h n 7 IS' I ' Am 4, it 1 - 4 Si 1 p3 U i hi N 3 ILL y 12 M 3C THE BLESSINGS OF GOVERNMENT, LIKE THE DEWS OF HEAVEN, SHOULD BE DISTRIBUTED ALIKE, UPON THE HIGH AND THE LOW, THE RICH AND THE POOR. NEW SERIES. EBENSBURG, PA. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 1, 1865. VOL. J2-NO. 7 17 i? I IS 1 f I A i ' ' S H Jrl -F- i5 4 4ii W . ag-hLWUUKAT is published everv Wenncsaay Morning, at Two Pot.i.aks per annum, ,ivab!e in advance; Tw.i Dollaus anu t" UN TV t'lVK Cknts. if not paid Wlthm .i mouth ; nJ Two Dollaus anp Fir rv Ckn'T! if not paid until the termination f ti e veal". Xo huleription 1 1 be received for a shorter period than ?i . months, and no '.'ll-.-riber will 1c 111 liberty to discontinue Vqer until all arrearages are paid, ex -(tt at tli "ption of the editor. Ai.y ikt ,u Vul-cribin? f t six months vvil be char- ",e,J (INK fOLLAil TWKNTV 1;IVE C'KNTi, t the, money is paid in advance. 4d"rtlln5 Hates. One iu serf n. Tico do. Three do IJuWlinesl. 1 50 2 00 3 00 1 :i months, (i do. 12 do ri lines or less. $1 CO 00 $5 00 iaquarc.-U2Iitie12 50 4 50 9 00 ognuarei. 24 lines 1 00 7 00 12 X0 ((, uaresJSe lines J 00 ''00 14 00 J a column, 10 00 12 00 20 00 (he column. 15 00 22 00 35 00 Viusintss Carbs. I), M'LAUCJIILIN', A T 10 KN K Y-A T-L A W .b'l,it'w n. (';m:brirv G.. Pa. (i;Tu't in iIk1 lvfhaii?e building, on the C ruer f Clinton mhI Iooust streets up t.4;! Will iiUiiiij to all busi:iss connect ! with his -roffsion. Pfi-. 9. l'i.i.-if. YiLUAM KITTELL. 3 Itarnri? at .?falu, tfbfnsbura, b - Caiiibria County Penna. ;Uic- ( uIUitde row, I' 4 G YKL'S. L. n.'iSiilNU, ATTKN'EY-AT-L.V. .l .l.nstoH ii, Cambria 0unty, l'a. oi Main street, second floor over :h !!ai.k. ix 2 1) t. T. C. !. fliirr, PHYSICIAN AND SUIIC, FION. Tf.i.'.iTS his j rof-.-s.-ioiial s-ervhe to dtizene !' E H E N S Ii U ll G , td sr-" i.;r,,'!: vi- ir.i'v. cfu' i; in culoxadk now. June l".', 1 m; 5-:f the .1. .c:ttilari, T r i: N !: Y A t l a w . I'i.K-.M'.i i.,.. r.., l KI lCi: UN MAIN STUKKT, Til l.'EK 'US I A -T ok TiiK I.Oii AN Hol SE btrr:,i.tT iU, 1 Si,.'; -!y. K. L. .I'liiNsToN. ill-:. i. W. t ATM AS. JOKIfSTOW U OATBIAN. jATTOrtNEYS AT LAW. r,l"r"l T. l;r.MnVI.U To I.l.OYD sT., r.- !.,,r Wi.st of K. .I..bi--t. n's Kds-il-nee. I !). 4. - . ,1 ilX Fj-;x'LO.V. attu::ni:y-at- 8 ii cir. C.imbria -LAW, co,.:.iv Pa. iiii l: his d i n iain i eel a, : 1 ) s. noon; A TT'Oi s. j. v AT I.AV.'. U r.Ns',ri:- ;.c.Mi:i;lA c .. 1'A. or i. i i , I ii..- r,.s e. ;. 1 -if. r :.. ; M. l;l.i;i. ATTOKNKY AT LAW, i::'.E.si;ri;j. Cui4Lri'i Count Pa. 'dTi'-:-: ix (oi.uxade i;ow. kcr. !, :;, 1 s;4. I'.llAKL 1IASS(N, ATTOr.N KY-AT-LA W. Eoensburg. C nutria Co. Ii. j 'uline on Main street, three d-nrs East ; r Jui'.au. ix 2 A Siiokv aki a. Ym. 11. Se hi kk. i ! SIIOF.MAKKP. Ar SKCULEU, ATIORXEY'S AT LAW, , E BENS U U U G . j Camuria Coi ntv. j Tenn'a. i '.fficc heretofore occupied bv F. A. Shoe ) ker. Dec. 7, 18G4 If W. 1110 KM VS. U. F. IIOI.I. p. W. HICKMAM Sl CO., Wholesale Dealers in MANUFACTURED ToliACCO. f'kr.iGN AND DOMESTIC SECARS. t SNUFFS. &c E. COR. THIRD & MARKET STREET, j PHILADELPHIA. ' Augiut 13, 18Ga.-ly. MiSiuifliirasYSM ?MA STRKUT. JOIINSTO N 'A 1 LEWIS LUCKIIART, begs leave to an f -urn that he has always a large an J varied S'lrtmi-n of all the various articles peculiar r "i business. Repairs promrtlv and I prtfuliy atteuded to. " -rrn-wn Apr.l, 17 tr. 4 SlttKiilur Old Sonnet. The longer life, the more offence, The moie olleace, the greater paia; Tlie greater pain, the less defence ; Tl;e !es defence, the lesser jaiu The lets ot gain long ill doth try, When fore, come, death, and let me die ! The shorter life, lest count I find ; The less account, the sooner made; The count soon ma le the merrier mind ; The merrier mind doth thought invade, Short life, in truth, this thing doth try. Wherefore, come, death, and let me die! Come gentle death, the ebb of care, The ebb of care, the ll od of life: The li,od of life, the j ful lace ; The jo ful face, the end of strife The end of s.Lrlf, that tiling jvish I, Wherefore, come, death, aud let me die! JttiscrHaiuous. Facts about IVater. From All the Year II .und.J Water is paradoxical and contradictory in its outward and apparent qualities. It gives way, when permitted to do so, with marvellous faeililv. The lihtest anil ! lightest sub.-tance dropped upon it is ad i milted to its embrace, in strict accordance ! and in proportion to its deserts and den ) sitj-. So small a substance as a grain of ' sand ir- allowed to find its natural place at I the lx'ttoin. A hydrostatic or water-bed ; is the eusi.-st of couclns, so easy, that j soroe invalids cannot boar its excessive pliancy and compit te sidaption to the torrn oT the sbeper. Hence the notion of Des-o-ates and others that to explain the phe noiHena of water, its ultimate particles iuut be oblong, smooth and flexible, lying one upon another, like cel. in a tub. Int water of a given temperature, con lined, is of astounding hardness ; it is as good as incompressible at that temjcra ture ; for what is a reduction of from forly-four to fifty-eight miilioiieth parts of I its volume on !er a pressure equal to that jot the atiuosph-re f Many solid matters ! wood for instance can le squeezed into a much smaller than their original i bulk ; t'ao -pack'.! s art has attained on j dertid r!e lioii in inclosing much in little .-pace : but all the C'lieeiTs horses and all J the Ci'K'cn's zin-n cannot put a quart of ; w:t!er into a pi::t boltle; the ch-verest ! packer in Lon l,,ii (which is saving a great : d ca: i:-t cciitaimise the room of a ' taiile-spcoi.lul. You could sooner drive a ! nail into a sold cidm of steel than you j rnuld diie one it:Io a lib,- ofwatr in closed in a porf.-ctly uiij. lding box. I; j is ibe un qeei 7. ibilny of water which -jive-i i.s '..o!in u;s str-n-iii to the hydiaulie ! i.-'.-ss. The haidiiessol water may be fi-!t by sti iking op-, n bin 1 ; miloitui ate iich into l! its sm lace smavlly wilh the ti.i.' q iaiily is a!.-o l.riow:i to winuaer-, who, intending to e water h-adforemosf , la!! flat on Li ir stomachs i:. stead. 1'ure water is at its greatest density, or i heaviest and tno.-t conti acted, at four de- gr.-es, ci.-niigradc (to avoid (r:ictions,) or exactly ibii'iy-iiiue degrees of Fahrenheit, j that is at seven degrees above the freezing ! point : but if the tenqvratare changes, ! cither way, the wa'er expands. "From ; the maximum density up to the boiling I t.oiat, the expansion amounts to the four ! hundredth part of its volume a mere ; nothing;. If it cool Ix-low its maximum 1 density, it still expands up to the freezing ! i-oiut. Consequently water which is near I the point of freezing is lighter than water that is only just a trifle warmer. It, i therefore, rises and floats on the surface, I allowing the warmer stratum of water to ! sink. j 1 -livers nnd lakes., therefore, freeze from the top downward (which would not hap pen were the density of water to continue to increase with increasing cold,) and the fish and water weeds remain uninjured. W ere the case otherwise than it is if our ft reams and pinls froze from the bottom in long continued frosts, they would be come solid blocks of ice ; aquatic plants : and animals would peri-h ; and, even in cases ot partial lieezing, the thaw and the return to a normal state of things would be much more tardy than under existing circumstances. Water still further cx panus at its conversion into ice, but with that we have nothing to do. Ice is not water, and with water alone we are deal ing at present. Colder than the freezing point water is ice; hotter tl tan the boiling Mint water is steam.. Hut not long since the Count Henri Kussel, after encountering fifty de grees of cold in Asiatic Siberia and mercury freezes at forty-eight degrees had to bear fifty degrees of heat in Aus tralia. When we remember that water evaporates rapidly at a temperature far below the boiling point, we see at once what a transitory, fleeting, changeful thing it is. While we are looking at it, it is going; before we can seize it, it slips through our lingers. Indeed, according to loyle and others, water is a crystal melting at a low temperature, whose nor mal condition is that of ice : in other words, water is an unnatural state of ice ; whenever it is not, it ought to be Tee. Heat dissolves ice into water just as it dissolves butter into oil. liutter and ice, nevertheless, are the proper forms for those liquids to apjwar in. Pure water is protoxide of hydrogen. It is hydrogen rusted, and that thoroughly and completely, as much as iron rust is oxide of iron; only the rusting is done instantaneously instead of gradually. Here again we have two separate paradoxes in ne "Firstly hydrogen is the lightest form of matter known, except the either which we. don't know. Two volumes of this lightest pa combined with one volume of oxygen- a gas only a.tiitle heavier than air form a fluid whose weight we have just been wondering at. Secondly, oxygen is eminently the sustain er of conbustion, tbc.hfe and soul of fire ; atnl hydrogen is the combustion which illuminates our cities, warms our apart ments, cooks our fod, and kills us by ill timed explosions. And yet these two to gether constitute the agent which we ditily employ, on the smallest an I the largest scale to extinguish lire! Verily there are more things in lenivcn an i earth than were dreamed of? in .Shakespeare's days, in his philosophy. When the scornful mother launched the l.iuiit at her son, That he never would set the Thames on fire,'" and the lad mut tered, candlestick in hand, I'm blessed if I don't try 1" he was more in (he right than his prejudiced part nt The Thames may he set on fire although not with a tallow caudk and bu!i,t It is a ques tion not of possi'iilif v but of pursL'-ftrings Water can le separated into its two con stituent gases, (which is an analytical, proof of what it is made.) and the hydro- gen used fur lighting purposes. . An ex- I ii it.' pentneiital apparatus has been woiKCi at the Invaiidcs. Paris, and i working -till : but the problem of producing gas from vat r, at a marketable price, yet remains unsolved. The process and its attendant cssavs are not open to public inspect um : for voracious plagiaiists ai.d pattentees would pounce up n cheap water gas the moment it was invented. Tin Cionltc I5oy. " le crv gentle with her n;v -an. said .Mrs. ., as she tied on her lit:!.: -u Y j bonnet and svnt her out to piny until hci , d:!,r broil, r. ". ! Thv l a I n .t -1 em out long before a ; cry was heasd, and presently d. came in , and threw down his hat, sav ing, I haa- ! playing with girl.- .' there's no fan wi;h them: they cry in a minute." j " What have vou been do'.nir with vmiri -ter I her 1 ing there on lb ..I wail:: von have"trii her frock, and push-j ed her down. I am afraid vou Ut'ot mv ! caution to be gentle." " (lentle Do;, s can't be gentle, moth er. It is their nature to be rojigh and hardy ; they are the stulf sold iv rs and sai lors are mad..- of. It is v.r vvill to talk of a gentle gi:l: but a gentle boy it sounds ridiculous. "' " And yet, J., a few years hence you would be very angry if any one would say you were not a gentleman." 4 A gentleman! I hail never thought of dividing the word that way before. Ileing gentle always seems to me like being weak and womanish." " This is so far from being the case, my son, that 3011 will always find the bravest men arc the most gentle. The spirit of chivalry, that you so much ad mire, was a spirit of the noblest courage and the utmost gentleness combined. Still I dare fay you would rather be called a manly than a gentle boy ?" " Yes, indeed, mother." " Well, then, my son, it is my great wish that you should endeavor to unite the two. Show yourself manly when 3'ou are exposed to danger, or see others in peril ; be manly when called upon to speak the truth, though the sjK-aking of it may bring reproach upon you ; be manly when 3 0U are in sickness and pain. At the same time be gentle, whether you are with females or men ; be gentle towards all men. l?y putting the two spirits to gether you will deserve a name which, perhaps, you will not so greatly object to." " I see what you mean, dear mother; and I will endeavor to be what you wish a gentlemanly boy." tsS Nothing can be well done, that is done out of eeaon. A Coitlldi'sicc Oiwrator Ancstiil in 4l!)iuy, Sin York. From the Albany Kuicktrbot 'kcrj One of the best things that we have heat d of lately was revealed yesterday. We relish it the more because a mere stripling of a youths who represented him self as a sou of A. T. Stewart, the mer chant prince of New-Y ork, won the good will of these well-known New-Yorkers, whose friendship he had enlisted after short acquaintance, by his gentlemanly demeanor and good graces. It appears that for some ten days post the young man has been stopping at the Stanwix. He did represent himself to the proprie tor as the son of A. T. Stewart, and on that name secured one of the best rooms in the house. People may say " what's in a name," but we say there is everything in a name, as this case proves. Here was a thief who assumed th.; name of a mill ioniare, and was received and entertained accordingly. He was a perfect little blood, and we are informed that he was winning the esteem and affections of many ladies stopping at the house. In fact he went so far as to make love to some of them, and one became enamored, not of his appearance or exhibition of money, but his name ; for his appearance was by no means attractive, and, as for money, he did not have a cent. He told tiie lady his name was Stewart, but she did not believe him, and while in conversa tion with one of her gentlemen acquaint ances in the parlor, Wednesday evening, enlisted his scrv ices to find out who the young gent really wae. The gentleman acquaintance was one of the New-Yorkers referred to above. In attempting to find out who the young gent was, for his lady friend, the New-Yorker became inti mate. He introduced his friends, and all started oil' together on a regular lark. When they returned to the house, the New-Yorkers, among whom were Tho's CI. F'inn and James P. Abbott, inviting young Stewart to room with them during the night. Y'oung Stewart consented, not withstanding he had one of the Iie.-t rooms in the house. They all retired, and young Stewart waU-hed the movements of his v ictims closely. He was on the Steal he was a regular hotel thief in disguise. One of the gentlemen w ho slept in the room, Noah F Cogswell, had the pre caution to take his wallet, containing niii' tv dollars, from his pants pocket and place ii under his pillow. During the night, however, young Stewart arose, and abstracted a twenty-dollar greenback from each of the pockets of Finn and Abbott. ' .Mason heard coi:sid--rable mus-iag in the ( i.'ght, as if persons were dropping on the tl ior. He spoke of it yesterdav luornin-j:, ; I ina an 1 Abbott examined th ir pock- ; ets. and each found h'.ms'lf twenty dollar.- poorer than when he ntirid the night j before. For the first time these New-, Vol k ii' :itiemei were struck with the J tine chai aetcr of their g i--t. Policeman Chile '.s called in, and young Stewart j was hauled over. I'pon him was f.mnd ' the nii.--i:.n prop it v. He admitted the 1 l.ircer.v. and said that he .-aw Mason put j his pock it book under his head, and was satisfied he could get nothing there. On Im 'uu arranged he gave bis name as Her man Poppt 11 h.nuss en a f(od name for a foreign prince, but a mighty bad one for a New-York prince. On learning his true character all the boarders at the house were astonished, and none more so than the New-York lady, who set her New-York friend to enquire who her new acquaintance might be.- The case was fullv investigated, when Stewart, alias Popi enhausscn, was sent to jail. His crime is only petty larceny, there being two thefts. It is a penitentiary efl'ence. Had forty dollars been taken together, he would , have had a splended chance to spend a few years at the Clinton Academy- An Incident at tiii; 1au. Some of the disciples of Themis in the rural dis tricts of the Kmpire State often take a lofty flight. " May it please the court," said a law yer before a Dutch Justice, the other day, "" this is a case of the greatest importance. While the American eagle whose sleepless eye watches over the welfare ot this mighty republic, and whose wings extend from the Al'eghanies to the Pocky chain of the West, was rejoicing in his pride of f tare " " Stop dare ! Stop dare. I say ! Vat has dis "suit to do mit eagles f Dis has nottin' to do mit de wild bird. It ish von sheep!" exclaimed the justice. True your honor ; but my client has rights here " " Y'e'r client has no right to de eagle." " Of course nbt, but the law of lan guage " ' Vat cares I for de laws of language I 111 d rshtai t de laws of de Stat-, and dat ish enough vor me. Confine your talk to the case. "Well, then, my client, the d'-fcndent in this case is charged with stealing a sheep, nnd- Dat will do flat will do! Your client is charged mit shtealinz a pheep. Y'u-t nine shilliu'. De ourt will adjourn to llill Vcrguson's to drink. Tlie IVizc El In?. BILL DAVIS VS. JIM DUNN. These two celebrated aspirants for fis tic fame have been again matched for four thousand dollars, as the appended ami des 01 agreament will show. lo those til. 11 . .1 posieu, 11 win ue recoiieete.i, a maien was made some two months since between the same parties, the weekly deposit- of one bundled dollars each to be deposited at different sporting-houses, fpcciiied in the former agreement. On the 1st inst., however, the New-Y'ork party who were interested in staking the money for Davis failed to put in an appearance at the bouse named Phil. Clare's, Columbia street, Brooklyn. The final stakeholder, : present administration, and such declara Mr. Jno. Dvvyer, was put in po.-essiou of, tUins as ,ave i,.,, UKt,je !v the Senator Davis's deposit for that night, and started ' cron, ;cW Hampshire, oil this sul ject for Brooklyn with some friends for the ii W1j j)c j,,,, :1Ij favorably remembered : purKse of staking. I'pon Hearing the; " If trial by jury i-overthrown ii, this Brooklyn side, the pilot found the ice was j country, take the n st. I would not lift too dense to enter the .slip with Safety, ; ,v ha.,,1 nor orn-n mv mouth, nor coun- and the party being delayed thereby some thirty or forty minutes, found themselves behind ihe time specified between ana 10 o'clock when the Dunn party claimed forfeit. Six hundred dollars aside had already leen deposited. The parties de layed explained affairs, but the Braokl yn ites would not concede a single point, but were determined to have the ' pound of flesh." Consequently the repre-enta- tjiat t,e ktbvin -orj,'jt may be suspended, lives of Davis bad no alternative but to j :in tlt,u extraordinary tribunals may bo make another match, which they ratified erected and instituted for the trial of 1 very yesterday. Dav is is known as the chain- j )0iy that voluntary conies f.rward and pion of California, while Dunn is the j connects himself with the public serv ice. admiration of the sporting population of j jj.j j-,, if yoa are going to tinu.v a the city churches, and lias, it is said, an j draj-net over the land, if you are going eye-to the championship of America. to bring in this whole nop'e and subj.-ct Ai:nci.i--s of Ac.kkkmkxt entered into j them to the penalties that may be "n.llii ud this 1 1th day of February, lSGo, between j i,y u,',ii;ary ti ibun lis and the.-e courts m.ir Jamcs Dunn and William M. Davis, j t;;l5 then the last step in the humiliation Tlie said Jame- Dunn agrees to fight the , ;ni.i tue degradation of the country is said W. M. D.ivi-, a fair, stand up fiht according to th.: new rules, by which the -ai l James Dunn said William Davis hereby mutually ari e to be bound. The said tiht shali be for two tho isand dol lars a side, an 1 shall take place on T'ues- day. May Di. 18f..j, in the State of j At a late sitting of the Cork As-iz-s. a Pci n-v Iv ani a : James Dunn to name the 1 case was brought bifoie the court, in ground. In pursuance ol this agreement, ! which the piiucipal witness tor the deii.iie three hundred dollars a -ide are r.o-v de- was a tai.n r. well-known in the surronnd-po.-ited in the ban I- of Kichard C. Cow- . ing country by the sobriquet of "Crazy lev, who -hail be the final stak-holder 'Pat." Tlie second depo.-it of seven hundred j I'pon Crazy Pat being c.nl'.ed for his dollars a sid . shall be made at tie: ofilee ; evi lnee, the attorney for the prosecution ot HV.v' ),, on Tuesday, l- binary exerted to the utmo.-t extent l.is know 1 l!S, IS,;,". T he third deposit of five edge uf legal chicanery, ia the endeavor U hundred dollars shall be ma le at the same j force Flic witness into some incun.-i-tecey, office on Tuesday, March 2Hth. on which j upon which he might build a point ; but occa-ion a toss shall take place to decide ! he was exce.-.-ively annoyed lo find tht which man shall be entitled to name the j Crazy Pat's evidence was consistent place of meeting, of which ten days notice j throughout. shall be g'ven to the loser of the toss, j Perceiving that acute q-irsticning fail The said deposits shall be made Iietween , to answer bis purpos. the cisciplo of the hours of nine and 4 o'clock, and the j Coke and Blackstone betook himself to party failing shall forfeit the money down. The men shall be in the ring between the hours of G and 10 . m., tlie man absent to forfeit the battle money. That in the event of magisterial interference, umpires and re fere s sha'l decide the next time and place of meeting if possible, on the same day. That the expenses of the lopes and stakes shall be borne mutually, share and share alike (or bv the winner as may be aureed upon). The stakes not to be given up, unless by mutual consent, till fairly won or lost by a fight. In pursuance of this agreement, we herewith attach our names. ,Tamf.s Dcnn," W. M. Davis ..... (P. Kkknan, Witnesses M MlI.UN. C-onsci-lptlon or siwcl. The Iiichmond Kuquirer, says : The 1 conscription ot all the goid and silver in the country and its deuication to the good cause, instead of permitting it to remain an actual aid to the enemy. 13 attracting the attention of members of Congress and the legislature. As long as gold is per mitted to be sold, cither privately or at auction, it is an actual aid to the enemy, lktter remove it at once from the trade of the country by requiring it- payment into the public treasury. Conscript the gold just as we conscript the men and soon will conscript the negroes. Impress the pre cious metals ju-t as we impress the pre cious corn and meal of the widow and the orphan. Tha broken bava "no jold lor sale" to-day, but ure buying at forty-five dollars; "ih.ey ixptvt it to go up to one hundred and ten d ,r;ir-" Now this means starvation to mam of m.r people. Wh-.l injustice i- done by bonowiin: this iniquitous agent of the enemy, and iock- mgjnm up in the iron -a:e ei the treasury jn-t as a spy or emissary is bap; isne 1 in C:enle I bunder, until the w:.r ;s over ? After we are successful, Mr. lVokev can pet his gold with interest ; arid if we r.re not successful, he has no use f--r his old, because the Yankees w ill take it from him. I?y all means, conscript and impress the gold. A L.!g?it Iti tilt Irarliiicss. The annexed extract from a speech by Senator Hale, while the conscription Inw while the conscription law was under dis cussion, is woitiiv of id! admiration, and should be copied by every Democratic journal. It wiil entitle. Senator Hale to torgiviness lor many acts in bis public career, which have just Sy been ijn to ceirsurc. No language can le too strong to denounce the arf-itraty arrests which have taken place under the au-;,iees of lha M,j OIVJ ,,f n,y constituents p, shcd a drop f p,llMMi, or pay a doiiar of treasure, if the Constitution i- to In; preserved emas culated of this great safeguaid ol liberty. In these times, vvh 'ii ) mu h is demand ed, and so much is at fetake, with a geitr- j ous confidence I Would give to the udmin- ist rat Son. almost even tiling that they want. : I would consent, and I have consented. taken. and we shad le left fit instrument for any desw ,ris:n that the Imld a;,d law less may see proper to establish over us." 7Iic It 1 fill I t.aivj cr. that of times successful resource of law- vers 1 l.iicuie. ' What did you say your name wast" he inquired flippantly. " Folks call me Crazy Pat, but ' 44 Crazy Pat, ch ? A very euphonious title ; qu'ue romantic, eh i" 44 Komantie 01 not, sur, it ivu ln't bo a bad idea if the Parliament wad giv e it to yoursIf, an' leave me t ihuse another " This caused a siight laugh in the couit room, and the presiding Judge j-eepoJ over his spectacles at the attorney, as much as to sav, "You have jour lu.tch now." 44 And what did you say your trade was?" continue 1 the disconcerted banis ter, with an angry look at the witness. 44 I'm a tanner, sur.' 4' A tanner, t h '. And how long do vou think it would take to tan an ox hide " Will, sur, that's entirely owin" to cir cumstamvs." " Did you ever tan the hide of an ass?' '4.n ass! No sur; but if you'll just step down the lane, aft her the court, I'll show ve I could tan the hide of an ass ia the shortest end of three minutes. tj- 44 Well, Sambo, what's ycr up to now -a -days " " Oh, I is the carp'ner and jincr." 44 He ! I guess yer is ! What depart ment do you jerform V 44 What department! Why, I does the circular work.' 44 What's dat V 44 Why, I turns th f ruiWM !" e i; ; I lMWWIIIIII 11 mniliiil IU M u.