IS 11 fl THE BIXSMNOS OF GOVEENMEHT, LIKE THE DEWS OF HEAVES, SHOULD BE DISIEI3UIED ALIKE UKCT THE IIIOH AND THE LOW. THE KIOH AND THE POOR. 11 Ml is 'li it NEW. SERIES. Tb DEMOCRAT & SENTINEL is publwhe.l every Thursday morning, in Ebcniburjr, Cambria Co. Pa., at $1 50 per annum, jf jaid in advance, if Hot $2 will be charged. ADVERTISEMENTS will bo conspicuously inser ted at the following rates, viz : 1 square 3 insertions $1 00 Every subsequent iusertion I square 3 months 3 o 5 1 year 8 25 0 OO 00 Column 1 year 1 0 60 00 r.uMncM Cards with 1 copy of the Democrat Sentinel per year , 6 00 tfrlrrt )mn: NOT LOST, BUT GONE BEFORE- BT ELIZABETH M. BBlCKETT. Sue ia not dead ; she eits with mc Within my quiet room ; Although they late to me have said, We ve laid her in the touib !' bhe does not speak, but smiles on me With her old girlish smile, As if some happy secret made Her spirit glad the while. roam through old familiar rooms, 1 meet her on the stair: And like a halo round her head Gleams that soft braid of hair. She eecros3ust as she used to seem. In the golJun years ago, When Lif) was in its sunny prime, With hope and love a-glow. stand before her pictured face, A young anil happy girl. A soft light gleaming in her eye. And on each sunny curl. O singer of earth's sweetest lnys ? Though hushed thy notes through pain, Vet with a faltering voice eould'st s.-iy : Yes, I shall sing again 0 far-off city where 6he sleeps. What ia thy pomp to me 'i One little grave is dearer far Than all thy pegeantry. Young blue-eyed sleeper ! never more Upon thy cheek, like rain. Shall fall the tears, whose bitterest glow Was, that they fell iu vain. October with his misty shroud Is robing earth and sky. And up aitd dovn the garden-walks Our petted dead flowers lie: And like an oiH-lent funeral lump Hangs high the ppcctrnl moon, Aud earth seems a great burial place, Where we must meet her soou ! Oh ! in the long untrodden years Whene'er we count our band, 1 grieve to thiuk how we ahull miss The clnsp of one dear hand. And when we speak of thoso who've shared Our bliss, our weal or woe, Whene'er we speak of h:r ! 't trill be, She died U God! long years ago I 3ftii.affllnnroi0. Transcripts from the Docket of a late Sheriff. J)Y rUEDKKICK L- Vl'LTE. SPECIAL BAIL.' HKi'slhat confounded Frenchman again!' j?aid 1, in looking over my budget of writs ; and when shall 1 get rid of him?' that's the point moft material to me. And Khali we ever parfcompany ? He is as closely fitted to my neck as the old man of the sea was to Sin bad's. Aud what a name he has, too! Jean I'ierre IJaptiste Alexandre Petard Gouvain ! Jjet me take a little breath after that!' 1 ilod to run over it quickly: Jean-Peea-I3u-teesUAlessand-Potar-Gouvan : and I breathed a little freer, aud I could not avoid exclaiming : What a name! what a name!' Now,' said I to myself, 'there is wmc quiet net ia the name of John "Doe or Richard Hoe, of John Smith, or any other legal fiction ; but I do object to the abuse of simple customs, ordinarily, and why Jean Gouvain would not ,U as well as the entirety' was, perhaps none of my business. I protest against the use of Jus grhole name in my very numerous inquiries 4fter him at his residence, and demanded to Jsnow, simply, 'if Monsieur Gouvain was at Jiomc.' I said 'confounded Frenchman,' and I meant it; because he had given mc so much trouble, uid he had put my patience and perseverance to 0 severe a test, that I could not but feel iiunoycd at the very many not-at-home.s' BO spitefully, in the end, dealt out to mc in my inquiries for hinj, by the rosy-cheeked, full inooued face, and red-haired Irish door-maid, who BO often, aud in her peculiar way, had nnswered my demand at the door. My case was a very hard one. I had taxed the patience of the attorney who sued the writ; an "alias" writ had been issued, aud my re turn thereto was the same as upon the origi nal, viz., 'not found,' a "pluries." had also is sued, and An "allias pluries," and the same return upon both ; then came the second, third, and fourth 'pluries' and Btill the fame re turn. I believe I had this incubus, this dead weight of writs in this matter, upon my shoul ders for about six mouths or so; and, from the many negative returns J had by my force of circumstances been compelled to make, the patient of the attorney was at length used, up, and he threaten, that in case another such return was made, to sue me for a 'false re. turn.' I thought, therefore, that I was justi Ged in using the expression 'confounded French man'; particularly, as not by reason of any neglect of mine, but Ixfause of his being in the condition of a very little insect, upon who- frail body you might put one of your digits, and then, when you come to look for him, he was n't there! I don't know how it is, but it has seemed to me that there are some very unreasonable rople in this world. I may le mistaken, but thought, that Mr. Gunnip, the aforesaid at torney, was a little, a very little, inclined that way. I declare, I Wave that he wanted or exjiected mc to take Gouvain, as well where lie was nor, as where lie was; uno uml he ex pected me to find the 'little joker,' no matter under what thimble lie was riggeo. If I had inquired onee at Gouvain's resi dence, I had a hundred times; and before my inquiries had got to be a decided pest to the girl, I was frequently and-pleasantly iuvited her to leave my card, or my name ; but when the inquiries were repeated daily, and some times twice and thrice a day, and at different hours of day and night, her good-humor pas sed off, aud she snappishly and pertly replied: 'Sure, an ye'll not lave yer name, nor airy a card ye have, 3Ir. Guvan is notathoam'; and she pushed the door to, leaving me, a disap pointed applicant, outside, to my own reflec tions; of which the position of parties formed the staple commodity. 'The early bird,' I said, 'catches the worm,' and with this comfortable and homely saying, I left the house, determined to be governed by it; and I nursed myself with the assurance that I would be the early bird in the morning following, and that I would try the virtue of the apothegm, catch the worm, aud rid my self of being brought down or up by Mr. Gun nip, imnaking, this time, satisfactorily to him, a true return "id est" : 'Defendant taken: fees due, sixty-nine cents.' On the morning, long before the break of day, I was up and doing. I started out on my snaring expedition ; and as I had a con siderable distance to go before I reached the domicil of my very near dear, and attached friend. Monsieur Gouvain attached, I hoped, and prayed he might be ; very near, I trusted he would be; dear, he undoubtedly would have been, if I had been put to the cost of defen ding that suit which was- threatened against me for a false return, even if it eventuated in a verdict for the defendant, in the way of counsel-fees, etc. And, as I had judged, 1 came upon the door-steps alout sun-rise, when 'for certain' he must be iu the house, I thought, if le ever was; 1 hoped, and yet I feared; and wheu 1 was then in a state of abstracted ness, not knowing exactly upon what business I was engaged, until my hand was upon the bell-pull.' I gave it a jark. and hear 1 the tinkling ol the tx-11 gently decline into nothing ness. 1 listened fur a foot-tread; a minute elapsed then another and yet no one came. I waited patiently : why should n't IV I had endured an eternity of moments, almost, in this, very business 1 1" this time, and I thought I could wait a little lunger; parlicu-I.-ivU- ns T friiicicd the culn linn till 2 lxiiut had been approached, and I would not, as every j thing seemed fitted for mc, destroy my pros pects by acting hastily, and thereby give of- j fence to the one whose business it was to aus- j wer my summons at the door-bell. It was well that I came to this determina tion, for, as I had concluded, the door was opeued, and my red-haired Cerlierus was there, to deny or permit me entrance. Ah! yees be afther Mr. Guvan so early, ar yees? sail she to mc, in a scmi-savago in quiry. I am,' answered I, 'very sorrow to trouble you so early, but my business, is very urgent aud pressing; beside,' I continued, 'after I have communicated. with Mr. Gouvain once, you'll not be troubled by me any more, 1 as sure you. Is he in?' In, is he? troth, I think he is: that is, in his bed, I mane, bairin' he's jist gittin' out,' replied she, jocularly. ' You see, Sir,' conti nued she, '.Mr. Guvan is an airly riser; he goes out airly, and comes home late, an' that's the reason yees niver could find him hoam. Now, if yees travel up the stairs, three pair high, an' to the front of the house, an' mark the door as has the number nine on it, an' rap there, ye'll fiud Mr. Guvan.' 'Thank you! thank you!' I went up the stairs, and having arrived at the top of the three flight, 1 looked around the many doors for the number nine, and it was easily found. I then gave a tap at the door, and then another tap, and I was then reques ted by a voice which proceeded from the room, to 'come in.' I did as I was requested. I went in, and addressed the gentleman, who had not yet risen from his bed, although he was sit ting up : Mr. Gouvain V said I, interrogatively. 'Me 'ave zc houueur,' replied he, very cour teously. He might -have the honor,' I thought, and yet not be the Mr. Gouvain I wanted, when he came to know my business; and, as no one was with me to medicate that he was the verit able Mr. Gouvain, it occurcd to mc at once that I would ask him if he was the Mr. Gou vain with the five prefixes to his surname. 'Oui! Jc le suis, Monsieur! Jeau IVrrc Haptistc Alessandre Petard Gouvain. Vat you vill 'avc wis mc? zc mattaire vat xsV inquired he. 'I am the sheriff, Mr. Gouvain ; and I have a writ for your arrest, iu which you arc ordered to be held to bail iu the sum of fifteen hundred dollars, at the suit of Gaspard Cesaneon. Can you give the bail T 'Vous etes lc sheriff? ha ! ha !' ejaculated he ; 'ze sheriff! Vous avez le papier pour men arrctc! Quinze cent? piastres! Ze hommc what vill me arreto cet Kesancon! Slandare! vat you call clandare, Monsieur Sheriff V me ovo nA rn! me no 'ave fifteen hundred dol- lare ! Vat you call Bkudare, eh ? liesancon, EBENSBURG, JUNE 29, 1 85-1 . ch? vat you call slandare, ch? Monieur t'h.-rifTr' I enlightened him as well as I could, by giv ing him a practical illustration of what slander was, and what consequences flowed from the too free use of the unruly member; which, lacing jK'ifectly intelligible to him, he exclaimed, with delight: 'Ah, ha! je comprends. You call mc EC tief. zcrobbarc, ze rascal, zcblaggar, zoloaf i slandare, ch 'C 'Yes, ail t'.iat is slander,' replied I. Ah, Monsieur Sheriff,' exclaimed ho in great eagerness, adressing me,'pardonnez-moi, me 'avc no ask you for take ze chair ! IJe seat, Monsieur .Sheriff! Pardon! Jesuisthe blag- -v-.. .I..:.. 9 th V T wilfgct from ze bed ; 1 will arranger iyou viU f T 1 1 1 f . T ' CXCUSCZ Ilioi ; i. am ze uiafiiiiir, iu iui, j. avv no ask you for take ze chair ze seat be fore!' I seated myself, as requested ; but I thought my friend exhibited rather too much warmth iu his regrets of omissions in politiuess for my comforts, seeing that he was somewhat pecu liarly fixed ; and I could just at that time freely forgive him, as his mind was upon other mat ters than politiuess. Gouvain, meanwhile, had risen and proceed ed to dress aud arrange his toilet. While I re mained seated, waiting patiently for him, he would occasionally turn to me and remark, in French and Franco-Angliee, and in broken English, his regrets at his want of ciillitc, and his objurgations of slander and I presume he felt it, too giving to the word the whole lengh thened sound, and terminating with a strong emphasis : -Ann- Jarc, ch '!' I thought it very strange that he had not as yet uttered one word of denial as to the charge of slander, or of the arrest, or about the plain tiff; and I was curious enough to hear his ver sion of the affair ; yet although it was none of my business to make iuquiries, I nevertheless was very anxious; an 1 1 doubted not that the narrative, his part of it, would conic in good time ; anil I was not mistaken. He had completed his toilet, and he desired tjknow if I would permit him to-gct a break fast (by this time it was about seven o'clock,) and I assented to his very reasonable request without hesitation, aud we came down the stairs to the hall, where I saw the Milesian guardian of the door: at the sight of me and my prisoner, although she did n't know my business, she addressed Mr. Gouvain, saying : 'YViil yees be back the night , irV 'No, Mary! I zink me nevare come back; I go wis dis gentilhomine ; Je suis tres oblige for your attention : perhaps, I nevare come back. Ah! yes, I oublie 1 forget.' And while saying this lie drew from his pocket a few loose coin and deposited the same in Mary's extended hand, which as she received she showered a thousand blessings upon his head, and hopod that iu whatever position he was placed he would never have a less willing attendant upon his wants than she. And a less willing recipient of his silver, thought I. 'Sure, an I knowed yees was afther takiu' Mr. Guvan wid yees, and niver let him kiln hoam at all anv more," exclaimed she, addrcs- sing me, and looking lor all tne woria line a VI nivr Vim in that dure: and I do 'J ' J , '. , n't know who you arc, shurc ; coming here, shurc ; ami carnn away win yees uaciui giuue man. shurc ; and ye may go; an' yees must n't kim here any more, takin' wid yees such Hi mi t frmrVtiiaii :is Mr. Guvan: no: an Ida niver got troo that dure, nnd d' yc mind that now r Tlii -: n blast T did not count on : vet. as egtfs are not thickens until the period of incu- latiin lias passeu, a moujiui mai m-iniBiuug her anathemas would be realized by the Ara bian proverb, and that like young chickens thev would tome home to roost. 'Mary, said 1 to her, coaxingiy. Ah ! none o' that ! Bother with yees !' said she. Mary.' continued I, 'you have had a deal of trouble.' 'Trouble? Ihadiudadc; an yc may well say that.' 'Zis is geutilhomuie, -Hary, ooscrveu uu- vam. 'Here, Mary,' said I, 'here 's something tor the trouble I've put you to ; take it,' and! dropped a quarter in her ever-extended hand. 'Jow be quictea, ;uary, i"uumii, nblrwwllirr linr. 'I think Mr. Gouvain is nus- taken, when he says that perhaps he will ne ver come back. I'poo this seeming consolation, together with the quarter, the girl appeared satisfied, and Gouvain and myself left the house amid showers of blessings heaped upon both our heads by the now satisfied Mary, who linger ed yet upon the door-stops, and her voice was heard by nic, saying: '(Jon bless yees both' And then 1 thought that the eggs were hatched, and the chickens had got home and had roosted. I went with Gouvain to the restaurant where he usually took his breakfast, and, seated at the same table with him, he, of his own voli tion, while the meal was being prepared, gave me a short history of his and Uesancon's posi tion !! regard to a delicate little affair, where in they were rivald to a fair lady's hand, heart and fortune It appeared that IVsancon was a French man, too; and he and Gouvaia had liecomc enamoured of a young French lady, beautiful in person or miud, as well as being favored with quite a sum of money in hand ; the lady, who, I suppose, acting with the customary eco nomy of her set, was, atyetr, nothwithstaiiding rl.T. U-iA vo.fivril tio. addresses or visits. I do n't kuow which, of both the parties, free from liaving committed Iierselt toeitner ; auu i sup pose she was exercising her best di.-cretiou whom to elect, liesancon or Gouvain. Thus matters stood, when liesancon, fearing the presence, and good looks, and form of Gon- .r-in nrl CL.irTu-iiiT lir ii 1 1 1 vt. have doi.p aiu, II ' ' jhnt. ibrsrt rm.ilitirs. added to a pood address. wwv - r, were of some consideration to a lady under her circumstances, :JihouhsIie had never intimat - .v -..r.l o.-t rr .1.-1 th.it t.n f. rred one over the other ; vet IJesaiicon Jacked the same or any of the advantage iu a measure that (jovam possotwsed ; and he was tired by jealousy in not being elected as the favore par ty ; he therefore was resolved to try a master stroke of jioliey in the art of love by ridding himself or his rival, and having the ground cleared from all incumbrances. This scheme of Jlesancon's was now 1-oing carried out by me, although 1 knew nothing of it before, by the arrest of Gouvain ujm the action of slander which 1 was then engaged iu. I f.lt sorry for him, particularly as he had told mo he had no friends, and could not, therefore, apply to any one to give bail for linn"; yet I was determined if I could serve him in his extremity I would do so. The breakfast being concluded, I observed to him 'that he had lx'tter think over the mat ter, and see if there were none of his friends who would give the required security.' 'Me ave no fren ; me no sink ; me etrangere, Monsieur Sheriff, ct pourquoi me sink. No, no, I go wis you, eh ; oui, 1 go to ze prison, eh ; and perhaps some bozzy will vat you ca'l him, eh '' 'Ilail,' interrupted I. 'A ! oui, bail ; some bozzy will baile me ; bail, ah ! bail est charmante !' I thought that bail would be really charming to my enthusiastic prisoner, but where he was to find that somebody, who perhaps would go bail for him, was beyond my comprehension. Finding that he had no one to call upon iu his extremity, and that every moment I spent with him was a loss of time to me as well as being no benefit to him, I concluded (with his entire concurrence) to take him to jail ; and having given him to the charge of the jailor, I bad him adieu, and was about leaving him : he pressed my hand and said : 'Mon ami, Je vous rcmerci beaucoup, me ver much obliged ; ha ! ha ! Je pense, oui ;' and here he put his hand on his breast in order to convince me of the firmness of his faith ; 'oui, me sink some bozzy will bail, yes, bail e mc.' And I doubted not he felt all he said. 'Adieu ! mon ami,' cried he, and I left him ; but still I heard, as wc parted, the word 'bail' lingering about me until distance drowned it altogether. Matters remained quiet for a day or two ; so also did Monsieur Gouvain, I fancy, cooped up as he was in our larn of a prison iu Kld ridge street ; at least I heard nothing to the contrary. He had been iu close custody the time afore stated, when I received an applica tion by a party who agreed to furuish satisfac tory bail ; and as I was exceedingly anxious to relieve the poor fellow from imprisonment upon what I deemed a frivolous action, I assented to the proposition for bail, and named the time most 'convenient to the sureties, who might attend before me at the earliest hour they saw fit to fix upon. The hour was'appointed, and the ru ratios attcuded and executed the bond for his release. The sureties were ample ami jcrfeetly respon sible; and I thereupon gave an order for his immediate discharge. Gouvain was now at lilrty at once more, an l I supposed that he had forgotten mo, for I did not hear of him for several weeks ; he and his imprisonment passed-out of my memory, engrossed as I was iu the cares of my office, and I thought no more of him. I did him wrong, however, in supposing he had forgotten me, for one day he came in my office, and desired to have a private conversa tion with me, which 1 readily granted, because I was always pleased with him ; ami from the moment I first saw him I was favorably inclin ed to him. 1 observed to him: 'Now, 'Monsieur Gouvain, what will you have?' Vat I vill ave, eh?' replied he, iu great earnestness, and giving his shoulders a shrug, his hands clasped together, 'Ah, Monsieur Sheriff, me vill 'ave. vat, je crois you will not give eh?' And lie looked steadily in my eye as through lie expected to fiud there an af firmative to his demand. 'Speak out, my friend,' said I ; what do you desire '' 'Me desire, mon ami, votre daguerreotype you portrait, you will give him to me, eh':' 'You want my portrait my daguerreotype, do you? Why, I should think you have had enough of my face . 'Non! Non, Monsieur Sheriff. Ah! oui i'oublie,' and he touched his hump of memory witn his iorc-nnger ; vjui, j ouunc. You forget. Monsieur Gouvain; torget what? what do you forget V I asked him. 'Me crczzy, me sink. . Mc marry, mc 'ave charmante lady. Oh! ah! and then striking his head and stamping bis toot, and expressing by action better than he could by language his disappointment la not being awe to communi cate his present state of happiness to tr.e in English. 'Ah, nevare mine ; je nc pane pas Anglais. What, saij I, 'Arc you married, and to whom ?' .'Me marry ze bail bail-e; ah, Monsieur Sheriff, joty lady, la dame est charmante. Ze bail is ma femme, an l lcsancoii is in i bozzy novair. Ze bail bail-e, ha! ha! vair is liesancon? No vair, ha, ha, ha! I love ?c bail bail-e, and he appeared, while uttering his thoughts thus spasmodically, to be in the groatestTgood humor with every body and things except JJcsancoii, whom lie occa sionally 4i it by saying that he was 'iiouun,' by whicli-iuh.-rrcd that he (Gouvain) was, by his adroitm ss, all over or every where. The facts of this case now st-ired me full in the face..cs'iTrjorrs stroke of policy in the art of love was fairly illustrated to me. He, in r.i-il.i- l.i Ti.iiinve n rival lover oat of Ins way, consulted with his attorney, and the two J Lad patched up the plant oiarrcM.iug uuuaiu for f-lauder. This would have been a capital trick, if the removal had been sure; but, VJtoiuiic propone t Dim dispt ? and the very means he resorted to, by putting Gouvain out of the premoe of the lady, was the surest one, if she had any soul, or if ehe had any regard or love for Lhn, to teach her heart. She heard j of tiouvain's arrest ; .-he km w bis lu-lpbs-. ' condition, a stranger to r l.uigungc, law and custom". She, like a tru woman, res pmdod to the promptings of that little moni tor of ur miuIs, and prang to his assistance and relief. She was happy iu l:a ing r. leased the idol f.f her now bursting love : nnd then it was th it Gouvaiu experienced the solid plea sure of leiiig eleetcd the fair one. And then I thought of the int nsity of Gou vain' utterance of the word 'Hail.' He knew, he felt that if there was any love for liiin iu the bosom of tic fair one, bis situation, a pri soner npou the complaint of a rival, would bring it out. If he was remitted to remain iu jail, why, of course, then she loved liesancon. If be was bailed by or through her interposi tion, then, as a matter of surety, he was the favored one, and Jiesaneou's ell'oi t, aided by his attorney, was an apt illustration of the ope rations of all blind guides. 'Votre daguerrotyjic your portrait!' ex claimed Gouvain, addressing mc with great earnestness, and awakening me from the train of thought iu which I was indulging, 'You vill give him to me, ch? Ah, Monsieur Sheriff, I s'all 'ave ze plaisir, ch! You s'all say no; vous m'aceordercz la favour, que je vous de mande no voulez vous pas, chK' 'No,' I replied, 'I will not deny you, but I cannot see what pleasure there can be in re garding a face that always must remind you of your being in jail.' 'Zis affaire, Monsieur Sheriff, est toute dif fcreiite,' ami he touched his left hand with the fore-finger of his right, convincing me, or at tempting to do so, by action. 'Uesancon will 'ave meanest fr nossing, eh! vat I do, ch? You take me ze prison ; j'ai rcstc la for lcctle time. I bail bade, ha, ha! ma chore est mon bail, liesancon is no var; me marry! You, mon cher ami my besterfren me vill 'ave your daguerreotype ; mafeiuiueaussi, you will co wis me for take ze Iikene toute mite. cut'Z partous. I could not resist him, so desirous he seem ed to be, and particularly, too, os it was his wife's request, also; and I went with him at once to Haas, and his desires were satisfied : so I fancied, for he made all the acknowledg ments and thanks in French and Fnglish he was capable of uttering, for the rare favor I had granted the privilege of occasionally glancing at the lineaments of one who, in his language, was his 'cher ami, his 1 "ester fren.' The suit of liesancon vs. Gouvain never came to trial : the order for bail was discharg ed, and a default taken by Gouvain's attorney; aud, as a necessary means of satisfaction, an execution for costs was issued against Uesan eon, which were never collected, lecause, as in the event of hi.s not paying the costs afore said, a Cu Sa would issue, and then he feared the same vis:tation which he had procured for his fortunate rival ; but, unlike him, as he doubted he would find any farr lady 'to bail, bail-e him,' in like circumstances; therefore, when the f't Sa did Issue, my return w:.s, Not found.' He had gone from out my bailiwick. I have seen Gouvaiu often s'uicj. He is, doubtless, very happy with his bail. Indeed, he must le, as any one could not otherwise be who had been so fortunate as he was in having got rid so quickly ami so oppor tunely of his rival iu matrimonial speculations', and who, by reason of his imprisonment, had procured a rich w ife at so cheap a cost, by h r becoming 'Sjecial Bail' in the action Bcxtiacoii vs. (Juumiii. Pat and the Oysters Pat, who had just been transplanted, had Ihh u sent by his master to purchase d bushel of oysters, at tfie qiiai ; but was absent so long that apprehensions were entertained for his safety. He returned at list, however, puffing under his load in the musical style. 'Where have you been":' exclaimed hi.s master. Where have I been? why, where should I l0 but to fetch the oysters V And what in the name of St. P trick kept you so long Y' Long' I think I have been pretty quick, considering ail things.' Considering what things?' 'Considering what things? why considering the gutting of the ti.-h. to be sure. '(iutting what fish?' 'What fish? why blut-an-owus, the oys ters.' 'What do you meau?' What I do mean? why, 1 do mean that as I was resting down foment the Pickled Her ring, having a ilhrop to comfort me, a giutlc man axed me what I'd got iu my sack.' 'Ovstcrs,' said I. 'It's look at 'cm.' says he, and he opens the back. 'Och, thunder aud praties,' says he, 'who sold you these?' It was Mick Carney,' says I, abord the Poll doodle smack. 'Mick Carney, the thief of the world what a blackguard he must le to give them to you without getting.' Aiu't they gutted?' says I. 'Devil a one,' says ho. 'Musha then,' says 1. 'what 11 do: Do!' says he, 'I'd sooner do it myself than I tec you so abused. 'And so he takes Jem in doors,, aud guts 'cm nalo and clean as you'll sec,' opening at the same time, hi.s bag of oyster shells that were as empty as the head that bore them in to the house. EfuHiiooks' mother and old MistrcssSlubbs, were talking about lido babies. 'Why,' said Mistress Snooks, 'when I was a baby, they put me in a quart pot, and then put the lid on.' Aud did you live ?' was the astonishing in quiry of Mistress Stubbs. r 'They tell me I did" was the very atouiah in reply of Mistress Snooks. "-Well, did you er?' and Mistrceo Stubbs fell to ku'itiing like one all possessed. " It never was Sal, and it couldn't be Sy, 1 knew it was Kate oy VOL. 1. XG. 40. Getting Married. The New Orb'rmi l'i ry,,ne relate ft little incident which tr.ieq ir.l m one f the F.astcrn town List hummer. Ii ocunvd in the chunk on ote of those quiet id't.-ruooJin when all the world M-ciiit ready to drvp aeJ.e nbclt the flies buzz lazil v oil the win low panes, aud the don lif ou the door-stone. The afu-rrvou service had cndel. and the congregation wre arranging themives fr the benediction, wheu, to the great astonishment auifthe ma nifest iiiterc.-t the w.rshipperi'. h? pood parson descended from the pulpit to the desk IkIow, and said, in a cahu, clear voice: 'Those wishing to lie united in the holy bonds of matrimony, will now pleacc to come for ward." A deep stillness ess instantly fell over the con ii only by the rustling of silk. cremation, bruk as some pretty girl or excih'd matron changed her iKi.-itioii, to catch the tirst view oi uio couple to le married. No one, however, aiose, or seemed iu the least inclined to arise. Whereupon the worthy clergy mau, deeming his first notice unheard or misunderstood, re peated the invition : 'Let those wishing to be Ubi'.cl in the holy loiids of matrimony, now come forward. Still no one stirred. The silence became almost audible, aud a painful sense of tho awkwardness of the position was gradually spreading among those present, whenayoung gentleman who bad occupied a vacant seat in the broad aisle during the service, slowly aio and deliberately walked to the foot of the altar. He was good-looking and well dressed, but no oue knew him, and no fenialo accompanied his travels. When he arrived uithin a respectable distance of the clergy man, he paused, and, with a reverent bow, stepped to one side of the aisle; but neither said anything, nor seemed at all disconcerted at the idea of being married alone. The clergyman looked anxiously around for tlio bride, who, he supposed, was yet to arrive, and at length remarked to the young gentle man in an uii'ler tone : 'The lady, sir, is dilatory.' 'Very, sir.' 'Had we not Utter defer the ceremony V I think nut. Ho you suppose she will be here soon?' Me, sir!' said the astonished hhepherd; how should I know of your lady's movements? That is a matter belonging to yourself.' A few moments more were suffered to clap-o in this unpleasant t-tate of expectancy, wheu the clergyman renewed his interrogatories. 'Did the lady promise to attend at the pre sent hour, sir?' What lady?' Why, the lady, to be sure, tbt you are waiting here for.' 'I did not hear say anything about it,' wa the unsatisfactory response. Then, sir, may 1 a-k why you are here, and for what purpose you trifle with me iu this manner?' said the somewhat enraged clerical 'I come, sir, simply because you invited all those wishing to be united in the holy loudsof matrimony to step forward, and I happened to entertain sueh a wish ! I am wry sorry to have misunderstood you, sir, and wish you & very good day.' The enediction was uttered with a (solem nity of tone very little in accordance with the twitching of the facial nerves ; and when, after the church was closed, the story got wind among the congregation, more than one girl regretted that her wishes had not been as lwildly expressed as the young gentleman's, who had really wished to bo -united iu the holy bonds of matrimony .' Phtkixu a Hat. Irish girls are always pretty smart, but onee in a w hile they commit blunders and are generally so ludicrous and funny that it is impossible to get angry ut them. Atone of the houses in thi city, lies one who has 'been over' but a few weeks. Lively as a cricket, industrious ns a bee, aud honest and willing to do. she of course is Weil licked by those with whom she has taken up her abode. A few daj's :igo, one of the Men, who Is something of a practical joker, hapjeued to kill a large rat. He handed to Nelly, and tuld her he wanted it cooked for bis dinner. Nelly, with a modest curtesy took the animal and pro ceeded to the kitchen. A short time after, tho lady of the house had occasion to go to the kitchen, where she found Nelly trying to pull the far from the rat, which she was occasionally dinning into a kettle of scaldii -Lr water. Why Nelly! what are you ubout?' a.kcd the astonished lady. 'Sure an 'its thryiugto plm k the feathers oil Jiis thing I am,' sail she, "for Mr. towld me to cook it for dinner.' The ladv soon put a stop to the jicrCrmanc-. aud told Nelly with all the gravity she could command, that the man had betn playing a j ke upon her. 'Troth au' joke it is sure enough,' said she, 'for I never seen sieh feathers to stick iu all my life.' iT'I say ,San;V, where docs Squire Peters li c ? asked a traveler cl a loy Ho sat gnna ing and balancing himself on a r:i! Turn np dat Street, den pa-sdat pond, den turn to the right, den left, den strike off the ole from side -of Marui Shed's hoose, and keep goin' where you a Pkillis iu de corn field and you can't help missiu' it.' A Constitutional Dfkct. There is no end of new names that people invent to dis guise things which they wish to conceal, or to mitigate disagreeable facts, which they cau uot hide. Only a week ago we heard an in genious man plead in excuse for obvious li zuttts that he was wiisHtvttou'illy ttnd. K,,.KT -Why. Mr. H .' said a tall youtb to aiittle person in company with half a doz zen huge men, 'I protest you are so small I did not see you telore Very likely,' replied the little gentleman 'I am like a sixpence among six copper pu nv's; not readily perceived, but worth th- whole of them
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