IIMI)G1)0) JOURNAL.
Oct otrZt to Crurrat *Mrlltarurr, Strinyttotits, Vottttro, TUteritturr, VAoratitg, Ztrto, s:Dricncro, OgrEruttitre, Mitmentettt, &c., kr.
`Q7CI:Da. 'CD` n r-r.aas, CIDc. eaeb.
PUBLISHED ET
THEODORE H, CREMER,
'f.J." JP as. Uali 6t3
The "Jot - ttal." will he published every Wed
nesday morning, at 02 00 a year, if paid in a d eanee ,
and if not paid within six months, $2 50.
No subseriptim received for a shorter period thnn
oil months, nor any paper discontinued till all or
rearages are paid.
Advertisements not exceeding one square, will be
inserted three times for $1 00, and for every subse
quent insertion 25 cents. If no definite orders are
given as to the time an advertisement is to be continu
ed, it will be kept in till ordered out, sod charged ac
cordingly.
PTO INVALIDS—ipo
How important it is that v.', clmlnlenCe
without loss of time with BR ANDRETH •
PILLS. They mildly but surely remove al!
impurities from the blood, and no case of
sickness can effect the human frame, that
these celebrated Pills donut relieve as notch
no medicine can do. Cons and COUGHS
are more benetiitted by the Brandreth Pills
than by Lozenges and Candies. Very well,
perhaps, as palliitives, but worth nothing as
ERADICAToRS of diseases from the human
system. The Brandreth Pills cure, they do
not merely relive, they cure. Diseases,
whether chronic. or recent, intectious or oth
erwise, will certainly be cured by the use of
these all-sufficient Pills.
CURE OF A CANCEROUS SORE.
SING SING, Janu Icy 21, 1843.
Dn. BENJAMIN BRANDHETII:
Honored Sir,—
Owing to you a debt of gratitude that mo
ney cannot pay. I am induced to n-ike a •
public acknowledgment of the benefit my
wife has derived from your invaluable
About three years this winter she was taken
with a pain in her acle; which soon became
•ere much inflamed, and swollen, so m telt
that we became much alarmed, and sent
for the doctor. During his attendance the
pain and swelling increased to an alarming
degree, and in three weeks from its first
commencing it became a running sore. bile
could get no rest at night the pain was so
_great. Our first doctor attended her for six
months, and she received no benefit what
ever, the pain growing worse and the sore
larger all the time. He said if it was !touted
sip it would be her death, but he appeared
to be at a loss how to proceed, and my poor
wife still cnnt mued to suffer the most terrible
tortures. We therefore sought other aid,
in a Batarmloal doctor, who said when lie
first saw it that he could soon cure the sore
and give her ease at once. To our surprise
he gave tier no relief, and acknowledged that
it Tide baffled all his
Tints we felt atter having tried during one
whole year the experience of two celebrated
physicians in vain, in absolute despair. My
poor wife's constitution rapidly failing in
the primt: of her years (rein her continued
suffettag• Under these circumstances we
concluded that we would try your Universal
Vegetable Pills, determined to fairly test
their curative effects. To my site's great
comfort the first few doses afforded great re
lief of the pain. Within one week to the
astonishment of onrselves and every one who
knew the case, the swelling and the infla
mation began to cease so that she felt quite
easy, and would sleep comfortable, and sir,
after six weeks' use she was able to go giro'
the house and again attend to the manage-'
molt of her family, which she had not done
for nearly fourteen months. In a little over
two months from the time she first commen
ced the use of vial'. invaluable Pills her uncle
was quite sound, and her health better than
it had been in quite a number of years be
fore. 1 send you thin statement atter two
years test of the cure, considering it only an
sict of justice to you awl the public it large.
I,Ve are with much gratitude,
Very tespectfolly;
r try & ELIZA A. LITTLE.
ps.—The Botanical Doctor pronounced
the sore cancerous, and finally said no good
could be done, unless the whole of the flesh
-was cut off and the hone scraped. Thank a
kind Providence, this made us resort to yoer
Pills, which saved us from all further mis
ery, and for which we hope to be thankful.
T. &E. A. L.
Dr. Brandreth's Pills arc for sale by the
f o llowing Agents in Huntingdon county.
Thomas Read, Ilutingdon.
Wm. Stewart, Huntingdon.
A. & N. Cremswell, Petersburg.
Mary W. Neff, Alexandria,
Joseph Patton, Jr. 1) incansviile.
Hartman & Smith, Manor Hill.
S. Miles Green & Co. Barree Forge,
Thomas Owens, Birmingham.
A. Patterson, Williamsburg.
Peter Good, Jr. Canoe ('reek,
John Luta, Shirle!,,burg.
Observe e.ich of Dr. Bredreth's Agents
have an engraved certificate of Agency.—
Exnmine this and you will flint the NEW
LABLES upon the certificate corresponding
with those on the Boxes, none other are gen
nine.
B. BRANDRETH, M. D.
Vhil'a. Office S. North Bth St.-Iy.
LlPuz<EDLEDcbszeallsz
viLi. be received up to the 25th day of
December next, by the'ltustees of
the Huntingdon Congregation of the Presbyte
rian Church, for building a Presbyterian
Church in the borough of Huntingdon.
A plan and speci fi cations will he exhibited
by Niaj. David M'Murtrie, Cal. John Cress
well and William Dorris at any time atter
the Ist day of December next, to whom also
bids can be directed.
I OffN KER.
JNO. G MILES.
THOMAS FISHER,
JNO. CRESSWELL,
JNO. GLAZIER,
GEORGE TAYLOR,
THos. P. CAMPBELL,
Nov. 1, 1843. Trustees.
TA In A VIIMILEII3
sITTOR.VE V AT Ida W.
HUNTINGDON, PA.
1 ` 1t I:Pen. g , N:3011);X3F1313E1 sa saa, laai343ci3,
IZIFIVM:aidANMO7I3.
Prom Me Democratic Review, for November.
SLYDER DOW NEHYLLE
A SEARCH AFTER HAPPINESS,
BE ZOREPR C. NEAL,
Author of Charcoal Sketches," 4c.
How happy I'll be to-morrow!' exclaimed little
Slyder Downehylle, in anticipation of Christman;
how happy I shall he to-morrow !'
Couldn't you contrive to be happy a little now?'
replied Uncle John, who load learned somewhat to
distrust anticipation and its gorgeous promises.
Happy now, Uncle John !' retorted little Slyder
Dowenhylle, rather contemptuously, 'happy now !
with what, I should like to know—what shall I be
happy with--now Where's the candy, the cakes,
the pies—where is the hobby-horse that somebody's
going to give ine—and all the Christmas gifts?—
How I wish to-morrow had come—what a long day
—what a long evening—what a great while I have
to sleep!'
Little Slyder Downehylle became quite cross, and
Uncle John whistled. Twenty-four hours after
wards, little Slyder Downehylle was still more cross
—lre had been happy with candy, with cakes and
with pies, until he wan very uncomfortable indeed ;
he had been happy with toys, until he had quarrelled
with his little companions and strewed the room
with broken playthings; he had been happy with
his hobby-horse, until he got a full.
Oh, what a stupid day !' said little Slyder
Downehylle, I wish to-morrow would come--I'll
be so happy at aunt Betsey's.'
It is unnecessary to intrude at aunt Betsey's, for
the events there were of a character strongly resem
bling what had already occurred. Little Slyder
Downehylle went to bed in tears.
It was always so with the unfortunate Slyder
Downehylle. Throughout life, he wanted something
to he happy with ; and, strangely enough, it univer
sally occurred that when he had obtained the thing,
it did not prove to be exactly the thing he wanted.
His expectations were never realized, and he was,
therefore, constantly in a state of disappointment.
Unlucky Slyder Downehylle! It was deplorable
too that euch should be the case, for Slyder Downe
hylle wen ....tom, to be snappy — . o 111, vov.".acd
forward to be happy—for something 'to be happy
with.' He never got up in the morning but that it
was his resolve to he happy in the afternoon—and
if not successful in accomplishing his purpose at
that time, he endeavored no far as possible to retrieve
the failure by forming a similar determination for
the evening. No one ever load a greater variety of
scheme for living happy—very happy—than he;
for living happy next week, for living happy next
month, or next year; but it appeared that a malig
nant fate was sure to interfere, in order that his
projects might be frustrated. At school, he was
always thinking how happy he would be on Satur
day afternoon; but then sometimes it rained on
Saturday afternoon, or his companions would not
do as he wished them to do on Saturday afternoon,
or it may he that although he had toiled hard for
pleasure on Saturday afternoon, and the toil for
Pleasure is often the severest of work, he returned
home weary, dispirited, and out of trooper. Of
course it was unavoidable that Iris pleasure should
be postponed until some other Saturday afternoon.
And it was even so with the larger holladays.—
They never were exactly what they ought to have
been—what they promised to be--what they scorned
to be, when viewed from a distance. If Slyder
Downehylle went a fishing, why a treacherous
hank would often give way, and then—pray who
can possibly be happy when dripping wet, with his
clothes on! Nobody but poodles. What felicity
is there in loosing one's shoe in a swamp ? Who
is perfectly happy when scouring across a plain,
like swift Camilla,' with old Jenkins' big dog—
that dog always bites—rustic dogs do—following
close at his heels, widely opening mouth which
showed no need of the dentist? Then, if Slyder
Downehylle went skating, it not unfrequently hap
petted that he cried With cold,—what a strange ar
gument it is not to have the best skating on the
wannest days! At other seasons there was the
sun. It never rains but it pours, in this world. Is
it happiness, think ye, to have one's dear little nose
—incipient Roman, or determined pug, as the case
may be—all of a blister, to have ones delectable
countenance as red and as a scarlet fever? 'There's
lime in the sack'—invariably, in Slyder Dowehy Ile's
sack--it would be easy to make mortar of it.
The young Downehylle, finding that happiness
eluded his grasp while a boy, made sure of throwing
a noose over its head when he should be a man.
What on earth is there to prevent a man's being
happy, if he chooses—especially if a man has mon
ey, as was the case in the present instance, Uncle
John and Aunt Betsey both being gathered to their
fathers and mothers. May not a man do as he
pleases?—go to bed when he pleases, and get up
when he pleases?—eat what he pleases and drink
what he pleases ? A man is riot compelled to learn
lessons. All his afternoons areSaturility afternoons
—his hollidays last all the year round. Who
would not he a man 1 ' Oh, when I am a man!'
said Slyder Downehylle. I wish was a man !'
exclaimed Slyder Downehylle. I want to be a
man !' cried Slyder Downehylle with impatience.
Sooner or later, at least in the eye of the law,
• most boys become men, in despite of remonstrance.
These boys are remarkable for an upstart tendency,
and the Downehylles themselves are not exempt
from the peculiarity. So Slyder Downrh) Ile was a
man at last, though on the whole it must he confess
ed that he did not derive the satisfaction from it
that he had been led to expect.
..... • •
Slyder Downehylle was extended a full length
upon a sofa.
say ; Spifflikens, what shall I be at ? I'm twen
ty-one—l've got plenty of money—l'm as tired as
thunder already—what shall I be at Spifflikensr
Lend me a hundred, and buy yourself a buggy,
why don't you get a buggy to begin with
Yes, Spifflikens, I will. You'r right—the
Downehylle's were always great on buggies you
know, Spifflikens.'
It was Slyder Downehylle's theory, after this
conversation,— for he often theorized—that happi
ness was, to some degree, vehicular; that like re
spectability, it was to be found in a gig, if it were
to be found anywhere. So he bought him a sulky
and fast trotter—a mile in two minutes or therea
bouts. What could escape a man that followed so
rapidly ? If you wish to he successful in the pur
suit of happiness, da not forget to buy a sulky—
there's nothing like a sulky.
• Ahal—that's it !' muttered Slyder Downehylle,
as he tugged at the reins, and went whizzing along
the turnpike in a cloud of dust, passing everything
on the road, and carrying consternation among the
pigs, the ducks, and all chikens.
Slyder thought that this was it' for several con
secutive days ; but as the novelty wore off—there's
the rub—(that Hamlet was rather a sensible fellow
—did he too keep a fast trotter 1') Shyster was
not so sure whether it woo the thing exactly, and on
the recommendation of his friend Spifflikens who
borrowed another hundred on the occasion, he en
deavored to improve it a little by drinking cham
pagne and playing billards, at the Cottage.' Fast
trotters and billiards, harmonize very well. tinder
this combination. Slyder appeared to think that 'it'
was considerably more like the thing than before.
lie had found something to be happy with,' at last,
and so had Spifflikens. It was not however so dif
ficult to make Spiffy a happpy mum—only allow
me to go ahead, and say nothing about returns.'
He hates any thing somlrre--any thing 'dun.'
'Now I'm happy,' said Slyder Downehylle, as he
stood on the portico of the Cottage,' and saw every
eye fixed with admiration on his estahroovuost a•
the noy test his horses and sulky through the crowd
of vellides. 'That's it, at last!' and and he lighted
another cigar and called for an additional bottle of
I iced champagne. "Flies it, certainly,' remarked
Spifflikens, at the explosion of the cork.
Slyder Downehylle was perfectly satisfied that
I this was indeed 'it,' for a considerable portion of the
afternoon, and to tell the truth, when he remounted
hie buggy, nodding Isis head to the bystanders, as he
hung his coat-tail over the back of tho vehicle, he
was not a little elevated.'
"fliers—let him go!' said he tossing a half dol
lar to the hostler's deputy.
Mr. Downehylle's sulky flew like lightning across
the lawn.
Splendid !' ejaculated the spectators.
Superiaw—fme !' added Spiffiikens.
The dogs barked—the colored gentlemen who
officiated as waiters grinned from car to ear. There
was quite a sensation at the 'Cottage.'
That' it, at last!' said Slyder Downehylle, tri
umphantly. But he forgot that existence, short as
it is, cannot be crowded all into the exhilarating
moment of a start.' Life is not to be distilled and
condensed in this way, though his life seemed to
come as near it as possible, on the occasion refer
, red to.
Why are wr, made, ambitioug Why will we
endeavor to jump over puddles that are too wide,
when we so often miss immortality by no more than
a hair's breadth 1 But touch and go' is the secret
of great enterprises. Slyder Downehylle was struck
with a desire to sublimate the sublime—to o'ertop
old Pelion.' and old Pelion, as it was natural he should
resented the insult. Downehylle was allowed to
touch'—we often do that—but there was a veto
on his go.' He wished to shave the gate-post, in
his curricular enthusiasm—to astonish the natives
with his charioteering skill. Yet the poplars might
have reminded him of the Phaeton—of Phteeton's
sisters, weeping, lank and long.
It certainly was the champagne—that last bottle
so well iced.
Mr. Downehylle was out in hie calculation about
the sixteenth part of an inch. Ho was on a lee
shore.
A cloud of splinters went up and came down
again. There is but a Frenchman the more in
France,' said a Bourbon on the restoration. It was
also quite evident that there was a sulky the less in
existence. As this could not bo considered the
'fast trotter's' business,—he having no further con
cern with the matter titan to do a certain number of
miles in a specific number of minutes—he therefore
went straight on to fulfil his part of the contract,
and it is to be presumed that he was successful, as
nothing has been heard front him since.
That's not it, after all,' murmured Mr. Slyder
Downehylle, as he was carried into the Cottage for
surgical aid.
The bystanders, lately so full of admiration, un
graciously placed their thumbs upon their noses,
and waggles! their fingers. Greatness always falls,
when it meets with an upset.
' What could you expect from a fellow that holds
his elbows so when ho drives was the general re
mark. When we arc down every one can sec the
reason why. The world is always full of sagacity,
after the event.
s.lyder Downehylle is known by the colored WBi.
ter. at the Cottage as •gemplin that got spilt,' and
he wan so knocked down by the affair that he felt
flat at the tightest allusion to it. He never hunted
happiness in a buggy again, hut went slowly home
in the omnibus, and, though it did not enable hint
to journey very rapidly. he yet contrived, while in
it, to arrive at the conclusion that, if ' fast trotters'
carried others to felicity, the mode of travel was too
rough for him.
He was puzzled. What could be the matter
He was a man, a man of cosh—money in both
pockets; but yet Slyder Downehylle was not hap
py—not particularly happy. On the contrary,
striking an average, he was, for the most part, deci
dedly miserable. He yawned about ali the morn
ing; he was not hungry in the afternoon ; lie was
eeld,im sleepy at night—vexatious!
l'here'a something I want,' thought Slyder
Downehylle; 'but what is it—that's more than I
can tell; but it is something to he happy with.
What other people get for the purpose that they go
grinning about so, hang me if I can discover.'
Slyder Downehylle was rather good looking,
about these times —not decidedly a love,' but well
enough ; and so, as nature had been propicious, he
attack out a new line—a very popular line—the
hair line. Ito cultivated whiskers, fringed the
base of his eiiiuntenance ;' he set up moustache; he
starred his under lip with an imperial, and hebal
anced the superstructure with the classical goatee!'
Medusa herself never had more luxuriant curls.
When Slyder Downetlylle wanted to find himself, he
was obliged to beat the bushes. He passed half
the day with a brush in his hand, in adjusting his
embellishments—in giving them the irresistahle ex-
preteion; and the rest of the time was consumed in'
carrying them up and down all manner of streets,
and to all soils of public places, Slyder Downe
hylle was now the envy of the young bloods about
town, and was regarded as a perfect Cupid° n by
the :attics. How, indeed, could it he otherwise !
Biniam Wood had come to Dunsinane— not a felt
tine was discernable. Esan and Orson were shave
lidgs and shavers to Slyder Downehylle. But not
withstanding the fact that Samson found strength
in Ida hair, Slyder was not so lucky. A thickest
hedge cannot keep out ennui. It is true that the
huff& and the bison at the menagerie took Mr.
from the head waters of Oregon; yet, after all Sly
der's spirit was nearly as bald of comfort as the 'hair
less horse'—that unfashionable quadruped. it must
lie confessed, however, that there were gleams of
consolation attendant upon his bristly condition.
Tire servants at the hotels styled him mounsheer ;
how delightful it is to be mistaken for what yeti are
not! People thought he talked pretty good English,
considerin,' and best of all, tire little boys ran back
wards that they might look with wonder at his face,
while the smaller children went screaming,into the
house to call their mammas to see the • funny thing.'
But " false is the light on glory's plume; and it is
no less false on glory's hair. Even the excitement
of such enviable distinction as this soon wears
away, arid it may be questioned whether, barring
the expenses of soap, a furryfaced gentleman is, in
' the long run, much happier than the more sober
citizen who has so little taste for the picturesque as
to Shave seve rill times a week, and who is neither a
'fondling of the forest' nor a precunbulatory Moses;
always among the bulrushes.
Slyder Downehylle, therefore, reinforced his whis
kers by nn elaborate care in dress. He was padded
into a moddel of symmetry ; but although the buck
ram was judiciously placed, he soon ascertained that
this was not the kind of bolstering he wanted.—
The cotton made him warm, but it did not make
him happy—not quite. it was nothing to be thus,'
unless one were :safely thus.' Slyder Downeliylle
began to feel small when his muscular developenrents
were hung upon the bedpost. Which was Slydei,
lin the main—lie beneath the cover, or that larger
part of him against the wall He was tired of
packing and unpacking; wearied with being spec
! teenier.'
It was not exactly kind in Uncle John and Aunt
Betsy—though they thought it was—thus to be
queath their savings to Slydcr Downehylle. t rheir
legacy perplexed him sadly. He discovered, in a
very short time, that money is not in itself—notwith
standing the fact that it is generally known as the
'one thing needful'—the material of happiness.—
But he was clear in his own mind, that it was some
thing to he got with money. Still however, he
could not find it—that something to he happy
with—that cake, that candy, that sugar-ice, that
hobby-horse. When his game was run down, why,
it was only a fox after all.
Life's an imposition—a humbug,' and Styria
Downehylle, pettishly; I've tried much of the fun
that's said to be in it, and I'm beginning to have an
idea it's a confounded stupid piece of business, when
a man has seen it pretty much all through, like a
farce at the theatre. I'm sure I don't know what
to be at next. There's a man to be hung to-mor
row; but I've seen two or three fellows hung, and
they do it just alike. The fun is soon got out of
that. Then there's to be a tight somewhere this
afternoon; but what's a fight, or a race, or anything,
in short I A spree is to come off to night at Orin.
kiiincrancum's, but I suppose everything's to travel
down our throats in the old way—botheration !'
You should go it,' remarked Spitilikens, go tt
stronrs—that's the way to scatter the blue devils; go
it strong; and as the poet judiciously remarks, go
it while you're young.' Fhat's the time—lend nic
fifty, and I'll show you a thing or two—there are
several things to be ,Pll yet, by individuals who
don't wear spectacles. This is good brandy, Sly
der—prime brandy—where did it come from ?
Have you got any more? Brandy's wholesome.
It agrees with almost everybody.'
This postulate is not exactly so self-evident its
Mr. SpiMikens thought it to be; but while it is not
clearly proved that brandy agrees with everybody,
yet it was plain enough that Spilllikens agreed with
it, and Slyder Downehylle began likewise to have
a slight agreement with that abjective, both in num
ber and person.
He followed the advice of Spifflikens. No one
knew the world better than Spifflikens, and, there
fore, Spifflikens must, of course, be right—so Sly
der Downehylle became convivial. He slept by day
and frolicked by night. If this was not the long
sought ' it,' where could 'it' be? Slyder Downe
hylle was merry—exceeding jocose. He was some
times turned out of three theatres in one evening— I
he had faught in a ball-room—had thrashed several
watchmen--had been honored with private hear
ings' by the magistracy, and had been more than
once almost beaten to a jelly. Slyder Downehylle
earned the right and title to be known as a spirited
youth, and so he was, generally. But - by dint of
repetition, the blue began to disappear from this
, plum also--the peach was no longer downy. If it
I had not been for the peach brandy, what would
have become of Slydcr Downehylle I It was not,
indeed, perfect bliss—Slyder was subject to head
ache in the earlier part of the day ; yet it was as
nearly • something to be happy with,' as lie had yet
, been enabled to discover.
It was a hard case, view it as you will. Mr.
Slyder Downehylle wanted to be happy—he had
the greatest disposition to be happy. He had tried
every possible experiment in that (Eviction that
either he or Spifflikens could suggest; but yet he
was a dejected man, even when tipsy twice a day.
He could find no delight that was of a substantial
character—nothing to which he could constantly
recur without fear of disappointment and disgust—
nothing that would wear all the week through and
he the same to-day, to-morrow, and the day after
that. It was in vain that he intermingled his plea
sures--took them in alternation—over-ate himself
In the morning and over-drank himself in the even
ing, or reversed the process, turning the bill of fare
ide
not Slyder Downehylle be happy I Who labored
harder to boil down common-place and to extract
from it the essence of felicity—to concentrate the
soup of life, and to elicit essentials from their insi
pid dilution I
A man laughed in the play-house—laughed sev
er •.1 times. What right had he to laugh in that side.-
shaking manner Slyder Downehylle could not
laugh—he saw no particular joke that required it;
but the man laughed again, and when Slyder re_
quested him net to make a fool of himself, the man
pulled Slyder'a nose. Hope deferred engenders
fierceness. Slyder quarreled with the man about
making so free with another person's nose, as if it
were a hell-pull or a knocker. A nose is not Much
to be sure—many noses are not—but when a nose
is constituted a point of honor, it expands to the
dimensions of a geographical promontory—it is
peninsular•—it is a disputed territory, over which no
man can be allowed to march, much less to make
' settlements upon it. Slyder Downehylle resolved
to stand by Isis nose, and so ho stood up to it, and a
duel was the consequence—riducl, according to the
barbarian custom of modem titers, which was fought
before breakfast. Who can be surprised that there
is so much bad shooting extant on these interesting
occasions I A gentleman, no matter how much of
a gentleman he may be in proper hours, cannot
reasonably he expected to be altogether a gentleman
—altogether himself—at, such an uncivilized time
of day. A man may be valiant enough after nine
o'clock—when he has had his coffee and mulling—
he may be able to face a battery itt the forenoon, and
ready to lead a forlorn hope when he has dined
comfortably ; but to auk one to get up to be shot at,
in the gray of the morning—in the midst of fogs
and all sorts of chilly discomfort, his boats and Isis
trowsers draggled with dew, and himself unsustain
tabled by a breakfast—why the whole thing is pre
posterott, No man can be valiant unless lie is
warns, and es no man can be warm without his break
fast, It is a demonstrated fact that breakfast is itself
valor, and that one may he frightened before break
fast, without the slightest disparagement to his char
acter for courage. Master Bernadine was right
when he refused to get up early to go to the gallows.
There is a time for all things. But Slyder Dowse
itylle was not more alarmed than was right and pro
per—not more, probably, than Isis antagonist.--
How do they come on said the surgeon to Go
liah Bluff; who acted as Slyder's second. The fourth
shot had been interchanged, and no blood drawn.
As well rts could be expected,' replied Goliah;
'they are approximating t the seconds don't have to
dodge now, and the principals are not so likely as
they were to shoot off their own toes. Practice
makes perfect.' 4Gentlemen,are you ready ?—one,
two, three '—hang l—bang ! The man hod win
ged Slyder, and both were glad : the one that it was
safely over, so far as he was concerned, and the
other that the aflisir was finished and no worse,.
far as he was concerned, Further approximations
might have been dangerous. But the result was a
downright flying in the face of poetical justice, ow
' ing no doubt to the fact that poetical justice wisely
lies abed tilt the last bell rings. But than, as Goliah
Bluff announced to the parties belligerent, Slyder
Doxvnehylle was satisfied,' and who (Ise had •
right to complain'. His nova seas the feature most
%70 , 31 - ia ca) D. es) S2Y co . 4actoz).,
interested, and it said nothing 'as nobody knows
on'—for it was now a nose which, when regarded
in its metaphysical and honorable aspect, notwith
standing its rabid tints, had not a stain upon its
escutcheon. The bullet in its master's shoulder bad
been soapsuds to its reputation, nod the duel had
been briclaist to the lustre of its glory. Sh•tkr
Downehylle's nose actually 'shone again,' brighter
than ever. His arm, no doubt, was in a sling—
! the same min that had conveyed so many slings
intd him, to support him, comfort him and keep him
up—but his nose was self-sustained; it had been
proved to be a feature riot to be handled with im
punity. But what are noses after all—what are
noses in the tihstract—noses individually consideredl
Slyder, in the end, did not core much Olin piil!ed
his nose, so they did It gently.
He was engaged in solving n great moral problem.
I He left the longitude and the squaring of the circle
to intellects of an inferior order. It was for him
to determine whether it was possible to live upon
the principal of ones health and capacities for en
joyment, without being restricted to sorb beggarly
returns as the mere interest thereof. As for content
—the • being happy with One's self,' as Uncle John
expressed it--this was n very flat sort of happiness
in Slyder Downehylle's estimation, if, indeed, he
ever placed it in that category at all. It was by no
means strong enough for the purpose. Happy up.
on water ! trouble you far that pale brandy,'
sail Slyder Downehyllc. He desired that his ex
istence should be one vast bowl of champagne
punch—an everlasting mince pie--terrapins and
turtle soup—glaciers of ice-cream and cataracts of
cognac, sunned by frolic and fanned by the breeze
of excitement—a perpetual spree !' There wero
to be no shady sides of the way in his resplendent
world. How many practical philosophers have
fiiiled in the same pursuit ! To the cumim rnlnhiln
never to be discovered ! Are we. always to come
down to the plain reality, at lout ! Downehylle
could not endure the though:—' more cayenne, if
you please.'
Have you ever tried faro whispered Spill-li
kens; 'there's considerulde fun at faro, when you
are up to it.'
Spitlikens passed the bottle. Slyder Dowfieliylle
had never tried faro, but he did try it, and thought
4titalittfeß'4vAvogifl fi49 lait-At'fiefi.tlreYttrrttrtr
Thule. The something to be happy with had ; to
all appearance. been found. Redheiffer was but a
goose. He knew not where to look for the perpet
ual motion'—the everlasting jog to the daggitig spit.-
' it. But the top of our speed brings the end of the
race. lie who moves most rapidly, is the sootiest
at the close of his career. Faro is fickle, and Sly
der Downehylle, in his real to pile enjoyment upon
enjoyment—to be happy, if possible, with several
things at a time"--had unluckily a habit of not ta
king even his faro 'plain ; he needed syrup elan in
that effervescing• draught, and as his head became
warm. the cool' amounts in his pockets melted
away.
Slyder Downehylle was a cashless man=-Lie res
searches after felicity had not only proved unsucces
ful, but had left him without the means of future
progression. He was bemired half way—swamped,
as it were, in sight of port. Even. Spiftlikens cut
him dead. The tailors desired no more rif his et,-
tom--his apartments at the hotel were wanted. The
'credit system' was out of fashion. Financiering
had been clipped in its wings. How doleful! Wks
the candle when capped with an extinguisher I The
wounded squirrel drops front limb to limb. The
world has many wounded squirrels, besides those
that crack nuts to earn a living. Just suds a squir
rel was Slyder Downehylle, compelled, before ho
reached the top of his aspiring hopes, to abandon
. every step that he had so toilfully surmounted.
How he now obtained any thing to eat, is not
exactly known. His mode of obtaining something
to drink, Is, if not original, certainly ingenious, He
never goes to the pump, hating no taste for hydrau
lics. Nor does be find water with a hart' twig.
He has a more effective twig' than that. Ile
lounges in Isar-rooms, and as his old acquaintances.
searchers after happiness not yet brought up with a
rountf turn,' go there to drink--a dry bar is II sad
impediment to navigation—it is astonishing how
very solicitous he becomes in reference to their
health.
'How do you do, Mr. Jones? I'vo not had
pleasure of sexing you for a long time, How lta‘o
you been!'
• l'etty well, Downellylle, pretty Well-=-but eXCLEC
me---Bilio arid I are going to try something.'
Why, ah—thank you—l don't care mach if I
do join. The pale brandy—yes—that will answer.'
would be Slyder llownehylle's response under such
circumstance., from which It is apparent that mit
fortune had somcwhatimpaired hissense of hearing.
Slyder Hownehylle is atippmed to be yet about
town, looking earnestly for his undiscovered happi
ness. The last time he was seen by credible wit
, flosses, they noted him busily employed in playing
all fours, in front of John Gin's lioatelry—a p.m
probably selected as emblematic of his now creeping
condition. Ho lounges no more in fashionable re
sorts. Champagne punch is a mere remisccnci,
His Havanae are converted into long nines,
and his bibulations are at two cents n glass, making
up in piperine pungency what they lack in delicacy
of flavor. He Is sadly emaciated, and in all rearects
considerably the wow, for wear, while a hollow
cough indicates that this physical capabilities have
proved inadequate to the requirements of his method
of employing life, and are fist dropping to (•terse•
Slyder Downehylto is consequently , more me'nache'