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VOL. VIII, No. 20.]
' 1i111fi11......••• ars ia.asx
THEODORE H. CREMER.
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• . •
The Bachelor's Lament.
They tell me to hasten and marry—
But alt! 'tie the cost that I fear ;
And prudence still warns us to tarry,
Ere seeking amusement so dear.
Oh! there's rapture unmensur'd in wooing,
And sweet the confession when won:
But the house-keeping horrors pursuing,
Arc sure to make sentiment run.
Thus I mus'd 'tother night, as fair Chloe
Swam round in the dance at my side!
I must furnish that wardrobe so showy,
If rashly I make her my bride.
That slim fair foot, and its fellow,
That tread the light measure so gay,
Must with satin he shod, and prunella,
And husband the piper must pay.
At a glance of that ankle so slender
My heart the dear bargain would close ;
Slut my head bids me before I surrender,
Remember the price of the hose.
That hand so desired beyond measure,
The suitor that ventures to hold,
r an only secure such a treasure
By limping the (Ingo s with gold.
Those eyes, though their vision surpasses
. The eagle's that pierces the light,
Must be AIDED with opera glasses,
liowe'er they embarrass the sight.
Though made up of roses thy face is,
Such , roses bloom not in the sun ;
We must veil them in the best of point laces,
Or freckles will soon (martin.
Sweetest mouth that e'er smiled upon mortal,
Hides organs of hunger within ;
And dainties must pass the red portal,
Or soon cherry-lips will grow thin.
Ah! that chat m so desit ed by a lover
Have duties so costly assigned— [corer,
That the perils which thy smiles now un•
The choice of the market must grind!
Thy form richest fabrics must cumber
With many a garment of show ,
Atal with, doubtless, of ninny a number
That bachelors never may know.
Thy brow, that fair temple where towers
High honor in marble enshrined, [flowers,
Must be thatched with straw, feathers and
To keep out the sun and the wind.
Thy care must be constantly petting
With rarest cosmetics thy face--
Thy nose be indulged in ccquetting
With 'kerchief bewildered with lace,
Those tresses, ensnaring allurers,
With fillets of gold we must bind ;
Thy cars must be fed with bravuras,
And hung with the jewels of
Strange! that man should embellish a crea
Already more fair than the morn ;
That being most gifted by Nature
Is the one we most love to adorn.
Why was Eden so pleasant to Adam--
So rid of connubial ills ?
Because his ingenious madam
Ne'cr bored him with milliner's bills.
No bonnets had she for her tresses-•-
No silks did her person enroll;
So cheap were her costliest dresses;
Fur a fig she had purchased the whole.
Ali! that wag the season to marry,
Ere tashion made woman her thrall.
Her trumpery garments to carry---
Yes! clothes are the curse of the fall!
" I meant to have told you of that hole,"
said a man to his friend, who stumbled ire•
to a pit full of water. "No matter now,"
says the other, blowing the mud and water
out of his mouth, " 1 have found it."
- • .
Flom the World of Fashion.
THE VIRGIN'S TRIUMPH.
forego my prize 7 Tush ! girl, you are a
,fool I No—by heaven!--you shall be
I mine!—on my own terms—and that ere
the day is many minutes older. Pray not
"Do you know me, girl ?—ha: you to me," lie continued, as his victim clasp
have not forgotten. Then prepare for ed his feet convulsively ;" my heart is as
your fate." hard as yonder steel, for I have taught it
As the Rover uttered these words he to look forward to this moment with de
ent etc d the after cabin atilt ship, by lift- light. And have I not cause ?" he asked,
ing up the curtain which divided the a- lashinis ' himself into a rage. " Was 1 not
pertinent from the larger room in front, rejected in favor of a beardless boy, aye I
stood face to face with the shrinking and and was not added insult heaped on that
terrified girl, whose ashy paleness, when rejection? Roysterer, profligate adven
she saw the countenance of the intruder, turer, knave—were net such the terms
told that his character, if not his person, with which I was repelled?"
was already known to her. And if ever "No—no I I never called you such;
before she had seen that face it could not let me not answer for what others have
be for„entteu ; for no one looked on the tinne"
Dark Rover without having every feature " Not answer, ha ! And what is it to
of his countenance burnt into memory.— me whether you spoke them or your cant.
Ile had apparently been handsome once, ing guardian? Were they not uttered in
but his face was now brutalized by the in. your own halls, and before grinning
dulgence of strong and evil passions. The grooms and horse boys ? Did not the
stern, frowning brow—the keen and gilt- names stick to me aterwards ? and was
tering eye—and the expression of settled not my companionship shunned, and my
malignity over the whole face, left an ito- hope of advancement cut off ? Ay ! you
treason on the gazer's mind which nei- know all this, and yet tell me it was not
• ther time our events would eradicate. So, your fault. Your fault, indeed! And who
at least, it seemed in the case of the would have dared say these things, or who
would have dared repeat them, if the heir.
young girl, for she uttered a stifled shriek,
and turned away shuddering from his ess of Stratford Castle had accepted me 7
• look, as it' she had seen smite deadly ser. No, by the God above us! your plea shall
petit. His eyes lightened with licentious be of no avail. I set in motion--it costs
passion, when, burying her face i n her nothing to tell how—the train of causes
hands, she exposed to sight her rounded that induced your guardian to leave home
and snowy shoulders ; but, checking any and take you with him. I have (logged
other outward manifestation of his ev i l you ever since you left Englund, but nev
thoughts, he curled his lip in a bitter er found an opportunity to strike the blow.
sneer, and said ironically, I have turned pirate to get you in my
"And so you do know me—me, the de- power; the laws have outlawed me alrea
spised suitor--the good-fur-nought of fly; and think you my peril is increased
whom your canting guardian bid you be- by this new outrag e , as men will be pleas
ware, because, forsooth, f was a cava li er ed to call it 7 T ulle to weak women, or
and not a rascally, snivelling round-head beardless boys, of pity ; but ask not, nor
like himself. Ah! my pretty Puritan," expect mercy from Reginald Wilmot."
Ile continued, exchanging his tone for one " Oh, yes I you wrong yourself; you
of more freedotn, and advancing toward will pity!--mercy, mercy, mercy !"
her, " times have changed since then. I "Was there mercy shown tome," he ex.
swore, on that day, to have revenge ; and claimed, spurning her with his toot, "when
the hour for it has come. Will it please I knelt to you?—Did not I tell you how
you then to accommodate yourself to for years I hurl loved you—how I had •
your destiny, or must I use force P Out watched by (lay and dreamed over you by
of this cabin you go not until you have be- night--how I had been spurred on to
come worse than the meanest thing of deeds of glory by the hope of winning your
your sex, whom yesterday you would Lye i smile—and might I not have told you, iia
`cast from your door." you were told by others, how I had reform-
Up to this moment the victim had re- ed my life, left my old associates, and
mained with her face buried in her hands, , sworn never to see them again, trusting .
sod her head averted from her conqueror, thus to gain your favor 1 Did I not speak of
and while he was addressing hr, e wild and the fiery depths Itr my heart, and tell you
fearful thoughts had been passing through : that my love for you had become a part of
her bosom, so that at first she scarcely' my life? ' But what,' he continued say
comprehended his words, All the horrid agely, his face assuming the look of a de
events of the last day had passed in hur-i mon I " was your answer?' ' Yuu were
vied review before her. She stood once !young, forsooth,'" and here again Ins ac
more on the deck of their gallant ship, as' cents became those of bitter scorn—"'you
it left the port fur old England, w hi t h er . knew nothing of love'—.you mistrusted
her guardian was returning after having my passionate nature'--God's death! was
settled lien West Indian possessions—she I to be spurned like a hound, and my past
stood and watched with him the setting
' life thrown in my teeth alter all Inv salmi
w hit, : flees for -
sun go down behind the inland hills, amendment ? " Girl," and the
' the parting beams stretched a bridge of words hissed through his teeth, " I became
gold across the deep, on which, even as from that hour, more like a fiend than a
the old legend fancied, angels might have human being; for my love was changed
walked to glory—she lay again in her into hate--hate the most bitter and unre
-1 couch, with the silvery moonlight looking lenting—a hate that has never slept since,
lin through the little window, while sh e day or night. You scorned a Inve elicit as
dreamed sweet dreams of home, and of no mortal ever before felt. You may
one to whom her virgin love had been judge of its intensity by my present ha
plighted, the graceful, the high born Ever- I teed. Hearts like mine are not as lava
and—she saw, with despair, the low earn- —and wo to those who rouse my ven•
vel that shone out from behind the desert- geance! But away with this trifling l—
ed headland at break of day, and made for Once I would have kissed the earth where
them with clouds of canvass swelling in you trod if you had promised to be mine,
the breeze, and the bloody flag, whose sal- but now you shall pray to toe for the rites
itary red field was unrelieved by a single of tle church, and pray in vain," and he
emblem, waving high at the peak— she be- laughed mockingly, gazing on the agon
held the gradual approach of this relent. lied face of his victim in triumphant ma
less toe, the collision of the two vessels, lice
the crowd of ruffians who leaped on the
almost unarmed ship, the short but deadlv
conflict, the decks slippery with blood, the
tall of her gnardian, their servants, the
captain, and the rest of her defenders, and
her own wild retreat to the after cabin, a
few minutes before, where she had prayed
for death ; she saw all this, and well
might these memories, combined with the
clash of arms, the shrieks of the wound
BY HENRY DANFORTH.
ed, and the curse of the pirates still ring
ing in her ears, prevent her from hearing
it her captor said. But when he came
to his last dreadful annunciation, these
fearful words penetrated even to her par
alyzed heart, and she started up, while
terror dilated her eyes, and her hands in•
voluntarily rose in supplication.
" spare me," she ci led, falling on
her knees, and clasping the feet of tho
Rover, " by the memory of your mot her
—by your hopes of salvation—spare me,
spare toe !"
The pirate looked down on the agoniz
ed countenance at his feet, but the bitter
sneer on his lip faded not, nor did a single
muscle of his face relax. At length he
burst into is scornful laugh.
" And is it to yield to a girl's tears that
I have plotted and toiled, and suffered for
years; in the hope of one day having my
revenge?—and now, when the goal has
been gained, and I am about to drink the
cup fur which I have worked so long, are
you wad enough to think that a few tears,
ur a well-acted part will induce me to
"ONE COUNTRY, OhE CONSTITUTION, ONE DESTINY."
HUNTINGDON, PENNSYLVANIA, WEDNESDAY, MAY 31, 184 a
" Oh! for one moment," shrieked the
girl, again clasping his feet, and looking
up into his lace imploringly, " hear toe. I
know you have been wronged, though
never, as God is my witness, did I say or
think aught you have attributed to ►ne. I
will be your slave fOr years, aye I for life
itself—l will do the most menial offices
for you, or I will surrender my estates
and swear never to marry any one, it you
will only save my honor. Ohl turn not
away. Remember the grave--eternity—
the judgment day. Only save me, and
will bless you forever"—and she gazed
up into his face with a countenance that
might have moved the tempter of mankind
himself. It was in vain.
"rush, girl!" and his dark eyes glow
ed with unholy passion, " you only look
more beautiful, and thereby hasten your
doom. Ha! it would have been a refine
ment in revenge if I had saved your guar
dian until this hour, that he might have
seen your degradation. Hut come now—
let us have done with this trifling. Your
charms would render an anchorite cal
lous. Must I needs use force?'" and, lor
'the first time, lie laid hands spun the sup
plicant, and would have torn away the
cover which veiled her panting bosom.
Had he beheld the fabled shield rever
sed and gazed upon the Gorgon's face—
had he seen one of the murdered victims
start up through the deck before him, the
Rover could nut have been more conloun
ded than at the instantaneous and unex-
pected change which came over the virgin
when she felt his unholy touch. Hitherto
she had played the part of the suppliant,
exhausting all the eloquence of words,
tears and looks to save herself from foul
dishonor; and her captor would as soon
have looked for the lightning to have burst
from the calm, sunlit sky overhead, as for
her to have evinced any thing like daring
or defiance. But she did do it. The in
stant that she felt the brutal touch upon
her shoulder, she started to her feet, and
sprang back, with eyes flashing fire, and
" Off—oil, miscreant!" she said, with a
proud waive of the arm, such as a queen
would have used, "as there is a God in
heaven, if you approach one step nearer,
Perhaps there was something of admi
ration for this conduct which induced the
pirate to pause, even alter his first aston
ishment had subsided ; fur he certainly
saw no means by which his victim could
carry her threat into execution. Folding
his arms composedly on his bosom, he
laughed contemptuously, and said,
" Really, your rage becomes you, and I
like your spirit. You are nut the tame
dove I thought, mid I must watch you
But pray," he continued sneer
" how long am I to wait your plea
sure, or by what means do you intend to
keep me away ?"
" Do you see this train of powder?"
said the girl pointing to her feet, while
she kept her eye keenly watching the lace
ot' her captor, to anticipate any movement
he might make; " it reaches to the maga•
zinc, and was laid after we saw you would
overtake us ; but in the strife of battle
was furgetten. A lamp burns here at my
side, and with a single dash of toy hand I
can throw the tire on that train. I have
known this all along; but life is precious,
land we dare not part with it without
weighty cause. 'Think you else that I
would have knelt so long to you, miscre
ant, murderer, as you are ? While there
was hope, 1 prayed for mercy—l now de
mand safety at your hands. Swear by your
kinghtly ancestors—for that oath alone
you will sot break—to restore me unharm
yed to my friends as speedily as possible,
I or I tire
,:; , e train."
The ,fit , ek of the Rover might have
turned a shade paler when she mentioned
the means of destruction she possess,
ed, but, if so, it was only momentary,
and long ere she had ceased speaking, his
stinhurt face was as dark as before. Not
that he misdoubted what she said, but
then he had too much confidence in his
agility to suppose she could carry her de
sign into execution ; and besides, he was
constitutionally brave. The scornful look
still wreathed his lip, but he spoke not;`
and his eye dared not leave that of the
maiden. And there they stood while one
could have counted ten—each as motion
less as if carved out of stone. She pale as
death, but with a form proudly erect, and
an eye as an eagle's in its wrath—he, like t
a sneering fiend, awating the first symp
toms el faltering on her part, to spring
upon her and prevent her from executing
her do, Ll, for well he knew that her exci•
ted tier v ,, s must eventually give way, if
only on account of the unnatural tension
to which they had been drawn. But he
mistook his victim. if he knew her weak
ness, she knew it also; and during the
short interval we have described, her keen
eye was reading his soul. She knew that
all succor front without was hopeless—
they were on the broad sea, and leagues
from any other ship—and that her deliver
ance must come from herself, and in the
way she had threatened, or come not at
111 l all. The scanty spaceof tune had scarce•
ly elapsed—and though to her and her
confronter it seemed an age, for moments
in situations like theirs are counted by the
emotions they witness—when she said,
still keeping her eyes fixed on those of the
Rover, and with the accents of the haugh
tiest of queens,
" Do you consent ?"
She saw he was about to spring on her,
and without pausing, she continued.
"Then I summnn you to the bar of
God !" as she spoke dashing the lamp on
The Rover was at her side as she ceas•
ed speaking, but it was ton late. The fire
whizzed along the deck, even as the words
fell from her, and with their close, pirate
and victim, and all the crowded popula
tion of the skip, were hurled, with a noise
as of ten thousand batteries, into the air.
The whole of that living freight was in
eternity. The awful citation of the mai.
den had been answered.
A Cavern has been discovered in Jef
ferson county, Indiana, which is a mile
long. The Hoosiers, who dread long
summers, are in ecstacies at the prospect of
a cool retreat to eat their gingerbread in.
A SPARE. DIF,T.---The Cork Examiner
says--At present, the Scotch pour are not
; they subsist on the recollection of
what they ate in toi nier years.
[From 1, In Town and About," now in
course of publication by Cocky tc M'NE
One of the Boys who run with the Engine.
By Jovrti C. NEAL, Esq., Author of
" Charcoal Sketches."
In all associations, whether of men,l
boys or sheep, there is invariably a bell.
wether—a master spirit; one who affords
color to their modes of thought and fur
nishes aim for their actions, who warms
their spirit when their courage flags, who
lends them enterprize when they falter,
and gives concer,tration to their efforts.—
In an extended sphere, such individuals
bestow character on nations and on ages,
leaving their impress upon all ; and, in a
more confined circle, the personal stamp,
though not so widely spread, is made with
equal distinctness. In the group which
forms the subject of our story, such a one
will be seen in the person of Hie key
Ilammer,—lie, with a club in hand and
with a most majestic sternness is his coun
tenance,—he, with the game-cock look all
over him—he, whose combativeness and
destructiveness are so prominent as to
render it unavoidable to weat his hat as
lant, that on one side at least, these or
gans may be comparatively cool, to ensure
safety to his friends—he, Hickey Ham•
iner, who has fierceness enough in compo
sition to furnish a whole menagerie, and
yet leave sufficient surplus to animate and
constitute a warrior. Were there ample
swing for Hickey Hammer—had we the
delights of civil war, or the charms of a
revolution, there would be one more ad
ded to the list of heroes, and another pic
ture would figure in the print shrys. But
as it is, Hicke contrives to find some vent
for his inspiration, by getting up a quarrel
about once a day, and nourishing it into a
gruntl combat—otherwise, he would ex
plode from the collision of his own fiery
spirits. Hickey Hammer "runs with the
engine" because it goes to fight fire, and
he almost wishes that he were a bucket of
water, to grapple more directly with so
fierce a foe. So irresistible is his call to
contend, that he is obliged to gratify it,
whether there be an object present or not.
When lie goes to bed at night or when he
rises in the morning, the exercise of his
muscles is an invariable concomitant. He
strikes the air, parries imaginary blows,
and passes though all the actions of a
"heady fight" with an energy that is real
ly alarming. Every door in the house
hears the imprint of his knuckles, and the
very tables are splintered by the weight of
his fist. The cocked hat" is to him the
beau ideal of shapes, and he labors to
knock all things into that antiquated re
-1 semblance. Should old time venture with
in reach of his arm, the existing moment
would at once be converted by a similar
process, into " the middle of next week."
One of his devoted admirers is endeav
i oring to tell him a story about a Mr. Tomp
kilts, who had recently distinguished him
self at a fire, and Ilickev Hammer listen
ed with his usual scornful impatience.
"Tompkins!" said Hickey, on the oc
' cation referred to ; well and who is
• Tompkins, your great Tompkins! Now
I'll king this thing to a pint at once for
when there's so much talk, there's never a
bit of fight."
" 1 dinit say anything about fight,"
was the treintling remonstrance of the
" But you cracked Tompkins up, didn't
you, and Tompkinspretends to be great
shakes, don'n lie? "What's that but fight,
should like to know? Now the thing,
as I said before, is just this, and uo more
than this. I don't pretend to be much,
but can Tompkins lick tee ? Could he
lick me any way, fair stand up and no
closing in, or could he do it rough and
tumble and no letting up? Talking about
people is nonsense--this is the how to find
out what a chap is good for. Fetch on your
Tompkins and tie my right hand behind
me, if you like--that's all—yes, he shall
have six cracks at rue before I begin. I'm
not particular about odds. When you
see this Tompkins, tell him so, and ask if
he or his brother, if he has got one, or any
of his lamily, boss and all, would like to
knock a chip °limy hat any afternoon.—
I'll clear them of the law. 1 want them
to do it—l'd give 'em something if they'd
do it. Just feel my arm—hickoty and
gum legs: Talk of your Tompkinscs:
Who did they ever lick ? I don't believe
they were ever taken up because they
were going to fight. Only wait till there's
an alarm some Sunday, and then show me
'Tompkins, if you want to see a man forget
what he hail for dinner."
In fact Hickey Hammer considers him
cell sent here on a special mission to ac
commodate all customers, and whatever
he hears of any new comer, his first in
quiry is as to the individual's appreciation
of his own prowess—whether, Tomp
kins, " he thinks he can lick Hickey
mer." If he does think so, and ventures
to say so, why Mr. Hammer sees to it that
the difference of opinion may be settle.]
NJ the spot, Co great in his loyc o f truth,
[WtroLE No. 384.
that he cannot bear to leave any one in
error upon a point of stun interest and
importance. Had [Jammer lived in car.
lier times, ho would have been the very
flower of chivalry —at present, he only
rejoices m the appellation of being .a
When squabbles arc scarce and riots are
a little out of fashion, for such events are
somewhat epidemic, Mr. Hammer, follow
ing the example of other great men, makes
the circumstances to suit himself, and
gathering a flock of pupils and proselytes
around him, often sets forth on what he
calls the grand rounds." This process
consists in taking an evening ramble from
one engine house to another, to have a
glance at the collection of boys there ass
setnbled ; for each establishment has its
separate set of votaries, who believe that
all virtue resides in their gang, and that
all excellence is combined in their engine:
If there are enough present to render the
scene itnpressive, Hickey Hammer sternly
confronts the strangers, and with a lower ,
ing aspect, thus addresses them :
Well, my lads, where's the bully 1"
‘. What bully?" is the natural response,
from those who are yet to be indoctrinated
into Mr. Hammer's mode of doing busi
" I want to see the bully of this com
pany—you're got a bully, I suppose.— ,
Everybody says so. Where is he l Tell
him to come to supper," and that there
may be no mistake as to his meaning,
Hickey throws himself into position, deal
ing forth experimental blows in the very
thee of the bystanders, su nicely calcula
ted as to distance, that they are enabled
to feel the Whitt' and wind," without
experiencing pet sunal detri men t,the insult
being assault enough, though rather con
structive than positive, and hosing no
taint of battery.
If a bully be forthcoming, which is not
often the case upon an emergency so
sudden and unexpected, the consequences
are obvious. The combat either conies oft•
at once, or is fixed for a more convenient
spot and a subsequent meeting. But
should tho assailed party be without a
champion, Hickey challenges any two, or
more, if they like to undertake him, and
this mode of proceeding generally results
to a set-to all around, requiring a consta
bulary suppression, and furnishing material
for many a tale of Itaditionary narrative,
in which Hickey Hammer figures as the
hero; in consequence whereof, all " the
boys that run with the engine," of whirl,
Rickey Hammer may be regarded us the
patron, are Hickey llammerites in word
and deed. They roll their trowsers up
higher than any other• boys--they roar
louder than other boys; they take the en •
gine out on Sundays, and if• they cannot
get a fight in any other way, they duct)
deliberately into every " carriage" that
passes. Rare boys are the boys that
run with the engine"—the choice and Inas
, terspirits of the time.
NEM GOOM—The editor of a coun
try paper having gone to a neighboring
village to get married, the devil—printer's
—" took the responsibility" of getting out
the paper. The (Wowing is his " leader."
Reader—gentle or ungentle, as the cane
may be —we make to you our best bow,
after the latest improved and patented
London and Paris fashion, with a kind
of jerk at the end of it—and declare our.
selfyour mast humble conic-bumbl e down
four pair of steps servant. " Who are
you? you ask. Well, we're the" DEVIL!"
—not the old codger of am., who goes
about like a lion, seeking when he may
devour somebody--nut by a feet. But
we don't care the shake of a coon's tail
for him or any body else. No—blowed if
we do: WE'in.: an independent
a perfect rip snorter of a fellow, an im
ported earthquake- -not the one that shook
the bottom oil of the Mississippi, but the
one that can dance sick a giving up stairs,'
till the buttons drop off the spectators
jackets. It's a comical chap we are, as
every body knows that knows anything,
We haven't got any political principles—
except we believe in roast beef and hard
cider," and go John Tyler the whole lio n, r ,
including the tail. We love all the girls
Harder than a mule can kick--the pretty
ones in particular: and oar, we knows"
double refilled particular. We arc out
for total abstraction of all back cushions
as makes the women's coats stand out be-
hind, (we're a modest boy, and don't like
to say bustles,")—We're im tar the abro
piano') of all soaplocks. \l'e abominate
all straps,because they impede locomotion.
W e go the Temtation society to the bottom
of the barrel. To cut the matter short off,
we'll just Inform you that we're a double
; breasted thunder clap ; a scientific ante
deluvian nondescript, with a touch of the
werry pekooliar." Ilurrah fur us! WIIOOIII
The editor ain't at home!
Bai..t.ooN J o h n wi se .
the American .teronaul, made his for.
tieth accention in a balloon boinlisle,
*MO dti!, fly: .2:111111ay,