i
i
THE BLESSINGS OF GOVERTSMEN f, LIKE THE DEWS OF HEATEJT, EI10CLD BE DISTBIBUTED ALIKE TTPOS THE HIGH AST) THE LOW, THE BICH AX1 THE POOS.
0 SERIES.
EBEKSBURG, PI., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 3, 1859.
VOL. 6 XOi 37.
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MADE J? CLOTHING,
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jjtt.ftltDtt'ARE, ClTMZf&Y, GROCE
i ItlES &.C. &.C.
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W AND SUMMER HATS,
iduc oC:;rs very Iav for CASH.
CLIXTOX JONES.
A,13,-1S19.-2;-Siii.
HEW AEEI7AL.
THE UXDEnSIGNED, has a.lded to his
1. ck of l.H.t and iShit-.s Arc. A very
i:.- an 1 well st-li'cted aMrtinfi!t of ilEN
V raui.- SMUTS, MENS MAUSE1LLES
.'..ri I.i ,i. u Oiliars,
LADICS WHITE AKU COL'l) HOSE
Sens do do do
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M.waml B-ivs Husiieitders. Black Neck Ties.
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-it article iK-cssary kept in his line.
O.vi; him a tali aud cxaininc fir yourselves.
TF.KMs UASIL CLINTON K. JO'ES.
J-w -y. i'ioLK tf.
Dfil'GS DRUGS
6? ?
t'ST OPENED AND I'OR SALE BY It. S.
1UNX, il. 1)., A general assortment of
$DKUG3, 2IEDICIHES,
Spices, CiIs.Paiut3. Dys-Stufifs.
' mm. mn mi m.
r.' Stt Cutl
ury, liazors, Brushes. Combs. Station
I'-lank Books, Perfumery, Soaps, Tobacco,
urs. .autis and other articles usually Kepi ;n
,:gfc:ores.
B. S.BUNN, M. D.
l-burg, Mayr4, 1859.-24-ly.
c:3 H
IlEKD.
T. L. HEYER
Johnstown
4 o
IJEER,Attoiii ; s at Law
iven in tho English and German'
'.a on lli
6,1850.
h StreetEbensburg. Penn'a.
ly
JlCJtSOS i CLARK,
DENTISTS. JOHNSTOWN, PA
flKt-f the firm will bo in Ebensburg during
V tir.-t ten dava of each month. r-rrrrs
"'i ; wLidi time all persons ki- j$ffv4;i
.no his Tin.fi ssioiinl Krviri Can -l J-
l!n "t tl o r.fflnn i t Tr T rtw: nfiirW riTinn
blair' Il-jtel. " maY25,1859tf.
JoIiH Dl'Kcage
'Sir-'
Chewing and Leaf Tobacco. Xontgom
. eryst., Hollisdaysburg, Pa.
aj-'i-iwinf.ly on hand, a fine and well selected
j... f Spanish, and half Spanish cigare
thr'sfc. , ,. 1 P0!;iSiole prices. All articles sold at
-' -Jabhshmcnt are warranted to be what they
AUdst R la-
oo. ly.
r
I J ALf PAUL Git AFP, MANUFAC-
Wi rer,'l Wholebale Dealer in Boots, Shoes
taij if. Is irats and Caps. No. C8i North
Pi.
, teet. hrtuor.n Awl, n,l m,wrif
f March C, 1850. j
JOtlX SIIARRAVGII,
of the Peace, Summltt v lllr , P.
BUSINESS TNTUTTSTPT TO TIT
J?T 'iU be Promptly attended to. He wil
kiisc-rri tlonef-rat I'ublic Sales whenevt;
hr , orJy are "laired.
F S. S. BTJKH, M. D.
ILp ? Ui3 PROFESSIONAL Services to
Vc ci .'.EbcDsburg. Office in Drug
U1S- Street, opposite Tliompson's llo-
s'-urg, Muy, 4,-1853.-21-Jy.
Select Iporfrji.
iSPlUATIOX AXD GROIVTH.
BY GEO, A. HAMILTON.
Alone in the busy world of thought
I mused with aspirations hlgh
I would be pure, and true, and good,
And would the enticing wor Id defy
I'd range among the noblest things,
"Would give to thought its purest sway,
The bright to-morrow should perform
Some greater action than to.day
Whatever deeds are true and pure...
All noble things of good report,
Whatever likens mortals here
To Him who rules the heavenly court
These I'd pursue with ardent heart,
With earnest and unwavering will,
Xor cease the struggle, long, severe,
Untill my beu&dliig heart was still.
But stay, my soul, wait not fur scenes
Of greatness, or for world. wide fame,
Life's little acts in kindness wrought,
Shall glow with purest, fairest flame
To cheer a child, to help a friend,
To make a spot cX earth look bright.
To turn desponding ones to Him
Whose love brings always sweet delight,
That everywhere I go or stay,
An influence f )r the right shall flow,
Till every friend, companion, all,
Shall find their hearts more tender grow,
Ah. this is earnest life and growth,
And this most like the Saviours lovo.
More like the way that Heaven apprves,
And tnorc-ince anel life above.
I'Cl'R WAYS GV LIFE.
OK, ENVY, AYAUICE,
Extravagance and Conlcntincait.
Mr Felix Mark was on the eve of depart
ing from his native ciry for a long residence
abroad. Liviog in u retired but highly res
pectable court, hi hud become a familiar ac
(juaiutvace of several of his neighbors, and
he thojglit it ik more than proper that he
should cajl upon them, and pay his parting
respects. Ihey were of widely different
character, as ho well knew, aud as will be
seen by the suhstauce of too- four interviews
he obtaiucd.
He first t.'drd Tiprn Mr and Mrs. Covet,
aud made known his intention of goiag.
'You are a lucky man,' f aid Covet, regaru
ing him with a pained expression. I wishI
was fortunate. Uut I suppose I shall always
be a poor more and drudge, while everybody
else is happy and getting ahead.'
Mrs. Uovct sat locking ia her chair, un
easily. The same for myself,' said she, after a
pause. 'I never can go abroad anywhere.
though I have always had a passion for trav
el, lorn must diudge to keep our bodies
and souls' together, and I must tend the pot,
vish we had half the mocey that old Mr.
and Mrs. Clutch over tbo way, have got.
But we can take it out in wishing. 'Wc shall
always be worse off than everybody else. It
makes me maa to think of it.
'Do you think Mr. and Mrs. Clu'ch are to
be envied?' keJ Mr. Mark
'I envy them their money,' tigaed Covet,
though I don't envy them, exactly, ou
kiiow they're very grasping, llow I despise
grasping, people! aiway, gracing, grasping
fra;Mn'T,as if they had uotiung else to do but
eraspl 1 aont neueve tuoy re uappy.
Did ycu see how rcspectiuity everyoouy
bow-d to theci tho other evemng at the lec
ture?' asked Mrs. Covet. lt was only for
their money, I know. But they don't make
half as much show as Crashes make: though
how they can afford to cut such a dash,
don't see. How do you suppose the Crashes
pay their rent, Mr. Mark, and live bo high
a d dress so splendidty.'
I never heard, and don't know,' was his
reply.
'Crash doDt have more than seven or eight
hundred dollars a year, that l know for a pos
itive fact.' said Covet; 'yet he lives like a na
bob, drives a splendid turnout, gives magnifi
cent parties, and has the best of everything
I dont see how he does it; I know I could't
do it, and make both ends meet.'
I wish I had that elegant shawl his wife
put on the other day ; bran new, for I never
saw her wear it betore, declared lurs Covet
I doDt sco why it is ordered so! : They are
not a Lit better than we are, and tutvv e no
business to have such good things. I often
bite my finger-nails to the quick, thinking 6f
itl'
Well, it's enough to make anybody fret,
that's a fact,' continued" Coyet. Some people
seem to me to have nothing but a continued
run of good luck. Which, ever way I turn,
I see everybody with something better than
I can get for me and my wife. It'ssickeniug
enough by jingo! I don't think I shall live
long; and I dont wont to in a world where
honost merit never gets rewarded for its well
doing.
Mr. Mark, fearing that ho might catch the
morbid gloom of . that envious couple bade
them adieu, and went over to do the same to
Mr. and Mrs.- Clutch their mutual neigh
bors. The Covets had not exagerated the rulling
propensity of tho Clutches; tho latter were as
miserly as the former were envious. They
mated When they were married they were
matched icdeexl.
'Pleas to rub your feet carefully on tho
mat before yon go up,' said Mrs. Clutch,
'Too eu'ich brushing is apt to wear out the
carpet.'
'Vtiu might have gone in the stecrago for
much less than' that,' said Clutch, when he
heard of Mark's meditated voyage. -I should
like to travel, but it costs too much to be mo
ving about.; I hope you will not prove to be
a rolling stone which gathers no moss.'
'I shall get as-much 'moss' as I can, said
Mark, smiling; 'that is my object in leaving
my native land,'
That's rijjht. Be saving; and get all you
can, and keep all you get. That's my max
im. Nothirig like money. Ilnsband your
time; time islmoney. What a wonderful man
Benjamin Franklin was.'
Mark heard the door bell ring; and, soon
after the dooj- was slamed to loudly, and Mrs.
Clutch appeared, with a red face. -
These peky beggars? exclaimed hs.-
'Half the people are beggars, I believe, I
wear out a pair of shoes a year going to the
door to answer beggars. I'm sure they don't
come for tho encouragement they get; for
they never got a crumb from mo in my life.'
'The authorities ought to see to them, said
Clutch. 'They ought to be sent to the alms
house.' 'Or to the house of correction,' added Mrs.
Clutch. 'They have no business distressing
others with their distress. What's the use
in worrying our souls out, almost, in trying
to save, if we arc going to be giving away all
the time? 'PenDy wise and pound foolish.'
They wear all the paint off our door steps,
too.'
'Who giveth to tho poor lendeth to the
Lord?' said Mark in an e'xeecdingly grave
manner.'
'Eh?' said Clutch, starting, and prquid.
'We could easily lend all we have in that way
and if we were poor ourselves, wonder if the
Lord would take care of us. The Lord knows
for I don't, and I shouldn't like to try.
'ltiohes take to themselves wings and fly
away, said Mark. 'You may be poor your
selves some day.'
That's just it,' said Clutch; 'but it won't
bo any fault of ours lliches do have wings
enough, that's a fact, without one helping
them to fly away. We shan't do that little
thing; we look out for a rainy day. How
much do you suppose it costs our family to
live we two:
'Can't imagine,' said Mark, curiously scan
nmg their thin vissazes and mean apparrel.
'It couldn't have cost us over a dollar for
our food, last week,' said Mrs. Clutch- proud
ly. . .
'That woman is a Gem, Mr. Mark,' de
clared Clutch. bbe nas tno sharp eye on
expences! Eye like a hawk, sir!'
'And- the heart and clutch of ono too,'
ahsicit Mark
'You'll never find us burdening the town,'
continued Clutch. 'We keep ourselves, and
live with Christain humbleness. If Uod
made bejrjrars, he will take care of them. It
is our duty to prevent ourselves from being
beggars. e act on principle principle
is the th
:ng; and we ve maae it a
rule not to
give away anything
If people are poor
enough to oeg, let tnem uie, ana oe oui or
misery Wo can't help them. It should
be a warning to us not to get poor.
Mr. Mark shook his head, shook hands
with their cold gasping digist, and hastened
on: for his heart almost stood still, as if it
threatened osification.
'Oh !' sighed he, takiog a long breath cf
heaven's air, as he stood upon the sidewalk ;
was there ever a mean man who hadn't
pleety.of reason on his side I The heart
knows but little of logic ; here are the Crash
es people of quito the opposite stamp, as far
as the -lisnositicn of money is concerned I
will give them tho next parting call.'
'Ah, Mark ! glad to see you very glad I
said Crash, advancing and shaking him hear
tily, 'glad to see you,' (tho landlord stiffly
took his leave,) doubly glad, for your coming
has sent that fellow away my landlord. He
has been boring me for the rent these two
hours in confidence, my boy.'
Mrs. Crash entered in sumptuous dress.
Mr. Mark told them he was going abroad to
be absent for several years
'Sorry we couldn't have given you a hand
some supper, Felix,' said Crash. 'Would if
wc had known it in time ; though to tell the
truth, wo arc a good deal bothered by credi
tors just now ' .
Mrs. Crash colored. You needn't mention
it, though, to everybody.'
Oh ! Mark is confidential,' said Crash,
gaily. 'lie knows we must live, and trust to
luck for payment; I expect to be rich yet.
The only way to be rich i3 to appear so.
Clothe a man in rags and see how much mon
ey be can borrow ! Live in a hovel and see
what rich folks will ever visit you ! 'A poor
man can't afford to live or look poor he
must keep up appearances : but a rich man
can do as he pleases live, look, and be mean,
like old Clutch there, over the way. What
Jo vou think. Mark Y .
To tell the truth, I approve of living with
T m m m
in one s means that Qon t argue meanness.
' 'But bad policy.' " :
'It is good policy to be independent, Mr
Crash, and not bo haunted by creditors.'
'But a man ought to have force enough to
face his creditors tell them to wait. For
tune favors the brave, and good luck will
come at last. Look at the house isn t it
furnished beautifully ? Well, between you
and l, not two-thirds are paid for mostly on
trust. What is the use, tell me, of having
frieods' unless they confide in you i -
'But we should take care not to betray
that confidence, Crash.
Very true; and I never intend to. But
everybody must wait wait till tho luck
comes; then you can pay them what interest
you please.
'But you arc annoyed by creditors all the
time. 1 following that plan always in jeop
ardy mav fall at any moment. And what
can vou do without means and reputation ?'
But we have eixceptions, besides. And
ai any rate, tho world owes us a living, and
a poor man had better fit himself to move
where monejr is, thau where it isn't. I act
on the principle of, 'Live while you do live,'
at any rate. Turn your face down hill, and
there will be plenty to help you on the road.
Have a glass of wine t . (It was brought, and 1
they drank.) That cost me ten dollars a bot
tle or will, when it s paid for. Ha I ha J I
seo you stare 1 But I'll wager I'm much
appicr than old Milligrams over the way,
who is rich and counts his mouthfuls.'
On the strength of a long acquaintance,
Mr. Mark volunteered a little prudential
counsel to Mr. Crash ; but ho' saw it . was
thrown away, so he desisted and departed. -But
he saw, before he went, that behind all
this seeming gayety a deep anxiety was lurk
ing , and his kind heart ached for the reck
less YGtatiesjif frtravagance. r -..V ' vl
So goes the world! thought ho. 'How
much of the misery of which the world com
plains is made by themselves I Ah 1 here is
Cotage s house. 1 must bid them good-bye.
It was the poorest dwelling in the court
an old wooden tenement, which had a crash
ed look, by the side of the lordly dwellings
which rose in towering pride around it, as if
it longed for the annihilation to which a rise
in land would soon consign it.
Mark knocked at the weather-beaten door
and a poorly clad, but bright-faced woman
opened it and welcomed him in. A cheerful
wood fire burned in the old-fashioned fire
place, and a baby's socks were drying on the
heads of the andirons, The rosy baby slept
smiling in a pine ctadle. There was no paint
on the floor, , but it was white with work.
Such kitchen utensils as were visible, preach
ed silent sermons of tidiness and order. Mr.
Cottaee was a carpenter, and was drawing
plans for a house.
Excuse my bringing you into the kitchen,'
said Mrs. Cottase. 'but you "know we are
poor and can't afford two fires.'
'Glad to see you, Mr. Mark, says Mr. Cot
tage, 'but Ecrry to loose so good a neighbor,
for 1 hear you are going away. 1 nope you
will come back rich
Thank you I hope so, too; though money
don t insure happiness always.
That's true,' said Cottage. 'Look at U3.
We arc poor enough ; but we have health,
and food, and shelter such as it is; and as
long as we have work, we can 'keep the wolf
from the door, as the saying is. and I don t
worry for more. As to my wife, she can
speak for herself,'
I don't want to be any happier,' said Mrs.
Cottage, 'and can't exnect it. I see so many
unhappy people, that it makes me thankfu
that we are as well off as we f re, though we
do live very humbly ! H
'You are rich in having such a disposition.'
I think' &f; replied Mr. Cottage. 'We
every day manage to give something to the
poor after beisg turned away from other
doors.
Mark took his leave, and on the following
day bade farewell to his native land, over
which as he gazed, he felt he might never see
again.
His business bound him for a period of ten
years; and then, with eager heart, he re
turned from his long but prosperous exile.
Soon after landing, he repaired to the old
familiar court. But there were none of his
acquaintances to bo found there. He ascer
tained the address ot them, and called upon
them forthwith.
The carpenter had become a rich man, and
lived in a handsome mansion ; after congrat
ulating them, Mark asked what had become
of the old neighbors.
'The Clutches, you will be astonished to
hear, now live in a cellar, in an obscure part
of the city. , -
And the Crashes I
'They crashed till about four years ago,
when everything was taken from them ; tbey
board some place.'
And the Covets V
JJoth died or some complaint brought on
by worrying about the affairs of other people.'
As Mr Mark walked to his hotel, he pon
dered seriously upon the changes which had
occurred to' those four families in the short
Dace of ten years: and it seemed to him
that if some story writer would be made ac
quainted with the facts, he might deem them
worthy of a narrative, if only for the moral
they contained. -
Dead-Headed Through.
Conductor Tucker, on the Boston and
Maine roads, likes a joke as well as any
man: rot long since, a penniless, seedy,
individual got into the oars at Boston, and
when called upon for his ticket, replied that
he had none. He was informed that he
must get off at tho next station. On the ar
rival at the station his speed was somewhat
accelerated from the cars by the assistance
of the conductor's boot applied to the back
part of his stomach. On the arrival of the
train he seated himself as before, and when
waited upon tor his ticket, the same answer
was given, followed by the same results.
The two stations were passed and our trav
eler found himself waiting the approach of a
nother train, to continuo his journey. This
being Conductor Tucker's train, die embarked
on board, and being asked for his ticket, re
plied as before, when ho was told to get off
at the next station. When the train stopped,
he walked to the platform, quietly elevating
his coat-tail to the conductor. Un bem
asked by the conductor the causo of such an
insulting precedure, the traveler informed him
that the other two conductors had left the
impression of lhier boots'upon his cassimcre
and he suDOOsed that ' he wanted too." Tho
joke was relished so well that on being in
formed that ho was en route for Portland
with no money to purchase a ticket, he was
dead-headed thro' tho remainder of his jour
ney. NewLurijjyori Herald.
s iEV'I tell vou. Susan that I will commit
suicide if you don't have me." -VWell.
Thomas as soou as you have given me that
proof of your affection, I wul believe tLatyoa
lovo me
Ilfgli Old Justice.
A certain old Capt, Baculard left Marseil
les for China; but, being buffeted by the
winds, he landed at the harbor of Tuuis, . to
wait fair weather. The collector of the port
came on board. Capt Baculard represented
that he was freighted for Canton, that he had
nothing to do with Tunis, and that ho only
put in from stress of weather. But the col-
ector presented the manifest that he must
fork over. Capt. Baculard did fork over, in
rage; but instantly repaired to the residence
of the Bey, demanding justice.
God frank, said the Bey, 'I am your
friend, God is great. What plague do you
want with me'
'nighTitss.' -answered Captain Baculard,
'your custom house has robbed me. I have
forked over; fork back.'
'Excellent individual,' answered the Bey,
'in this country, when we have the dust, we
keep it. The original acquisition is a thing of
difficulty, lo fork back is a thing unknown
m Africa.
'But shall I not have justice?'
Certainly: every one has justice in Tunis
Will you have it in tho French or Tunisian
fashion?'
Highness, I have had a law-suit or two in
France. Justice in the French fashion, God
forbid?'
'But I don't press it on you.' observed the
Bey. 'If you choose the rench, after all,
speak to your consul. lie loves justice, good
man. Three of my subjects applied to him
three years for immunity, and they may, pos
sibly, get it next year for he loves justice.'
'French justice? Never! Give Tunisian.'
I am in a great hurry.
Be it so then. God ia great. What is
your cargo?'
Marseilles soap and twenty thousand cot
ton caps.'
'It is well. Go away and be tranquil.'
The Bey summoned the Vizier.
Vizier,' said he, "there is no God but God
and Mahomed is the Prophet. . We love jus
tice . We love the Franks. Proclaim that
every Jew who appears to-morrow, out of
doors, without a cotton cap, will have a little
transaction to settle with me.
There were twenty thousand Jews in Tu
nis, and not one single cotton cap in the place
They all made their wills when they learn
ed through their officer of the customs, that
Captain Baculard iiad lots of theTdesired ar
ticle. There was enough said. Capt. Bacu
lard sold his invoice at two dollars the cap.
He hastened to the place and poured out his
thanks.
'riot so fast, said the Bey. "1 am not done
yet. Call my V lzier. The Vizier appeared.
'Proclaim,' said the Bey, 'that every Jew
who keeps a cap another hour, will have trou
ble with me God is great and I am a lineal
desceudentof Mahcmmed.
The Vi2ier made a grand salute, placing
his leg on the back, of his neck, according to
the custom of tho court, and retired. WThen
Capt. Baculard returned to the deck, he
found the twenty thousand Jews already
awaiting him, caps in hand. He might have
had the caps for nothing, but, desirous to
leave behind hiua a name for generosity and
greathess of soul, he bought them at two
cents a piece.
A Singular Prophecy. Tho following
curious partgraph is from the Continental
Review: "We may now ailord to smile at
the singular prophecy of the Wcstphalian
shepherd, who lived some 150 years ago,
who predicted a terrible European war,
jn tDe course of which tho Turks should
cool the feet of their horses m the Rhine."
These things thus ruus the tradition were
I to come to pass when carriages run without
horses, and tho Prussian soldiers were dressed
like the soldiers who crucified Christ.
Carriages do run without horses, and the
silhouette of a Prussian soldier, in his tucio
and hemlet, is in all respects that of a Roman
legionary. But the superstitious, who spec
ulate on this singular prophecy, could
never 'reconcile with . it the decline to the
Turkish power, and the manifest improba
bility of tho Sultan's troops carrying the
standard of the Prophet to the banks of the
Rhinp. Thev forget ihat h ranee has Al-
eerine regiments of Spahis and Zouaves, and
that many of' them are as good Moslemen as
ever walked the streets of fctatuboul.
C57"An ingenious Scotchman has trained
a couple of mice to turn a small reel for twis
ting ' twine. ' The laborers run about ten
miles a day and reel from 100 to 120 threads.
A half penny s worth of oat meal lasts a
mouse five weeks, and the clear anual profit
on each animal per year, is computed at six
shillings This beats the "industrious fleas."
. Our government has received impor
tant despatches from Minister McLanc, in re-
gard to the present condition oi inings in
Mexico. We understand that Mr. McLane
despairs of accmplishing anything satisfactory
with tha Mexican Authorities as everything
there is in a perfect state of confusion and
uncertainty
S3T There have been so many changes late
ly in the conducting ana publishing of En-
ghsh periodicals, that tue alterations in eai-
torial relations, have become so common as
'household words." and now tho question
arises will Dickens continuo to conduct his
new weekly "all the year round!"
iarSidney Smith, passing through a by
street behind St. Pauls, heard two women
abusing each other from opposito houses.
They will never agree," said the wit ; "they
argue from different premises.
aThe phrase "down in the moutn, is
said to have been originated by Jouah about
the time the whale swollowed hici.
237" When rogues give a dance,
the devil
I L iure to play the fiddle.
Printer's Curiosities.
A crust xVotti a printer's httma.Coq eb.nM
A cloven foot of the devil. -
A wheel from the royal chase,
A too nail of a foot line.
A heel bone cf the sheep's foot.
The pleasures received from an
The little finger of 23T
A tear that fell from a capital I.
A lawyer that plead a printer's ca?e.
Some fur from the top of a small cap.
A candle made from printer phat.
Some bark from a printer's stick.
A Eight from a shooting stick.
A glass of grog from a printer's bar. "
A feather taken from the bed of a press.
A quoin from a printer's bank.
The index of a Printer's Guide. ;
The uniform worn by General Intelligence
at the battle of composition.
An insult from an imposing stone.
Some veneering froai a pieco of furni
ture. A thorn from a briar
A piece cf rule that won't work both
ways.
Some angry words from a 'cross bar.
A jour, who never came to a stand.
A cold caught from using damp sheets.
A jour, who rested himself by setting on
a column.
A nose from the face cf a type. 1
Matter from a running head.
The c'Eub" who was punished by ft bang
ing indention.
And a few debts from delinquent sub
scribers, which we hope will be paid as pooa
as circumstances wul admit.
To the Girls.
Hero is a paragraph of plain talk to tbe
girls, by an anonymous author, which is
worth a library of Young Ladies h nends, or
whatever may be the title of the wishy-washy
compounds that are sold for the benefit of
that interesting portion of community.
"Men who are worth having want women
for wives. A bundle of gew-waws bound
with a string of fiats and quivers, sprinkled
with cologne and set in carmine saucer this
is no help to a man who expects to raise a
family on veritable bread and meat. Tho
piano and lace frame are good in their places,
and so are ribbons, frills and tinsels ; but
you cannot make a dinner of the former, nor
a bcd-blanketof the latter. And, awful a-l
the idea may seem to you. both dinners and
bed-blankets are necessary to domestic hap
piness. Life has its realities a3 well as
fancies ; but you may make it all a matter
of decoration, rememberiug the tassels and
curtains, but forgetting the bcacstead.
Suppose a man of good sense, and of course
good prospect, looking for a wife what
chance have you to be chosen ? You may
cap him. or you may trap him or catch him,
but now much better ror niui to mase non
object to catch you ! Render yourself wor
thy catching, and you will need no shrewd
mother or brothet to help you find a market."
Xtiuordixauy Xeecise. A Contempora
ry has adopted the practice, becoming quito
common, of marking papers With an X on
the expiration cf subscription's A subscriber
recently responded in the following good
hit-
Mkssks. Lansing : That your X-position
is X-cusable in the X-tra X-X hibited on the
X-terior of the last Standard, you most alloy?
me to X-press my readiness to admit. 1 lease
to X-amine the enclosed X-c7iane, and if
deemed an X-piation for my remissness, it
will be X-peetfd tb&t jou jjill X-tcnd to me
an X-onoration from - your X-actions" by
X-punging or X-scinding the said X for my
next paper. Not that your mode is in any
way X-ceptionable in X-cercising a right,
but rather to be X. tolled, as a very X-pedi-tious
one in making X-ampIes of delinquents.
Yours, Truly. . - -
Awful run. In a large mercantile houso
in N.' Y.. there ia a gentleman whose name is
T. G,Rule.
"Why is your biography unlike tho Scrip
tures?" asked tho book-keeper of the estab
lishmcnt. "
Of "onrse ttie astonished gentleman could
not bcuevc Ins biography was very dissimilar
to the Scriptures, and was forced to give it
up. t
"Because one is the rule of life, end the
other is the life of rule."
The book-keeper Btill retains his situation.
ia spite of the enormity ot his offence. ;
Great Ball of RocJc. At Iloundout, N.
Y., on the ISth mst., a terrific crash was
heard in the lower part of the village, tho
sound coming from a north-east direction, and
resembling thunder. It appears that several
thousand tons of huge rocks bad fallen from
an adjoining cliff. A lady seeing the immi
nent danger of her child, who was playing
in tho garden, ran to her rescue. A huge
rock rushed between them, rolling over by
the concussion of the passing stono but doing
no other harm.
3T An -Ark is now being built by a man
of Sheilds, ju anticipation of the xext flood
of tear's, shed by his wife when he refuses to
buy her a new gown. He thinks be can
-weather the storm.
SST A German writer observes thai m
the United States there is such a scarcity of
thieves they aie obliged to offer a reward for
their discovery. -
12?" Weigh your words," said a man to &
fellow who was blustering away iu a tower
ing passion at another: "They wou't weigh
nuch if he did," said tha antagonist, cooly.
jCSrTbe chap that plucked the feathers
from the wing of a house, has receutly cou
crted his hat iuto a brick yard" "
4 .Nai.ly Ovli. bur vesting ia this County,
1
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