p. - BLESSINGS OF GOVERNMENT, LIKE THE DEWS OF HEAVEN, SHOULD BE DISTRIBUTED ALIKE UPON THE HIGH AND THE LOW, THE BICH AND THE POOK. THE 111 Wll II! II IM In IN In II 1 h u JC M ;pw SERIES. . Tlin DEMOCRAT & SENTINEL, is publish ed every Wednesday morning, in Ebensburg, Cambria Co., Fa;, at $1 60 per annum, if pa ii l!f dvace. if not $2 will be charged. , A.DVEUTISEXENTS will be conspicuously in- gerted at the following rates, viz : j 1 square 3 insertions, Every subsequent insertion, 1 iqnaro 3 months, 1 " 6 - " .1 year, col'a 1 year, it $1 00 25 S 00 1 CO 12 00 SO. 00 15 00 Od Jlwii?-Cil flOTwelve lines constitute a square. Jin tlic owrt ol" Common Picas Cambria County. or Edirard Burk Win. H. Hamilton ad ministrator f Wm No. 23 Deo. Term 1S5S 2nd al. Scire Facias. Barnctt, dee'd. J Cambria County as. The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, . To tiiaSheriif cf Cambria county, . GREETING: Wiuukas, Edward Burk, .heretofore in our County Court of Common Fleas of the County of Cambria, to wit : on the 2d of January, Anno Domino, one thousand eight hundred and forty nine, before the honorable the Judges then con stituting the same Court at Ebensburg. by the consideration of the same Gmrt. recovered against ..William 11. Hamilton, adm'r i.f William Harnett dee'd, of the said county. Yeoman, as well a cer tain debt of thirty three dollars ;in 1 sixty-eight ents. lawful money of the United States, as also ten dollars and seventy ami three-fUirth cents, like money, which to the said Edward Burk, in our same Court were adjudged fur his damages, which he sustained by the U'teni.n of that dftt, with interest on the debt from the 2d day of Jan- 'uary, one thousand eight hundred and forty-nine, whereof the said adm'r of Wui. Harnett was con- "rict, as of record and.j r ce-di:igs in our s.- id Cr.tt lieforeour Judges at J".tcnb'irg, remaining, man- lifestly appears. Nevertheless execution of the ame Judgment as yet remains to be made, as by 'the insinuation of Edward Burk wc have received ud because we arc willing thai those things which. Are right in our said Court should be done, we command you that you make known to Alex, B. Pringle, adm'r, de bonis mm of Win. Burnett, dee'd.. with notice tR'bcrt Harnett, Mrs. Sarah JR. Pringle and Alexander lb Piinlehcr husband Theodore Harnett, Mary Jane Barnett. and Harry lWir;itt children ami heir at law of William Bar nett deceased that they ln and appear before our Judgs at Ebensburg, ct our County Court of Common l'hras. thero to lie held, on the first Mon day in I)tvejnler next, to nhow if anything for 'tLomHcJrcH they know or have to eay, why the f.irwui I Edw.-mFTrtrk might "not t have execu tion of the debt and damage af-jretaid recording tt tVi form nd effect of tho paid recovery, if to him it ha'I expedient. And havo you then - 1 thero thi. writ. Witxsss, tho Honorable George Tajlor. IVsi ';nt of our an. e Court at EUipsbnrg. this thir- ttnth day of Scptemler, in the year of our Lord me thousand e:g';t hundred and liftv-six. A true copy, II. J. ROBERTS, Prot'y. Attest. JOHN ROBERTS SheriiT TUB subscriber take- pleasure in announcing to his numerous customers, hnd the public generally, that he ia now oj tuing one of the largest and most de-irabb stocks tf FALL AND WINTER GOOD. ! -ever presented to this community. L.r stock -consist chiefly of the following viz : LADIES DRESS (J GODS ! inuch as Talmas, Vi7tttcs, Shawls, Silks, Meri no, Cashmeres, Woolen l'laids. Dc Lames, De I .ges, Alapacas, Ginghams, Calico; HUNNETS Uibbons, Collars, Trimmings, GENTLEMEN'S CWriUNfi ! srich as Over Coats, Dress Cuts, l'aiit, Yeit5, Shirt, Drawers, &c. Ao a large stock of DOMESTIC GOODS! such as Brown ami IJIcached Jf.tslinx, Drills, Denims, Shirtings, Cherks, Kentucky Joins, ti'd'i tl, Cassimcref, Flannels Lindscjs, Tickivj, Blankets, -c. Also Bxts, Shoes, Hats, Caps. Trunks, Hardware, Queeusware, Glassware, Tinware, and a. large etock of cnocnrjEsr lb would solicit Farmers who are in want of GOOD CORN SIIKLLEKS & STRAW CUTTEKS to call and examine his stock ; he would wish also to inform them that he has made arrange ments to supply them with all 'kinds of FElt TIL1ZEI1S, such as Peruvian and Mexican Gu anos, &c. He invites one and all to come and examine his large and well selec'.ed Stock, before purchasing elsewhere, as he is determined to sell at smaller profits than ever bfoie known in this vicinity. The ONE TRICE SYSTEM will be continued as heretofore, so that parents may send their children to make purchases with as much -advantage as if thev went themselves. DANIEL M'LAL'GIILIX. Tunnel Hill, October 8, ISoG. IJIl'OUTAST KOTIC'E.- ALL per3ons indebted to tho estate of Milton Roberts, dee'd, for costs as l'rothonotary and Clerk of the Quarter Sessions are hereby notified to mrke payment without delay, as it will be ve ry unpleasant for me to have to resort to eompul--.jry measures ami thereby add costs, which will te imperative unless paid shortly. Howard J. Roberts, of this borough is duly au- i t horized by me to receive said fees and rece pt for the same. He viil attend for that purjx s-e, a the l'rothonotary 'soflice, in Ebensburg, at the en suiug Court in l3ecember next. JOHN WILLIAMS, Ex'r. Ebensburg, Oct. 25. 185G. -tf.. Valuable Ileal Estate FOR SALE. I will sell at private sale that large and com- ;raothou3 BRICK JJOLisA, situate on llfgli street, in the lkrough of Ebensburg, being the property occupied by Milton Roberts, dee'd., at tho time of hisdeath. Also,avaluableZ,07'77fO'A79 situate on the Clay Tike, about one half mile from said Borough, containing 2 acris enclosed and in a good state of cultivation. Eur terms apply to the subscriber residing on tho premises, or to John William.', in Eliensburg. MRS. MALVIXA ROBERTS. Sept. 17, 1856.-tf. SOWS OK TEHPUASt'E. Iit?ula1 Division, No. ft4, Sons of Tem ttjAjperance meet t their Hall every SATUR "DAY en'mg, in the upper atory of It. Davi,' buildins. . u ;; - - -j " - ' - ' - Aval of tli c Xralns at IVilniore Station. . - The Tast Eine resumed its regular trip on Monday May 19th. The following is the schedule ol the trains passing Last anu wcm, Express West, m rWk 12min. A.M. Mail " Loral Freight Mail. Train East Fast Line 8 42 " T.M. 7 P.M. 11 13 " A. M. 6 62 " P. M. B , S5 " A. M. Local Freight TLuMrn Ipavo this station Immedistclv after the departure o the trains for Ebensburg. Tll LOKQ uSHeLgd for ius come at CLOT11IAG STOKU!! Tlie largest, best, and cheapest assortment of Clh.OT2IBXG ! S, Bernei would respectfully inform the citi zens of Ebensburg and surrounding country, that he has just opened out at his uew establishment, near the Court, House, one of the largest, most va r'.ed, elegant and cheapest assortment of Clothing ever brought to this or any other place. His stock is unquestionably the richest and ra rest ever imported to the top of the Allc-ghenies. and embraces everything that can be enumerated or conceived in the Clothing line, consisting of Overcoats of all sizes and qualities from $3,00 to $20,00, Coats " " " $1,00 to $20,00. Pants " " $0,75 to $8,00. Vests " ' " $0,75 to $8.00. Also, a full assortment of silk Neckerchiefs, Scarfs, Handkerchiefs, Shirts. Undershirts, Draw ers, Socks, Comforts, Collars, Travtl'ing Bags, &c..-S.'c. It is useless to attempt to give anything likea general enumeration, as the task would be a dif ficult one. but in lieu this, the public are most cordially invited to call and examine if they whh the best of bargains. EUnsburg, July SO, lSG.-40-ly. GREAT KXCITimCST! ! !!! T plIE subtriber would respectfully inform the J. good citizens of Kbcnsburg and the adjoin ing vicinity that he has returned from Philadel phia, with the largest and most varied assort ment of GIIOCEHIES ever offered. The stock consists as follows : Groceries: Molasses. Sugars. Teas, Rice, Candles.Soaps, Fish, Salt, Bacon & Hams, Flour, Oat Meal, Corn Meal, Tobacco, Peaches, Dried Apples. Saleratus. Baking Soda, Dried Herrings, Dnrkee's Baking Powder. Sardine. Mustard, Spi ce, Holloways Worm Confection, Y?negar. Confccf Icnarles : Candie?, liaisins. Oranges, Iit'inonp, Citron, l'ru:ir.-. Sivav?, Fruits, Fig.;, Nuts of all kincia, S.Iqnoi S : Cherry Brandy, Blackberry Bran dy. Ka.l..rry Brandy, French Brandv, Port Wine. Old Rye Whiskey. , E!rlies, &.C : UnrscS weeping. Dus ting, Si-rub and White VTa.-b Brushes, Bed Cords, Twine, Corn brooms, Baskets of all kinds. Tubs and Buckets of :.ll kinds, V'nsh Boards, Putter Bowls, Xails, Lamp Globes, Curry Combs, Carj.et Hammers and Tacks, Window Glass of all kind., Arnold's Ink, Hover's Ink, Steel Fens, Station ary of all kinds. Together with a large assortment of otr.ti arti cles not enumerated, wind, will bt sola as cheap if not cheaper than auv establishment ir the cnnty. RICHARD TUDOR. ELeiuburg, July SO, 1850 40. IJEW ARRIVAL! wm! mmm mimm HART & BRO., would reixitfully inform their old customers as well as mauy new ores that they have rect i ved a large quantity of Gro ceries, which for quality and cheapness cannot be excelled by any similar establishment west of the Allegheny mountains. We are determined to sell lower than the lowest, We have also, on nana 20,000 CIGARS which we will dispose of wholesale or retail. HART & BRO. July 9, ISr.C. LIST OF LETTERS, REMAINING in the Post Office at Ebensburg Pa., September SOjtb, I85G : Mrs. Susan Miller, Dr. J. Cooper M'Kee, Teter Mahan. P. J. Little. James Kano lml Kinncf Sam I O Ilarrah, Isaac Giflbrd, Michael Glauber. Y'ia-s. f arren, .John l ish, James Doherty.John El der, Thomas J. Palmer, Jacob Ileeisseraann. Eliz abeth Stermer.Tohn Callands,John Bradly.Thom as Brown, B. Backstreshr.E. C Al'er. T. Al-; Miss i Annie E. Wilnarth, (2) Wark A. Well, Ma- j ' 'y, Garonne mem, George Sionaker, Wil liam Roes, Michael Moon Jr., M.Hare. M. Met caIfc M. C. M'CAGUE, P. M. Executor's Xoticc. TT ETTERS testamentary have been granted J-i tot he subscriber, on the estate of Milton Rob erts, dee'd, by the Register of Cambria countv. He hereby gives notice to all persons know ing themselves indebted to come forward and make payment without delay, and those having claims against the same to present them properly authenticated for settlement. JOHN WILLIAMS, Exec'r. August 21. 185G. "Tyjio Owes Cs. THE Books of tho subscriWrs have been placed in the hands of John Williams, Esq., for col lection. 1 MURRAY & ZAI1M, , MURRAY, ZAUM & Co. Ebensburg, Dec. 2G. 1855. IJATER Letter, note and foolscap geTat paper, Steel Pens, Ink. Quills. J0lsl&. envelopes, hooks, &c, at J. M'Dermit's: s UMMER Coats and Pacts, and. Silk, Lawns Gingham Handkerchiefs at - J. M'Dermita. ADIES' Elastic Belts, Black and fancy col rs 4 J. M Derritr EBENSBURG; DECEMBER; 3, 1856. They Say He is Another's Now. BYS. P. WILLIS. They Hay he is another's now, . That I no more his smiles shall ece, Oh! say not so lie would not break The solemn vow he pledged to mo. Tliey tell me like the diamond's ray,. Her love-lit eyes upon him shine Can he forget those sacred hours, " A hea every prayer he breathed wa 8 mine . They say he is another's now. Oh, no! his love is mine alone If not, my lips, speak not my tears, This breaking heart his own his own ? They tell me that be stili is gay, And that he never lisps my name Can he forget the face that smiled So dear a welcome when he came ? They say' he is another' now, "Whoso watching tones delight his oar Hath he forgot the favorite airs, ' ". I used to sing when he was near 7 They tell me he no more will come, Nor at the door his steps be lieard Can he forget our moonlit walks, The sweet embrace, the parting word ! They say he is another's now My heart is like a cherished flower. Which not till crushed around the vase, Its long iinprisflned sweets will shower. Can he forget when first it bloomed, In all love's primrose color's drest, When plucking it from where it grew, He nursed it gently in his breast ? They say he is another's now And I a poor forgotten thing; Oh, no, oh no ! he bade mc wear For his dear sake this treasured ring. They do but jest who say his lips Another's cheeks have prcss'd than mine Can he forget the garden bower, The kiss behind the trelliss'd vino ? , They say he is another's now Who, for his love, her home forgot ; That I must think of him no more It cannot be, oh ! say it aot. The heart will hoard its sacred love, As hoards the miner's hand his gold It couuts its treasures one by one. And gra-pj them ia his dying hold. They say he is another's now That vain are all the tears I shed " It may bs so can I forget That to his heart my own was wed ? Can he forget the early love, That clung to him so pure and deep The smile so gay when he was gay, Tho eye that wept when he did weep ? They say he is another's now That I shall tee him not again He cannot lave as I have loved, She cannot be what I have been. Oh, do not say that he forgets He loves me yet he loves me yet ! The vow, the smile, the ki?s, the tear Cim he forget can he forget! Somebody in my Bed. Yarn after yarn had been spun, and the hour for retiring had arrived; the landlord was dozing behind his bar, and tho spirit of conversation was beginning to flag, when the doctor whispered to me that if I would pay attention he would "top off" with a good one. "I believe, captain," said tho doctor, "I never told you about my adventure with a woman at my boarding-house, when I was at tending the lectures ! "No, let's have it," replied the individual addressed, who was a short, flabby fat man, of xbout fifty, with a highly nervous temper ament and a verv red face. " At the time I attended the lecture?, I boarded at a house in which there was no fe males but the landlady and an old colored cook" Here the doctor made a slight pause ; and the captain by way of requesting him to go on said "Well." " I often felt the want of female society to soften the severe labor of deep study, and dis pel tho ennui to which I was subject" " Well," said the captain. " But as I feared that forming an acquain tance among tho ladies might interfere with my studies, I avoided them all." "Wrell," " One evening, after listening to a long lecture on physical anatomy, and dissecting a large negro, latigued in body and mind, I went to my Jodgings." "Well," said the captain. "I went into tho hall, took a large lamp and went directly to my room, it being after one o'clock 'Well." "' I placed the light upon tho table, and commenced undressing. L had hardly got my coat off when my attention was attracted to a dress and a quantity of petticoats lying on a chair near the bed " " Well," said the captain, who began to show signs that he was deeply interested. " A pair ot beautiful small shoes and stock ings: on tho floor. Of course- I thought it strange, aud was about to retire, but then I thought it was my room, aud -I bad at -least a right to know who was in my bed." "Exactly," nodded tho captain, . well." ' So I took the light went, softly to the bed and with a trembling hand drew aside the eur: tain Heavens ! . what a tight! A young glirl I fhould say an angel of about eight een, was in there asleep" - , r - ' "Well," Baid the captain, giving his vhair a hitch. . ' As I gazed upon her, T thought that I had never witnessed anything more beautiful. From nndernoath a little night-cap, rivalling the snow in whiteness,-, fell a .stray ringlet over a neck and shoulder of alabaster" ' Yf ell, " aid the ' excited captain, giving his chair another hitch. . ' Never did I loot upon a bust moro per fectly formed.' I took hold of the coverlid and and softly pulled it down I 5 . . . A . . J ... n( Aft AmttMilATir - ' . "To her waist " ' "ITe7" said the captain, dropping the paper, and renewing tho position of .his legs. "She had on a night-dress, buttoned, up before, but softly I opened the two first buttons- " "Well '" said the captain, wrought to the highest pitch of excitement. And then, ye gods ! what a sight to gaze upon ! A Hebe pshaw ! words fail. Just then "WELL!" Paid the captaio, hitchiup; his chair right and left, and squirting his tobacco juice against the stove that it fairly fizzed again. "I thought that I was taking a mean ad vantage of her, seized ray coat and boots, and went and slept in another room !" " Jt'salie!" shouted the excited captain, jumping up aud kicking oyer his chair. " It's a lie." Western Annoyances. Judge J , who recently returned from a tour in the West, relates an anecdote illus trating the horrors to which travellers in that region are exposed. In his passage to one of the rivers, he fell in company with a talkative lady and gentleman, to whom he was relating some of his sufferings from mosquitoes. "Husband," said the lady to the gentle man owning that title, " you had better tell the gentleman about the man we met in Iowa. The hint was sufficient, and "husband" proceeded to say that, in their travels farther West, they made the acquaintance f a stal wart, rollicking, western hoosier, cnfthe genus who could "wlrp his weight in wild cats," but who j-ossepsed a fund of quiet hu mor. One one occasion they had stopped at a hotel in the interior, not of the most invi ting appearar.ee. They were shown to their rooms) the hoosier at one end, and the lady and gentleman at the other, of a long hall. . About midnight the drowsy couple were star tled by a report of firearms, proceeding from the end of the hall occupied by their travel ling companion. Doth started up in bed and began to .'pec ulate upon the probable cause of this untime ly alarm, when they heard a rushing of feet, and a confusion oFvoicc3 in the hall. On go ing to the door, the gentleman found the whole household, headed by the landlord, rushing m the direction of the report. Ilia curiosity led him to join this midnight pro cession, and he arrived with the rest, in front of the booster's door. The landlord tried the latch but found it fast, whereupon, in a loud voice, he demanded instant admission. " What do you want?", roared the voice within. " Want to come in !" replied the landlord. " Can't do it !"' was the response from with in. "It's my room, and I'm in bed ; can't come in." " Let me in !" shouted the landlord in a louder tone, at the same time shakiug the door violently, ' or I'll break the door down.' "Hold on!" rejoined the voice within; " I'll open the door." The door was soon opened, when in rushed the whole party, expecting to find tho floor covered with blood. W hatwas their surprise to.nd everything in its proper place, and the hoosier calm aud uncont;eined A revolver was lvins: carelessly upon the bed. "Who fired that pistol i acmanuea tno landlord. " I did !" was the reply " Why ?" asked tho landlord The boosier stepped to the bed, and throw ing open tho covering said : Look here ! Do you sec that ?" The attention of the" party was at onco di rected to the point indicated, and there, over the whole surface of tho sheet, bedbugs wcro scampering in every direction , like a flock of eheep frightened by a dog. The landlord was chagrined and puzzled, and looked to his lodger for an explanation. " These,'.' began the hoosier, straighteuing himself up to his full heighth, and gesticula ting with his right hand in grandiloquent style, " these arc my friends ; 1 have settled an armistice with them, and we are on friend ly terms ; but on tho window-sill there, just outside, you will find two infernal big fellers that I couldn't do anything with, and no' I just put a bullet through 'cm. But it's all right now, it's all understood between me and my friends here, and wo shall get along well enough now." It is needless to add that the landlord reti red to his own bed visibly crest fallen, while the spectators enjoyed a hearty laugh. Mas. Paktington.- " Thero he goes a gain," says Mrs. Partington in the Legisla ture, as a member stood up for the fifth time to speak on a question. " There he goes, like a soda fountain, and just as fluidly as water. Now Isaac, mind him, and see if you can't become a speaker of the House of Iteprehensibles some time. " I declare," continued she, as a new burst of eloquence Teacbed her ear, " It does seem as if the manlle-pieco' of Daniel Webster had fell on him he is so bright." Jt57A well known wit says : No Yankee is satisfied with tho truth un less you can 8atify him that he is worth eight or ten per cent.' . CALIFORNIA LOVM LETTER. A copy of a letter that was picked up in the street in Marysville, California, not long since : Mariesville july fore 1SDG. Dere Cate you know I luv you mor an any utherGirle in the World, and wat's the llc zon you allways want Me to tell you so. I no 3-ou-ar almost gittin tired of waiting for me ; I no you luv lue fit to brake your hart. I no we ort to get marrid, but how kin we if we kant so? Wat's the use of thinking bout it. I thort wen I sold mi mule that; I wud have nough to pay -the precher and by you a nice goun. But I tried mi luk at poker and got strapt the fust hitc Catc you never pla'ed poker in korse not. Wei, its a con founded mity nice game as long as you cin sit behind a smorl par ; but when you kant get a par, the pots gone; I luv you so much Cate that I allmost have a notion to sol mc 1 hors wagin aud buck a nite or 2 .it farow, butTLow kin I sa? My. whol wagin wuJent fech more an fore or 5 good stales, ile go back to the mountings and work and dig and svet and do everything I kin to git money to git mar rid. I aint any was gjlus Cate, but plcze don't hag and kiss and set on J a P s lap any mcar. rou know be aint shaks he kant drink morn 3 homes 'thout gittin tlto; I kin stand up under fiftey. You no I kin lick him 2, and have dun it and kin do it agin But I aint a bit gelus, I no I ort to marrid long ago. " leven years is rcther long tokort a gal, but ile havyou y it Catc. Good by til next we meat. Your Affeckunate Lover., D G Note a Bena, good by agin. Run that fel ler off. 2th r. S I'm not a bit gelus Cate, don't let biru cum bout the house. THE RIGHT WAY TO BEGIH". A little girl once said, "Q, mother how very hard it is to do right! I don't believe I shall ever bo able. ' "Have you really tried my dear!" "O. yes; I try every day." When, I awake, before I get up, I say to myself, "I will be good &11 the day. I will be gcntlo and kind. I will obey my parents and teachers-1 will not quarrel. I will always tell the truth. But then, mother, I don't know bow it is, I do so often forget. Then when evening comes I have to say, "there now! what is the use of trying I have been in a passion J have been disobedient and once or twice, mother you know I have said what was not!" true. The dear child seem cd very much ashamed while saying this so her mother looked kindly at her, and only said "My dear, I do not think you havo begun right " The little girl looked up wonderingly; and her parent went on: The first thing is to have a new heart: have you asked this? "No mother, I am afraid not." "Then, my child, do so at once. Good fruit. you know, can only come from a good tree. If your heart is wrong your conduct will be wrong. You cannot make it right yourself, with all your good resolutions But ask God, for Christ's sake, to help you. He will give you his Holy Spirit and you will not find it any more impossible to do the right " I am glad to say that the child took her moth er's advice That very day she asked God, car nestly, to change her heart, and help "her to do right She prayed, she watehed, she strove, hard against her sins, and was able, by God,s grace, to lead the life of a lovely young Chris tian. Woman's Latch A woman has no nat ural grace more bewitching than a sweet laugh It is like the sound of flutes on the water. It leaps from her heart in a clear, sparkling rill; and the heart that hears it feels as if bathed in the oxhilirating spring. Have you ever pursued an unseen fugitive through trees, led on by her airy laugh now here, now there, now lost, found ? We have. And we are pursuing that wandering voice to this day. Sometimes it comes to us in the midst of care or sorrow, or irksome business; and then v.e turn away and listen, and hear it ringing through the room like a silver bell, with power to scare away the ill spirits of the mind. How much we owe to that sweet laugh ! It turns the prose of our life into poetry, it flings showers of sunshine over the darksome Wood in which wc are trav elling, it touches with light even our sleep, which is no more the image of death, but is consumed with dreams that are the shadows of mortality. An inn'cont j-oung Fportsman hereabout, in order to shoot a squirrel on the top of a tall tree, climbed another ore near by, and on being asked his reason for so foolish a freak, said, f ' That he didn't want to strain his gun by a loiij stot.!'' A friend of ours says that he has been with out money so long his head aches "ready to split" when he tries to rccolect how a silver dollar looks. He says the notion'that " we livo in a world of change," is a great fallacy. itiTA Justice of the Peace living not quite a hundred miles from Oramel N. Y, married a couple in this wise : You Dronus.i to take te voman you holt by te bant to pc your vife. and tat you will stick to her trcw hell-fire and dundcr den I pronounce you man and voman by Cott !' The happy coup le then started for home. " I did'pt like our minister's sermon last Sunday, said a deacon who had slept all ser mon time to a brother deacon . Did nt like it brother A? Why, I saw you nmhlmj assent to every proposition of the parson. Happiness is a pig with a greasy tail, which every one runs after, but nobody can hold. Teacher. How many kinds of axes are there ? .. Boy. Broad axe, narrow axe, post axe, axo of tho legislature, axing price, an! axo of tho Apostles. Teacher. Good ! go to the head of your class. VOL. A. NO. 6. From the New York Daily News. ' .' ' Hiawatha: "Republicans" have w got the sbk" Got it badly got it sadly ; - ' " ::: ':;: -'- r And it shakes theixt shakes mcst awful ." Shakes their Ribks and their Tftles ; ' ' Shakes their heroes, parsons; liars; ' . Shakes their traitors ; shakes their villains ; - ? Shakes old Horrors Rennet ; Bcechor : -" Seward; Sumner; shakes old Giddlngs; Shakes them outward; shakes' them inward;" Shakes their pions " paper sinners? Out of brecclics,' shirts and diuners.? Let ' em snake, bhakc aiid shiver : - V .Shake sii jj shiver up Salt River,-' . , To the land of the bcreafter-r- ' "'"-"' ' To the bourn from wheiiee'no " shaky" -" 1 Dcmagouge and candidate - ? 1'. Ever can return ! ' ' . ': 8k-Latcly at a distribution of prizes in a German village, a little girl seven yeara old. whoso parents had- jut- becu turned out of their lodgings because they had failed to pay their rent, was asked by the rector ; ? " Have you studied sacred liitiqry. tar child?" . - J " Yes sir." ... ' "Do you kuow the ' history of the crea tion?" "I know that God made all." "Why were Adam and Kre turned out of Paradise?" Ihe child hesitated a moment, and then fixing her eyes on tho examiner replied, " Probably they were turned out because they could not pay .t be rent." - - - Matmmoxial Sociability." IIcnry,:niy love, I wish you would drop that book and talk with me I feel so dull." A long si lence and no reply. " Oh ! Henry, jny foot's asleep." " Is it V Well, don t talk, dc,ar. you might wake it." "An Onxiox as is ax Opinion:" Dr. Kalorum. do3-ou think my darter will -get well?' " Well, if she don'Pget no wuss, and does get some better, she may probably get over it. That is my opinion, Madame, and I think I ort to know !" . ; "I stand," said a Western stump orator. on the broad platform p the principles of '98. aud palsied be mine arm if I deserfjihi." " You stand . on nothing of the kind," inter rupted a little shoemaker in the crowd; r you stand in my boots that you never paid. mc for, and I want the money.'' -: ., A western editor says that a child was tun over by a-wagon three years old and cross eyed and which, never spoko afterwards. He also gives his readers fomc lines which he says wcro written by a young man who lias long since lain in his grave for his own amue ir.cit. : Au Irishman attempted to put a yoke on a pig. He had cornered the grunter in a room having a glazed window, when the-animal, believing that his freedom was abont to be infringed upon, went with a si nsle bound through the window. "Drat it," said the old man, looking after him for a moment. " I've got your dimensions 7 by 9 exactly!" The following is a copy of the sign npou an academy for teaching youth, in one of the Western States. Freeman teaches the Boys and Huggs the G iris." The schoolmas ter is evidently " at home" in that section of the country. An Irishman had been sick a long time, and while in this state wou!d occasionally cease breathing, and life be apparently ex tinct for some time, when he would agaii come to. On one of these occasions, when ho had just awakened from his sleep,. Patrick asked him. ' An' how'll we know Jemmy, when j-ou're dead you're after wakin' up iv cry time ?" Bring me a glass -o'grog, and fay to me, 'Here's till yc Jimmy.' and if I don't raise up and drink,- then bury mc."! JtT few j-ears ago there was upon one of our mercantile houses : ."I A Build: Co., Itnjxirters. - A wicked wag one night took paint and brush, and in one minute, made it read thns: A. Bull tC- Cow TmfiortctT. Numbers of persons called ii the next mo-ning for to see the Imjtortcd Ltftlc, Cruelty to Children. " Jim docs your mother ever whip 3-ou ?'' " No but fcbc docs a precious sight worse, though." "What's that?" " Why ho washes my face every moru ing." .. . JiTPompy said he onco worked for a man who raised his wrges so high that he could only reach them onee in two years. itsTMrs. Thorn, of Palo Alte, Michigan, hung herself and child because her husband refused to take her to a ball'. " dT'What is the diSerence between filling a pitcher with water and throwing a woman overboard ? One is " water in the pitcher," and the other is " pitch her in the water." A recent traveler in America records th -following anecdote: "" Jack," said a man, to a lad just enterning his teens. 11 your fath er's dead." "Darn it," replied the young hopeful, " and bo's got my kuifein his pock et." " " It is with ideas as with pieces of m-ney those of the leaat value generally circulate tha most. "My eyes, Jack !" exclaimed a tar, seeing a soldier chained to a cannon ball for punhdi " iucut" if there aint a soldier at anchor " ..;' ;; -" if