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TIE BLESSISG8 O, QOTEBSMEST, THE m. nTIS. SHOCU, DtSTBIBUTEO At CPON ,.. H.O. BKD THE W. THE ..OH THE ,OOB.
SEW SERIES.
EBEXSBURC, PA.
W. 6, 1861
VOL. 8 XO.
48
TEU HI S:
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fflrrf 5offrq.
The Death of the Flowers.
BT W. C. El RANT.
r.e r.e'ar.cho'y days Lave come, the saddest of j
the vear,
Of wailing w.nas ana naiteu woous, ana meaJ-
ows brown an. I sere.
Ikrl ia the hollows of the grove, the withei'd
leaves lie dead ;
i .1. -.11..: ...4 t. iL. ..l.
bii's trea i.
i i . . t e . i . ..
ier D.Q 3ri'l icu uujaj Hiju iiuui
t'in:b tl.e jav.
Ail fr ni the trey-t '-i call the crow, through all
l'. i '-l.r.iy Jav.
' re ire the !; '.vc-rs, t
e fair y--nng flowers,
a:id stood
t':lf 1
at( iv sprav
Ii-l:t
1 s.'ft'.T ai rs, a l-auteous sis-
or:.-- -1 :
r! .
A' as! thev a.l ire m their graves, the gentle race
i if -ver 1
j.. , i.V!r butis. witn the fair anl i
.y .-J rif r.iijrs. !
';,e riri i fi"in z, where they lie; but the cold j
X vrnibT r.t n . ;
... . i
i.!, ; r t rni ;r.t the z'.'yziix eartn. ii:e loveiv
. r
r.e trlr.J f jer arid the violet, they perished
Aal ti.e ;M r an the orchis died amid the
summer's ulow :
C:t oa tL i.i.i ;::e leu rod, an 1 the aster in
ti.e
Al the vt.l-T sni ?. Aver I v the broc-k in au
tauiTi a':tv M. -d :
Till fe'l the fr t f-.-ra the r'ear. cold heaven, as
fails ihe p!.i"'! m men.
A".! t;:e izhtr.esf .! their sniil was crone from
u;i..a J, j.!aJe an I g't-n.
Ar.2 T" w, w!,ea c-vaes the calm, mil 1 dar. as still
v
-;.h i:ays v.;'; c- tre,
ra'l ihe s-jUTe! ar. l the lee frem ou their
;
i
trr- s . -n i ..f dronnin-? iiMts is hearvl.
.;.r;r;::'e v?r t ,!
-x s-.e in tre Hii-rv E'ht the waters of :
a win-.! searrhes f r t!3 flowers wlioss
fra-rance 1 tie ! e here,
-e if? re rcre, :
cr,i t,rra m the wojd and by the .
s.reasi m-re.
i-i th'a I thi'.k r,f one who in her youthful j
I t.iuty d:e!.
ti'.r. aetk Ll.-sirn that grew up and fadtd
or rr.v sidy :
:'.-! Cvl,l n.o'st earth we laid her when the for
est east the leaf,
-1 r wept that one so lovely should have a
l".f5 so bri.f :
net snmeet it was, that one, like that young
freuJ of ours
: gentle and so beautiful, should periidi with
.1
u:s uowers.
THE SURPRISE.
A TALC OF Tilt: RETOLUTIOX.
tY WALTER CLARF.XCE.
''e rr.ornirg, at the beginning of summer a
named the I.vVau Cltf, from the Me-
aceaa, 1 oua 1 to New York, was drawing
u:e American co.ist. It was shortly nfter
feriod when the oppressions of the mother
-ry, long patiently endured, had driven the
n:u into open rebellion, and though the war
commenced sicce the Indian Chief bad sailed
tome, her captain, whose name was Amos
Lai1 Lear' sufficient, before he left Mar-
"V 1 pGt L;ra on his guard lest his vessel
-J-i U captured by the British cruisers.
'-ll' c "ema'e and a passenger, a mac named
"t, from South Carolina, who had been
it---. ruroPe were pacing the quarter
'ether, when the cry of "land ho!" was
,1, tLe mait teaJ. The shout speedily
Cptain Lyman on deck.
,,tfre awa'? Where do you make the
ed of the mate.
IWO point fin tho. wither how. Kir."
hat i same time pointing oui
eitinfi -1. i a' . a.
fflare !"'.-'
tte a bank of low, dark cloud res-
it horizon than anything else,
! ' r Citain peered anxiously through his 6py-
4ii hr tip . , j.i.i
e pace of a minuto, and then lovver-
ins
raoient, said,
t., 4WP her a po'iLt off, Mr. Grant, We're
? tue nor'ard. T'll ?o down and take a
'i a r
T w. 4w nuvn J J
"" do not want to set too near the land
Crws nw r,(rliai cet traDoec :
41 he true that we heard at Marseills, the
.,"J ar ships are blockading all our ports,
" teaa to give 'em the slip, and I'll do it.
E7 name isn't Amos Lyman."
aat- obeyed the orders of hL superior.
and, after having trimmed the sails to suit the
slight change made in the vessel's course, contin
ued the conversation with the youthful passenger
which had been interrupted by the cry from the
masthead,
" I am but a plain seaman, Mr. Bartlett, said
he. and 'tis only nat'ral how I should know more
about things as belong to a sea faring life nor to
shore-going matters, more 'specially matters as
relates to government ; but ifl understands right
it seems to me how if a people be taxed it mighter
be with their own consent leastways t ey aught
to Lev a vice iu the matter. Now, as I takes it"
iM . A , , ,,
Mr. Grant," interrupted the young man,
somewhat warmly, " what would become of the
d'"s inline on board the Indian Chief if the seampn
insisted unnn VnmoinT to mlo o ,1 1 r
" "J au wuciciurts
""-j i iic umwrs cruers t
mat, sir, I take it, is quite another affair.
The men sign articles to obey orders, and know
beforehand it is their duty to do so "
... , 08:. .
uij uiuiuiT ium is a lieutenant on
b ard a British cruiser. Tha colonies are in re
bellion, and he is a colonist. Is it not his duty
to take up arms for the British government, to
which he has sworn allegiance, even though the
rebels be his own countrymen V
" Why, sir, I can't exactly answer that ques
tion ; but seems to me I'd resign my commission
sooner than fight agin my own kith and kin, and
my own native land "
" Are you not, are not all of us lawful subjects
of Great Britain?"
" Why, Mr. Bartlett, in a sense I s'pose we be
or at least we weie; b'uttLis here country of ours
is a broad and fail land. Many of our forefath
ers quitted it fur conscience sake, or through per
secution. Now wer'e willin to be friends sup
pose we're treated with justice ; but it don't ap
pear to be just the thing for tne people or the
government of a little island, away across the sea.
to rule over us and regulate our conduct, willy
nilly, without asking whether we're agreeable or
no. We helped ourselves most on us to the
position we row occupy, and if we be colonists
that ain't no reason why we should be slaves."
I see you are a down right rebel, Grant."
said the young man, half in jest, half in earnest.
" For my part," he continued, " I'm what is
termed a tory, and I boast of the soubriquet. I
cau Loat," he added, drawing himse!f up proud-
' ly, " of being connected by the ties of blood with
some of the oldest and proudest families in Eng
land, and I reverence the father land. There are
many such as I in South Carolina and Virginia,
to which portions of the colonies my ancestors
originally emigrated. True, there are many oth
ers, even arorngst the first families in the Old
Dominion, who have become tainted with the
j leaven of disaffection, and I blush for them. As
fur you Yankees of the North, most of you being
the descendants of a different class of people, I
dou't so much wonJer at the course you appear,
generally speaking, to have taken; but, mark
rny wordi, you'll live to repent it."
The vou'i" man turned awav as he SDoke. and
walkiag to the weather bulwark, stood gazing
, .
listlessly towan's the distant lanu, uisiace nusn
ed, and his haughty upper lip curling with a con
teniftuous sneer. The honest but plain spoken
tempt uous sneer.
ma(e olailced towards him for a moment, and
then muttered half aloud.
4 It makes me laugh to bear them southern
chaps ah'ers a boastin' about the first families of
old Virginy. Guess there's as good as any on
'em to be lound in old Massachusetts, any bow !
there do be some right good fellows among the
southerners if they weren't so alm!ghty proud."
Sail ho !" shouted the man from aloft.
" Where away ?"
" Close under the land, sir."
What does she look like?"
" She's a brig, sir. I can make out her two
masts. She's under the shadow of the land, and
seems to be standing this way."
The mate took up the spyglass and peered in
tha direction pointed out by the man aloft. At
this moment a I right gleam of sunshine burst
right ovci the spot, and showed the vessel to be
much nearer than the lookout-man had thought,
the shadow of the land causing her to appear
more distant.
I can see her hull now, sir," he shouted to
the mate. " She's a long, low craft ; looks sum'at
like a coast guard."
The mate waved bis hand in reply, signifying
that he could discern the vessel from the deck,
and then stepped to the companion way and
called to the captain, who presently appeared on
deck.
" A sail, Mr. Grant V said he. What do
you make of her V
" I can't well say as yet, sir ; but she looks
like a revenue cruiser. She's too long and low
in the water for a coaster, and her masts rake
well over the stern."
Tho captain took the glass. The wind was off
the land, and the stranger coming down right
before it, soon became more distinctly visible,
especially as the ship was close hauled and hedg
ing in towards the land.
" She's beading right for us," sail the skipper
as ho lowered the telescope. Keep her off a
couple of points more, Mr. Grant. We shall
soon know bis intentions. If he be an outward
bound coaster he'll keep on bis course, if not,
why, if he don't meddle with us, we'll let him
alone,"
The character of the stranger was quickly as
certained, and bis intention to overbal the ship
apparent, inasmuch as he hauled up a point as
the latter changed her course, and, as he drew
nearer, the pennant flying from bis main royal
mast head proclaimed him to be a king's ciuiser.
" One o' King George's fire eaters, an I'm a
Yankee !" exclaimed the old skipper. " I guess
ed &3 we shouldn't get into port without coming
across some on 'em. Well, if so be, he don't
mean to harm us. I'm willin to be friends ; but
he don't play none of his pranks with me for
naught. I ain't brought the old bark safe to
hum, after a two year's cruise, to bo stopped
from going into port to see the old woman, not
for King George himself. Clear away the tar
paulins from that ere long barker amidships, Mr.
Grant; if he stops us he shan't play his tricks
for naught."
The ship carried two short six-pound cannon
ades on each side, and Captain Lyman, anticipa
ting difficulties, as he neared the land, had pro
vided him with a long nine, swivel gun at Mar
seilles, so that the Indian Chief carried no tri
fling ornament ; and although ill adapted to con
tend with a regular armed vessel, she was likely
to prove an ug'y customer, especially as any de
fensive action on her part would probably be un
suspected, and consequently unprepared for.
The young South Carolinian had been examin
ing the 6t range vessel through his own spyglass ;
but he lowered the telescope as he saw the mate
and crew apparently preparing for a hostile mee
ting; and when the long gun amidships was
cleared from the tarpaulin and loaded, and point
ed fn the direction of the cruiser, the astonish
ment depicted on his countenance found vqnt in
words.
" Captain Lyman," said he, "is not that ves
sel a king's cruiser ?"
" Tears somethin' like one, young gentleman,"
said the captain
" Then surely you are not going to offer resis
tance?" That depends upon sarcumstanccs, young
man. it so be his majesty's otucers is civil, 1 I
be civil, as in duty bound. If so bo as he's every
way kantankerous it'll be 'tothcr way."
'You'll be guilty of treason."
" Wa'il, some folks may call it treason, and I
guess the owners want to see the cargo of the
Indian Chief. I ain't going to be kept out to sea
for King George himself, and I ain't a going . to
be took for nothin', if I swing for it."
" I protest against your conduct. Captain Ly
man. I protest in the presence of the officers
and crew. I, at least, am no traitor to my
king."
" You can protest as much as you have a mind
to, Mr. Bartlett. It don't make no odds. I'm
captain of this here ole barky, and when I want
the advice of a passenger I'll ax it."
It was very evident that it was the purpose
of the cruiser to intercept the merchant ship ;
but whether or not with hostile intent was ttill
uncertain. Captain Lyman made no further attempt-
to avoid the rencountre, but kept steadily
on bis course ; and though the guns of the Indian
Chief were all loaded, and a slow match lighted
in the cook's gallery, the crew of the merchant
man continued at their ordinary duties the
watch on deck being chiefly employed in the rig
ging, while the watch below were either sleeping
or engaged in the usual occupations of a sailor's
leisure hours mending their old garments, or
playing cards and checquers in the forecastle.
The cruiser was still nearly a mile distant when
the captain of the ship stepped forward to the
forecastle, and thus addressed the idlers.
" Now, my men, you've been on a two years'
v'yge, and I dessay most of ye's glad to get near
to hum to see your dear sweethearts, and to spend
your hard earned mouey, like fools, as sailors al
ways do. I suppose you know how the govern
ment folks in the ofid country have been picking
a fuss with us colonists because we don't choose
to pay every sixpenny tax they think proper to
impose upon us. They've got into a way of
dealing with us as if we were an inferior sorter
feller creatures and Christians. Ye heard that at
Marseilles ; and how our folk has been driven at
last, arter putting up with a good deal, to take
up arms in our defence. Americans for Ameri
ky ! that's the watchword, my hearties. They've
put an embargo on our ports, and they have la
ken to seize our ships and compel our men to
serve aboard their own men-o'-war. Now, lads,
there's a vessel in sight, bearing down upon us.
She'll be within hail in half an hour at most,
and I suspeck she's a king's cruiser, bound to
warn us off p'haps to seize us as a prize, and to
compel us to serve his majesty. Now I calculate
we'vs got arms and men enough to beat her off,
if we take 'em by surprise, and the question is,
will ye stand by me, the old barky, that has
brought us safely here, the owner's cargo, and
the colonies of North America, or will ye go
down on your knees afore the sarvants of King
George, give up he ship and cargo, and your
hard-earned money, and be content to sarve the
king for a year or two longer, and fight your na
tive land, and the homes of them ye love best on
earth 1 If so be ye be cravens, say tho word ;
but if ye be good men and true, stick to the ship,
and I'll promise ye, in the name of the owners,
that if the cruisers cums to the tussle, and we
beat her off, and get safe into port, ye shall have
your wages doubled, and a jolly good spree on
shore. But mind ye, lads, I don't want to de
ceive ye. If the luck goes agin us we shall swing
for it. So now make your choice between King
George and tyranny and slavery, or the Indian
Chief, the colonies, and independence."
Bravo ! bravo !" shouted the men, with one
voice. " We'll stand by ye, Captain Lyman, and
by the good old ship, and our native land until
death 1"
" Nuff said, my lads," answered the old skip
per. " Now be ready, but don't make any fuss
till I give the word. Maybe all will go off quiet
and peaceable after all."
The vatch still remained in the forecastle,
ready, however, to make their appearance on
deck at a moment's warning, while the cook kept
the match burning, and the men in the rigging
stood prepared to spring to their stations at the
guns at the captain's beck.
Young Bartlett, who, while the captain was
addressing the crew, had been pacing the quarter
deck in a state of great perturbation, now de
scended to the cabin, as if to show that he repu
diated the action of the captain and all on board.
Meanwhile the cruiser had approached within
hailing distance. She was what was technically
called, at that period, a " Jackass brig," of about
two bundredtons burthen, manned with a crew
including officers, of a hundred men, and carrying
ten short nine-pound cannonades. In weight of
metal, and in the number of mep, and probably
in the matter of training she had much the ad
vantage of the ship ; but the latter was much the
larger vessel, stood much higher out of water,
and had atl evident advantage of the cruiser in
the long shrivel gun amidships, if she could only
keep at a distance beyond the range of the brig's
smaller guns. In a hand-to-hand conflict the
odds against the ship would have been desperate;
and under any circumstances it was a daring and
hazardous act on the part of Captain Lyman to
offer resisance to such a superior force, still more
strengthened by the fact that the man-of-war
had the law on her side.
" Ship ahoy ! What shipTs that ?" shouted an
officer in naval uniform from the brig.
" The Indian Chief of New York."
" Where are you from, and whither bound ?''
" Last from Marseilles, and bound to New
York."
" How long have you been absent?,
" Two years come next month."
" Why don't you hoist your colors ?"
The captain ordered the English ensign this
of course the flag of the colonies to be hoisted.
So well," shouted the officer. " Heave to,
and we'll send a boat on board."
Wa'll ' replied Captain Lyman. " Seein'
as the wind's sorter fair, and I've been a long
while away from hum, and it's as much as we
can do to get to Sandy Hook afore dark, I don't
see as there is any call to heave to. Can't ye
say what ye wantter say as ye are ?"
" Terhaps you are not aware that for the last
twelve months the colonies have been in open re
bellion ?"
" Lor sakes, no. What be the meaning of
that ? What do ye want w ith us ?"
" The port of New York is under blockade,
and you are a lawful prize of His Majesty, King
George the Third. However, well see when we
get on board. Perhaps we may let you enter,
and probably some of your fine fellows may wish
to serve His Majesty.'
Wa'll, I guecs not just now," replied the
captain. " Ye see thej 've been a long while
away from bum, and they're sorter eager to get
ashore to see their wives and sweethearts. I has
a great desire to see my Id woman ; so if it's all
the same to you, well just say good day, and go
on our way."
" Cursed old blockhead," muttered the officers
while bis companions could not refrain froja
laughing aloud at the simplicity of the Yankee
skipper. ' Heave to, I say ! heave to at your
peril !"
The crew of the Indian Chief had quieOy de
scended from the rigging d uring this parley, and
stood lounging carelessly alut the deck, while,
in obedience to Captain Lyman's secret orders,
the helmsman had kept the ship away before the
wind, thus increasing the distance between the
two vesse's, and rendering the stationaiy guns
on board the brig of-war useless.
As yet the ports of the merchantman had been
kept shut, and the shrivel gun being concealed
by lumber, the captain and officers had no idea
of the somewhat formidable armament of the
seemingly peaceable merchant ship. But exas
perated at what he considered the stupidity or
disrespectful behavour of ihe latter, the captain
of the brig now ordered a boat to be lowered and
an armed crew to go and board the ship. By
the time that this order was effected the distance
between the vessels had greatly increased, while,
before the wind, the superior height out of the
water of the merchantman gave her the advan
tage over the cruiser, built to lie close to the
water's edge, and to show he' speed close hauled.
" Ship ahoy ! Curse ye, heave to, you stupid
fool," 6houted the lieutenant in command of the
privateer, irritated at the hard tugging of the
men at the oars who Lad as much as the could
do to keep up with the ship.
" We don't intend ten," answered Captain
Lyman, " and if you'll jist turn tail and go back
on board the cruiser afore ye cum teu grief, 'cause
I tell ye fur sartain I'm bound teu see Martha
Lyman to night, and if you come atune me and
she, bure's there's oyster's in Cape Cod bay I'll
shute."
" Give away, men, cried the lieutenant. By
heaven I'll not leave you a man on board the
ship, and you may get into port how you may.
Give away, men pull like the d 1."
" Now take care. Keep off, or else, by thun
der, I'll shute," shouted Captain Lyman. " 1
ain't gassin ! There aint no pokin fun about
me. My men and mc's of one mind ; we're
bound tew see our missesses and gals tew night,
please God the wind holds ; and if you won't
take warnin, by Jupiter I'll shute."
" Give way, men!" cried thj officers of the
boat.
A few vigorous strokes lessened the dist ance
between the boat and the ship ; but the brig of
war was now at least half a mile distant, and in
full chase, rendering, as I have faiJ, her side
guns useless. .
'"You iron? Well, then, your blood be on
your own heads. Taint none o' my bringin' on.
I only want tew be let alone, to go inter port
and see my old 'eman and report proceedings tew
the owners. Now, look out ! 0i you wont
stoy ! Tew now take warnin' ! Three and
the Lord have mercy ou your Boula!"
The next moment the taupaulin was hauled
away from the swivel gun. The match was ap
plied, and before the horrified officers and crew
of the boat had time fully to realize their hazard
ous position there came a flash and a loud, ring
ing report. A shower of grape-shot rattled like
hailstones upon the water. Above ti e dia of the
report were heard the loud screams of agony
from the helpless boat's crew ; a shower of black
splinters Cew up in the air, and when the smoke
cleared away only a few broken timbers, and one
or two of the wounded men swimming for life
amid the wreck, remained of the boat's crew
who, but a moment before, had been full of life
and energy, and confident of success in securing
their prize.
" They brought it npon themselves," said Cap
tain Lyman, as, with a sudden revulsion of feel
ing, be witnessed the destruction and loss of life
caused by his fire. " The brig'll give us a chase
now, lads," he continued ; '' and the Lord have
marcy upon us if she overhauls us. Square away
the yards ; watch her ; keep the sails full, A
stern chase is a long chase ; we're in for it now,
and the d 1 take the hindmost. Ilowsomever,
I'd just as soon we were safe in New York har
bor. I'd like tew help them jocr fellows ; but I
guess we'll have to leave them to their chums, i
Steer close, my man."
On board the brig-of-war the consternation of
the officers and crew was only equalled by their
astoEishmeut. They could scarcely credit their
senses when they perceived the utter destruction
of the boat and the slaughter of the men by the
Yankees, who they Lad imagined would prove so
easy a prize. The first thoughts were those of
revenge, and they would have immediately made
full sail after the audacious merchantman, but
their wounded shipmates were calling for succor,
and it behooved them to render them all the as
sistance in their power. A midshipman and
three seamen, all wouu led more or less severely,
were all that remained of the twelve men, be
sides the lieutenant an 1 midsLipman, who but a
few minute before had quitted the brig-of-war's
side flushed with excitement and confident of sue
ciss. These wounded men were taken on board
and tenderly cared for, and then the brig's yards
were sqnarred, the sails wetted, the side guns ta
ken forward and pointed from the bows, the ship
carefully trimmed and two of the best sieersmen
placed at the helm, and away they went in fuil
chaser one unanimous desire for vengeance upon
the audacious rebel merehantman filling the
bre:u-t of every cne on board, to the exclusion of
every other seuliment. Throughout the day the
chase was continud, without any action on eith
er tide, both vessels be'ng afraid to use their guns
in connuence of the de-lay which would occur
should either rouud to for such purpose, which
would result in the advantage of the other.
Towards nightfall Captain Lyman passed Sandy
Hook, and here the brig was joined by a consort
who united with her in the chase, which thus be
came doubly exciting. The object cf the second
cruiser was to head off the Indian CLief, and
thus drive her into the clutches of the brig; but
at the critical moment, when escape appeared to
be well nigh hopeless, a pilot boat hove in sight,
and one of the pilots boarding the hunted mer
chantman, conducted he in safety through a
narrow channel, where the men-of-war, ignorant
of the nature of the shoals and quicksands, dared
not follow ; and before daylight the next morniug
the Iudian Ciief was safe at anchor in the stream
opposite the Battery.
To be continued.J
Jean, Jester to Charles the IX, once
tried his master's nerve by rushing into his
room one morning exclaiming ;
"Ob. sire, puch news! four thousand
men have rsen in tha city."
What! cried the start'ed king, 'with
what intention have they risen ?"
Well,' said Jean bis finger on bis nose,
probably with the intention of laying dowa
azain at bed time '
Here is a Dutchman's receipt for mak
ing a Zouive, suggested by the experience
of some of the troops ia Virginia and Mis
souri
Take a recruit, keep him forty eight hours
nothing to cat : den march forty eight bou'-s
nothing to eat : den let him fight like
forty eipht hours nothing to eat ; by
dam he be one Zouave.'
Tf the President were to draft every
man into the army, who is lyiog about home
denouncing bis neiihbor as a 'secessionist,
he would soon have force numerically ctroog
enough to over run the entire south. What
is the patriotism of a jnan worth who spends
his time impeaching the loyality of bis neigh
bors and as yet very careful to keep out of
the ranks himself.
Why is a young lady like a lobster?
Because the lobster has anteonrrj ani she
hasn't any.
Truth itself becomes falsehood if presen
ted in any other than its right relations
There is no truth but the 'whole truth.'
ITe who thinks he can do witbout otbers
is mistaken; be who thinks otbers cannot do
without him. is still more mistaken.
Grapple ever with opportunity. And as
you don't know when opportunity will happen
alone, keep your firappling-irons always
ready.
A gardener is described as being reques
ted to set bis master's watch by bis sun-dial,
when be forthwith planted it in the ground
close to it.
i vniy one oox oi ciuuiua iu uaivesion
I Texas, and the gs works stopped for want
of coal, is the last report.
- i -e r i .
IT I SIICS.
How many Eick ones
WLsb they were bealthy;
IIow many beggar men
Wish they were wealthy ;
How many ugly ones
Wish they were pretty ;
How many Etuptl ones
Wish they were witty ;
now many bachelors
Wish they were married ;
now many Benedicts
Wish they bad tarried ;
Single cr double.
Life's full of trouble ;
Riches are stubble,
Pleasuro's a bubble.
Tlie 31 an lTlio Knows Every tiling".
A mighty knowing man was Caleb Page,
who kept the grocery at the fork of the road,
Woodchuck creek, Sprang Hollow, in the
village of Hcrnville No occurrence bal ta
ken place, of all the particulars of which Ca
leb did not possess a thorough knowledge in
the minutest detail. All matters in the pros
pective were anticipated, discussed, arranged,
and s atisfactorily disposed of by Caleb, long
before they took place. If a neighbor rushed
into the store to communicate what be be
lieved to be a very recent piece of news, be
would have ibe cocceit taken out of him by
being told by Caleb that he 'bad beard it a
week ago- Kvents of the past, present and
future were all the same to him; bis ubiqul
tions knowledge grasped and covered them all
to him they were all 'stale news.'
A small bet waii mads one evening between
Si Stevens and Joe Stubbins Si bet Joe
couldn't nonplus Caleb with any piece of in
telligence real or imaginary. Joe took all
such bets as that.
The following evening Si and Joe, accom
panied by two or three more of the 'boys of
the village, who were to help the thing alocg,
and 'fill iti proceeded to Caleb's store. After
being comfortably seated here and there, on
barrels, boies, ecL, Si opened the evening's
amusement by askisg, in a manner that indi
cated he was continuing a conversation com
menced before they entered the store:
'So yon say, Joe, that they caught him at
last?l
'Yes, sir, about seventeen minutes past
eight.'
Well, Joe, bow far up the creek was liV
'On a careful consideration, I should say it
was about three tulles, or three miles and a
quarter, or perhaps a half up the creek.
Caleb who bad not lost a word of the con
versation dropped bis sugar scoop with aston
ishment, and opened bis ears, for the boya
were talking about a matter iu which be was
not 'posted. The conversation continued:
'Well!' says Si, 'that couldn't a been far
from Deacon Hunt's?
Jest so,' answered Joe. it was about eight
rods from the Deacon's bog pen, in a slanch
wbe direction.'
Did you bear, Joe, with a face as solid as
a gravestone, 'bow much ile they got?'
Yes I did,' replied Joe, with another face
a3 solemn as two gravestones; 'I beam that
they got nearly sixty barrels of it '
The wags observed that Caleb was getting
exceedingly uneasy, and 'piled it on.
Well, Joseph, bow loag was the reptile?
Well, Silas, the icsect was about eighty
two feet long, and twenty eight feet odd in
ches broad thick in proportion
I thought. Joe, that there was two on
em.
'That's a fact; there was a pair on 'em but
they only caught the be one.
At this point of the dialogus Caleb Lecama
so desperately excited that be could contain
himself no longer, and snappishly demanded
to know 'what'n thunder they were talking
about?
'Why, said Joe, with a well-feigned as
tonishment, 'don't you know about their catch
ing that are
That are whac;' peevishly snarled Caleb.
That are whale!' seriously answered Joe.
'A whale! exclaimed the bewildered Caleb
have they ccght a whale up the creek?
They haven't caught anything else, 6ail
the ia;perturable Joe.
And how much ile did they get? inquired
Caleb as be recovered bis wits.
'Ninety-two bar'ls replied Joe forgetting
the amount he bad previously mentioned.
'Well,' fail Caleb, with slow deliberation,
and a satisfied look, 'I'm glad they caught
that whale, I heird they were artcr him.
The be&t throw at dice is to throw
them away.
What word may be pronounced quicker
by adding a syllable to it? Quick.
A good many men are in the best health
when they are out of spirit?.
j f
Of all kinds of property, money lent on
good security ia the most interesting.
The soldier's great risk is that of becom
ing extinguished befere be comes distin
guished.
Material evil tends to self-annihilation,
good to increase.
Fancy runs mst furiously when guilty
conscience drives it.
If you want to bave a man fcr your
friend, never get the ill-will of his wife.
Public opinion is made up of tie aTerige pre
judices of womankind.
Good temper is like a uuoy day, it
bheds a brightness over everything; it is the
kiTcctncr of toil, and tho toother cf uisquiciuJ,
i
1