Ti T, 1 i I l . I IB I i 1 i s .:,: I I a 1 a i 1 r I
TIIE BLESSINGS OF GOYEBXMEXT, I.IKE THE DEWS OP HEAVEN, SEOUI.D EE DISTRIBUTED T-TEE CPOS THE HIGH AXD THE LOW, THE EICT AK1 THE POOR.
EBEXSB11RG, PA., WEDNESDAY, JULY 27, 1859
VOL. 36.
lEff SERIES
TBUSIS:
4 M. . uiVTrvrr i to tititi
II iwhed every Hodncsday
Cen-ts
.Alt j
six months, and
n t paid until the termination
be taken for a shorter
Morn in? at
!p i i llv.r.i 'e; use d 'ular and oevexty
i'.--cy if n t l within
p !.'.. r.3 it"
v'';ir-
c"i!,N-rioti in will
-1 .-ix months, aud no subscriber will be
tv t ilihontuiuo his paper until all ar-
vu-p ruid. escort at the option of the
nersm subscribing for six months will be
'on-b dollar, unlcs? the mot. y is paid
Advertising Ratc.
(tut iwrrfn. Tiro do. Three do
Select fJoetvin
Tin-: DAISY.
BY MARY RANKIN.
(J J lines j
!;;; Wr.cs
, jL'l iilK"
!vrti-T.v-vf
, f In-crti-'i's
- 1 f-irliil.
$ CO
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months.
$1 CO
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4
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lit
1 00
2 00
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;3 00
4 50
7 00
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marked
2
12
$5
12
14
20
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00
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do
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with i
Tho' bordered with silver aud centured wtth gold
Yet few in the daisy can beauty behold.
Beneath the proud foot tinthinkingly trod,
'Tis crushed in Us meekness upon the cold sward.
Ah say not 'tis vile Omnipotent power
Hath shaded and formed this del icate flower,
'Tis then not in vain, that wisdom and skill,
Displayed in this flower hath a purpose to fill.
When day go 1 takes up his march' through the
sky.
He tenderly kisses the t2ar from its eye ;
The unconcious beauty awakes from its dream ;
And basks the day long in his bright golden
beam.
Like a minature sun. so dazzling and bright.
Ee Hoc ting the rays nf its currowed light,
ft- V'
f 1 ('
T. v
i red, or they will be i It sniiiimily erects us on the hill or the green,
charg-d accor.m-ly. j Thus lendhl enchautmc nt where'-. it is seen.
Ah! well I remcmbrr, in
The zest it gave tlaty the
r;NED h-.. iu.-t
recei ved
rsrd
r, a fn'l .-n; -ply of (.foods suit-
Consi:!lCf of
the morning of youth
acc-ntive to truth
W v)
I- -r-r-. 'rr-r!, fz r-.fi'n'TXi'T f '
j
i2jOrX3, LHCZS. iiATS. AUD CAPS,
nn:f3 tc. &.C.
V'..: wi:! l c sol! "Wholoalo
And now thi;
sward,
(Jo-.!.
bright cr'::i when crn.hed to the
its bright blushes and looks up to
.So nieck and so mild, so patient and true,
Its fidelity .-c'-nit.l i-y yui:ng heart to woo.
And o'er it I bint, it tecir.i-d wl.i-priiig kind;
And bade rue !.".. u ward tine pleasure to find.
J l:V 1 i iv
1 --'j. i:
or- Pa toil at
M.i'kct prices IV i Caih or
Then Fiy Df;t 'ti vain .
! Oi't hath ifc cheered
j Aud taught t:iy ceh
And ever and 'iire-
ii a
sti.i
v t
.colli embosst 1 fiower,
"i.-ersi'y's hour!
j -ys to admire,
hc.ivtMi aspire.
and iron, and ecrub my floor, before I go to
bed, so as to be clean for Sunday.'
Why, its a shame for your fattier, it is to
be "Irtttinr the likes of a wee thing like you
wasa arvT iron, avid scrub ; vby don't he put
it out ?' -
'Put it out ?' exclaimed the child while a
soft silvery laugh went rippling through the
kitchen ; 'that would be great, when he has a
big girl like me to do it, and he so lame,
and yarn costs , so much, and he makes so
little. If he was to put it out, where would
the school books come from, and the like of
that T
By this time the bread and butter was
consumed, and the little hardy bands and
feet warmed.
fI must go,' said Katrine; (we had found
out ber name ) 'its most night, and I've six
pair left. You'd better take this pair. If
you will I will run right home, for that will
make just enough to pay the rent.'
I bought the stockings, and as I dropped
three shiuing quarters into that hand so
prematurely worn, she dropped a courtesy,
and with the most grateful tone said, 'Oh,
I thank vou, I am so glad dow. I can run
risht home and cet my work done and
ugh !" she added shivering, 'its so cold, and
almost dark too, for me to be running around
to sell any more.'
Away she darted, and as her bright, cheer
ful face disappeared, we felt that a light Lad
pone out or tne twnignt Enaaowmg o; our
i m m i mm.
..! i;
EH ::::l-.;r;i
je
r has ju-.i
ie(
: v ii
it his New
LiJ IwOJ; vvy
door T'.ist f Thompsons M.ui.tain House
miscellaneous.
. kua:.cis oage.
cim? a feeble knock at my
this fearfully cold
erini: over the cooking
the basement
;p ! tar
BY
'"V
made
t of AM. mXDS of
mu tm mm hats,
VCTV 1'V.- f.-l- c vsir.
CT.INTOX it
: p.-; .
JOXKS.
' .'TTTTT
i":'ir.itsinxr.i, haa
of P.i.ots and Sh-.cs
i '.veil M-lertotl a? .-iortnu i:t
ed to his
A very
of Mi:.
SlHilTS Mi:NS HAKiiElLLES
".. i!j do to
lr"ns do do do
'.lil.ives, and Ladies Mitts, and (J ft its. do.
nil Boys Sr.speadcrs, I'lack Xeck Ties,
' :' Neck Tics, L idles and Gent. Linen llar.d
' i ll,, "-U! and Oj'.ored Lir.cn I'I. ss.
door, just at t.igl t -fa.II
evening, as i stood no
stove, wbl-'i, being in
the wrnnest room in tlie house.
'And shure, v.asi-n't there a knock at the
door I' said Lizzie, as she laid down her
knife and the lcf of bread that she was cutting-'
,
Tap ! tap ! tap ! agiin fell upon the ice
coveied pannel, this timo a little more; dis
tinctly, and Lizzie s-.raug by, exclaiming :
'Who in the worh' m h; out this fraz'Cg
r.i.dit T She oL-n'-d tiio door and iu stepped
a little gill of s Km; twelve years of ago
thoili t-Le was I warfv-d r.nd cran.prd in size
til! iho might have pissed for ten.
liny my stockin::s to-night, lua'am?' asked
a sweet, c'.ar, childish vcr.a.
'No. I besirve rot,' was my response, (I
; really did not need iheni.) and she turned to
e
room
"What a reproach was that child's simple
tale to the cotuplainers all around scarce
out of her infancy, yet bearing on her young
heart and bands the duties and cares of a
mother and housekeeper, merchant and school
girl, and yet as bright and gleeful as the
summer shunshine as full of warbling as
the spring bird. -
Oh ! none need be poor none need to
suffer for the good gifts of God if all were
as industrious, cheerful, self-denying, and
sel f-sacrificing as little Katrine. I am glad
I bought her stockings, and as oft as I see
them I thall think of her of he struggles,
and the conquest of her unselfish love.
VTho can prophesy of her future ? I have
seldom seen a finer eye, or more speaking
face. She will outstrip hr companions in
luxury the will know through coustact
exercise and effort, the value of herself.
How proud were her words, when she told us
of all she could do ; not boastingly, but as if
it was natural and right, and the easiest
thing in the world to do. Heaven bless and
prosper thee, little one, end give thee strength
for all thy lahor and love. m
The Daughter's of Malta A corres
pondent of the Columbus (O ) Gazette who
is evideutly one of the fraternity, thus en
lightens the people as t") the subject of the
WoldM't Get Mad.
Old TlarryUrewer, or " Ilot Corn Harry,"
as he was more familiarly known about the
east side of L-'-jrn. was for many years a shi
ning light in one or our African churches ,
and was, bylong odds the most powerful! ex-
horter of the congregation. Old Harry was,
most undoubtedly, a good christian ; and pro
ved it by living up to the precepts he taught
Ilia extreme good nature vas proverbial,
and many a bet was lost and won by the young
men of ijrana. street and the Jiowery, in vain
attempts to make Harry - lose his temper.
Go way, boys, go way I was his answer,
when thev p'ayed their wild pranks upon
him. Je gf 3, Book cays :Wben any one
smites oh drrac cheekj you must turn him
do oder.'
The nearest approach that Harry was ever
known to make towards losing his temper,
was about ten years ago. He had a plan
whereby he preserved his corn perfectly fresh
and green till December or January ; and at
that season of the year, he would go out and
make the streets resound with his cry of 'Hot
Corn ! hot corn! pipin just come out of de
biliu' pot!' and he realized a handsome profit
from its sale.
JJunag tne year in question, Harry was
unfortunate, and his corn decayed : and out
of a large quantity he had put away, he only
saved enough to go with one or two niguts,
In the early part of December, Harry's
voice was beard in the Bowerv singinz his
well known song; and in one of the bar-rooms
a bet was made that Harry could be thrown
oil his guard. In a few moments Harry en
tered the bar-room, and set his bucket on the
floor; but before he could get ready for his
business, he was pulled around in all sorts of
ways, une pulled him by the whiskers, an-
Ermililin's Son.
Speaking of the 6on of Dr. Franklin, the
Newburyport lie raid bays ;
"As the name of irankhn is prominently
before the public, it may not be uninteresting
to give some account of Ins only son, u
liam, about whom we think little is known
by the community at large. Unlike his fath
er, whose chief claim is for the -invaluable
service he rendered his country in her great
est need, the son was, from the first to the
last, a devoted loyalist. Before the Revolu
tionary war he held several civil andmihtaiy
offices of importance. At the commencement
of the war, he held the office of Governor of
New Jersey, which appointment he received
in J775. When the' difficulty between the
mother country and the colonies was coming
to a crisis, be threw bis whoH influence in
favor of loyalty, and endeavored to prevent
the Legislative Assembly of Xew Jersey from
sustaining the proceedings of the General
Congress of Philadelphia. These efforts,
however, did but little to -stay the tile of
popular sentiment in favor of resistance to
tyranny, and soon involved him in difficulty.
He was deposed from office by the wbigs, to
give place to William Livingston, and sent a
prisoner to Connecticut, where he remained
two years in East Windsor, in the house of
Captain libenezer Graut, where the Theolo
gical Seminary now stands. In 1778 he was
exchanged, and soon after went to England
There he spent the remainder of his life, re
ceiving a pension from the British govern
ment for his fidelity. lie died in 1813, at
the age of 82.
As might have been expected, Lis opposi
tion to the cause of liberty, so dear to the
heart of his father, produced an estrangement
between them. For rears they had no inter-
other bv the coat tail; and altogether he was t course when, in 171)1, the son wrote to the
bcioe made anythiaff but comfortable. But father. In his reply. Dr. Franklin says :
all that could be got from Harry was
"Go way, boys, pro way!''
All attempts to provoke him farther, failed;
iious
-out again iuto the per-
cary, Carpet r-'acks, Trr.t.ks
: tk-ltt iiocissarv kept in bis li
every
Mm a rail and examine lr yourselves.
niKMSCASH. CLINTON ii. .JONES.
W DRUGS DRUGS!!
rrsr opened and roi: hale by il s.-
IJUNX, M. U., A general assortment of
bliccs, Cils, Faints. Dye-StuHs,
r:
-that Hub
Cold
'But c.-ii:e iu and warm will yni not V I
added.
'Ob! yes, ira'am, for ifc very cold,' and I
sue cpf roacnea me gloving stove now red
hot and sat down on her willow basket, in
which lay a pair of wnllen stockings, and
etrctehed cut her little half-f.ozeu hands to
catch the warmth.
'Oh ! its nicj
looking up wiih
I latest "Secret Associa'ion.
Mr. Editor: idaoy questions have been
ked in regard to the 'Daughters of Malta,"
who thev are and wlnt is their object.
Their obiect is to relieve widowers, desti- and into the cellar of this building Harry de
tn I -ifhfdnrs bandies. Hottentots, anei t scenciou, wuiieine younsr men wno uaa 101
and, as a last resort, one of the young men
took up bis pail of corn and said:
"Harry, I've a good notion to throw all
your corn out into the street!"
"Hush! hush!'' said Harry, "dont talk dat
way, for you make me feel bad! for if you
frow my corn in do street now, you must ruin
de old darkey. Ain't had no wood to saw
hardly this fall, and no white-washing. My
wife been sick dis two moths, and my corn's
all rotted; and I aint got cuffin' to 'pend on,
but de Lord!"
"Well. Harry!" said he who held the Luck
et, "you have got a good backer, so here
goes the corn!" and suiting the action to the
word, he threw the corn into the street.
Harry looked very sadly after his property;
and, as he picked up his empty bucket, he
paid:
"De Lord's will bo done?" and started on a
brisk trot from the scene of his temptation, as
he resolved cot to give way to the wrath he
felt rising within him. In .Elizabeth street a
new building was in the course of erection,
"Nothing has ever hurt me so much, and af
fected me with 6uch deep sensations, as to
and warm here !' s'e said
a cheerful smile, and her
U just suit you, with
GffiS.
U Cutlery, Itazors. Brushes. Combs, Sratiou
. lilrik Hooks, Perfumery. S aps. Tobacco,
Snutl's and other articles usually kept in
ores.
Id. S. BUNN, M. D.
E:r.birg, May, 4, 1859.-21-13
' r.:.i:i). T. I.. HKTER
'-'M-urg, Johnstown
r'Ek ISIIl'ER, Attorney at Law
i i iveu in tne lngnsn and uermnp
'i en High StrettEbensbnrg. Tenn'a.
Cl;o. ly
0
J ACK SOX & CJ-ARtv,
;;H0X DENTISTS, JOIINS'l OWN, PA.
H fifths fi,m will be in Ebcnsburg during
!''' !ir.-t ti-ii (l.ivs if f'.irli month.
z which time all persons dei-
e i.
n; .U r tv ,
" ffi at the i flke of l)r. Lewis, nearly oppo-i-iuif
Iloti-l. fmav25.1859tf.
5turer and Dealer In all Kinds cfCie
-si Chewing and Leaf Tobacco. Mcntgom
yst., Hollisdaysbars, Pa.
I Vsx'.ar.tly on band, a fine and well selected
i t: i ljf S-paiasli. and half Spanish cigars.
t';r.v-.' i"- P'ssible prices. All articles sold at
' nt ai'C warranted to be what they
-y'-preioiUcL
I
Hf;1,0VArj PAUL CHAFF, MA NUT' AO
r'' " r'n,i Wholesale Dealer in Boots, Shoes,
f!:a rtet' between
Arch and Cherry. Phila-
f March 0, 185G.
, JouxsiiAimAiJGir,
V ie of the Peace, SitmmUtTillr, Pa.
11USINESS 1NT1SUSTKD TO HIS
al V rromjttly attended to. He will
hissZj38 - tlonc,:rat l'ublic Sales whenever
. R. S. BTOH. H. D.
XJJISUIS PliOFESSIONA L Services to
4Sf KltnLirR. f tffico in Drug
v a 'feh btrectopiM.fcito Thoiiiptuii'. llo-
I:lUrs.M;1y,4,.1S.,v
ZiVMt expressive eyes Iookea her happincs3.
'But won't you I. iy n pair of stockings ?
Here s n pair mat wi
double hc:ls and toes';'
I tool; the articles so eoaxingby offered and
found they v.-ere just what she recommended
them.
Where doou get them, they are so nice V
I said
'My father weaves them. .
And you go out to sell?'
Yes, ina'am. I go two afternoons a
week.'
Have you no mother ?'
'3Iy mother died about three years ago.'
'And who takes care of you now?'
'Oh! I live with my father no he, and
my brother and sister.'
Is ycur sister older '?'
Oh ! t,J ma'am, fdie is only half as old.
She was only a little thing when my moth
er died.
We buttered the bright faced little one a
large slice of bread, which she took thank
fully, and then we went on with our ques
tioning. And how do you get along being hou?e-
Oh ! first-rate since sister
to go to school
'W hat, you. and sister, and brother and
leave your father at home to weave stock
ings 'Yes, Ma'am, I get up before light ia the,
morning, and then I get the breakfast, and
wash up the dishes, and sweep the floor, and
wash and comb brother and sister, and then
we all away to school, and when we come
out at night then I get supper, and do up
the work : I study after that to keep up with
my class.
'Aud don't 3'ou get behind sometimes ?'
. 'Never or.ee sometimes I'm ahead, and
then I like that; it makes me study harder.'
Abd the great blue eyes dilated with pride
while the smile of self-satisfaction fitted over
her face
But how do you manage to sell your stock
ings .'
Why, in the summer, you know, I can go
after school, azd in the winter my teacher
excuses me Wednesday afternoons, and I
study harder, and make it up.' s
And who does your washing ?' asked
Lizzie. .
Why. I do, to be sure I do all. I wash
ed this morning before I came out to sell my
i blockings ; and to-night I must get supper,
orphan male children.
For the widower the lahn of con solution
is procured, and administered with a gen-
erous uauu.
The destitute bachelor is supplied with all
that is necessary to aiaka lifj happy, a wife
and Lutlons
The dandy is kindly cared for and trans
planted to a richer soil, where the brain will
grovr with sufjcicnt rapidity to gain ascen
dency over the moustache.
The children have their rags mended,
their, faces washed, and ore supplied with
which to wash their eyes aud noses.
Voluntary subscriptions are thankfully re
ceived at times for the Hottentots, .(the
poor heathens.)
- . . "ft 4
Hoping th:. explication win prove satis
tactory to the inquisitive public, we remain
yours respectively.
B. D.
X. B. It is said that the "Sons of Mal
ta" have designs upon the Island of Cuba
Let it not be supposed that we are coadju
tors, but in all confidence we tcill say that
lowed him, crept stealthily after, to see what I
he would do.
Away back in a far corner Harry went, I
out of hearing from the street, and there. ip
on his bended knees, he gave vent to his feel
ings in this wiso:
Oh, Lord! Fse most tempted to git mad,
but I won't do it for the sake of a pail ob
corn Dem was de wickedest boys that I eb
er got amongst; but you made 'em, and I
won t complain. Its a hard case, and you
know I ain't hah qj work most dis fall and
Hannah's sick; and I only hab a little corn,
and dem wicked boys throwed it most all
away. But I wont get mad at 'em; for you
hab said that justice ara journ But give
em justice, and make 'em repent ofdereevil
wajs Take 'em, oh, Lord! and hold 'em
obcr the bottomless pit, and shake 'era! and,
if your a mind, to, singe 'em a wcrry little;
but, oh! good Lord, dc very careful, and
don t let 'em tall in; ana wuen u leeis eo aoi
dey 'gin to repent, dem let 'em go ngin, and
den dey 11 be better men:
His prayer ended, Harry came forth, looK-
Snd myself deserted, in my old age, by my
ouly sou ; and not only deserted, but to find
him taking up arms against me in a cause
wherein my good fame, fortune and life were
all at stake."
In his will, also, he alludes to the part his
son had acted. After making some bequests
he adds : " I he part he acted 8gainst me in
the late war, which is of public notoriety,
will account for mv leaving him no more of
an estate he endeavored to deprive me cf."
The patriotism of the father stands forth
all the brighter when contrasted with the de
sertion of his son.
W A certain official did not hesitate to
avail himself of the advactsges cfiered by his
position. The master of a merchant vessel,
having need of bis good offices, sent him a
bale of coffee. The servant placed it before
his master. 'What is this?' 'A bale of
coffee, of which Captain A. asks your accep
tance.' 'Good.' replied his master, 'leave it
here and go and tell Captain A. that I never
take my coffee without sugar." The Captain
.i - .v: .
was not siow in uispaicning soino sugar io
sweeten the coffee
Threatened Indian War In 5feTrns
ka. From the St. Joseph Journal, 9th.
A few days since we mentioned that an
urmed band of Cheyenne Indians had made
a descent on a Pawnee village, and. in the
absence of the warriors, massacred the old
men, women and children, and laid waste
their village. It appears the Pawners are
now in pursuit of their enemies and in their
march are proving a serious annoyance to the
whites, thieving, robbing, and" in some in
stances even attacking those through wboe
settlements they are passing.- The Omaha
JftbrasTiian, of Saturday 2d icst , says :
"Yesterday afternoon, two men came into
the city in great haste, bringing the intelli
gence that a party of eleven Pawnees bad
attacked four white settlements the night
before, near the town of De Witt, Dodge
county, Eome ten miles northwest of Font
anelle, and about fortv miles from this city.
The Indians were iepu'sed with the loss of
four of their number killed. One of the
whites was wounded, but cot seriously.
Our informant says that from 700 to SCO
Pawnee warriors were encamped but a short
distance from the skirmish referred to, and
serious difficulties were apprehended. All
the whites had armed themselves, and were
momentarily expecting . a renewal of hostili
ties They brought r petition to Governor
Black, urging: the necessity of calling out the
militia for their protection. A small body
of men, well armed, left this city for tho
seat of war last night, and others will follow
to-day.
It is believed that the savages are a por
tion of the band sent out against the Cheyn
hees, and fears are entertained that they
will ravage the settlements near them before
starting out. - A couplo of Pawnee runners,
evidently spies, were arrested in this city
last evening, and lodged in jail They were
endeavoring to get out of town just cs the
armed force fron here was stjrtinr.
we hope at some future day to sxibjvgate tJie ing as good natured as ever; and the young
Lie of Man.
IToor-3 iv Paris "Belle Brittan" writes
from Paris, in March last, that crinoline is
subsiding. The hunt ton of Paris have never
worn hoops of such vast rotundity as we have
seen io New York ; and without being too
curious cn the subject, I have come to the
conclusion that the Parisian skirts, as cow
worn, are made of some more flexible mate
rial than steel. At all events it yields more
easily and gracefully in a crowd. The bon
nets arc becoming larger, and the grisettes
(who wear caps only) crc the enly barehead
ed people in the streets of Paris. Trailing
dresses are worn only in carriages and draw
ing rooms, and in cut and color they are mere
subdued than iu Broadway.
The Tkmper. We rise at morning, and
the birds sing joyoualy in the roof-tree, and
flowers smile without stain, all odorous, in
the grrden beneath cur eyes ; and they be
guile us to unconsciousness as we walk forth.
We forget the caprices of fortune ; we think
nothing of the faies ! Wc sing, and smile
not dreaming what the hour shall bring forth;
especially as, with too many of us, there lies
a serpent among our Cowers sleek, smooth
who, even if we see it, looks cot so much
like a serpent, but rather like a friend ! so
Bwect, so smiling, so very losing !
In Ludlow, Mass., there is & young
man of twenty-four 3eara of age, blind from
his infancy, who has made with hi3 own hands
a small steam engine, so small that he can
cairy the whole of it in his pocket, and get
up steam at pleasure. He is also a practical
engineer, and has run as such on the Mad
River Bailroad in Ohio, having, of course,
some one for a look-out. Ha ia also a thor
ough proficient in vocal and instrumental
music.
is bi; enough
We all fo to school now.'
A Good Stout. An anecdote, worth
lauf'hin'r over, is told of a uiau who had an
infirmity, as well as an appetite, for fish
He was anxious to kep up his character for
honesty, even while making a bill with bis
merchant, as the story goes, and when his
back was turned the honest buyer slipped a
cod-fish up under his coat tail. But the gar
ment was too short to cover up the theft, and
the merchant perceived it.
Now." said the customer, anxious to im
prove all opportunities to call attention to his It then should be carefully decanted from the
irtnna "Mr Merchant. I have traded with lees and bottled
men, who were in waiting lor mm, iook mm
back into the bar-room, and the proceed? of
the bet, five dollars, was handed over to him
which amply remunerated him for the loss of
his stock in trade. A7-. Y. Mercury.
Blackberry Wixe. Mash the fruit, and
strain through a coarse cloth to the ex
pressed juice add an equal quantity of wa
ter, and to every gallon of the mixture add
three poands best brown sugar. Put it into
covered stone jars until the fermentation is
over and the liquor becomes perfectly clear.
. ... ii , .i.
A neivous rnau whose life was made
miserable by the clattering of two blacksmiths
who occupied respective shops in his vicinity,
prevailed upon each of them to remove, l3
the ofier of a liberal pecuniary compensation.
When the monc3' was pail down, he kindly
inquired what neighborhood they intended to
remove to.
"Wh3" sir." replied Jack, with a grin on
his phiz, ''Tom Smith moves to my shop,
and I move to his !"
"Sally,'
aid a
venerable white h:-t and
you a great deal, and paid you up promptly
snd honestly, haven t 1 :
"O. ves. said the merchant, "l make no
complaint,"
"Well." said the customer, "I alwaj-s in
sisted that honesty is the best policy, aud the
best rule to live and die by.
"That's so," replied the merchant.
And the customer turned to depart.
"Hold on, friend," cried the merchant,
"speaking of honesty, I have a bit of advice
to give you. Whenever you come to trade
again, you had better wear a longer coat or
steal a shorter cod-fish."
Raspberry and Elderberry
made in the same way.
Wine can be
gT An editor had a bottle of London
Dock Gin presented him, and after drinking
the whole of it, he wrote a "notice" of it
Hero is a gocd specimen of the article,
Here's to the ladies and other branches
of business (hie) in and around town and
especially to the Messident's Pressage, Mcn
ington Washument, etc., all of which may
be had cheap at the Buch Drook Brook
aud Duck store of old London Dock Gin,
for $2 a year, if payment is delayed until
the end of the Atlantic Cable,"
Breathes there a man with soul so
dead, who never to himself hath said, will a
family paper take, both for 103 own and chil
dren's sake. If such there be, let him repent
if he'd pass a bopp3 winter, he in advance
should pay the printer.
rjio 1
XSce here, Gripps, I understand you
bnvf a snnerior wav of eurincr hams. I
should like to learn it-" "Well, yes, I know
very well how to cure them, but the trouble
with me, just now, is to find out a way to
.1
pro-cure tuern.
JtiT An Irishman was testifying in Court,
the other day, in regard to an assault with a
gun, and delivered hiiuse-lf in this manner:
"Plaze your honor, stroke a hcav3' blow with
a goon, and broke it in three halves."
Gen. Robert Patterson has been ree
lected Major General of the First Division
Pennsylvania Volunteers, comprising the city
of Philadelphia, by a majority of 20 overGen.
Cadwalader.
green youth, in a
re3' pants, through
which his legs projected half a foot. "Sally,
before wc go into this 'ere museum to see the
Enchanted Horse, I want to ask 3ou some
thin.' "
"Well, Ichabod, what is ii?' '
"Why, 3-ou see this 'ere business is gouf
to cost a hull quarter of a dollar apiece, and
I can't afford to stand so much for uothin',
Now, ef you'll say 3-ouMl have me, darned if
I dou't pay tht hull ou't myself I will !"
Sally made a non-committal reply, which
Ichabod interpreted to suit himself, aud
strode up two steps at a time, and paid the
whole ou't.
tgL. "Mr. Tomkins," said a young lady,
who had been showing off her wit at the ex
pense of a dangler, "you remind me of a ba
rometer, that is filled with nothing in the
upper story." "Divine Julia," meekly re
plied her adorer, "in thanking you for that
compliment, let me remind you that you oc
cupy my upper story."
' 3?" A Gentleman traveling on horseback
out West, came upon aa Irisiiu.au who was
fencing in a most barren and desolate piece of
land. "What are you fencing in that lot for
Pat?" said he, "a herd of cows would starve- to
death on that land."
"And sure, your honor, wasn't I fencing it
to kape the poor bastes out if it!"
Rev. Mr.
an eccentric preacher
in Michigan, was holding forth cot long sincei
in Detroit. A young man arose to go out,
when the preacher said: "Young man if
you'd rather "0 to hell than hear me preach,
you may go!" The sinner stopped and re
flected a moment, and saying, respectfully.
"Well, I believe I would," weutcn.
been
10
Massachusetts Suffrage. German Yo
ter 'I wish to deposit my vote, sir.
Inspector 'How long have you
the State ?'
German 'Almost s&ren years.'
Inspector 'You can't vote,'
Negro 'Hello, Sam ; is you gwiue to vote
to-Jay?'
Sam I doesn't know, chile, Fse ony been
here free days.'
Negro 'Dut doesn't make a dwT-a Littcr
ance ; jist go right up and vote.
S3T The latest freak of suicide occurred
last Sunday week, near Cumminsville, Ohio,
where a (Jerman, named Hutoff, got Tip at
five o'clock in the morning, went out snd
chalked his last will and testament on the eel
lar door; conveying all his property to his
wife, and then cut his throat.
Poverty is only niisfoitune whpn
wishes keep the purse-strings. Poverty is
the normal condition of man ; neither banks,
stocks, dividends, houses nor rents were
dreamed of in Eden. Adam was happy, and
never saw a check-book in his life.
"There are some members of a com
munity." said the sagacious and witty Thom
as Bradbury, "that are like a crumb in the
throat ; if they go the right uy they sfford
but little nourishment : but if they happen to
go the icroitj nay, they give 3 great deal of
trouble."
. A man camo into a printing office to
beg a newspaper :
"Because," sail lit, "wc like to read
newspapers very much, but our neighbors aro
all too stiiv3' to take one."
The foundation of San Francisco dales
fro.nThe 27th of June. 177G. It was, there
fore, eighty-three years of age on the 27th
nit., or a week older than the "National In
dependence" of the Union ir. which its Stato
conspicuously figures.
Rather Equivocal. A New York paper
says of a favorite actress, "the more' the pub
lic see rf her the better they like her." And
the impudent fellow goes on to say "we
hope to sec as much as possible of ber before
her departure."
!T Tl.e Lawrence County Bank has been
Passinc: alonjr, a youth tere his coat
1 ... . . . !
ft.rnim outnt Pit t s.bu rtr w loam bv on a nail in a barrel seeing wliica. lie situck
etle-rBi.li to the otfiao Inilay & Bickneli'is ' an attitude and exclaimed "See what a rent
lue e-livicUB catii uas iiiacie.
Jfttportcr