til ,rfY& Ml il n II III y ill 111 III III 4 ;V THE BLESSINGS OF GOVERNMENT, LIKE THE DEWS OF HEAVEN, SHOULD BE DISTRIBUTED ALIKE UPON THE HIGH AND THE LOW, THE RICH AND THE POOR. " yfiW SERIES. E BENS BURG, AUGUST 11,1858. VOL. 5. NO 39. J TERMS: ...iTt t. SPVTTVFr" IS PTTR Hr-hed every Wednesday Morning at Dollar ana J Pr On 1 "... nvnlilo In Advance. nnnui" i- ,E DOLLAR A XI) SEVEXTY-FIVE CTS. " : .4 ..-fVitrt civ n- 1 1 Jt or.l TWO DOLLARS t rai-l iMitil the termination of the year. V.iiils ril'lion will be taken for a shorter 1 thin sis months, and no subscriber will be 'r,'( tv't,, ,i;scontinue his paper until all ar 1")Cr , ,; ! evrenfc at the ontion of the r,.ir a:u 1" ' r 4 - lii'-i- , n.r r :.. ,4.i... :n v J i at t i p iinli4 th mnnpv i tinul i,V 0t ' "' . tdvertislngr Rates. One inscrt'n. Two do. Three do 12 lines J '2i lines 36 lines 1 s,ti.ir 3 jqu.ires, $ 50 $ 75 $1 00 1 00 1 00 2 00 1 50 2 00 3 00 mouths. G do. 12 do $1 50 $3 00 $5 00 2 50 4 50 9 00 4 00 7 00 12 00 6 00 0 00 14 00 10 00 12 00 20 00 15 00 22 00 35 00 t . or ies. 12 lines I ires, i- uui r.res. oj lines !:;i.f a column, ...cihimn. iij- AH a lv,rtisements must be marked with J mimler i'f insertions desired, or they will be ctlaned until forbid, and charged accordingly. CR S O N G E E K OF THE A M A Z O N. HT W C. BRTAXT. I burkle to my slender side The pistol and the scimotar. And in my maiden flower and prido Am come to share the tasks of war: Ami yomler stands my fiery steed, That paws the ground and neighs to go, My charger of the Arab breed, I t'k him from the routed foe. My mirror is the mountain spring, A. v!iich I dress my ruffled hair; Mt dimmed and dusty arms I bring, And wash away the blood-Main there. W'liy sk.ull I guard from wind anil sun This cheek, whose virgin rose is P.ed? U was tor one oh! only one I Vc vt it llooro, and he is dead! Cut tley h Jio slew him unaware (V coward murderers larking nigh Ani left Ja'ra to the fowls of air, Are yet alive and they must die! Thfj s'ew him and my virgin years Are vowed to Greece and vengeance now, And many an Othman dame, in tears Shall rue tho Grecian maiden, vow. 1 t niched the lute in better day?. I led in dance the joyous band; AW they may move to mirthful lays Whose hands can touch a lover's hand. TU march of hosts that haste to meet Seems gayer than the dance to me, The lute's sweet tones are not so sweet As the fierce shout of victory! THE MILLINER'S BILL. THE WIDOW'S BEAU. Service had commenced in the neat little sanctuary, which the inhabitants of Harlem had consecrated to the service of God. The minister had read the psalms and scripture lessons, and had repeated the first line of the opening hymn. The eyes of the pceple were fixed intently upon him, for he was not only a sound and eloquent preacher, but he was a fine looking one too, and thus enchanted not only the attention of the true, but the false worshippers. The houso was very still the clear, melancholly tones of the preacher were the only sounds that throbbed on the balmy golden air, which the midsummer's Sabbath morn had breathed into that holy place. The first syllable on tho second line was trembling on his lips, when a rustle at the door, and the entrance of two persons, a lady and a gentleman, dissolved the charm. In a moment every eye turned from the pulpit to the broad aisle, and watched with more man orumary interest tne progress oi the couple. A most searching ordeal were they subjected to, and when fairly and quietly seated in the first pew, immediately in front of the pulpit, what a nudging of elbows there was ay, and how many whispers, too. In vain the sound, the good, the eloquent, the handsome Mr. B. sought again to steal tne attention ot nis uearcrs. iney naa no eyes, no thoughts for any body else but widow 15. , and widow (J.'s young gentlemanly and dashing attendant. How she had cheated them. Hadn't she said she didn't feel as though she could ever wear anything but mourniDg ? And in spite of these protestations, hadn t she come out all at once, dressed in white, and walked into the church in broad daylight, leaning on the arm of a young gentleman. Yes, indeed she had. She would have plead guilty to all these charges, grave ones as they were, and to the last how many wit nesses had been subpecned ! She was actu ally dressed in white, with open corsage, dis playing an elaborately wrought chimtrite, drapery-sleeves trimmed with the richest Mechlin lsce, undcr-fdeeves of the same ex pensive material, with a white lace hat with oranrre buds and flowers, with kid "loves and gaiters had on -such was the description every her tongue, to repeat over as 1 ix lights illumined a Fifth Avenue hall, d tie crinolines whirled in the mazy ball, the persons of fashion wcro blithe and gay, "JiU'.ii!.' tho hriiirs of rest awav. iMbisbanJ beheld with boyish prido iWiuiful dress of his stylish bride; i.eshe, in her fine clothes, seemed to bo The queen of that splendid company. Oh, the miliuer'3 bill! "I'm weary of satin," soon she cried, "I'll have a blue velvet, more full and wide; iad none of my bonnets suit my faeo Jliail order another of sweet point lace, rith emerald flowers; and then, dear man, "Vll iet me indulge in a tarletan:" .sd old Bubbles cried, as his wife he eyed. - Irhe dearest of women is my dear bride." Oh, the milliner's bill! Ftch cambric that morning, gTecn silk the next day, AuJ white moire antique ere the week passed away, TL richest and newest of tufl"s to be got Tie lunkhead's wife- bought, and ha grudged them not. o rears flew, and tho bills at last hi arrived at a figure extremely vast. 1 wheu Bubbles beheld the sum, he criec?, "ian old fool, done by a spendthrift Krido." Ob, tho milliner's bill! i;tagth broke a bank, that had long kept hid t'-- dodges by which it the public did; aa' a document long was discovered there 4 milliner's bill of that lady fair. very much cash, it was confessed, J 1 oidhwn irt to jier iorcj from (i,e banking chest, ud when the crash came, vain humbug's doom, ia hmVa display proved his fortune's tomb. Oh, the miliiner's bill! f A Monument is to be erected to the Tl-i gntn Fathers at Plymouth ; to cost from J-J0.000 to $100,000. It will be built of parte, 153 feet high, 80 feet at the base, ''w Bitting figures from 38 to 70 feet high. . 18 to be completed in twelve years from Thirty-six thousand dollars pn ot.V..Mk!l 1 r 1 1 if tbn "nuswiucu, piincipaiiy in luassa- menfi!3" TIie Bociety 'or building the nionu have purchased all tho estates lmmedi I'tef r0UUl tue veritable rock, and also a 5i ftho monument, embracing ten acres W j c,0mniaDding a fine view of the har ''r W the locality of tho rock. light lady soon as the service was ended. And the gentleman he was dressed in style, didn't ho wear white pants of the 1a tefct pattern, and a white vest, and a coat cf " satin finish"' and white kids, too ; and didn't he sport a massive chain, and didn't h gaze often and lovingly ou the fair feat ures beside him 1 Ah, yes, he did so, and there was no fur ther room to doubt. Widow C. had cheated them. She had won a bcnu, laid aside her mourning, put on a bridal attire and was going to be married in church. 15ut who the beau was, and from whence he came, it was difficult to solve, Service proceeded. The choir sung and the minister prayed and preached the peo ple wondered when the ceremony would take place. But to their utter astonishment they were left to wonder. For when the benediction was pronounced, Widow O. and the strange gentleman walked with the rest of the congregation quietly out of the church. When they reached the pave ment, he oflcrcd her his arm very gracefully, and she place! her hand very confidently on tho beautiful coat 6lccve, as they passed on What a morning that was in Harlem ! hat a world oi conjectures, surmises, in quiries and doubts rolled over and over in the brains of not only gossiping ladies, but sober, matter of fact gentlemen. The like of such a thing had never occurred in the annals of tho village there was something new under the sun a lady had a beau and no body knew it. Widow C. didn't your cars burn that day ? And we wonder tucy didn t drop off; surely tuey must nave Decn crisp ana crimson The Rev. Mr. 11. preached to a crowded house that afternoon; no compliment to him, though. Every one was sure the wedding would take place then, but every body was sadly disappointed; and it tODgues had run at railroad speed before, they traveled then on electric wires. The minister might have preached in Greek that day, and the sermon would have been quite as edifying. But one subject occupied the villago mind the wid ow's beau. It actually seemed, too, as though the lady tried to make all the talk she could. After tea, arm in arm with the strange gentleman she walked the whole length of the village, and away out into the country, and never re turned until the moon was high. "A nice looking dress I guess she had," drawled out grandma W., as she listened to the story of the handsome widow's wander ings. I'm glad I hain't got to wash it, all drabbled up with dew, as it must have been; but I don't 'spose she thought or cared a word about it, she's so carried away with him. But I'll give her a piece of my mind the first time I have a chance ; seo if I don't. But the good old dame began to fear she would never have the desired chance. She hurried through her washing on Monday, and hobbled over to the widow's as soon as possible, but the door was locked, and one of the neighbors said Mrs. C. and the gentle man went off in a carriage, nobody knew" where very early in the morning. ' Yes, and never got home until nine o'clock in the evening.' Look out widow your character is on the carpet. If she knew it, apparently she didn't care, for tho next day she went sailing with her beaUj and the next day rambled with him off to the woodlawn, and the next forenoon went with him in a carriage to the railroad statiou and there not only wept as she parted from him, but actually embraced and kissed him ! U hat ! in broad day liht 1 exclaimed grandma W. ' Well, if I over heard or seen the like on't.' Little Nell, the old lady's youngest grand child, wondered to herself if it was any worse 1 .1 11.1 . m in rjroaa aay ngni man at oincr times, l er haps you will wonder, too "We did at least. lherc was a large attendance that after noon at the weekly meeting of the village sewing society. Every body went that pos sibly could leave home. And what a chatter ing there wa3 when the bustling of assem bling was over, lherc was but one tonic. but that was all-engrossing the widow's beau for the 2etlemaa .2M,-ibe-lierbcaur or at least ought to be. Every body had something to tell, some thing to wonder at. But suddenly every magic tongue was hushed ; an universal stroke of palsy seemed to have fallen on the group as, looking up, they perceived the very lady about whom they were conversing so eagerly, standing in the doorway. ' Good afternoon, ladies,' said she in her usual quiet way ; ' I am glad to sec so large and happy a gathoring. It is a beautiful day for our meeting. And then she proceeded to the table and helped herself to a block cf patch-work, in quiring for the sewing silk, which having re ceived, she sat down in the enly vacant chair, and commenced Leruruirjfr a red bird with a yellow wing on a very green twig which lat ter had already been hemru'd on to a square piece of white cloth, aud the whole when completed was designed to form th twentieth part of a bed-spreal. She seemed all en grossed with the bird's bill and spoke to no one. Every body wondered if she had heard . V wuat tney were saying wnen sue came m ; but her placid countenance soon reasured the most fearful, and every one longed to com mence a personal attack. Old grandmother W. was tho firsl to ven ture. She meant to do up the matter very delicately, and in so roundabout a way that the lady would not suspect her of curiosity. So she began by praising Mrs C.'s dress. ' Why, it's really a beauty. Where did you get it V I bought it. 'Here?' inquired the old lady. No.' Where then ?' In the city, last spring.' Oh. you did, did you?' But I thought you was never going to dress in any tnmg but black again I All scrutemzed the lady s face in search oi 111... . 1 1 ! 1 a liun, but it continued as usual wniie sue answered I did think and say so once, but I have finally altered my mind.' 'lou have, eh! VY hat made your Oh, I had good reasons.' Here the hearers and lookers-OTi winked and looked very expressive at each other But did you not spoil your beautiful white dreFS the other night, wearing it away up to ; burying ground Y 'I did not wear it.' Here was a damper for the old lady. She had such a lone lecture to read on extrava gance, end she determined to do i.t, too, when, unfortunately for her eloquent strain, Mrs C.'s dress hung up in her wardrobe all the time, and she had worn an old black silk. After a while the old lady took a fresh start. She wouik not be balked again. She would find out all about that beau before she went j home, 'that she would.' She began by say ing 'Your company went away this morning, didn't he?' He did.' He did not stay very long, did he?' 'Not so long as I wished him to stay,' was the raply. And how the ladies did look at each other. It was as good as confessing. When did he come?' Saturday evening.' Were you looking for him?' 'I had been expecting him for a fortnight or more.' Why, do tell if you had then, and you uever told on't either. Had he any business in the place?' 'lie had,' replied the widow. What was it?' This was rather more di rect and blunt than the old lady had meant to rut, aod she forthwith apologised. But the widow interrupted her saying 'O, I d as lict you u Know as not; ne came to sec mo.' O, widow C , your good name did go down then. Be careful what you say next, or you'll have only a remnant of character left to go home with, and remnants go very cheap. He did, did he? and he didn't come for nothing else, then. But was you glad to sec him?' queried the old lady. 'Indeed I was. It was one of tho happiest moments of my existence. Well, well,' said the old lady, hardly know ing how to frame the next question; 'well, well he is a very good looking man any way.' I think so, too, and he's not only good looking, but he's Stood hearted one of the best men I ever knew,' observed the widow. You don't say so ! But he is rich!' Worth a hundred thousand or so,' said the lady earnrstly. Why, du tell if he is Why, you will live like a lady, won't you? But what is his name?' inquired tho old ldy, whose curiosity was uow raised to a high pitch. Henry Macon.' Macon! Macon! was, wasn't that that your name before you was married ( It was.' Then he's a connexion, is he?' Ueis.' Iu tell who he is then. Not a cousin hone. I never did think much of a marriage between cousins.' He is not my cousin.' 'He isn't? Not your cousin? connexion is he? ' l)o tell now?' He is mu youngest brother V If ever there waa a rapid progress mado in sewing and knitting by any circle of ladies, it ' was by those composing this society, for the next fifteen minutes. Not a word was uttered, nor an eye raised. Had the latter been done, and the rosruish and expressive dances seen which passed between Mrs. 0. and the minis ter, who, unobserved, had stood on the thresh old as a silent spectator and a curious hearer, perhaps mind you, we only sav ptrJtaps they might have guessed more correctly the namo, character, stauuiug and profession of the widow a beau. J Discovery of Illinois. In 1G73, Jaui?3 Marquette, with five Frenchmen as companions, and two Indiana forguidi.set out from Canada; and after a Tedious journey, reached the gieat "Father of Waters," ou which they embarked ''with, a joy that could not be expressed," aud hoist ing the sails of their bark canoes floated down the majestic river, "over broad, clear sand bars," and glided past inlets swelling from its bosom with tufts of massive thickness, be tween the broad plains of Illinois and Iowa, all gurlanded with majestic forestraud check ered groves. After desceiting the Missis sippi for about sixty leagues, they discovered an Indian trail, and unhesitatingly left their canoes to follow it. After walking some sis mues. tuey came to an Indian village, whence four men advanced to meet them, offering the pipe of peace, their calumets -"brilliant with many colored plumes," aud spcakiug to them in language which- Marquetto understood: "We are in Illinois;" that is "we are mca." How beautiful is tho sun, Oh Frenchmen, when thou co-.nest to us! our village awaits thee: thou shalt enter in peace all dwellings. After staying with that hospitable people for a while James Marquette and his companions further descended the Mississippi river, until they were satisfied of its flowing into the Gulf of Mexico, when they returned, and reaching the 35th degree of north 1-tituge. entered the Illinois river and followed it to iis source. The tribe of Illinois Indians, which occupied its banks, invited Marquette to remain and re side among them. But expressing a desire to continue his travels, he was conducted by one of the chiefs and several warriors to Chi cago, in the vicinity of which place ha re mained to preach the gospel to the Miamis, whilst hie-companions returned to Quebec to announce the discoveries. Two years after wards, he entered the river in the State of Michigan, called by his name, and erected on its banks a rude altar, said mass after the rites of the Catholic church; and being left alone at his own request, he knelt down by its side, and offering to tho Mightiest, solemn thanks and supplications, fell asleep to wake no more. The light breeze from the lako bigued his re quiem, ond the Algonquin nution became his mourners. How to Write Well. It is an important question for our young writers to write well, and a late reviewer gives us a bit of wisdoai on that- subject : "Speed m composition is a questionable advantage. Poetic history records two names which may represent the rapid and the thoughtful pen Lopez do Vega and Milton. We seo one pouring out verses more rapidly than a secretary could write them ; the other buildugup, iu the watches of the dark, a few majestic lines. On leaving his treasures to be easily compressed into a single volume the other to be spread abundantly over torty six quartos. One gaining fifteen pounds tha other a hundred thousand ducats. One sitting at the door cf his house, when the sua thone, in a eoarse coat of gray cloth, and visited ouly by a few learned men .from foreign countries the other followed by crowds wherever he appeared, while even the children shouted after him with delight. It is oaly sirce the earth has fallen ou both that the fame aai houor of the Spaniard and the Eo?!iihmaa hav3 btca changed. He who nearly finished a comedy before brekfist, now lies motionless ii Lis small niche cf monumental biography ; and hs who, long choosing, began late, is walking up and down in his singing robes, tnJ with Liarcl rcand bis head, ia tha citica cf many lasds iaviag bis home and Lis welcome iu cvry devout heart, and utcn every learned toaguc cf the Christir.u world." But seo ?!-at another Ligh authority says of Ehaksjcire'a psa and Hiltoa: " Miltoa dcsei ix (tons of natural cljccti aro rich, elbra!e, aud S:.i-hei Shats- ncare'a are nt-cataceous. WitLcat losia-r iicrht of thj moiniu" freshness ni exquisitj beau tv of Lis uviaor poem, be L jurf assei even ia hi respect by Shakspcarc; but so aro all other uniusi ircd Trriters Miitoa leavei his own Lirdi impress on overytLing La touchea Shckspeare that cf universal hu-jianitj. Milton is tho Sabbath only SLr.kspe&re all the days of the week. Shakspearc w the fall and niany-voif-ed orchestra Milton ozdy cue instrument ; but it is the orgn the most perfect, tho jrrr.ndcil, the loftiest of all in strument. The one is the ccb!;-it of rivers tho other the all SEci.d'it.-j and limiiless ocean. In SLaksre'iva there ts tuo infinitude of Nature heTsalf Miltoa u Holy Land. SLaksreare's universal geuim ii alone In the world ; po is the sustxiued gr&iKievr of Mil ton's lofty liight the high aira, preparation, and learnmg the originality, otatcly dignity and power of bis mighty muse theso being all concentrate 1 and eT.eri.ed in ore given di rection. Tuo one, taking subject and treat Authors turn Themselves . Inside out. "Sir Edward Bulwcr Lytton says in one of his recent novels, that 'authors are the only people with whom the public are ac quainted,' or words to that effect. Certaiuly it is not any easy thing for one who writes much, provided writings are widely read, to conceal himself from public knowledge. Dis guise himself as he may, every book he pub lishes is in some degree an autobiography. Nay, his very efforts at concealment, reveal traits of character which frankness itself would not have disclosed. His intellectual warts are manifest by tho very nature of his . ... - . - .. vocation, and his moral status, wnatcver lie may think to the contrary, cannot well be hid, even if he endeavor to hiue it, whicu few authors take the pains to do throughout their entire writings. Not less than other men, authors may be known by their 'works.' Whoever talks largely, whether in print or verbal speech, talks himself out at last, and the world sees him as ho is Undoubtedly a clever writer may now and then, if he will, contradict his own taste, habits, or even prin ciples. Charles Sprague, who praised the 'fepanish weed so prettily (in his poem of 'Curiosity, ) is innocent ot its use, and was merely exercising his imagination, as poets have done before. There have been drink ing songs by bards bibulous only of Souch ong or Hyson ; love songs by poets who were never in love; sea songs by land-lubbers who get their inspiration from braudy, and found their subject in a horse-pond ; hunting songs by men who never saw .a fox outside of a menagerie ; war-songs by sentimental young ladies who faint at the sight of blood, and cannot bear a gun ;' sacred songs by pro fane scamps, who neither sing nor say the church service ; mad songs by the most se rene of quictists ; work songs by lazy fellows who are as innocent of labor as a fine lady ; baby tongs by old maids and barren wives ; home songs by old bachelors whose homes are in the cock-loft of the tavern ; and songs of the country by Cockneys who don't know clover from dandelions Such things may be dono for once, but rarely well, and never with that fine fidelity to nature which gives per manent life to a work of art, whether in paint ing or poetry. It still comes to pass in the But 'what meat into account, is tha greatest dramatic poet, ane the ether the greatest epic poet, the world has ever produced." Irish Psasaixtry. A gentleman who hzs traveled much in Ireland, sajs tho ca'irs ti; sanity of the Irish peasants to each ether :a very pleasing. I have frequently seen themtaks o.T their hats, and salute each other with great civility. Tho cxpres&ious cf these poor fellows, upen meeting one another, is full of cordiality. One of them, ia Dublin, csct a boy after his own heart, who, ia the sincerity of his zeal, exclaimed : Fa trick ! mjself's gladtosee you, for in troth I wish you well." By my soul, I know it," said the other. bat you have but the half of it" that is the pleasure of meeting was divided. If yen ask a common fellow in the streets of Dublin, which is the way to such a place, he will take off Lis bat. and, if ho does not know it, he will take care not to tell you so ; (for nothing is more pain ful than to bo thought iznoraut.") he will cither direct you by an appeal to his imagina tion, which is ever ready, or he will say, " I rLr,11 .wl SMit V.-.HF I) -Vl. 1 I 1 Y fwl t ft t 1 TT J HUll UUU lli UUb IVI JlSUl 1VSJVS4 1U1IULU1MVVIJ y and away he flies into somo shop far informa tion. which he is harry to be the bearer of without any hope of reward Among the mortuary peculiarities of tho Irish, their love lor posthumous honors is worthy of remark. An elderly man, whom a much esteemed clergyman attended in tho last staire of exictcncc. met Lis death with fortitude, but expresses his grief that his dis solution should take place at a timo when tho employments of spring would prevent bis fu neral from being numerously attended. This is a ecncral national trait ; and a grievous imprecation, ia the Irish language is, "May your burial be forsaken !" They have another very figurative malediction May tho grass grow green before your door !" g?At a convention of the clergymen, not long since, it was proposed by one of the members, after they had dined, that each should entertain the company with some re marks. Among the rest, ono drew upon his fancy, and related a dream. In his dream he went to heaven, and he described the golden streets, the river of life, etc. As he concluded, one of the divines, who was some what noted for his pcnuriousce?s and money From the Boston Journal, January 23. Anecdote of Rufus Choate A curious mischance happened to Mr. Choate on Wednesday, in the trial.of his In surance cause, with Geo. S. Hilliard on tho other side. Ho had been arguing with unu sual vehemence and labor that the other side dilu't dare ask their wituescs about tb stowing and arrangement of vessels loaded with grain, as respects seaworthiness al though they made a great show of asking them about vessels generally. "Name one witness," he thundered out over the head of Mr. Hilliard, the opposite counsel, "name" one, 1 should Jite to near oi one to wnom they ask tho question as to grain laden ves sels." Mr Hilliard quietly said, "Captain testified iu answer to inquiry upon that very point. "Impossible, said Mr. Choate, I carefully collated my notes oi eviaenco ast niht. and I know there isn't one." After this brief but emphatic denial, Le was rush- dp on in the nery tiue oi nis usual lignt . ... . , "V i l i. ning-UKc stylo or auvocacy, wucu ue niu stopped by Mr. Hilliard's quietly appealing to the court, as to the truth, oi ms Having named one witness who swore directly in the eeth of rvhat Mr. Choate was saying. J he advocate alopped in mid-career, evidently im- patient aa a racer curbed, to near tne Juage, who, turning to ii? minutes, read in plain arcuage the statement of the witness, as ex pressing the closest and most deliberate opin ion, expressly with regard to grain vessels. A general titter began to prevail, and what tl:3 sneaker could say bow," was the univer- I feti-ng ; pausing a laomcnt, ana giving l-at peculiarly solemn expression of face wtica thoso isho aro familiar witn nun so well rccogaise, the great advocate broke tho sile'jce Ly the siuiple question, twice repeat ed, as if tbs Judge, but really to the jury. does thn.t TTitness say oio many grain ves sels his experience embraces how many, is tho important point. 1 am arguing tnat ine experience ot persona cxpenenceu cmejiy i grain vessels is cot and dare not be asked by the ether Mde." And siying tim witn great soberness aud without a iuuclc of his rigid features chaagicsr, ha turned the attention of the jury aad rapidly rushing into another part of argument, it was found that he had led tbcra and the minds of the auditors off from the desperately bad break in the link of Lis argument, before they had time to decide whether it really was true that Mr. Choato had fallen iat a blunder not more over whelming thta it was laughable. Any body else after such a proceeding and flourish of trumpets, to have been so floored, would havo been utterly extinguished by the unanimous mirtb of Bench and Bar. It is due, Lowe- ver, o 3ir. v-noate to Eay, iuai ue ery rarely makes a trip or i3 so put to Lis trumps to recover himself. Where tne Plaster was. A certain doctor (ratLer a modest young man by the way was recently called in to see a lady who had been taken suddenly ill. i h found the application of a mustard plaster ne . ... . . , cessary. and accordingly went to wont ana made one, and laid it carefully by to prepare the lady for its application. Everything was ready and tho doctor sought the plaster; but, strange to say, it had disappeared. The doc tor and the negro nurse' searched high and low, in every jrobable place for the missing plaster but in vain; it was gone, no one could tell where. The nurse had not seen it sinca tho doctor laid it on tho chair. There was no other alternative but to go to work and mako another, which was accordingly done. But still the question would present itself to all what had become of that plaster? The cir cumstances of its having been spirited away began to tell unfavorably upon the sick lady's nervous sensibility; but the doctor could not help it; ho could" not explain the mystery. The doctor in a deep brown study prepared to leave, and stood up before the fire to warm himself before encountering the cold without. Through the force of vulgar habits, hepaited his coat tails behind, when the nurse, display--ing about four iniL;s of ivory, said: "I fjun do plaster, massa doctor." "Where?" eagerly asked the doctor, " whera is it?" "You got it ahind," said the DUrso grin ning. The doctor clapped his hand3 behind, and there it was sticking fast to the seat of his breeches, where he sat down on it when it wis laying on tho chair. This was too much for the modest doctor. Ho seized his hat and bolted; nor could he be prevailed on to visit the lady during her sickness. i j i . i . .... . - i ., . . -1 Ion" run, that the author appears as he is saving habits, stepped up to ine narrator ana truthful or mendacious, a lover or a hater of inquired jocosely: men; a respecter or a contemner of women ; "Well, did you ecc anything of tne in a man of chaste or of unchaste imagination; I your dream? "over W met Fat Herwius r "savs I how As I was going," said an Irishman, est minster bridpe the other dry, I nerwins. arc you: " Fretty well I thank you, Doneloy," fiys he.: Says I, "That's not my name." "Faith, no more is my name Ilerwins," says ho. "So we looked at each other, and faith it turned out to be neither of us," -.', T JM L 1-3, X U1U. "Indeed! what wa3 I doing?" "You was on your knees." "Fraying, was I?" "No scraping up the gold!" sincere or affected ; honest or unscrupulous ; tender-hearted or cruel ; amiable or churlish ; high-minded or pusillanimous. Nor can the nature of his theme prevent this self-revelation. A religious polemic may show all the passions of the cock-pit ; a philosopher may rrn3A trliAf tkon tlirwsA r!iisTi Tl A T" prebends; a philanthropist may disclose the fd a lazy son what made him he in bed s L;i:L: ' r A. .ml a B.,.MSk. if. long? " I am busied," said be, " in heai IHUUqUIIJ V iu ' , , almost always happens, may reveal a nature at once gentle, loving, compassionate and Hearing on Both Sides. maznamnious. 5TThe gallant localizer of the Troy Tiniss describes blasted hopes" to be MarryiSg a woman with the expectation of getting $30,000, and when the union is consummated to bo presented with a bill for her last year's board." A. father ask- so ar- ing counsel every morning. Industry ad vises me to get upj Sloth, to lie still; and so they give twenty reasons for and against. It ia my part to hear what is said on both sides ; and by the time the case is over, din ner is ready " STW'hy is the map of Alabama like the barrel of soldiers musket? Becauso cno end ha3 a 1'ijf on it (bayonet ) Dtinq Consolation. I shall be happy," said an expiring husband to his wife, who was weeping most dutifully by the bedside, if you will only promiso not to marry that object of unceasing jealousy, your cousin Charles." " Make yourself quite easy, love," said the expectant widow, " I am engaged to Lis brotber." Spinsters. In former tiroes, it wa3 a maxim that a young woman should not get married until she bad spun herself a set of body and table linen. From this custom, all unmarried women were termed spinsters au appellation they still retain in England in all deeds and legal proceedings. 8,"Boy, whero docs this road go to?" I doau't think it goes anywhere. sees urn hero everv morning.'' I a!wa- -A