, \ ' ' Si i. ' • IIIMIMME111:1MMIIIMMIIIIM , ~.. ~ IMMIMI—NNETI3. —.— G 1 .. ..., 1 / 4. am. .I : M ms•ersrscr- -amanclrlarrowervaxra •- , uws ar •anwro ,, ' ,, rn . s --, T. 4b , !, , N 3 l'e ; t . 4. , , # ' • f • 7 e 4,'. 1 jramilg nrivopaper--Dcboteix to Crimea iintetttftenty, anctitiginfc, Votitico,attrature, Sioratit2, 24:1:71:e0,:inricutemr,nnumram 1 t, scc., &c. s Qralarics fib, Cit... eb. PUBLISHED BY THEODORE N, CREMER, RaociDuc.mfa,sz. The ...YouRNAL" will be published every Wed nesday morning, at $2 00 a year, if paid in advance, end if not paid within six months, $2 50. No subscription received for a shorter period than six months, nor any paper discontinued till all ar rearages are paid. Advertisements not exceeding one square, will he inserted three times for $1 00, and for every subse quent inserticn 25 cents. If no definite orders are given as to the time an advertisement is to be continu ed, it will be kept in till ordered out, and charged ac cordingly. , EANN NOTE LIST Rates of Discount in Philadelphia, Banks in Philadelplyidn Bank of North America - - par Wink of the Northern Liberties - par Bank of Penn Township - - par Commercial Bank of Penn'a. - par Farmers' & Mechanics' bank - - par Kensington bank - - par Schuylkill bank - - - - par Mechanics' bank - - - - par Philadelphia bank Par Southwark bank - - par Western back - - par Moyamensing bank - - - par Manufacturers' and Mechanics' bank par Bank of Pennsylvania - - - par Girard hank Nnk of the United States • Country 'tanks. ....... Bank of Chester cu. Westchester par Bank of Delaware co. Chester par Bank of Germantown Germantown par Bank of Moutg'ry co. Norristown par Doylestown bank Doylestown par Easton Bank Easton par 'Farmers' bk of Bucks co. Bristol par Bank of Northumberl'd Northumberland par Honesdale bank Honesdale 1 Varnters' bk of Lanc. Lancaster par Lancaster bank Lancaster par aticaster county bank Lancaster par bank of Pittsburg . Pittsburg '.'lerch'ts' & Manuf. bk. Pittsburg Exchange bank Pittsburg 4 Do. do. branch of Hollidaysburg 4 Col'a bk & bridge co. Columbia par Franklin bank Washington 13 Monongahela bk of B. Brownsville 13 Farmers' bk of Reading Reading par Lebanon bank Lebanon Bank of-Middletown Middletown 1 4 Carlisle bank Carlisle 1 Elie batik Erie 2 Bank of Chambersburg Chambersburg 1 Bank of Gettysburg Gettysburg 1 York bank York 1 Harrisburg bank Harrisburg 1 Miners' bk of Pottsville Pottsville Bank of Susquehanna co. Montrose 35 Farmers' & Drovers' bk Waynesborough 2 Bank of Lewistown Lewistown 13 Wyoming bank Wilkesbarre 13 Northampton bank Allentown no sale Brats county bank Reading no s'sle West Branch bank Williamsport li Towanda bank Towanda no st,le Rfites of Relief Notes. Northern Liberties, Delaware County, Far mers' Bank of Bucks, Germantown pact Berks Co. Bank - - - 50 All others HUNTINGDON CABINET & CHAIR WARE ROOM, Cunningham 44 llurchinell griDESPIiCTFULLY inform the citizens 48) of the borough and county of Hunting don, the public generally, and their old friends and customers in particular, that they continue to carry on busbies in their new establisment, one door east of the north eastern corner of the Diamond in said borough, where they are ',reproved to sell, wholesale and retail, all articles in their line of business; such as Sideboards, Seeretaiet, Sof. figs, Settees, Bureaus, orkstands, card, pier, centre dining and breakfast tables; High, Field., French, and Low Post BEDS T BADS. ALSO—Every variety of 1 C.liztuada%3o • such as Rualt seat, Cane•se«i, Bulb, Bent, Baltimore, Straight•back, Boston pattern 4. Common Rocking Chaim together with WWWll4.r3tal of all colors, qualities and sizes; and Paper Hanging of various patterns and qualities N. 11. Coffins made and funerals attend ed either in town or country, at the shortest notice. They keep a splendid HEARSE for the accommodation of their customers. Nov. 29, 1843. . . state of Isaac Vandevanderi Esq., (Late of ilialker tp. dee'd.) 0 ricE is hereby given that lettersot ' ' administration upon the said estate have been granted to the undersigned. All 4 pet sons having claims or demands against the same are requested to make them known without delay, and all persons indebted to make immediate payment to WM. VANDEVANDER, JOHN HOUSHOLDER, Jr. Adm'rs. Walker tp. , Nov. 6, 1844. 3. SEWELL sTEw.amir, hairaltaliatlif 112A174 BUIV7 INGD UN, P./1. , Office in Main street, three doors west of Mr. Buoy's Jewelry establishment. February 14, 1843.—U. 410 US I'ICES' Blanks of alt . kirals, for sale 11, i t this Office. Z) 0 KIRA? FOR 'SALE.—An old well improv,,(l farm etiiitaining amcD Crall.CJE) GE3 O with allowance, a large quantity of which is cleared and under good fence. The improve ments are a large and convenient dwelling house, t ;in story spring house, barn and other out buildings, with a never failing spring of water convenient, and an crchard of choice fruit. There is also a good lime kiln with abundance of lime stone and fuel. This property is handsomely located on the batik of iughwick crei k, Shirley township, Huntingdon county, and possesses many ad vantages in point of locality. Being distant from the borough of Shirleysburg only two miles from the canal three miles and a half, and immediately on the road from Shirleys burg, to Drake's ferry. There is also a first-rate merchant null on the property adjoining it. ALSO, 53 acres of woodland handsomely located nn Chesnut ridge, Shirley township, Huntingdon county. Apply soon to the subscriber nn the pre mises. LEWIS BERKSTRESSEH. January 13, 1845. Watches, Silver Ware 45- Jewelry James & Co:; No. 105 N. 2diSt., corner of Elfrith's Alley, Philadelphia. J. P. & en. continue temanufacture at their old stand, Silver Spoons, Spectacles, Thim bles &c. on as low terms as any other manu factory in the city. They have on hand and keep constantly for sale, beside their own manufactures, Watches ot all kinds & prices ; Silver Ware,Jewelry & Fancy Goods,tn their variety, which will be sold low. Spectacle Glasses fitted to all ages and sights, in Gold, Silver, German Silver and Steel Frames, with convex, concave, periscopic, blue, grey and green glasses. I7' Matchmakers supplied with all ne cessary articles in their line, such as Tools, Materials; Glasses &c. it 7 Mathes repaired at short notice and warranted to perform. trr Cash or exchange given for old Gold and Silver. Phil'Zbec. 11, 1844.-2 m: LIST OF LETTERS remaining in the Post Office at Alexandria, on the Ist Jan., 1845, which if not t: ken out within three months will be sent to the Post Office De partment as dead letters. Baker John Murrels 'Andrew Breneman Isaac Mayville Henry Dickey Susan Moyer Henry Davis John C. Pine Isaac Davis Samuel Plympton Elijah Fisher Mrs. Porter John 2 Focklet H. & J. Parmenter S. S. Gun Benjamin Spyker Samuel Green James Esq. Sauter Mr.—German. Houtz Daniel Stewart Alexander Houston M. L . Shively James Herren John B. Stout Mr. Hall Weston Shively Mary Johnston William Thomas David P. Ireland Judith Young George B. Ichingee John Yocum Samuel IC ennedy J. H, Wilson James Kaufman George Walker H. C. Martin Isaac Walker George M'Clure Andrew JOHN GEMMILL, P. M. Alexandria; Jan. 8, 1845. LIS I OF LEVIERS, which rentam in tl* Huntingdon Post Office, January Ist 1895. If not called for previous to the Ist of April next, they shall be sent to the Post Office Department at Washington. Bottontot John 2 M'Vey Michael Bottontot James Mirgrath Miss Emil'n Coder T. B. M'Willams Thomas Crull Augustus Murchorn John Diffenbacher A L. 2 Nu?; an Russel Dysar Joseph Nummer John Grubb Abrahain, jr. Patterson John Gray Miss Harriet Peppard Oliver Grubb E. &C. B. Ro,enhiem Abraham Heisler D. S. 'roman James Hight Charles Wood Samuel R. Lay George Weight Henry M'Gwire Catharine Witherow John M'Connell James DAVID SNARE, P. M. January 8, 1845. Estate of Lawrence Swoope, Late or Cass township, deceased. Notice is hereby given that letters of ad ministration upon the said estate have been granted to the undersigned. All persons having claims or demands against the same are requested to make them known without delay, and all persons indebted to make im mediate payment to CALEB SWOOPE, adner. Jan. 22, 1845.-6 t. Cass tp. ESTATE OF JAM ES TULLEY, Late of Barree township, Huntingdon county, deceased: OTICE is hereby given, that letters testamentary upon the said estate have been granted to the undersigned. All Per sons indebted to said estate are requested to make immediate payment, and those having claims or demands against the same are re quested to present them duly authenticated for settlement, to 4CNN TULLE?, / JOHN OAKS, txr's. November 20, 1844. Barree tp STRAY COW.—Strayed from the sub scriber, living in the borough of Alexandria, more than a month ago, a red and white spotted cow, with a white face, and a mark on one of her horns, nearly the shape of an 0. Said cow is near calving, or probably has calved by this time. Any information that could be given,'respecting said stray, would be thankfully received by the subscri ber. 'THOMAS macHELL. January 15,1845. 114 LANK BONDS to Constables for Stay EP" of Execution, , under the new law, just printed, and for sale, at this ofßce. POtTRT. "To charm the languid hours of solitude, He oft invites her to the Muses lore." Jeremiah Higgins' Courtship. Near Newtown dwelt a damsel fair, With rosy cheeks and dark brown And near her lived a hearty youth, The only son of mother Ruth, Tho maiden's name it was Kesiah, The youth was called Jeremiah; A prettier pair was never seen, In all them parts where I has been. Now Jeremiah, young and sly, On sweet Kesiah kept his eye ; At last he thought it hest,—says he. ~ I wonder if she would have me In Then Jeremiah, in his best, To put Kesiah to the test, Bight down he goes, clean shirt and shoes, To ask Kesiah how she does. Kesiah sot to hum alone, A wond'rin where the beaux was gone ; When Jeremiah walked right in, . . _ . . And frightened her so, it was a sin! He took a seat close by the winder, A great way off and right behind her, Says she, ' , you'd better draw your chair Close to the fire, you're freezin there !" I ain't pertickler,' Jerry said, But felt confused and hung his head, Oh, Jeremiah, what's the news, Pray tell me something to amuse?' , I hain't heard hothin' new of late, 'Xept Jimmy Hawkins broke our 'pie, .. . Our speckled cow has got a calf,' Then Jerry gare a chucklin' laugh. So there they sot, as mum as bricks, While Jerry whittled up two sticks; At last Kesiah did conclude That Jerry's conduct was too rude. She screamed right out ; Oh, let iris go ! How, Jerry can you treat me so V Up started Jerry in a fright, And stared at her with all his might. 'I ain'L a touchin you! ' he cried ; Well ain't you goite to then?' she sighed. Then Jeremiah took the joke, And laughed till he did almost choke. Next Sunday in the church was read, That Jeremiah melt to wed, Kesiah blushed am red as fire, And stole a look at Jeremiah. About nine months or a leetle arler, Biked Kesiah, she had a darter; This child so pleased the tender mother, That in one year she had another. From the Social Monitor. The Isrrini Think gently of the erring! Ye know not of the power With which the dark temptation came, In some unguarded hour. Ye may not know how earnestly They struggled, or how well, Until the hour of weakness came And sadly thus they fell. Think gently of the erring! Olt do not thou forget, However darkly stained by sin, He is thy brother yet. heir of the self-same heritage ! Child of the self-same God ! He bath but stutaled in the path, num host in weakness trod. Speak gently to the erring! For is it not enough That innocence anti peace have gone, Without thy censure rough 'I It sure must be a weary lot That sin-crushed heart to bear, And they who share a happier fate, Their chidings well may spare. Speak kindly to the erring ! Thou yet mayst lead them hack, With holy words and tones of love, From misery's thorny track. Forget not thou hast often sinned, And sinful yet must he,— Deal gently with the erring one As God hath dealt with thee ! kt:COML:i.B.I\TMOTTEI. A Detour one.—The brightest little chap for hie size and age, that we ever saw, was one whom we lately came across, torturing tadpoles in a spring upon a road side in New Jersey—altogether out of sight and hearing' of any human habitation. Where do you live my son?' inquired we, just as he had stirred up a big bull frog from the mud with a mullen stalk. I don't live nowhere only home.' Where is your home Over the hill next house to Mr. Wagner's.' Have you parenis living What's them I' I mean have you a father and a mother?' Yes sir, but papa's went dead a good while, and mother says she won't stand it, 'cause it's too hard work.' What work does your mother do Milks the cow, and all sorts of things.' 'ls your mother a pious woman—a good Chris tianl' No sir—she's a Dutchman.' Here the little genius went to stirring up frogs again, as much as to say, , don't disturb me with farther interrogations'—and we left hint.—N. Y. Mercury, HonlczD Fans' (alive) have been sent to the National Institute from Galveston, Tent. From Graham's Magazine for February, THE CHEF'S DAUGHTER. Strange that powerful states should sometimes direct all their mighty energy against a eimple indi vidual, whore weakness should be a protection!— Strange that civili zed men raise a JuggernaM to crush 'a butterfly ! Strange that the shrinking wild-floWer of its own native green-wood, the timid bud unfolded by the hearth-stone of an American savage, striking its roots down into hisstrong heart, and caring for no other soil, could not escape the calculating eye of a great and refined nation ! Thurensera,the beautiful Day-Dawn, the daughter of the noblest sachem among all the Iroquois, the proud, peerless princess of the wilderness, whom the chivalry of the United Nations delighted to to honor, to be duped at last! Ay ! such is the fate of beauty'and royalty ; and the Indian maiden was far from being an isolated victim. In the glit tering suite of Queen Anne, in the luqurious pala ces of Louis, in the courts of Spain and Italy, and among the republican aristocracy of Germany,' wherever power dwelt, wherever a field of intrigue existed, hardened men, and hardened women too, wets making throbbing hearts the stepping stones to their projects. It was the influence of Col. Schuyler alCne that bomul the Fiy . e Nations to the English colonies, at a time when her majesty's dominions on this side of the water owed their entire safety to these power ful allies. It therefore became a serious study with the French how to counteract this influence, and no means were left umemployed. Agents, under mining and entrapping, were sent out in every di rection; and while they were namely regarded as " birds that sing falsely," sometimes they met with transient success that encouraged renewed effort.— 'rho consideration which Father Le Moyne gained among the Onondagas is a matter of history; but Jesuitism wile not the only lever which it was thought proper to place beneath the integrity of the Iroquois. Avarice, ambition, love—all the human passions which become such powerful weapons in the hands of fire diplomatic courtier—were here employed, and if less unsuccessfully the fault was to be attributed to the unpliant material, rather than to the crafty and zealous workmen. ItunatiNof fie siondt.fel beauty of Tharensera (the only child of an influential sachem, who had accompanied Col Schuyler to England, and return ed drunk with the splendor he had witnessed,) had reached the French Provinces; and it had also been told that the child grew so closely to her fuller's heart as to close up every other avenue. Thuren sera, too, loved the English; for the immaculate " Guider" was her sponsoi, and the ladies of the English court had not forgotten the beautiful Indian princess in the presents with which they had loa ded the chieftains on their return. It was therefore no slight undertaking to attempt to bind the forest brave by a chain that was to roach through his child's heart, when that child was already prepos sessed in favor of another nation and another peo ple. But magnificent promises were made to him who should accomplish the project, which, together with hints concerning the power of the Pope over matrimonial shackles, induced a dessolate young nobleman, in want of means to repair his shattered fortune, to set about the expe dition. Du Valle was no indifferent Lothario ; even among the fair dames of civilized Europa he had been flattered and caressed; and, he had once had just enough of honor to learn its language, and was now too entirely divested of it to be troubled with any useless scrupulosites, the young Day Dawtt could scarce have had a more dangerous wooer.— He met her fleet in her native a - coeds, and laid his tribute game at her feet. "-gain he saw her, and, notwithstanding her shyness, he managed to stay beside her long enough to weave a wreath of wild flowers, though he was net allowed to place it on her head. But the wily Frenchman lingered in a neighboring copse to see it ari;uated among her black braider by her own hands; and to see with what an sir of untaught coquetery she turned from the mirror of :he river, and tripped -way like a ° lad bird to her thicket. At a third meeting he had a bubble for her arm more beautiful than any she possessed; and when he saw her hide it carefully beneath v. strip of wampum his eyes sparkled, for he knew by this that his safety was cared for, and, better still, that the Indian maiden had a secret from her father and the paternal Lot:ander. And now the Frenchman sped rapidly in his wooing. They had but few words in common, but they cons rrsed by more dangerous signals. When in a humor particularly idle, the Frank would sit for hours upon the grass, a subtle language to every flower, , and a peculiar hidden meaning to each bird note, and talking of the mysterious intercommunien of the spirit of the breeze with the Spirit of the wood land, and the strange influence of these subtle ea- Bences over the thoughts of men, while the large astonished eyes of the maiden were now named to his in earnest heedfulness, and now drooped con fusedly beneath a meaning glance, which gave the love she was drinking in a personal application. The Day-Dawn had but one confident, (a young girl that was with her when she first met Du Valle,) and this was worse than none, for Ertel was a ro mancer of the wildest order. She not only encour aged the sachem's daughter in her first deception, but devoted her little ingenious head to promoting in every way what she considered an amusing ad venture which promised to end in nothing more unpleasant than a wedding. So time proceed. Du Valle had now but little doubt of moue, for he had felt, as far as he was capable of feeling any thing, the fascinating influence of the sloe-eyed maiden, and he believed that the hatted cf the old warrior for his nation must yeild to her soft subduer) pleadinge. The moon had risen end was silvering the crowns of the old trees that had waved for centuries within sound of the Hudson's murmur, and bath ing the hanks, and casting upon the river points cf light that danced on the crisping waves live watery spirits come out fcr a summer night's revel. The wild duck had nestled down among the sedges, with its head behind its wing ; the partridge had ceased its drumming in the wood, and gone to its nest in quiet ; the songsters of the day were hushed, and the woedman's axe end the huntsman's rifle no longer challenged the echoes) with their sharp, shrill voices. The sturgeon now and then leaped up at the shivered tip of S moon-ray; dropping back large silver beads upon the wave, and the owl hoot ed triumphantly from the distant buttlement of his own oaken castle, as if proud consciousness of the dignity of thus reigning solitary sovereign of the night. There was a step within the shadow of the woodland—a light, hurried step like the hounding of a fawn, venturing timidly from its covert, and a scarce perceptible stirring of foliage, making a faint rustle that, sacred at its own self, died instantly away. And then a slender createre, airy, and graceful( as a young antelope, Pinang out into the moonlight and stood lightly poised with one foot advanced, resting on its tip, head bent forward, and lips parted in eager breathlessness. Her right arm, gleaming with jewels, lay across her breast, half buried in the folds of a crimson mantle fringed with silver, while the left wus raised, the fore-finger slightly curved, and the others nettled in the yield ing palm. In her diluted eye there was a strong !kind light, and on her cheek a rich heart•wrought coloring unmistakable by the most casual observer. There she stood in her glorious beauty—that forest queen—her very heart hushed, if pereltance her quick ear might catch the dip of the tratorious Frenchman's oar. It came nut, and the maiden still extended her slight elven-like neck, and still peered eagerly up the river, to where an abrupt break in the moonlight, cast all the 'vest in shadow. Suddenly her initiated car seemed to have caught a sound, for her eye flashed joyously, and her parted lips were wreathed in smiles. Then dropping on one knee, she bent her ear to the ground, until the small ruby-tipped arrow that confuted her glossy braids, was jewelled over with dew drops. Tide was enough. He was coining—and, epringing to her feet with a smothered exclamation of delight, the Indian maiden clapped her hands joyously, and darted hack to her covert. In a moment, however, she returned, and, kneeling by the river's brink, gazed down into the livid mirror, Sinned and nod ded gaily to the beautiful vision that looked up and smiled and noded back again, us though the And , owy thing could appreciate the tumult within, that was the key-stone to all the movements of its earth born twin. The plume that feathered Ler arrow had been bent, and her hand was now raised to straighten it—the heavy midnight braids binding her fine head, were smoothered and carefully adjus ted, and site opened and half closed her eyes, again and again, and minded to mark how lovely they were with the lips drooping over them, as she knew the intensity of his gaze always retake it droop, when her white lover was near. Then her hand was pas. , 1 sed over her full round arm, re-touching the curve of the beaded wrist with true girlish vanity, and her small moccasined foot was thrust fora moment from beneath the silver friege, while she clasped the bracelet mote firmly on the taper ancie—her atten tion all the while divided between herself and a dark speck that seemed suspended just above the water at a distance. It drew nearer, and Thur.:n ears, casting o parting glance upon her rustic mir ror, hastily retired, as though too proud to be found waiting. At length the light canoe looped Lpon the sand, and its occupant, epringing upon the moonlit brink, proceeded leisurely to tie it to a tree, lookir.g about him as he did 80, as though disappointed at ' not seeing her ho sought. 'lf she 'Mould play me fslise after all this trouble, ke mutered, ' by all the powers of hell—' He started. Ha! my pretty doe, -.rt here?' and flinging hie mantle and chapeau into a clump of bushes, ho led the half timid, half delighted girl to a seat on the smooth, mossy bank which she bad but a moment before occupied. Long and low was the conference, relating evidently to the old chief's prejudices, and the best mode of eradicating them. Sometimes, at en ungtiarded word from the young Frank, the bosom of the Indian girl would swell, and her eves brim over; but he had the power of soothing instat.taneously ; and, before a tear had time to (hop, it was stayed by the smile that came 'to thank hie slightest attention. An hour went by, and the altadows were deepened on the bank, aid the moon had passed behind a cluster of clouds, leaving the river in entire darkness. Two or three times Thurensera had bent her ear to the ground, when of a sudden the started to her feet, her hands clenched, and her largo eyes gleaming with intense fear. Before she had time to shape her apprehen sions into words, there was a quick crackling in the brittle underbush, and Ertel sprang upon the bank. every limb quivering and terror depicted on every feature. Fly! fly ! The Hese has been a snake in the lodge of the Day Dawn. Her tongue was stolen away while she slept, and a cloud of warriors are seeking for tire blue-eyed roebuck of the north." Fly ! fly !' repeated Thurensera, as the poor girl darted away in azt opposite direetioit, • it is eight \S#,P'aUQ9UCS) fI QS). 4ci/613,:: upon the waters, for the Great Spirit I spread his wing before the moon.' For the first time probably since boyhood, a gen erous sentiment found its way into the heart of Du Valle, even after the trembling fingers of the girl bud united the cord that fastened his canoe. Nay, take the paddle thyself, my pretty doe, keep close to the bank, and I will plunge into the forest, double on our pursuers, and meet the above. Go! go!' and he attempted to lift her into the ca noe. But Thurensera shook his hand,from her shoulder and drew back impatiently. The light tread upon the:ground, and the rustling of leaves above, convinced i her that their pursuers were close upon them!;'and, assuring him by a single word of her safety, she pointed at the canoe and leaped into the thicket, just as an arrow whizzed through till air and spent itself upon j thewater. nither an‘ another followed; but the maiden caught a glimpse 'of theilittle canoe glidin4close to the bank, under the shadow of the trees, and she knew that her lover was yet undiscovered. For a moment now the party paused and held a hasty consultation. It was believed that' theyrenchman:hto escaped;9 at'7:d if they at once proceeded up the river they might in tercept him. As the maiden comprehended their intention, a cry of horror burst from her lips; and before one could interpret its meaning, or discover its source, her resolution was taken. Wrapping the mantle of her lover, which yet !lay in the thicket , about her, anti placing the chapeau upon her head, 'she stepped out from her concealment, and stood close upon the verge of the river, the mark for a dozen arrows. Instantly every bow was bent, a shaft from every string went quivering through the air, and the chieftain's daughter sank beneath the waters of the Hudson—not forever. In the morn ing a lifeless body was found drifted upon the sand, with the cloak of the Frenchman still about it, pin ned by an arrow to the heart. By personating her lover, the generous; girl had prevented a pursuit which must have proved fatal ; but in her sacrifice she wrecked another. The brave old sachem never again looked up as he had been wont to look; and 'ere nine moons had mined they seated him in his grave, and slew beside it the steed that was to bear hint to the spirit and. ATTENTION THE WHOLE.-A major of the mili tia, somewhere in Pennsylvania, who had recently been elected, and who was not overburthened with brains, took it into his head on the morning of the parade, to get out and exercises little by himself. The , field' selected for the purpose was his own stoop. Placing himself in a military attitude, with his sword drawn, he exclaimed— , Attention the whole!—Rear rank, three paces march!' and he tumbled into the cellar. • . • • . . His wife, hearing the noise occasioned in came running out, and asked— My dear have you killed yourself?' Go into rho house, woman,' said the major; what do you 'Mow abotit war ?' A% Ton A CrIMUMISTANCE.—‘ Pete I want to ax you a circumstance?' , Make a brake, nigger.' d Why is a niggers head like a United States Omnibus? Does you wive him up 1' , Would% do nothin' else.' 'Cause dey carry passengers outside.' Hr. Nigga, die will mortalize you.' The Oldest Inhabitant,', that much talked of individual, has been discovered at last. An elderly chap, speaking of his great knowledge of the wes tern country the other day, said that he had known the mississippi river, ever since it was a small creek 1' lle's the man. A DISTINCTION WITHOUT ♦ DIFFERENCE.— .D id you whip Margcret Durfer l' said the Deputy attorney General to an Etheopean lady in the pri soners' dock. No, sir,' was the reply. Did you coinmit c a assault and battery on her then l' .No sir, /eta der head.' igserwa ♦ Ssurr-Box WAr.w.--As Pat Hogan Gat enjoying his connubial bliss upon the banks of a southern creek, he espied a turtle emerging from the stream. Och hone!' he exclaimed solemnli, ' thi.t ivir I should come to America to sco a snuff box walk. Whist!' said his wife, don't be after making fun of the bird. You CAN'T sTop 'Ex.—The Buffolonian says he would as soon try to go to sea on a shingle, make a ladder of Fog, chase a streak of lightning through a crab apple orchard, swim the rapid. of Niagara river, rai,c the dead, stop the tongue of woman, or set Lek, Erie on fire with Lucifer matches, as to atop two young 'uns from getting married when thoytake it in their heads to do 00. cO. A practicing attorney, some years age, hap pened while arguing a question of some difficulty, to illustrate a point in his case by a pretty free use of the vocabularly of the card-table. The presiding judge abruptly enquired what he meant by addres sing such language to the courts' I meant, your honor; to be understood,' was the reply. Goon.—A girl was presented to Jame. 1., an an English prodigy, because she was deeply learned. The person who introduced her boasted of her pro ficiency in ancient languages. I can assure your majesty,' said he, that she can both speak and write Latin, Greek and Hebrew. These are rare attainments for a damsel,' said James; 'but pea! tell ma, sun she spin.'