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lit .ii-' ui tn in n '
TUB BLESSINGS OF OOVEBSMENT,I.IK THB DEWS OP nEATEK, fifibtD 3 MSTEttirri'-Atttta COS I HIGH AK0 THS'liwTH SICH AU TH OOB.
"
A
fflr SERIES
EBEfiSBEKG, PI, WEDNESDAY; MARCH 16, 1859.
VOL. 6 NO. 17.
"0
TT3 R M S:
EMOCR AT & , SENTIN EL. IS 'PUB-
Fifty Cksts
, -
lished evlry Wednesday Mornfng at
. "ileepy looting individual; 'we're all lost, I "way, and Jwhfen yon want to rTnake it lighter
' ' . !- ;. x n
- . a trn r i if r v .k'i h w r anviTirvi
'"-.hViii advance; Ose Dollar ak'd Seventy
:,'rz Ce t if iwt paid vvithin Vix months, and
jwDoti-AR if not paid until the termination
; t', year.
VisuBscrii'ti wiU be taken for . a shortei
rjo! than six months, and no subscriber will be
;bertv to diominue nis paper uniu an ar
Jges'are pU , except at the option ot the
t : l : r . : mi i
i. iwrAOU SUPs .ru'iiii; s u 1110111113 win lit?
fi7ed one p-llab. uuless the money
is p
dd
Adtertlln? Rates.
On", insert n. licodo.
Three no
1 .niare,
j qn.tres,
I glares
elinei or ies.
i:i:iare, f 12 lilies
2 glares
II-.
12 lines $ 60 $ 75 $1 GO
24 lines 1 00 1 00 2 0)
3C lines 1 L0 2 00 8
S months. 6 do. 2 t!o
50 $3 00 45' 00
2 SO 4 60 9 00
4 00 7 00 12 00
6 00 9 00 14 00
10 00 12 00 20 00
15 00 22 Ot) So Co
... l . 1. 1 T 1 1
(i .VI a iv r ii:-in! T.i-i imiM ue marKen wun
t'-, r.ui iber of iijx irtlons desired, or they w in be
oati :i;iel until f.rb!l. and charged accord irtlj'.
i lines)
fuG line..
Select poctt ji.
ToftTj' Into Ileaven Klie Failed.
Si-ftly into Heaven she faded.
As tlie slcr when morn appears,
VI:i r. 'j st oJ in Rilene round her;
G.c:.' :;t her thjoxigli our tear.
Pc.-.t!.. siie .dd, had not a shadow;
Alltl.o vale was full oijigh't,
Aau lie left lis, emilicpf awec-try, v
liiJiIin us a hust g-.""d 'liil'itf
Saving, us she kissed us fund'y,
' Do not drop for me one tear
Jesn, Jcm stands beside m -
I r.ra sr.f w hile h? b- dvar!"
i'i f- i- (one, and I am lingering
In this weary world of ourj,
ter.rir.g un my hart the a-diea
Of fK-ctivii's Lroktn flowtfr;
Etcr longing to he with her,
Iu that b. tter Lome alv
Wnery thf heart p-j;oes evc-r.
In the ile.ithh-ss bond of love.
T-'r i, nvui?r.t de-.ith devide's .
lint when I hiva cr'ed s h-jizi,
i 'ih!! tli-ii be rtit.. wi'.h h:r,
Ilvtr. evt r in."rf at homo.
iUmrdfoncous.
from the rarlsbttrg ( Va.) Xrvs.
Male anl Female Red-Wamus
on llielr Wedding Tour.
vi'tit PeUrslurq. nnd tit for a Ptn-
Pietvre from t7it Editor of tne Jcm;.
Tbe train from Grafton, due here at 11:40
A M. under the management of that gentle
Citilv. amiablf. popular and efficient conduc
tor. Captain ?cott. a few days t ince stopped
itrtifi of th way Fta'ion3 to tako on a eouph
c-Ty rnnrricd. l?oth were younjr, and roih
"ro vrr lnnt; having been raised in the wilds
f We?tern Virginia, Deithr of racm had
'v.rlren fifty txilc away from "ndoje. They
'si V,ca-d of railways. locomotives, steam -W
&Ld hotels, but had never experienced
'a comforfs of any of the aforementioned
ia.;:iU2t;.3ns. Jecms andY.ize had determined
on tVis, and th most'iniportant event of their
iirsg, to visit the city and see the world, par
iicu'uvh tV.:.t Tirt of it knoWn asTarkerpburff.
No wondrr they were amazed aad delighted ;
when the locomotive, steatninc and r?rtin,
with th trin of "beautiful crimson cars fol
briiiij it camera s"iht.
'These your trunks?' said the baggage-
Well, I soiter calkilate Tuem'u em, said
The trunks (a spotted hair trunk and a
ttry old fsliioned valise) were soon in the
ta?race ear. followed by 'Lize and Jeems.
'I'll be darned ef railroads ain't a fine
thinp. said Jern!. sentinjr himself oil bi9
'aesae and carefully holding up the tails of
his tight-bodied blue, adorned with re?plen
3&nt metal buftons, crixt of "the du'rt. 'Li'ze
set here by we '
'Come out or that,' said the baggage-man,
'jouare'in the wrong 'car.'
, 'Tbe duce I am ! D'ye 'tpose I don't
fcnow v?hat I'm about ? These is my traps,
I calkilate to stay where they are. Keep
Tiiet. Lize, they say we've got toght dur
iy through the -world, any how, aTid if that
ftop with the cap on 'wants anything, why
Tm his man. Don't want any of "y dur foolin'
UBd me I
, Here the Captain in'ter'posed and explained
.p-atters, insomuch that Jeems consented to
ve lis traps and follow the Captain. What
bis delight when he eurveyed'the tnagni-
?'a
-wcce of the first class nasseneer car into
.'uich he was ushered. His imagination had
eTcr in its wildest flights piclnred ariythlng
lie was aroused from the
lalf
so goreeous.
wnteraplation of pplendor around Vim "by the
"ficKS ot the iron horse
'Jeewhilliken! wbatln tlrander's taatT'
claimed Jeema. .
'That's the horse frquallrng when they
F?och him in the ribs with a pitchfork to make
m go along,' sa"id a t-leepy-looTcing "rodiTid
3" just behind him.
'Look here, atranger,' said Jeems,. . 'low
j" luimt l'm a durned fool may be I am ;
lucre
V. a lli V. . I. . a
p it ehet. l donl say ninch' 'just
every mother s son of us we can just prepare
now to make the acquaintance of the gentle
man in black, who tends the big fire down
below.'
Oh, Lord ! Jeems, what will become of
us ? I felt skeery about gettin' on the out
landish thing at first.'
'Keep quiet, Lize 1 "hollerin' won't do any
good now. Ef yotiTtnow any prayer, now's
jour time to say it, for both of us.'
What's (he matter here'?' 'said the astoun-
j ded conductor, ''coming' up as the train Once
more emerged into the light.
.'That's jist what I'd like to know,' said
Jeems, when he saw Lize and himself were
still alive.
. 'tve've just passed through 'EatpnV tun
nel,' "replied our polite Captain. 'How far
are you coiog Y .
Wall, reckoi we'll stop at Parkersburg.'
'Show your.tiekct, if you please.'
'Sartainly; Lize, you got some with you ?
"Let this gent look at 'em '
Lize drew a' piece of white paper from her
reticule, and, with a smile, handed it to our
friend the Caritaiu who read :
The pleasure rf your company is resjtect-
fully solicited.
Yvhat s this said the captain.
Why, that's one of the tickets to our wed
din' Ihat vbat you asked for, haint it?' said
the somewhat surprised Jeems
Whaw ! haV! haw ! haw I Baw ! haw !'
was'the discordant sound that arose from "the
scat of the sleepy Ifioking' individual.
A bland smile played over the face of the
Captain, as he explained his meaning to ttar
' verdant friend. lie had no tickets, but wil
lingly paid his fare, and the train sped on
towards' its 'destination. But wonders did not
cease here presently our pert newsboy, Bil-
j iy, entered ibo'car, and stepping Tip to Jeems
he asked
'Have a Sun. sir ?'
Wall, ef I 1 ave my way about it, the fust
one will be a son. sertain. said Jeems. Lize
blushed.
Don t cunt tout chickens afore they are
hatched I' said Billy, as hastened on to the
next car
'In dUe'time the train stopped at the big
depot in this city. Amidst confusion ot
stranse noic. and a babel of discordant voi
ces' our friends landed on tbe platform
"Bufs, sih ? Buss, sab free "for the Uni
ted States!' said the sable porter of our np
town house. 'Lady take a bus3fc sah
Wall, T rather spose 6he won't from any-
t.odv but me reckon I n able to uo an m
that line she wants, and more too ' -
do to de Swann House, sab 7 ncht cross
de street best house in the city This way.
P3h any baggage? Have it sent to your
room in a few minutes.'
Tu a short time Jeems and his bride found
themselves in one of those comfortable rooms
on the second floor of that well ordered es
tablishment, the SwannTTouse. The baggage
wa? sent up with the usual promptness, and
our friends were soon making their toilet for
dinner. Jeems had his coat and boots off in
a jiffy, and Lize's hair fell gracefully over
her shoulders.
That's a duced purty torse I ' saidJeems.
eyeing the bell cord; 'wonder wliat it's fur?'
catching lold of it. 'Look, it works up there
on some sort of a tbiogembob. I'd like to
have that torsel to put on my horse s head
next muster day ; see how it works,' giving
it a pull.
Presently the door opened, and the sable
face of ono of Afric's sons was thrust into the
room, with the inquiry, 'Ring, son?'
'Ring ring what ? you black ape .! ef you
don't quit lookin' at my wife, and make your
se'f scarce. I'll icrinq vour bead off.'
'Stnn a minit.' said Lize. "What's the
name of the man that keeps this tavern?'
'Mr. Conler. inarm .'
'Well, tell his'lady that she needn't go to
any eixtra finn on our aceount, tor were
plain people,' said the amiable bride.
Ai they tised to say in our debatrn'S'ocie
ty,' interrupted Jeems, Til amend that mo
tion bp saying you can tell 'em'to give us the
best they ve got. I'm able to pay tor it ana
don't keer for expenses.
Tee hee ! tee hee 1' was the ouly audible
rcplv from the sable treni. S3 be hurried down
stairs.
Dinner came, and was dispatched with a
relish. Jeems and bis bride took a stroll
over the city ..seeing the lions and other sights
until supper-time, which being over, they re
tired to their room. The sras was lit by tbe
servant, who received a bright quarter for his
services. Jeems was'the last in bed. and ac
cording to the rule of such cases, had to put
out the light, which he did 'with a blast from
Tiis lungs
Tbe noise in tbe street bad died away, and
quiet reigned in the Swann House. The
young man on the watch dozed in bis chair.
The clerk (rather coipulent) was about tote
tire, when he thought be smelt gas. Some
one came down stairs and said be smelt gas
The guests (80me of tbem) woke tip and
smeh gas. Much against bis will, the clerk
proceeded, to find where the leak was. It
seemed stronger in the neighborhood of the
room occupied by the bride and groom.
Clerk concmdeS tolcnoclrat tbe docrr of tbeir
y6u give it a turn this way. Serious conse
quences might have resulted if it bid not
been Giscovered. It roicbt have suffocated
us all. Now be careful next time.'
Much obliged But how the devil did I
know that the durned stuff was 'scapin' ?' .re
plied 'Jeems
Didn't 'you smell it?' said the clerk,
Pears to me I did smell suthin.' Replied
Jeems.
The led in our clerk's face grew smilingly
redder, as it reflected the light from the bur
ning jet, and a roguish twinkle lurked in'the
corner 6f : his eyes, 'fia be turned off the gas
and all was dark, 'and our friends were left
alone in their 'glory. A sound of suppressed
mirth ''wad heard in the reading room ,-fora
few minutes, and all was still.
fiie Zy&ei7 Cleared 1.
A few years ago Joseph Davis commenced
a prosecution in the Police ' Court ' in Cleve
land against John Wendal. 'On the trial
Wia. Davis was 'principle witness for the
proseection. 'an'd.'made'the' case strong against
the defendant. Alr. C-
on
-, the attorney
hand for cross
Steam Docterlng.
Some years ago, a bill was up before the
Alabama Legislature for establishing a Bo
tanical Medical College atWetumpka. Sev
eral able speakers had made long addresses
in support of the bill, when, one, Mr. Morris
ette, from Monroe took the floor. With
much assumed gravity, he addressed tbe
House "'as follows:
Mr. Speaker -I cannot' support this unless
assured that a distinguished friend of mine is
made one cf tlicprofeesors. He is what that
collego wishes to make for us a regular foot
doctor, ami Xrtll suit the .place exactly lie
tscatQeC'do'ctor in' fW hours, 'a'rid-it only costs
him twenty dollars to complete his education.
He bought a book, sir and read the chap
ter on fevers, and that was enough. lie was
called to see a sick woman once, so he tucked
his book under his'arm, and off he started.
She was a very" sick woman; and be felt her
wrist, looked in her mouth, and then, tur
ning to the husband, asked solemnly, if he
had a sorrel sheep?
"Why, no; I never heard of such a thing"
said the man.
'Well, there is such things," said the doc
tor nodditg bis bead itnte knowingly.
"Have you got aEOrrell horse, 'then?"
" Yes." said tbe taan:I drove "him to mill
this blessed-taOming.
"Well," said the doctor, "he nitfst be kill
ed immediately, and soup made of him for
your wife.1'
The woman turned her head away, and the
astonished man' inquired
"If something else would not do for the
soon? The horse was worth a hundred dol
lars, antl was tbe only one he had."
- "No." 6aid the doctor, "the book says so,
and if you don't believe it I "will read it to
you
(Here the learned doctor read "uood for
fevers sheep sorel or horse sorrel. )
"There, sir Vln't that plain enocgb"
"Why. doctor," said the man and his wife
at once, "it don t mean a sorrel elicco or norse
but"
'Well I know what ;I atn iibout," inter
rupted the doctor "that's 'the way we dec
tors read it. and we understand it."
The House was lb -a roar! Now, continu
ed the'mercberurllcss rny friendtbe sorrel
doctor, can be one of the professors, to which
his great talents certainly entitle "him, I
must vote against tbe bill.
This blow, it is needless to state, effectual
ly killed the bill.
of the defendant took him
examinahan as follows.
"Are you in any manner related to the
prosecuting witness?"
"How?"
"We are brothers-in-law."
"You can go down, 6ir."
Mr. C then called up and exhausted
about a djtzn witnesses, who swore that
Wni; Diivis1 and' the "pfbeeeuting witness 'were
father and son. This was clinching testi
mony, but Mr. C was calling another
witness yet, when tho Judge eaid.
"M. C there is no use calling any
more 'witnesses, 'to - that point. It is abun
dantly proved.
Mr. C replied; ' If your honor is
satisfied I .m; I only wish to show that the
witnesses 'a liar, "x.nd not to be believed;"
and be leaded himself back in his chair, ran
his' fingers through his hair, and looked a
rouod upon the crowd, while a . trhimptiirnt
grin covered his face. - -
The City Attorney then recalled William
Davis
"A dozen witnesses swear that vote and
prosec'uting-ritness are father "and on,'bdw
is that?"
"It is true,"
"Why then did yon swear a few minutes
ago that you and him were brothers-in-law."
"Because we married sisters,"
Here all "hands became convulsive with
laughter, and Mr. C 'a triumphant
gHn'p'as9ed into the reflection of despair and
his client into the county, jail.
"Ao Great Hand for Angels." -Last
Monday an old lady entered a well known
of the New York
re e some things I know, . and one of
don't kee
v iuuuu lucuijciica iu
111
'-jfvrjrian .1.-1 . w
r..-u uarKncss. ana tnen was neard a
from T ; lm0t lu-f0' tbak the engine,
D..,v Zt 88 "he threw her arms arotnd tho
'I hoW'd it"! I know'd ib P exclaimed tU
room. . . - .
Who's there ?.' came from the inside.
Open the door, the pfas ls escaping.'
" 'Gas ! what gas ?' said Jeems, opening the
door. ,
Why We in this room. How did you
pnt'yonr light orit ?'
Blew it out, of course
You played h ' Our amiable cleric canre
very near saying a bad Word, but remember
ing that there was a lady in the case, or rath
er in, bed. bo checked bis rising temper, and
having lit the gas proceeded to show Jeems
tbe mystery of its bttfniBg, 'fa fpilors": . ;
'Yoii see this littla thing here? Well. when
yoa want to put it out you gire it a turn thi$
jt2T A correspondent
Timia says : , ;
I have recently heard an amusing anecdote
abont'Gov. Wise, which is worth recording.
On the occasion of his visit to the town of
Liberty, thirty rniles west of this, during the
celebrated campaign of 1855, to "address the
people, he was -introduced to a Mr. Fogy,
whose 'residence wSs at the foot of the Peaks
of'Otter, After the introduction, Mr. F. ad
dressed Mr. Wise as follows ;
Mr. Fopy I am very glad toEee you,
"Sir. Wise.'
Mr Wise 'I am happy "to'see you. Mr.
Fogy.'.
Mr. Fogy 'I am 'sorry I can't vote for
you, Mr. Wise '
Sir. Wise 'I am sorry 'for that, too ; but
this is a free-country, and a man can vote as
he pleases.' . ,
Mr. Fogy 'My employment in leany life,
and Indeed until recently, was a thimble rig
ger. I have always been attending horse ra
ces with my 'thimbles and .ball, crying out,
'ti here and 'tain't there,' -and tain't here
and 'tis there.' For many years a celebrated
little "horse named Waxy was winner of the
stakes on every course that I was accustomed
to attend. Bets were made 'ten' to 'one' upon
him against the whole track, and he never
failed to win. While engaged one day at a
race in my usual occupation, I noticed the
ugliest, raw-boniest, scrawniest, tnos't ragged
hipped looking :beast ycfu ever did see, led
into the track, and his name was Wee Hawk.
I was soon told that he. was entered against
Waxy, and 'ten' to 'one' was readily offered
against him. I looked at Wee Hawk. He
seemed wretched, but "he had fire in his eye
I then looked at my pile, and I said, if ibet
on Waxy and win I wen't win much, but if 1
bet on Wee HawK ana win 1 wm increase
mv nile ten fold. I looked asrain at Wee
nawk. and seeiosr the fire I concluded to bet.
I did so and won. I never did see, Mr.
Wise, a man so mtich like a horse as Vou are
like Wee Hawlc, and though I can't vote for
vou I'll bet my pile on you.
Mr. Wise laughed heartily, and the result
oon "proved tha: the fire was there
book store, and inquired for a "Treatise oh
Angela." She made the inquiry of a boy,
and wis' told Chey "hadn't get no such book."
This remark caught the ear of the principle
salesman, and as he always sells something to
everybody who enters the store, he stepped
forward and addressed the old lady:
"We're just Out of the book 'you're in
search of ma'am, but we've got Fox's Boos
bf Martyes, crammed full of pictures splen
did book for a present."
"La sakes, du tell" exclamedhe custom
er, examining the book, "whyber's a picture
of a cbap drinkin' pizen. and her's a lot of
"men'sawin a poor feller's head off!"
"That gentleman there ma'am," explained
the salesman, elucidating th picture, "is
taking a melted lead sangaree. and the ether
individual is about to be perforated in tbe
Intestines with a patent manure fork. I guess
you'd like it better than a work on angels "
"Well cow that ere is a better book, I
guess, than anythingelse. What mought
the price be?'
"Twenty shillings, ma'am, very cheap
book, that."
"Well, dew it Tin. Mv darter's i us t cot
married, and I caikeflfite'to make her pres
ent. She wanted sunthin' about angels, but
never was no great hand for angels, no how.'
The Lady handed out four parcels, each
containing fifty coppers, and completed the
amotfnt by adding three battered shillings
and a dubious looking sixpence, the wiiole
savoring powerfully of macaboy snuff.
The jfa!e'coinpleted, ana the customer gone
the principel called up the boy
Tbe Deaf Court Crier
iu the most beautiful town in North Caro
lina, where have been born and bloomed her
fairest daughters, and 'where for a number of
years shoue iu undimmed'radiencs tha bright
est intellects whlchjhave ever ornamented
and blessod her in 'the court house which
has been so often greeted "witU the elegant
oratory 'of a Gaston, or star tied withlhe.
flashing 'wit or bitter 'irony of a Stanley, the
'following very amu.nng incident Cccurrcd: -
An old court : ci ier, who fea'd grown' gray
in the cause and as deaf :as " 'a beetle, was in
the habit of oiling tbe . name of witnesses
( which he generally' managed1 to -gfr wrong )
from tho secoud story iri'edow' of the court
house, in such a 'stentorian voice as to be
heard with distinctness for a 6quaie or' more.
On one occasion, in the course "of a very
serious and' somewhat important suit, the
presence of a witness, named Arabella Hanks
was . needed, ine crier, lite a parrot sat
nodding 6a hi perch, when he was aroused
from his slumber by "an order from the Court
to call the witness. 'Looking anxiously at
the Judge, with his hand at his ear, iu order
to catch tbe souud cOrrectly, he said.
'W'hat.'yuur Honor?'
- 'Call Arabella Hanks,' sail the good
J udge.
Still in doubt the-poor crier 'arose "fro m his
seat and 6aid again with a nrccb puzzeled
look. j
What, yor Honor?'
Call Arabella Hank?, crier, and delay the
court no longer !' said the Judge much provoked.
The old crier, tl-tretrron, with a counte-
nansticdicating both doubt and desperation,
proceeded to tha wi'u'ucw. and in the loudest
voice called out.
' Ydlkr Belly Stauksl Yalier Belly Shanks
laller Belly Sbanki-! come into court;
'It-is heedless to say that the seriousness of
the court room was convulsively dispelled;
and quiet was restored only to be again dis
turbed by the laughter caused by the crier,
"who, in answer to the court, as to wheiharor
not tne witness answered, said ViNo your
Honor; I don't believe there is such a person
in tb couutry, for 1 ve lived hero roity years.
and never lutered of him before;.,
Brains. An American Bloop-of-war bad
put into an English port, aed the first lieu
tenant went ashore to recontoiter. In tbe
course of his" travel, be entered a tavern
where a number of British offieers were ca
rousing. They at once recognized the lieu
tenant's nationality by his dreaa, and'ra
eolved to amuse themselves by "bullylcg
hiin. -
?Weil, comrade," 6ayi oc, "you Leioaj
to the United States, I see?"
'Right,' was the answer.
'Now, what would ycu do to a man wh
should say that your navy did not contain
an officer fit for - burcboat." continued th
Englishman.,
'I would blow out Lia brains!' raiuxued
cFIieuiettta'ctwita great eoolnesa'-" v r
There ,wa3 silence . among ber majesty's
servants for a roomen4; but finally one or
them, more muddled than tho rest, managed
to stammer out.
"W well. Yank I say it "
The American walked to hla aide,' and re
plied calmly,
"It is lucky loryoa. Fbipxnat, that 70s
have no hrains to bfom out.
Struck by Vta dieidty of the answer, tha
offender at once apologized, ' aad otr bera Iu
vitcd to join the mesV
said he, sec
lare:
thing
the.
which
nearest
you
whe'n yOu're
bavu't got,
article Sjou have
"Sonny,"
ssVc'd 'for a
alitdtys show
lt?i it.
The urchin looked reflective, aad was
about to ask tbe resemblance between 'Lives
of the Angels" and Fox's Book of Martyrs,"
but he didn't.
A country editor, speaking of a them
ber of the Assembly, says 'The first year
be went to Albany he wis 60 "conscientious as
to utterly refuse to receive his allotment of
stealings, "iu the shape of bboVs and etationa-
fitftllv' came home unable to-
under the most favorable circumstance,'
,4 Cute Yankee. Early one morning, the
scholars of one of our district schools were
agreeably surprised to find upon the outside
door, "No Schulc," and most of them made
preparations to enjoy the h&Kday, fcot dreem-
mg but that it was a genuine order.
It appeared, no wcver, that a roguish youth
a lover of Thischief more than his books, bad
written, tu large letters the joyful news. "No
Schule" wSs the no't:ce posted up the idea
we Understood, bat the spelling was bad.
The aftu6on brought all together, ana in
the "stern visage of the " master enough was
seen to convince us that all was not right
he had been outwitted, and now came the tug
of war.
He soon ordered the boys to appear before
his presence; and one by one, criticised our
spelling, "as far as word school was concerned.
They stood the test, Until the hero, with com
ic phiz., made his appear ance.who, with confi
dence, distinctly said .
The-ter took him by the collar, and
with a Joyful expression at the success of tho
ruse, laid cn the birch right freely.
NciCspaptrt' of California.- There have
been 324 newspapers aud other periodicals of
all kinds etarted at 48 different localities. Of
this number there are now existing 80, pub
lished it '44 different localities ; 19 are daily.
84 weekly, I semi-monthly,! monthly, audi
annually. Of' the dailies and weeklies, 31
are Democratic .2 Republican, snd 85 inde
pendent '6t neutral'in politics. Of the whole
number,"there are 6 religious weeklies, rep
resenting Methodist, Baptist, Congregational,
OfuTpbeilite, Catholic and Jewish churches
cat the whole number, 6 are literary publi
CaiicBS? aSd on, professional (medical.)
tjs- An Ion-keeper, observing a postilKch
?,Iaslc in a Backicnods Michigan Tavern
The Landlord sinclls Sum t thing. A short
time since a gentleman and lady were trav
eling in Michigan, and having missed the
stage, were compelled to Xnxn ft private con
veyance from the town c-f Seuderi to Tbotr.as-
towu. The lady bad with her a beautiful
little lap-dog, which: she carried on her lap
on an embroidered mat. During the liie the
husband discovered that be had no handker
chief, when the lady lent him hers, which
was fashionably icented with nrcsk. About
half way between the two towns the carriage
broke down, in the midst of a hard rain, a id
they were obliged to take refuse in the half
way house a "one horse" log tavern, con
sisting of two rooms a bar-room and lodging
room. The lady laid her lap-dn on its mat
before the ""fire, and herself and husband took
seats. In a short time tbe gentleman bad an
occasiCn to uso bis handkerchief, and took it
on, leaving it lying on his kneer wh;n he got
through with it. In a few moments the land
Idtd opened the door, put bis head in, looked
around, went out, came in, gazed at tbe dog
his nostrils all tbe while upturned in in
tense disgtist. He finally appeared satisfied,
went to the outside door, opened it, came
back with a bound, seized tte lap-dog by the
tail,-and burled hiia bowling through the
ooen door full ten rods into the forest, ike
wife fainted the husband roro to his feet,
terribly enraged, and wanted to know w. at
he did that for. 'That's my dog,', continued
he furiously. 'Don't keer a cuss whose dog
it is.' said the man grcfiiy and impetuously ;
I ain't going to have no such blasted smel
ling varmint around my tavern." The hus
band and wife evacuated the house instantly,
and proceeded on their way iu the 'rain.
JCSy 'Job Printing woll now who would
have thought it,' Mid Mrs. Partington, taking
off her spectacles, wiping them, end again
placing them in proper position. I always
thought, Job had other things to attend to be
sides printicg. If the Bible tells the tmth i;
must have bten bard work for bin to learn
the trade. Strange things, however, happen
now-a-days, but I never should h7e thought
that Job still living and priating a news
paper." Tbe old lady, who hd been looking
at the ?:gn of our .Job Office, and had spoken
rather bad, was at this rooiuciit spoken toby
Ike. After a few words with him, she moved
auietlv dway, remarinn'? IIow a ccdy can
be mistaken these days.'
Asthma Paper. Persons subject fo attacks
of tpastnodic asthma' will receive some relief
during the paroxysms by inhaling fumes giT-
en on trori burning paper prepared wittrsalt-
pctre. 1. ne paper should be loose and White,
the same as iht used Tor absorbing ink tint
and it should net contain any fibers of wool.
Four ounces of sal'petrc dissolved in t'pini
of water makes a solution of sufficient strength
frr the purpose. " The paperis soaked in' this
for a few minutes, then taken out and' tlned
thoroughly. It is'tben cut into pieces four
inches sfe, and ono or two pieces burned
whvD required. Paper prepared in this man-
manner gives out a considerable amount or
free oxyeen gas when it is burned. I his has
been 'tried by some of ocr friends with good
effect. 72Cicv.t)f.2 American.
He'll Do Col. Dumars, of the Mah&ning
(Ohio) Register, got off "the fillowiug'tt the-
lviitorial Convention at Dayton :
.a Free Press The power most dreaded
by kings and tyrants, may the formsnf tha
minions be Irtlsrsd in every land, Sad their
ii?io.i"ton'upon'maukiad get them into con
tinual sgiicdZling ; may they ever sleep on
daggers, .zed tec start of all evil omen ; may
cannon thunder teTrcr.in their 'ym)Mn-Trm,
and shooting-ttic'ks in the hands of bold faced
men wake tbem to the virtues of leaded mat
ter. And finally, may they be' chised from
the habitable globe, and the glorious period
come when ever section of God's footstool
shall be trodden alone by tithd freeuT3n,
The Lawrence' correspondents of ths
Iieavensrorth Times tells a good one of Gov.
Mcdary, who went into a barber shop at Ls
compton to get shaved. The Governor 'pro-
posed to shave by the month. "Don't know
about d at massa," said tbe barber. Why
not, Tom?" asked gov. M. "Ctx, mass a
you Gubsers ttay'inigVy short "'tlaia in Kan
sas; can't trust you to four weeks; 'too long
a time for pqgple eb "your color." The dar
key had the argument with iric:, aud so ths
Governor bad to pay up.
The following advertisement appears
in the New York Herald 'Board and Repose
Wanted in some sensible family, uninfested
with cats, pri-!ie a. gs, canary birds, i uremia
ewsharps, mimicking old maids, scheming
widows, feminine 'hopefuls,' with mateh-ma-kiiig
mammas, cr other nuisances. Hot din
ner-required on Sunday. Terms not to exceed
$50 per month. Address Comfort Seeker,
Bentley s Dispatch, Madison Squara.
Use of Kno'clcdie. Some n?en think that
tho gratification cf curiosity is the end of
kaowldge ; sor&e the love of fame ; some the
pleasure of dispute ; some the necessity of
supporting themselves by their knowledge ;
but the real use of all knowledge is this, that
we 'fcbcall dedicate that reason which was
given us by God, to the ES3 and advantage
of man.
vrithoply one "spur, encired tboVeasdn.
Tie'sItaTe, "and I vWhy, what would be the use of another'
tell the trutu j said ilie postillion: ' if one side 'of tho " hor
nstanee,' ' 1 goes, the other can't la$ behind.
?"
hors
3?'Youijg man, one of tne first things
vou sho'.i'd consider is to build up a rihira
tcr. Allow us to tell you one thin." about-it.
which wo have learned from obs:rvatbn. It
must be built like a pyramid to be firm and
lasting troad at the base. Then the foun
dation must be good, or cvefi a pyramid
would crack and fall to pieces. Get a rtputa-
t3on from early boyhood, for truth, honesty.
and industry, obcdiecce to parentBn.i teach
ers, and abore all, psety. JJy e.3d by your
character will bo as firm as a pyramid; a
host of calumontjrs couM not overthrow it,
But if youth and early lifj i bad, to build
a character on such a Veginning wciildbe
almost as diSicfilti.8 to build aud peise a p ra
"mid oh its' apex
The following toast was given at the
late anniversary of ine New England society,
at 'MictesfiliS, Minesota. ' The Live Yan-
A Gatljirt Act. Recently at lonlivedio.
whilst a French frigate was i-eturning an A
mericio salute, ono of the gunners had his
arm blown off. As ston as the farct wa
known in the American sqcidron a subrip
tion for him W3S starred, which prodneed
aniotig ten 6hrps, tho haudsome sum of 14,-
UO. -
T An exchange edited we presume,
by some musty lusty, rtsty, crusty old
bachelor," says "love is a volcano, the cra
ter of whioh no wise man will spprctch 15a
near '' You're -'off your eggs," old Cdvey.
Love is a Paradise hre below; tbe celestial
sunshine and ambrosial fruits of which d6"3"s
butSESsririK reople ar peririttcd to enjoy. .
Acic Vor'i Shirts. A New York 'editor
thinks, fro;u the manner fh'irts are 'made ia
that city, there oi'eht to be an "inspector of
seicers " The editor went to tbe expense of
a new shirt the other 5a"y. and found himself,
when hp awole In 'fh'3 morning crawling out
between two of the shortest stiches.
r A New York gentleman went the
other day to St. Louis,' and wishing to be es
pecially f.ndearing. sent a dispatoh o his wifd
asking, 'What hava ycii far breakfasi, aud
how is tbebby?. She telegraphed back,
'Buckwheat caks apd the measlc '
keb lie's a driven' bls .keows to'pastur' all
over tbe continent; kf epin' $cliool 'in Anstra.
Via; 'pedliChirr.'Ti'io.'lnhli; '-davin'
"" a ankep DoOvTlo' in Japan; openin a land rf
fice in Arrizon.?; iissin' queens everywhere;
and makin' himself to hum eecerally,. wkh-
i out invitation.'
1 .
T K voting lawydr of Philadelphia,
wro'to 'to' an f id limb near Chicago,"Is tbera
an opening in your part of tho count: y that
I can get. into?-' Answer There isi an
opening in my back yard,.-aboU thirty feet
deep, ca n-V 'srounl "h." If it Will 'suit;
mrn cn. "'
0