Democrat and sentinel. (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, September 02, 1853, Image 2

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The DEMOCRAT & SENTINEL is published every
Friday morning, iu Ebensburg, Cambria county.
Pa., at Si 50 per annum, if paid in advance, if
not S2 will be charged.
ADVERTISEMENTS will be conspicuously inser
ted at the following rates, viz :
1 square 3 insertions SI 00
Every subsequent insertion 25
1 square 3 months 3 00
" " 6 " 5 00
" 1 year 8 00
" column 1 year 30 00
A " " 18 00
usincss Cards with 1 copy of tlie Dc'iuocrat
".J- Stntinel per j-ear 5 00
K5 Letters must be post paid to secure attention.
jjtlctt Jottnt.
CI?" A. Haut has issued a volume of Poeiiis by T.
BicaisAX Read. It is a neat book, and some of the
poems are beautiful instance the follow ing :
Down behind the hidden village, fringed around with
hazel brake,
'(Like holy hermit dreaming, half asleep and half
One who loveth the sweet quiet for the Lappv quiet's
Dozing, murmuring in its visions, lay the heaven-enamoured
And within a dell, where shadows through the bright
est days abide,
Like the silvery swimming gossamer by breezes scat
tered wide,
Fell a -hiuing kein of water that ran down the lake
let's side,
As within the brain by beauty lulled, a pleasant
thought may glide.
When the sinking sun of August, growing large in
the decline,
Shot his arrows long and golden through the maple
and the pine ;
And the russet thrush lied singing from the alder to
the vine.
While the cat bird in the hazel gave its melancholy
And the little squirrel chattered, peering round the
uickory pole,
And, a sudden like a meteor, gleamed along tae
oriole ;
There I walked beoide fair Inez, and hergfrtle beauty
Like the scene athwart my senses, like the sunshine
i my
Aud her fairy feet that pressed the leave?, a -pleasant
music made,
And they dimpled the sweet beds of moss with blos
soms thick inlaid.
There I told her old romances, and with love's sweet
woe we played,
Till lair Iiiez' eyes, like evening, held the dew l.-eneath
their shade.
There I wove foi her love ball ! . Fu h as !.ver only
Till the sighed ond grieved, as only mild and io' ii:
maiden grieves ;
Ai.d to hide her tears she stooped to g!ei'r. the violets
from the leaves,
As of old sweet Knili went gleaning 'mid the oriental
hea es.
lknrn we vvaik-.-d beside the Irktlet : gan'rg deep in
to her eye,
There I told her all :ny passion! With a sudden
blu?U a nd sigh,
Turning liall" away with luok askant, she only made
"How deep within the water glows the happy eve
ning sky!"'
Then I a.sked her if she loved
me, and our hands met
each in each.
And the dainty, sighing ripple
seemed to listen up
the reach :
While thus slowly with a hazel wand she wrot along
the lieach,
"Love, like the sky, lies deepest ere the heart is stir
red to speech."
Thus I gained the love of Inez thus I won her g"nl!e
hand ;
And our paths now lie together, as our footprii.ts on
the strand ;
We have vowed to love each other in the golden mor
ning land,
When our names from earth have vanished, like the
writing from the sand!
Calcs anb jhrfebrs.
From Dickens' Household Words.
Five years ago, my brother William and my
self started as wholesale merchants in Honey
suckle lane, City, with limited warehouses, and
Still more limited capital. Had our rnminerciul
prospects been more cheering than the prospect
from our little cobwebbed counting house, we
should indeed have had small encouragement. I
remember discussing with my brother, during
the first week of our career, the style of our do
mestic establiscment, and the extent of our per
sonal expenditure. We mutually agreed, in or
der to throw as much capital into our business as
possible, to dispense with the services of a cat
upon the premises ; and, both of us being about
the same height and build, that one best suit of
clothes and one visiting best hat should suffice
for both. It is true our hat used frequently to
slip rather suddenly over William's eyes whilst j
nodding to a friend in the street, and that the fit
of the coat on him was slightly baggy ; but he
lore it cheerfully.
The first year of our little business went on
placidly enough. AVc felt our way gradually ;
and found that in business, as in other thines. j
r-iion is i be letter nart of valor. Wa 1w.
came known at the end of the second year amon gst self tempted and menaced turns; and sur
thc trade ; and, before the end of our third year, rounded by lost characters and dead reputations,
we actually possessed two real cats, and I'm I fancied I had got into a Chamber of Commercial
afraid to say how many hats and coats : besides j
bein" acknowledged throughout the length of j
Honeysuckle lane, as rising and safe young
I think it was about this time that we started
a small horse and a light cart -just the patient,
meek animal that would not object to go in a gig
on Sunday, if requested to do so. But with the
increase of our business came a growth of vigor
ous cares and anxieties, that semed to spring up
like jjxh. wcecb'. Our first rk came in with
the gooseberries, about June. "William took it
philosophically. A few bad debts, a customer or
two iu the Gazette ; but, on striking our periodi
cal balances, we became quite reconciled to the
frowns of Fortune.
Gooseberries had gone out. Apples were in.
It was iu one of the blandest months of autumn
that we were favored with an extensive order
considering our then status from a stylish per
son, Verging on the flashy, but still within the
bounds ofappnrent respectability-. We were, of
course, giad to do business. The terms were
agreed on ; one month's credit and no discount.
The affair seemed all Hut settled, when William
hinted that, perhaps our new friend, leing a per
fect stranger, would not object to give us a refer
ence. Certainly not quite proper not the
least objection owed endless apologies for not
having been the first to suggest it. The reference
was given, and we start cd,wellsntisfied with each
other. The reference was a man who had pur
chased and paid cash for several parcels of our
goods, so that the newly-ordered articles were
sent to the neighborhood of Kensington with a
feeling that we had perhaps been a little too
straight-laced and particular in the transaction.
A perfect gentlemen really.
When the month's credit had expired, and our
customer called to settle the account with a bag
of bright shining sovereigns, I did oc' lna we
had been over nice. But when pleasant gcntle
nienly person that he was he chatted about the
weather, the hard times, and the crops", throwing
in here and there a little flattery of our liberal and
punctual mode of doing business, and the excel
lence of our goods, I suffered the remorse of the
basest intrigue. After our patron had dashed off
a few more pleasant remarks about the expansion
of the Colonial trade and the tightness of the mon
ey market, he turned to business again, and de
delighted us with a commission for treble the
amount of the previous transaction. The goods
were put in hand forthwith delivery having
been promised within a day or two and our
warerooms became quite exhilarated with the
warmth and bustle of that extensive order.
I can hardly rememl'cr how it first occurred
to ine; but when the pangs of conscience for our
unjust suspicions had time to subside, the idea
flashed across my mind that our customer spor
ted too many rings on his fingers, and that there
emanated from him too strong and stale an odor
of bad tobacco for Mm to be a thorough man of
business. Mere misgiving arose at length to
grave doubt. This I mentioned, as a matter of
course, to William, who, though not quite think
ing with nif, agreed that a little caution would
employed. ?. the amount of the order
wa serious consideration to us.
We were novices hi the police of the commer
cial world ; nd, being Utterly at a loss how to
proceed, 1 stepped over the way to a sturdy Man
chester warehouseman, and begged his advice
how to proceed with prudent secrecy. Our neigh
bor at once relieved a good part of my anxiety by
telling me that I ought at once to enrol our firm
subscribers to Perry's Bankrupt and Insolvent
Registry office, where we should be certain to ob
tain the fullest and most valuable information
regarding all .sustccted or improper charac
ters. I took down the address ; and, without paus
ing to tell William my mission, made my way
directly to King's Anus Buildings, Change Al
ley. 1 had been through the Alky hundreds of
times ; yet had never caught sight of this office.
Even now that I went in search of it in broad
mid-day, it was no such easy matter to find it.
Turning .-harp round that corner of the paved
court whieh is graced by dozens of gaudy frames
enclosing pieturvs of enormous mansions, with
parks, fish ponds, and a lady gracefidly leaping
a six-barred gate, on a thorough herd hunter with
a neck like the middle arch of London Bridge
(which I in my early daj-s believed were the ac
tual representations of the many fine properties
advertised for sale at Garraway's close by,) I
found myself ascending a wide, dark and dingy
The strange old edifice abounded in lofty orna
mented ceilings, carved wainscots, and heavy
creaking doors. Once it had been a City Hotel ;
and when I turned in tluough the wide folding
(V.o-3 ana lookea about me, I saw th. r
meat had been, in days long past, a concert and
ball room. How changed since then ! The lit
tle raised orchestra was piled up with dusty re
cords of insolvency ; the iiddles and fifes were re
placed by files of the London Gazette and reports
of police cases. The sounds of mirth and revelry
were exchanged for a word or two murmured
through that enormous old room from one of
the few clerks, as though they proceeded from a
defunct or smothered trombone. The whole
place appeared gloomy and mysterious. An en
closure warded off all visitors from the interior.
From one end to the other nothing was visible
but books solid, grubby, hard-fisted books.
They looked frowning solemnly down upon me
like the condemned ranks in Dante's Inferno,
bidding me take warning ; or winked at me, as
if to lure me on to knavery, from miles of shelves.
Thev heckoned to me hideously from acres of ta-
Mes. Puckering up their parchment lronts, or .
Im - nino - unon me their forbidden backs, I felt my"- ;
Horrors, or an Old Bailey with all its sentences
ruthlessly docketed, and ready to be put in force j
at a minute's notice by the Recorder himself,
who stood beside me, calmly waiting to execute
And his clerks, how solemnly they went about
their work ! stealthily, suspiciously as if they I
expected to find runaway bankrupts hidden be-
tween the leaves of the ledgers. How they kept
moving about from one solid book to the other !
wy,- tuakiDg a scratcLi ?r a waik ia some pae ;
then entering a note in a memorandoni i.k.
And I watched them until I began to thhkfthat
they might be unhappy insolvents, placet iiithis
Basinghall Street Penitentiary, to expiate certain
offences against the commercial code by jhc con
templation of ponderous loads of debt which they
werc unable to bear. Then I wondered Mother
the Sybilline Books could have been aiylhing
like those they were slaving at ; for, if tY.jy were,
I didn't wonder 'at the Roman king not liling the
look of them. I
In the midst of these reveries I was Rro?v by
a mild "voice at mj-tridc'Tcqitcrrrn-to kftnv i.vy
pleasure. An elderly, placid-looking mantes
before me clad in black, with waistcoat button!
close to his chin. A single glance convince! r.o
that he was the person I wanted : aud lj wis
right, lie was the principal of the establishment ;
the Recorder. My errand was soon told, aid as
readily apprehended ; lor, when I liihted tiat I
thought the affair I had came about would ccn
sion some difficult and troublesome inquirus, he
smiled, and assurred me that he had dozeis of
inquiries far more complicated than mine, aiiost
daily, since his registry was first opened brty
odd years ago. . ;'
Had he been so long engaged in that.pajicu
lar occupation ? Yes, he commenced his egis
try office so long since as the year one thousand
tight hundred aud ten, when business we not
conducted to a tithe the extent it is now and
when there was not nearly the same neussity
fbr protection to the honest trader against svind
lers and reckless dealers ; for that was the (bjvet
of his institution. )
Leading me inside the railing and withn flie
long range of tables and desks, he assure! me
that, so erfect were all the arrangement con
nected with his business, that not a single '
ruptcy, insolvency, or composition with crditors
occurred ; not a single commercial frau. had
been committed, nor one isolated case of .rind
ling since one thousand eight hundred ai ten,
which was not to lie found duly recorded axl in
dexed with all particulars in his look.
Were those the records ofmis. rt uue and raud?
I pointed to a vast collection of ponderous omes
spread along three 'or four massive tables. O no !
those thirty-five huge volumes, of a thousatl pa
ges each, formed simply the Index to Mr. E-rry's
general sets of books.
To give ine some idea of the extent and sstcm
of his business, he flung open one of thescjjigan
tic volumes. It j-awncd, and creaked, aixgroan
ed, as if it had been a bankrupt taken h execu
tion. Such an array of Jones and Br'avns and
Smiths as were digested within I neve before
witnessed. The Post office Directory is the me
rest child's spelling lxxk beside these prvligious
alphabets. Page after page contained lothing
but William Browns and George Greens, and as
fbr the Smiths, I thought the man neyr would
leave off turning the pages cf Smiths ovei. There
were upwards of five hundred John Smith. ; more
than three hundred William Smiths, a lost of
George Smiths, to say nothing of Alfred Sniths,
Benjamin Smiths, Charles Smiths, David Sniths,
Edward Smiths, Francis Smiths, Henry Sniths,
and armies of more Smiths, whose Christian
names were initiated by every other letter it the
alphabet. Then came the Smiths with a uifer
ence (a good many of them aliases) suci as
Smithes, Siiiytlis, and Smythes. I felt quite be
wildered amidst all this crowd of names, and was
at once impressed with the wonderful power of
this one man by the aid of his enormous books.
He need not have told me that those indices
were never removed trom their tables; lor. not
only was there no room on any shelf to receive
them; but I could see no machinery by vhich
such masses of hide and paper could be lifted to
any distance; as to the clerks attempting to shift
any of them, that was simply absurd. I could
but wonder what would become of them in the
event of a fire, and began to reckon how many of
Ilickford's largest wagons would have been requi
red to remove them at two tons to the load.
In the strange excitement of the moment, I en
tirely forgot the business which brought ine to
his office; and, absorled in the bewilderment of
ledgers, gazettes, and police reports, I followed
iny informant to another part of the room. He
paused Kfore a deep, well-filled recess topoint out
tn nm a rii""1"1" rC tlm TmDerial Gazettes, be
ginning with the first nnm,,.,- nq nri,lKi f n
ford during the Great Plague. Further on were
perfect sets of all ths Post Office, London and
Provincial Directories that had ever been publish
ed. Every city in the United Kingdom that pub
lishes a periodical list of its inhabitants was there
rcprescnteil, as well as many of the continental
capitaLs. On several tables at the remote end of
the room , beyond the abandoned old orchestra,
were ranged books more enormous than any I had
j-et seen voluminous monstrosities. They were
old newspapers strongly lound, and used as day
books of a peculiar description for a particular
purpose. On the right hand side of each of the
wide leaves of these volumes was pasted, day by
day, every police case involving a fraud on a
tradesmen, or a mal-practice connected-in any
way with trade. The immense collection I there
saw was a proof of the enormous extent of cur
rent swindling, even in these uays oi viguant po
To satisfy my curiosity, Ir. Perry pointed out,
on the face of each of these cases, a number, which
indicated the volume and folio where every one of
them were iKsted up into his criminal ledger with
as much regularity as a banker's cash book. And
here he begged me to observe that, although it
funned his duty to obtain and classify infonnation
throughout the country, regarding trading and
other defaulters for the purpose of protecting the
interests of commerce ; yet a very large number
of those who came under his notice were persons
of irreproachable character. It was his chief ob-
ject to classify all bankrupts and insolvents ; and,
by keeping a record of the honest and dishonest
bankrupt, to put the fair dealer on his guard
against the one, and when in his power, to befriend
and maintain the character of the other.
I was anxious to see and understand how all
tliis could be 'accomplished w ith such a mass of
crude materials, and with the certainty of which
he spoke. Mr. Perry explained. Opening one of
the many volumes before me number one hun
dred and thirty-seven, only I there saw .rcgi
nrents of columns of various widths ruled from
one side to the other. These columns were a com
plete key to each person's character Imd career.
His nane al.resideiec at different, times ; the
various years in which he had become bankmpt
or insolvent ; the amount of dividend, if any, and
if all of each dividend had Ijeen paid ; the cldss of
certificate granted, if any ; the particulars of any
fraud with w hich he may have been connected,
referred to by a marke of direction to the exact
page in the Criminal Ledger, and thence to the
Police Case Book, with any fict'.iious names by
which he may have "been knovn.
He had that day, he said, put a tradesman on
his guard against a reckless character, who had
thrice made very unsuccessful appearances in the
Court of Bnnkruptcy ; having paid somewhere
irl the provinces but one dividend of ninepence
in the pound ; and who had, at Colchester, seven
years ago' made away with his creditors' proter
ty, and appropriated the proceeds to his own 'nil
lawfull purposes. The man was now at Glasgow
at his old tricks ; but Mr. Perry's faithful records
warned his Scotch subscriber of the character of
his customer in time to save him a heavy loss.
This reminded me of my own affair; and with
out further delay, 1 gave my guide, comforter and
friend all the particulars ; the name, address pro
fessed business, amout of of order, name and ad
dress to reference, and some other items of in
telligence respecting our jewelled and fumigated
patron. Away went the Recorder like a very
vigilant cat after a mouse; scratching and bur
rowing, and tumbling, and tossing, and ticking
off endless indexes, ledgers, day-books, gazettes,
Criminal Ledgers, and Police Books. These re-
searches wc.e made with such a bright pair of
spectacles, that in a few minutes my attention
was directed to the whole history of our customer
drawn up in one long line of words, letters and fig
ures, and stretching quite across two pages of vol
ume number one hundred and thirty-seven.
It was evidently a bad case. . The real 'name
of" the party" was pointed out ; he had given us
one of his favorite aliases, lie had been, accor
ding to Ir. Perry's detective ledger, a clerk in the
Post Office, was discharged for dishonesty which
could not be legally proved, had been in the Ga
zette in one thousand fight hundred and forty
one, and again in one thousand eight hundred forty-eight,
his entire est ite nnd t"cCt . sufficing to ,
oiler to his creditors exactly nothing in the iound.
He had been insolvent more than once, av made
his second bow to the Comtiiissr .tiers for the Re
lief of Insolvent Debtors on the very day before!
he obliged us with his first order. He hadleen
according to the Police Book, concerned in a cloud
of swindling transactions, chiefly comprised un
der the head of obtaining money or goods under
false pretences; but had always proved himself
" too many" for the .swindled, for the police, and
for the magistracy. I thanked my informant sin
cerely, and congratulated myself on our fortunate
escape. " Yet why," I asked, " did he pay for
the first order V Ah, a lure ; a bait ; a sprat to
catch a whale.
I of course enrolled our firm amongst the sub
scribers to the institution, aud found our names
coining after no fewer than twelve thousand oth
ers, bankers, merchants, solicitors, traders,
agents, secretaries of public companies, and,
strange to say, clergymen ! What could clergy
men want Mr. Perry to do for them ? - I felt puz
zled, and wondered if they were ever troubled with ,
insolvent churchwardens, bankmpt vestry clerks,
or fraudulent sextons. He explained that clergy
men, of all other classes, need the most advice and
protection in money-matters, lhey are so easily
misled, so little acquainted with the most onlina
ry businesss transact ions, themoney -lending shar
pers always found them the easiest and readiest
of their dupes.
0nl)r a week or two ago a curate from the vicin
ity of the metropolis had sought Mr. Perry's assis
tance in what was by no means an uncommon
sixty or seventy pounds for some immediate
purpose, answered one of the many tempting ad
vertisements in the newspapers, wherein the pub
lic are iufonncd that loans of money to any
amount will be granted on the slightest possible
security. He had an interview with the very lib
eral advertiser, at what appeared to be an office,
in d quiet of street. The most minute inquiries
were made iu regard to the the clergyman's refer
ences, great caution having been professed by the
capitalist ; and, when all the pretended scruples
were quieted, the borrower was told that seventy
pounds was much too insignificant a sum for peo
ple of the enormous capital which the lender had
at command to think of ; but that if the borrower
would make it two hundred, or even one hundred,
or even or.fc hundred f.nd fifty, the transaction
might be effected. The clergyman hesitated ;
but at length yielded, and placed his name to a
bill at short date for one hundred and fifty pounds.
He could of course repay the amount when it sui
ted him. The financier left his victim to bring
the money ; but, in the course of ten minutes, re
turned with a very long face ; and, pointing to a
sheet of paper in his hand quite bathed in iuk,
told him with many expressions of regret that he
had accidentally upset his inkstand over the doc
ument, and would have to trouble him to sign a
fresh paper. The clergyman made no objection.
The inky paper was burnt before him, and anoth
er bill for a hundred and fifty pounds was signed.
Again the capitalist left the acceptor anxiously
waiting for the money ; but neither man nor mon
ey was -.rthcomii';
At the date of maturity, the distressed curat e
was called upon to meet two bills amounting to
gether to the sum of three hundred pounds.
Chancing to hear of the Bankrupt Register Office,
the victim sought, the advice of Mr. Perry ; who,
without any difficulty traced out the swindler
and his confederates' complete identification ;gave
him their history, and sent him to a respectable
solicitor; who, by dint of threats of exposure,
succeeded in obtaining peaceable possession of the
bills. This Mr. Perry assured me was only one
out of iuumerable cases of a similar character.
Before taking my leave bf this Registrar-General
f lTusdc-etls "and Tiitfifbrtune, t learned that as
subscribers to his establishment we were entitled
to receive every week a copy of a paicr printed for
circulation amongst his clients, and called the
Bankrupt and Insolvent Gazette: a periodical
whieh has now attained its twenty-ninth year.
In it arc chronicled not only every event of the
previous week connected with bankruptcy and
insolvency, but every meeting or official occur
rence happening during the week v'hig in eve
ry part of the United Kingdom.
I joined my brother full of the news I had gath
ered, and we both congratulated ourselves on the
narrow escape wc had Lad. Our customer did
not inquire for his gooods ; and we learnt shortly
afterwards taht he had left his premises rather
suddenly, forgetting to settle many heavy ac
counts, and altogether omitting to mention, to a
single neighbor where he might be found.
On other occasions w- hve consulted our friend
of King's Arms Buildings, and always with sat
isfactory results. Sometimes suspicions we en
tertained of new customers were hpVily dissipa.
ted by Mr. Perry. Gentlemen have sent us or
ders soon after we knew the' had undergone
bankruptcy, but our Registrar General was able
to give us, notwithstanding, a good account of
them. The- had paid handsome dividends
promptly and honorably, receiving from the court
first-class certificates.
We never think of entering upon any new bus
iness without a walk up to the great oldfasliioned
concert room, and a gossip with the genius of the
place. We could not conduct our business in safe
ty, enlaging as it constantly is, without his aid.
That respected and useful person has become to
us what he is to half trading London, and a good
part of the provinces a daily necessary of com
mercial life.
Recollections of Isaac T. Hopper.
Upon one occasion, Friend Hopper went into the
Court of Chancery in Dublin, and kept his hat on,
according to Quaker custom. While he was lis
tening to the pleading, he noticed that a person
who sat near the Chancellor fixed his eyes upon
him with a very stern expression. This attracted
the attention of lawyers and sjectators, who also
began to look at him. Presently an officer tapped
him on the shoulder, and said, " your hat, sir !"
"Whdt's the matter with my hat?" he in
quired. "Take it off!' rejoined the officer. "You are
in his Majesty's Court of Chancery."
" That is an honor I reserve for his Majesty's
Master," he replied. " Perhaps it is my shoes
thou meanest ?"
The officer seemed embarrassed, but said no
more ; and when the Friend had stayed as long
as he felt inclined, he quietly withdrew.
One day, when he was walking with a lawyer
in Dublin, they passed the Lord Lieutenant's cas
tle. He expressed a ish to see the Council Cham
ber, but was informed that it was not open to
strangers. " I have a mind tojro and try,"' said
he to his companion. " Wilt thou go with
44 No, indeed," he replied ; 44 and I would advise
you not to go."
lie marched in, however, with his broad beaver
on, and found the Lord Lieutenant surrounded by
a number of jrcntlemeu. 44 1 am an American,"
said he. 44 1 have heard a great deal about the
Lord Lieutenant's castle, and if it will give no of
fence, I should like very much to see it."
His lordship seemed surprised by this uncere
monious introduction, but he smiled, and said to
his servant, "Show this American whatever he
wishes to see."
where he saw pictures, statues, ancient annor,
antique coin, and many other curious articles.
At parting, the master of the mansion was ex
tremely polite, aud gave him much interesting in
formation on a variety of topics. AVheii lie rejoin
ed his companion, who had agreed to wait for him
at some appointed place, he was met with the in
quiry, 44 Well, what luck ?"
44 O, the Lest luck in the world," he replied.
" 1 was treated with great politeness."
44 Well, certainly, Mr. Hopper, you are an ex
traordinary man," responded the lawyer. "I
wouldn't have" ventured to try such an experi
ment." i
At the expiration of four months, having com
pleted the business which rendered his presence
in Ireland necessary, he made a short visit to Eng
land, on his way home. There also his hat was
objected to on several occasions. While in Bris
tol, he asked permission to look at the interior of
the Cathedral. He had been looking about some
little time, when a rough-looking man said to him
in a very surly tone, 44 Take off your hat, sir !"
He replied very courteously, 44 1 have asked per
mission to enter here to gratify my curiosity as a
stranger. I hope it is no offence."
44 Take off your hat i" rejoined the rude man.
44 If you don't, I'll take it Off for you."
Friend Hopper leaned ort his cane, locked him
full in the face, and answered very coolly, " If thou '
dost, I hope thou wilt send it to my lodgings ; for
I shall have need of it this afternoon. 1 lodge at
No. 23 Lower Cicscmt , Cliftoa." Tk I'lc Ivs-
The man stared at him, as if puzzled to decide
whether he was talking to an insane person or not.
When the imper titrable (.linker Jiad seen all he
cared to see, lie deliberately walked away.
At Westminster he paid the customary foe of
two shillings and sixpence for admission. Th?
doorkeeper fo!!owed him, saying, "You must un
cover yourself, sir."
"Uncover myself!" exclaimed the Friend, with
an affectation of ignorant simplicity. 44 What
dosf, thou mean ? Must I take off my coat ?"
44 Your coat ?" responded the man, smiling.
"No, indeed ; I mean your lu t."
"And what should! take off my hat for ?" lie
44 Because -ou arc in a church, sr," answered
the d 001 keeper.
" I see no church here," rejoined the Quaker.
4 'Perhaps thou meanest the house where the
church assembles. I suppose Ihou art aware that
'tis the jjcoph', not the buiUins, that constitutes
a church !"
The idea seemed new to the man, but he mere
ly ifp'-Rtld, 44 You must take off your hat,
But tile Friend again inquired, 44 What for ?
On account of these images ? Thou knowest
Scripture commands us not to worship graven
i in ages."
The man persisted in saying that no person
could lc permitted to puss through the church
without uncovering his head. 44 A Yell, friend,"
rejoined Isaac, " I have some conscientious scru
ples on that subject ; so give me back my money,
and 1 will go out."
The reverential habits of the doorkeeper were
not quite strong enough to compel him to that sa
crifice ; and he walked away without saying any
thing more on the eubject.
AYhen Trieud Hopper visited thellouseof Lords,
he asked the scrgeant-at-aruis if he might sit upon
the throne, lie replied, "Xo, sir No one but
his Majesty sits there."
44 AV herein does his Majesty differ from other
men ?" inquired ho. 44 If his head were cutoff,
wouldn't he die ?"
44 Certainly he would,," replied the officer.
44 So would an American,' rejoined Friend Hop
per. As he sjoke, he stepped up to the gilded
railing that surrounded the throne, and tried to
open the gate. The officer told him it was lock
ed. 44 A Veil, won't the same key that locked it
unlock it ?" inquired he. 44 Is this the key hang
ing here ?"
Being informed that it was, he took it down and
unlocked the gate. He removed the satin covering
from the throne,-carefully dusted the railing with
his handkerchief, before he hung the satin over it;
and then seated himself in the royal chair.
" A Yell," said he, 44 d I look anything like Ids
Majesty V
The man seemed embarrassed, but smiled as he
answered, 14 AVhy, sir, you certainly fill the tlirone
very respectably."
There were several r.o' .lemen in the room, who
4eemed to be extremely amused by these unusual
An Erroneous Notion.
An old farmer by the name of Elnathan Skin
ner, had 4 a place" near Montpelier, A'air-mouut.
He was an awful sprj- man himself and expected
everybody to be likewise. Now the old gentle
man had a son, a 3 011th he was. If lie was not
quite sd brisk in his muscles as the old gentle
man, he wis at least a foot or two ahead in wit.
The old man was deatli on the pale horse on rou
sing up .vcrybody about day-break every morn
ing ; and oi;e morning when his heir apparent
son was is soggy as a piece of lead, the old man
bawls out, for tlie tenth time
44 Oh-h-h, Sam !"
44 Sir-r-r?"s
44 Are yon, I say, are you
44 No, dad, I atVt !"
44 Are you goin to get up ?"
44 Couldn't think of it, dad, possibly," roars the
sonorous voice of Sam.
44 Don't you know, you scamp, how your
brother Bill lias been up and shot a whole mess
of pigcoiis ?" exclaims the old man.
44 Ygs, dlid," responds the hox.ful, " I heard all
that. dad. but only look w hat a darned set of fools
them pigeons were, to git up nPjrc Dill, and be
lick.d up jest like salt I"
Sam turned over and went to sleep worse than
ever, and the old man toddled off, rowing Sam
knowed a he. p to much for a child of his age !
EC?" They have sonic odd specimens of the gen us
homo "out in AYisconsin," if we majr trust the
report of a correspondent at Madison, in that
Uoruishing State i
44 An anecdote is related of a somewhat noted
politician hereabout, who was at one time a can
didate for Judge of the Circuit Court. A gentle
man inquired of another if he intended to support
the candidate in question.
44 No," said he, 44 never ! Ill never vote for ii
man for circuit judge who spells God with a small
i '"
A capital 44 J" would probably have removed
his objection.
CI? A couple of hod carriers lately fought a du
el at San Francisco. Cause, jealousy ; weapons,
pickaxes ; distance, a yard and a half- The third
round, Molloncy got his head caved in, while hia
antaguoist had'a prong introduced in the thorax.
The seconds took along hand barrows to bring
away the remains.
vy How very seldom it happens," said one
friend to another, 44 that wc find editors bred to
the business."
44 Very," replied the other, 44 and have you not
remarked hew seldom the business is bread to the