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A T T t 1 1 N E Y - A T - L A W ,
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A T TO l; N il Y A T L A W .
ofTICK t!N MAIN STKLKY. THt;EK
IMIURS I'AT v t,ik l.OuAN llOl.'SE
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OLFH.K RF.MOYL!) TO LLOYO ST.,
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ATTOilN KY-AT-LAY .
Ebcin-liniv. CUibria ct'Ui.ty I'a.
mire i. n Miiiii st wet atij. .minp; bis
ATTi11X IV AT LAW
i.iiEN.sr,c;:G, cam;u;ia co.. la.
0tr.ee :it;e duor East cf the Pest OlVire.
Feb. 18, 15ni3.rtf.
si ixrgi: l7 UEKl,
ATTOIiNEY AT LAW,
C'inihria Cjvni', Pit.
oit k;:-: i coxade row.
"March n. ISC 1.
ATTOIiX E Y- AT- LA V .
Ei-tensburp, C imbri a Co. La.
Otllice on Main street, three doors Est
ot Jwlir.n. ix 2
F. A. Snor.MAKF.it. YVm. IL Sechi.er.
.SHOEMAKER .t SECIILEiC,
AT K )UN E Y 'S - AT I . A V ,
E R E X S Ii U 11 d .
0tf.ee heretofore (ciq.iod by F. A Shce-
a. w. Hickman. B. F. not.i. -
G. W. HICKMAN &L CO.,
Wht.le.alo Dealers in
M A X U FACT LT RED TOBACCO.
I'0i:;:iGX AND DOMESTIC SEGARS.
K. E. COu. Till 111) tS: MALKET STREET.
August 13. lSGS.-!y.
-l- rcJ8l o;
0NKIY3I1 (IX V
&IAV.LS Tdti -aim
S3XVH VIH JiaaVUHd X82HOIH
BY OUR. 5KD.
" Once upon a time," as the " story
tellers " have it, we were sailing down the
great " father of waters," the Mississippi,
in the beautiful steamer, " Goddess of
Liberty," bound from St. Loui3 to New
Orleans. We had on board the usual
number of passengers but for some unex
plainable cause an unusual degree of nio-
notony. prevailed. "'Tis true ; , the card
ni:ivra wm-o ;if. wiirlt. with their aitpiis-
tomed energy, and little groups of passen
gers were earnestly engaged over the quiet
tamo of "checkers," or "draughts,"
1 while one little circle only were absorbed
in that old, but new popular game of
"class." A large number of passengers
wre sitting in the forward salotn, gazing
li?tl:ly at each other, apparently in Ptu- j
I pei (ictioii. i
j Ik-iiig of an acti'.c tetnperment and j
! fond of excitement, we could not suffer j
! enui upon such an occasion to get the up- !
! cv hand of us, so with a view to kicking ,
i up s.-'ine kind ot a rumpus, for our own i
, sake and the relief of the passengers gen- i
i II.. 1 1 111 . .1 t
";" ' v ur'irikii fu.f.i.v imt. iii i.'in.
";"V) - - f j
t:ui!S luee, and laid the whole matter be- ;
lore the dts-tinguhJied conitaatMler. !
" VV e h-ve no nieun on board, the
i captain remarked, " or we might wake
: the paosejigers up with a little hop on the
" Well," we replied (looking earnestly
over the list of the passenger iM) "we
must have some excitement, for the pas
sage is really wearisome."
J ust at that moment, our eyes fell
upon a name distinguished in the annals
of dtabtru no less a personage than the
celebrated wizard and ventriloquist, Sig
uor Iilkz. Here was indeed reason for
cn hu "Eureka," and, forth with, we
procerWed in search of the mysterious
wizard. In a few moments, the Sinor
j was found, quietly reposing in his state-
nnm, and t-ic whole difficulty eloquentiy
( j,e occasion called the eloquence) laid
jH,fre ,;m j!tz consented to create a
: li'.t'e " harmless fun," as he termed it ;
j but ttio sequel proved it more funny than
Ir.ir.-.b'ss. lint without anticipating, the
; iz it! entered the t-teward's apartment
j at i-i provitli'ig himself with a few huge
; sli" s of brend and obtaining some of his
i lit. I animate asist:llts, lie announced
hims.eif prepared, but remarked that we
j must select a good subject, for on that
' election dep?nds the fuu. We entered the
' forwsr-1 sa'.vn uoiwlessiy, ann-in-sm,
and advanced toward the quiet, sle'vy
j looking passengers, w ho were collected
j together without aim or object. While
runnii-g our eyes rapidly nromid the sa-
i Sunn in searcli of a vinin), our attention
was tit traded towards a young man
: dres-ed iii a deep suit of black, who was
deeply absorltcd in a book, which he was
! attentively perusing. We "nudged" the
Signor ; pointed signilicantly at the young i
! man, and received from the former an (
: nnirmntivc answer, by a quiet movement
of the hcr.d. The Signor picked up a
' stool, seated himself unceremoniously be
I tween the young stnu.ger an i the end of
t the table near by. This movement ;r
j rested the attention of the stranger, who i
! looked up, inquiringly. J
t " You seem to be. much interested in !
i your book, sir," the Signor remarked,
j " Yes, sir," he replied, "a good book
i is to me preferable to a good dinner."
Signor. "That depends upon the
i lrngth of time you have fasted. By the
way, I did not ee you at the dinner ta
Stranger. O, sir, I preferred my
Signor. " One dollar U high for sin-
g'.e meal ; I commonJ your economy." j
Stranccr (indignantly.) I eat when
htiti'pij, whatever the price !"
Svtti'.i- 44 T cTt:jo r.f pcnrmmr lift-
j cause I observed some provisions in your
j Stranger (in an offended tone. ) " Pro-
I T' fir ? 1 Tr no pnvisi,n wit
j nw 1 :i.lwa) s eat at the public table and
l'"U ur o "
j T be whole attention of the passengers
! was now centered upon the sneakers and
; considerable interest manifested by the
I company in the peculiar subject under
Signor (lifting up the young gent's hat
from his side, and passing it under 'the
eyes of the entire group.) "I do not
wish to offend you, sir ; but I see here
quite a supply of provisions !"
This created not a little merriment at
the expense of the stranger, which soon
increased to a laugh, as the wizard drew
forth elice after slice of the stale brctxd
E BENS. BURG, PA. WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1865:
from the young man's hat. The stranger 1
bit his hps in confusion, and fiixed his
gaze upon the Signor ; then, with a smile,
got up from his seat, and moved towards
4 ; Frightened f" say9 one of the lookers-on,
smiling at the sudden disappear
ance of the stranger.
Stranger (emerging from the state
room) " No ; not frightened, exactly. I
merely put away my book, because I find
there is going to be some fun abroad, and
when there's fun about, I want to be
'counted,' for that's my forte."
Looker-on enthusiastically " Good !
bravo, bravo ! Go it, little 'un your'e a
match for him !"
The stranger had barely finished his
remarks, when a loud yelping and snap
ping was heard at his heel, and the pas
sengers began to scatter, thinking a rabid
elog was in their midst ; but a few min
utes served to prove the barking and yel
ping another trick of the ventriloquist.
During the excitement about the dog,
the Signer seemed constantly brushing
something from behind his ear and be
coming much annoyed by a continual
buzzing at his head, requested one of the
passengers to examine his neck, for he was
fearful a wasp had taken passage on the
boat, anl was engaged in the exclusive
business of annoying him. An examina
tion proved the Signor's fears groundless,
and the fun with the stranger continued.
Now came the squealing of a pig, and, in
a few moments, the Signor to the great
amusement of th crowd, produced from
the stranger's Ixtsoni a small guinea pig,
which jumped and ran around the sa
loon as it' pleased at being released from
such hi: uncomfortable berth. Again the
Signor was seized with that periodical
attack of the wasp, and brushed in vain
with his hand, to rid hiuwif of the little
tormentor. Several i f the passenger
attempted to catch the refractory wasp,
but each attempt proved futile, and thr
attacks of the insects upon the Signor
soon became a portion of the general
amusement for the passengers, the buz-
zing ef the w asp producing as much fun
as any ( f the wizard's wonderful feats.
During all this time, the features of the
stranger remained placid, though his bril
liant eyes Hashed, and gave evidence of
no small amount of mischief lurking
within. The ventriloquist having failed
to effect the stranger he resolved to try
again, apparently determined not only to
bring down tnr boat, but to bring down
the stranger also.
Signor (stepping up to the young fctran
ger.) "Come, friend sing us a good
Bcng won't you ? Don't be so quiet."
Without further remark, the Signor
commenced his wonderful ventriloqual
singing powers by sinking a favorite air,
with a chorus of " Ri, tol lol IoL" &c,
each note of which appeared to come
from th3 mouth of the young stranger.
So complete was the allusion, that the
stranger received shouts tf applause at its
conclusion, and notwithstanding the stran
ger's positive denial of singing a single
word, the passengers insisted it was well
done. During the singing, the Signor
was again pestered with the buzzing in
his ear of that indefatigable wasp, and
seemed utterly unable to free himself
from the pertinacious insect.
" Now, remarked the stranger, "as
you insist I have leen singing, a son?,
though entirely unconscious of the act
myself I think it but fair that Blitz
s hou'd favor us with a song in return."
At the sound of Blitz's name all were
on the qui rir ; as the character of the
inveterate joker was understood, the par
ty insisted upon a song.
Blitz (earnestly,) " I tell you gentle
men, I ani no singer, never sang a song
in my lift", except ventriloqually."
A Voice "That's a whopper !"
Blitz (looking around) " who spoke ;
who says I can sing!"
A Voice (grullly,) I do."
Notwithstanding all effort to find the
speaker he was no est, and the bystanders
supposed the voice a trick of the Signor's.
A voice, (apparently from the Signor,
who was again annoyed with the buzzing
of the wasp,) "I'll sing I'll sing."
Blitz. " Gentlemen. I did not speak
I cannot sing ; there must be a ventrilo
quist here !"
A oice tapparentiy u:e r?ignoi s-j
"Should old acquaintance be forgot."
Passengers. "Oh gooel Heavens!
don't sing that !"
Blitz. "I am not singing, gentlemen;
this is a trick a ruse ; there's "
The song and remarks of the Signor
were interrupted by another attack of the
wasp, and the passengers were laughing
immediately at the efforts of the Signor
to keep ofl the stinging, buzzing, intruding
Signor. " Gentlemen, let me xplain ;
there is another ventriloquist here. I
sure of it, and I think this stringer, our
friend, must be the man !"
Passenger (addressing the stranger,)
" Are ycui a ventriloquist ?"
Stranger (blandly). " When at home,
I am !"
Blitz staring at the young stranger,
" And your name is "
Stranger smiling. " Wvman, the
wizard and ventriloquist 2"
Blitz. "And the confounded wasp
was nothing more nor less than "
Stranger interrupting. " Wyman the
The two wizards shook hands heartily,
while the jjassengers enjoyed a laugh
which fairly shook the boat from stem to
stern, and for the balance of the trip there
was no end to the fun. The boat was
stopped by Blitz, starteel by Wyman ;
Blitz got up a false alarm of fire, and
Wyman burst the boiler to the holy horror
of several old maids. Blitz bolted whole
potatoes at the table. Wyman stowed
away chickens alive and kicking. Blitz
had a dozen waiters constantly bringing
the wrong dishes. Wyman had dogs and
cats under the table ; and between them
both, the splendid steamer, " Goddess of
Liberty," was completely turned into an
immense stage, with the " Comedy of
Errors" upon it for the amusement of
three hundred passengers.
Both wizards have since become inti
mately acquainted ; and they have many
a hearty laugh at the fun created on the
Mississippi by the rival ventriloquists.
Radical Cliauges lu Fashions.
A Paris correspondent of the Index
gives notice of some curious, and, as she
says, " radical" changes in ladies' dress,
in the most fashionable circles of the cen
ter of tahsion. Her tliscriptions will be
sure to interest many of our hidy readers.
She writes :
" In ladies' evening toilets it is impossi
ble not to perceive a decided tendency
toward a radical change. This change,
or reform, is as yet conlined to the very
elite st' fashionable societ', but by a well
known and invariable law will doubtless
extend in another season or two to all
classes thi pretend to ' dress,' and not
merely to be clothed.
" At Couipeigne this winter one might
have fancied one's self at the court of the
Empress Josephcue, so close was the
imitation to the fashion of the first empire.
Crinolines were eliscarded, the skirts
being narrow, almost tight ; the waists
very short, cut in the shape of a heart in
front, and supported by broad waistbands
with fancy clasps ; the materials worn
v.-ere dotted with gold stars or bees ; the
hair, much raised behind, was artistically
disposed in a mass of tiny ringle ts upon
the forehead, and encircled by a diadem
of massive gold or of precious stones.
Bich necklaces, extremely' long ear-rings,
and gloves coining far over the wrist,
completed the illusion of a return to the
taste of Ma'maison."
She adds somewhat wickedly :
" Few styles of toilet are more trying
to female lovliness. If a woman is truly
beautiful it singularly enhances the effect
of her natural graces, of the elegance and
ease of her every movement. On the
other hand what a risk of revelations
which the cunning art of the dressmaker
has no longer the same discretion to pre
vent ! For this reason it is to be expect
ed that the new fashion will be slow in
raining universal favor.
Another contemplated change is to re
vive with muslin for evening parties.
Female society would thus elivide itself
into two elascs ; the riches eleyautes w ho
will wear satin of embroidered gros de
Najtks, or velvet braided with fur, toilets
which for a dinner party are considered
of the last elegance ; and the sinyltttcs,
who will please modest white muslin.
Economy is given as the reason for tin's
return to an almost discarded fashion ;
but we all know how severely exacting is
this most 'simple' of toilets.
"For morning dress in the country and
at the watering, or rather wintering pla
ces in the south of France, long skirts
have very sensibly been discarded. The
skirt is worn tucked up over short fancy
petticoats. The short, tight-fitting ca&pw,
held by a wide waistband, is of the same
material as the skirt, generally a pretty
English made gray or seime darker shade.
The petticoat is cashmere of a lively
color, either blue, red or lilac, edivened.
by a small flounce, and ornamented with
some trimmings or braiding, according to
taste. An English hat, Polish but tines,
stockings of the same color as the petti
coat, and straw- colored dog skin gloves,
complete a walking costume as pictur
esque as it ie convenient."
Letter from a Scresli Soger to
Camp of 1st S. C. Gravbacks, before
a Swamp and bkhinu Petersbukg or
TUEKilA BOLTS, Jtl.Y 31, 1SGI.
Jiclm-cd of ?i.' Soul : Your war-worn
husband takes his pen in hand in a stange
land, on a foreign strand, under the com
mand of our mutual friend, Colonel Piuck
Buzzard, of Kainwater Court House,
S. C. My pen is pale and I have no ale.
My ink is poor art! so is my grub. My
quarters in camp are passable, but the
quarters in my pocket are not. Last
night I had a mud puddle for my pillow,
and covered myself with a sheet of water.
I long for more whiskey barrels and less
gun barrels, more biscuit and less bullets.
I low I wish you were here. The further
I get away from you the better I like you.
So that you may know how we work
here in defiance of the cussed Y'ankee I
send you, what d'ye call it a diary of
my daily labor.
Five o'clock. Called up from a roll
in the mud by a roll of drums. No pros
pect of a roll of bread. Shoulder spades.
Half-past live to six, A. M. I dig and
throw up the earth. Get sick and throw
up my yesterday's rations.
Seven o'clock. Another roll of drums.
Filing off into line and defiling rny inex
pressibles with mud and other sacreel soil,
drawing ramrods but no pay. No shelling
out by Government, but a cussed sight too
much shelling out by Grant.
Nine o'clock. More drilling, but not of
the cotton kind, wherewith to increase my
present supply of one shirt.
Ten o'clock. More digging. Spadular
researches into the geological formation of
the earth. Find it to comprise alternate
stratas of sweat, sunstroke, swearing and
Twelve o'clock. Evidences of dinner.
Saw Captain Yawslack picking his teeth
with a ten-penny nail, and the corporal
taking a chew of tobacco.
Oh, Mariar, if you only knew what I
have suffered to save you from being
bombarded by the diabolical Yankees ?
Bather than any of the Northern scum
should blockade my dear Mariar I'd di
vorce her. Colonel Piuck come very
near being shot in the neck by one of his
The Colonel had just got his staff to
gether, and struck his noble steed with it
when Captain Swipes leveled a bottle at
him. Fortunately the contents missed
his jugular, and went down the natural
way. I am reduced to a skeleton. My
eyes are sunk so far info my head that I
can look down my windpipe clean through
my whole interior.
If there was a hole in the top of my
head I'd make a first class telescone. (I've
got the glasses in mo now). Mv chin is
so sharp it shaves itself. I am going on
picket duty to-night. Picket duty is aw
ful hard work. Almost every night a
picket's gun goes off, and when we go to
look for him we finel he has gone off too.
Ever your dear husband,
F. S If your old father has elrank up
all the tangleroot juice I left at home, I'll
cram the demijohn elown his throat and
cork up his sarcophagus with a boot heel.
That's so Mariar.
How tiif. Devil Lost. The follow
ing is too good to be lost : A young man
who ardently desired wealth, was visited
by his Satanic Majesty, who tempted him
to promise his soul for eternity if he could
be supplied on this earth with all the mo
ney he could use. The bargain was con
cluded ; the devil was to supply the
money, and was at last to have the soul,
unless the young man could spend more
moneiy than the devil could furnish. Years
passed away, the man married, was ex
travagant in his living, built palaces,
speculated widely, lost and gave away
fortunes, and yet his coffers were id ways
full. He turned politician, and bribed
his way to power and fame, without re
ducing his "pile" of gold. lie beenmc
a "filibuster," and fitted out ships and
armies, but his banker honored all his
drafts. He went to St. Paul to live, and
paid the usual rates of interest for all the
money tie could borrow ; but though the
devil made wry faces when he came to
pay the bills, yet they were all paid. One
expedient after another failed ; the devil
counted the time, only two yeara, that he
must wait for the soul, aui os kcti the
effort of the diipairin; muiv One more
trial waa reaolved upontha mao started
a newspaper ! The devil growled at the
bill at titd eml of tUe firsi quarter, was
savage in i months, OMdancholj ia nine
and broken de'-ad broke "at the end
of the year. So the newspaper went
down, but the soul was mytvi.
VOL. 12-NO. 5.
I-ROZKN 1 OTATOtt-TlK, who are
unfortunate as to hav poutoea W
may find comfort from tLo Ga niarttown
" If your potatoes freeze n the cellar
don't wait for them to thaw, but throw
them into a conical Leap, either whera
they are, or in the open air, and cover
them w ith dirf, straw, shavings, old
-clothes, or cLaff, packed tight with them,
and they are safe. The coaer will pre
vent sudden changes, which causes all the
ruise-hief. I have saved frozen potatoes
in this way ; it may be new to some of
your readers, and may be of use to them,
as it has been to me."
ear The late King of Prussia once
sent to an aid-de-camp, Colonel Malatc
howski, who was brave but poor, a small
portfolio, bound like a book, in which
were deposited five hundred crowns;
sometime afterwards he met the officer
and said to him, " Ah, well, how did
you like the new work which I sent you '
" Excessively, sire," replied the Colonel,
" I read it with such interest that I ex
pect the second volume with impatience,"
The King smiled, and when the officer's
birthday arrived, he presentee! him with
another portfolio, similar in every respect
to th first, but w ith these words engraved
upon it : " This book is complete in
A droll story is related of an hon
est oia iariucr, who, in attemptino-
dnvc home a bull, got suddenly hoisted
over a lence. Ifecovenng himself, he saw
the animal on the other side of the rails,
sawing the air with his Lead and neck,
and pawing the ground. The good old
man looked steadily at him a moment and
and exclaimed. " Darn your apolcies,
you needn't stand there, you 'tarnal critter,
bowin' and seapitf you did it a purpose,
darn your curly pictur?"
O- A man applied to Dr. Jackson
the celebrated chemist of Boston, with a
box of specimens :
Can you tell me what this is, sir?
Certainly I can, sir ; that is iron DT-
" What, sir?" in a voice of thunder.
" Iron pyrites."
" Iron pyrites ! and what is that !"
" That's what it is," said the chemist,
putting a lot on the shovel over the hot
coal?, whre it disappeared. "Dross.-
And what is Iron pyrites worth V
"Nothing! Why there's a woman
who owns a hill full of that in our town,
and I've married her !"
tJ" Heaven bless the wives! Ther
fill our hives with little bees and honey.
They ease our life's shocks, they mend
our socks, but don't they spend the money!
When we are sick they heal us quick
that is, if they do love us ; if not, we
die, and yet they cry, and raise tomb
stones above us.
tW During a recent performance of
Borneo and J uliet at Marblehead, the
fair Juliet's question in the soliloquy be
fore taking the sleeping draught. What
if this mixture does not work at all ? was
answered by an urchiu in the pit 4Then
take a dose of pills.
tW " Benevolence," said Sidney Smith,
ina charity sermon, " is a sentiment
common to humnn nature. A never see
B in distress without wishing C to relieve
him !" liochefocault never said a more
brilliant thing than that, nor one mor
ter A philosopher writes to a tailor
who had tailtfd to get ready his wedding
suit : " It was no serious disappoint
ment ; only I should have been married
if I had received the goods." That man
will never be seriously disappointed.
-5- A sack of flour which has been
sold and resold in California and Oregon
for the benefit of the Sanitary Commission
till the sum of $00,000 ban tien paid for
it, is now on its way East to go through
a similar process.
Substitute fob Bcxtek. Marry the
nicest girl you know. You will then
have her to preside at your breakfast
table, and unlt-s you are a ajul dog in
deed, you will not require any lui-her.
A modern physiohist notes
extraordinary fact that at the dinner table
every time a man crooks his elbow hi
CT" A dowa eat editor declare tha)
au'miy is quality that highly adorns a
woman but ruiu a man.
C2 When a belle ia xnarriatL doae kr