Huntingdon journal. (Huntingdon, Pa.) 1843-1859, November 18, 1846, Image 1
HUNTUNGDON JOURNAL. BY JAMES CLARK :] VOL, XI, NO, 44. 3Qcs)rr.nzaso. The "inert:v.(l." will be published every Wed- 1 nesday morning, at $2 00 a year, if paid in advance, and if not paid within six months, $2 50. No subscription received for a shorter period than six months, nor any paper discontinued till all ar rearages are paid. Advertisements not exceeding one square, will be inserted three times for $1 00, and for every subse quent insertion 25 cents. If no definite orders are given as to time time an advertisement is to be continu ed, it will be kept in till ordered out, and charged ac cordingly. aj. V. B. PALMER, Esq., is authorized to act as Agent for this paper, to procure subscriptions and advertisements in Philadelphia, New York, Balti more and Boston. OFFICES: Philadelphia—Number 59 Pine street. Baltimore—S. E. corner of Baltimore and Cal. vent streets. New York—Number 160 Nassau street, Boslon—Number 16 State street. POETICAL. LABOR'S THANKSGIVING HYMN BY MARY HOWITT. That I must work I thank thee, God ! I know that hardship, toil, and pain, Like rigorous winter in the sod ,\ hich doth mature the hardy grain, Calls forth in man his noblest powers;— Therefore I hold my head erect, And, amid life's severest hours, Stand steadfast in my sell respect. I thank thee, God, that I must toil ! Yon ermined slave of lineage high, rhe game-law lord who owns the toil Is not so free a man as I ! Ile wears the fetters of his clan ; ‘Vealth, bilth, and rank have hedged hint in I heed but this that I ant MAN, And to tho great in mind a kin ! Thank God, that like the mountain oak My lot Is with the storms of life; Strength grows from out the tempest's cheek; And patience in the daily strife. The horny hand, the furrowed brow, Degrade not howe'er sloth may deem; 'Tie this degrades—to cringe and bow, And ape the vice we disesteem. Thank God for toil, for hardship, whence \ Come courage, patience, hardihood, And for that ead experience Which leaves our beam flesh and blood ; Which leaves us tears from others' woe! Brothel in toil respect thyself; And let thy steadfast virtue show That man is nobler far titan pelf! Thank God for toil ; nor frar the fare Of wealth nor rank ; fear or.ly That blight which mars all outward grace And dims the light of peace within. Give me thy hand, my brother give Thy hard and toil-stainA hand to me; We are no dreamers, we shall live A brighter, better day to al e ! MISCELLANEOUS. ZEDEBTAU BATEMAN; OR, THE DUELLIST NONPLUSSED. At a certain town on the Ohio, a Yan kee and a Duellist happened, in the year 1830, to be boarders in the same tavern. The Yankee was a shrewd man, as Yan kees generally are, but nevertheless, honest, good-natured, peaceable, and, withal, fond of a joke; but even when joking, he was accustomed to maintain a grave and even dry countenance, as if his face were made of wood. His age might be twenty-eight—he was by pro fession -a schoolmaster, and his name was Jedediah Bateman. I know not whence the duellist came. He seems to have been hanging for a number of years about the villages on the frontier, living by his wits as card player and land speculator. He was proud, overbearing and malicious; had been doubly arrogant and assuming since he had been victorious in no less than three duels. Once he had crippled— twice he had killed his man; making, by these "exploits," two widows and 5 'children fatherless. Such was his fame as a duellist, that it was thought to be little less than suicide for a man not perfectly expert with the pistol to meet him in the " field of honor," as this sort of murderers call the place where they shoot one another. In dress and manners he was a fop and a swaggerer. His red, bushy whis kers almost met on his chin ; his shirt ruffles were long and projecting; his cravat was stuffed with padding until it almost buried his chin ; and his bell crown hat was tilted over his left eye brow when he walked, or rather strut ted along the street, swinging and plump ing down his cane at every step ; and wheresoe'er he went, he overlooked eve rybody, and expected the way to be cleared for him by high and low. He considered himself justified in lording it over all who were about him, because he was the most formidable man, in town. If any peaceful, worthy man did not cower at his presence, he was sure to resent the supposed indignity by sneers and insults. Many were the pompous gibes and bombastic witticisms that he discharged from day to day at the school master, Jedediali Bateman, who did not humble himself like a dog before the high and mighty Maj. Dashwell Bicker ton, as the duellist styled himself. He professed to have borne a Major's com mission in the army, and boasted of his exploits in Gen. Wayne's expedition against the Indians. Some people doubt ed whether lie had been in that expedi- tion at all, because he gave some erro neous accounts of marches and battles ; I , but they doubted only in their hearts, for who dare insinuate the suspicion of falsehood to the Major's terrible self; the Major's tongue might err, but his pistol was nevertheless true. Who would ' have thought that our dry-faced school master would, first of all, have the har dihood to retort the sneers and insults of this hero of the pistol He bore several of these attacks with the utmost composure. Not a muscle of his face changed its habitual fixedness ; not a drop more or less blood colored his cheek; neither word nor look indicated the slightest feeling of the bully's satire. He charged the artillery of his wit with still heavier loads of turpid phrases, to express his contempt for the schoolmas ter. Still the Yankee winced not; he only began, with the soberest and most unfeeling gravity to utter some repar tees, as dry and grating as the sands of Arabia, yet so perfectly free from open insult, as to increase the duellist's pride without furnishing him a pretext to take offence. But the natural malignity of his temper was so embittered by the schoolmaster's mortifying indifference and icy wit, that he began to insult him outrageously on all occasions, with the obvious intention of provoking a deadly, quarrel with him. Still the Yankee per severed in his imperturable coolness, and replied only by jokes and sarcasms of more stony and indigestible hardness. The bully's rage become unbounded, and the Yankee's friends saw that the affair would soon come to personal violence. But their kind endeavors were in vain to persuade Jedediah to soothe the bul ly's rage. "If you mortify his pride any farther, he will assault you," said they, " and you will have to let him beat you with his cane, or shoot you with his pistol." " I shall let him do neither, I guess," said the Yankee. How will you prevent him 1" " You will see when the time comes," was the final reply. In the evening, at supper, the duel list, as usual, began to utter something designed to provoke the Yankee. At first Jedediah gave no heed. To make the attack more direct, the bully pro ceeded to, as he had often done, and us fops and addlepates mostly do, to ex press his contempt of schoolmasters, or pedagogues, as he and other fops used to call them. Seeing that Jedediah still paid no attention, he addressed him su perciliously in these words : " Come, Sir Pedagogue, you are silent. Be so condescending as to illustrate your profession, by informing us how many ideas you have bastinadoed into the posteriors of your boys, to-day V' "Not one, sir," said Jedediah. "The boys don't carry their ideas in their pos teriors, however they may have done in your boyish days." " The deuce—do you say so, Mr. Pe dagogue 1 Why do you apply your birchen instrument with such impetuos ity to that inferior part of their corpo real system 1 Come, your philosophical reasons, Mr. Pedagogue." You shall be satisfied, sir. I apply the birch to that part because it is the base of the system ; all the baser ele ments settle down into it, such as sloth, pride, malice, insolence, ill-manners, and whatever else may tend to make a man proud without virtue; boastful without merit ; pompous without dignity ; and quarrelsome without reason. Therefore 1 apply the remedy to the base, in order to expel such baseness from its seat in the system." The bully was so foiled by this an swer, that for some moments he showed his rage only by his fierce looks. Then setting his arms akimbo, he said— " You are a cowardly pedagogue to attack boys in that cowardly way. 1 never knew a pedagogue who was not a tyrant among his children, and a— infernal coward among men." He in terlarded this speech with one of the oaths commonly used by blackguards and bullies, adding these words—" I had a pedagogue in my battalion during the campaign of '96 against the Indians, and the coward run away in every bat tle, till I had him drummed out of the army the poltroon." " You said the campaign of '96—ain't you mistaken in the date 1" asked Bate man, with cool gravity. " Yes, Sir Pedagogue, I said the cam paign of '96, under Wayne. I mistake no dates, sir; and if I did, your peda. CORRECT PRINCIPLES-SUPPORTED BY TRIITIT HUNTINGDON, PA,, NOVEMBER 18, 1846. shirt, was in some danger of being hang- The company in the neighboring woods ed for wilful murder. Now only the fell into the rear, tittering at the strange friendless and beggarly murderers are , result of the duel. The line of march liable to the gallows. But then, as now, was pursued without intermission ; for the murders in a duel had nothing to I whenever the duellist attempted to halt .fear from the law, but might be raised I or speak, the angry voice of the Yankee to the highest honors by popular favor. I drove him on with the threat of buck- Therefore, Bickerton, believing that he ' shot. could satiate his malice as certainly in "Yankee doodle came to lawn, a duel, as by instant assassination, re- To buy a keg or brandy" turned to his room and penned a lod- Mind your steps there, or I'll blow lenge, in due form, according to the code your brains out." of honor. Bateman promptly accepted "Yankee doodle, doodle, duo, it, to the dismay of his friends, who Yankee doodle dandy." now looked upon him as no better than Now it happened to be muster day a dead man. He had the right, as the for a battalion of militia, and the streets challenged party, to prescribe the terms were filled up with all sorts of people of fight. They were to meet on the from the country. When the crowd next day at the great Indian mound, saw the terrible duelist with thunder about half a mile from the town, in a and lightning in his face, walking along dense forest; they were to have no see- before the dry-visaged school-master, onds, but were to stand ten yards apart, and the master with a large musket, and either might fire at pleasure, alter solemnly chanting, "Yankee Doodle," calling at the other, "Stop! take care of and marching as cooly as if he drove an yourself" Their friends might stand ox-cart, they gathered themselves about DOW, JR., ON DANDIES. fifty yards off to see that those terms them with wonder and curiosity to see There are few preachers in the land were duly observed : but were not to in- what these things meant. When the whose sermons are so full of pith, point, terfere unless they were violated. Near- bully reached the tavern door, hundreds , pe ly every man wished the Yankee success, had assembled. Mounting the platform Jr.'er and pungent, as those of " Dow, of the New York Sunday Mercury. but expected only to see him killed at the before the door, he turned to addres his ;Sec how he walks into a certain class of first lire. indignant remonstrance to the multitude. ' lazy, loaferish, cut-wasp dandies, who The duellits demurred a t fi rs t to the Before he could utter a word the Yan- I may be found in our villages as thick as extraordinary terms p rescr ib e d by the ices cried out, " Halt ! Face to the left ! flies in dog-days, or toads after a sum schoolmaster ; but he finally acceded to and tell the people what a Yankee trick I tiler shower : them, feeling sure of his own quickness I have played you." "Now, you that was cut out for a , of hand, and doubted not he could pierce Yes," roared out Bickerton, gladbut was so villainously spoiled in 'the heart whose blood he s o eagerly vent his raging indignation—. a derog- ' making up, I'll attend to your ease. For what end did you break open the world's thirsted for. atory, dishonorable, ungentlemanly ad- So, on the next day, at the appointed vantage ! Fellow citizens, I appeal to door, and rush in uncalled, like a man hour, the redoubtable M a j or strutted you and the laws of honor. This din- chased by a mad bulll What good do forth to the field o f h onor , w ith a well reputable pedagogue had the audacious you expect to bestow on your fellow charged brace of pistols wrapped up in I temerity, intolerable insolence,last night men 1 Some useful invention, some a handkerchief and t uc k un d er hi s left to disengage into my face—yes, my fel- ,neat discovery, or even one solitary arm. ‘t lien in sight of the mound, he \ low citizens, the foul and slimy Moe- remark 1 No ! those that look for any cast his eyes about in s ear c h of his ad-, dients of his supper ; I would have pun- good from you, will be just as badly versary ; but no Yankee appeared. He ' ished him instanter, but for theinter. fooled as the man who caught a skunk moved slowly onwards, keeping a sharp cession of the company. But to vindi- end thought it was a kitten, or the wo look out for his man, and licking his cate my outraged honor, rcondescended man who made greens out of gunpowder lips in preparation for th e ex p ec ted feast to demand of him the satisfaction of a tea. You know where the neatest, tight ,of blood. The forest was always deep gentleman, and he, with most knavish et pants, with the strongest straps, can dusky with shade in that place, and the designs, accepted my cartel. be got "on tick," but you don't know morning fog still lingered in its dark re- "This morning at the appointed hour I where the next useful lecture will be de ceases. When he got so near the mound I repaired to the field of honor, equipped livered. You know the color of a vest, as to see it and the trees a bo u t it distinct- as gentlemen usually are for honorable but never studied the gorgeous hues of ly, ho was certain the scho o lmaster had combat. When I arrived at the place, the rainbow, unless it was to wish for a not arrived, and began with feelings of the dastardly poltroon was invisibly con- piece to make a cravat; you know how disappointed revenge to curse him alcud coaled behind a giant son of the forest, a fool feels in full dress but you don't for a cowardly knave, a base poltibon, armed with a musket enormously char- know how a man feels when he eats tine and a chicken-hearted,white-livered ped- ged with nine buckshot ; and before we bread earned by the sweat of his brow; agogue. had measured the ground or taken our I you know how a monkey looks, for you He was pouring forth these impreea- positions, or the skulking dastard show- , see one every day twenty times in your tiona and lengthening them with all the ed his person, lie presented his musket I landlady's looking glass, but you don't choicest terms in the vocabulary of lion- and threatened to shoot me if I did not know how a man feels after doing a good orable bullies, when he was stopped in drop my pistols and return to town.— action; you don't go where that sight is mid career by an unexpected phenom- In attempting to unwrap my pistols they to be seen. Oh ! wasp-waisted, catfish enon. On reaching an open lot near the slipped out of my hands, and thus I was mouthed, baboon-shouldered, clapper mound, he struck across the path ; and exposed unarmed to the dastardly attack' legged, goose-eyed, sheep-faced, bewhis at the same instant a voice of thunder of this pedagogical poltroon with his kered drones in the bee-hive—what are smote his ears with the words, " Stop, , dishonorable musket charged with an you good for 1 Nothing, but to cheat take care of yourself !" He did stop in I enormous quantity of buckshot. I turn- your tailor, neatly lisp by note a line great surprise, and looked towards the ed indignantly upon this contemptible from some milk-and-cider poetaster,sen place from which the voice had come, attempt at assassination, and returned timentally talk love, eat oysters, and act but lie saw only the huge trunk of a tree home—that I might on a subsequent oc- the fool shamefully. 1 say, does your that stood by the mound, t en yard s from casion vindicate my outraged honor, I mother know you're out 1 I'm afraid the pole at which he stopped. He had I and in public and ostensible conflict, in-you have no mother, nor never had. no time for deliberation ; the voice thun- I Ilia a lacerating flagellation upon the " You are of no more use in this world dered again, " Take care of yourself, I'll pedagogical author of this outrageous than a time-piece in a beaver-dam, or a blow your brains out !" and now he saw I violation of tine code of honor, hereto-' matrass in a hog-pen. You fill no larg distinctly the muzzle of a great blun- I fore inviolably observed by all who arc er space in the world's eye than tine toe derbuss pointed towards him from be- I entitled to the honorable appellation of nail of a mosquito would in a market hind the tree, and the Yankee's eye at l gentlemen." ! house, or a stump-tailed dog in all out the butt, taking aim while the, tree con- I When the duellist hind concluded his of doors; you are as little thought of as cealed his body. The duellist was so speech, I had then a right, by tine terms, the fellow who knocked his grandmoth taken off his guard, that lie stood con- to fire; but I left it to his choice either er's last tooth down her throat; and as founded for an instant ; but as the ex- to take nine buckshot from my gun, or for your brains, ten thousand such could ' pected shot did not conic, lie began to to drop his pistols and march back to be preserved in a drop of brandy, and fumble under his arm for his pistols ; town. He wisely chose thc latter ; and have as much sea room as a tadpole in but he no sooner began to unwrap them you all bear witness that I brought him Lake Superior—and as for your ideas, than the Yankee called out, in the most Ifrom the field of honor safe and sound; you have but one—and that is stamped decided tone, 4 , Drop your pistols or I'll and that is more than lie would have ,on your leaden skull an inch deep—that shoot you !" The bully hesitated.— done for me, if I had been in his place tailors and females were made to be " Drop 'em, I tell you, or I'll blow nine and he in mine. And now, to show that gulled by you, and that you think de buckshot into you as soon as I count I meant to take no unfair advantage, I cent people envy your appearance! Poor three ; mind now, one, two, thr— He I will change situations with him before useless tobacco worm ! you are a deei ever. had cocked his musket and taken, what i you all. I will take his pistols and he dedly hard case ! " Fly, Bateman, fly," said the compa- 'the duellist saw, a sure aim. Before the shall take my blunderbuss, and place ny ; "he will shoot you." word three was fully pronounced, the himself in my situation and position.— " guess not," said the Yankee; "but handkerchief containing the pistols fell He shall stand ten yards off and may I may have to mend his manners with to the ground, whether by accident, or fire nt pleasure, after calling out, " Stop, something harder than hasty pudding." a paralysis of the duellist's nerves, or take care !" t was acknowledged by So saying, Inc picked up a heavy fire an act of his will, we shall not under- all the company present to be a fair pro shovel at the hearth, and posted himself take to say ; however, the pistol fell. position, and the duellist accepted the behind the door by which Bickerton " Now, said the Yankee, stepping terms of the schoolmaster. The ground would enter out from behind the tree, with his finger was measured and the combatants took gogical pusillanimity disqualifies you for the funeration of historical recollection." " Wayne's expedition against the In dians was over, and peace was made be fore '96," said Bateman drily, as he sat nearly opposite to Bickerton, stirring a copious mixture of butter, and molasses and mush, or hasty pudding, which was to be his supper. "You are a pedagogue !" roared out the bully.— "What do you know of Wayne's cam paign't Stick to your ferrule and spel ling book, and leave military affairs to gentlemen—they are exterior to your province." "Boys learn history in these days," said Bateman, as he rose from the table and took a volume from the mantle-piece. After turning over a few leaves, he re sumed his seat and said, "Here is an epitome of American history brought down to the year 1821. He then read a short paragraph which confirmed his as sertion, when handing the book towards Bickerton, he said, " That's what my boys learn, sir. Would you like to see it in the book, Majorl" " No, you are a solent liar, I tell you." ." One mark of a fool," said Bateman, as dryly as ever, " is to fly into a pas sion, and call names about a trifle, and one mark of the liar is to persevere in a false assertion in the face of evidence to the contrary." The Yankee had no sooner spoken these words, stirring the mush all the while, then the enraged bully lifted the case knife in his hand, and flung it vio lently at Bateman's head. The Yan kee, though seemingly intent upon his mush, which he had now thoroughly im bued with molasses and butter, kept watch, however, with the corner of his eye, and dodged the knife as it flew whizzing towards his head. At the same time dropping his spoon, he slipped his hand under his plate, and adroitly dashed it, mush foremost, plump into the duellist's face. The centre of the reeking mass struck his nose, which, operating as a wedge, caused the clam my supper of the Yankee to spread itself with accommodating facility over the whole fiery visage of the duellist, and to stop up every hole and fill up every hol low in the said visage—eyes and ears not excepted. A considerable quantity became entangled in his liege, bushy whiskers, the superfluity gliding down with the plate, made a lodgment in the bosom, and the manifold convolutions of the frill that stuck out prominently in front. Happily for the duellist, the op eration of mixing and compounding the plaster, had so reduced its temperature that it was not quite scalding hot, and the eyelids had instinctively closed themselves on the approach of the slap ' dashing application, or those lately glar ing eyeballs would never again have di rected a pistol ball at the heart of an en- —fool, and an in- emy. He was led by the hand to a back porch, where, after a minute's washing, the orifices and cadties of his face were cleared of the adhesive mixture, and he was able again to see, hear, smell and speak. When he found his organs free, though he still wept blood from the rude contents of the heavy pewter plate, he began to roar out a torrent of oaths, im precations and threats against the Yan kee, who had begun to feed his hunger upon a second plate of hasty pudding, as if nothing had happened. In spite of the entreaties of the company, the raving bully started upstairs for his pis tols, swearing in the most awful man ner that he would shoot the offending pedagogue upon the spot. Presently he was heard on his return, cursing and swearing as violently as , , While some were endeavoring to dis- I still on the trigger, but the wide muzzle their respective stations. The Yankee suade the furious bully from his pur- of the firelock elevated at an angle of threw the blunderbuss at the feet of the pose, the Yankee said to those in the thirty degrees,—" you have but one way duellist, who very coolly picked it up, room with him—" Tell him to challenge ,to save your ife. Right about face!' imagining that in a very few moments me ; I will meet him in the field of The. duellist began to remonstrate.— ho should retrieve his honor, by driving honor." When this message was first "Face about, I tell you, or I'll drive a the nine buckshot into the body of his delivered to the duellist, he only raved load of buckshot through you ;" and he antagonist. The word was given, and and swore the more fiercely, anddemand- begun to level his musket as he advan- the duellist instantly raised his blunder ed immediate access to the insolent pe- 1 ced upon his adversary. The duellist buss, and taking sure aim, pulled the dapple, that he might drive a ball thro' I faced about like a soldier. " Very well ; trigger. " Snap," went the lock, but his heart. He was first gradually re- ' forward march !—march ! I tell you— I the gun missed fire. " Try it again," dewed to reason, however, by the argil- ' , straight to home, or tarnation seize me, I says the Yankee. The duellist gritted ment of a lawyer in the company, who if I don't riddle you with buckshot ; be- I his teeth as he cocked it the second time. told him that if he killed the Yankee fore I can count three—one! two !"—the , Again he took aim and pulled the trig now, he would be liable to the punish- ' duellist did not wait for the next word; ger. " Snap," went the old rusty mus ment of a murderer, but that he might the angry voice was close behind him, I ket, with a duller sound than before.— shoot him on the field of honor without and the deep-mouthed blunderbuss with- , Now a phenomenon occurred. The getting himself into the fangs of the' in two yards of his back. He began to 1 wooden face of the Yankee was for once law. The duellist felt the force of the , march with slow and rather halting steps, I wrung into a smile, and some affirmed argument ; for in those days an honor- I very different from his usual strut.— that lie laughed, though others thought I able gentleman, in a title coat and ruffled I The Yankee followed with all gravity.— , that to be impossible. But the enraged [EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. WHOLE NO. 564. bully begun to ,4 smell the rat." He ex amined the capacious pan of the old fire lock. He found nothing in it but yel low snuff. He hastily turned the muz zle to his mouth and blew into it. The air whistled through the touchhole; the old musket was not charged ; the nine buckshot were imaginary. He threw down the harmless old iron with a yell of blasphemy, and ran up to his room, while shouts of laughter convulse.' the assembled multitude. Half an hour afterward, the chop fallen duellist was seen on his horse, trying to steal out of town by a back lane. He was pursued by hundreds, with claps and shouts of derision, till be galloped out of sight. The people of that town never again saw the face of Major Alonzo B ickerton, the duellist. .. Whither he went, and how he fared, Nobody knew—and nobody eared." A RELIC. When at Harrisburg a few days since, says the Carlisle Volunteer, we visited the State Library Rooms, and among other framed treasures which grace the l walls of that beautiful apartment, is a Jac simile of Dr. Franklin's letter to Mr. Stratum, the King's Printer, which per haps many of our readers have never seen. It was written in 1775, about the time when hostilities were commen cing between this and the mother coun try, and reads as follows : Philadelphia, July sth, 1775 Mn. STRAHAN:—You are a Member of Parliament, and one of that Majority which has doomed my Country to Des truction. You have begun to burn our Towns and murder our People. Look on your Hands ! They are stained with the Blood of your Relations ! You and I were long Friends. You are now my Enemy—and I am yours. B. FRANKLIN. Tom Hoyt has capitally said of certain teetotallers that they think they have a right to believe themselves beau ties simply because they are not beasts.