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it
'WE GO WHERE DEMOCRATIC PRINCIPLES POINT THE WAY ; WHEN THEY CEASE TO LEAD, WE CEASE TO FOLLOW.
BY JOHN G. GIVEN
EBENSBURG, THURSDAY, JANUARY 17, 1850.
VOL. G. NO. 15.
If
ll J I l; II
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IV ll L
IVI I S O E L L A N S O U
.Harrying: "Em Over A;iisa;
OR, A JOKCR FORESTALLED.
- A HYMENEAL SKETCH.
Some time last summer, while canvas
sing the 'down east' States, Dodge need
we particularize what Dodge Ossian E.
Dodge, of course ran afoul of a young
gentleman quite noted for his off hand,
practical jokes, and having heard of
Dodge, our amateur joker made up his
mind that when and where he met the
extensively known and , thorough bred
wag, there would very probably be files
about and somebody's eye teeth would be
cut. When Dodge appeared in our ama
teur wit's diggings, he straightway went
to work to introduce himself to Dodge.
'I understand, sir,' says the amateur,
that you are not to be caught napping.
I've read and heard a great deal of your
practical joking, and though I don't pro
fess to be very smart that way, yet I've
made a bet with some of my friends, that
in less than six months I will show you
a new kink or two I intend to show you
the elephant!'
Ah, indeed!' says Dodge. Well, sir,
I'm tolerably conversant with that specie
of quadrupeds, having studied the anima
ted natur for sometime, but I shall always
be pleased to learn something new, altho'
I fear sir, that the crillur you mention
would hardly, with my experience, come
under the head of no$lty with me.
However, I don't want to damp your en
thusiasm, so you may figure up and fetch
along your entertainment whenever you
feel like it.'
The amateur made several small flirts
at Dodge during his stay in the amateur's
neighborhood, but his efforts scarcely
amounted to anything with a good 'nub
to it, and hence we shall not take any
pains to illustrate them. Time and Dodge
passed along, and by casually meeting
each other in other parts of the country, in
the vicinity of the city of notions, quite
an intimacy sprang up between the two
sawyers,' and finally one day, says the
amateur joker.
Mr. Dodge, I'm going to be married.'
STioh! you're joking!' says Dodge, po-
King his friend in the side with the butt
of that high-salutin cane of his.
Am I, though!' says the other, 'guess
not, it's all arranged the old man don't
like me, the young .lady does, and that
makes it all right you know we're going
to New York to-morrow evening; to be
there married the next day, and, if you
have nothing serious to prevent you, I
wish you to join a small and select party
of the young lady's friends and mine, and
go along.
Nothing would give me more pleasure,'
says DoJge, than to accompany you,' but
really, I 1 that is, the notice is some
what short; the the parties, except
yourself, sir, are a a strangers to me,
and I would be a little kind of awkard, in
hort I must decline your invitatron.'
O, no, 'twouldn't do. Dodge must go,
could not get off; so next day a small par
ty of some four or five ladies, and gentle
men met at the Marlboro Hotel, and a few
hours afterwards, the coach drove them
down to the Providence railway depot,
where they soon embarked,and next morn
ing, just as the sun began to peep over the
eastern part of creation, the bride and
bridegroom, and their male and female
attendants, with our facetious and self
sacrificing friend Dodge, who was to act
as grand master of ceremonies, cicerone,
&c, coupled with a young lady, a rela
tive of the bridegroom's, found themselves
at the pier No. 1, North River, New
York.
Now, Mr. Dodge,' says the amateur
joker, we are all strangers here in New
York, and -we put you ia commandof our
affairs, and to direct our movements.'
Exactly, that's all right, says Dodge,
leave all to me. Say, you, look here,
brawls Dodge, to one of the noisy, brawl
ing, pushing red-faced drivcis to one of
the hundred and fifty cabs, coaches and
trunks usually besetting the steamers, lan
ding their passengers at the New York
piers, 'you, I mean, we all go to the Ir
ving House fly around get the baggage
allow me, Miss , to assist you to
this coach: so all in drive off.
In the course of ten minutes the'bridal
party were housed at the 4Irving, private
parlors, and snug and merry as grigs.
Dodge stopped out to get the parson and
arrange the minutes of the marriage. At
fleven A, M. the parties were spliced,
good humor, a few tears and kisses pre
vailed, and the party, under charge of
Dodge, started out to see the lions of
Gotham, and thus merrily passed the
hours away, until the hour of retiring came
around, the parties separated for the night.
Mr. a a a but no matter now.'
'Did you wish to speak to me, Mr.
Podge?' said the happy bridegroom, turn
ing back as Dodge made the broken call.
Yes, that is, but no matter, some other
time will answer, good night, God bless
and as if laboring under some undigest
ed trouble, Dodge disappeared and took a
stroll around by himself. Returning about
midnight at the 'Irving' with a mysterious
looking companion, they took their scats
in the drawing room and sent for the land
lord; he came, a brief whispering took
place, the landlord grinned and grinned,
and finally broke out into something of a
laugh, and said:
Well, I don't care, you're all friends,
it's rather a good joke, it will surprise
them some, do as you please, sir.'
The landlord disappeared, a servant
came in and intimated if the gentlemen
was ready he'd show 'em up to No. -.
Tap, tap, tap, gently went Dodge's
knuckles on the door of the number .
'Who's there?' says a quick voice.
Me,' says Dodge. 'Get up quick.'
That you, Mr. Dodge?'
'Yes, sir, get up, quick!'
'Heaven's sake, what's the matter Mr.
Dodge?'
'O, get up, sir, quick, open 3-our door.
'The house on fire? Heaven's sake,
what's the matter?'
Then was heard a fine strung voice
humidly making the same inquiry, and
soon the door was opened and the outlines
of a gentlemen en dishabille thrusting out
his nose and night cap.
Heavens and earth, Mr. Dodge, do tell
what all this means?'
Why, sir, but I I hope you'll pardon
me I I confess that a,' a,' I was wrong,
very wrong to a' '
Well, but sir,' said the excited and im
patient husband, 4vvhat is it about? Come
let us know the worst!'
The fact is, sir, I couldn't '
'Well, well!'
'I couldn't go to sleep, I got up deter
mined to ask your pardon, but you'll nev
er forgive me, but a '
'Go on, go on, out with it!'
Mr. Dodge are we in danger?' said the
fine small voice pf the little bride, her
bright eyes and pretty little night cap ap
pearing faintly in the background.
Awful too bad, marm, I shall never
forgive myself,' and here, Dodge actually
threw up the whites of those big eyes and
sighed twice!
What danger, how, where?' said the
married couple, in one breath. 'Tell us
all. sir!' sharply asked the husband.
Yes, yes, for mercy's sake do,' said
the wife.
'Then if I must, I must,' said Dodge.
'You are not man and wife!'
What?' said the husband.
'Mr. Dodge!' said the wife.
'Fact, I ought to be hung and quartered,
my fault.'
What do you mean sir? You don't
pretend '
'Yes I do, it's a fact, sir!'
'What's a "fact, Mr. Dodge?' inquired
the alarmed bride.
Not married mam all a sham, my
fault.'
'O-o-o! I'm I'm,' here the husband
as he supposed himself, caught his wife as
she supposed she was, just as she was
about to swoon.
Mr. Dodge this is a sha bby business,
sir,' said the supposed husband.
I know it,' says Dodge, 'I confess all,
I regret it severely, sir, I- I got up, de
termined to make all the '
Misery you could, sir,' said the suppo
sed married man.
Not at all, sir, I did it as a joke.'
A joke sir? It's villainous, sir!'
'But I'll repair it, sir, I'll run off to the
minister's.
Don't meddle any more, sir, take your
self off sir, and leave us to ourselves go.
The husband was about to shut the
door, this brought the lady too, she rushed
to the door:
'Go, Mr. Dodge, go, do go and get the
minister at once, do, sir!'
Never mind now, it's almost morning,
my dear, then we'll arrange the matter
without his intervention,' said the hus
band. But the lady was determined, insisted.
Dodge desired them to dress and come
down into the drawing-room and he would
have the real parson there, and there
should be a prima facia, bona fide, and
veritable wedding. So he left, the dis
comfitted votaries of Hymen had their
other friends aroused from their downy
couches , and the amazed and vexed par
tics assembled in the drawing room and
were soon comforted by Dodge and a
new parson, who put them over the ground
again in a good and substantial shape.
The performances however, took up the
time until daylight began to peep in thro'
the window at the sombre looking wedding
party, when Dodge and the parson left.
After breakfast, the entire party being
again assembled in the drawing-room.
Dodge used his handkerchief about his
lips a few limes, and with a slight ahem
he addressed the wedded parties:
,Mr. and Mrs. s, I've had my
joke, I will not be greedy and enjoy all
the fun myself but share it liberally among
you. Mr. threatened sometime
ago that he would certainly introduce to
my especial observation a well known
quadruped in less than six months. There
is yet a short time left him to carry out
his determination, and I beg leave to say
that this wedding has afforded me proba
bly the only opportunity I shall ever have
to assure Mr. , that the joker who
intends travelling with me must rise early
in the morning and be well loaded with
saws, in order to show to my vision a
new species of the elephant. I regret,
Mrs. , the inconvenience and alarm
I may have caused you, unnecessarily,
for perhaps, the first matrimonial perfor
mance was genuine, the last was merely a
little bit of my nonsense!! and with the
entire party close upon his heels, the in
corrigible joker made his exit.
Life in San Francisco.
Correspondence r the N. Y. Evening Post.
San Francisco, Nov. 15, 1849.
The people of San Francisco are mad,
stark mad. In Bedlam you may have
seen, perchance, an occasional madman
there are hundreds such in California
out at eldows, strutting with a lordly step,
with head erect, and eyes staring wildly
about, proclaiming himself, in his happy
delusion, the lord and proprietor of untold
wealth. He will .tell y ou, with an air of
happy contertment, as you look sadly up
on the long dismal wards, filled with mad
men, grinning, raging, moaning, the great
thick walls, the barred door, and the grated
window, that he is the fortunate possessor
of all you see, of the whole structure which
appears to his diseased fancy a palace, but
which you know, as the keeper turns the
lock and the iron bar upon him, is but a
prison-house for the mad.
A dozen times or more, during the last
few weeks, I have been taken by the arm
by some of the millionaires so they call
themselves, I call them madman of San
Francisco, looking wondrous'ly dirty and
out at elbows for men of such magnificent
pretensions. They have dragged me about
through the mud and filth almost up to my
middle, from oe pine box to another,
called mansion, hotel, bank, or store, as it
may please imagination, and have told me
with a sincerity that would have done cred
it to a bedlamite, these splendid (they had
all the admiration and fine adjectives to
themselves) structures were theirs, and
that they, the fortunate proprietors, were
worth from two to three hundred thousand
dollars a year each.' Such wealth and
such millionaires have existed before, as
we read in the history of Law's Mississip
pi scheme, the South Sea bubble, and oth
er bubbles.
There is agreatdealof wild excitement, j
as you might suppose, engendered by the
present state of things in San Francisco;
there were 110 less titan four suicides this
last week; There is misery, too, and mis
ery that is fully realized, for there is no
illusion about sickness and staring want.
There are no less than fifty paupers at this
moment supported by the town of San
Francisco, at an expense of five dollars
each a day. There is comedy, too, as
well as tragedy, in 'San Francisco; some
odd contrasts and droll inconsistencies.
Purple and fine linen are not the clothing
of the rich here; and Dives has come to the
level of Lazarus.
Society here is in a strangely dislocated
state; all its members are out of place.
Dame-Fortune has chosen her favoirtes
contrary to the usual laws of prudence:
The scrub-horse has gone in for the ciip
and won. The tail is where the .head
ought to be. Poverty is certainly the re
spectable thing in California. There is a
Delmonico's restaurant in San Francisco,
where, in the absence of the French cut
lets and chatau margaux of the orio-inal,
you may be sure of getting, at all seasons,
the rare luxury of being waited upon by a
score or more of gentlemen, just such as
in New York on a Sunday pass up and
down the middle aisles with a silver plate
collecting the offerings of the benevolent
vestry men, deacons, and such like,
whose duty it is to collect alms, you can
see just such passing up and down among
the tables, waiting and tending upon the
customers as common waiters.
It is rumored that at the present time
there is in San Francisco a judge from
Oregon, now waiter at Delmonico's; a pro
fessor of Yale College driving an ox team
and a Methodist parson tending a bar, and
that the latter, numbers more than one
temperance lecturer among his regular cus
tomers. The ideas of the children for
there are few such here must be strange
ly exalted in 'regard to money. I saw a
group of them the other day about a- fruit
and candy stall in the 'chief square, the
youngest of whom, a child of some three
years old, grasped a big silver dollar in his i
hand it would have been a penny in New
York. There are some few cool-headed
men in possession of capital, who, availing
themselves of the fluctuations in prices,
will succeed in making money; but, be
lieve me, the present prosperity of San
Francisco is apparent, not jreal, and that
most here will be ruined.
The daily deluges of rain remind us that
the rainy season has set in, and as there
is not chouse in the whole town that does
not leak, and since many people is house
less, and since the dust of the summer has
become the mud of winter, and the whole
site of the town has been turned into a
slough of half liquid mud, into which you
penetrate at every step to the height of
your knees, it is likely that the inhabitants
of San Francisco will become, as Mantili
ni threatened to make himself, "demnition
cold moir bodies," and remain so till the
return of summer. Men go about plung
ing into the mud puddles, for there are no
pavements, and it is useless labor to at
tempt to pick their way, with their legs
encased i.i enormous boots, like Prince
Albert's, about which Punch has let off so
many jokes- Boots and heavy brogans,
asyou will see by the price current, have
risen into very considerable commercial
importance, and are quoted at enormously
high prices, and with an upward tendency
as the merchants say.
There is quite a range of buildings fron
ting the town, which are now, since the
commencement of the rain, only connected
with the main lands by means of narrow
wooden bridges, and which bid fair, before
the winter is over, to declare their inde
pendence, and establish a town of their
own on the opposite side of the bay. A
strong southeasterly gale has beeu blowing
for some days, stirring up the habor, caus
ing the ships "to drag their anchors and
bring "them together to their manifest
disadvantage. All communication be
tween ship and shore was cut off for
several days, in consequence of the storm
a frequent occurrence at this season, it
is said.
There is a dock called the Central wharf
a brick house or two, a nightly perform
ance of some circus riders, new hoiels,and
new pine houses rising by the dozen, ev
ery day or so, and other evidence of de
velopement. There is the steamboat Sen
ator, too, that reminds one of the North
river, playing daily between San Francisco
and Sacramento City. The town of San
Francisco has certainly made much pro
gress during the last two months, partly
from the necessity of things, and partly
under the stimulus of artificial prosperity.
There must be nearly two thousand
houses, besides tents, which are still spread
in numbers, giving the outskirts of the town
the appearance of a military encampment.
And what do you suppose to be the rental,
the yearly value of this card house city?
No less, it is said, than twelve millions of
dollars, and this with a population of about
twelve thousand. New York, with its
five hundred thousand inhabitants, does
not give a rental of much more than this,
if as much.
The rainy season is floating the popula
tion of the mines and of the interior towns
into San Francisco. Stockton and Sacra
mento, (on the site of the latter Gen. Val-
ejo told me he had frequently sailed in a
boat,) as they situated on sloughs gencrally
overtiown in the rainy season, and as man
is notan amphibious animal, must of course
be deserted by their inhabitants during the
winter.
There are some forebodings of famine;
there is in truth reason to fear that many
of them iu the mines, and the immigrants
by land, may die of hunger, as all commu
nication will probably be cut off between
them and the towns where supplies are
alone to be had.
I have seen some of the miners, who
have told me that it is with utmost diffi
culty that they succeeded in reaching the
river towns, as this is the beginning of the
rainy season, such was the state of the
rivers and passes. Provisions, too, are
said to be very scarce even in San Francis
co; the prices of them are certainly very
high. Pork sells at sixty-five dollars a
barrel, and flour at forty, though it is
doubtful how far these prices are owing to
scarcity or to the juggling of the specula
tors. The lof of bread about the size of
a breakfast roll, which was selling at 25
cents, rose in price in a single day to fifty
cents, and beef from one shilling to two
shillings. This looks as if the speculators
had been at their tricks. The fact is, the
whole town is converted into one mighty
gambling hell; it is not only t lie' card dealer
who is siiufiling cards at the faro and monte
tables, but the merchant aud land specula
tor as well, that prey upon the community
they are gamblers all.
There is necessarily a great demand on
the part of the newly arrived immigrants
for shelter for themselves and property.
The dealers in houses and land, buying
their wood, and building their crazv woo
den tenements by means of money bor
rowed at the rate of ten per cent, a month,
avail themselves of the necessities of the
newly arrived, and demand enormous
rents, from five hundred to five thousand
dollars per month. These speculators
calculate upon realizing fortunes in the
space of a few months; and as they pay
enormous rates of interest for borrowed
money, they raise the rents accordingly.
There are no permanent resources in the
country sufficient to justify this state of
things. The immigrants who come with
more or less property, and the mines are
the principal sources of wealth; the former
are squandering their means in store rent,
house rent and expenses of subsistence,
and the yield of the latter has been very
much overrated.
It is difficult to get any very correct
statements in regard to the gold mines.
I am told that there is plenty of cold there
but I know that the obstacles in getting it
are so great that most are deterred, after a
first attempt, from continuing their search
There are, indeed, some luckydiggers.
I know one man who has dug, himself,
twenty thousand dollars in value, of gold
dust, in the course of six months; but he
tells me that the most about him were not
paying their daily expenses. It is a lot
tery, where the prizes are few and blanks
many. When the average is spoken of
as ten dollars a day, the fair expression of
the fact would be, that one in a hundred
makes his thousand dollars, while the nine
ty and nine 'make nothing at all. They
are beginning to use more scientific means
for gathering gold; during ti e last month
or so, the process of amalgamation with
mercury has been very extensively em
ployed, and quicksilver has been in con
sequence in great demand, J and has
brought in market five and six dollars a
pound.
San Francisco is a icndezvous for peo
ple of all nations the Chinese, Lascars,
Sandwich Islanders, and others from all
parts of the known world. There is a
Chinese restaurant, where you can take
your cup of souchong, outside barbarians
though you may be, served by a veritable
compatriot of the great Cofucius and wor
shipper of Josh, in flaming trousers, and
illimitable pig-tail. You may have your
linen done up for eight dollars a dozen by
a woman from the Sandwich Islands, pos
sibly a first cousin of Queen Pomare.
The bullock from which your beefsteak is
cut is brought in from the inferior by a true
Spanish cavalier, as melodramatic, and
with as fine brigand air and look as Fra
Diavolo in the aply, and who is doubtless
a lineal descendant of the great Cortez; and
3-ou may have, it is said, your pocket
picked by a genuine "Sidney bird," fresh
from New Holland.
The commercial relations of San Fran
cisco with foreign countries are cer
tainly very extensive- Apart from the
new arrivals from all parts of the world,
attracted by the discovery of gold, there
are vessels passing between San Francisco
and the commercial ports on the American
continent, the Sandwich Islands, Oregon,
and Vancouver's Island, China New Hol
land and the East Indies.
A Singular Lake.
A northern paper gives the following
account of a singular lake in Saratoga
county, New York:
About ten miles to the southeast of
Saratoga Springs there is a small lake,
well worthy the attention of. the curious
geologist. Around it, for a considerable
distance, stretches a valley that shows
nany indications of having'once been full
of water, but which has been drained by
the bursting of its sou:hern boundary to-
wards the Mohawk river. In the centre,
1 .1 , I I T - . I -
deeply shaded by a wood, lies the present
lake, not more than a quarter of a mile
in length. The shape is serpentine, and
although several small streams enter into
it, no outlet has ever been discovered.
Very slight changes only are perceptible
in the water mark, even at the period of
the spring freshets.
No soundings have ever been made in
it yet, although deep sea lines have been
used. The shoras are bold and perpeu.
dicularas a wall, descending downward
to an unknown depth. The mightiest
ship that ever floated could louch the'
shores in any place vyitb safety. Its sur
face is calm as a mirror, for it is seldom
touched by the boisterous wind. The
water, though seemingly clear, appears
black, from its depth and the shadows of
the trees on tho shore.
It has nothing of the dish si. apt- usually
pertaining to akes, or seas, or oceans. It
seems like an immense hole in the earth's
surface, thrown open by a convulsion in
nature, as an earthquake, long centuries
ago.
CSAn English Astronomer having seen
a negro for the first time in his life, ex-
claimed, in great astonishment, that it was
a man in the tiaic 01 cciip:.
The Hammer.
The following appropriate panegyric
on this primitive instrument, which was
the first invention in mechanics, and per
haps also the first in war, is taken from
the Scientific American: '
The hammer is the universal 'emblem
of mechanics. With it are alike forged
the sword of contention and tho plough
share of peaceful agriculture-tho press
of the free and the shackles of the brave.
The eloquence of the foruin has moved
the armies of Greece and Kome'to a thou
sand battle-field?; but the eloquence of tho
hammer has covered those fields with vic
tor)' or defeat. The inspiration of song
has kindled high hopes and nohle aspira
tions in the bossoms of brave knights and
gentle dames, but the inspiration of tho
hammer has strewn the field with tatter
ed helm and shield, decided not enly the
fate of chivalnc combat, but the fate of
thrones, crowns, and kingdoms. The
forcing 0f a thunderbolt was ascribed by
the Greeks as the highest act of Jove s
omnipotence, and their mythology beauti
fully ascribes to one of their gods tho task
of presidingatthe labors 'of the forge. In
ancient warfare the hammer was a pow
erful weapon, independent of the b'ada
which it formed. Many a stout skull was
broken through the cap and helmet by a
blow of Vulcan's weapon. The armies of
the Crescent would have subdued Europo
to the sway of Mahomet, butcn the plains
cf France their progress was arrested, and
the brave and simple warrior who saved
Christendom from the sway of th Mussel
man was Martel "the hammer." Tho
hammer, the savior and bulwaik of
Christendom The hammer is tho wealth
of na'.ions. By it are forged the ponder
ous engine and the tiny needle. It is an
insrument of the savage and the civilized.
Its merry clinks point out the abode of
industry. It is a domestic deity, presiding
over the grandeur of the most wealthy and
ambitious, as well as the most humble and
impoverished. Not a stick is shaped, not
a house is raised, a ship floats, a carriage
rolls, a wheel spins, an engine moves, a
press squeaks, a viol sings, a spade delves
or a flag waves, without the hammer.
Without the hammer civilization would
be unknown, and the human species only
as defenceless brutes; but in skillful hands;
directed by wisdom, it is an instrumentof
power, of greatness, and true glory.
Dow, Jr., describes life at twenty in
the following unique manner:
"Friends, at twenty we are wild as
partridges. There's no such thiug as
taming us; we ride that fierce, and head
strong animal, Passion, over fences, ditch
cs, hedges, on to the devil leap the five
barred gate of reason without touching
the curb of discretion, or pulling harder
than a tit mouse, upon the strong rem of
judgment. And at twenty you are per
fect locomotives, going at the rate of sixty
miles an hour, your heart the boiler, love
the steam which you sometimes blow off
in sighs, and hope, fear, anxiety and
jealousy, are the train that you drag. At
this season of life you filled with ex h iter
ating gas of romance everyr thing looks
romantic by spells even a jackass philos
ophising over a barrel of vinegar. You
(both girls and boys) r.ow read novels till
your gizzards have softened into a s nti
mental jelly, and settled into the pit of
your stomach. Oh! I know how you feel!
you feel as tho you wculd 1 ke to soar
from star to star! kick little planets aside,
take crazy comets by their blazing hair.
and pull them into their right courses, s;t
upon the highest peak of a thunder cloud
and dangle the red lightening between
1 vour thumb and fingers, as a watch-chain.
1.1 1 ' I 1 J - . V, . - - ..
anu men utve imo u:c gumvu huki sia
and sport with the celestial syrens, speed
on, pull the nose of the man in the moon,
ransack all creation, knock a few panes
out of Heaven, and then flutterdown gen
tly as a breeze and find the darling object
cf your love mending stockings! Thai's
how you feel."
Singular Coincidence. In 1839, in
consequence of protracted contest for the
' speakership in the United States House ot
Representatives, the President s .Message
was not delivered until the 24th of Dc?
cember. President Taylor's Mcssags
was delivered on Monday December 24,
1S19.
remale Vol crs. Garrison, nf the Bos
ton Liberator, is advocating the right of
women to exercise the elective franchise.
vTo refuse it," he says, "is an act of folly,
injustice, usurpation," and tyranny, which
ought no longer to be persisted in." A
petition to the legislature, in accordance
with the above v iews, is in circulation.
VWX Correspondent of the Baltimore
Sr.n suggests that the barbarous custom of
Hogging in the Navy be translerred from
that service to the United State? House of
1 jirpncnwiin i.