it was'nt for my
feelin's in relation to them shoes. I
,told ye they were worth twelve shilli. ,
piece, and now I offer 'em tow you for
tew dollars a pair, one dollar struck off,
that's all ye paid for the shoes."
.
I never gin so much for hanerchers
in all my born days, can't ye take no
less 1"
---I .iklot a cent widder, not a cent."
Well then I dont feel as if I could
afford to take 'em."
" And so I spore I may as well put 1
'em tip agin—wal, I'm sorryi not that it
would be any object to me to let , ent go
so cheap, °lily I thougla I'u' like to set
my mind at rest about the matter o' the
shoes. I've offered to make it up, and
you've refused to have it made up, so
the fault is yourn, not mine, my con
science is clear ; if folks will presist in
standm' in their own light I can't help
it, that's all," (he replaces them in the
box.)
Lemme just look at 'em once more,
Jabe—these us pt.rty —can't take no less
than rew dollars ?"
Not a red cent less ; and I tell you
ngin its the same as givin', on 'em away
at that."
" Sure they aint half cotton 1'
" Jest as sure as 1 be that my name's
Jabez Clark."
Well then, I guess I shall hey to
take 'etit."
I'm glad on't it for your sake—as
said afore, taint no object !o me. I've
got a piece of silk I want to show ye,
Miss Bedett, a very desirable article
for a weddin dress.
'Lawful sakes ! I hope ye clout think
I want such a thing.'
Wel, folks tell :singular stories. I
heerd somethin down here.'
' 0 shaw ! it wont do to believe all
ye hear.'
I sold elder Snifles a black setting
stock and buzzom pin yesterday; spose
he wanted 'em for a particular occasion.'
'GU out Jabe I what sort of a buz
zom pin was it 1'
al, it was a very desirable pin ;
topiz sought in gold. I sold it to him
for a most nothing. I always make it
a pint to commodate the clergy in that
way, never charge 'em full price. I al
ways looked upon the elder as a very
gifted man-1 staid here over the Sab
bath once to hear him preach—l tell ye
widder ''twas powerful plendin, I'm rath
er inclined' to the baptist order myself—
ben quaverin on the subject ever Bence
I was brought out—in fact I've thought
hard o' givin up the travellin marcantile
business and stud, theology; but, on the
hull, I've about gin it up—'twould'nt do
for me to be confined to preachin—my
health requires such a mount of exer
cise. But here's that silk, did ye ever
see the beat on't 1 now that's what 1
call splendid—it's genuiwine French—
they call it 'grody—gro& —grody'—
what the dogs—them French names is
so consarned hard to remember—O, I
know now, grody flewry' jest take a re
alizin sense of the colors—how elegant
them stripes is shaded off, green and
yal ler and purple, reglar French try-col
or, as they call it.'
" It's slazy though, titer aint much
heft to't."
" Heft ! to be sure taint heavy, but
heavy silks aint worn no more ye know ;
they're all out oil shion—these ere light
French silks is all the go now—ye see
folks has found out how much more du
rable they he than the henry ones—
them's so apt to crack—why one o' these
ere'll outlast a dozen on 'em. I've got
jest a pattern on't left—had a hull piece
—sold tew dresses oft on't, one to Judge
Hogohome's daughter In Greenbush,
and the other to the Reverend Dr. Fo
p's wife in Albany. Now widder what
do ye say to 'akin' that, 'twould make
a moat hvastient werldin' dreg.,"
" Well, taint for me to say !'m want
in,' such an article— but epozen I was—
I've got a new one that'll dew. Sister
Maguire pickt it out for me. She !taint
got much taste about colors—but she's
a good judge of quality."
"Got it made up!"
' , No; but the minty-maker's a COOP
min to-morrer to make it."
.Lemme see it, if ye please. I want i
to compare it with this." (she brings
it.) " Jingo!—rit be darned if taint
ston-color ! the tag end of all colors !
Why, a body'd think 'twas some eter
lastin' old maid tnstid of a handsome
yo..ng widder that had chose such a dis
tressed thing for a weddin' dress."
i "Lawful sakes! I did'nt sny 'twas a
weddin' dress—and I did'nt say I chose
it myself ; for, to tell the truth, I did'nt
more'n half like it ; but Sister Maguire
I stuck to't was more suitable than any
other color—and then tew, she thought
twas such an amazin' good piece."
" Good piece I Jingo! what did ye
pay for't 1"
A dollar a yard Ther's twelve
yards on't—got it 'o Parker and Petti
bone, and they said twas fost , rate."
Wal, I don't spose they meant to
cheat ye—they got cheated themselves
whet, they bought that silk. I always
knowd that Parker and Pettibone walla
HUNTINGDON, PA,, TUESDAY, MARCH 6, 1849.
no judges o 'goods. The fact is, them
New York merchants pets off their old
onsailable articles onto 'em, and wake
'em think they're genteel and desirable.
1 tell ye, widder, ye got most consarn
idly took in when ye bought that silk.—
Ye wont wear it three times afore it'll
crack out at the elbows, and fray out
round the bottom."
" Well, I paint been suited with it
none o' the time—shoulcrzit a got it if
Sister Alnguire hadn't n ding-dong'd me
into it. There was a blue one ther, 't
I liked a great deal better. "I tell ye,
wilder, it rely hurts my feelins to think
'o you standm' up alongside of Elder
Sniffles with such a consumid lookin'
thing on." ,
"0 thaw!—stop yer hectorin' about
the Elder. 1 aint obleeged to hey every
body that's after me."
Wal, I know that—only such chan
ces as Elder Sniffles aint to be sneezed
at, ye know. But, speakin 'o that silk
—if twant for standiti' in my own light
so consarnidly, I'll be darned if I
would'nt offer to swop for a small mat
ter 'o boot."
"Boot! that's wnss than the shoes!
Spose I'd go to givin' boot to get red
on't after payin' such an awful sight 'o
money for t in the fust place 1"
Wal, twould be ruiner aggravatin'
if you'd got a full pattern—you haint
but twelve yards. Of course ye didut
calkilate to hey no tritnmin' or ye'd a
got more."
" 1 thought 1 should'nt trim it, con
siderin'—"
"Yes, I understand—considerin' twas
for a minister's wife—"
"Git out, Jabe—l did'nt say so—"
" I tell ye, widder, you're tew par
tickler—minister's wives is as dressy
as anybody. The Reverend Doctor
Fol.To's wife had hero made up with three
wide cross-grained pieces round the
skirt. Jingo! they sot it off slick.—
These ere striped silks !oak lust-rate
with cross-grain trimmin'—seems to go
windin' round and round, and looks so
graceful kinder. I seen lots on 'em in
the city. How them city ladies would
larf at such a dress as yourn 1 But out
here in the country folks don't know
nothin'."
"If I'd a trusted to my own taste, I
shotild'nt a got it. I wish to massy I
hadn't a ben governed by Sister Ma
guire."
"Jingo! would'nt it be quite an idea
for you to be the lust in Scrabble Hill
to come out in a "grody fiewry."—
Them colors would be wonderful be
cumin' to you. Jest lemme hold it up
to ye and you stan tip and look in the
glass. Jingo! it's becominer than I
thought twoold be. I tell ve widder,
you mast hey that silk, and no mistake."
"Dear me! I wish I could afford to
swop. What's it woth
"Wa I, I can't expect to get the full
vally on't. I'll sell it tew ye as lo* as
1 feel as if I could. It's a high-priced
silk—bein' as it's so fashionable now;
but I'll tell you Miss Bedott—though I
would'nt tell every body—the fact is, I
got that silk at a bargin, and of course
I can afford to le , it go for considerable
less than I could if I'd a paid full price.
Ye see, the merchaut I took it of was
on the point o' and glad to sell
out for any mo' ey. He did'nt ax but a
dollar a yard. Ther's fourteen yards
left, as you can see by the folds—and
you may hay it for fourteen dollars, jest
what it cost me. I tell ye, widder, it's
a bargin."
"Land o' liberty! fourteen dollars!
I can't think on't. '
Wal, then, I'l dew still better by ye.
I want you should hay this silk —so spo
sen I take yourn of yer hands, and you
take this, and jest pay me the balance.
Mabby I could sell that to some dis
tressed old quaker woman that wants
an every day frock; and what if I could
'nt, I should hey the satisfaction o' dew
in' you a favor anyhow. What do you
say to that V
Lemme see—the balance—that
would be tew dollars. l've paid twelve
for t'other already. I don't know about
spendin' so much money ; don't know
what Sister Maguire 'd say to 't. She's
gone over to see old aunt Betsy Crock
et—aunt Betsey's sick. Sister Maguire
hates striped silk, and pedlars tew—
won't never trade with 'em--,
'Jingo! come to think on't, I'm a tar
nsl goose to be willito to btand in my
own light jest for the sake of accommo
dam). the wimmin folks—taint no object
to me.' (He folds up the silk.)
Stop a minnit, Jabe. reek it. It's
time I was my own mistress, anyhow.—
I know Sister Maguire'll say it's tew
gay for me, and call it flambergasted,
but I don't care—s
Gay ! I wish to mas.y she could see
a dress that Elder Cole's wifa out East
has got—entirely red—the reddest kind
o' red tew—stripes as wide as my hand !
Mars rather flambergasted for a tom-
later's wife. So ye think ye.ll take it
he . l7l'
• ... .
Dunn but I will on the hull.'
Wal, 1 spore I'd orto start to my offer
--but I tell ye, widder, its a bargain.'
Fourteen yards, ye say 1,
'Fourteen yards plomp--ye may count
the folds at the edge. Yecan hey cross
grain trimmin' if ye take a notion.--
J ingo ! won't it give the Scrabble Hill
wimmin fits to see ye with that on 14
Well, take it. See how much do
I owe ye now 1,
But can't I rell ye anything else 14
Beautiful Extract.
The Independent Order of Odd Fellows boast
of a peculiar philosophy, but which is nothing
more than Christian benevolence under another
name, as is plain from the following elegant
and glowing description of it, taken from the
oration of a brother of the Order:
Hers is a calm, sweet realm. Hers
are the green pastures and the still wat
ershers are the ways of pleasantness,
and the paths of peace ! The garden
which she tills is the human heart, and
the seeds which she scatters will bear
their fruit in heaven. Hers are not the
pomp of science, thesplendor of genius,
the glitter of wealth, the might of ar
mies! With her pale finger she points
to the annals of the past, and they all
become as chaff upon the bosom of the
wind. Yet she stops not here. Speaks
she now in tones us solemn as a mid
night bell, of the nothingness of human
greatness 1 Listen again ! and ye shall
hear her clarion voice, proclaiming
aloud that human virtue never dies'!
Appears she now with the shadows of
death upon one hand, and . the history
of the world upon the other, to teach
how pitiful is individual ambition, and
how senseless the love of self'!—look
again! and ye shall behol her decend
ing upon her angel pinions of love and
charity,' to gather the entire human
family beneath their ample folds. Comes
she now in the shape of a hoary phil
osopher, worn and bent with the weight
of 'years I—lo ! she comes again in the
shape of a ministering angel, with smiles
of sympathy, and tears of pity, to' the
abode of want, and the house of death.'
terrific Theory:
Professor Silliman mentions the fact,
that in boring the Artesim wells in Par
is, the temperature of t earth increa
sed at the rate of one degree for every
fifty feet towards the centre. Reason
ing from causes known to exist, lie says:
That the whole interior portion of the
earth, or at least a great portion of it,
is an ocean of melted rock, agitated by
violent winds, though I dare not affirm
it, is still rendered high!, probable by
the phenomenon of volcanoes. The facts
connected with their eruption have been
ascertained beyond a doubt. How then
are they to be accounted for 'I The
theory prevalent some years since, that
they are caused by the combustion of
immense coal beds, is perfectly puerile,
and is entirely abandoned. All the coal
in the world would not afford fuel enough
for a single capital exhibition of \resit
vioos. We most look higher than this,
and I have but little doubt that the whole
rests on the action of electric and gal
vanic: principled which are coristautly
i operation in the earth.
yell does not regard the theory as
1 7 ;unded on any sufficient data, which
teaches the doctrine that the whole
earth is a muss of melted rock, except
A crust of a few miles in thickness, as
an outer covering. ''rue, there are
ever three hundred active volcanoes to
exist ; but these are inure likely to be
strictly local and limited in their extent
downward and laterally, than the out
lets of onp continuous mass of liquid
minerals, reaching from the earth's
centre to the base of these volcanic
cones. Prof. Silliman encouraging the
comforting opinion that the fragile shell
on which we live is from one to two
hundred miles thick, and little likely to
burst asunder and let us drop into the
boiling iron and granite.
A LESSON FOR SCOLDING' WIVES -
" And I dare say you have scolded your
wife very often, Newman," said 1 ot.ce.
Old Newman looked down, and his
wile took up the reply—
" Never to signify—and if he has, I
deserved it !"
• And 1 dare say, if the truth were
told, you have scolded him quite as of
ten."
Nay ; " snid the old woman, with a
beauty of kindness, which all the poetry
in the world cannot excel, 4 , how can a
wife scold her good man, who has been
waning for her and her little ones all
the day 1 It may do for a man to be pee
vish, for it is he who bears the crosses
of the world ; but who should make him
forget them but his own Wife 1 And she
had best for her own sake—for nobody
can scold much when the scolding is all
on one lac's
T t
Coutstrij Printers.
No trade, profession or occupation,
performs so mach labor, and expends so
great an amount of capital, with as lit
tle remuneration, as the Country Prin
ter. The interest manifested by my
Uncle Toby, when he said "1 pity the
Printer;" was not misplaced. These
facts are true, as a general ruie. There
may be occasional instances, where
Country Printers have succeeded in
gathering together the vanity which
takes unto itself wings,' but they are
few and far between. Most generally,
they suffer all the inconvenience which
negligent patrons (!) and unrewarded
labor bring in their wake. This should
not be. There must be something rad=
ically wrong as the cause, which is wor
thy the serious attention of the class of
' persons we are writing about.
One great obstacle the Country Prin
ter has to contend against, is the appli•
!cation of machinery which reduces the
cost of the city cotemporary, and which
is not available to him. Then, again,
how many of the numerous Dollar prints
which come so directly in conflict with
him, are but the re-print of matter which
has already brought a large profit in the
daily. Most of our country readers do
not understand this, and wonder Why
the city paper can be furnished solnuch
cheaper than in the country. They are
not aware that the news, &c., which
has been printed for them, has before
: been furnished in a daily paper, and
made up at the week's end, into a cheap
weekly, costing the publisher little or
nothing beyond the niere price of paper,
and printing by steam. This is, in a ,
great degree, the case, with the Dollar
Newspaper, of Philadelptria, which,
with its 30;090 subscribers, must be ex
tretnely profitable to the publisher.—
'l'o attempt to enter into competition
with such advantages would be" a piece
of folly to a Country Printer,' Who is
fortunate if he can number one thou.
sand subscribers. It is evident that he
• must depend upon the necessity there
is for the dissemination of local papers,
and the generosity and public spirit of
the population. If they should expect
him to be governed in his terms by the
example of the city papers, they must
expect to rely on the city alone for their
information, the circulation of the
former, being, of necessity, limited to
one county, while the latter have the
, entire State, or the whole Union.—Brad'
ford Reporter.
WANT OF DECISION.—Perhaps in no
way do mothers more effectually destroy
their own influence with their chitivn,
an .1 injure them, than from n g ecting
to practice decision. The fol,o , ving lit
tle fact will illustrate the pe•nicious in
fluence of this course of conduct. A
little girl remarked, a short time since,
that beaver hat were quite fashionable,
and that she would have one." " Have
you forgotten," said 1" that your moth
er yesterday remarked that the hat you
wore lust winter is still quite neat, and
that she did not intend to encourage
extravagance and a love of fashion in a
little girl." "Alt, well replied she,
matter for that-- mother said that Susan
should not go . to' Miss %Ws party the
other evening ; but when sister cried
about it and made a fuss, mother con
sented to let her go, and bought her a
new pair of shoes and a pretty blue scarf
to wear. Besides, I ant quite sure it is
quite right to wish is have a fashionable
hat to go to church in , and I can tease
her to buy one. Arid 1 k now that I shall
gee it----for mother often changes her
"1 Cant."
Never say cant' Its a lazy, good
for nothing sort of an expression, and
none but inOolent, spiritless people use
it. But, worse than all, the persons who
say I cant tells a falsehood-•-for ve
ry often when they say I cant' it is
well known they can. We object to the'
use of the phrase altogether, it is a
sneaking, whining, cowardly saying.
and a bright; enterprising, industrious
indiVidual will not adopt it: Young
men---lads or boys or ladies, will not say
I cant.' 'I hey will feel willing to try;
end it one tries right hard, u lilt a de
termination to succeed, fu Lure is rarely
' the result. Therefore try, TRY, TRY
before you make use of the contempti
ble expression .1 cant"---Frederick Ex
aminer:
A short time after a Tennessee elec.'
f l aw a distinguished politition who re
ceived about 500 votes for Governor,
was walking tile streets of Nashville,
and encountered monkep Sani, a little
negra race rider, who importuned him
for a dime The old gentleman was ye
aristociatic, and placing himself upon
his dignity, asked Sam, " Do you know
who you are talking to, sir 1" . 1 Oh
yes, sir," replied Surn, "you is de gem
man as made a small speriment for Gobo
nar.
VOL. XIV, NO, 8
Never dive up.
Young men are generally ruined onco
if they begin rich or prosperous. Noth•
ing but a miracle can save them. They
either get married before they can af
ford the luxury of a wife-•-or fail and
then, arid not dntil then, are they good
forany thing. Men arenot made by coax
ing. They seldom thritle on sugar plums.
To be men the, must rough it. And
the sooner they begin the better. Oaks
are rooted in wind and storm. Oaks ter
therefore trust worthy. Hot-house plants
come up in a few days.•-and perish ac
•
cordiugly.
Don't Grumble,
He is a fool that grumbles at every
mischance. Put the best foot foreword
is an old maxim. Don* run about and
tell acquaintan c es that you've been un
fortunate. People do not liketo haVe
unfortunate people for acquaintance's.'
Add to a vigorous determination, a cheer;
ful spirit ; if reverses come, bear them
like a philosphti, end g et rid of them'
as soon as you can P overty is like a
panther—look it earnestly in the faco
and it will turn from you.
Col. Fremont and his Faylcrritig
Party,
A letter to the St. Louis Union, from Puebla
New Mexico, dated on the ^..th November,
states that Col. Fremont and party had com
menced; oh the 26th, the assent of the first
range of mountains near Puebla and were pur
suing their toilsome march, through snows, to
wards the Pacific ocean. We give an extract
from the letter :
The last we heard from him, he was
wending his way slowly through snow
about two feet deep, and was within five
miles of the top of ihe first range
,of
mountains. It is the intention' of Ccif.•
F. to go to the Pacific by an entire new
route, south of all his former routes
across the continent. His present sur
vey w,ll be of much interest. Should
a southern ro.ite be determined on for
the great railroad across the continent,
this survey will greatly aid Congress
in determining the western' terminus."
TnE Bth or JANUAI2I.-The following is from
the editor of the Joncsborough Whig, who nev
er lets an opportunity escape without reminding
the locos of their short comings, either in re
gard to their administration of the affairs of
State or nation, or towards their own great
men :
"Thirty-four years ago, the Bth of
this inst., Gen. Jackson fought the bat
tle of New Orleans ; and every year
from that time until the death of the
ole Hero, his admirers and partizans,
have tt got out the hig gun," and made
the hills echo with patriotic retnembran- -
ces of his valor. Nclk , that the brave
old warrior is no more, and has no more
patronage to dispense among these myr
adons of n once great leader, they seem
to have forgotten his deeds, and those
of his brave companions in arms.--We
have not heard a word about 04 " glo
rious eighth," even in Tennessee, where
in the uld Hero's lifetime, speeches
were made, and guns fired in every
tcwn. 0I• the sin of int:mho& I
RAILROAD IRON.—The Harrisburg and
Lancaster Railroad Company have just
sent out an order to Rugland for four
th .usaial tons of heavy T rail, to replace
their present tracks. The iron deliver
ed in New York will cost them $45 per
ton, cash. Iron manufactured in our
own stale, could have been procured,
delivered on the road; at $52,50 per
ton, which is about the actual cost of
production and delivery.
BIDWE'S WAGES.--" hutlei your eggs
a dozzen, marm ?" said an old skin-flint
one day to a market woman. " Twenty
cents, sir." " Ain't you rather high in
your price, nine pence is eno, gh for
eggs." " Perhaps such an ole hunk air
you are may think so; but if I was a'
hen I would'ut lay eggs for a cent a piece'
I know."
"Mn, ain't Joe Smashey a courting
our Meley 1"
" No • what makes you think so 1"
" Why, always when he conies near
her As sorter leans up to him like a sick
kitten to a hot lirick.“
"Sam, is you , quanited wid any legal
eemmen ob dis plods" " None .eept by
repubation I means." "'Well den why
am lawyers like fishes I" 'I dos.nt
Meddle wit dm subject at all.. " Why
dey am fond ob de•bate."
Advertising.
A young man in New York, last week
advertised for a wit.. In less then two
hours, eighteen married men sent in
word he might have theirs.
"806.. is that dog a hunter Z""
"No, he is half hunter end half set
ter; he hunts fo► bones when he is hun
gry, and sit• by the stove when he is
satisfied.•,