a
IF 1 I il II 1 1 I i
1
43
1
THE BLESSINGS OF GOVERNMENT, LIKE THE DEWS OF HEAVEN, SHOULD BE DISTRIBUTED ALIKE. UPON THE HIGH AND THE LOW, THE RICH AND THE
POOR.
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'iiuswcss (Lares.
MTAUGlildX, A i !!. y
at I.::
3 9 . .iiint,.wii. Pa. in ' in the Kx-
i.:inge huiloing, on the Cu r ol C.Ui'.ov
Mnl Locust s-t reels upstairs. Will a'H-n.
t ;iT I bu.-imss connected with hi.- pi ol-. .-i -n
WILLIAM KirTELL.
iimt ;it ato, bcnsburg,
C ambria County Peima.
UJtlce C'olonatlc row.
Dec. 4. ISfj
IV lil'S L. l'MRSlIlN'" ;, I'-so- Vttoi-.nkv
J at Law, Johnstown, Camilla Co. l'a.
i Mlice on Main street, second lloor ovu
Hank. ix 2
1)
It. T. V. S. rilner,
rilYMCIAX AND SC IK ! ' )X.
Tfii.li-is liis pn.RS.-ioiial sciviie to t'ne
i'.i.eii.- ol
K HENS r. U 11 c ,
:i:i,i mii roiiti'liH'.: vii inilv.
(tFI ICK IN CUl ONWDK KW.
lune 2'.t, 18tM-tt'
J. II. Scanlais,
A T T C) II N L V A T L A W .
LliENMHliO. 1'a.,
OI-TICK ON MAIN STilLTT. Till;!!-:
1 MM HIS I'AT ok riiK LOGAN HOLSK.
December 10, IMJU.-Iy.
1. L. . Johnston. Geo. W. i iat.ian.
JOHNSTON U OATH AN,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
Kbensburg Cambria County I'enna.
OIT-TCK HL.MOVLD TO LI.OVD ST.,
tOnc d.Hr West of 11. L. Johust. n's lliis-
i.I. nce. I Dec. 4. l!-ol. h:
Law, Eben.-burg, Caiiiiria county l'a.
Miiee on Main stieet adi i ni I i ' iiis ilwc!
J O
14. ix 2
p S. NOON,
-l ATTORNEY AT LAW.
l- r.ENSl'.UIIC,. CAMHLIA (JO.. I'A.
'Ili-e .inc .'...or Flast of the; lVst Oiiiee.
F.'h. IS. lsii3.-tf.
G
1.1a 'KG L M. 11KLID,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
EUEXSU LUG,
CauJiria Ciin!;, l'r.
OITIC:-: IN tOLJNALE 1U)W.
March l.syl.
11C11A1:L HASsnX, l'.si. Attorney
at Law, Loeii-l.uru.Caiiibna Co. l'a.
'iliice on Main street, three doois
Last
II Julian. ix 2
W. HICKMAN.
II. F. IK H.I.
C. W. HICKMAN 8l CO.,
Wholesale Dealers in
MANL'FACTCULI) TOI'.ACCO.
'ii::iGN and domestic skgars.
SNUFFS. -o.
p. E. COd. THIllD & MA11KET STUKET.
l'lULADELriJIA.
Au-'ut 13. lSUS.-Iy.
f '. w. MA1R. JOHN S. HWImoN.
M A I i: .V- 1) A V ION,
IMI'OUTEUS ASU HKALEKS IN
hADDLKUY, CALKIAt'll AXD TL'XKK
IIAKDWALE A: TKIMMINUS,
SADDLES & HARNESS.
i" o . 12 7, V o l Street,
1 ITIT'SIUMIGII. PA.
r,1 Ik l:l.'IVt' liH.rn v - rti
HA UN ESS, SKIUTlX(i AND LIH-
ILE LE.VTHE1LS.
June 17, 1803 ly.
,'nr Kent. ' "
An ollico on Centre Stni t
' -t d.M .r north if Esq. Kinkca.l's nflice.
"S-ossiou ivcii imnuIiatel v.
.JOSEPH M'DONALD
April 13,
The 'ew Yankee took ESuok.
(From the Philadelphia Aye.)
It is beginning to be a grave question
with the mass of people, not what they
shall eat, but whether they shall cat at ail.
Those of our laboring population who
have not been given to the grave or the
hospital, in the prosecution ol this aboli
tion war, are left at home to contend with
the wolf which hangs about the poor
man's door to face the spectacle, as hor-
l rible as carnage, of starved wives and
ragged children, clamorous for the bread
which there is no money to buy. Of the
thousands of millions winch this war has
cost, and for which the laborer is taxed,
not a penny finds its way into his pocket.
New England contractors and manufactur
ers daily grow inordently rich on the price
of blood, and the mass of people who
work for their bread, hour by hour, grow
poorer and still snore poor, march's!!:;
steadily downward from common poverty
to downright beggary, and from beggary
ftraig'ifway to starvation. The worst
lias not yet conu but it is fast coining.
Four years ago every house in the land
was lioodcd ui'.h Abolition tract.-, dein
! ons!ra:ing. that .-lacry in the Souiii op
' i tv'd to d'.'graile labor ami to keep down
i'.ie ".vage.- oi the tree workinginen of the
i Ni.:rth. -Many a poor man whose lamily
! s it around a well spread board, whose
wages siilii-ed not merely to support them
m coiniori and to dress them in neatness,
but yielded a surplus to be laid by fof a
rainy day, was seduced by these lying ap
peals to Lis pa.-.-ions and his pride, to vote
for Abraham Lincoln. lie has now had
four years of that glorious an ! minimal
rule which the Abolitionists pictured out
for him in their camp, ign documents.
If he has been fortunale enough to escaj e
the (hogs of conscription, if he has not
bled and rolled like his brother or son on
some tiuitle.-s balt!e-lie!d ot the South, if
I'.U wu is not . t a helpless wilowand
his children orphaned begg.-irs. if he has
been respited from these horrors until
another cail for troops summons him
to the bloody shambles of Abjiition he
has b-vn reserved for a fate not much
better.
It is a fact that even the bold menda
city of tin; Abolitionists dare not deny,
that the means of living, of purchasing
commonest necessities of life, (its smallest
luxuries are out of the question.) are fast
getting out of reach of the man who e:u ns
his bread by the sweat of his brow. Lat
ter lias been given up by the poor man
! Ioult JiUteiiers meat, with I he ev-
ceptions of th'. p cecs which in Democrat
ic days were fed to dogs and cats, has
become a luxury hopelessly out of his
reach. Tea and collie are practically as
far beyond the capacity of his purse as
Champagne or Johanisburg. The pipe
that solaced his intervals of rest must be
put away. The time is at hand when lie
must either feed like a beast on the olFal
of the markets or not feed at all. His
wages it is true, have-nominally advanced
but he is paid in depreciated paper, not
worth forty cents o:i the dolhirnnd (he
miserable rags which are counted out to
him for his week's work, are the only
chi.Hji things he eer Sees. Well mav he
i ... i : . it
t iy inn m ni.- tjisiress ;
On, Cod, that bread s.h.Mild be so dear.
And flesh and blood So cheap !
This state of things is truly alarming.
The suilerings and cries of some nations
may be stiflled by the bayonet a genera
tion reared from infancy on crusts, may
patiently eat crusts to old age but a peo
ple like ours, habituated to the comforts
of life, led in plenty on its meats and
fruits, cannot be trained to starve in de
cent submission, or to die beggars in loyal
felicity. The mutterings that are to be
heard now in every workshop mid on
every street corner forebode a storm which
is assuredly coming, and which cannot
long be delayed. (Jod help the heads on
which its lightnings break !
I he Yankees are not unmindful of this
state of things, not forgetful of the fact
that we are indebted to than for its exis
tence. They have made a good thing of
this war. The treasures of all the rest of
the land have been poured into their
yawning pockets. They have done their
lighting chicily by proxy, and under pre
tence of elevating the black, are represent
ed in the field to day by hordes of miser
able negroes, kidnapped from the planta
tions of the border States, and marched
otf to le butchered for the "Sons of I'ih.
grims." They are hounding on the war
because it pays them in money and costs
tlu 'in nothing in blood. They are richer
better fed and more indeendent than at
any period since the Maytlower spilled its
load of nialignants upon l'lyuioth Lock.
Lut this crafty people are wise enough
to see that the general distress among the
j jHior, winch is hecoumij more manifest
EBENSBURG, PA. WEDNESDAY, AUGUST
every day, bodes them no good. It may
culminate in revolution, which miyht re
sult in their fatal and ignominious expul
sion from a Union which they now lind
so profitable. At any rate, if not allevi
ated or subdued, this distress may, by
the fierce and determined union of the
masses, ttoji the war, which would be to
New England a stoppage of the sluices
of the Liver of Life.
Lecognizing these alarming facts, ap
prehending this distress and the dire dis
content it is breeding, the Yankees have
hit upon a most cheap and notable plan to
diffuse general content among the people,
and to reconcile the poor man to his cold
bones and mouldy cheese pavings. This
plan we will now proceed to unfold.
Kvery day some new scheme appears in
the Yankee newspapers for making weeds
palatable and garbage delicious. Learned
philosophers publish statistical tables,
showing, in the most conclusive manner,
and from actual experiment upon factory
children and their daddies, that the cheap
est things are invariaoly the mod wholesome
and dhjuLblc, and that the health and
happiness of the laborer are precisely in
proportion to his dinners. This strange
discovery, which slumbered through all
that long and dark period in which the
Democratic party controlled the (lovcrn
ment and kept the Union safe, is enforced
every day by the published lucubrations
of some fresh philosopher who has discov
ered the fattening properties cf seme new
fragment of offal. I
It seems that cur people, ns lately
as the Administration of Air. Iki
chnnan, have been gorgiag themselves
with deadly poisons in the shape of beef
steaks, butter, eggs and fowls. These
and other fat dishes with which the la
borer used to regale himself, it has bcin
demonstrated by the New England sages,
had a tendency to make him bloated and j
pimply, to becloud his brain, disqualify J
him for work aand heat his blood up to a !
I tm-inJeiit :md revolutionary :oiiif. The
diet which these good men, through their
rcpri sentatives in Congress, have com
pelled him to resort to, although at urst
unpalatable, are perhaps so at last, has a
tendency to repress corpulence, to thin the
secretions, to cool the temper, and to in
duce a loyal and submissive state of mind
eminently necessary in these times o! high
taxes, quarterly drafts, and daily ki '.nap
pinirs. Thus, while the body of the
workman is kept entirely free from any
adipose incumbrances, the body politic is
at the same time saved from fevers, erup
tions, and convultions which might rack
it to pieces.
It would be laughable, if the facts
which have inspired the Y'ankccs were
not so stem and gloomy, to watch these
miserable shifts to w hich they have re
sorted to reconcile people- to empty bellies,
(ireely, gorged with Champagne and canvas-backs
at Delmonico's, breaks nut after
dinner in a most touching c.Msiiiun of
the dangers of eating butter, and the dis
orders that lurk in meat, which startles
the readers of the morrow's Tril-ne. A
thousand smaller t-crihblers echo his cry.
( )ne philosopher levels his artillery at eggs,
and an i;!,.t directs a murderous tire at
poultry. Another r;li'-', at on? fell swoop,
lops vegitables from the list of things eat
able. ( )ur word f-r it, that nine out of
ten of tlu'se varlets cat three enormous
meals per diem, to say nothing of night
suppers, and that the dish against which
each man sjecilly directs his eloquence,
is the very one of which he eats the most.
Having thus reduced the poor man's
bill of fare until they have left nothing
on it tit for a civilized being to eat, they
kindly furnish recvpts for sweeining the
t: int....) j i-.r ii-.v:ll-barre;s. and convert imir
the sweepings o! in - market-stalls into
appetizing dishes. The working man,
who, in the days of Luehanan, sat down
to meat, coffee, batter and vegetables, as
he gazes at his bare board and' empty
plate, instead of these vulgar substantiate,
is now regaled with a little Lo.-ton tract,
showing that he was bloating himself in
those horrible times, and was little better
than a ravenous beast. Thus as beggary
approaches, u the Yankees, who have
brought him' to it, kindly paint its beau
ties for him in rainbow colors, and. have
left him nothing to cat, kindly tender him
an admirable sauce for making it palata
ble. Lefore ninny months are passed, so
rapidly are the Yankees advancing in the
discovery of printed panoceas for hunger,
that we may expect to see articles like
this crowding the columns of their news
papers :
I Fom the New York Tribune, Jan., 1st,
GOOD NEWS FOR THE LAUGHER.
We learn that Doctor Winthrop Dunsliun
ncx, an eminent chemist of Wcatherficld,
ha., discovered that dirt the pure soil upon
which wo treat I convertible into a mo&t j
cxefllcnt and wholesome article "f diet.
Dr. D. was led to this important discovery
by the rellcctiou, that the Patagonia ns and
other prosperous and athletic tribes of sava
ges, make dirt a portion of their daily ban
quets, feed their children upon it ami swal
low it in large quantities, and with infinite
gusto. This undeniable fact sucste l to
the Doctor a proposition equally" undenia
ble, to wit, that inasmuch as the vegetable
productions upon which we have been in
the habit of subsisting all spring from the
soil, the soil itself must contain all the nu
tritious elements which find their way into
the placts which clothe its suvficc. In a
word, an acre of good, stiff mud bears tl.e
same relation to corn, potatoes, teas r.mi
bean.-, that a bag of wheat does to a bar
rel of well-bolte.l white flour. Whc.it is
not flour, but the Hour contains uofl. J.,.r
which is not in the wheat. Mud i-s not f ori;
Dor is it peas, but everything pond in corn
ami peas comes out .f the mud.
The benefits which must acruc to our
welkin;; classes from this discovery will be
seen at a glauce. Henceforth the laborer
need have no anxiety about butchers' meat
or market money. He can laugh at hiirh
prices. Every clod on which he ttoads i; a
choice dinner of a:-soi ted vegetables. The
muddy waalangs of the gutter will furnish
dm with a delectable soup, and sh-u!,i !
a.'io so' uio iiis
uh crave more solid sustenance he will
l::i
V.'e learn that Dr. Dun.dnmm r has prepaied
a l umber of valuable receipts by which the
poor man will be able to lend to his ii ex
pciisive and convenient banquets a zest
which the rich often hick over grcn turiie
Mid Champagne.
From the Uoaton Commonwealth, Jar.. H,
1805.
A ST 11 A Mi E FACT.
Tlie gloiioiis struggle f. r national exist
ence ami negro emancipation in w hich we
are now emia-ed, lui.s taeght mr p oplc
many priceless lessons, but none inoic pre
cious than the sinful extravagance in die! ii,
which wc h: "ulged in the ideated davs of
peace.
i.verv
the
rtsCiiClae.-
o
!-hi!..soj.hy develop tae nutritive I properties
oi siie- siinstanee wl.icii we n-ed jq-l.tn-tier
t r i cspi.-o when p:'.n-p(icd and i-v. r l'.-l
o-i lie unwholesome tlc.-h ol :
Wilis'.. lp l 'i!:;.-hi.m el oi We.i
.nim-ds. L
proved iii;:..-eif olic of the beld.utoiS of
his race by his exposition of the fattening
power ef diil. Hat he has now f o.uid a li
val in Prof. Window Perkinpine, of Har
vard, who h is tii.-covired that the - !le.-h oi
the common grr.sshoppor (the ji:i;:iiccror
hcrbnyia of modern climoiigisi.-) c ntaiu
115 per cent, t f nutiimcnt a large x ess
over beef, mutton, p..ik and other is.ci i
ble garbage of the stalls.. It Las I.-ng been
ktiowu that the Digger Indians, of Caiif.iN
uia, one of the most comely and iiil il:;;eiit
races of people upon ti e globe, f 'loic.
the uncoirii; ted instincts of nature, make
the grasshopper their j rim ipal article f dii t,
and, in the abscence of all other kinds of
food, conilne themselves rigidly to the ller.L
of this alert and nutiilive insect. Crass it
self is si'iaetimes addtd to their banquets
greatly to their benefit, and the acid juie
which it contains having a tendency to sub
line the somewhat rich and iulkimatory state
of the blood produced by the constant use
of hopper-meat. Doubtless Proffes.-or lYr
kinpine i5, in some degree, indebted to the
Diggers f r his piccioiia discovery. Wc h'arn
that Proffcssor P. has compounded several
rich soups and hashes by an admixture of
proper quantities of grasshopper tlcsh with
water and j ulvcrized tan. and that they
have been introduced at the "Svklicrt: A'(.:,7,"
in Iioston, with great success. It has been
found that half a howl fid of of Ike appc
ti. ing di.she.-5 suffices to saci.ite the r.; : t
rugged veteran, and, in many in: tances,
stout men have gone away :!;pe:ed
with a teaspoonfu!. It is even - alleged
that in home ea.-es the mere odor of these in
valuable compounds has availed to relieve
the conscript of his appetite.
With discoveries like these every day
bursting upon us the laborer may well bid
defiance to poverty and hunger, and cr.n
without serious privation give ull of his
earnings; instead cf nine-tenths, f.r tl.e
support of the Government and the libera
tion and sustenance of the noble 11 c!;.
While In: is at his day's labor, l is chihhv:.
can with ease and benefit to themselves se
cure a hatful of grasshoppers, and iih
such a lat-ftl before him and a glass of ure
cold water to was'i it down, what more eau
he wish.' God Ulcus Aiiraham JJib-u'n!
And so the world goes on the war
bleeds an 1 beggars us, ami the Yankee;
of New KuglanJ entertain us with cdito
rial specifics lor emptiness and rags. Vt'c.
rcmember, in our youth, being vastly in
verted with the story of a penurious 1 au
kee, who provided his horse with a pair
of green spectacles, and imposed, chopped,
shavings upon the poor beast lor hay.
This nation is like that poor beast. All
the good things of this world have been
stripped frt-ui us by the Abolitionists, and
we are lelt to munch shavings n-r nay.
The Yankees who have plundered us ot
our substance, kindly tenders us the green
sjieetaclcs to frc.-hen and brighten our
dry forage but even their spctacles are
of that copper-rimmed quality with which
Moses Primrose, at the fair, was diddled
out of the trood Vicar's colt.
"You want Hoggin, that's what you
do," said a parent to his unruly son
"1 know it .lad, but I'll try to get along
without it," was the reply.
10, 1864.
voice from Across tfe Sea
Apneas to Hie American Ico
ESe li-oiu tlie Soclelj- lor Ob
taining l!ie Cessation of ia0s
tiiitic.s in America.
215 Lhgent sTia.KT. London, W,"
July 1. j"
The society which has the honor to
make this appeal, desires to approach you
as friends and kinsmen, and in the name
of humanity and religion.
It represents, in fact or in feeling, the
great bulk of the intelligent, the reflecting
and the dispassionate infnds on this side
of the atlantic, and it hopes not to lie con
sidered impertinent or interfering or par
tial in the task it has undertaken, For
in very deed, the conflict in which you
are engaged i.-; one which touches most
deeply the vital interests of humanity and
religion throughout the world.
Jn -the first place, we would submit
that Lurope witnessed with pain the com
mencement, and has watched with the
grealest anxiety the progress and develop
ment of the civil war. It has witnessed,
aLo, in p;;!U"u-a! silence, thougii far from
imlit'iererence, the will, the energy, and
the resource with whi.-h the war has been
prosecuted on !h; one hand the bitter
ness ol h'eimg. the enormous pressure
upon naiiomd fiuau'-es, the .-laughter, the
devastation, and the failure which have
characterized it on the other. The time
has now come when reflecting people
everywhere, yea, and in your own country
too, stop and ask themselves to what pur
pose is nil this waste '. What gain can
possibly accrue to any living- being, save
to the few holders f office and their per
sonal friend.-, from a luriher coiuinuatice
of this fratricidal strife?
In the next place, wc would submit
whether the future historians of liuroqe,
ur of Ann-rioa in calmer moments, will
not and ouuhi not exonerate the poopie of
the seceded States from the charge of re
beiiion mi I (reason, seeing they have un
derstood I its federal compact in the light
in which the founders of the republic un
derstood if. These unquestionably held
that the States were. so reigntk S; even be
fore the the Constitution was written the
Slates were proclaimed to be free, sovreign
and iudepei.d lit States : and as such
wi ie recognised by the powers of Kuropo.
in ,'rtr ."Magna Chat la doctrines, j.-tid
down as self-evident truths, nre that all
rightful government springs from the con
sent of the gowrned. that all people have
the right to alter, t h.auge or amend their
form of government :A pleasure.
In the exercise t f thi- right the people
of almost every SL.te have altered their
constitution, some of tin in we believe
more than once and the right to do so
has not been questioned. lut wc may
go further, and ask the sober judgment of
the North to what end is this war wa
ged ? Suppose Northern arms to be suc
cessful in subjugating the seceded Stales,
assuredly the Constitution gives no power
to hold them as conquered provinces.
Success then would defeat the object of
the war; for instead of restoring the
Union and pits rviug your ins'.itations,
ihe triumph of your arms would overturn
the one and destroy the other.
:-ue:i
tain t
the view.-, am! opinions which
.is si.ls- of ihe water, and which
this
dailv ta!
in.; deeper and deeper root.
.Moivov.
is, that
.e growing feeling in Kan pe
has been fried to its utmost,
and that it has failed in
l!
ic
object tor
which it was undertaken.
We would further appeal to yon, friends
and brother-, by tit-; cries of di-dess
which com.; over the wafers from both
sections tf your otnitry, and also by
the -ore-sure which the war t.'n rc ( otails
upoii the laboi"mg classes here, In con-
iu. .nee of the resfnea-
f !.:. i-w-J i. .:-.s ehieh t.v -nr
has laid upon cerium branches ol com
merce, many necessary articles, especially
clothing, have been doubled and trebe'ed,
and in some cases even quadrupled in
value. It is estimated that Hie people of
these i.-lands, who, before the war, paid
anmmli
for cotton goods consumed bv
ihein less than .l':?o,n)0,tt!0, paid lust
year not less than .l,(i0i),iitM), with
the probability of having to pay this year
Hourly .Or-V (),')!);. The scarcity of
eoftoii has enhanced, also, the price of
linen ami woolen goods without causing a
corresponding increase in the price of la
bor ; so that the. working classes in Lng
! and, l-'rance, ISclgtm'i and Spain, are not
only compelled to go nioiv scantily chid,
but to submit to a tax imposed upon their
hard earnings to an enormous amount.
Hut turning from all considerations of
a mere material to those of a purely social
nature, we implore you to look upon that
crowd of widows and orphans into whose
once peaceful homes the avenging sword
has carried death and desolation, and ask
w hellier the moheh of ambition is not yet
satiated .' Is it not time that the del rov
ing ao"i I -hoold :tay hi- hand f So
VOL. 1 1 -NO. 32
I sfrongly do the teople of this country feel
I on.-.. .... - r
u,,, ii,,., iwuii, nun petitions have been,
and are weekly being presented to Parlia
ment from the clergy and laity of various
parishes in the counties of Yorkshire
Staffordshire, Cumb,erland, Iancashire',
Sussex, Sununitshirc, Warwickshire, Nor
folk, Lerkshire, Shropshire, Noitingham
shire, Kent, Wiltshire, . Lincolnshire,
Cornwall, Devcnshire, Oxfordshire and
.Middlesex ; from the counties of Dublin,
Cork, Tippcrary, (ialway, Watcrford,
ueen's county, Sligo, Longford, Antrim-,
Loscommon. Cavan. Leitrim and Meath,
in Ireland, setting forth that a stron" mid
ina-eafiny feeling exists in the country
tnai ner majesty s ministers should, in
accord with the sentiments of more than
tari.ty nuiitonc. of our people tender to
joui government u tneinlly projiosal to
make this campaign the last. And we
are not speaking a! random when we say
that the governments both of England and
i'rance are only awaiting a response from
your midst to give effect to the humane
wishes of the petitioners: and aid, if you
will but consent, in establishing a perma
nent and honorable peace.
In the name of ihe man- thousands we
represent, ami echoeing, in Uio foregoing
sentiments, the feelings and aspirations of
your kinsmen in the old world,
1 hae the honor to be,
Dy authority of the Executive Committee
cry respectfully yours,
I-'. W. Tkkmi.kt, M. A.,
1 Icnorary Coriesponding Secretary
t:;-y A certain judge having been called
on at a public meeting, for a song, regret
el that it was not "m his power to gratify
Ihe company. A wag who was present
observed. lie was much surprised at the
refusal, as if was notorious that numbers
had been transported by his voice."
t;" "Mr. Smith," said the counsel,
; yon sa y you once officiated in a pulpit
do you mean that yon preached ?"
'"No sir? I held the candle for a man
who did " " Ah, the court understood
you differently. They supposed that the
discourse canto from you.'' "No, sir;
I only throwed a light on it."
c.;:A countryman walking along New
ork found his progress stopped by a
barricade of lumber, and he asked w hat
it was for. "O, thats to stop the yellow
fiver." was the reply. "Eli ? I have
often heard of the board of health, but
i never saw one before."
One day a little girl about five
years old, heard a preacher of a certain
denomination praying most lustily till the
roof rang with the strength of his impli
cations Turning to her mother and
beckoning the maternal car to a speaking
distance, she whispered: '.Mother, don't
you think that if he lived nearer to God
lie wouldn't have to pray so loud ?"
Such a question is worth a volume on
elocution in prayer.
i::A farmer in a village in Ilamshire,
(England,) was invited to attend a party
at the f-quire's, a few evenings ago, where
there was music, both vocal and instru
mental. On the following morning he
nu t one of the guests, who said : " well,
farmer, how dud yon enjoy yourself last
night ? Were not the quartetes excel
lent :" "Why, really, sir, I cant say,"
said he, "for I didn't taste 'cm, but the
pork chops were the finest I ever did
eat!"
CI" He -who has a high Forehead will
have his oos under if, and will live all
the days of his life.
lie who has a long- nose will have the
more to blow- and the better to handle.
lie that is bald will have no hair
but if he happens to have any, it will not
be on the bald place.
Women who base curious eyebrows
will, in all likelihood, have eyelashes un
der them, and will be loved, if any one
takes a liking to them.
tr.y Tl is related of a certain New Eng
land divine who flourished not many years
ago, ainl whose matrimonial relations arc
supposed not to have Ikvii of the most
niTei -able kind, that one Sabbath morning,
while, rcadin--; to his congregation the
parable of the supper, in which occurs
this passu:"' : "And another said, I have
brought fic yoke of oxen, and I go to,
prove theui : 1 pray thee have nie ex
cused. And another said, I have mar
ried a wife, ami therefore cannot come,"
he suddenly paused at the end of this
verse, drew oil' his spectacles, and lo kcd
around on his heart rs, said with empha
sis : "'1 lie fact i my bivthern, one
woman can draw a man Curt her from
the kingdom f heavm than !- yok? of
: oxen "'
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