j6
r-
1 WE GO WHERE DEilOCEATIC FEINCIPLES POINT THE WAY WHEJI THEY CXA1X TO LEAD, WE OEASE TO POLLOW."
VOLUME VHI.
EBEKSfiilG, THURSDAY, MAY 6, 18-52.
29.
T K It 31 S.
The "XOUXTAIX SEXTJXEL" is publish
ed every Thursday morning, at One Dollar and
',f:u Cfnts per annum, if paid in advance or
vitbiu three months ; after three mouths Tu o
Vullari will be charged.
So subscription w ill be taken for a shorter
period than six months ; and no paper will be
fjiseontiuued u,,til all arrearages are paid. A
tViluro to notify a discontinuance at the expira
tion of the term subscribed for, will be consid
ered us u new entrapment.
tA- -l I) VERTISEMEXTS will be inserted
at the following rates: 50 cents per square for
the first insertion ; 75 cents for two insertions ;
1 for three insertions ; and 20 cents per square
or every subsequent insertion. A liberal reduc
tion made to those who advertise by the year.
Ul advertisements handed in must have the
croner number of insertions marked thereon,
or they will be published until forbidden, aud
charged iu accordance with the above terms.
2S3UA11 letters and communications to insure
Attention must be post pit id. A. J. RIIE1 .
a """T
TUeClxlld and the Mourners.
BY CHARLES J1ACKAY
A little child, beneath a tree,
Sat and chaunted merrily
4 little song, a pleasant song,
Which was she s:ing it all day long
.When the wind blows, the blossoms fall,
But a good God reigns over all."
There passed a lady by the war,
Moaning in the face of day,
There were tears upon her cheek,
Grief in her heart, too great to speak;
Her husband died but yestcr morn,
And left her in the world forlorn.
She stopped and listened to the child,
That looked to Heaven, and singing smiled,
And saw not for her own despair,
Another lady young and fair,
Who also passing, stopped to hear
The infaut's anthem singing clear.
For she, but few sad days before,
J lad lost the only babe she bore,
And grief was heavy at her soul,
AS tnai sweci niemor o uci .uiv,
Aud showed how bright hal been the Tast,
The present drear and overcast.
And as they stood beneath the tree
Listening soothed and placidly,
A youtn came by, whose sunken eyes
Spake of a load of miseries ;
And he arrested like the twain,
Stopped to listen to the strain.
Death hath bowed the youthful head
Of his bride beloved, his bride unwed,
Her marriage robes were fitted on,
Her fair young face with blushes shone,
When the Destroyer smote her low,
And changed her lover's bliss to woe.
And these three listened to the song,
Silver-toned, and sweet, and strong,
Which that child, the live-long day,
Chaunted to itself at play
When the wind blows the blossoms fall,
T.ut a good Cfjd reigns over all."
The widow's lips impulsive moved,
The mother's grief though unreproved,
Softened as her trembling tongue
Repeated what the infant sung,
And the sad lover, with a start,
Conned it over in his heart.
And thongh the child if child it were
And not a seraph sitting there
Was seen no more the sorrowing three
Went on their way resignedly,
The song still ringing in their cars,
And oft in midst of grief and tears,
The strain recurred when sorrow grew,
To warn them and console them too,
"When the wind blows the blossoms fall,
But a good God reigns over all."
Riot at St. Louis.
tJLater accounts from St. Louis, state tha:
the ouly person killed at the recent riots, was
young Stevens, of the St. Louis Fire Company.
The number of gun-shot wounds did not exceed
eight or ten. The St. Louis Intelligencer says:
The only additional names of the wounded,
learned yesterday, arc James Collins of thePluje
nir Fire Company, and Doctor Moses of the Mis
souri. Mr. Collins we learn was shot rear
the corner of Seventh and Cerre streets, between
one a nd two o'clock yesterday morning. He
was returning with a small party of friends,
from the fire at the corner of Seventh and Gra
tion streets, and was fired upon from a house,
without having given the slighest provacation.
The member of the Missouri mentioned, was
Enot at the First Ward polls on Monday after
ternoon, and is dangerously wounded in the
arm, face amj t,reast jre is now lying in a
critical condition, at his boarding iiousc on Olive,
between Second and Third streets.
t 'was also reported on the street, yesterday,
"t Mrs. Neheineyer, who was sick and in bed
nen her house was fired, had since died, and
her infant child, only three or four days
cl(l? was also dead. This, like the report of the
attack upon Dr. . McDowell's College, and the
mass meeting of the Germans in the First Ward
yesterday, j6 without foundation. "We hare not
the
space to go on and contradict all the idle
mors a"oat ; suffice it to say, one may believe
lesi than half he hears, and then not arrive at
l"e truth."
The man who climbed a freshly peeled, forty
ect high poplar pole, and then drew the pole
fter him, has been engaged by the Schcnec
circus company to ride a switch tailed
, hesnnt tree round the ring, without
el"Tllps.
Paul Dougherty' Dinner In High Life.
In that beautiful city called Cork, dwelt, some
twenty years ago, a snuff and tobacco manufac
turer named Paul Dougherty, who had lately
turned to that trade, having become too advan
ced in life to follow his former profession of
Teacher of dancing, and all other kinds of mu
sic, wherein he had acquired a good share of
celebrity.
He was a plain, homely man ; rather large
iu his person, very oddly dressed, and so wed
ded to old times and old habits, that it was im
possible to get him to look like a Christian, as
poor Mrs. Dougherty used to say (rest her soul
in glory) when she would wish him to lay aside
his bush wig, his old ruffles, and his three corn
ered hat, all of which contributed in small de
gree to the grotesqueness of his appearance.
Dut these little oddities had pleasing associa
tions for Mr. Dougherty's recollections as he
put them on religiously every day, and seated
himself on the pipe chest facing the shop door,
humming "Nora Creina," in a pleasing drone
like growl, while he kept time with his heels
swinging against the side of the chest, as they
hung down but did touch the flags of the shop
Uoor. Mrs. Dougherty, good soul, minded the shop
scolded the kitchen wench, abused the cow boy,
mended the stockings, and, in short, did every
thing to please Mr. Dougherty, who scarcely
minded any thing but his corns when his custo
mers came in.
One forenoon, as Paul was seated on his favor
ite chest, and Mrs. Dougherty was washing the
breakfast tackle in a little glory -hole of the shop,
a tall, elderly gentleman came in and asked to
see Mr. Dougherty.
'Well, sur," says Taul, stopping short his
tune of "Nora Creina" with a sudden grunt as
turned his head side-ways and squinted at t the
new comer, "and so you wanted to see Mr.
Dougherty, eur ?"
"Yes." was the reply.
"Id's likely you don't know him ?' continued
Paul.
"I have not that pleasure yet," replied the
gentleman.
"Pleasure aisy ; now avick," says Taul,
"sure isn't id myself your talking to all the
time."
"Are you Mr. Daugherty?"
"Faix ! an' snre lam; ban in' I was chang'd
at nurse."
'I am very happy to see you. Mr. Dougherty.
My name is Beamton ; I live on the Parade."
"I'm proud of id ; it's often I heerd tell ov
ye, and I know yon're come of mighty grand
people entirely ; but I be so bowld as to ax you
what business you have wid your humble sar
vin't,'' inquired Faul.
"Business ! oh, none whatever. I am only
come to pay my respects to you. I am under
many compliments to a son of yours whom I
met in Paris," answered Mr. B.
"You did not, indeed, sur, 'tis ampossible ;
Tom's iu France at present."
"Well, well," said the gentleman, "it makes
no difference ; it's all the same."'
"How the puck could it be all the same, sur,'
urged Paul ; "faith, I beg your pardon, you're
quite mistaken. Ha'n't I Tom's jog-graphy,
and is'n't Faris at the fut of the Kimmeary Isl
ands at the back ov the gulph of Mexico, while
France is a small Tillage in the island of Medi
terranean in the sea of Marimachy in South
Amcricky ; ow, wow ! may be ean't tell the lat
itude and longitude afther thravellin' all the
way from Bristol to Wathcrford."
"Well, we won't fall out about that ; but at
all events you have a son named Tom," said
Mr. B.
"By my faith, I have ; that's his name sure
ly," replied Paul.
"Well," continued Mr. B., "I met him abroad,
where he saved my life, and was so kind and at
tentive to me that I wish to return the compli
ment to you in any way that lies in my power."
"And ye saw Tom, sur, abroad ?" asked Paul,
and turning to his wife said, aside, "anaugh,
Betty throw by them Kimmens, and cum epake
to this gintleman, sure he seen Tom abroad. Is
Tom as fat as he was whin he went, sur ?"
"I don't know," answered Mr. B., "I did not
see him before ; but he looks remarkably well
at present."
"I'll be bound Tom was axia' you a good deal
abont the crop of pratees that he finished before
he wint," said Paul.
"I can't say he was," returned the gentleman.
"It was as my physician that he attended me."
"Tom's a clever chap," said Paul, "he'd pick
up anything. Here, Betty, dust that chair, and
let the jintleman sit down. Sit down, eur, sit
down; and so Tom's gettin' lusty, sur. D'ye
think he'll fall into flesh. lie takes afther the
mother's side."
"Excuse me for not sitting down," said Mr.
B., "my time is limited. I should be delighted
to tell you all about your son, and will be able
to give you a good deal of pleasing news of him
if you will do me the favor of dining with me
to-day." -
"Troth, sure, an' to be plain wid you, I'd ra
ther at home," Baid Paul.
"Oh, Mr. Dougherty," exclaimed the gentle
man, "you shall make yourself quite at home
with me. 'Pon my honor, yon shall ; you must
come."
"Wrhat time do you dine, sur ?" asked Faul.J
"At six o'clock."
"Oh ! I couldn't go," exclaimed Taul ; "I'd
niver howld out until that. I never get my din
ner later than two o'clock. Blur an' nouns !
sure, a man ought to be going to bed at six.
Was it from Tom you lamed such outlandish
hours ? By Gor ! when he was at home he
wouldn't be done his breakfast till he'd be goiu'
to bed, though he used to begin whin he'd get
up. He commonly made but one meal a day,
but it lasted from mornin' till night."
"Indeed, Mr. Dougherty, I'll take no ex
cuse ; you must come and dine at six,
Mr. B."
urged
"Ahaugh Betty, do ya hear that ?'' said Paul
to his wife.
"Go, Paul, avick, itmaysaive Tom," said
Betty.
"Faith, an' may be so," answered Taul.
"Well, sur, as you wont be put olf, I'll go and
dine wid you at six."
"Well, good bye ; I will expect punctually ;
farewell "
And here Mr. Beam ton made his bow and with
drew. Bnt as the subsequent part of our narra
tive cannot be given in the third person, we
must leave it to Mr. Dougherty himself to de
scribe the entertainment of the evening. We
have taken some pains to give his own words,
verbatim, which are as follows :
"Whin 'Squire Benmton left the house, by
gor I wint and brushed up my duds, and black
ened my pumps, and put on my buckles ; but
theminit two o'clock kem I thought the stomach
would fall out ov me wid the hunger. How.
somedever, sez I, I'll bear everything for Tom's
sake, so I passed it over as well as I could, an'
thought every hour in the day that it was six,
an' time for mcself to be off, for I had a mile ov
ground tu walk to the parade. So I tuck my
cane an' my gloves, and sauntered away very
leisurely till I kem to the parade, an as I bad
the number of the door, I reckoned upon my
fingers, an' know'd I could make no mistake.
Whin 1 had counted the steps I looked up, an'
divil a finer house an' place ever I laid mv
two good-looking eyes upon than 'Squire
lieamton's, wid a hall door big enough
for a bishop, an' the full ov yer first ov a
brass rapper on it, not to talk ov a beautiful
brass plate with an illegcnt big B, an' an E af
ther it, an' thin an A, an' thin an M making
Beam. Right, by gor ' sez I, this is the place
an' I lifted uy the big brass rapper an' give a
pound that 'ud drive a twenty-penny nail to the
head. Prison tly the door was opened mighty
smart an" a jintleman wid a green coat an' pow
dered head, an' bundles of goold strings from
his shoulders, and red breeches, an' white stock
ings axed mcself very snappishly entirely,
did I want to knock down the house ?' "
"No, sir, in troth thin," sez I, "tisut mcself
that would hurt a hair ov its head."
"Thin what do ye want," sez he, mighty
era pa.
"Why thin, in troth, it's Mr. Beamton I want,
eays I.
Ye can't see him," sez he, slappin' the door
in my face.
Blur an' turf, sez I to mcself, isn't this migh
ty dacent treatment. Well, afther wnitin' a
while, I thought I'd try again for Tom's sake,
not to talk of the starvation that's in my stom
ach this minit, on account of keeping my appe
tite for the jintleman's dinner that he promised
to give me. So I give another rap, an' the
same jintleman opened the door ngin ; ho looked
mighty wicked, but afore ho had time to say a
word, sez I
"I ax yer riverence's pardon but isn't this
Misthcr Boamton's an' sure he axed me to dine
with him, an' sure this is square threatm'mt."
"What's yer name, sur," sez he, mighty po
lite. "Paul Dougherty," sez I, takin' off my hat
and showing him my manners. '
"I beg yer pardon, sir," sez he ; "come in av
ye plaze."
So he bowed and scraped twice as low as I
did, showing me the way in, all the time. Whin
he sut the door, sez he
"Will you show me your hat, sir ?"
"Indade an' I will, an' welcome, sir," sez I
"it was made by Beahan, in Patrick street, and.
cost but fifteen shillings : a very dacent man if
you want to buy one."
"Och 1 sure," sez he, "ye mistake me intirely;
I only wanted ye to give me yer hat."
"Give it to you ?" sez I, "be gor that is too
bad Would ye have me go home in the night
without my hat ?"
"Och I sur, ye mitsake me I only want to
put by yer hat till ye go home."
"The divil thrust ye," sez I ; "what 'ud make
me give yo my hat at all, at all. Can't I take
care of it meself?"
Sez he "Every jintleman that dines here
gives me his hat to take care ov."
Well, yc see the fellow was so persuadin' that
there was no getting over it. So, sez I Och j
very well, plaze yer riverence, put it in a clane
place."
So he tuk and put it by.
"I'll thank ye for yer cane, sur," se2 another
jintleman, as I passed him by. . . .
'What for ?" sez I.
"To put it by for ye, as we do for etery other
jiutleman," sei he.
"Very well," sex I, hanuiu' him the cane like
an omhadnun fool as I was.
"I'll take care or yer gloves, sur," sez a third
catching1 them by the fingers.
. "Bbv ru' ouns ! can't I put 'em in my pock
et Viz L - - - ...
"Oh, no that's not the way we do in this
house," sez he
Well, thought I, I must bear it all for Tom's
sake. So I followed the first gentlemen, who
beconed myself afther him up 6tairs on a green
carpet that you wouldn't hear the tread ov yer
fut on. So I stuck quite close to Lim till we
got to the top, and he steps over to a door and
flings it open, crying out at the top ov his voice,
"Misther Dougherty !"
"What the divil do ye want wid me?" says I,
in a voice aiqual to hie "didn't ye know well
enough that I was jiet at yer heels!"
But be niver minded me, an' walked into the
room another step or two, an roars out 'Misther
Dougherty !' twice as loud as before.
"Bad luck to yer impidence, ye thievin' raa
cal!"sezl is it for this ye made me lave my
stick below ? Ye were afeard I'd give ye the
length and breadth of it ; don't yc see me here
ye spalpeen ?' sez I, threatenin' my fist at him;
but he was only laughin' at me. In a minit out
comes 'Squire Beamton
"Ye're heartily welcome, sur,' sci he; 'I hope
nothing is the matter wid ye."
"Thank ye kindly, sur not much, only the
liberty this jintleman tuk wid my name," sez I.
But the 'Squiro only laughed, an' takin' me
under his arm brough me forninet a whole par
cel of la die, who wer stuifin' their prashkeeus
down their throats to smother the laugh the min
it they saw myself.
Sarveut, genteels,' sez I, in rale quality form,
bowing down to the ground.
"This is Misther Dougherty,' sez his honor,
takin' my hand an' bowiu' again along wid me.
"God save all here,' sez I, not forgetting my
manners, to give my third an 1 last bow ; but the
qur.iity only nodded to myself, which I thought
mighty impolite. But in troth, thought I to my
self, the crathers are not to be blamed whin they
niver tik lessons from the renowed and celebra
ted Paul Dougherty, teacher of dancing and all
other linds of music.
So tie squire made me sit down, and it was
then t be sure that I admired the beautiful pic
thers an" tapots full of flowers, and carpets, but
the uivil a sign of dinner myself saw, tho' I
thought the very guts would fall out ov me with
hunger. 'Oh ! Tom, Tom,' sis I to myself, 'isn't
this purty threatment I'm suflVring for your
sake, but there whs no use in' complaining, and
I turned to look at the beautiful windee curtains
at the top ov which two sarpints were peeping
out, foremost one another, ready to prounce
down upon us, when I hears the same fellow
that brought me up stairs roar out dinner on the'
table, and upon looking about devil a sign ov a
table vas there but what had been whipped a-
way by enchantment, and there stood the din
ner in a white table cloth os beautiful as a corp'e i
at a wake.
Ail the ladies and gentlemen did presently
stood up, ov course so did myself.
"Mist'uer Dougherty?" sez the Squire.
"Sir,' sez I.
"WL1 you take Mrs. Bcamton by the hand ?"
sez he.
"What call have I to take her hand, sir," sez
I, 'can't yer's that's her husband, and has the
best right to it take it, sir.'
"Do, sir, if you please,' sez he, 'for wc are on
ly gcin' to dinner, I only ak you to lead her to
a chair."
"Deed, faith,' sez I,' I barm to oblige you for
a short time, 'tis contrary to my religion to do
the likes to any man's wife ;' and my own alive
but they fell to laughiu' as I tuk Mrs. Beamton
by the hand and led her to the table, where eve
ry one was taking places.
"Mistbcr Dougherty,' sez the 'inquire, 'will
you sit beside me ?"
"Faith, then, that I will, sir," sez I.
"What shall I help you to ?" sez he.
"Some of that pork, sir," sez I.
"Its not pork," sez he, 'its ham.'
"Well, ham is pork, sir," sez I; for be gor I
didn't like them to have all the laughin' to them
selves. "You'r right sir," sez he, sending me a plate
full ov it, well bolstered in cabbage, and faith I
stuck into it like a hungry hawk.
"Misther Dougherty, sez the 'Squire.
"Sur,' sez I, laying down my knife and fork
in my plate and looking at his honor.
"I hope you are helped to your liking.
"Mighty well, I tha but devil a plate I had,
for the thieven villian in the red breeches had
stolen away my plate, while I was speaking to
his honor. 'Oh murther! murthcr!' sez 1 to
myself, 'isn't this fine threatment I'm bearing
for your sake, Tom,' but before I could say
another word a black faced fellow ov them, clap
ped a dish full of chopped nettles before me, and
I, seeing I could do no betthcr, began botling it
into me, when he runs back and whips it up,
saying - - -
"Oh, by your leave, the mistress wants some
spinach," and off he scampered with it. :
"Mibther DougLttry," the 'Squire.
' Sur," k I.
"Th uiinthreea is loken tt you," t?z be.
' She' welcome, sur," bc- I. i
"fihe'g loeken at you," tt he, laying bio hT l
on the decanter.
"liiur an' nouns," sez I, 'hit"s auii8 wil
me V lookfcu round tt my clothes to see if all my,
buttons were fast.
"Oh, she only wtuiU to tko wine with you,"
&z he.
"Thank you aud her,' soi I.
"Your health, sur,' sez she.
"God bless your own pretty countenance,
madam," sez I. But bad luck to the more thn
a thimble full the btlngy fellow was alter put
tiiig in her glass.
"Blur an' nouns !" eez I to myself, 'he helps
her as he likes her, may be,' and I pitied the
creature. So I watched my opportunity and
when I thought he wasn't looken I nodded to her
and pointed to the decanter, liften up my glass
at the same time, which she understood, for she
6iuiled aud helped herself ; but she was so much
afeard ov him that divil a uore than a tooth-full
she put in it in spite of all the nods and winks I
could throw at her, and pointing to my full glass.
"Thunder and turf," sez I, thinking of Betty at
the same time, 'hasn't he her undher great con
trol entirely," and while this was all goeu on,
the sarrah morsel the fellows behind the chairs
left on the table, but what they whipped away
with them.
"Oh, ye villans,' see I in my teeth, finding I
was put off with a mouthful of dinner. "Oh,
ye villians ! If I had ye iu my tobacco press,
may be I'd give you a squeeze that would put
the conceit out of yez ;' but there was no use in
talking. Up they came as impudent as ever,
and placed furntnst each one of us a great glass
bowl half full of wather with a towel beside it,
and myself not knowing what they meant at all
at all, was watching to see what every one else
would do wheu the 'Squire sez to me
"Mither Dougherty."
'Sur,' sez I.
"Make use of the wtLer," se he. Hill c get
at the claret.'
"Yes sur,' t-ez I.
I tuk up the bowl betwane my twohnnds, and
throwin' myself back in the chair with my mouth
wide open, gulphin the whole of the wather down
in one swaller, till it filled me up to the chin,
tho there was not the full o tux egg shell in my
body before, barrin' the thritie ov boiled nettles
I got at by chance.
Och, mavourneen! the cold wather began to
give me such a it almost gives me the eholic
to think ov it now ; but such arumblin' an' grum
blin', an' ehiverin an' shakiu', that heartily as
the 'Squire and the ladies laughed at me, the
sorra a wrinkle was in my stomach. So, sez I
to tho 'Squire in a pig's whisper
"I'm fairly done over ; you must excuse me
Squire, jewel, for goin' off, but I'm in a morth
al great hurry, and there's no back doors for
me so I must be gone as quick as I can. Oh,
Tom ! Tom ! what I suffereJ for your sake I
"Vis, but there is," 6ez he, whispering behind
his hand to me.
"Och, no, mavourneen!" eez I, squeezing my )
guts and slinking down stairs as if I hadn't a
minute to live.
"Yer hat, sir," sez the first fellow I met at the 1
foot ov the stairs, giving it a nate twirl with tho
6leeve ov his coat.
"Thank ye, sir," sez I taking it from him.
"Hope ye won't forget me, sir we always get
a tenpeuny or two,' sez he.
"Och, murther !" eez I, drawing a tenpenny
like a tooth, from my breeches pocket. What I
suffered for your sake, Tom, honey : and here I
had to squeeze my guts again.
"Yer gloves, 6ir," sez another fellow 'they're
nioely aired; hope ye won't forget me.'
Och, Tom! Tom ! sez I, pulling out another
ten-penny aud giving it to him.
"Yer cane, sir," sez a third, handing it tome;
I tuk great care ov it ; hope ye wont forget me.'
Och, Tom ! Tom! eez I, groaning as I pulled
out a third tenpenny and gave it to him.
'Let me out now, jintleman, sez I, as they
opened the door, and bowe l and scraped enough
to make one think them the rale sort ; but the
divil fire me,veez I when I got on the flags, and
cooked round at the house as I heard the door
shut the divil fire me if ever I give half a
crowu for a mouthful of chopped nettles and a
bellyful of cowld water?
I not till too Trnr.
"The gay will laugh
When thou art gone, the solemn brood of care
Plod on, and each one as before will chase
His favorite phantom." Bryant
A few friends will go and bury us affection
will rear a stone, and plant a few flowers over
our grave in a brief period the little hillock
will be smoothed down, and the stone will fall
and neither friend nor stranger will be concern
cd to a 6k which of the forgotten millions of the
earth, was buried there. Every vestige that wc
ever lived upon earth will have vanished away
All the little memorials of our remembrance the
lock of hair encased in gold, or the portrait that
hung in our dwelling, will cease to have the
slightest value to any living being. -
Renouncing HchtUrttn.
The editor of the J?taurilU Journal, weiit to
another State, and took himself a wife. Ou hi
return home, and Jon the resuming the editorial
chair, he thus discourses :
"And iu announcing the fact of our return
home with a rib, it cannot refrain from cxnres
eing our profound ditgust of bachelorism and
bachelors and we expect to be disgusted with
both several wwit We re well aw.ru tbt in.
time gone by, we occasionally laa-Je ourselves
ridiculous in the eyes of sensible men, by up
holding the bachelor state as tla ouly life of
happiness, independauco, &u earthly glory.
But we were young and green then, and of course
knew but oue side of the subject. Now stand
up, here, you consumed ugly picters of human
ity, rejoicing in the name of bachelors, and an
swer us a few questions.
"What are you fit for in this world? What are
you doing for posterity? What interest Lavo
you in 'the generations yet unborn you read
of? Whore will you be when old men", if your
vile habits ever permit you to arrive at a good
old age? Won't you be like lonely, seard and
unscathed trees standing in a big clearing with
ut a companion, and your life unprotected from
the frosts by young saplings and shrubs iU your
feet ? Or won't you be like pumpkins in a corn
field, more prominent because of your prodigi
ous ugliness, than the ttalks at your side, ldeu
with golden grain ? Hold your heads up, and
talk like men, whether you can act so or not.
Now don't you feel ashamed of yourselves?
Look at the girls about you, all smiling and su
garhearts overflowing with love ready to be
spilling on the first good fellow that can touch
their sympathies feelings rich as cream, which
by a kindred spirit can soon be worked into
butter, and spread over your life tiil you are as
happy as the birds of spring. Look at 'em, and
feel the disgusting position you occupy in tho
cubbage garden of humanity ! What are you
holding back for? Now, just reform put on
your best looks and your other coat visit the
gills, ice cream them, talk to them prettily, drive
thorn, walk them, please them then propose,
get accepted, marry, and the country will
rely on you as a faithful and well disposed cit
izens." A Remarkable Man.
The Germantown (Ohio) Emporium, has an
obituary notice of Mr. John Schaffer who died
in that vicinity on the 24th of M.ush aged GO
years. The notice concludes with these surpri
sing etatemente :
The deoeaed was tho largest man that we
ever saw. The ooffin was sufficiently large to
contain five men of ordinary size ; measuring
in width three feet four inches in the clear, and
three feet in height. Three men hare worked
in it at the same time with convenience. It re
quired six men to take him from the bod on
which he expired. This was done by raiting a
platform removing the head-board of the bed-
steau, ana tatingiumout endwise. They oould
not get the coffin into the house, but by taking
off the docr-faciug of on old vacated house thai
stood in the yard, they got it into that, and car
ried the corpse thither in three empty bags.
A wagon and four horses stood prepared, and
ten men placed tho coffin into the grave, they
had two lines doubled one at each end, and
one large well-rope in the middle ; and seventeen
men to let down this syrinkle of mortality into
its last home on earth. His wehxht wan nnt
3 - ww
known.
Mount Vernon.
Tho Washington Ttlcgraph contains the fal
lowing extract from a letter to the Editor from
New York in relation to the rnrche of tho
Mount Verson estate :
"During the stay of the Baltic in rour rirpr
an incident occurred in which I am sure you will
feel agreeably interested. In a select company
the present sad and neglected condition of Mount
Vernon was spoken of, and a proposition was
made to purchase it, which was very promptly
hkcuku ij uj an prusenr. a. probabie price
was fixed upon, aud it was determined that a
company of eight or a dozen should unite in
tho purchase. W. W . Corcoran was to become
oue of the number, and so were Messrs. Thayer,
Wetmore, Appleton, and others. Abbott Law
rence was pledged by a friend present. Tho plan
is for this company to purchase the place, aud
to hold it permanently, permitting the gevcral
government to improve, adorn and beautify it,
and preserve it as a plaoe of public resort, un
der proper restrictions."
A Doctor a 1 a Doctor.
A self sufficient humbug who took up the bu
siness of a physician, aud pretended to a deep
knowledge of the healing art, was once called
to visit a young man afflicted with apoplexy.
Bolos gazed loug and hard, felt his pulse and
pocket, looked at his tongue aud his wife, and
finally gave vent to the following sublime opin
ion ; "I think he's a gone feller." "No, no !"
exclaimed the sorrowing wife, "do not say that"
"Yes," returned B0I09, lifting up his hat and
eyes heavenward at the same time, "yes I do so;
there arn't any hope, not the leastest mite ; be'a
got an attack of nihil fit in his lost frontis "
"Where ?" cried the started wife. "In his
lost frontis, and he can't be cured without some
trouble and a great deal of pains. You see his
whole planetary sy6teni is deranged, fustly, his
vox pepuly is press'm' on his advaloruin : sec
ondly, his cutacarpial cutaneous has swelled
considerably, if not more ; thirdly, and lastly,
his 6olar ribs are in a concussed .state and he
ain't got any moneyr consequently ho's bound
to die. . - -