HUNTI1G1)01 JOURNAL,
BY JAMES CLARK :]
VOL. XII, NO. 13.
cfZhas•Lrums:3.
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POETICAL.
TO WHO! TO WHO!
' reins on a cold autumnal night,
A diurnal one to view ;
Dark clouds obscured fair Venus' light,
And not a star appeared insight,
As the thick forest thro'
MuoorNs—as usual—. blue,"
Beat homeward tacking " left and right ;
vit hen all at once he " brought up," right
Against an old dead yew ;
At which he rounded to,"
And .. squaring oft" as if for light,
Said with an oath I shan't indite,
-- Infernal scoundrel you!
'Light—an' I'll lick you—black or white!'
Just then above him flew
An owl, which on a branch did light,
A few feel o'er the boozy wight,
And then commenced To wnoa—
TO-WHOOT—TU-WIROOT—TV-WHOO!"
Quoth Muggina- 0 Don't you think to fright
A fellow of my weight and height
With your TER WHOO-TER WllOO,
You cursed bugaboo!—
An' of you're Belzebub, it's quite
On-necessary you should 'light—
For Muggins aint your .. due;'
My money matters are ALL HIGHT !
Tor PHIS - NM'. PAID CP—HONOR DIIIOIIT I "
Thereat the Owl withdrew ;
And hfuggins mizzled too.
But there are ()TRIM chaps who might
Be caught out late some dismal night,
WHO HAVEN'T PAID WHAT'S DUO! "
They know—To woo, TO woo!
MISCELLANEOUS.
MOVE Oa DICONZIY.
BY BUZZ,
Bob Harney was a young man of very
social temperament ; and this fondness
for society led him into associations, by
no means improving to his purity or his
purse. He soon ran through his patri
mony ; but having a kind brother, he
was enabled to make another start in the
world.
Again his habits reduced him; and
again his brother assisted in his recov
ery. But what tyrants our evil practices
are. Bob soon had additional evidence
of this truth. His prodigality brought
him down again; and to make his situ
ation more desolate, his brother having
determined to see what effect throwing
him on his own energies would have,
refused him any farther aid.
" What shall I do now'!" ruminated
Bob. "My brother has declined being
my banker, and there is no other person
I can think of trusting to so responsible
an office. I must take care of my own
funds. Yes, I see I must advocate the
sub-treasury. But the treasury is empty;
and something must be done to increase
the revenue. Let's see ; what shall it
be 1 Overseeing I No; that won't do,
unless over my own negroes ; and these
I don't happen to have just now. Hard
work of some kind 1 This I could never
endure. Speculation 1 Yes ; that's the
idea; but in what 1 capital might be ne
cessary ; and this, like negroes, has
stepped out !" Ah ! I have it now,"
continued Bob, after a few moments
deep reflection ; I'll speculate in mat
rimony. matter o' money—just the
thing for me."
The next week found Bob in a fine
carriage, drawn by a pair of excellent
horses, with driver and out-rider to
match. These he had succeeded in
borrowing from his brother ; and he
was now speculating in matrimony.
- .
His course lay . towards Chaxleston ;
and the second night, after his leaving
home, came upon him just as he was op
posite the residence of a rich widow,
some miles from that city. The lateness
of the hour was sufficient apology for
his requesting accommodations for the
night. These were readily granted;
and soon his heavy trunks, that required
two strong negroes to carry, were in the
house ; and himself seated at a cheering
supper.
The lady was social. She new his
family, by reputation, and from him
learned that he, was on his way to
Charleston to purehuse negroes, of which
she thought the weiget of his trunks
good evidence. His departure next morn•
ing was accompanied with an invitation
to call upon his return. But a few days
had elapsed when he was back. He re
ported the market unfavorable to pres
ent purchases, and seemed disposed to
visit while waiting for a change in it.
He remained in the neighborhood a
few days; but these were enough, in
which to settle the fate of a rich young
man in the estimation of that young wi
dow. They were engaged. Bob post
poned the purchase of negroes for the
present, and began preparing himself
for the wedding.
The matrimonial ceremonies were per
formed, and Bob, by promising faithful
ness in the duties of a husband, became
master of a large fortune.
The next morning, as the mild rays
of the sun spread a brightness through
their room, the husband awoke, raised
himself upon his elbow, and gazing in
tently upon the placid and handsome
features of his wife seemed in deep rev
eril. He aroused himself, and imprint
ing a kiss upon her rose-bud lips, awak
ened her.
"My dear," said Mr. Harney, repeat
ing the delightful salutation, "my dear,
have you married me for love or money 7"
" For love, of course, my dear," said
Mrs. Harney, throwing her soft arms
around her husband's neck, and pressing
him affectionately to her bosom. Mr.
Harney reciprocated her embrace, and
very calmly said :
" Well, then, I am exceedingly glad
to hear it, my dear—for 1 have not got
the first dime."
Bob sent back his brother's carriage,
horses, driver and out-rider ; and of the
"rocks" he had in his trunks, made a
pavement before the door—the stepping
stones to his fortune. Finding herself
sure enough married, his wife made
every effort to make her husband happy
and to be so herself; nor did she fail.—
Bob made, under her tuition, an excel
lent husband, and became a man of su
perior domestic business habits.—St.
Louis Revielle.
A NEW PHILOSOPHY.
Early to bed and early to rise,
Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."
What nincompoop was it that invent
ed those lineal The idea is perfectly
preposterous. We deny the truth of
the whole assertion, and will prove that
we are correct.
Happiness is the end and object of our
existence. Well, friend reader, imagine
yourself snugly ensconced in bed—the
curtains drawn, the musquitoes fled, the
cold north wind howling around your
door, the hour; 5 o'clock in the morning;
you turn over on your right side, yawn
and prepare to leave your luxurious
couch—your " better half " throws her
white arms around your neck, and whis
pers in an insinuating tone of voice—
"My dear, don't get up yet ; there's
no hurry this morning ; it's so cold!"
You take her advice, kiss the nectar off
her rosy lips, tuck the blanket in at the
sides, and once more you are wrapt in
Elysium. There's happiness for you—,
the aim of human wisdom is but to at
tain happiness, and he who attains it
with the least possible exertion is cer
tainly a very wise man. Ergo, the man
who lies abed on a cold winter morning,
is both happy and wise.
We have disproved two of the asser
tions, so now for the third : "Makes a
man wealthy," kc. A single illustra
tion which we can adduce, will show
i the utter fallacy of this assumption.
A certain man was reproving his son
for slothfulness, and among other things
be told him that in walking out one
morning very early, he had found a purse
full of money.
" Alt ! my dear father," said the as
tutu youngster, " but the person who
lost it must have been up before you."
So, good reader, if you have a "spare
rib" by your side, we advise you to lie
closely in bed these cold mornings, at
least until the fire is made, for we have
clearly proved that there is neither
wealth, wisdom nor happiness in early
rising; this we have found front sad ex
perience. And if you are not blessed
with a rib, we advise you by all means
to get one as soon as possible ; for be
assured that then, and then only, will
you be able to appreciate the feeling
manner in which we speak'of the joys
of "a little more sleep and a little more
slumber," and a little more folding of
the arms across the breast.—Georgia
Herald.
[la- A sleepy deacon who sometimes
indulged in popular games, hearing the
minister use the words " shuffle off this
mortal coil," started up rubbed his eyes,
and exclaimed, "Hold on--it is my deal!"
Qj A village pedagogue, in despair
with a stupid boy, pointed at the letter
A and asked him if he knew it, " Yes
sir." " Well, what is it 1 " I know it
very well by sight, but dod rot me if 1
can remember his name !"
COMIC? PRINCIPLES-SUPPORTED BY TRUTH,
HUNTINGDON, PA., MARCH 81, 1847.
SHORT PATENT SERMON.
The following arc the words of my
text:
As I walked by wed& I talked to myself—
Myeelf it said unto me,
Beware of thyself, take care of thyself,
For nobody cares for thee.
My hearers, That this is a selfish world
every one finds out about as soon as he
ceases sucking and begins to watch for
bread and butter. Even the little pigs
know it as they root each other aside,
and scramble over one another's backs,
to get at the swill trough. The lame
chicken, too, feels it most lamentably as
he hobbles along far in the rear of his
flock, and arrives, in time just to be too
late for the last crumb; and when a hun
gry hawk darts among them, he must
look out for himself or he is a gone
chicken. What do the other chickens
care for his safety or welfare'? Not a
gravel stone. In the beasts of the field,
the fowls of the air, and the fishes of
the sea, you behold my friends, a dark
picture of selfishness, unilluminated by
a single ray of mutual kindness or com
mon sympathy—and mankind presents
one equally as dark. The thistles of
selfishness overspread the whole social,
moral, political and religious world ; and
as for eradicating them, you might as
well undertake to dig the "root of all
evil" (the love of money) from the hu
man heart with the pickaxe of theoret
ical piety.
My friends—years ago—after wan
dering about the world, and inspecting
its complicated machinery—often fool
ishly putting faith in professed friend
ship—and, often having discovered the
main-spring of all human actions— I sat
down upon the stump of consideration,
and I talked to myself ; myself talked
to me, and we both talked together. We
came to the conclusion that, as the devil
was after everybody, everybody must
look after himself. So I buttoned up
my coat, took out my jack-knife, and cut
me a stick of independence, and trudged
along—caring a fig for nobody, since
nobody cared a pumpkin-seed for me.—
What is friendship, my brethren( It is
a bee that sucks only when there is honey
to be got, and carries the treasure to its
own hive ; a shadow upon the dial—
present when shines the sun of prosper
ity, and absent when lower the clouds
of adversity ; a useless dog—always
about when not needed, but out of whis
tling distance when wanted the most.—
In short, as my friend Goldsmith says,
friendship is but a name ; a charm that
lulls one into a dangerous sleep ; a shad
ow, that follows Wealth and Fame, and
leaves poor draggle-tail Poverty to get
out of the mud and mire the best way
she can.
Individual !—beware of yourself--take
care of yourself ! You know what hu
man nature is : immutable as a moun
tain, unalterable as a gelding, and un
changeable as a bad dollar bill. There
fore, belong to no society established for
mutual assistance. Such societies are
for the benefit of a few, not for the mass.
They may drop a blessing here and
there, into the laps o*. the really deser
ving; but, in the abstract, they are all
fiddle-stick. They are calculated to en
courage laziness and engender careless
ness. They act as an opiate to ambition,
and a paralyzer to the arm of industry.
The friendship of such societies is a
charm that lures to sleep. Believe in no
Foolerite doctrine of Socialism. It isall
very pretty to dream about Mr. and Mrs.
Ferguson; but you can't make the sys
tem work, till men are furnished with
new and different hearts—human nature
turned inside out—and love of lucre,
and a desire to emulate and excel, are
eradicated from every bosom : which
can never be—and, therefore, let Hea-
ven be plastered with praises !
The world was made to progress—
propel—and the Almighty never intend
ed our first parents and their children
to be pent up in a garden patch, with
nothing to do but lounge, sleep and stay
their stomachs with the spontaneous
productions of the earth. Were it so,
how much higher position should we
now occupy in the scale of being than
the brute creation I Not two inches.—
No,it is intended that we should advance,
spread, expatiate ; and so the God of Na
ture has implanted in each individual
ambitious desires, a love of self-aggran
dizement, and an ardent desire to rise,
in some way, superior to his fellow-mor
tals around him ; and all he wants is
plenty of elbow room, a clear track,
and no favor from your dull, plodding
philosophers, who, because they can't
keep up themselves, insist upon all tak
' ing hold of hands and jogging on to
gether.
My young friends, I wish to impress
it upon your minds that others don't care
so much for you as you may imagine.—
They, no doubt, would like to see you
do well in this world; but they are not
going five miles out of the way to do
you a good turn. So if you wish to at-
tain the summit of honor, wealth and
distinction, you must spit upon your
hands, stick in your toe-nails, and climb
away, without waiting for somebody to
give you a boast. You can accomplish
a great deal, if you have only a mind to
try; and the best way to make you try,
is to convince you of the fact that you
can never fatten upon the friendship of
a hollow and deceitful world, which is
so freely bestowed because it costs no
thing, and is worth nothing to nobody.
As soon might you think of getting a
corporation by inhaling the steam from
a dinner-pot, or going to bed and dream
ing of doing homage to the beauty of a
beef-stake. I say unto you, my friends,
make an effort to take care of yourselves
individually, and you'll probably do it;
but should sickness come upon you una
wares, and hang on like a bull-dog—
should you sink deeper in the mire of
misfortune at every effort to extricate
yourselves—while patience is perishing
and hope is dying—then call upon Hea
ven for fortitude; upon Charity for a
penny, and upon me for advice; and ver
ily you shall be attended to. So mote it
be ! Dow, JR .
GEN. TAYLOR'S PONY,
Gen. Taylor's marque at Victoria was
about a mile above that of Gen. Patter
son, and between the two the Tennessee
cavalry were encamped. Gen. Taylor
was riding from his quarters to Gen.
Patterson's one day, upon a beautiful
Mexican pony, and on his route passed
close to a Tennessee trooper, who was
rubbing down his horse. Totally igno
rant of the rank of the plainly dressed
old man, and struck by the beauty of
his animal, he accosted him with, "Look
here, stranger, wouldn't you like to swap
that ar' pony 1"
" No, friend," quietly responded the
General; "he is a favorite nag of mine,
and I do not desire to part with him."
A comrade of the trooper's recogniz
ing the General, said to him in an under
tone, "Bill, you d—d fool, don't you
kitow who you're talkie' to 1 that's Gin
eral Taylor."
Now Bill regarding General "Old
Rough and Ready" as the greatest man
on the face of the smiling earth, was
terrified at finding that he had put his
foot in it, and stammered out, " G—g—
, gineral, I—l—l didn't know it was you
—I b—beg p—p--pardon, G—gine
ral." The old commander kindly offer
ed his hand to the trooper to relieve him
from his embarrassment, inquired his
name and residence, complimented the
Tennesseeans, telling him that he found
them the bravest of the brave, and rode
quietly on.
On the march of Gen. Taylor's divi
sion from Monterey to Victoria, when
encamped near a small town, this same
pony was stolen, and the General imme
diately despatched a message to the al
calde, informing that worthy functiona
ry of the fact, and that if he was not
restored he should take the priest's
horse. The threat had the desired ef
fect, for in a very short space of time
the pony was trotted up to the General's
tent, "with the compliments of the al
calde."
BE HUMBLE.—What has man to boast
of Honors tarnish, and wealth takes
wings. A few days—a sigh—a disap
pointment—a groan—and human life is
gone. We flutter on the stage of exist
ence—look about for a few moments—
pluck a flower to-day and a thorn to
morrow—and drop off and are gone.
The child that is born to-day crowds off
the sire of yesterday, and is himself
forgotten to-morrow. Such is life.
A little rule—a little sway,
A sunbeam in a winter's day—
Is all the proud end mighty have
Between the cradle and the grave"—
wrote John Dyer more than a century
ago, and the lines are as true now as
when they were penned. Be humble,
then, 0 man ! boast not wealth and
honor, strive not for possessions and re
nown, for ere the dawning of another
day, the mandate may have gone forth,
and you be swept from the stage of life.
A BEAUTIFUL SENTIMENT.—The late
eminent Judge, Sir Allen Park, once said
at a public meeting in London :
" We live in the midst of blessings
till we are utterly insensible of their
greatness, and of the source from whence
they flow. We speak of our civilization,
our arts, our freedom, our laws, and for
get entirely how much is due to Chris
tianity. Blot Christianity out of the
pages of man's history, and what would
his laws have been—what his civiliza
tion 1 Christianity is mixed up with our
very being and our daily life ; there is
not a familiar object around us which
does not wear a different aspect, because
the light of Christian love is on it—not
a law which does not owe its truth and
gentleness to Christianity—not a ens
torn which cannot be traced, in all its
holy, healthful parts, to the Gospel."
GOV. CORWIN'S SPEECH,
The National Intelligencer contains
the speech of Gov. Corwin in a .revised
form, from which we extract the closing
part 1_
Mr. President: If the history of our
race has established any truth, it is but
a confirmation of what is written; 'the
way al the transgressor is hard.' Inor
dinate ambition, wantoning in power,
and spurning the humble maxims of jus
tice, ever has, and ever will end in ruin.
Strength cannot always trample on weak
ness—the humble shall be exalted—the
bowed down will at length be lifted up.
It is by faith in the law of strict justice
and the practice of its precepts % that int:
tions alone can be saved. All the an
nals of the human race, sacred and pro
fane, are written over this great truth
in characters of living light. It is my
fear, my fixed belief, that in this inva
sion, this war with Mexico, we have for
gotton this vital truth. Why is it that
we have been drawn into this whirlpool
of wart How clear and strong was the
light that shone upon the path of duty a
year ago ! The last disturbing question
with England was settled—our power
extended its peaceful sway from the At
lantic to the Pacific : from the Alleghe
nies we looked out upon Europe, and
from the tops of the Stony Mountains
we could descry the shores of Asia ; a
rich commerce with all the nations of
Europe poured wealth and abundance
into our lap on the Atlantic side, while
an unoccupied commerce of three hun
dred millions of Asiatics waited on the
Pacific for our enterprise to come and
possess it. One hundred millions of
dollars will be wasted in this fruitless
war. Had this money of the people
been expended in making a railroad
from your Northern lakes to the Pacific,
as one of your citizens has begged of
you in vain, you would have made a
highway for the world between Asia
and Europe. Your capital would then
be within thirty or forty days' travel of
any and every point on the map of the
civilized world. Through this great ar
tery of trade you could have carried
through the heart of , your own country
the teas of China and the spices of In
dia to the market of England and France.
Why, why, Mr. President, did we aban
' don the enterprises of peace, and betake
ourselves to the barbarous achievement
' of war 1 Why did we forsake this fair
' and fertile gol d on that moor l'
" But, Mr, President, if further acquisi
tion of territory is to be the result either
of conquest or treaty, then I scarcely
know which should be preferred—eter ,
nal war with Mexico; or the hazards of
internal commotion at home, which last
I fear may come, if another province is
to be added to our territory. There is
one topic connected with this subject
which I tremble when I approach, and
yet I cannot forbear to notice it. It
meets you in every step you take, it
threatens you which way soever you go
in the prosecution of this war. I allude
to the question of slavery. Opposition
to its further extension, it must be obvi
ous to every one, is a eeply rooted de
termination with men of all parties in
what we call the non-slaveholding States.
New York, Pennsylvania and Ohio, three
of the most powerful, have already sent
their legislative instructions here—so it
will be, I doubt not, in all the rest. It
is vain now to speculate about the rea-
sons for this. Gentlemen of the South
may call it prejudice, passion, hypocri
sy, fanatacism. I shall not dispute with
them now on that point. The great fact
that it is so, and not otherwise, is what
it concerns us to know. You nor I can
not alter or change this opinion if we
would. These people only say, we will
not, cannot consent that you shall carry
slavery where it does not already exist,
They do not seek to disturb you in that
institution*, as it exists in your States.
Enjoy it if you will, and as you iv
This is their language, their deteralina
tion. How is it in the South'! Can it
be expected that they should expend in
common, their blood and their treasure,
in the acquisition of immense territory,
and then willingly forego the right to
go with their slaves, and inhabit the
conquered country if they please to do
so 'I Sir, I know the feelings and opin
ions of the South too well to calculate
on this. Nay, I believe they would even
contend to any extremity for the mere
right, had they no wish to exert it. I
believe (and I confess I tremble when
the conviction presses upon me) that
there is equal obstinacy on both sides of
this fearful question.
"If, then, we persist in war, which,
if it terminate in anything short of a
mere wanton waste of blood as well as
money, must end (as this bill proposes)
in the acquisition of territory, to which
at once this controversy must attach,
this bill would seem to be nothing less
than a bill to produce internal commo
tion. Should we prosecute this war an
t other moment, or expend one dollar in
[EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR
WHOLE NO, 588.
the purchase or conquest of a single
acre of Mexican land, the North and
the South are brought into collision , on
a point where neither will yield. Who
can foresee or foretell the result I Who
so bold or so reckless as to look such a
conflict in the face unmoved 1 Ido not
envy the heart of him who can realize
the possibility of such a conflict without
emotions roe' Painful to be endured.—
Why, then, shall we, the representatives
of the sovereign States of this Union,
the chosen guardians of this confedera
ted Republic, why should we precipi
tate this fearful struggle, by continuing
a war, the results of which must be to
force us at once upon it ? Sir, rightly
considered, this is treason, treason to
the Union, treason to the dearest inte
rests, the oftiest aspirations, the most
cherished hopes of our constituents. It
is a crime to risk the possibility of such
a contest. It is ri crime of such infernal
hue that every other in the catalogne of
iniquity, when compared with it, whit
ens into Virtue.
" Oh, Mr: President, it does seem to
me, if hell could yawn and vomit up the
fiends , that inhabits its penal abodes,
commissioned to disturb the harmony of
this world, tied dash the fairest pros
pect of happiness that ever allured the
hopes of men, the first step in the con
summation of this diabolical purpose
would be to light up the fires of inter
nal war and plunge the sister States of
this Union into the bottomless gulf of
civil strife. We stand this day on the
crumbling brink of that gulf—tee see
its bloody eddies *heeling and boiling
before us—shall we not pause before it
be too late l How plain again is here
the path, I may add, the only way of
duty, of prudence, of true patriotism.
Let
,us abandon all idea of acquiring
further territory, and by consequences
cease at once without tar acknowledged
limits. Show Mexico Mat you are sin
cere when you say you desire nothing
by your conquest. She has learned that
she cannot encounter you in war, and, if
she had not, she is too weak to disturb
you here. Tender Iler pence; and, my
life On it, she will then accept. Let us,
then, close forever the approaches of in
ternal feud, and so return to the ancient
Concord and the old ways of national
prosperity and permanent glory. Let
us here, in this temple consecrated to
this Union, perform a solemn illustra
tion ; let us wash Mexican blood from
our hands, and on these altars, in the
presence of that image of the Father of
his Country that looks down upon us,
swear to presefve honorable peace with
all this world, and eternal brotherhood
with each other."
A HOME THRUST.—The London Times
says, it was a cruel speech of the French
truth, but a true one nevertheless, when
he said,—" Your Englishman knows all
about Timbuctoo, or Hindoostan, or the
frozen neighborhood of the North Pole,
but ask him about Ireland, the country
lying next his oten 4 and he is perfectly
innocent of any information on the sub
ject." Africa he investigates—lreland
he neglects. He weeps for the suffer
ings of the negroes, but allows his Irish
fellow subjects to live in ignorance and
filth, and to die of starvation.
THOUGHT FOR REFLECTION.—It is sta
ted that the segars smoked in the Uni
ted States amount to $10,000,000 annu
ally. This expense, great as it is, is in
curred by boys and young men princi
pally, and would support 50,000 of their
number in the process of obtaining a
liberal education, at $2OO per annum !
V. The following concise and appro
priate prayer was once offered in the
Michigan Legislature, by a French chap-
lain
" 0 Lor ! Bless de peeps and their
seri'ant de representatives. May dey
make laws for de peeps and not for dem
selves—Amen."
--- There is such abundant good sense
in that prayer that the most sturdy op
poser of mixing religion and politics
might be reconciled to hearing it repeat
ed every morning,
" Well, my umbrella is a regular Cath
olic." "How so I" "Because it al
ways keeps lent."
try. Father Ritchie, of the Washing
ton Union, says he " won't accept the
Vice Presidency of the United States."
Sour grapes (2)
G - The Louisville Journal says that
a recently appointed surgeon in the Uni
ted States Army, was a day or two ago
cowhided in the streets of that city by
a female.
Judge KANE (of the Tariff swindle no
toriety) has appointed his son Thomas
Lieper Kane, Clerk of the U. S. District
Court, in room of Francis Hopkinson, re.
moved.