b
al
voi.ffiviE
THE CARLISLE HERALD,
CuFlinhod ovorilliumbly motifing by
WEAK LEY & WALL ACE,
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS
Office in Slteent;s Lutt, in, rear nj the Court House
Terms--s2''oo per strum, in advance
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For 11xevotors'. nil.' A•11011.1,41r‘t-rs'1•10•Ines, $1 00
For Andltors' Noticing, 2 On
For Asslgnegsg' Lind Final, "ode's, 3 On
For yonriy Cords, net oxeen,l l o2 sic linos, 7 00
For Annonnromonts..o3 cents por Ilho, unlcon eon.
leseted Our by the year.
For Bush,. nod Spoelnl Nroices 10 Cents pet line.
Doubts ..1000 nilroltisoments extrn.
Notlosn 01 Marriages and Deaths p• bllnho 1 free.
GREEDS OF THE BEF,pLS.
BY also W. lIUNGAY
flow sweet the cl lnee el Sabbath bell.:
Erich ono Its creed in 111118 k
In tones that ilunt upon the
An mit nn hong, an pore at prayer;
And I will put In elitiple rhyme
The langinige of Ida gentle chime.
lily happy heart with mph.u swells
lteiiponsi to 910 belle —meet belle
111EIIIII
Chimed oni Gem it led tee ern 11.11.
w This 1, thy chinch net bbilt on med.
Ihnhlein or one net built with honils;
Its (ems and stewed risen ewers--
Come worship here, Como worship horn:
In i ittint and fnirh exeol, rxeel,"
Chimed nut the nietteopnlin felt
'• Oh, 11,0 ancient linalnihrkg well
In volinnn hales ex inlmel a ),all
•' progrep• made 1.7 mertnl titan
Can ellvngo thoin•t. ot,nnl plan—
With Or.ti the, rrin ni,thin: new
Ignoro Ow false. nil tarn the trio,
S% IMO nll ix ”4 , 11, ix Is well,"
out tlin good "1.1 Unlt-11 clinrrh tot
TII nll th• il . lllll %%.• tl . ll, \VP 'ell
I=l
"Come 01l ;so nomy watolerinss, 9,1
Our Lord trOti made , .nlvollon Oro:
henevo. hove faith. and then
Po en:rod •nd proles Ow Lord, Amen
Fnlvalion'e fr•e, we Intl, we tell
Shotted Ihe Molltncl!nt 1411. ?.
Yn pstrifpug wntrrn
In ntnllow tour•+ rang out a hvil I
Though ful th alone In eltrl.tt 1,11 'Aro
vie!. ntztet be plouttett belle:int the xn•e,
T..hev the world totenttering falth
In whet the nttereol Scripture safth..
Oh nwell:,ye ris lug ontervy ewell I"
Netted unt the q.., igned Raptiet R
“Nut ttith stuns. but ',Aka as ad'
Must Nst thr t.otti,” x.lll a sott hell
•' Corm. bore and os t aoldo your had,
Ind work-yOuyeway'olong tho load,
With.fitith in (foil, nnd•heilh In emu ; t 4
nd hoi o In .Chr'at, where hopo [mgt.);
110 awn, do woll, do w e ll, dn,woll,'
l'ontud forth a Unitarian bell.
Vartweil, faiou inor'd, farewell,"
wurning notes, nit•InlISI011 a brit':
ea a 1,0011 In mortuln givon,
TI,
It Ilin mull for 111 inn in lisavou.
Du not Inyuku the ityvnglntt roil •
Como hero mild 1.1.1 re the will ut God..
Say to the. n•m lit farriwoll, fureivnli,"
Pentad out the l'in.ityterittil
In itftor lifo thyro no boll!
Ilantoroa rang it ...Inuit - id
Look nu 1.. litnivrii [lir+ holy .lav,
Whore ongoillAvalt to cheer nay;
There air liffigrop, no Annan to blight
Tho future hu jug and rlg
No hill! no 11011! nu hell! no ho I
It tag out thu Uni rereuli 00 boll.
•!'fltoi
_.criot_fothere heothoi well
My closkirful r. pooled forth B, 101 l
" No fottors L.ro to dug the .o•l ;
Nc flrlittraty ClU•dn eo•trol
'II. free heart and prozre.aird
Thnt lam, the tltpdy p.tst
Speed wtoll,.prod ,re.l,npeed wen, xpri•
Ptuded opt the I ndopead•nt Lodi.
No Pops 11,1 I'ollll to ditr.lll to hell
The Protestant I" roog out a boll;
- ttroat Luther loft his linty zeal,
Within the hearts Old trill; foul
That loyalty to God will ho
'rho foully that makes men free.
No Images whore lucent., fe'll
Rang oat uld Murtha Luther'e bell
• All boll, Jo 1 , 211111 n in Itenveli that tlwnil
(Anne the c 1044 evelninleol n boll, •
L 11•11 0:t, I4e Itnidlfdrrentu of bliss,
Aud llnigu to 140.. tvot Id
Ltd tneholo It •eil ',.fors this Orin.—
I=
All ball, yr •darn, Ihn cLartis sw•l
I=
work•en who haeaAtiflon he well
en the rae, - .ald a awo.t
pledge and lied 11 banner coma
o twat t boullog :Ilia it lit t • tu
moo of llob'e ;
I=l
ik (mei - the the the
, Lpture nog tho Temperoneebe
llior Nadi, Owl, Wl—.
;looting nut u
zi creed;
II yoke nlone t , head ;
r,to wlsdurn•Hirulk,
Joe reek by wek,
r tlitultuur lar " AllQutine
no bell, nu bull, nu hell.
( TEIG.I1B0.1:-..illr- LA
C ItIt& L. M. _CHILD
. .there in his tinily doetl3.
. . I t?eallag that hln epirit need.;
nwor'in altt 4 V rathwayntrevrn,
;ragrant beitutYAt4tott4l , 0,,,, ,"
)IE ,
I aro going to live i the same
with natty Turn envy," said
to Mrs. Fairw'oathor. "Yon
tobody to envy you.
_lf her
oes not prove too much for
good nature, it will surprise AM'
know hot. We lived thero.a yoar,,
1 that is as long as anybody tried - it."
"Poor lletti," replied Mrs. Fair
jwcather, "sl3' has had much to harden
.
her. Her mother died too_ early for her
to remember; hoe father was very
yore with her, and the , only loyor sho
over had, borrowed tliel savings of. ho}
)vb i elp of toil and spent 'them
PTA- . But uOtwithstlinding lAor
harp, features, and sharp words,, cer
tainly has a kind' heart. In the midst
of her greatest poverty many Were the'
stockings sho knit, and the warm waist
,:
(mats sho made for the poor drunken
lover whom she had too much sense -to.
marry. Thonyou know sho feeds, and
clothes hor brother's orphan, child." . •
" If,you. call it tooding and clothingd ,
replied Mrs. Lane, '"The poor child
loops cold and -pinched, and frightened
al the time is if she wore chased by the
east wind. I used to tell Miss Turn:-
penny sho ought to be ashamed - Of her
self, to ,keep the poor little thing at
work all times, without ono minute to
ploy. If she does but look at the eat,
Ault runs by the window, Aunt
gives i4Or a rap ,
she would ~make the
girl. just snob another sour old crab as
Herself."
— ‘,‘,That must hnol)al:fil very iftiprovlng
to her disposition," replied Mrs.
weatluir, witli a goodlmmored smile.,
injustice to pool doint /letly, you
should pimombei , that sho had,jtst saoh
•
.1”
"
• 'T •
a cheerless childhood herself. Flowers
grow whore there is sunshine."
"1 know.you think evpsyhody ought
to live in Minshino," replied Mrs. Lane;
"and It
.Must be confessed that you
carry it, with you wherever you go. If
Miss TurrMenny has a heart, I dare say
you will find it out, though I never could,
and I never hoard of any ono else that
could. All the families within hearing
of her tongue called her the neighbor.im
law?"
Certainly the prospects were not very
encouraging, for the house was not only
under the same roof' with Miss Turn
ny, hut, the Utiildings_l_ntd_hue emu,
mon yaKd in front. The very first day
she took possession of hor new habita
tion she called on tIM neighbor-in-law.
Aunt Hetty Hod taken the preciudimi' to
extinguish.the.ilre, lest the new neighbo•
.
should iyant hot water, before her awn.
wood and coal atriVed. Her first siduta
, tion was, "If you want any cold water,
there's a pump acress the street ; I don't
like to have my ham: slopped all over."
"I am glad you are so tidy, neighbor
Turnpenny," replied Mrs. Fairweather,
"It is extremely pleasant to have neat
neighbors. I will try to keep everything
bright as a now live cent piece, for 1 see
that will please you. I came merely to
say goodmorning, and ask you if .you
could spare little Peggy to run up and
~down the stairs for me, while I ant get'
ting my furniture in order. I will pay
her ten cents an hour.
Aunt lletty 'began to, draw up her
mouth for refusal ; but the promise of
ten cents an hour relaxed her features
at once. Little Peggy sat knitting
stocking very diligently, with a rod lying
on the table beside her. She looked up
with timid wistfulnesS, as if the prospect
of any change was like a release from
prison. When she heard consent given,
liright color flushed liar cheeks.. -She
was evidently of, an impressible tempera
ment, for good or evil. Now mind and
behave yourself," said Aunt nett.) , ; "and
see that you keep at work the whole
time ; if I hear one word of Complaint,
you know what You'll get when you
conic home." The rose color subsided
from Peggy's pale face, and she an
swered; Yes, ma'am," very meekly.
In the neighbor's house all went quite
othelvise. No switch lay on the table,.
arid instead of " Mind how you do that ;
if you don't I'll punish you," she hoard
the gentle w,ords, "There, dear, see
how carefully you' can carry that up
stairs. Why, what a nice, handy little
girl you aro :" • 0
Under these - :onlivening influences
Peggy )sorked like a bee. Aunt Hetty
was always in thhabit, of saying, "Stop
your noise, and mind your Work." But
the now friend patted her on the head
and said, " What' a pleasant voice the
little girl has. It is like the birds in the
fields. ' Hy and by you shall hear my
music box "
This opened wide the tlindows of the
little shut up heart, so that the sunshine
could stream in, and the birds ily in and
ont caroling. - The happy child tuned
up with a lark, as she tripped lightly ap
and down stairs, on :various household
errands. lint though she took heed to
observe all the directions given her, her
head was ell the time lilted with con
jectures of- what sort of a thing a music
box - might be. She was a little afraid
'the kind lady would forget to show it to
her. She kept to' work, however, and
asked nu questions ; she only looked very
curiously at everything that resembled a
box.
At knit Mrs. Fairweather said, " I
think your little feet Must be tired by
this time. We will regt akvhile, and eat
some gingerbread. The child took the
offered 'cake, with an humble little cour
tesy, and carefully hold out her apron to
prevent spy et limbs from railing on the
floor. mt soddenly the apron dropped,
and the et limbs were all strewn about,
"In that, a little bird ?" she exclaimed
eagerly, " hero is he? Is ho in this
room ?" The now friend smiled, and
told her that was 111 , 9 music box; and
after a while she opened it and explained
what made the sounds. Then she took
out a pile of hooks from one of the bas
kets of goods, and told Peggy she might
look at the.pietures till she eallod her.
The little" girl stopped forward eagerly
to take them, and then drew back as if
afraid: " What is the matter?" asked
Mrs. Fairweather ; "I am yery willing
to trust you with the books. 3 IteMP
them on ° .purpose to amuse children."
Peggy looked down, her finger en iter
lip, and answered; in a constrained
voice; "Aunt Turupenny won't like it
If I play." " Don't trouble yourself
about that. I will make it all right with
Aunt Hotly," replied the frion y one.
Thus assured, she gave herself u to the
full enjoytiont of the picture hnolts; and
when she was' summoned to her work,
she obeyed with a cheerful alacrity that
would have astonished her stern relative.
When the libors.of the day wore con
cluded, Mrs. Fairweather aceotnpanied'
her home, paid all the hours she had
been absent, and warmly praised her
docility and diligence.
"It is lucky that she behaved so well,"
replied Aunt Hetty ; if I had heard
any complaint, T. should have given her
'a whipping, and sent bet. to, boa withont ,
her supper." '
?oor Pe gg y wont to sleep that
night Witllll lighter heart than she•had
ever folt yluoo oho had 'been an orphan.
Her_ first thonght au the morning was
whether the now neighbor', , would want
her services during the day. Her desire
that it should be so son became obvious
to Aunt, Hefty, and excited 'an undefined
Jealousy and dislike of a person who so
easily made herself beloved. Without
exactly acknowledging to herself . what
were her own . motives, she ordered
Pcggy ; to gather all the sweepings of, the
kitchen alai aßirt, brio a:small pile, and
leave it onthe fronties of her neighbor's
premises. ventarod to ask tim
idly whether the wind,. would not blow
it about, and she received a box on the
ear for her impertinence. ' •
It chanced that Mrs. Oairwros c tlwv,
quits uninteationoy, 4c,a f riA the words
tlO
,Wovv. Rho giro hunt Betty's
anger time enough to cool, then, Stop
ping out into 'the . court, and after ar
ranging divers little matters„ she called
aloud to her, domOstio, "Bally, ,how
came yontO leave this pile. of dirt hero?
Didn't 1.-tell you Miss Turnpounf was,
.Very neat?, Pray,. make haste and, swoop,
it up. T woyddn't have 4or - BO i i tou
any abooopt• tole ho} trl to
•,• . •
ME
MEI
.
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' :'04... _ r(r. ', t .4 1 'a .•'• ' ;•••• . i i
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keep everything nice about the pre-m
-ises, She Is so particular herself; and
it is a comfort to have tidy neighb6rs."
Tho girl, rube Lad boon provinusly in
structed, smiled as she tame out, with.
brush' and dust pan, and swept quietly
~away the pile that was intended as a
declaration of frontier war.
But another source of Annoyance pre
sente d itself, which could not be quite so
cosily disposed of. Aunt 'Betty lid.a
oat, a lean; scraggy that looktd
as if she wore often -kicked and .seldom
fad ; Mrs. Fairweather also h.act a, fat,
frisky little dog, always ready for a
caplr. He took a distaste to , poverty
stricken Tab the first time he saw her,
and no coaxing could induce him to ,
alter his opinion. His name was Pink,
but ho was anything but a pink of be
havior in his neighborly relations. Poor
Tab could never set foot out of the door
with6ut being sainted with iv growl, and
a sharp bark, that frightened her out of
her senses, And made her run into' the
house, with fur all on end. If she even.
ventured to doze a little on her own door`
step, the enemy was on the watch, and
the moment her eyes closed ho would
wake-her with a bark and a box on the
-ear and on ho would run.
Aunt Hotly vowed she would scald
him. it was a burning shame, she said
for folks to keep dogs to worry their
neighbor's cats. Mrs. Fairweather in
vited Tabby to dine, and made much of
her, and liationtly endeavoredoo, toach
her dog to cat from the samo plate.
But Pink steadily resolved that he would
be scalded first; that lie would. Bo
could -not have been more firm in his
opposition if lie and Tab had b6longed
to diffeant soots in Ceki'sii.anity.
is mistress was Patting Tab the
head and reasoning the point with him
di - &would at tunes Manifest a degree df
indifference amounting to toleration ;
but the moment he was left ,to his own
['tee hill ho would give the invited guest
a hearty cuff with his paw, and send`her
home spitting like a small steam engine.
Aunt Lletty considered it her own pecu
liar privilege 'to cult the pOor animal, and
it was too much fur her patience to see
Pink undertake to itSBl:**l making Tab
unhappy. On one of thbse occasions she
rushed into our: neighbor's apartments
and faced Mrs. Fairweather, with one
hand resting on het' hip, and the fore-
finger of the other making wrathful
gesticulations.
"I tell you what, madam, I won't put
up with 'such much longer," said she ;
"I'll poison that dog ; see if I
don't ; and I shan't wait long either, I
can tell yon. What you keep -such an
impudent littlo boast for, I don't lcnow,
unless'you do it on purpose, to plague
your neighbors."
"I am really sorry he behaves so," re
plied Mrs. Fairweather mildly. "Poor
Tab l"
"Poor Tab !" screamed Mrs, Turn-
penny
" What do you mean by calling her
poor? Do you mean to fling it up 0010
that my cat don't have enough to eat'l"
‘' I did not think of such a thing,"- re
plied Mrs. "Fairweather. "I called her
poor Tab, because Pink plagues her so
that she has, no peace of her life. I
agree witli4ou, neighbor Turnpenny ;
it is not right to keep a dog that disturbs
the neighborhood. I am attached to
poor Pink because he belongs to my son,
who pAs gone to sea. I was in hopes lie
would soon leave ! off quarreling with the
cat ; but if he' won't be neighborly, I
will send him out into the =intr.,' to
board.
.Sally, you will bring me one of
the pies wo baked this morning. I
shoilld like to have Miss Turnponny
taste of them."
The crabbed neighbor' was helped
abundantly, and while she was eating
the pie, the friendly matron edged in
many a kind wurd4 concerning little
Peggy, whom she praised as a remark
able capable, industrious child,
" I am glad to find herso," said Aunt
Netty ; " I should got precious little
work out of her if I did not keep the
switch in sight,"
" I romago - children pretty much -as
theman did the donkey," replied Mrs.
Fairweather. " Not an inch would the
poor beast stir for all his master's boat
ing and thumping. But a neighbor tied
some fresh turnips to a stick, and
fastened them so that they swung before
the donkey's nose, and he set off on a
,brisk trot in hopesof ovortakingthem."
Aunt licitly, without observing hoiv
cry .olosely the comparison applied to
her Oyu management of Peggy, said
"That Will do very well for folks that
have plenty of turnips to spare."
"For the matter 'of that, answered
AL:s. Fairweather, "'whips cost Some
thing as well as turnips ; and since ono
makes the - donkey .stand still, and the
other makes Wm trot, if is'very easy to
decide Which is most economical. But,
neighbor Turnpenny, since you like my
pies so well, pray tako ono home with
you. lam afrhid they will mould hefoi:e
we can eat them up."
Aunt Iletty had coma for a quarrel,
and she wasastonished to lied herself
going out, with a . pie. [." Well, Mrs.
Fairweather," said she, "you arc a
neighbor. I thank you a thoualitnl
times." When she reached her oWn
'door, she hesitated for an instant, then
turned back, pie in hand, to say :
"Neighbor, Fairweather, you needn't
trouble ~yoursolf about sending Pink
'away. It's'natural yoirl.should like the
little creature, seeing-he belongs to your
son: , VII try to keep Tab in -doors ; and
perhaps after a while they will agree
bettor. -
"I hope they will," replied , the.
friendly matron ; "we will try them a
while longer, and if thoi persist in quar ,
rolling, I will send the -i dog tpto the
country." Pinic, who was sleeping in a
chair, stretched himself and gaped.
mistress patted him On the
boa "&h, you foolish little boast,"'
said she, "-what is the useof , plaguing
poor Tab I "
• Well, I do , say,"
~ohscrted
"yoq.arna pantitor woman for,
•4topping...a quarrel."
I learned a good lessdn when
.I ; Was , ‘,.l
ri little 'girl," rejoined lirs..Fairweattiir.
"Ono frostylnorning I wasloolring_ ont
of Om witalow into my father's barn
yard, whore stood many cows, oxen and
borses;•waiting to 'drink . . :pit was one of
those cold, Snapping morginfS, 'when, 6,
slight thing iriltates bath naaWand bP4ekt
• VIC, oattle•aii stood v.eNy and Meek,
0 1 t 1 t, 0 4e oc.t4 cows atte*ted to ttiria
wouull. making 'the' atiorept sh
=III
CARLISLE, PENNA., THURSDAY MORNING, MARCH 21, '1872.
happened to. bit 'hor next neighbor,
wheroup - A the areighlicir Iticked,aud bit
another. In five 'Mutates tho whole herd
wore kicking and knocking each other
with all fury. My mother, laUghed, and
said : See What comes Of kicking when
you're hit.' Just so I've seen ono dross
word set a whole family by the ears,
some frosty 41ornine. Afterwards, if
my brothers or myself woro a little irri
tible, she would say, " Take. oaro child
ren, remember how aid fight in the barn
yard tregati. Never give a kick for a hit,
and you will save yourselves and others
a deal of trouble."
That same afternoon the sunshiny
w sre she found Piggy sewing as usual,
with the eternal sN% itch on the table be
side her. "I am obliged to go -to liar
lam on business,' said 'slm, "I feel
rather lonely without Company,- and I al
ways like to'have a child with inc.
you will oblige me by letting Peggy go,
I will pay her fare in the omnibus "
" Sht has her ::pelling lessonsto get
before Ui`ht," replied Aunt !Jetty. "I
do not approve of tot tc going a-pleasttr
ing, and neglecting their education."
"Neither do I," rejoined her neigh
bor ; " but I thin]. there is a great deal
of education that is not found in books.
The fresh air will 'make Peggy grow
stout and active. prophesy she will do
great credit to your bringing up." .
The sugared wools, end the •remem.
Uralic° of the sugared pie, touched the
soft place in 'Miss Turnvnny's heart,
and she told the astonisha Peggy that
she might go and put on her best gown
and bonnet,. Tire poor child heganito
think that, this tn•ak,neighbor was Ce'i
inly one of I o• g oN, faites she had
read about in the piet%e snicks, 'rile
excurmiou %ca.. enj,yed only as a ohild
C:171 enjoy - the' country. The. world
seems ...molt :L - 114.V:tilt place When the
fetters arc off, all 'nature folds the
youilg heart, levimrly to her boson:. A
dock of real birde mid two living butter
flies put the little orphan' in perfect
ecstacy. She punted U l f the fields
covered with dainklions and said, ":10ci
how pretty ! It looks as if the stars had
,l:01110 down to 1.0 tor the grass." Ali,
our little stinted Peggy has poctly in
her, though Ana Hefty never nnio it
out. Evei y human soul has the germ of
some flowers within and they would
open if they could only find sut shine and
free air to expand them.
Mrs. Fairweather was a uattienl phi
losopher in her own small way. She
observed that Miss Turnpenny really
liked a pleasant tune; and when Winter
came tried to persuade her that singing
would be excellent for Peggy's lungs,
and perhaps keep her from going into
consumption.
"My n'OPhow, James Pair'weather,
keeps a singing 'school," said she, "and
ho says he will teach her gratis. Yoswl
need not feel under, great obligation ;
for her voice will lead the whole school,
and as her ear is quick it will be no
trouble at all to teach her. Perhaps
you would gq with us sometimes, neigh
bor Turnpenny? . It is Very pleasant :to
hear the childrim's voices."
The muscles of Aunt •llotty's ,pouth
relaxed into a sniffle. She accepted the
invitation, and. was so much pleased
that she went every , Sunday evening.
The simple tunos, and the sweet young
voices fell likethe dew on her hied tip
heart, and greatly aided the genial in
fluence of her neighbor's example. The
rod silently disappeared from the table.
If. Peggy was disposed to be idle, it was ,
only necessary to say, " When you have
finished you work, you may go and ask
whether Mrs. Faimeather wants any er
rands done." Bless me how the fingers
flow? Aunt Betty had learned to usd
kind words instead of the cudgel.
When Spring came Mrs. Fairweather
busied herself with planting roses and
vines.. Miss Turnpenny
. coadily con
sented that Peggy should•horft her, and
even reiused to take any pay from such
a good neighbor. But she maintained
her own opinion', that it was a mem
waste of time tn.Cultivato flowers. The
cheerful philosopher never disputed the
point t but she would sometimes. say,,
" I hare no room to plant this rose bush.
,Neighbor Turnpenny, would yon be
willing to let me set it on your side of
the yard? It will take very little room,
and will need no oare." At another
time she would say, ' 1 really my
ground is too full. Jferets a root of
lady's delight. 'How bright and port it
looks. It seems a pity to.throw it away.,
If you are willing, I will lot Peggy plait
it in what she calls her garden. It will
grow itself, tel Sty c`i,fe, anti
scatter seeds, that come up and blossom
in all the chinks of the brlpits. I love it.
It is Buell . a hright Good-natqled thing."
Thus, by degrees, the crabbed maiden
found herself surrounded with (towers ;
and she even declared, of her' own
accord, that they did look pretty. .
Uric day, when Mrs. Lang called upon
Mrs.
.Fairweather, she kind Om old
weed-groc'vn yard ',flight and bloorriing..
Tab, quite fat and sleek, was uslooVin'
the sunshine, with her paw upon Pities
,nock, and little Peggy was singing a.t
her work as blithe as a bird. •
" llow ohocirfel you look here," said
Mrs. Lano. "And se you linen really
'taken die house for anotheigear.. Pray,
how do you manage to got on with the
neighbor-in-law?" •
"I find her a. very kind, obliging
neighbor," replie'd.Mrs. Fairiveafluir..
" Well that is a :iniraclo I" exclaimed
Mrs. Lane.. ."Nobody but you would
kayo. undertaken to thaw out Aunt
Hotty's heart." • -
"That is probably — the 'reason why it
nover,was thawed," rejoined her friend.
'" I always told .you that net having
enough ,sujOino'.was tirhat ailed tho
world. Maimpeople happy, and there
will not be 'half tho quarrelling 'or a
tenth part of the NV ickednoijs thoro'is..
From this gospel preached and prao‘.
ticdd, nobody derived so much bou - ellt as.
Her nature, which •was
fast becoinitig" ordoked• add knotty;
'under the malign influence ofconstraint'
and ,fear, straightened, budded and
blossOmed in- the 'genial atmosphere 'Of
cluierful kindness. Her affeetions.and
poultice wore kept in stiolk -pleasant Ox
en:AS*3, that constantlighliness , lof heart'
made horidmost handiorne. The young
muldo tooolior thought /.ligr' more than
handsome, for her affoetionato soul shoae
nioro-boamiugly on him than bu .others
. and lovo makes all things beautiful.
:When . '.Orphah "removed, to her
pleasant cottage, on her 'wedding day,
she threw her arms around the blessed
missionary of sunshino, and said "
thou dear, good aunt, it'isAlm6vho Ltas
IMO° my life Fairweather."..
SOME OF THE DIFFERENT KINDS
OF HEN.
BY sor. M. LEF,
Mon are more alike tijan women.
There seems tube certain - laws or fixed
rules which regulate the former, while
the latter may bo said to constitute nn
infinite conglomeration of varieties. ,
THE TIIOROUCIII-GOING IMISINEgB MAN
is rather an amusing study. His notes
never go to protest—in fact, ho seldom
gii"es any. so ie riot7il my to lie popiilar
with sohool,girls or imaginative young
ladies--Lthere is not enough of the " free
lance" about him. A woman does not
like to receive a sprawly letter on com
mon paper, commencing "four's of
the ' 14' instant same to' hand this
date.' If you chiNce to bo extrava
gantly dressed, your inferisO business
friend-regards you reprovingly; as ono
who would say, - "One.ffialf the expense
of that suit of clothes and:that watch
and 'chain ought to be at interest."
When traveling on
.busiorws he will sit
up all night to save $2, and upon re
turning home subscribe slo' (at the
earnest solicitation of a wealthy female
Patron') to the Infant Hottentot' Linen
Association. He casts his bread upon
the waters, knowing that-it will come
back again after marry • days. When
your thorough-going business man tens
you, with a look of placid coldness, that
he cannot possibly accomModate you in
the matter of that "little loan," you
'know it were easier for a camel to pass
through the 'medic's c3o (or point, for
that matter) than for yon to accomplish
'the aforesaid " little loan " Order is
his first law, and he never fails to im
press tlw fact upon all' about him.
"Mr. doLes will bo in at nine o'clock,"
the pulitm clerk informs yoffi o with
bole, as much a:: to say, " If you have
any loose change to het against it, I'm
your man." If John, the coachman,
were to drive around fifteen minutes
late, he would do so with his official
head under his arm. They are a little
.tedious , and- prosy these systematic
people, yet when one is waiting fit the
batik for a "raise" that will save hint
from bankruptcy, he appreciates the
'Prompt arrival of the cashier. I wonder
whether these regular people do not
wislrlhey could lie in bed a half hour
Wei. now and then, just by the way of
Variety ?
TPE UNLUCKY MAN
deserves pity. Everything ho touches
miscarries. He works hard, but; does
not heroine rich Ho sows, but gathers
not. The Rothsehilds are said to give
unlucky men a wide beith in business,
perhaps on the supposition that lack of
judgment, rashness or- undue cautigo,
inattention, and want of capacity are
the prime causes of so nytny being un
successful. I have oftekl;Woudered how
my friend Tomkins of shit could at'-
ford to spend la) mue money ou so
limited a I/11811108S. Tho solution has ap
peared under the disastrous heading
The unlucky man is a
fatalise 110, believes that some men are
stgeti prong .r, while with others it is
impossible.' Ile is generally involved,
breathing an atmosphere of debt and
difficulty. Being looked upon at the,
banks an a little ''shaky," he is some
tiMes unable to effect a loan that would
save him temporarily from ruin.
Mar.CTAND POSITIVE MAN
s a great nuisance. What he does know
it) knows with such an intensity of cer
allay Chat the weight of the everlasting
hills could not press out one iota of his
stock in trade. Ile is essentially a man
of details: Regardless of the Opinion of
others, he asserts his own with an air of
infallibility. There should be a dot
Over his head that the world ,night
mark him at a ghince as in reality a lit
tle "i," lie is the moral foe of argu
ment and logic. Ideas petrify in his
brain, and occasionally have to, be
pounded or dug out, iu which event he
lays .them away a sort of .charnel
house; hoping they may sometime come
into use. Opposition lashes him into
fury. He is dogmatic, _unimaginative,
dictatorial and generally hateful.
'PITH-D7K"L•'P'I'IC MAN
oust receive ;i passing notice. . I knew a
nail who often ate twice the average
[inner, or, iu other Wm de, two Inch's
dinners, end afterwards made sad lamen
tation that God continued to,pimish . him
with that "terrible dyspepsia." Thal
Man tried all climes, but. his magnificent
aprictitc followed him. Three times a
day he threatened to "curse God, and
die," but did neither—don't think ho
had the nerve.. TiVO hundred and fifty
times, while laboring with his pains, he
las said to me " Have you ..had the
YsPensia ?" canto to answer
" No," in a business tone. " You can
mot_appreciate .my. sufferings ;
not sympathize with me," he would
reply with an agonized air. "My thiar
fellow," I remarked, one day, "it would
,fake too „much time; pray lot me make
a monthly deposit of sympathy for
to ' cheek' iin." • Since that time, in my
presence, he has eaten and suffered in
silence. Your dyspeptic is a thorn in
his wife's flush, tho terror of his children
and . servants, and a hero to hie friends.
His peevishness is of • tit, pugnacious
order, and seeks relief hi a war or Words.
Ho is not an agreeable cokupaniou ;
everything ho, does is afflicted with that
yellow cast of his disdase 7 When his
sufferings aro nit the mita of coutidned .
indiscretions, ho deserves genuinti pity.
=
s Itqernately in.ecetaoy. and, despair,
30 out ei'S upoii'a prpject, with the,on
__
thusiaSui of a young lover..; 'Everything
Mahe bright before- him. Ile plans a
forward movement, leaving no loop-hold
for retreat ; .often wins a ;victory from
sheer lack of cantion- 7 his self-confidence
sweeping like_a tidal-wave • OYU • every
form orappositio'n. 'When roverSes
come they aro a double defeat bee'auso .
unproiided for and unexpected. Toni
portiment lye hia inaster,=. The lessons of
co;porionc4 aro unheeded, said forqle
Utuo being. He ricochets from good
bad luck and OA to good, his faccralWays'!
rod' with anticipation, or purple with
unforseen disaster. Yoursanguine man
is not properly balanced. In an under,
taking requiring deep thought and earn.
oat
,pri3paration,. ho takes one-half for
H FRA
granted and trusts to luok for the so
complishmont of the other.
- TnE INQUISITIVE lIIAN
is worse than a leper. Ho is a sort of
endless screw. Ho is like 'Victor Hugo's
Devil Fish, sucking your inmost
thoughts, bud the worst of it is that he
often gets more than he can hold (as,.
was the case with Jack Horner after the
absorption of his entire Christmas pie).
Therefore he is a gossip. His vary im
pudence in trying to worm ) out the
secrets of otheri proves that honor is a
stranger to 1:1i - breast: 'When himself
communicative, ho is doubly l a bore.,
His tongue is 'as familiar as the diplo
lnatlSt's-with - the cheap expressions,
"in strict confidence," " upon my sactod
honor, sir," oto., oto. Ifo acquires Won
derful shrewdness in the art of "pump
ing."
An army friend rolat the following
experienceon an Uppera4:4oi boat :
Being in uniform, and havilt4-his cap
the number of his regiment, every indi
vidual strangor Seemed. to look upon him
as a sort of a Rip Van Winkle fossil' of
the volunteer army, still wearing the
military harness in delightful ignorance
that the great war chariot had been long
ago sold for old iron. Ono enthusiastic
country man, firing with patriotic ardor,
exclaimed, "I liked the army,^ stranger,
and wouldn't mind gitin' into it again.
Do you reckon I could do it?" "Not
'?ho least doubt, provided you are able
bodied—plenty of recruiting offices in
the country." Such a "snub" with
most men wodid be quite sufficient. Not
,o in this case, for the tormentor replied
innocently.' ' "0, I meant as an officer."
Afl'ellicago "drummer," introducing
himself by an invitation to "take a
drink" (which my friend declined, know•
ing that ton times. the. worth of it would
be "pumped" out of him), with a sort
of knowing look asked :
"Twentieth Illinois ?"
" No, sir !" was the politereply
"Twentieth Minnesota?"
" No, sir!" more politely said.
"No? Ah ! Twentieth New York?"
"No, sir!"
r All that - clay the impertinent "tour
s:" seemed . to regard him with a puz
zle look, as if thinking, "'I wonder
n hat S'ri.Th'imt.-1 ail from, anyhow."
I could not L arcing my friend for
the following : dorm-Easter, evi
dently never so far from home before,
confided the astounding' fact that ho
had a son in the war, and followed it
u'p with :
"P'raps you know'd him." .
" What name ?"
"John Prince."
" Why, to be sure ; he stole the Cap
tain's watch,-'aid &settled just before
Malvern Hill."
it
"1 rifn I you don't ; say mto 1"
( fly
ex
claimed the poor man, mil II distressed.
" I never heard o'' that .e. Well !
Well! John allers was a willl chap, and
hain't never been home since the 'War,
though he writ us he got a rog'lar dis
charge ; and thou to think no went and
stole a watch."
"May be it was another man of the
same name," suggested my friend.
" Well, now, I nover thought o' that—
like's not 'twas. I swow ! I don't
bleve .John would 'a stole, though ho
alleys was wild.''
" Now I think of it," said my friend,
'the' John Prince I refer to had no
father living—so he cannot have been
your sou."
" Well, I'm glad to hoar ittrboug,h, to
tell the truth, John allers was a"—Here
the Shrill whistlo of the boat came to tho
rescue, and under cover of it my friend
got away.
I was mucli amused bye recant article
in the, ()ataxy. on "Otto Legged Men."
It must have been written by an indi
vidual of that class. L-at least the "prima
ie.ttitia" must have been furnished by
such a one. I know a one-armed veteran
of tho war, who, 'icing something of a
wag, often pretended to be dutiib when
with strangers, and carried a small elate.
Now and then, to• intensify the scone,
he had the remaining hand in a sling,
improvised with a handkerchief.- De
used to say he could build a soldiers'
home, fundlfng asylum' and an old' WO
man's hospital if the sympathy lie re
ceived -had a money value--even for two
cents on the dollar. Much of that sort
of sympathy, if it may called so, is
maudlin and unreal.
.I r t, is pftener
and impertinent curiosity. My soldier
often electrified . the inquisitive by de
scribing battles as the colored pictures
in shop windows portray theist—flags,,
hol scs„uflicers, men, cannon and espied
ing.shells mingled in picturesque eon
fusion, while in the for9ground the treat
General sits upon an Arabian steed
(standing upon his hind logs) and holds
his sword aloft, for all the world as if lie
knew smile photographic rascal. had hie
instrument leveled-on him at that pre
cise second, or that ft certain Gotigres
simial District of his own State already
had him in view. as their war candidate.
Ito w proudly, how scornfully- ho -gases
at the enemy advancing iti,,myriads,
and charging bayonets almcd under his
nose. He detles death himself, and, to
111ov° it, wears a dress hat arid eyaulettee
(Which, perhaps, never happened in this
country on the battle field, unless noel-
Inquisitiveness is tho 1,135 t prObf-Of
bad breeding. •Tho inquisitive man is a
human mosquito. Uls buzz is moro an
noying than the bite. You may brush
him away but ho returns from anothor
quarter. Thopnly, way, is to lot him
"light" Whenever he - will, and then'
.0 •
"Sqnoloh" him.
TUI
Ali I simnle.Diogenes I Exoliango thy
lantern--for a-calcium light and fortify
thy fading vision with Wohdroini lenses
that the , type Is extinct. God for
bid I I can imagine no conviction•more
satisfying to the human breast than that
a friend is near in whose keeping one's
nation as Well as his gold, is ,entirely
safe. lslo Christion is morB secure of
the Heavenly, inheritance than an honest
man, fpr i ho is Thor very embodiment of
'Christianity. • Though his hands he
hard, and hiS lames and elbows out, yet
ho is the living triumph of, the golden
hiving God and man, and doing
„good to the day of his death.-Doireit
ee Tram
JONES renews book-looping in' ono
lossOn ofp throe "words. "Novor • lend
tinn.". r.
TOMSON'S LEG. - -
Now this. is just what I said 'to my
young friend, ".why, look bore
Fred, I was once worse off..that yob by
far, for when I Started, a professional
man on my own hook, I waft what you
milk-and-water fellows main love, and
one way and another caloulatod and per
suaded myself that living would be
cheaper if I were married and set up
housekeeping, which of course proved a
fallacy. Well, I had to fight through it
all for years, while scarcely any' one
would come to the now doctor ; for we're
like barrister ; no one will employ
till we've made a name, and we can't
make 'a
name till people employ us, so
wo have to get over the paradox. us Vogt
we can. Yes, I've got -on, I know,'!
said I ; "but as I said before, I had my
probation to go through, and have' one
to my bed many a night with an aching ,
heart, to lay my hand upon a faee.at, my
side, and find it wet with tears. For it
is cheery work, Fred, being genteel on
next to nothing, and we two foolish
young folks made a Mistake in marrying
so soon, though I don't rsaliythink that
we over repented. '
- "You see we used to laugh at our
troubles as wo fought them dovrn, 'and I
was too bilsy to think, amongst my
patients who used to give me a lift, 'as
they called it, coming to me for
advice,' and then never thinking of pay
ing their bills. But a young doctor—
pay Or ho pay—must eight no - one.
"And that puts me 'hi mind of a case
that I had to do with. I dare say you've
often seen on the different railways, por
ters in the companions' livery, minus a
limb ; and I suppose you are aware that
the poor fellows lose thorn in hunting, or
while engaged in some duty about the
trains, and then, if not too much disabled,
are kept on afterwards to perform some
light office. Well, I had been given to
understand by our station-master that
the general manager of the Grand Junc
tion was much disgusted with the °Urges
of the ola petitioner here—dead years
ago, poor old chap—many a squabble
too we had ; and that if any accident
happened, I should be called in.
" Well, I was reading hard one even
ing in my surgery, to keep from think
ing of the unpaid baker's bill, when my
wife ruslioa ‘ in with sparkling eyes, and
an open letter in hot hand. 'Oh,
Charley, Charley l' she cried ; ' where's
your hat? there's a man with a leg
eruthed at tho station l'
." Nice thing to look pleased about,
my dear,' I said, taking the missive and
reading,' Como directly. Accident rit
Harley gate-house. Gate man fallen,
and down mail crushed his leg.'
" ' Why, it's not at the station, but at
the gate-house, two miles away.'
• " 'Oh, how tiresome ! and so late and
dark' said my wife. •
"'Not it I' I said, busily hunting
out some instruments. 'Don't sit up.
I shall get Phipps the druggist to go
wahine, for I dare say it will be an am
putation ease.'
"' I'm glad, and
. yet sorry, dear,' she
said ; 'but rehall sit up, and there shall
be some hot coffee ready, and—'
"'All right, gad bye,' I exclaimed,
cutting shbrt her speech ; and the next
minute was out on the road looking for
the messenger, but he had disappeared.
However, I sooti'huntscl out Phipps, and
with my case under my arm, walked
with him through the bitter, dark night,
as quickly as possible towards the gate
house.
"No, I didn't keep my- brougham
then ; and I don't think should now,
if it were not for the look of- the thing,
for there's endless trouble attached to it
—what with sick horses, and trouble
some coachmen, and wear and tear, I
don't know but what I would rather
walk after all.
"It was Just one o'clock when I got
bank to find a cheerful fire, and the
Odoriferous coffee Waiting ; :and being
tired and•vexed, I was rather glad to
haia my fur smoothed down in so pleas
siat'a way.
Hadn't you better „Tut the instru
ment ease in the surgery, my dear,'. said.
my wife in a hesitating tono, for I had
laid it dernm between the broad and but-
MEI
" ' You can if you liko,' I egid gruffly ;
I am too tired.'
She took the mahogany box with a
'shudder, holding it In her little apron,
and thon returned to pour out my Coffee.
".' How is the poor man, dear sho
said ' Did lie suffer much?'
" ' Not a bit,' I anid, grimly; 'bore
t like a hero.'
" 'l'm vory glad, vory glitcl; - '-ehe maid
earnestly. Was hie log broken V
'Smashed to utopia,' I said, and mho
shuddered.
"'Did you—did you—' , '
oft' the stump—yes,' I said
'clean oft' int, could be, and loft him in
bed.' •
There was another ahudder and a
pause. For it was an understood thing
that Eva WAS to - fight down - all the tim
idity, and endeavor to school, herself 'to
encounter uninoved the various littlo
matters that at times will fall under the
• r
notice of a country surgeon's wfe.
".I althost wish you had boon tboro,'
I said at last.
" ' Oh, Charley I how - eatvyou?'
" For it was a neat amputation, and
ought' to quite mako'rno a name.'
"I'm so glad Charley also said, and I
.will try to be firm, but I don't think that
I could boar to—to—to aeo--'
-" 4 Pooh, nonsense l' . I exclaimed,
4 Give mo another cup of 'coffee. 'Why,
you must learn to take an, interest in
such matters. I mean to make quite a
doctor of you ; andscoloro, I've brought
back the lacerated 'stump for you to
see / I can explain to you so much better
the veins, nerves, and arteries 'one cuts
through,' and as I spoke, I began 6 tug
at my pocket. ..,
" ' Oh, Charlie I' she imolaifined, as - I'
/
banged something down up 'ft tho table ;
and she covering ' her co with her
Imdds, jumped up. Pe ing that I bad
gone far enough, 'I her bands, in
mine. - - •
"'There, there I exclaimed. It'e
only-a joke, kdon't want you to be firm
enough for that. ; ..Whut a brute I are I
Bee-there, it's,nothing ; and I pointed .
to a piece of- splintered wood upon the
"For the fact was that I had been b . )
tome , extent Tripp enough,
Old Tonison v ithe gate-than, bad boon
,
•
•
knocked down by the train, through his
having been rather -late in opening hig
gates ; and the wheels had completely
'crushed his . leg, but fortunately it .was
the wooden one which re-placed that lie
had lost on the line, ioars before.. I
had passed him and seen the wooden
nuinberof times enough, but in the ex
citement of the moment it was entirely
forgotten, and I fully believed it wasla
bona fide ease of urgency. I was regu
larly tricked, but I took it all in good
part ; but mind you, I don't pretend to
justify the , coarseness of my language
towards her."
WHAT JOBII,BILLINGS Knows ABOUT
*TEMP.-41001S - are houses - Of - rofl46
the married man's retreat; the .batche
lor's paradise. Good landlords aro like
good step-mothers—they know their
business, and they do it. They knew
your wife's father when ho was
and your first wife—but they never men
tion her before your second. Hotels aro
connected 'ritinds with hash.
Hash is made of cast=off victuals, and
has done' more to nourish the present
generation than any other kind of mixed
food.. A nice little tender loin steak, a
few baked potatoeti, a coupki of pieces
of pie, some doughnuts, a few biscUits,
and—hash (hies very well for-breakfast.'
Many hotels aro kept on the European
plan, but-the majority of them on none
at all. Everybody knows what a hotel
room is like—how boiling ova with com
forts it is, and how it nfakes people who
occupy it think about home. It gener
ally measures about thirteen \ feet seven
inches by nine feet fair. Thereare two
pegs to hang clothes on--ono broken oil
and the other pulled out. The boll rope
is broken off just six inches beyond
reach. There are no curtains, for what
good could they be? , You couldn't see
out. The bureau has three legs, and
the looking-,glass hangs by ono pivot.
The bed is made of slats and a very thin
,mattress. You have to go in bedside
ways, and when you get in yefcgo dosyn
on the slats like a piece of beefsteak on
the bar of a gridiron.
TOE VALUE or A ,NEWSPAPER.—Tho
following is the experience of a mechanic
concerning the benefits of a newspaper :
Ten years ago I lived in a town in In
diana. On returning home ono night,
for I am a carpenter by trade, I saw a
little gii•l leave my door,'and• I asked
my wife who she was. • She said Mrs.
Harris had sent her after their news
paper, Which my wife had borroxed,
we sat down to tea my wife said to
me, by my given name :
"I wish you would subscribe for the
newspaper, it is so much comfort to me
when you aro away from home."
"I would film to do so," said I, "bat
you know I owe a payment on the house
and lot. It will be all I can do to moot
it."
She rep : 4
"If you Will take this paper, I will
sew for the tailor to pay for it."
I subscribed for the paper ; it came
in duo time to the shop. While resting
one noon, and Ipoking in it,, I saw an
advertisement of the county commis- .
sioners to lot a bridge that was to bo
built.
I thou put inn bid fortho bridge, and
the job was awarded to me, on whick I
cleared three hundred dollars, „winch
enabled me to pay for my houao/and lot
easily, and for the newspaper. If I had
not subscribed for the newspaper, I
would not have known anything about
the contract, and could notlave met my
payment on the house and lot. A
mechanic never loses anything by taking
a newspaper.
AN AMUSING SCENE IN A SPECIAL
TRAIN.-A gentleman of Portsmouth
hired a special train to carry him to
Boston on business, a fow-days since, for
the sum of CM When the train reached
rfewburypo t st, a clergyman from some
other city got on the train, as did several
other people, all supposing it to be a
regular train. The gentleman who hired
the train made no comments on the mat
ter, but very quietly allowed all who
wished to ride with him, but still being
on "his own plantation,!: so to speak,-ho
lit a 'cigar and commenced smoking.
Tliere were qpveral ladies in the car, with
sonic of whom our smoker was actin:tuft
ed, and of vt , hom ha asked permission to
"fume" a little. Tho minister-was highly
incensed tliereat, and after reading a
long homily on the evil effects of tob:icCo
branched off on the impoliteness to his
"felle-men and wiming" iu thus smut:,
ing Mit public conveyance. The smoker
said nothing, hut kept a most aggray.it
in silence, when the- minister became
enraged' and at artedTor the depot master
Mr. Goodwin, who coming in, told the
oecupaaff of the car that it BO been
hired by the gentleman who was using
the -wood, and looking on the scene With
not a little enjoyment. If the gentle
man wished to Eanolco, drink, chew or
stand on_his head the Wltolojeurney_le.
could (10-. so, and if the people in Oil) car'
did not like his style they could wait for
the rognlar train, which was coming on
behind. • The depot Blaster then railed
amid nota low expressions of surprise
and the entire disesernfiture of the offi
cious minister. •The clergyman had the
good sense to apologize-for his seeming
obtrusion,. the amends honorable being
pleasantly accepted.— Tra venol.
MDN'T HATE Toxas exchange
tells a story ore party,of surveyors, who
stopped ono night at a log cabin on the
Brazos, Their hostess soon afterward
invited Blom to supper, asking them, in
turn, if they'ivould have sugar in therty;
coffee.
"Yes," they replied. • •
"ltako mine very sweet," said ono
" And mine too," said another.,
- The lady smilingly acknowledged the
wishesirof wing - of her . - gueats, and pro
ceeded to pe.lir otit"tinksoMe 7 Suddenly
stopping, she looked gravely around the
table, and said :
"But, gentlemen, .1 liain't got a bit 'of
seigar 1"
..,: I .
A GEriTiAtuDIAN of somothingovor forty
years of ago, by the naino 'of Page,
found a young lady's glovo and handed
it,to Ley saying : '
"If from the glove you take the letter O,
The ginv . o le love, end, tiott,l glee to thee."
Hir answer was •
"If tromothe Page you take the 'attar 1'; •
Than rage to ago, had that lyorl't do for me."
UM
MI
NUMBER 12
1046 . ESTRAL ,WJBDOM. , 4II Pellniylva
nia, not many years ago, there dWelt the
,descendants of toter Van schrenliendyke
who had cleared his own farm, gOarded
carefully froth the attacks of the Indians,
and, willed it to hisC6n Jacob. The
farm was transmitted in gular order
from father to son; and at last became
the property of HOindrich Van Schren
bendyko.—a goojl natured; stolid Teuton
whose son, Johannes, a_brtglit, lively
youth of sixteen was told to satldlo the
horse and ride to mill with a g•t%ist and
..hurry hack. The grist on such 'occa
sions placed in one end of a bag, and a
large stone in the other end to balance it..
Johannes, having throwatheNtok across
the horse's-back-and-got-the-grist-evenly
divided, had no need of the steno to bal
ance it. Ho therefore ran to his father
and cried.' • •
-
"0 father, come and see . ; we don't
need the stone any more."
The old gentleman calmly. surveyed
the scene, and with a severely reproach
ful look said—
"Johannes, your Madder, your grand
fadder, and great grandfadder all wont to
do mill with the stone in one end:of do
pag, and do grist in do oddor. TJnduow
you a mere poy, sets yourself up to know
more as day do. You ptit de stone• in
do pag, and never more lot mo see such,
smartness like d at."
CUMNiI g It's no place for wo- .
mem" So said a young - busbana
Lawrence, I'll., to his wife a'few months
ago, when she, tired of. staying alone,
took her three little children to the bil
liard room and took a shat by his side.
" It's . disgraceful," said , ' - vii:Sß,looking
daggers at ben " I know it," continued
the injured wife, " and you haVe borne
the disgrace so long, my dear, that I am
dettmined henceforth to share it with
you," and she took out her knitting
work and settled down for the evening.
liar husband persi,led in urging her
to gq home. "I know it," said she,
"when you go, and not befiire." lie
was evidently a little disconcerted in his
playing, and went home a little earlier
than usual. The next evening the pro
gramme was all acted over agai . n. This
time the young husband wenn - mile a
little earlier than before, and carried the
billy hinnielf. This was the last time
he was ever seen in the billiard room.
"A QUEEn Scnoor, MAILM."—A little
gl.Tlin . „the South, old enough to attend
saliol, had never heard a prayer. A
missionary persuaded her to go to a
Union, Sunday school he had recently
started, and which was condncted by a
lady. When the little girl saw the
school., was opened with singing and
prayer, she slipped out and ran home,
saying, "Mother, mothei., we've got the
queerest sehool marm you ever saw or
hoard on. She sings songs and speaks
pieces in school, and the fun of it is, she
gets right down on her knees when she
speaks her piece."
The Sunday School Union might 'find
work for a few more of its pioneer mis
sionaries in that region.
A LITTLE girl remarked to her mamma
on going to bed, " I am not afraid ofThe
dadc. '
"No, of course you aro not,'" replied
hor'mamma, " for it can't hurt you."
" But mamma, I was a, little afraid
once, when I went to the pantry in the
dark to get a tart."
What were you afraid of r asked
her mamma.
" I was afraid I could not find the
EMI
0..0_
A STOLEN kiss saved a girl's life in
Fondulac, for if tho man who *did the
deed had not pulled her head forward
just as he. did, a beam, which fell from
the uppers floor, would have dashed her
brains out. Such, is the story, an 3 how.
And now the Fondulac girls, when in
gentlemen's company, cast their eyes
,furtively at the ceiling, and act .just as
if they would as lief have a beam 101 l as
not, if they were certain the 3 oung men
would pull their heads in time.
A LITTI,E eiz year old boy was asked
by his teacher to write a composition on,
the subject of water, and the following
is the production " Water is good to
drink, to swim in and to skate oh when
frozen. When I was a little baby, 'the
nurse used to bathe me every morning
iu water: I have been told that the th
juns don't themselves but once in
ten years. wish I was an Injun
A CLEVELAND man khows how' to en
the comforM of a home. yhon
he. Aces a book peddler or a sewing Ma
chino, m t an in. front; of his
box
touches up his face with a box or watel\r,
colors, in imitation of small-pox pus
tules, goes to the front &Coy, and then
laughs to.seo the callers try:tO breirk
tkeir necks in getting over tkozate and
fence:
.A saNsinufidioemakor,
princely foitulie by tho salo of an ox
•tensively advertised shoo, string of his
own invention; wrote his stanza, ' , which+ ,
now adorns IdWerest :
If you aro wise nwl xkit to tiro,
pitelertglat in and'ullvortleu;
II yul lire not, tlion sit Mown rut,
And lot y001'1.4110.. 17,11 to pot.
"So 119*ins, you're
Wall how do.you get, along?"
"Not so well as I hoped. My wife
preyious to our mar
riage, and it gratified Me exceedingly.
Sho now,giyes it to me every day, and it
doesn't gratify mo at all. '
.JOIIINNIrWrIS tolling his ma: hoW ha
was going to dress and show offwhen be
Was a loan: llis ma asked, '‘ Johnny,
what do y'ou expect to do for a living
when you.got to be a man" ."I'll get
niarried and lodge with my wife's pa..
d.rouxe man was enlarging to a lady
friend on the. character and qualifica
tions.ofayoung. lady, who was a mutual
acquaintance. Tho youth: wishing to
commend her goodnoSs with her heart,
laid his hand upon the region of his oWn
heart, and said ' She is allqght) !mi."
A KrmructtV girl says .when she dies
.sho desires to have tobacco planted ever
her grave, that the ITeea ,nourishod 1)y
-her atot may be chewed by her bereaved
lovers.