Democrat and sentinel. (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, February 29, 1860, Image 1

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THE ELESSIKG3 OF GOVERNMENT, LIKE TUB DEWS OF "TEA VEX, SUOUIJ) EK DISTRlBOTfED AXIKK CPOiT TBI HIGH AKD THE LOW, THE EICH AKU TUI POOB.
- . " . . I ' -
m SERIES.
ECENSBURG, Pi. WEDXESBAY, - FEBRUARY 29, I860.
VOL. 7 SO. H.
TERMS:
U rKT31IOCR.1T & SENTINEL'
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marked
with '
he number of inserticr.s desired, or they will be
ontinued until forbid, and charged accordingly.
HOSTETTER'S
STOiMQH B1TTEBS.
It is a fact that, at some period, every mem
ber of the human family is subject to disease
or disturbance of the bodily functions; but,
with the aid of a good tonic and the exercise
cf plain common sense, they may be able so to
regulate the system c.3 to secure permanent
health. In order to accomplish this desired
eMect, the true course to pursue is certainly
, that which trill produce a natural state of
things at the lcat hazard of Thai strength and
life, for this purpose, Dr Hostetter has in
troduced to this country a preparation bearing
hU name, which 13 r.ot a new medicine, but one
tan his been tried for years, giving satisfac
tion to all who have used it. The Bitters
f.p?ne powerfully upon the stomach, bowels,
lJ liver, restoring- them to a healthy and
rigorous action, and thus, by the simple pro-c-.j
of strengthening nature, enable the tys
;en to triun;ph over disease.
for the cure of Dyspepsia, Indigestion, an-
iioa, r lutuleney, Loss ot appetite, or any luious
Complaints, arising from a morbid inaction
Jof the Stomach or Bowels, producing Cramps,
JI-?enfery, Cube, Cholera Morbus, ac, these
iEitiers hare no equal.
L'larrhoea, dysentery or flus, so Generally con-
Iricted by new settlers, and caused principally
ry the change of water and diet , wul be speedily
.'joiaieu by a brief use cf this preparation.
I'vrpepsia, a disea?' which is probaoly more
rcvalent, in all r -, various forms, than any
t ier, and the cause cf which may always
attributed to derangements of the digestive
"sans, caa--tac m'.f.t iriihoilt fad by umuk
..OSTETTER'S &TOMACII BITTERS, as per
-rections on the bottle. For this disease every
pysieian will recommend Bitters of some kind;
f..ia wiiv not use an article known to be infal-
Vio ? All nations have their Bitters, as a pre-
ntiv-; cf disease and strengthcuer of the S3s-
iin general: and among thcia all there is
I t to be lound a more healthv r-eonle than
I : Germans, from whom this preparation eraa-
:-tHl, based upon scientific experiments which
ve tended to prove the value of this great
??aration in the scale of medical science.
I f ever A"D Agcb. This trvin? and rrovok-
iz disease, which fixes its relentless erast on
4: body of man, reducing him to a mere sha-
- ia short time, and rendering him phy-
i-y and mentally useless, can t driven
a the bodv by the us& of IIOSTETTEU'S
"BITTERS. Further, none of the
ive-stated diseases can be contracted, even
exposed situations, if the Bitters are used
?er directions. And as they neither create
sea nor offend the palate, and render tin
?ary any change cf diet or interruption
ordinary pursuits, hut promote sound Bleep
Vi heakhy digestion, the complaint is re
el as speedily as is consistent with the pro-
f tion of a
Ptrtot
j r jrin frci
' Jm bo-Jy,
f tion of a thorough and permanent cure.
rtom in Advanced 1 ears, who are
frcm an enfeebled conciliation and
these Bitters are invaluable as a
lenitive cf strength and vieor. und need
le tried to be appreciated. And to a
r while nursinj these Letters are indis-
rle, e-ipecially where the mother's tour-
eat is inadequate to tue demands of the
I consequently her strength must yield,
here it is where a good tonic, such as
iter's Stomach Bitters, is needed to impart
horary strength and vigor to the system.
?s should by all means try this remedy
!1 eaes of debility, and, before so doing,
1 ask their physician, who, if he is
tinted with the virtue of the Bitters, will
menl their use in all case? cf weakness.
1WTI05. We caution th r utile against usin?
f the many imitations or counterfeits, but ask
STJ.TTE&'S CcLKBRATtD STOMACH TJlTTZBS,
that each bottle has tho words "Dr. J.
'r's Stomach Bitters" blown on tho sido
5 k rtle, and etampej on the metallic can
f '-S the cork, and oWrve that our tiitocraph
fe
is on the labeL
Prepared and sold by IIOSTETTIII1 &
S. Pittsburgh. Pa- and sold by all
':sts grocers, and. dsarn per.irI!
tfhout the United States, Canada, Bouth
! -o . 3 n
" auu uertmny.
i-XTS. Davis & Joues. Ebensburc; J. A.
.aummitville; Wm. Litzinirer. fjiretto:
- :rno,. f i " '
ist 31, 1659. ly.
res MUGS DMO! !
ui'h,M:D AND FOR SALE BY R.
N.. II. D.. A s-eneral
s.-
o Ji
RUGS, MEDICINES.
apices, OUs, Paints, Dye-Stnffs,
iSHIlfflllS, fill, .HE
-Ulery, Razors. Brushes, firmhs 5?tafinn
Ms B.joks. Perfumery. Saans. Tnh
n..f. - , ?.
uu ana otiier articles usually kept in
res.
R. S.BCXX. nr. T)
rg,May,4, l859.-24-ly.
THIS WAY.
RECEIVED AXD FOR SALE A larjre
'inraa Assortment of American roefc-
vcvsry Kmte warranted,) by
GEORGE UUNTLEY.
1859. 3t
1-' 5nlMVC A TTt DVPr,
V r- , . JXJLUiy
'VK A ALE AT THIS OFFICE
Stkct lloctrn.
Fro.n Vie Missouri Democrat.
DYI.G IKTIIC DiUK.
BT COBXIE WILLIAMS LAWS.
See, the lamplight on the window
Flutters down in golden lines.
Penciling np the rambling hedges,
Pinning jewels on he finis, ,
Painticg no.v upon my pillow,
Resting from its ribald route,
Falling fainter, fainter, fainter, " '
Godl O! God! the light is outl .
Pulsing through the dreary darkness.
Comes the wild and winging wind,
And its restless, weird fingers,
Quick the curtains white unbind,
O! 'tis fearful to be lying
With these eyes so glazed and stark,
And to feel that I am dying,
Dying, dying in the dark.
I can hear the rushing river.
And I know that shadowed light,
Weaveth golden g:tetvay over,
E ich soft wavelet in its flight,
Ah! could but one gleam now reach me,
But one little, tangled gleam,
That has sifted through the lillies.
And is wasting on the stream.
O! in sound of bumming voices,
O! in sound of drumming feet,
While each lamplit casement slanteth,
Burnished bars across tho street,
To be drifting, to be drifting,
In a shrinking, fragile bark .
Towards th.it gloomy "shoreless ocean,"
Drifting, drifting in the dark.
There's a time-worn way-side cottage,
Hark! thcr' sobbing at the pane.
Little Daughter! see I'm coming!
j Through theae shifting sheets of rain,
J Weeping on thy little apron,
j Se tiding Lut thy shadow out,
I Orer daisy beds to meet me,
l la lav wearv. homeward route.
Bat my limbs grow numb and trembling,
And 1 Lear a rurhiiig stream.
Is there n me ta b.'ar me over?
Pity mo, O! God! I drem - x
Ah! tLa tld: io gjing, going.
Ere the trilling of the lark.
Will t he s; I kt it moorings loos'enj "
And a bcut drift iii the dark.
i
Miss Tucker says it is with old bache
lors a? with old wood; it is hard to get tbem
started, but when they do fiatne, they turn
prodigiously.
-1 Tohc.n j Good. Those vbo ought to
fcn iw, sajs that there has been less Snery and
oi ua:i:sL.tal gew-gaws sd J during the present
seas n, thac during the same period of any
...... . '. l. . r . c t o " . it-
hava been an over dressed and over decorated
people, but we are from past reverses begin
ning now to cut our ccat according to "oar
cloth.
ZZr'lt h the part of wisdom to do great
tbincs without a fus. When Solomon, tho
wi.set of men, built his wonJous temple, no
sound of s-iwor hatntner was heard therein
An Irishuian beiug iu church where the
collection apparatus resembled ballot-boxes
on its being handed to him, whispered in the
carrier's car, that be was not naturalized and
could not vote.
Mrs. Swisshcliu, the strong minded edi
tress of the Su CIouJ (Min.) Democrat has
received the legislative appointment of Sur
veyor of Lgs aud Lumber, which some per
sons are disposed to regard as a good joke.
The lady says nobody can insult her by the
offer of weV" that will bring hoaest wages
W A poor fellow says. "Id. an evil hour
I became addicted to drink 1'rom that mo-
j nieut I have .been going down, until I have
j becoma an outcast a loafer; a thing of no
j account; fit for nothing else on earth but to be
a member of Congress.
5?" Toil and time are grim school-masters
but a flash of hope can make them beautiful
even as a sunbeam on the rude mountain hill
side.
2T "Mr. Conductor.
does the rail-road
stop here?"
No Marm, the cars stop here,
railroad goes right on to Albany."
but the
The scene closes with ajffreen parasol pat-
ting a biue covered dook on iao uacK.
i'ashionable circles were never so nu
merous as now. Almost every lady that ap
pears in the street, is the center of one.
B5TiThe steamer from Europe brought the
intelligence that crinoline is at an end. . We
would like to know where the end is
X""What a fine head your boy has,
' said
an admiring friend.
"Yes," replied the fond father, "he's a
chip off the old block, ain't you son?"
"I guess so father, "cause teacher said
yesterday I wai a young blockhead."
"A lady" living in a flourishing vil
lage of Massachusetts was lately fined twelve
dollars for "blowing up" a school-teacher in
the presence of his scholars, and using lan
guage -'not fit to be heard " .
Getting up Stairs lu Steam. The Fifth
Avenue Hotel has a car in which the boar
ders are to be raised by steam to the different
floors. It must prove valuable to some men
particularly late ia the evening.
ittioccllaucaus.
Sitli TFoodsunrs ltife.
BT JACK DOWSIXC.
As Mr. Seth Woodsum was mowing one
morning in the lower baying field, and hia
eldest son, Obediab, a smart boy of thirteen
opening the mown grass to the sun, Mr.
Woodsum looked up towards the bouse, and
beheld bis little daughter Harriet, ten years
of age, rushing towards him with the graar
est speed. As tlie came up he perceived
that she was greatly agitated; tears were run
ning down her ebeeks, aud ehe bad scarcely
breath enough tospiak.
'Oh father, she faintly articulated, moth
er y dreadful sick; she's on the bed, and she
shall die before you get there.'
Mr Woodsum was"a xnau of sober, j-ound
mind and calm nervps; but. be bad, what
sometimes happens in this cold and loveless
world of ours, a tender attachment for bis
wife, which made the message of the little
girl fall on bis heart like a dart. Tie drop
ped his Ecythe, and ran with great haste to
the house. Obediah who was at the other
end of the field, seeing, the unusual move
ment of his father dropped his fork, and ran
with all his might, aud the two entered the
house almost the same tiaie. Mr. Woodsum
hastened to the bedside, and took wife's hand
"My dear Sally sail he what is the maiter
with you?"
"What is the matter?, echoed Mrs Wood
sum, with a plaintive groan. "I shouldn't
think you need to ask what i the matter,
3Ir Woodsum. Don't you seo I'm dying."
"Why, no, Sally, you don't look as if-you
were d ing. What is the matter? How do you
feel?"
Woodsum, without waiting to make further
inquiries, told Obediah to run and jump on
the horse, and ride after Dr. Fairfield, and
get him to come over as quick as he can
come." Tell him I am afraid your mother is
djiog. If the doctois borie is away off in the
pasture, ask him to take our horse and come
riLt over, whilst you go and catch his."
Obediah with tears in his eyes, and his
heart in his mouth, flew as though he had
wings added to his feet, and in three minutes
time he mounted upon "Old Gray," and was
galioplor rith fall speed towards Dr. Fair-
field.
"My deer," said Mr. Woodsum, leaning
his head upon the pillow, how do you fed?
what makes you think yon are dying? And
uq ten JprJ j Jvissti lier firehai Lo epoke,-
aad pressed her hand to his bosom.
1 "O Samuel," for she generally cailed his
Christian name, when under the influence of
tender emotions; "I have pains darting thro'
my Lead, and most all over ne; and I feci
Jizy, and can't hardly see; and my heart beats
a3 though it would come through my side
And besides, I felt as though I was dying.
I'm sure I can't live till tight; and what will
become of n;y pxr children? and she sobed
heavily, and burst ia a flood of tears.
Mr. Woodsum was affected. lie could not
bring himself to believe that his wifa was in
such immediate danger of dissolution as she
seemed to apprehend. He thought she had
no appearance of a dying person; but still
her earnest and positive declaration that she
should not live through the day, sent a thrill
through his veins, and a sinking to his heart
that no language had power to describe. Mr.
Woodsum was as ignorant of medicine as a
chuu; he taerefore did not attempt to do anv
thing to relieve his wife, except to try and
soothe her feelings by kind and eocouragio
words, till the doctor arrived. The hal
bour which elapsed, from tho time Obediah
left till the doctor came seemed to Mr. Wood
sum almost an age. He repeatedly went from
the bcd&ide to tho door, to look and see if the
doctor was anywhere near, and as often re
turned to hear his wife groan, and say she
was sinking fast, and could not stand it very
many minutes longer.
At ltuzth J)r. Fairfield rode up to the door
on Mr. Woodsums ' "Old Gray," and with
saddle bags in hand, hastened into the house.
A brief examination of the patient convinced
that it was a decided case of hypocondria, and
he soon spoke encouraging words to her; al
though she was considerably unwell, he did
not doubt she would be better in a little
whita.
"Oh Doctor, how can you say so?" said
Mrs Woodsum, "don'tyou see I'm dying?
I can't possibly live till niffht: I'm sinkiu?
very fast, Doctor, and I shall never see tho
suu rise again Mv heart sometimes almost
stops its beatmgnow.and my feet and hands are
growing cold. . liut I must see my dear chil
dren once more; do let them como ia and bid
me farewell." Here she was so overwhelmed
with tears and sobs as to prevent her saying
more.
The doctor having administered the drugs
in such cases made and provided, is followed
out by Mr. Woodsum, all anxiety to learn the
real danger of the case. He is assured that
it is only an attack of hypochondria; and the
good lady herself ere long recovers.
Again and again, -however, is our friend
Seth summoned from the plow, and the doc
tor from pills, to administer consolation and
relief in her dying hour, and again and again
does she recover. We give below tho story
of Death's Last Assault.
At last the sober, saddening days of autum
came on Mr. Woodsum was in the midst of
his fall work, which had been several times
interrupted by these periodical turns of des
pondency in his wife. - One morning he went
to bis work early, for he had a heavy day's
work to do, and had engaged one of his neigh
bors to come with two yoke of oxen and plow
to help him break up an old mowing field.
nis neighbor could only help him that day.
and he was very anxious to plow the whole
field.
He accordingly had left the children and
the nurse in the house, with strict charge to
take good, pare of their mother.
Mr; Woodsam was"driving the team, and
hia neighjbor holdings the plow, and things
weot oh "to their mind, till bout ten o'clock
in the Cyennon, when little Harriet came run
ning, to. the field, and told her father that her
mother was 'dreadful sick.' and wanted him
to come as quick as he could for she was cer
tainly dying now. Mr Woodsum without
sajing a word, drove the team to the end of
the furrow; but ho looked thoughtful and per
plexed. Although he felt persuaded that the
danger was imagiuary, as it had always proved
before, sid the idea of the bare possibility
that this sickness might be unto death, pres
sed upon him with such power, that he laid
dowft" 'ioad stick, and telling his neighbor 1
Xo iet Ur cattle brewtho awhile, walked de
liberately towards the house- liefore he had
accomplished the whole distance, however,
his own imagination had added such wings
to his speed that he found himself moving at
a quick run. lie entered the house and found
his wife as he had so often found her before,
in her own estimation almostrcady to breathe
her last. . Her voice was faint and low, and
her pillow wa3 wet with tears. She had al
ready taken leave of her dear children, and
only waited to exchange a few words with
her beloved husband. Mr. Woodsum ap
proached her bedside and took her hand ten
derly as he had ever been wont to do, but he
could not perceive any symptoms of approach
ing dissolution, different from what he had
witnessed on a dozen former occasions.
"Xow my dear," said Mrs. Woodsum,
faintly, the time has come at. last. 1 feel
that 1 am on my death-bed, and have but a
short time to stay with you. But I hope we
shall feel resigued to the will of heaven. I
would gojrheerfully, dear, if it was not for
ruy anxieFy about you and the children. Now
don't you think my dear, she continued with
increasing tenderness, 'don'tyou think it would
bebest for yoa to be married again to some
kind, good woman, that would be a mother to
our dear little ones, and make jour home
pleasant to ail of you?
She paused and looked earnestly in hi? face.
"Well, I've sometimes thought of late, it
might be best," said Mr. Woodsam, with a
very solemn air.
"Then you have been thinking about it?"
said Mrs. Woodsum, with a slight contraction
of the muscles of the face.
.'"J. yes, said Mr. Woodsum, "I have
sometime thought about it since you have had
spells of beiug very sick. It makes me fell
dreadfully to think of it, I don't know but it
might be my duty."
iMYcir l do. thiQ's it, would;
Woodsum. "if vou can cet tha rlht sort of
a person. Everything depends upon that mv
dear, and I hope yoa will be very particular
about whom you get, very."
"I ccrtaiuly shall," said Mr. Woodstirn;
"don't yoa give yourself any uneasiness about
that, my dear, for I assure you I shall be
very particular. The pjrson I shall probably
have Ls'cne of the kindest and best tempered
women iu the word."
"liut have you been thinking of any one
in particular, my dear?" said Mrs Woodsum,
with a niauifest look of uneasiness.
"Why, ves, said Mr Woodsam, "the
is one
fihou
will
sum; "but. mv uear. we had better croo
subject; it agitates you too much."
"But, Mr. Woodsum, you must tell me
who it is. I never could die iu peace until
you do."
"It is a suhiect too painful to think about.
and it don't appcur to me that it would be
best to call names," said Mr. Woodsum.
"JJut I insist upon it." said Mrs Wood
sum, who had by this time raised herself up
with creat caruestuess. aud was leaning ou '
her elbow, while her searching gUiieo was
reading everjr luuide in her hu.sbau'a face,
"Mr. Woodsum, I insist upon if"
"Well," said Mr. Woodsum with a sigh,
"if you insist upon it, my dear, I have thought
that should it be the will of Providence to
remove vou from us. to be here no more, I
have thought I would marry tor my second
wife, Hannah Lovejoy."
An early fire once more Sashed from Mrs.
Woodsuru's eyes she leaped from the bed
like a cat. walked across the room and seated
herself in a chair.
"What?" she exclaimed in a
trembling
voice, almost chdked by agitation "what:
marry that idle, sleepy slut of a Hannah
Lovejoy! Mr. Woodsum that is too much for
flesh and blood to bear. I can't endure that,
and I won't. Hannah Loveiov to be the
mother of my children! No! that's what the
never shall. So you may go to your plowiug.
Mr." Woodsum, aud set your heart at rest.
Susan." she continued, "make up more fire
under that dinner pot."
Mr Woodsu ji went to the field and pur
sued his work, aud when he returned at noon,
found dinner well prepared and his wife ready
to do the honors of the table
Mrs. Woodsutu'a health from that day con
tinued to improve, and she was never after
wards visited with the terriblo afHictiou of
hypochondria.
"Make way fr a biuuependent woter."
Said a man at a recent election iu New Or
leans. "Whv. my eooJ man." said the
Clerk, "it is not an bour since you deposited
your vote at this very poll. "I know it,"
says the voter; "this ere's the whig." "JJut
if you strive to vte twice, I shall have you
arrested." "You, will, will you?" shouted
the son of the sovereign people; "then I say
if I'm denied the right of Toting for the
Whigs, after going the whole ticket for the
Democrats, there ain't no universal suffrage,
that's alL It's a darned one-sided business,
tax it all around."
1 have thoueht for some time nast I Jtl A ieei ,,lluu cveQ EOW- no means nn.cn.Mnt!,!. .tj
Id nrobablv. marrv. if it should be tlie I 1 ' : lika vou s"r Cho.' t;. vr .
of Heaven to take yon from us." , . A -J, ., terj.versatlon- un'ike ron v
"And pny, Mr. Woodsum who can it be? ' . " . "J-----. -principles not '
said the wife, with aa expression more cf ncano, "why nothings easier, if you only ! 1
earth than heaven, returning to her eyes, j knovr, hw , , ... . . , . , ' r s v ,, , et.:v-,i u -
-Who is it. Mrs. Woodsum? You haven't "Ami Ws fccwV paired Btrhi , ..':lil'Y
mentioned it to her, have you?" "Scotch snuT." answered cd Hurricane l"h-
:fu v :.i ir. tvt vc-rv sentenlionv. -'S-.i': snuff. Brin. V - V-Y ,'r5- 4 Can you Tsaka
. ... . i i.ntj ff it n-cy .-, , - ,i..: i i - -- v..?riailv. rust Tint nn p f.-
Be Gentle at Home.
Ther? are few families, we imagine, Any
where in which love is not abused for furnish
ing a license for impoliteness. A husband,
father or brother, will speak harsh words to
those whom he Ijvcs the best, and to those
who love him the best, simply because the
security of love and family pride keeps him
from getting his head broken It is a shame
that a man will speak more impolitely, at
times, to Lia wife or sister, than he would
dar tn any ntlipr fpmale. exepnt a low and
vicious oner-, It is thus that the holliest affec
tions of man's nature prove to be a weaker
protection to women in the family circle than
the restraint -of society and that a woman
usuafrVTs Tnde'hte'for the' kindest poIitenessH"che-can eatrdrrn2randT"merry,'1without
ui iiiw to more not ueioni; in it io iueir uwu
-e irr. .1 v.t it.:.
their
household. Things out not to be so.
The
man who, because it will not bn resented, in
fiicts his spleen and bad temper upon those
of his hearthstone, is a small coward, and a
very mean man. Kind words are the cir
culating medium between true gentlemen and
true ladies at home, aud no r olish exhibited
in society can atone for the harsh language
and disrespectful treatment too often indulged
in between, those bound together by God's
own ties of blood and the still more sacred
bonds of conjugal love.
Human Mature. An Eastern paper tells
a good anecdote of au opulent widow lay,
who once afforded a queer illustration of that
cold compound of incompatiblcs called "hu
man nature." It was on a Christmas Eve of
one of those old fashioned winters which were
so cold. The old lady put on an extra shall
as shj hugged her shivei ing frame, she said
to hT faithful Dcgro servant: "It's terrible
cold to night, Seip. I am afraid my poor
neighbor, widow Green, must be suffering.
Take the wheelbarrow, fill it full of wood,
pile on a good load, and tell the poor woman
to keep herself comfortable, lint before you
go, Scip, put some more wood on the fire, and
make me a nice mug of flip." These last
orders were duly obeyed, and the old lady
was thorough! warmed both inside and out j
And now the trusty old Scip was about to
depert on his errand of loercy, when his j
considerate mistress interposed again: "Stop, I
cap. i ou need not go now. Ihe weather
has moileratcd!''
Gen. Wusfiintton and Washington Irving.
Mr. Irving himself once saw Gen. Wash
ington. He said there was some celebratioo
going on in new York, and the General wa3
thcra to participate iu the creraonv. ""My
nurcc, continued 31r
Irvinsr, "a good old
! Scotchwoman, was very anxious
for me to
see uim, ana neia iRup in ner arms as he
rode past. This, however, did no: appear
to satisfy her; so the next day, when walking
with me iu Droadway, she espied him in a
shep; she seized my hand, and darting in,
exclaimed in her bland Scoth, "Please your
Excellency, here's a bairn that's called after
ycu!" General Washington tben turned bis
benevolent face upon me, smiled, and gave
me bis blessing, which," added Mr. Irving
earnestly, "I have reason to believe has at
a T i m
tended me turough life I was but five vears
they'll sueeze th
'I know a genius,"
anoloer,
has a belter plan. 11 svrcidj th i LivlIvcs
ia a cirt-1-?. seats him?cif in the cfLtr?, jd
1. ?gt23 spiun.j;f a yarn. Sir.c:inies
advon'-ura ia Mexico somriimcs a c
it 3 a
love sometimes a marvellous ttcclc t:
tion. As he proceeds tue 'natives'
;re inter
ested one by cue they ga?e with astonish-
i . . . .1.- . 1...-, 1 ,"i !.
' which arc poured forth, nc 1 as tuey pe, iny
friend whips -em cut, pcpper3 ca s.i.1 Sull
oTiZ 'era "
"That'll do," said Straight, rith a Icig
sigh "I v isa we had a bushel of the bival
ves hero now they'd ope 3 cay."
miss csi:;c scacx.
Conductor, 17L3 i? tbj; ixpeticas, disdain
ful, aud hiAj-crnar.ic.ual ytaaj Udy, who
wears goldca uaaac!-'s, end glories ia a gol
den cross? The skirts cf her chsrity covered
Ibveral adjacent fiaaers, and, at her egress,
sho created a vaeuu, if not a seusatioa, and
was fallowed by a wuirlwiaJ.
Con. JJiss D. Jlcar
sir.
Sen. The other, who? The one that gig
gled, and with a sneer, nudged the first to
look at the poor woman holding ia her arms
the sick baby.
Cox. Her cousin. Sir, Jfiss 13. Iliviour.
Sex. Bat, that n;at, cornaly, tasteful girl
who imillated the mcvrrr.cnt to make icon
for the poor woman; tod thea looked so kind
ly at the mother that both she aad her babe
smiled who i3 she?
Cos. That, Sir, is Ann I. Cental.
Sex. Truly she is nut mL-2 a-jed.
hold up, Coaiuet-jr; i'il slip cu here.
Exii Old Fo-i-.
Eui
The Duke of Wellington, gives orders
one day during his campaign, for a batJillion
to attempt rather a dangerous enterprise
the storming of one of the enemies batteries
of St. Sebastian complimented the ofiicer
by saving that his was the first in the world.
"Yes," replied the officer, leading on his m-:n,
"and beforeyou. lordships orders are fioally
executed, it will probably be the fiist in the
other world "
A Connecticut ehap announces that next
spring he intends to cros3 the Sketucket oa a
rope with two men hanging to his hair, cue
on each side. He is now busy, day and night,
letting his hair grow for that purpose.
o" n x ,,4;i-.-" i-i irco seconds
T t -
lToman's Adrantars.
Some of the advantages cf women ever
men are as follows:
A woman can say w hat she chooses without
being knocked down for it.
She can take a snooze after dinner while
her husband goes to work.
She'cao go into the street wilhent being
asked to treat at every saloon.
She can pafut her lace if it is too pale,
and powder it is too red.
!
She can stay at heme ro time cf war, and
- I can get married again if her husband ia lil-
j cd. . .
i She can wear corsets if too thick other
fixing if tcothin.
costing her a cent.
She can get divorced from her husband
whenever she sees one she likes Letter.
She can get her husband in debt all over
until he warns the public by advertising tot
to trust her on his account.
I LtT-The ework Journal of Commerce
in copying the address of the National Union
party of New York, containing sentiments
worthy of general approbation, says very ad
mirably: "We wish this new party entice succcs?,
as agaiDSt the Republicans, or any other sec
tioial party, but not against the Democrat",
who are the only true National Union party
of the country, and have earned their charac
ter by years cf fidelity to the constitution
and the Union uuder the most discouraging
circumstances often preferring defeat hi a
just cause, to victory at the expense of prin
ciple and patriotism."
EaToni Hood mentions the case of an old
Jew, who had let a large sum of money and
charged interest upon it at cine per cent
The borrower remonstrated and at last asked
the usurer, if he did believe in a God; and
where he expected to go to when he died?
."Ah." id the old Hebrew with a pleased
twinkle of the eye and a grin, "I have tho't
of that too but when God looks down upon
it from alore, the 9 will appear to him like a
It is better to love a person yon can
not marry, than to marry a person you cannot
love. This ia a short text to a long sermon,
which human experience will continue to
preach "uctii the last sjlablo of recorded
time."
fc "Tough, maiAm; tough. -did you SijT'
said an irascible boarder, ta the laciJady. 33
be was trying to carva what was ostensibly
chicken. "Yes'ra; an 1 were I to gire my
opinion on the fowl, I should say it wa3 eld
enough to have scralhed upthese.ds of origi
nal sin, when they were first planted."
A 15argor paper relates that a violent,
party politician was. the ethe'r evenia ia
the company of ladies and gentlemen, banter
ing an old maid on her state of single bless
edness. In the course of his remarks be said
'It isrealy unacooc table, Miss S., how a
young lady of yoar virtues and accomplish-
w
a caap in my lac tLU required less prep-
A w??2 sayst!;2t in journeying lately,
P'U in en ottii-jbu? wiia a dozen rptl
HO VS3
soas, cf whom c
Turning a cornc
did rot 1-no-y a EInle cn9
shortly after, the
vra upset.
t'ucni all out.'
And then," said he, "I fouad
An er:ch2Ttg3 p-pcr says, the be?t enrs
fcr palpt'cn cf th- Lrrt, i.; 1- leave c7hv
enj hijuus the pirls. If this h the only
remedy tnaS cao la procured, "tto fr? ona
say, kt 'erjalpltiie."
Th-
LTrrzl-Z rcnorfs irre?t rf
Ads
ra KcnnJfr for ntfemctip.- t- !:??! An-v-.r
Father by !.?:tlr. birr, drop to the bolt cf a
thirty-foot well, and throwing rocks oa Lim.
A YtvTtj TiTi-:rt who?: ambition did tot
stop shcrt of the scat of Chief Justice, 1733
undergoing sn examination, and was s:bsl
what penalty he would attach to the crie'e of
areoa. lie replied with profound gr?vi:y
and deliberation: "Arson; arson; f ' ic JI;
male the J-07p pay a nundrcd d-jZar a.iZ
victrry the irl!"
Tlie Al!?nt3wn Democrat says there
bs six cc'ips?g this year two of the ran; two
of theroon, rnd two cf the Republican cr
Op-r.-itn prrty- The two latter will occar
in C:tol.crcTi Novctnber one cf which vrill
L'3 risible in Pennsylvania, and the other til
over the Uaioa."
"Prt IT.r Thmvjh. Bub " A Focr.
drankca wretch went to Lesr a Universalis;
minister preneh. The preacher argued that
n issiier how degraded or abandoned a una
might become, be woull still be saved.
The Drunkard became mora interested ia a
doctrine which left hita room for tope-- Un
fortunately, however, in the midst of the ar
gument, the minister's mind became clouded1
and confused, and he commenced blander in
and staggering as though about to break down
The drunkard, seeing this, arose, and suppor
ting himself against the wall cried out "Put
her through, Wb, or I'm a goner!"
How quietly might many a on? lire, if
ho could caro as little for the affiri of other
ps he doe for his own.
era:
a