11
"VE GO WILCir DESCZULTIC PSIKCIFLES POINT THE WAT VITSIf THET CZASB TO LEAD, "V72 CEASE TO FOLLOW."
VOLME IS.
EBENSBMO, THURSDAY, JANUARY 6, 1853.
NUMBER 11.
5f
T Kit 31 S.
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All letters and communications to insure
ttiUition must be poet paid. A. J. 1111EY
A FrtgliteneU Chinaman.
The Sun fraucisco Herald, in describing a
Ite fire, describes the following amusing scene :
Mr. Ifossefross finding it impossible, from
the intense heat, to get his pipes to work in the
rear, determined to smother the flames for a mo
Dfi.t in that quarter, by blowing up a portion
cf the building. The sansome truck was at
hand with the necessary sapping and mining
niter;a!s. Mr. Hossefross adjusted a charge of
twenty-five pounds, applied the fuse, and was
just on the point tf igniting it when a grief-torn
CiiiiuiGiin, whose property was suffering, rush
ed into the building to save all Le could. Mr.
Hoefross tried every expedient to warn hiai
of his d inner, but not speaking Chinese, was
compelled to eject him forcibly. The poor fol
low pulled his pigtail distractedly, and rushed
into the house acrain and strain.
Mr. H. finally
pointed to the.match, the fuse, and the powder. ',
&ai imitating the noise of an explosion, at list j
nle the Chinamen understml what was going ;
en. As soon as the ilea struck him, he cleared
, , , , , . i
the door at a bound, and sped up the street, h.s :
Vril and breeches flying in the breeze, on the
wires of fear. When latt seen, just previous to ?
the explosion, he was bounding up the embank- f
meet hi i:ie neai oi Sacramento street. .Mr.
H.'s eipe'lient was successful, and taking ad
vantage cf the momentary cessation cf the heat
behind, ke planted his pipe, and the gallant fire
men soon held their own, and gradually gained
tontrol over the flames."
Statistics or (lie Presidential Election.
The New York Journal of Commerce says the
big vote at the recent election is greater than
t any previous one ; though the gain over 184S
only 11,GS9 ; 71,2'.2 over 1814, aud 99,592
ever 1810. The Democratic vote is 365,216
greater th.-n in 1818 ; 240,598 greater than in
144, and 4jS,478 greater than in 1810. The
abolition vote is 130,880 less than in 181S and
S3 T.'.t. rrrn.itnr. 41..... ;.. 1QI 1
Vermont is the banner State on the Whig side,
s is New York on the Democratic ; the latter
tavine riven I'iorc'p a rliir:il:tv of 27.2ii0. and a
ajority over both whig and abolition of 1830.
Cut in proportion to the whole number of votes
polled, Texas is the banner State on the demo
cratic side, having given nearly three times as
sany to Tierce as to Scott. Georgia comes
-fit, having given Tierce mere than twice as
cJiy as Scott ; then Arkansas and Florida.
II rM;
east plurality in any State is 25 in Dela
te for Pierce. The States polling the high
est aggregate vote, are New York, 522,480 ;
fcnnsvlvania. SAG. 272 : Ohio. 53.303. The
3
'aie polling fewest votes is Florida 7,1G1.
Etlaware pnmps nt 1 r.fi;V
The largest abolition vote given by any State
1S -1,782 in Ohio. Next comes Massachusetts
28,023, and New Yrrk with 25,433. In
fr"T ortion to the whole number of votes, Ver
toLtis the greatest hot-bed of abolitionism.
CUIogue on Smoking.
"No, ir.y dear Mr. Smashpipes, I am sure you
lfe ruining your health, smoking and smoking
jcu doail the time. I never saw anything like
in my life." "Bless me, my love, what's the
tatter now ? You talk as if you never saw a
c:gar before !" "No, I do not mean that, but I
fully tlfiuk you do carry i t to excess." "Why,
"Tenty-fivc or thirty 1" "That's all.V "My
Kars anl ga iters ! And you don't call that
poking to excess?" "No." "Well, Mr.
"-aashj.ipcs, perhaps you'll tell me what you do
nsijer smoking to excess ?" "Certainly, my
ore." ii'm v,c: ii t
- :uiug. en, x iuiuk u man.
t3? be said to smoke too much when " "Well,
aut !" "Why, when he smokes two cisars at
cace. i
5,Soon after the late V
lir. Hcaley, the artist, waited UDon Gen. S.
solicited him to sit for his nortrait. U9
clary 0f expressions of his a aS
4fame ar.J t.f ymeBts, .uMye foT
and
lujto the xNortli Jirud Lim j,; eral Leftrd
eaid:
.Vaai- .-i.e had n,vr many "V' wl country; one womd have
prompts. ziave or.. . . .
Idl Jon..Sn04
- v.cu gut.- Via -verv
ttS t , ue straighten "sir,
Til -sMIv PVJ mind tw '
that L.-.aa
TIIK DEATH Of.TIIE OLD YE All.
BT GEO. D. PRESTIGE.
List ! list ! what foarful tone waa that which
rose
Upon the wind of midnight ? Nature sounds
No knell o'er earth for the departed year,'
Yet wheu its iast breath passed into the void
Of the by-gone eternity, I heard
Echoed within the chambers of my soul
A sound, perchance the shadow of a sound,
Wild, strange and disai il, as it were a wail,
A low and blended wail, from all the graves
And sepulchres of ocean and of earth
Upon the stilly air. Oh was it not
The solemn voice of old Eternity "
Uttering one cry, one wild and deep lament,
For Lis dead child !
The year, alas ! is gone
Forever from the world ! He seemed too strong,
Too mighty e'er to die. Jle laid his hand
On breathing millious, and they sank beneath
The green grass of the grave , he blew aloud
The trumpet-blast of battle, and dark hosts
Met in the mortal shock, and when the llama
And smoke of conflict had gone by, they lay
Like autumn's red leaves on the plain ; he pas
sed O' cr earth, and, at each, wave of his broad
wings,
Volcano, earthquake, whirlwind, storm, and
flood
Sprang up beneath the silcat spell and wrought
The fearful errands of their destiny ;
Yet now Lis own great mission done, he lies
On scorched and broken pinions with the dead,
There, there to eleep.
What is Time ?
A giaiit power, stern, vatt, and bodiless.
That we may feel but never see. We gaze
With achinc eves into the past, and there
t We see a thousand shapes of light and gloom
Floating like atonin in the pallid beams
Of mournful memory, but the perished yea
' Is all unseen. From thence we Badly turn,
And. gating on the future, we behold
Unf.;thonied OCC)tn to tl;e lomlj s'hore
Of earthly being, but the coming years
Are all invisible. And then we pause
gHze above' "f1' V1 arJ 1o,!
Our ves tire startled bv the mighty deeds
of thJ ow pasK;njC t'e . the irou e5ht
Of his stem presence rts upon our souls ;
We feel the awful spwtre touch our brows
""K1 eoM ietb-rike finger; "and we hear
ltie aeep an.l in uled ror that rise
! ana u:u4ea ror that rises up
From ali his ia:ghty doings on our earth ;
And j'ft he La no form to cast its ?;leara
Or ehadow on our Bigb.
The parted ye..r
Called forth from earth a blooming Taradise
Of sweet spring-tiowcrs he wtved hia Ritumn
wand
And they were not. lie woke in human pouls
Myriads of hopes and jiys and burning loves, -Tlint
sct-nied like things of immortality
He touched them aud they died. Another year, i
The tft of God, is cast bi-tieath the skies,' !
And what is dukly hidden in the still i
Aud i!ent depths of its uiysterious months, - !
We may not know tha.uk God, we may not
know,
We only know that with each passing month
And lay and hour, the low, deep wail of grief,
The iaa 1 lene 1 ery of agoiiy, the shout
Of fierco ambition, th- loul thunder shock
Of bloody cmSict, m.I the knell of death
Will echo, ench, in one brief moment o'er
The sea of time, and then be swallowed up
And lost forever in the onward sweep
Of its unpitying waves.
The midnight skies
Are weeping silent tears as if they grieved ,
For the old y. ar, and the pale stars look sad
And trem!e, as if living, sorrowing hearts
Were throbbing in their breasts. In vain! in
vain !
The faded year is nothing now. The flowers,
The bird.-, the waves, the thousand melodies
Of vernal life aod nature will come back,
Dut ha roturti3 no more. The winds may search
For him iu their far journcyings ; the grand
Old ocean with its thunder tones may call
Forever to him in its ceaseless dash
Deneath the heavens; the bright and burning
stars
With their, high tones of Eden minstrelsy
May speak his name ia their eternal sweep
Along their flaming paths ; the comets wild
May seek him by the baleful blai e they spread
Through realms of aucient night ; but none of
these
Shall ever find him, for he liveth not
In all the universe of God. Years die,
And centuries die, and there will come a day
When the dread angel of the Apocalypse,
Standing on land aud sea, will lift his hand
Aud swear that time shall be no more.
Yet thou,
Oh man, wilt never die. The earth will pass
Like a wild dream away, the very heavens
lie rolled together as a scroll, but lie.
Beneath whose feet the sun and stars are dust,
Hath said that thou shall never die. Those
great
And awful words of the Omnipotent
Are caught up and re-echoed to thy soul
By all the world of nature. A deep voice, .
That tells thee of thy immortality,
Speaks in the breeze and in the hurricane ;
Blends with the gentle music of the stream,
The loud rush of th.iAract, the peal
From the darUfJosota oi tlfe clouu, ana au
The i''tftCT mvstic auetcs of night,
l&tkA $th the e easting roar
-TDeep iQirpic unrfet and swells
TTbVthe Btcr3 arouuVt, idnight throne.
Sun-by ti e 85,i
York TandV, Raiir0ad, as all
- thr0UgU .lin& wUJ d
runs iu
.i.;WBeUed country;
n-
-i tixat tbfe cars -wcrey to lose their
Q
' i -nder about tbrouV wilderness.
I hae " r however, m" r of cars star-
vray, ...-r. that a,0 Rtfir.
i it i -o v.tj last '
,le t from New York,
.
peor" tfrom
r Dunkirk,
From the Harrisburg Keystone.
Commerce and Finance.
THE CURRENCY AND THE TARIFF.
When the immortal Adam Sm rriuia ScotlandL
and the illustrious Say, in France, first laid
open to view the sources and means cf national
wealth and prosperity, they did not expect the
truths they unfolded to find acceptance in the
Old World for many long years. They knew
that it was wedded to its idols ; and they saw
that it had cherished its commercial errors, and
practised its financial abuses so long, that they
had at last become necessary to the vcTy exis
tence of the social state, and could not be eradi
cated without a total revolution in the very
frame-work of society.
But they turned to the Model Republic uf the
West, then being peopled by strong-minded men,
busily engaged in upbuilding a new social and
commercial system, trying ail things, and hold
ing fast those which were good, as the land of
hope and promise. There they hoped to see their
great ideas realized, and to behold the Young
World teaching the Old the direct road to na
tional wealth, comfort and well-being. Little
did they dream that here, separated by a vast
and fctorray ocean from the errors of our Fath
erlands, 'a great party would rise up, whose ob
ject it would bo to infuse into our political sys
tem those out-worn and exploded errors respec
ting the currency and the taritF, which have
made Spain poor, with Mexico and Peru at her
back, and which have sadly impeded the pro
gress cf Borne of the proudest nations of Eu
rope. And yet it is even so. The whig party claims
I
past, it lives m a p
t. It lives in a past age, and ever upholds ,
institutions which have lagged f r behind the
wants of the present tin e. Hence its adv cacy
of a high protective tariff and an inflated cur
rency. The chief argument of the whig party, and
the one which it addresses to the great masses
of consumers ia favor of protection, is that a
high tariff proves quite as effectual rs free trade
in the redaction of prices : that home competi
tion will eventually bring down prices to their
lowest possible rate. Now, if the cost of our
labor and capital is such that we can produce as
low at hjme as can be done abroad, what no d
is there of protection? But if we can. import
an article cluapcr than we can province it at
home, why not do S3, and invest our land, labor
and capital in that which will vield us a better i
return ? Vii can raise pine upplcs ia hot-hou-
ses, in grefit perfection, at double the cost of
those imnorted. But h who raises his own i
pine-applfs, instead of importing tuem, really I
pays for each one the price of two ; for his la
bor otherwise directed in agriculture, would
furnish him with the means of buying two.
But, rejoin our whig friends, we want a pro-
tective tariff to build up our infant manufic-
tures, which will thus in a few years become
self-sustaining. To which it mny well be an
swered, you have abundant protection for this
purpose already in our revenue tariff. As the
individual States levy a direct tax to sustain the
State governments, so the United States, to sup
port the federal government levies an indirect
tax upon all consumers of imported goods, in
the shape of a tariff which tax is paid by tbc
importer to the custom-house, by the wholesale
jobber to the importer, by the retailer to the
jobber, and in the end by the consumer to the
retailer ; the tax in eacli sale being included in
the price of the article. This revenue tax or
tariff, mainly levied on the import of goods now
manufactured in this country, amounts to over
$50,000,000 annually. Is not this sufficient
protection ? A manufacture which could not
plant itself under such aasplces, would be a
curse to any country.
The true policy, alike dictated by nature, and
confirmed by the teachings of political econemy,
is for each country to produce those articles for
which it is most specially adapted by producing
which, its land, capital and labor will receive
the fullest possible return. And in such a com
petition we would have nothing to fear. We
have vast mountains of iron ore, the purest in
the world. We have t c finest and most im
mense water power known ; while our soil yields,
in close proximity, the products necessary for the
loom. We have great prairies, on which tne
sun sets as on the sea, whose virgin soil will re
pay tho husbandmen a thousand-fold for centu
ries to come. We have a great valley, in itself
a world, veined by ten thousand streams, af
fording nnbouuded facilities to our internal
trade. We people a continent so little disjoined
by nature, that you could construct a railroad
without n inclined plane, from Philadelphia to
San Francisco ; a continent situated in the very
commercial centre of the world, and which is
destined to become the great highway of nations
over which shall pass to our ancestral Europe
th teas and epices of the "barbaric East." All
to be the conservative party cf this country ' tective tariff, with its accompanying imaginary
and to make good its boast, it has ever prided advantages pf checking importations, keeping
itself in keeping as far behind the age as pos- j specie ia the country, and turning the balance
sible. It resists every great measure designed j of trade in eur faver, is right and expedient, we
for the general good. Distrusting whatever is ( claim that its policy with regard to the curren
new, however trua and useful, it cvir reverses I cy contitdicts its tariff policy ; that its financial
and sustains whatevei is old, however false and policy Umds to increase importations, hurry
feeble. It is prc-emineutly the party of the i specie ot of the .country, and turn the balance
we need in order to fully realize these Tich bles
sings, is a government which shall leave free
scope' for individual enterprise, and which
shall rot,- by . means of tariffs, endeavor
lo. hviWji sickly, manufacturing system up
on the ruins of a healthy and vigorous com
merce. .
But we must bear in mind that the whig par
ty, ownel and controlled chiefly by capitalists
and cottln lords, really wantsa high tariff, not
for the siuie of low, but of high prices, whereby
the profits of the manufacturer may be augmen
ted by lils monopoly of the home market. Y'et
even here it 13 mistaken. 'Under certain cir
cumstances a high tariff may temporarily raise
prices exorbitantly. But there is a great natu
ral law--the law of supply and demand which
proves an effectual limitation. So soon as the
supply f an article much exceeds the demand,
the mar: et will be glutted and its price will fall.
This wiV discourage the production of that ar
ticle, wh?rt by in time the demand will exceed
the suppV,-, and its price will rise. Such is the
case with Dour and wheat, whoso price is on a
perpetual see-saw. Such is the case with the
wiudow-jlass makers along the Monongahela
river, of whom we have been told that during
every ten years one-half of them break up, while
the other half made their fortunes. And such
is the cajo with the iron interest, which having
been for a long time too much depressed, is just
now unduly exalted. It ha3 been depressed
chiefly because two tons of metal were made
where one was needed; and it is now exalted
because the demand has great outgrown iho lim-
i lteu supply.
I But even Allowing the whig party that a pro-
of tra.ZeJaot effectually agamsi m.
The financial policy of the democratic party
is well known. Knowing the currency to be a
good sertant, but a dangerous master, it endea
vors to keep it under strict control. ; It views
with, jealosy the too great multiplication of
banks, tlose niirMnea for artificially, making
mencycieap by issuing-their bills, and then
making ii dear by withdrawing their notes from
circulatioi; thus bafSing' the acutest foresight,
and often causing the severest commercial dis
tress. I. has hence ever advocated the policy
of bavina a fpecie currency to circulate from
band to lund in the community, so that labor
may be sire of receiving its just due reserving
bauk bills of high denominations only for large
conimercul transactions, and to circulate among
I. .' i ... i :
those wliosre aoie to ocar me .oss
tably atterds the use of paper money. It holds
as a truth attested by ail fact and all history,
that mone; is as much of a commodity as soap
' tea, derving its cheif value from its being
the chief hstrrment of exchange and transfer,
without wlich no extwded commerce were pos
sible ; and that it3 value is determined, like that
of every obcr commodity, by the law of supply
! an i lnanl : 60 that trben q,5tIty is les'
! eened mcT becomes dearer, of it is given
for any artcle, or in otner woras, pneca jati.
To the revirse, wheu the amount of the curren
cy is increised bcyon-l the demands of an in
creased commerce, money becomes cheaper, and
more of it fe given for any article ; or, what is
the same ding, prices rise. Thus, a bushel of
wheat is wirth now four times a much epecie
as it was ftar )undred years ago not because
the intrinsic viue of wheat is greater now, but
because the vrit influx of silver and gold from
Mexico and T-'ru has caused them to fall to one
fourth of ther former value. Acting upon this
truth, it has ever been the democratic policy to
confine the ourreucy to specie, with bo much pa
per money as will suffice to supply tic wants of
extending c jnmerce.
The whig financial policy is just the reverse.
Mistaking tie quantity of a currency for its val
ve, it strive to multiply banks and paper money
as much aspossible. It endeavors to make bank
notes of lw denominations almost the sole cir
culating riedium. Discarding specie as the sole
basis of tanking, it advocates the use of State
stocks fxd even of real estate, both of very un
certain alue, at banking capital. To make it
popular it calls thi3 system free banking. Free
swindling, would be a much more" appropriate
name, as we fchall presently see. Follow it out
to its full extent, and you have a paper curren
cy doubling or trebling in value all the real es
tate and State stocks in the Union.
Now what is the result of such a policy as
this ! Money will inevitably becomo plenty and
cheap. Trices of goods will rise, not because
their intrinsic value is become greater, but be
cause money is so much cheaper. Vast fortunes
will spring up in a night, like mushrooms,
through tho universal rise in prices. Specula
tion will be aroused. Tho most absurd schemes
will be blindly rushed into by pien who hope la
zily to win fortunes in a day, instead of building
them up by frugality and perseverance in a life
time. Under the influence of the general ex
citement, prices rise until it becomes immensely
profitable, in rpile of a high tariff, to import goods
from those countries Where a specie-basis cur
rency has kept them at a fair price. Importa
tions are immense. All goes well until the day
of payment arrives, when it is found that our
paper money will not pass current beyond-the
Atlantic. Our specie, rendered 6iirperfluous by
the superabundance of paper money goes abroad
to pay our debts. Then confidence is shaken.
A general run is made upon the banks, whose
coffers, arc found not to have a dollar in
them wherewith to redeem their paper,
while their books show thousands of dollars,
lent to speculators, lost forever. The bub
ble bursts, and universal distress and ruin en
sue. The capitalist of yesterday suddenly finds
himself reduced to the level of the laborer of
to-day. The widow and the orphan are sudden
ly burled from competence into destitution.
Thi3 is no fancy sketch. It is every word
true. It is but a history of the great financial
convulsion of 1837. That great calamity was a
legitimate result of whig policy and whig legis
lation. We have now performed our promise of show
ing how completely whig policy on the currency,
stultifies whig policy on the tariff. Our task is
done. We have not now time to notice farther
the multitude of errors our whig friends teach
in relation to these kindred topics. Their name
is legion. Those we have noticed are probably
the most important. On them tho truth or false
hood of the reet depends. The voice of tho
people ha3 lately rolled in thunder tones from
the granito hills of New Hampshire, to tho mag
nolia groves of Alabama, in condemnation of
them. Never again can the whig party triumph,
so long as its commercial and financial policy
remains unchanged. It must cast down its old
idols, marshal under new banners, clothe itself
in new armor, and enlist under new leaders, be
fore it can ever go forth again to battle and to
victory. a pennstlvasiax.
Benjamin Fraukllu's Letter to a Young
WOXUM.U.
The Boston Tost gives five copies of unpub
lished letters from Dr. Franklin, which have re
cently been found in that city. The following
one seems to hav been addressed to a lady with
whom he was on intimate terms previous to his
marriage, and who was still single at that time :
"rhiladelpkia, Oct. 1C, 1755.
"Dear Katt, Your favor of tho 18th Juno
came to hand, but on the 23d September, just
three months after it wa written. I had two
weeks before written you a long chat, and sent
It to the care of your brother Ward. I hear
you are now in Boston, gay and lovely as usual.
Let me give you somo fatherly advice. Kill no
more pidgeons than you can eat; be a good girl,
and don't forget your catechibm ; go constantly
to meeting or to church till you get a good hus
band ; and then stay at home and nurse the
children, and live like a Christian. Spend your
spare hour in sober whibt, prayers, or learning
to cipher. .
You must practise addition to your husband's
estate by industry and fruglity subtraction of
all unnecessary expenses. Multiplication he
will soon make you master of. As to dvnsion, I
gay with brother Paul, 'Let there be no division
tmong ye,' but as your good siBter Hubbard
(my love to her) i well acquainted with the
rule of two, I hope you will become as expert in
the rule of three, that when I have again the
pleasure of peeing you, 1 may find you, like my
TUe vine surrounded with clusters, plump, jui
cv. bWuiiig, pretty little rogues, just like their
mamma. Auieu, tne oeu rsuea, u iuu 6w
among the grave ones, and Uik politics.
B. F."
If r.nything comes nearer to the imploration
of Ruth to Naomi, than the subjoined, we have
not 6een it:
'Lord, bless and preserve that dear person
whom Thou haet chosen to be my huBband ; let
his life be long and blessed, comfortable and
holy ; and let me also bcoroe a great blessing
and a comfort unto Lim, a bharer in alibis joys,
a refreshment in all Lii aorrows, a meet helper
for him in all the accidents and changes in all
the world ; mako me amiable for ever in his eyes,
and for ever dear to hhn. Unite hia heart unto
me in the dearest love and holiness, and mine to
him in all sweetness, charity and compliance.
Keep me from all ungentleuess, all discontented
nces, and unreasonableness of passion and hu
mor; and make me humble aud obedient, useful
and observant, that we may delight in each oth
er according to Thy blessed word, and both of us
may rejoice in Thee, haiug our portion in the
love and Bcrvico of God for ever."
A Model Speech.
The following is an extract from a speech cf
Gen. Buncomb in favor of 64 40 North and
155 40 South:
"Mr. Speaker When I open my eyes and look
over this vast expanse of country ; when I see
how, the years of freedom has caused it to rise
ia the scale of civilization, and expand on either
side ; wheu 1 see it growing, swelling, roaring
like a spring freshet ; I cannot resist the idea,
sir, that the day will come when this great na
tion, like a young school boy, will burst its
straps, and become entirely too big for its boots.
Sir, we want elbow room, the continent, the en
tire continent, and nothing but the continent,
nl we will have it. Then shall Uncle Sam.
placing his hat upon the Canadas, rest his right
arm upon the Oregon coast, hU left upon the
eastern seaboard w hittle away the British power
while reposing his leg iike a freeman upon Cape
Horn. Sir, the day will come, the day must
come.
MnrkedDoun.
''Mornin', squire," quoth a Cape- CoJ
ish looking genius, as Le nulled into a largo
flash dry goods store on Washington street,
one morning this week j " got a pooty good
lot of things in here."
" Yes sir," sajs a frizzle-headed clerk,
one of those whose complexion exhibit
strong symptoms of " boarding house di
et," a dearth of fresh air and exercise; and
a ghostly profusion of starched linen, soap
and hair grease; " what shall I sell you to
day, sir?"
" "Well, fir, I was tellin' on the old wo
man afore I left hum, ef I could trade to
please myself, I'd buy Ler some stuff for a
gown, and myself a pair of trowsers."
"Well, sir, if we can't sell to you, I'll
stake the reputation of our house that you
can't be suhed in this city !" says frizael
head.
"I want to know! Then just let us se
some of yeur stuffs."
In course of half an hour's pulling dowa
and overhauling, frizzle head had "the
goods" cut and rolled up, and they wcra
under the arms of a specimen of the human
family, about as storically disposed and
physically constructed as the man who waa
supposed to but the bull off the battery.
" Can'fc I sell you something else to-day
sir V says frizzle.
Guess not," says Cape Cod, "I'll corn
arin when 1 want afresh mess of stuff.
My name'd Jenkins, Jo&iah Jenkins; jiat
mark down these things, and may be afora
Christmas 1 II Le in and see about em.
" Sir ?" inquiringly responds frizila
head.
"Jenkins mark 'em down."
" I dou't comprehend you, sir."
" Don't ? Come round here," says Cape
Cod, leading frizzle out to the door, where,
placing his bony, big forefinger upon a
large placard, says he, " what's that ? Do
you calkelate Cape folks can't read nor
not bin'? Goods marked down! Mark
thepe down I've got; when I come in agin,
we'll see about em."
Whether the clerk was trying to se
through the fog of the fact, or whether ha
was stunned by the "marked intelligence"
of a Cape Coder, we know not; but when
the clerk looked around the customer wai
liuUdoicn.
A Yankee lad, who had concluded to
take a few lessons in the art of dancing, so
that he might astonish the 'gals' when he
returned home, applied to one of the cele
brated French dancing masters of the city.
" How much duyew ax a lesson ?" ask
ed he of the teacher.
"Ze first will be only four dollar, ze sec
ond two dollar, and ze Crd One dollar," tu
the answer.
" Just so," Paid he ; " well, I guess I'll
commence with the third, as I can't stay
intown long."
A Frenchman Ileulixisr uis WJf.
A man named Couscoussou, was lately
tridby the Tribunal of Correctional Police,
for having beaten Madame Couscoussou,
his wife;
" It appears that you thrashed her with
great brutality what haTe you got to say
for yourself?" ashed tho President.
"Pray, Tdr. Fresideut, if your wife
wouldn't let you carry aa umbrella, what
would you do !
"Oh, the monster I oh, the brigand!
chimed in madarue Coucoussou.
. ' What he says there is not true, Mr.
President. He waa drunk whea he beal
me."
"Who doesn't get drunk now and then?"
asked M. Coucousisou.
" But you get drunk always' answered
the wife.
" And, Mr. President, when he's drunk
he insi&ts on going to bed with his boot
on, and with his umbrella that is hi
character."
" I wear my boots in bed to keep my
feet warm," observed the accused.
" I don't so much object," said the wife,
"to the boota, though they arc dirty and
tear the sheets, but I do object to the um
brella. Think of a wet umbrella in bed,
Mr. President."
" It is in the wetness of the umbrella
related the husband, " that I find my ex
cuse. A prudent man is never without his
umbrella when it rains; and as it was rain
ing when I went to bed, I took it with
me."
"Oh, you drunkard!" shrieked Madams
Coucoussou. " But I appeal to all women
present," she continued, turning round to
the auditory, "if it be pleasant to bo in
bed with a damp umbrella?"
" It was raining, I tell you, and I was
afraid that I might have dreamt that I was
getting wet and as I have a great antipa
thy to water I took my umbrella with m
a3 a precaution."
" Yes, and you beat m when I wanted
to remove it from bed." T
Tho ' Tribunal cut this diseussicfcHhort
by condemning M. Coucoussoto tw'd day
i c p r i ? an xe e n t . 7 Frm e Iapr .
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