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"HO ULESSfNUS OP GOVKRNjiEXT, LIKE THE DEWS OF HEAVEN, SHOULD BE D(STRIHUTY:r) ALIKE VPOX THE milll AM) THE LOW, VUE Rlcn ASP 1I1K tWOf,
mmmm, friday, January g, is-54.
VOL 1 X0.I8-
IPfae DEMOCRAT & SENTINEL is published every
Friday morning, in Ebeiibburg, Cninbria county,
l'a., at !fl 00 per annum, if paid in adcanre. if
not 52 will be charged. ' '
ADVERTISEMENTS wiU be conspicuously inser
ted at the following rules, viz :
1 square 3 insertions . $1 00
Every subsequent insertion 25
1 square 3 mouths 3 00
" 6 " 5 00
" " 1 year ' . 8 00
. column 1 year SO 00
'. 18 00
business Cards with 1 copy of the Democrat
4 Sentinel per year 5 00
Letters must be post paid to secure attention.
My Old Kentucky Home, Good Night.
The sun shines bright in the old Kentucky home.
'Tis summer, the darkies are gay,
The corn-top's ripe and the meadows in the
While the birds make music all the day.
The young folks roll on the little cabin Hour,
All merry, all happy and bright;
JJy-'n-hy hard times comes i-knocking at the
Then my old Kentucky home, good night!
Weep no more my lady,
Oh! weep no more to day!
We will sing one song for the old Kentucky home,
For my old Kentucky home, far a war.
They hunt no more for the possum and the coon
On the meadow, the hill and shore;
They sing no moro by the glimmer of the moon,
On the bench by the old cabin door.
The day goes by like a shadow o'er the heart,
With sorrow where all was delight
The time has come when the darkies have to part.
Then my old Kcntuckey home, good night!
Cuoitrs. Ween no more my ladr. &e.
Tho head must bow and the back will have to
Wherever the darkey may go; i
A few more days and the "trouble all will end t
In the field when the sugar canes grow. I
A few more days for to tote the weary load
No matter, 'twill never be light;
A few more days till we totter on the road.
Then my old Kentucky home, good night!
Chorts Weep no more my lady.&c.
Punch's Pocket Book for 1854.
The humor of tho Punch school of wri ters does
not seem to he on the wane. AVhilo men and
women, social arrangements and political fooler
ies remain what they are, there will be no lack
of good caricatures and wise satire. The " Poek
jct Hook " or 1 854, is as good as the first of the
feries ; perhaps better.
The principle illustration is a scene from the j
Australian diggings, "Topsy-Turvy, or our Anti
podes." A number of rough-looking diggers are
sitting carousing outside their rude huts the
Antipodean "Regent street" while literary gen
tlemen in spectacles and black cloth, and fashion
able exquisites in variegated attire, are waiting
.at the table, cleaning knives, pulling off their
master's boots, &c. " Now then, you Master of
Arts !" says one grim looking desjKTado who is
dealing- out a pack of cards, "look sharp with
that pale ale." "Hollo there," fays a brute
who has thrust his head outside a tent, " You in
tellectual being where the doose are my high-
lows?" In the Imckgronnd a youth in a college i
dress is touching his hat to diggers who are about
to dismount their horses, opposite the shed of
"J. Muddles, M. P., F. It. S., Light Porter,
Waiter. Boots and Knives cleaned." The. other
illustrations relate to facctiie in the letter press, j
The following arc among the best of tho litera
A LITTLE fllK.Tr RE APnKKSKn TO Mr PEAKS (HT
AS OLD MAID OF THE WORLD.)
" My dears, love is like chancery ; it is a deal
easier to get into it than to get out again. There
arc thousands of ways for the former, but as for
the latter, it can't be done noways.
' Take my advice, my defirs never lelieve a
man before marriage, and never trust him after
wards. " If men, my dears, were to pay, like servants,
for everything they broke, they wouldn't be so
fond of breaking their hearts for every poor girl
they saw. The fortune of a Rothschild couldn't
stand, my dears, agulust such a ruinous amount
.of breakages. Why I have known a man's heart
"break as often as an American bank, and yet, he
would open the next day with the same brass
plate on his face, on which you could plainly
read ' assurance,' and his heart would go on is
suing tho same false notes as before. Besides,
what becomesof all their brolon hearts, I should
jike to know ? Where do they all go to ? Along
-jnrh the old moous, I suppose ; or they may be
.keeping company,- there's no kuowirig where,
M-tch all the pins that arc lost, each heart being
.stuck through with a pin, like the curious insects
in a museum. '
" There's no need to. tell you, I am sure my
dears, alout choosing a husband. A woman's
instinct generally guides her in those little mat
ters. But this I will tell you, that husbands
.differ as much as geese ; but the softest mind is
not always the worst. The softer your husband,
the more pliable you will find him, and all the
.easier for you to twist him around your little
finger. If husbands trusted more to their wives
and less to themselves, there would Ijc more hap
py marriages ; but, until they learn what is due
,toour sex, and are fully prepared to pay it, that
happy balance will r never exist in a household
which, to the husband, should be th,c source of
as much as a large balance is at lus bankers ; but
at present the wife is not allowed to hare any
share or interest in tho one, or to participate in
the other. ,'
"I will conclude, my dears, with giving you a
few rules with regard to the choice of husbands
in general, and though, my dears, I have never
ventured on the stormy seas of matrimony' my-
self," (here the fair lecturer's voice slightly trem
bled with emotion,) " still, I have watched from
the haven of single blessedness, many of the
squalls and breezes that have taken place on
them, and have derived no small knowledge from
the numerous shipwrecks I have witnessed in
consequence of them ; and this knowledge I am
only too willing to impart to all those who are
! anxious to embark for the United States.
" I shall confine my observations.my dears, to
the small circle of my experience of men, such as
I have studied them ronnd the tea-table.
"If a man wipes his feet on the door-mat be
fore ooming into the room, 3-ou may be sure he
will make a good domestic husband.
" If a man, in snuffing the candles, snuffs them
out, you may be sure he will make a stupid hus
band. ' ' -
" If a man puts his handkerchief on his knees
whilst taking tea, you may be sure he will be a
"In the same way, always mistrust the man
who will not take the last piece of toast of Sally
Lunn, but prefers waiting for the next warm
hatch. It is not unlikely he will make a greedy,
selfish, husband, with whom you will enjoy no
'brown' at dinner, no crust at tea, no peace
whatever at home.
" The man, my dears, who wears goloshes,
and is careful about wrapping himself up well
before venturing into the night air, not unfrc
quently makes a good invalid husband that most
ly stops at home, and is easily comforted with
" The man who watches the kettle and pre
vents it boiling over, will not fail, my dearg, in
his married state, in exercising the same care in
always keeping the pot boiling.
" The man who doesn't take lea, ill-treats the
cat, takes snuff, and stands with his back to the
fire, is a brute whom I would not advise you, 1113'
dears, to marry upon any consideration, either
for love or money, but most decidedly not for
" Rut the man who, when the tea is over, is
discovered to have had none, is sure to make the
best husband. Patience like his deserves being
rewarded with the best of wives, and the best of
mothers-in-law. My dears, when you meet with
such a man, do your utmost to many him. In
the severest winter he would not mind going to
bed first." '
(Here the lecture concluded, and the several
young ladies retired to their respective avoca
tions.) THE MAHOOAXT SPEAKER.
When a man a 3-oung man not lorn w ith
natural eloquence a 3-outh to whose lips the po
tato blossom has never magicallj- imparted the
flowers of speech when, we say, a 3'oung man
is called upon his legs, and stands .with ground
glass m his stocKings ms heart working, like a
piston, twenty coward power his ears ringing ,
with the vibration of forty thousand bells his
eyes striving to fix the dancing candles, and his
tongnc as cold and motionless, lying in his mouth
withal as clammy as a dead snail when a man
is m this tremendous stress of emotion, then
and particularly then he is called upon to own
that that very moment of insupportable agony j
- --"""v. ....
n.:. i:e.. ........ I
We say nothing of the hy-risy of the asser-
that ckhIdcss that for the nast tcn vears has nut i
forth this Pockut Book as a daily guide and mou- i
itor to millions, we propose to set down a certain
number of toasts to meet some of the large and
small necessity of table, or, so to sak, of ma- :
I. Birthday speech on arriving at the ape 0 one ,
. 1. and twedy. . ;
Ladies and ccntlemen : Standine: 011 the broad :
. . . .
ground ofinannood, I hx.k around mc and thank
yu. . Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I feel mv re- j
h.-oonriiiip' w-illi th rhiin-h nrarrlrn and .
ceding with the Prime Minister. I hope, if call- j
I upon by my parish or my country, I shall he
found equal (as that distinguished novelist Eu-
t a i..-i t r.;tvor c.r.
And now nermit me to allude to the authors of !
my being, the proudest of authors, since it can be
said of every child what cannot he said of every
book, the child is original. Use or omit this, ac-
r to the cajmcity of the company for a joke.
best of fathers I ow much ; and when 1
lured that it is despite of himself, his pa-
feel assured that it is despite of himself, his pa-
. i.. . 11 ..." , ...1 t r.i
rental inicniiou 10 pay au 1113 ueoio, iien 1 icei
this, I also feel I shall owe him considerably
more ! ' Indeed, at thc present moment, I canat
. '' . ii-".-
venture to surmise the amount of obligation:
however, let that pass, but let it pass into thank-
fulness for what is gonc-and. oh I with treble
,011. Hypocrisy ,s highly necessary m decent ; ,Uv,,rvd fwt my rHg workcd by. ; a home lor another wanderer ; a rest .or another , n :nlil , he is a pl.,,ginnn. Are you ready, dear Mrs.
life. It wtae veneer of mahogany covering the j certain hands with hearts-case and roses-I shall i Wt'?T , , , , ' presented himself at the appointed hour. The ;" Harriet ,' to take a .econd l.k, after reading tho
deal plank ; making meaner wood printable in , Pay t0 myfip,r, U niy parjulise hcre J emcd to us as wo stood t lo-re, and so ' an1 a,,. J outside label upon a man ox a woman, and to
- ' ' ! 1'iere loan ut the Oruie very passionately and ! 0 0 ' ' drcssin"-the acdience -iiid : conlirin it, or not, according 10 toi s mark,
but sympathize very deeply with the sufferings ,K.le my Evc , , hurried away from Greenwood, and were once ' " ' ; ' " j v,Vl m kst.lf soul0wW ? If .so, the
of the hypocrite. Hence, in the exuberance of! , . . more mingled with the tideofthe living. '.' .v.. ';, i socictv of Hi-hland Terrace will be ddighiful to
sponsibility ; 1 leel my privilege of citizenship,;"' . , . ' . The soldiers are still tampered with, and a , . , if it (,in't ,l,Lkrs w "' ! iU"
and I hope I also feel my duties. Ycsterdny I Jur gratitude ? No, gentlemen ; in giving ut- vo attcmlant hal to taUe0 llight, ling dis- 1 5 1, Tt Zt J UH l'.th " Rcall' 'Ul lwi' " 1 W5 !
w8S.an infant-to:day.,(Are,rZ'6osom urith these solemn and profound emotions- fc ync Battrrtthet a , ; the "ihere said ho doctor, htt.r. xin U,U, uforoloI1,ost5c t,-oul.k,, -pcrplcxit.es of
the expanded hand,J to-d'ay 1 u, - -i Sr ' V IT n?t nU - fnt on gunrd . hanU' M an-vbMd s"ddcn' nimd-I cannot say which will die f,rst my w,f
ding to the benignity of the British constitution, f '"T ' 1 atOTO oftho hot " f yTn" h tl.T U, hn't!,. f'S ! -
lam eligible this sitpposes you not to be a Jeicio are profi)und, fr they come from the very ( s,,aU not , ithout too many inci- " "f'"' ,Z 'Id fellow " continued he : " Ah" d the "" "preying much
any office. I see a tight and extendc-,1 line be- bottomest Attorn of my heart-(gentlemen, it is . dcnU to lelatc lo you. Kor thc proscnt Jlicu. to memory, my V4 conUmied a, f j
, .. .'.. -.i. t u sometimes the allowed privilege of deep feeline to o 1' patting him on the baLk, " if you ever forget this. ! r:. .1.. m. c...
inrp m iM'o-iiiniiir h 11 11 1 fit- 1 linn 11 n aiiii'ii t 1 ."HniiiMiiniLr mi niun iiiiil ti rxipii-ii'ii imtc i
thankfulness Dr the allowance that is to coiuc.- . ever my hnger and thumb shall t.ke from with...
. ..!. . - . -. .
And now now snail tspeaic 01 trie Kindness oi m y
mother ? How, with sufficient affection for years
..v... .v..v...v. j.a
,.r:.. 1 1 1 - - .l i- a -,- ii c
of indulgence, -Uginning, m the dim tyihght of,
infancy, with the unlimited run of the sugar-ba-.
" "nu enaing with any amount of pocket-mon-
ey and (heroically daring tho anger of my father) , . If the token presented be a tratch," say C vAnd ers: - Put your' month close to the wart, and pleasures or others, that there would DC no more
withheecret trust of the latchkey. I hav,.;!. never, gentlemen, shall .1 it ticket y UHit in , wispcr that if it will not go away you S
soto thank thc friends of my childhood.. To.., .heart will pulsate in. unison with- its sound; nev- -Vill burn it out with caustic. If it doc, not tke j fnv,t self-cau.scd ; it wilt make that little r-'t cf , h" !, , r ,
you, Mrs. , her n-imr.) who watched over cr will it strike -the time, but my fancy will, with the hint, 1 as god as your word" ' thc 'world in which j ou move a fair ai K-tcn. 1 they '"" '- "r . . ' '
j my second teeth, and took me to the dentist's,
(when my mother shrunk from that painful duty;
i to' you I owe my dental regularity, here funic,
and trust that for many years, 1 may exercise
IU3' molers and incisors 011 your beef and pud
ding. Maj' the daj' be long, long distant, when
I shall inherit your punch-ladle, ornamented with
a Queen Anne's guinea,' to say nothing of the
base Mammon, called, in the slang of the selfish
world, the Three per Cents. And yon, sir,' name
and address family Jriend, can I forget the inter
est 3-ou, my godfather, took in my earliest wel
fare ? Can I cease to remember that upon 3-our
advice I was flogged for truant, when the weak
ness of my parents would have suffered me to
pass unscathed ? No, sir, that most healthy fla
gellation I shall never forget. It is marked, here
again the hand to the heart, delibly here. You
are a childless bachelor : would it were otherwise!
Would I could call the son of such a friend 1113
friend ! It was not to be, and I bow to fate.
However, sir, believe this ; the name with which
3-ou have honored me shufl never be sullied ; nor
shall the estate with which that name is proudly
associated should it in fulness of time descend
to me, for one month, one day, one hour, one
minute be sullied by a mortgage be blighted
by a money lender. Ladies and gentlemen, for-
give my feelings; and, in conclusion, believe
and although I am I am indeed a man, I never
felt so much a child.
2. A liridc-noom's Speech. " The Health of the
Bridegroom and Hride."
My friends : Of myself at this most mvstic hour
I will say nothing. No ; but I thank 3011 for my
wife. Wife ! Blissful monosyllable. A blend
ed harmony of all earth's music ! Wife that calls
up, as with an enchanter's wand, the homestead
and the lienrtli' tr L.ltli c-wim'n.r
singing on the W-and the cat sleeping, p ! gss, and blowing them again into different ob
fouudiy sleeps on the ryg ; a word that intensi- ! ' -
fics so many meanings ! The call of butcher and ! i
baker and milk below and a quarter's rent !
and water-rate and the Oueen's tnvos. T.n,lio
and gentlemen, when I onlv dance at the wed-
ding-ring upon mv wife's finirer that rin-nnd!;
that finger wliich it lias been the summit of my
bliss this morning to bring together when I
look upon that simple bit of golden of wire, it
seems to me that in the words of the bard Avon,
" I have put a girdle round about the world," a
world of Leant v and truth, of constanev and love. I
When I look it that ring and how can I help
looking at it .? does not its brightness fascinate
ami chain me yes, I will repeat it I am proud
to repeat it-chain me ? When I look at that
rinir, am I not reminded or the circle of demestic
duties circle even and complete, and without
a tlHW A f'il-l't. hnrirM-lllirtuc tcitl, nrililj.n ntlnp.
ance a circle of purity without allov' a never
ending still beginning round of earthly happiness.
My friends, when the homymoon is over not
that it ever will 1 over with my own own
here pi re the briilc's name, Arabella or Dorcas, us
the name mn)J he and myself, (for we propose
to onjT Uve,ve honcymoons CTtry 3-ear of otlr
llTCS j whcn l t.ntcr my house aml herc let s
rcturn dlle tllants to my ho,loI.ed futhcr-in-law
who has furnished that unpretending mansion
with cqual taste au(1 liWali,y thoxlzh tu. will
forJ;vc lnc in tWjJ confl,ling hour whu U4C ,)eart
BWcUSf aml lhc tonguc wiu spcak if t jocoRcIy
oUservc to him, that the house has a wine-cellar,
ana that his taste 111 tawny tort is unexceptiona- 1
. . J 1 1 I
m,. i t . r . i i r it
! ble t lien, I say, I enter 103- house, and for the
first tilnc sing Ju my arm placc mj
Qeiitlemen : Tn having filled the office of
L"r'r7i'" " ne "J"fC. "nrrner mar oj i nnnemor
f ,he KrfhfT'er' Churchwarden or Treasurer to
0 Cnclel rluh1 assure you I have ha.l but one
object your interest. That object, I .'fearlessly
ai!Scrt- l,a8.ncvcr to accompany me. It
hs gone to bed with mc ; it lias slept with me;
k ha;? ""l UP witl ? l has shaved with me.
x,.,,- : 1 t 1 . i a. . . . i . .
v"t "' e 1-ia. s.ar
10 ,n3 CJ c. a w lnJ "and, and the roses to
, .....lfc -vj.
u,,ale B""'-. a 1 1 '""tSf "" impuiiv e
1 soul m,,sl CIa,m 10 at lms 'o'entj ,n g,v-
i ln "iterance to this, and much more than this,
' much more easily conceived than spoken, I mere-
state tliat' m fulfillil'S your service, I Jiave
fulfilled my own personal pleasure! I have
j sought no olhcr reward I expected none I
' wishl ft none. Nevertheless, gentlemen, when
l 1 look pon the splendid candelabra before me
H candelabra of fourteen branches I lx-g to as-
surc 3'ott thftt 1 hM aSain and 6m' in the deep
, midnight, contemplate the fourteen wax candles
midnight, contemplate the fourteen wax candles
: that will be continually burning therein onlv
; - "
j RS 80 man S1415101'"""1'
i vivifying suns kindling and strengthening mo in
: ,wr. ... .. v
I If the piece of plate AoW be. a snuff-bos, say:
.And, gentlemen, whenever I open this box.when-
- ' . ... . . .
. 01m, nuumu un-
and thumb shall fillip off thc particles that
c r .
mil- -wlliATO T clinll T,ir, al ,o l1nnn t ho. i.firt
mJ Mhere.lsliallmoializennon thOM.. particles,
think all rewards but dust, but that best re-
. w ara, your irienusnip 3 our Mippori.i . r
Sf rfrct cf H A. (rrr Ui I lllltm ! : MUV lilt. Ill Jil lllJ VI l. HULHUHI inui . 1 J . -
backward flight, return to the present moment, j
the happiest, proudest moment of my life ! j
Should Ike Speaker be a married - man, ami!
should a silver teapot be uho presented to hisvtfe,
he mut satj ; It is said, ladies and gentlemen, that j servant asked him nfler dinner, if she should well to do in the world, and what was some W
a man must not praise himself. Yet how is it j sweep his room. Bung in rather an irritable 'Surprising in the limb of the Uw averse toeu
possib to avoid such eulogy when called upon ,' mood, he assented e'tishly, telling her not to ! courage litintio 1.
tO Snetk of his wifp u-lmidnf Linxiir flu. ili.ant I
A , - - - - - " v. ..... -
and most precious part of his existence ? Gen
tlemen, I thank 30U for .Mrs. -. You have
inscribed some of her virtues .on that silver tea
pot ; I fearlessly say some of them, gentlemen,
for I do assure you though do not misinterpret
such assurance it would take an exceedinglv
large silver teaboard to boot, to bear, even in the
shortest short lTaud, a notice of the qualities
tkat, like the flowers uKn the satin gown in
thich she appears before 3'ou on this happy oc-
asion, .cover and adorn her. Indies and gentle-
men, whilst thanking 30U for this teapot, permit
Sie tosaj' that ou could not have chosen a more
appropriate present for our domestic health.
What the tripod was to the ancient priestess,
the tea-pot (with a considerable improvement) is
to the English housewife. If it does not inspire
j Wr with propheev-, it does much better ; it fills
j ler with gentleness and gootl-humor, and makes
j ler cheerful in liestowing cupsol cheerfulness up-
j n others. Oentlemen, it is said by Arabian
' writers, that Solomon's genii were confined in
i kijttles then allow me to sa- the3' must have
' UU;U tea-kettles ; for from them ministered by
j woman man drinks quietude, rclreshing calm-
nss, and domestic wisdom.
jWe could add tweht- other samples ; but feel
assured that, with onlv a tolerable memory, and
presence of mind exercised at some half-dozen
Ubles, the speaker ina- adapt the nbovcsenteiic.es
U almost any subject, melting them like broken
A City Asleep.
1 ! Iheftew lone Ariimnc has the loilowmg prei
i -v thi,, in lrflTB,tc to Greenwood cemetery :
A day or two ago we visited a city, a pop.;
Jous city, whose houses will outlast New York,
for they shall endure " till doomsday." Strange
to sa3', it is not noted on the best maps ; stran
ger to sa3", though its population is daily incrca-
.. - . , ,
T Iia irnhli.il Hump of I'npihc unvpa hu Q nprrr
j banned a single car there ; the shout of the pi
Lonccr 5,1 further west has never lured then
j ,lcnce 10 sctK ,lc"w no,lles" ln,,cca- lnu c"3 wc
i "P" Elands anc, like a rock-bound isle in
j tho m,dst ofa t"""buleiit ocean the busy world
wl,iri and roars arouJ. tcre it remains un-
1 1. 1 1 T 1 I il .
We visited it in broad dav-, but the streets
were empty ; not a familiar face or voice to greet
us ; not a light footstep to make music to our ear.
It was indeed strange, very stranse ; there shone
the sun, with the mild and beautiful radiance of
autumn, and 3-tt no sound of living thing. Mar
ble mansions were on pvery hand, but none of
tlie solemn tenautn', for it was a solemn CU3-,
caiae forth to meet and welcome us. Names
wo e graved on evcr3' portal, but thc3- that own
ed them where were they 5 It was a citv- of
najies and not of things ; of words and not of
At length there came a train there was an ar-
' rivtl. On it came, noiseless! v, slow! v. Was it
all dream? By mansion after mansion it pas
sed, and stopped. A tenant Jbr another dwelling;
If the testimony- of the correspondents of the
New York press are to be credited, Cuba is again
on the evc of an outbreak. The correspondent of
the Courier, under date of ilSth ult., writes :
i Durm'jr the nat week some ot our troons hurc
been out in marching order for campaign servi...
.lAfii- 0 Iaiipiim' of a ff- il:ie llwv ret nrm"il to
J J J J
JIavanna Several war steamers have also been
; t t but t tun.cl yesterday
Somot hinir serious must lie en
; sW, for the Captains of part;dos (sections of
country) havc orUtsrs iu of an inyasio t0
. call upoU tli0SC ,.5 wll0 arc suspecte-lof par- j
j ,,!, a,-t, ar.A f,, ,.,...!
; thcm- to offer thvir ons and paperty Cr the
, Sl,allish service. Whin a Undin" shall take
j piacCj an natives are to 1 called out, old and
j youngj married or unmarried, capable of bearing
: arms aml wiIcrc'monov is I10t forthcoming it is
i to taken, and also whatever property can be
sc;7cd upon Thc rigor of tic Iaw is to fan upon
; allwho resist in any Way, i. e. they will 1 shot.
; auwho resist in any way, i. e. they will 1 shot.
ti.:.. o, ..i.,.i ,v. .1 ... 1 . 1. t
; iura uiv: buumucrc i iuv umruiiicut w men 1
1 u Always Uok on the bright side of things,
- 11 , . , , ..
. llvc Xo"fr ve -Uer digestion, cam
. -uu " lv" , ",uv" F 1
IhA bfliic Ti u-ttn Tfikna tine vipu- fF lift ami
. ... . ... .. .
tilings ic nl-kiif tow. in livn in plrtvur I..t ml
, - - - .-
a ' D,S wnunc, aim go 10 uit parson y, Un wic
1iri.llll.CT .....I,,.' , I t.l.. f1 .1 itl'i lk II
4171: e .!:...:. T..l....
(.inmm iiivavuiuiiuiii inn omv vi vuiuau.
. . .
, J" Puueli is a rood doctor at times. He
gives the following for the benefit pi wart - wear -
Lavater. the famous physiognomist, though
an enthusiast, was a kind man. and his wife one
1 of the most amiable of women. One dav his
touch his books or papers. When the servant
iiau been gone some time, he sani to his witc.
" I am afra'J she will eause some confusion up
In a few moments lus wife, with the best in-
tentlon, stole out of the
i room, and told the ser-
rant to be careful. ..Lavater met his wife at the
bottom of the stairs, on her return, and exclaim
ed, as though secretly vvxtxl about. Bouielliiug : .
" Is not ny room swept yet ?" .
Without waiting an instant, he ran up ktairs,
j and as he entered the room the girl overturned !
, an inksand which was standing on a shelf. .She !
j was much terrified. Lavater called out hastily, I
"What a stupid beast you are! Have I not i
j positively told 3'Ou to be careful ?"
What followed we will let Lavater tell him-
j " Mj-wife slwwly aud timidly followed mo up
j stairs. Instead of being ashamed, m3- auger
; broke out anew. 1 took no notice of her; ruu-
j ning to the table lamenting and moaning as if
j the most important writings had been spoiled,
j though in realit3" the ink had touched nothing
but a blunk sheet and some blotting paper. The
. servant watched an opi.irt unity to steal away, j
My wife approached me with timid gentleness.
"My dear husband,' said she. I stared at her
' with vexation in my looks. She embraced me.
I wanted to get out of the wa3'. Her face rested
for a moment on 1113- cheek. At length, with
unspeakable tenderness, she said, ' You will hurt
3'our health, my dear.' I now began to beasha-
mod.- I vas silent, and at last began to weep.
What a miserable slave to my temper I am ! 1
dare not lift up m3 --vcs. I cannot rid myself
of that sinful passiou. M3- wife replied, Con
sider, inj"dear, how man3 da3's and weeks pass
J away without your lieing overcome by anger.'
I knelt down beside her, and thanked God sin
! cerely for that hour, and for my wife."
On a certain occasion a medical professor de-
' livering practical lectures to the public, a cawkv
t 1 c .
Kllow thought he had devised a mode 01 turning
the laugh against the doctor. He mounted the
stage, and Ix-ing questioned as to his disorder,
said ver3' gravely, "
" Why, I'm a liar."
" Sad disorder, sir, but perfectly curable,"
said the doctor.
'Well," said the man, ''but I've a worse
complaint than that I've lost my memory."
" Quite curable, also," ad. lid the doctor; "but
I must make 1113 preparations. Come again af
ter dinner, and I will be read3' for you ; but pay
down five shillings."
The man who had intended to have his fun
gratis, resisted, but the doctor declared lie never
let any one down from the stage till he had paid
" Besides," said the doctor, " how can I trust
you ? You sa3- 3-011 are a liar and have no mem
ory, so you will either break 3-our promise or for
get all about it."
loud laugh from the audience exprc.-sed their
acquiescence in the justice of the claim, and the
poor fool was compelled to lav down the ca.-h
No one supposed he would erne again, but he
a vciy serious afi'air ; and I hereby engage to re-
turn the money, if the audience do not acknowl-
edge the cure, and that I am fairly entitled to !
the reward." I
The man sat down was furnished with a glass
f of water. The doctor produced a box of flatten-
. t . , i i
j ' offmi, t0 w lfonr
ininst'lt. 11c men cave u? vi mem 10 uic man,
- 1 IT .1 .. .. . il .... i., iV.. I
. 1., 4'...
who. alter many wry laces, i: .mo n, m.u,,,,,,
call on uie, and III return the money.".
One Happy Heart.
heart to-dav? En-
vied privilege. How calmly can you sceji 3-our
pillow! How sweetly sleep! in all the world,
there is nothing so sweet as giving comfort to the
distressed, as getting a sun ra3-in a glom3-heart,.
Children of sorrow meet us wherever we turn;
there is no monicnt that tears arc not .shed and
1 sjhs uttered. Yet how many of those tears and i
j t,sc .j by our own Uiouehtless- !
nvss . how- manv' a daughter wrings the wry !
..KB iw n.anv' a dau-hter wrings thc rv
.... .: , . 1
j ju of 9 fond mother PV acis 01 iinKiiiiincss anu
I "ingratitude How many .husbands, by one lit-
Inakc a whole day of sad h.HirsaiU un-
i uc '
' kind tliouchU.' How many wives, by angrv re-
j . J aivl embiUer their own lo-
.! . , ow roany brothers and sister
i IMii j
' meet but to vex and injure eamthT, inakinjr
Illl.t i - j '
1 wfiuniwui no imraau um.au m.u.. .10,11 e.i u ,
; onc worUi.d uppu this maxims da v by day, strive
1 .... .. , .. ,.n..n,. I..,t - . v.. t.. ....
. , ' t :..f,... ... '
i lO maUe Some Ileal I n.iili, llii"UM , ieenti:,
I madness, bale, --ith ther V.ndred eV.l associa-
! tions would leave the earth. Our minels would
1 be so 0ccu41u.nl in coatcinpiaiion .01 adding 10 u
. . r . a... i,..t a.i.BU -, 1 .- rA ia 1 nro
i -a,- ... 1 i - 1
miii si tn 1 1 i'n 11 . iiuu vAV,iwnn.u .
Nonsuiting a Creditor
j There was a certaa lawyer on the Cnjc, a long
; lime o. tho 011U- . ii...o ,1
; and far ought I know r.t present He' was a man
j One day a client came to him in
a iuit u-rn-
, ' in rage :
t ' Look here, Sjuire," said he, " that cie Mast?
j ed shoemaker down to Pigeon Cove, has gone
, and sued me for the money fr a pair cf 1
' boots I
1 owed him.'"
Hid the boots suit you V
"Oh ! yes I've got them on now fust rata
Fair price '
" Oh. yes." '
" Then you owe him the money honest !v V
" Well, why don't you pa3' him ?"
Why, 'cause the blasted snob went and mcd
me, and I want to keep him cut of the n.om v li
! I kin."
" It will co,t 3 0a sonn-thinr."
j "I don't kcera cuss for that. How much,
; money do ou want to begin with ?"
j Oh ! ten dollars will do."
" Is that all ? Well here's an X, so go ahead "
; anI the client went out, ver- well satisfied w ith
j l'ie beginning.
I lawyer next calkd on the shoemaker and
asked hiin what he meant by commencing Wn!
; proceedings ajainst M.
"AVhvV said he, " I kept on temiin to him'
till I got tired. I knowed he was able to pay
and I was determined to make him. That's tho
long and short of it."
" AVell," said the lawyer, " he's always We:
customer 10 you, and 1 think vou acted
1 10 nastily. There s a trifle to pay n account of
j y"r Proceeding but I think you'd Utter lke
: uns hve dollars and call it square."
certain Squire, if you say so.ud d-irmd.
glad to get it," was the answer".
So the lawyer forked over one V, and kept the
In a few days his client came aLi g and .-J-.td
how lie got along w ith his case.
" Rapidly !" said the lawyer " we've ,c.i
suited him ! and lie will never trouble you." ' :
"Jerusalem! that's treat !" cried the client :
"Id rather a gin fifty dollars Uian have him cot
the money fur them boots." .V. 1'. Spirit the
Wukuk Goon Society xav he For.vn. N. P.
Willis, in reply to a lady correspondent, wh
asks about socie(3- in his vicinity, sa v.s:
" Without seeing you, and know iug something
of our stage of womanhood, and your experience
of life, I can scarcely choose with safety between
describing our 'society' as profoundly stupid or
most varied and agreeable. I, myself, find it the '
latter, but then I hxve got tluongh with Diy rrus! '
experience of life, and like people neither mors
i nt,r ,css f"r tl,e ,10,,se they live or the clothes they
wear. I harming- women tux- everywhere some
smothered under their husbands' good dinner, or'
shelved uway ia bank stock and splendid ccrria- '
ges ; some unthc.ucht of in dairies, or forgotten
behind wash-tubs and single blessedness. .Na
ture 's noblemen areevervwheie in town and put
j os lown' gloved and rough-handed, rich and poor.
ie. . .. ....
I'rejddico against a lord, because he is a lord, is .
,oslu!? u,c chance - Hinting a good It-llntr, as
! u,um s prejudice against a ploughman ivauie
A Good Excuse.
There is a society in oxi.-tcuce in this city
which like most other ass ciations tif the same
j kind, has a standing rule that all members ;vJ:o
late or absent themselves Minll Ix- fined a
j certain sum unless they shall U able to g.ve sH -
llllir HH Lilt 11 la OI MilOllll'.. . ' u
. . a0- v., .n,4
1 (Hie IK I UMU1 1 n lliV 1 11 in. i Miua n ivi v..
,.liairnian ake-l him his exc.e for King
J retar- thc cxcue is a good one."
i The mcmlier ;oiisepiciitly took his s.at.
, next morning another memljeriet him and with
I much fe-cling asked how his wifu and daughtif
j " la excellent health, " rcplkd he.
"How! I tbougln you said last night that
,' 3-011 did not know which would die first."
. - I did ana am stui m a ouau-wry. 1 ui.c
however will decide the qiicithn.
rr7'" Tapa- ' 3" Ihtmmi catch anything.
.,:m. .1....'. ..,n.f.,r;i''
1 11 in- 11"" 1
" Well, then how did you cau-li that cold you
have got ?
I " By running der your mother, to bring her
home rrom thc Worn a. V Bights meeting-
' r- .-A.n Boston ha c..ina.cna-d a uit
r- , . ouian III IKJl'" ii
ofdivors against her lni.haia. -
J I......J.1,., .n,.!l
' .ll.m- In irnn V luf v .. o.,..
, imi "" r. - , ,
' of thc moUcs-jug tl,uu used it ; a
.-v:j.... ..vorv Viik-c woman cvn-iders ia-