J. M. WEAKLEY.I
J. M. WALLACE.
CA BDS.
ADDISON NUTTON,
ARCHITECT,
532 Walnut Street, Philadelphia, Pa.
VAN?, DESIGNS, PERSPECTIVE
SPECIFICATIONS, AND WORKING .DRAWINGS,
For Cottngen, Farm Homes, Vlllaa, cook, llnunep,
Churchox, School lions.. FRENCII HOOFS.
27Ja0701y
N. A. ATWOOD. ISAAC N. RANCK
ATWOOD, RANCE: & 00.,
- - ..•
COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
Wholvanle dealers In nil kinds or
PICKLED AND SALT PISA
No. 210 North Wharves,
Above Itnee tbreel,
CHAWN
MAKES FINE I,IIOTOURAPIIS
At 21 Rresl ,Vain Street,
NEFF'S BUILDING
6J.703113
DENTISTRY 1
=
No. 68 East Miixtn strGet,
(them doers Merl of (I,rilner',,,Nlachine
Carlisle, Penn'a,
Will put In teeth from to 4 12 , ./ per
came nifty require. All work warruntell.
Mobil/
DR. GEORGE SEARIGIIT,
DENTIST,
Erma the Baltimore College of Dental Surger). Office
at the regiklence of Into mother, East Loth, strivt,
=
DR . 1. Y. REED,
110 ‘IIOI'ATIIIC
Ildt Mentor] in NOW° Office nrCt door to St
Pnul•n Evuotfolle tt Church, Wrut Louth, street
Pot itfrttit from it distance please roll io the foretemie
‘ iirnil. Ili •
D R. J S. BENDER,
130N1(li01'ATII PIIYSICI AN.
0111ro in the room I.l . CUril .l l by Col—lolin
Ue. ,16,113
DR. EDWARD SCHILLING,
For , turrly tri Dickiaxoti , towt,ltip. top. an lou,tuttutt
of Pr. Zitzer, ion Irate to infurot tooitiruu. ot
Otritttlo and ‘lcittity, that tut 11119 pertimgmotly lu
cAtetl in thin Plncu.
OFFICE PIO. 26 EAST romnwr STREET
MEI
E L. SIIRYOCK,
JUSTICE ok"rit u PEACE
OihrO, No. a 1❑1,1111 , e1 .
F E. - BELTZTIOOVER, - --
AlvoßN4y AT LAW.
OM, In South Hanover xtreet, oppoxip• Bentz's dry
goods etoro.
GW. NEIDICII, D. D.. 5.,
. DENTIST.
•
Late Demonstrator of Operative Dentistry of Ihr It:d•
thnorn Cullsge of Dental Surgery. itillea at his
deuce, opposite Marion Hall, Nt"t , gt. Unlu etttvel,
Pa. 111,tagi
H. F. HOLE.. ROBERT D. PORK. A. L. N 11181:MAN
JUIIA t. !MARTZ. NA. M. 110.1 .
Hw A,,,, v -v i y o imE m lN :iV j u t : CL Eßs CO l ., is ,
MANUFACTURED TOBACCO,
N. E. Cor. Thit:d and Market streets,
MU I,ADELPII T-A
WM. R. PARKER.
E[UhIRI A C T I T I oi & oz PARPRR, \
Mice un ]lrvin karort, In Marion 11,111, Otrikle. INcr2l
_ _
121ME!MIR
phi;Us, pgitVumEns, FANCY (MODS,
AND PATNNT NIEDIOINFA,
No 5 South Honor., owe&
1 turol)
11UTTON & McCONNELL,
UUNITtItI WARE It 0 0 M
No. 809 Market Street,'
\ tth , ll ,
PUILADIZLPIIIA
Parlor, Dining Rogin, and Chamber
FUR.NITU R ,
of the lama latiies and bust InAnornetur
VitATIIER BEDS AND MATTIIII:iSyS.
MEM
ISAAC K. BTAUFFER
WA 'I ES and JEWELRY,
Nn. LlB N :SEGOS D BTItE ET,
eot , •er of Quarry, Philadelphia.
Au au/forth...ft of Wateltou, Jewelry, Silver and
Plated WftTo eouutantly no 'mud
Oul'llepairing of Wotelote mid Jowulry promptly
Rtißlltled to.
178 opt 69 is
JPIES H. GRA44-A,lll, JR.,
ATTUItNEY AT LAW,
No. 14 South Hanover street,
CARLISLE, PA.
Mon adjoining Jodgn ',dn.'s.
2.1n11170
JOHN CORNAIAN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Oillen in boil intr attarlitool to Ono Franklin. Marl, op.
patine the Cella House. twee°
JOSEPTI RITNER,
ATTORNI AT LAW AND SURVEYOR,
Muchauloiburg, Pa. OUIVII 1111 Railroad noet, htq
duo& north of the 111111 U.
HUAlle.l prouiptly attooled,ta.
e j R. MILLER,
keronNEY AT LAW.
01111:o, No.lB South I fanny, 81,0., opposite (lour,store.
MC. HERMAN,
• A'I7OII.NE:Y AT LAW
No. :1,10101 , 111'0 MIL
P•
' , II. SIIAMBARGER, •
• JU -.T1 , 1: OF THE PEACE,
• Plainfield, WrKtponnrboro' tOu'utldp.
Cumberland County, rtlo'n,
All londnerx, antruxtril to Illm will mole° prompt
attontlon:'
BEM=
SHIRK & BRO
lI9MEI
EMI=
V Country Produce.
Curt
`ltud. Brst mien.. given.
And wholptialo degtors
Illgraneutd 11 , 91 , 0111 . iiy 1:1911
!cot street,
No. 1635 Iglu\
PHILADELPHIA.
loc7O
-QPAN GLER_&-WIL ON,
(411.1'ENTINIS AND STAIR BUILDERS;
,Curnor North ityl. Pitt xtreote,
.800 CARLISLI!ty l'A.
•
TATtArpS, •
V Y • DLODKS;
AND JEIVELDY
CI~ARLLB M. RdGERS,
G 6, South Hanover St., garlislo, Pa.,
liCoepe comtatitly au. bnud n. full 11.213Ortinont of
WATCHES, , - ,"
Of 0010,
JEl{ EILItY,
•
at tho lowest,onsh prices. Pnrticularnttentlon paid
toi the repolking of Watches, Clocks and Jowslor. ,
N. 8,-9iINNT 31 1 1810 consonti You loud.
Stioll94im
J. M. WEAKIjOt. • IV. F. BAISLICE.
WEAKLE ITOI I: & tNE S I A.. B D A L T T A t iv.
.A!
°Mee, 22 Soiith Ilettovor Area, nest, the' theid NVIII
Moen Monet. : , 10.e309
NcrILLIAN KENNEDY,
. ATTORNEY AT LAW.
'Onlee in Volunteer building . , Carlini°.
J. SHEARER,
•
W • 4tIVORNEY AT LAW.
Okee In northemt corner of the Court ' IOWO9
Wne t n ! BIRONEif - •
ATTOIINDY:AND 001JN9ELOII AT LAW.
• Fifth street below ghostaut, ,
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NATIONAL HOTEL
Tho midersigurd having takon and entirely ra
fitted and furnished tots hotel. is prepared to funds)
f.;t i r r` ht?, ' , ',' ! "° .; '' ,l!? r o ' n at o o f "l t l ho ' i l :trotiTg r o s t o o t' s tro k s ' ur i
rounding country ,travelling public solicited
Krems large ffn.l.,comfortalsio. Table always sup
plied with the best.
N. W. WOODS,
sonalo Proprietor.
Pi" "BENTZ HOUSE,"
(Pc».nierly qorman douse.)
No. 17 AND 19 EASVMAIN ST:,
The undtrslgned having purchased and entirely
refitted, nen furnished avow throughout with Urg
entcs turniture, thin well•knowu out old esiablkhed
!total. sollcita the iiusroin of tee community and
trailing nultilik Ile is o ell prepared to fuitilah
Oral-clash iteromnindatlons rho .I,lre to 'nuke
lintel th uir 'lame r pbmo.oc t. ;Joinery abode
Thu custom from the ml Leg outitry I. re
apeoltu Ily 0.1 trot, and attantlYr am
v nuts are engaged at Lids j” pular hotel,
Z BENTZ. Prorp'•
PHILADELPHIA
N. H. A lirst•ohoot Livery I. rOtinvetvil %%In the
Ilutxl the tothagement of Mr..M15.1.. STERNER .11
ill=
TRA E S' G VIDE.
pIiNNSYLVANIA RAILROAD
S MEE TIME T
Eight Trains (Daily) to and front Phila
• delphia and Pittsburg, and Two
Trains Daily to and from Erg
(Sundays excepted).
N and ft or •Sa. ntl y , May 29,
V 14 - .0, P. eug. 'fruitut - Itr - the Ito ...yin:tub
ititiituatt emu Ituy a 111 dt•luttt hoot tit khtirg
arrivt. ut Plii,adelph•tt an t :1 , 10i1.11i:
I=
2 10,—Philtdalphi... I.•
doily (I',Xe at 2.10 a. 10., uud urritex at
NV..st at a to a. at.
Ilarrailatrg (lath. (except
slravlay)nt 5,2 . a. to , and anivt.,, 01 %Vast 1 . 1.1.1.111.11-
pant a. I. 35 a. la.
Algona daily 4..xcepe 811111 my)
at 3 00 p arrive.. at Ilart At 0 lop. In.
II 12Pi•Illt . Exproc Itarrlol.onr daily
a, 11 12 p al., and ..a.cove, at II 04' Philadelphia at
55 p. nt.
nuts Esprasa laay.a Ilat4ialturg dal S.
at 10 15 p. heM
4 10 n.u.
Ilarriatntru Auctuututotiation Haves Altntib
(Sunda) axavpladt utt4 I' , n. w., anti arm,/ at Har
risburg atl2 i t p. nt.
mmtrg .15• tonualiti leavita Harris
burg at 3 Sn p. Iu.:1111i a.), a at P d
itt aalphia at
It 00 p m. •
altar Trslll, via )taunt .I,'v, leaves
11,.. lin Mtn) teorrpt -untidy) at s Ott a.t , and
arrive,' at II tat Phlladalpltia at 12 55 p tn. ,
4 17,-4 rie Fatt ‘‘rat. for 4:11,t, • i1.11V1 . 4 II:tr
rialatra daily ttoseat.t Satat)rat 4 03 p. nt., atartlitt
at Et iv at 7 25 a. at
IG la—eitaanuati Express ;rat vel Ilarrisburg dni!y
(a.crept .91alay) at 1 . 4 10 a. ra, mrlyeai at A 4,/ am al
4 lo n in notl amyl, at rittsburA al 11l I) .11.111.
2 40—htts'.10 - 2. 11<tret.n I'ar.a Ilitrianburg da:ly
(nsropt Stitplai) :/t 3 al a rrt clant Altoona at
ti 111 a M . Mk4.4 1 / I . l,lifiLlt, am) arrives at t`it . t.borg
at 24.1 p.ta'
4 10—Caritin Ex pr//na 101,0) llarrit/burg daily lit
2 0.1 n arrivt, at Alt rata at' 6 07 a. w , taken
In/v./kraal and arrwea at.l'luntatro-at it. 20 tt. na • ,
Fast. UM, 11032, r.4l.arg (exr , ptr/tandav)
at 11Lp. ta., Hy., at Altoona at 812 11 111, tah.
Happor ittal nnlv,n at Pittatairg at 12 12 watt.
11. 1 Trott It/a/a, Mutant, arg dally toacept San
/lay) at 1 tap in., at/rla as at A Itikinn 110 p.
Int, not pnr and'arrtynn at l'itt-tal g at 1 a. 50 p tn.
Way Po ../r/nanr ralll IM(V. 11 trranlatrg daily (na
e'pl atotala) at 7 45 a. pa, aril VO4 at. Altoona at
2 20 p. 111., and at l'itt/bur At 10 20 p. at.
8.-1311111, n. 111.101 i,
Sapt. 111/1/11t/ Dir. POW.. 11.
Itarrialturtr April 20, 10;11
I)MA DI G 11'1.11, 110A1).'
• -
=I
Malt an y, May 10, 1870.
CI REA t"rau. LINE Fl( 1110 North no d ,
.Nortb 15 . 11,4 for l tiladelph m, New IThrk, Saadi:Kg.
Pottsville, Tamaqua, Ashland, Shamokin, Lebanon,
Allentown, Elision, Ephrata, Litin, Lancauter, Co.
lumbie, ke., be.
Trains 111100 Harrisburg for New York no follows
at 516 -.10, 11.25 A. Y., and 2.60 0. a ~ connecting
with similar trams on Pennsylvania Sall Road,
and arriving at Now York nt 12.10 noon, 3.50. 6.05
and 1000 0 I'.. rospectlvely. Sleeping Corn accom
pany the 516 and 11.25 n v. , trams without change.
Returning : Leave Now York at 9.00, I. 51, 12.00
noon. nod 5.00 0 31., I'hilailelWA.4..ll.lLA,_sl_,
nod 3.30 I' Cl. , loping care eccomontly the 14.00
A x. , 02 5.4.4 v. 51. trains 110111 NoW York,
wlthoos change.
Ilarrlsbard for Heading, Poll wine, Dana.
.11.1.1. Minelevale. Ashlstl, Shamokin, Pion (Irate.
Allentown and Philath:lolls, ta 0.10 A. 0., 250
nod 4.10. P. 31., slopping at Lebanon untrpmnelpal
way shalom.: the 4.11) P x. train ran ttectidg tor
Pluladelphia, Pottsville. and Columbia .only. For
Puttsville. Selkuyll.lll [Jaren and Auburn, elot
. Schuylkill and Susquehanna Railroad, leave Ilarris
rburs at 2 40 P. M.
7. East Peanut vonin Ral/rond trains move Reading
.fur Allan t 00,,, 191-ton, nut! Now York nt 7.2 d, 1,214.
A 0., 1.27 nod 440 P. In. Itettonihg. lea": Now
York ut 11.01.1 12.00 noon :aid 6.111) P. 0., 2.11.1 Al.
lanton n nt 7.20 0. 0., 12.:5 1,011. 4.20 anti 0 4.1 e. u.
Way Passunger 'Pralu Wayne Philadelphia at 7 30
A. It., conneettug with eimilar train on Pento
Aykonia Railroad. returning Irimi Rending 01 0.V.5 P.
.4opplug at all Stations.
Le.", Nol tsville at 5.40 dud 01111 t, m., end 2. 0 9,
ti.. Herndon nt t. . Shamokin at 5.10. .1114 10 -
.40 a 01.. A.llllO 1141 on 705 A. M and 12 30 1.0011, Nl.l.
tinny Cat :a 7 51 .t. M. and 1.e7. td; 'few nom at'
'h ;‘ N, 111.11 1.1..:U I. tI , tor 1•101. i it.loloa nod Ne.•
York.
EE
'Leave Pottsville via Sebtlylkill and Susquehanna
Rail Road at 4.15 t. N fer Llarrihbure, and 1..0', nn in
tor Pine tiro, and nem lit
Rending Accaatumlati. a Trait), I.Att,At
at ..1() A AA. nt 7. tt A 31 ,lirriviitg
la I'l,llllllllollll 131.20 A. at. It.t.uralota,
NI It:1,1111 at A.' I)
I'. u, nrrirlag nt Pottsville at 11.10 r.
l'ottntutru At.e ]]]]] mottatitto Tralit, Ittavett felt
I.Ovvo at o.2ck A N. rt•turniug leavur l'htlatlttlititlx al
tat It. U.
i.l.Ambin. Road Trninr len,' }Owning at 7.2 U
A. 0., nud•O.l6 I 0. •tur lipltrata, I,ltir„ t..thea Ator
4Ulllllli/14.
- Purkioni. !tail Hunt! TrainB leave l'erKlntoign June
titan nt 1 , .U0 A Y. 3011 h.:.0 . to um
11111, Icavr. Coh3VIII.II6VIIII. .it 11,5 A NI , 12.45 noun,
and 4.15 it st., eon I.e. tin, with similar trains int
iteatilo; Ifni! Bond.
Cideltreoltdale Bailment trains leave Poll-town at
940 A Cl , and 020 I'.a re ne I.rg. leave Mt. !Lens
ant at 7 t 911111 II 25 A. 31., ettuncellug with itindiar
trains on Le Ming Rad Road.
Chester Valley Railroad indun leave Bridgeport at
14.30 n al.. and 2.05 and 5.02 I'. 0., returning, leas . .
Dos ningputin at 6.40 A. H., 1i.45 111.11, 11,15.15 it. IL;
coninteting with siuillar trahnt on lleadlag Bali hand._
tin eninlii) 11. Leave. Now York at 5.00 e.
at., Philatielphinat 0.00. n. 31. and 5.151'. si..(the 0.110
A. 31 train running only to Bending.) leave Potts.
elite at 8.001 31 leave Ifarrisbure at 635 A. ; and
4;10 P. It.. leave Albion, an at 7.25 A. 31., Hod 8.13
it. u, leave Rending nt 2.15 A. 51 awl 1003 it. 0..
for Hai rlsburg, af 7.23 A. a, (by New Vern, at 4,15
P. Cl (nit Allen tone, and at 9.41f5. 11. and 4.25 r, 31.
fur Philadelphia.
Commutation, Mileage, Sealant, lehool and Excur
sion Tieketr, to and from all polats,t rodue3d rates.
Baggage checked through; 190 ponittisullowed each
Passenger
111=
11. A. NICOLLS, Gun Au .
Itunlllu6+, Poi., May 10, 1870.
Manny; •
I=
CUMI3ERLAND VALLEY R. R
CHANGE OF 1101J10. -
SUMMER ARRANGEMENT. •
011 111111 after Monday, May 2,187 D, Tannenger
Trufna will run deity, an follows, (Sundays exceptad):
ACCOMMODATION TRAIN leaven' Harrisburg
, 51erhoulesbarg 8:35, Carlisle 14:11, N °walla
4h47, Shippensburg 10:20.Chambersbyrg 18:44, Greou•
castle 11;16,afrivilig_atllagerstuwit 11:45,A. AC
MAIL TRAIN leaves Ilarrisbtirg 1:38, P. m.,No•
ehanlcsburg.thull, Carlisle 2:40, Newville 3:15,8111p:
pensburg 8:45. Chaullansburg 4:20, theencantle 4:50,
arthina at I lagerstown 5:25, P
EXPRESS TRAIN loaves Harrisburg 4:15, 1 , at,
Mechanicsburg 4:47, Carlisle 5:17, Newville 5:20, Ship
penshurg 6:17; arrivlnl at t hunt borstal rg,6:45, r
A MIXED TRAIN leaves (31layibersburg 8:05, A AI
a reonbastle 0:15, arriving-at /lagerstown.lo:oo, AX.
• EASTWARD !.
) ACCOMMODATION TRAIN loaves Chrtiabersburg
5:00 A At, Shlpponsburg 5:20, Nevivilla. C:00, Carlislo
033, Mechanicsburg 7:u2. arriving IA Harrisburg
7:30,A 11.
MALL TRAIN leaves 11sgurstowii 7:00 A Id, Clreon.
misfit) 7:05, Chanibernnurg 8;18, .13hIppansbarg 8:40,
Nowvillo 0:10, Carllila 0:48, Mechanicsburg 10a:
tallying at Harrisburg 10:55, A. 31..
EXPRESS. TRAIN leaves llageratown 12:00 al,
Gramma/din 12:25, Cluunborsburg I:os,Rhippanaburg
1:37, Nowvillo 2:10, Car Halo 2:50, Dlochaniedburg 3:18 1
arriving at Ilan isburg 3:50,0 u.
A 'MIXED TRAIN loaves Hagerolown 3:05 rat,
Greencastle 0:12, arriving at Ohainbarabuig 5:05, p u.
Jar Making chum connections at Ilan lelairg With
trains to and Iron Philadelphia, Now York, Washing
ton„llaltimore, Pittsburg, and all Pnints Pleat
• • O. N. Lull,. Supt.
Suporinfondont'a Oglco , Chamb'g, April 30, 1870.
BPIOVACLEI3,
PURE ;LIQUORS, , IYI#ES &c
EW LIQUOR STORE.
„
•
- JOEIN If.AST , TO , ;
N. E. Cerr. 'Hanover and Plimfret streets.
~
(ow doors south opionts'a store.)
Bum Rye Whisky,' . . "
Best Common Whisky, .
Pare Holland UM,
Oippr Brandy, ,
Port Nino,
tli"rrY .J A ata Vin aten ' Rum,
' • Raspberry Byrup.
ChrimMilfm .
SIEMER' BITTERS ; INHOFE'S euld GLAbali
lbou7o • B/TTPIM
108009
HOTELS.
CARLISLE EA
O. RUBLE, PIiNN'A
titi)
=III
WI!3.STWAnD!
THE HOLY BIBLE.
Study it carefully,
Think of it prayerfully, ,
Deep In thy heart lot its pure precepts dwell!
Slight naps history,
Pc whit:lts mystery,
None can e'er prim It too fondly, or well
Accept the glnd tiding;
Tho warninge and chidingn;
Found In thin voltuno of heavenly lore; •
With faith that'a unfailing,
And lovu all provalling,
Trust in Its promises of life evermot 0,
With forvetit devotion,
And tluitidtful emotion,
Ilene the blest welcome, respond to Its ttIl!
I.l . le'spufent
The henree letoratiou,
Give to the atviour, who died for no all
May thin Ithoodng of love,
Front the Triune above,
To all nations toil kindesd ho given,
Till the illasonied shall ridge,
Joyous authems . of
nisi) I on earth [mud In hiaven.
THE BOX TUNNEL
=I
AN OLD BUT UOOD STORY
The 10.15 train glided from Padding
ton, May 7, 1847. In the left compart
ment of a ofirtain first-class carriage
were four passengers ; of these, two were
worth desMiption. 'The lady had a
smooth, white delicate hrow,: strongly
marked eyebrows, long lashes, eyes that
seemed to charge color, and a good-sized,
delicious mouth, with teeth as white as
milk. 'A man could not see her nose fOr
her oyes and mouth, but her own sex
could and whetild have told us some non . -
sense about it. She wore an unpretend
ing, grayish dress bettoned to the threat
witlt lozenge shaned buttons and a
Scotch spa vlthat agreeably evaded the
responsib . ity of color. She was like a
duck, so tight her plain feathers fitted
her; and there she sat, smooth, snug and
delicious, with a book in.her hand and a
soupcon of her snowy wrists just visible
as she held it- Her opposite neighbor
was, what I call, a good style of man—
the more to kus credit, since ho belonged
to a corporrinan'•that frequently turns
out the worst imaginable style of young
men. lie was a catalry officer, aged
twenty-five. llc had a moustache, but
not a repulsive one ; not one of those
sub-easal pigtails, on which soup is sus
pended like dew on a shrub ; it was short,
thick, and black as a coal. Ihs teeth
had not yet been turned by tobacco
juice ! his clothes did not stick to, nor
hang on him, they gat on him ; he had
an engaging smile, andOkhat I liked 'the,
dog for, was his vanity, which was inordi
nate, and in its proper place, his heart,
not in his face, jostling mine and other
peo - Ple's .who have • none ; in a word, he
was what one oftener hears of than
meetc—a young gentleman. Ile was
conversing in an animated whisper with
a companion, fellow-officer—they were
talking_ aheut,_ what iLisifalf hotter not_
is do, women. Our friend clearly did
not wish to be overheard,, for he cast,
ever and anon, a furtive glance at his
fair ris-a-ris and lowered his voice. She
seemed_ _completely absorbed in her
hook, audthat";:e-assured him. At lea
the two soldiers came down to a - whisper,
and in that whisper, (the truth 'must be
told,) the one who got down 'at Slough
and was lost to posterity, bet ten pounds
to three that ho who was going down
with us to Bath and immortality, would
_not kiss either of the ladies opposite,
upon the road. " Done !'Done !" Now I
am sorry a man I have hitherto praised
should have lent himself, even in a
whisper, to such a speculation ; but
"nobody is wise at all hours," not even
when the clock is stricking five-and
twenty ; and you are to consider his
profession, his.good looks, and tho temp
tation—ten to three.
After Slough the party was rediiced to
three ; at Twyford one lady dropped her
handkerchief ; Captain Dolignan fell on
it like a tiger, and returned it like a
lamb ; but two or three words were in
terchanged on that occasion. At Read
ing, the Marlborough of our tale made one
of the safe investments of that day ; he
bought a Times and a Ps ark ; the latter
was full of steel-pen thrusts and wood
cuts. Valor and beautS , deigned to
laugh at sonic inflated humbug or other
punctured by Punch. Noss laughing
together thaws our human ice ; long
before Swindon ibfwas a talking match
Swindon who so devoted as Capt.
Dolignan—he handed their out—he
souped them, he tough-chickened them
—he brandied and chocliinealed one, and
he brandied and burnt-sugared the other.'
On their return to the carriage, one lady
passed into the inner Compartment to
inspect a certain gentleman's scat on that
side of the lino.
You haVri seen a dog meet an unknown
female of his species ; how handsome,
how empreBse, how e..6ressive he
becomes • . was Dolignan after §win
dol, - - anci, to do the (log justice, he got
hajdsomer and handsomer; and you
1 e seen a cat conscious of approach
cream—such was Miss . Iraythoru ;.
she became demurer ; presently our Cap
tain rooked out of the window and
laughed; this elicited an inquiring lobit
from Miss Thiythorn. "We are only a
mile from the Box. Tunnel.)' "Do you
always laugh a mile fromthe Box Tun
nell"' said the lady..,
" ravirial3l3l.". ,
"'Whiit, for?" •
' I
olco;" ,, f• ••••••-' '''''
"Oh, I (I°ll3 mind its being silly if it
makes me . laugh." Captain Dolignan,
thus encouraged, recounted to Miss
Haythorn the following : A lady and
her husband sat together going throng];
the „Box Tlinnelthere was one gptle.
• : .
man -opposite ; it, was. pitch dark ; after
the tunnel the lady said, "George, how •
absurd of you to salute me going through
the tunnel?" . "I did no such thing
c't YOll didn't ?" "No 1 Why ?" "Why,
beeauso somehow I thought you did 11 1
Here Captain Dolignan laughed, and
endmriored. to load his companion to
laugh, but it was not' to be done. Th
train ontored.tho tunnel.
Miss Ilaythorn." 1".
Dolignan—" What is tho.matter ?" .
Miss Ilaythorn—" I am frightened."
"'Dolignan—(moving, to her side)—
"Pray do not be; alarmed, I am' nearyou."
Miss. Haythorn—.‘ You. are noun ino;
very near me; indeed,7;-CaPtainHolig
,,,
.--Dolignan--''You know-niy, name P.,.
Meg H4thorn---"llioard yotir.fr!oad
ruontiou Iyrish wo ..woro out oi.this
'dark place: • ' ' • '
tm,:Oontont to
CARLISLE, PENN'A, - TH URSDAY, JUNE 9,-.1570.
r --
spend hours here re-assuring you, sweet
lady." •
Miss Haythorn—"Nonsenser •
Doligntin—" P weep I" (Grait reader
donot put your lips to the cheek of the
next pretty creature you meet, or you will
understand what this moans.) •
Miss Haythorn—" Ee 1 , E0.! Po !",
Friend— "What is the matter?"
Miss Haythorn-H' Open the dooy
open the door
There was a sound of hurried whis
pers, the door was shut, and the blind
pulled down with hostile sharpness.
If any • critic falls on me for putting
inarticulate sounds in a a ialogue as above,
I answer with all the, insolence I can
COMThallft at present, " Hit boys as big' e
your Self," bigger, perhaps, such as So
phocles, Euripides and Axistophanes,
they began it, and I learned 'it of them,
sore against my will.
Haythorn's scream lost part of
its effect, because the engine whistled
forty thousand mittders at the saine mo
ment ; mid fictitious grief make's itself
heard when real cannot.
Between the tunnel and Bath your
youte friend had time to ask himself
whether his conduct had been Marked
by that delicate reserve which is supposed
to diStinguish the perfect gentleman.
With a long face, real or 'feigned, he
held open the door—his late friends at
tempted to escape on the 'other side—
impossible ! they must pass him. She
whom he had insulted, (Laths for a kiss,)
deposited - Somewhere at his feet a look
of gentle, blushing repi•oach ; the other,
whom he had not insulted, darted redhot
daggers at him froM her eyes, and so
they parted.
It was„perhapm, fortunate for Dolig
min that he had . l7e grace to ho friends
with Major iloskylis, of his regiment, - a
veteran laughed at by the youngsters,
for the .Major-was too apt to look coldly
upon billiard balls and cigars ; lie had
seen cannon balls and linstocks. lie had
also, to toll the truth, swallowed a good
bit of the mess-room pokey but with it
some sort of nioral, poker, which, made it
impossible for Major lioskyns to descend
to an ungentlemanly word or action as to
, i brush his own trousers below the lcnee.
Captain Rolignon told this gentle
man his story in gleeful accents ; but Ma
jor lioskyns heard him coldly, and as
coldly answered that he had known a
man lose his life for the same thing.
"That is nothit 4 4continued the Major,
" but unfortu to 'he deserved to lose
At this the blood mounted to the young
man's temples, and his senior, added " I
nemi to say The was thirtydivo ; you, I
presume, :a re' t I L.Y= 011 e "
"Twenfy-five."..
"That is much the same thing ; you
* will be advised by me,-
"If•you will advise mc." •
"Speak to
,no one of this, and send
White tho £3, that he may think you
lost tho het." -
"That is hard'when I won it."
Let the disbelievers in Immanperfecti
bility know that tide dragooitu capable of
a blush, did this itiutuorts action, albeit
with violent reluctance, and this was his
first da m per. A week after these events
he was at a ball. He was in that state
of factitious discontent which belongs to
us amiable - English. lie was looking in
vain for a lady equal in personal attrac
tions to the idea he had formed of George
Dolignan as a man, when suddenly there
glided past him a most delightful vision !
a lady whose beauty and symmetry took
him by the eyes—another look : "It can't
bel Yes it is !" Miss Ilaythortr! (not
that he knew her manic !) but what ala
apotheosis '‘ • '
The duck had become a pea-hen—ra
diant, dazzling, she looked twice as beau
tiful and almost twice as large as before.
lle lost sight of her. Ile found her
again. She was so lovely she mado him
ill—and lie, alone, must not dance with
her, or speak to her. If he had been con
tent to begin her acquaintance in the
usual way, it might have ended in kiss
ing, but having begun with kissing it
must end in nothing. As she danced, -
sparks of beauty fell front 'her on all
around, but him—she did not sue him ;
it was clear she never would seo him—
One gentleman was particularly, assidu ,
ous ; she smiled on his assiduity' he was
ugly, but she smiled on him. Dolignan
was surprised at his success i ;his ill-taste,
his ugliness, his impertiuenee. Dokignan
at last found himself injured. -
" Who was this man? and - what right
had he to go on so? ll i had never kissed
her, I suppose,'" said, Dolly. Dolignan
could not prove it, bUt lls felt that some
how the rights of property were invaded.
Bo went home and dreamed of Miss
Ilaythorn, and hated alltheugly success
ful. Bo spent a fortnight trying to find
out who this beauty-W.14-110 never could
encounter her . again. At last he, heard
of. her in this way: a Lawyer's clerk,
paid him a little visit, and commenced it
,little action against him, in the name of
Miss llaythorn, for insulting her in a_
railway train. '
The young gentleman was shocked ;
endeavored to soften tine lawyer's clock ;
that 'machine did not thoroughly compre
hend the moaning of the term. The
lady's name, boirever, was at last re
vealed by this untoward
L incident ; from
her name totter address was ,but a short
Atop ; and the same day. our crestfallen
-hero lay in wait at her door, and many'a
succeeding day, without any effect. But
one Fine afternoon she issued forth quite
naturally, as if* she did: it every, day and
walked briskly on the nearest parade. "
Dolignan did. the same ; Ito met bud pas
sod her many times on the • parade, and
searched fou pity in her eyes, but found
neither look - nor reco;pition, nor any
other sentiment; for all thisrshe walked
and walked, till, all' the other promena
ders wore tired and gone-r-then her. cul
prit summoned resolution, and taking oft
hie hat,, with a voice &emulous, for the
first time besought perMisSion to address
her. 81m:stoPped, , blusbek and neither
acknowledged or disowned his acquaint
ance. He blushed,:starnmered out how
ashamed he was ''that he wasipunished,
and how little she know how , unhappyhe
was and concluded by begging Minot
to lot All the world know the:disgrace of
a nian Wife Va;s' alniadY MOqifled enough
by the loss 'of =lisr "acqUainance. She'
asked an explanation •,ho,told her-of the
'Octien that bad -been'cammenced 'in her.
game;, she gently shrugged , her shdul
ohs M . ul'said HOW stuPid ihoy aro I":
gmlioldened by this; he begged tolcnow
whether or not a life of, distant, unpro,
tending devotion would, after 'a lapse of
years;. erase the memory of his madness
.—his mime.
She did not know 1
Shomust now .bid dnim adieu, as she
had some . prepaiations . to make for a ball
in the Drescent, where everybody *as to
be.. They parted, and Doliguan deter
mined to be at the ball whore everybody
was to be. 'He was there, and after some
time he obtained an introduction to Miss
Haythorn, and he danced with her. -Her
manner was gracious. Ny t h the Won
derful,taot of her sox she seemed to have
commenced the acquaintance that even :
big. That night, for the first time, Do
lignan was in love. I will spare the
reader all a loVer's arts, by which ho suc
ceeded in dining where she dined, in
dancing where she danced, in overtaking
bei by accident when she rode. His de
votion, followed her , even to church,
where our dragoon was rewarded by,
learning there is a world where they
neither polls nor smoke—tlp two capital
abominations of this one.
lie made acquaintance with her uncle,
who liked him, and lid saw . at, last, with
joy, that her eye loved to dwell npon
him,, when she thought he did . not ob
serve her.
It was three .months after the Box
Tunnel that Captain Dolignan ealle'dmne
day upon' Captain Baythorm R. N.,
whom he ]pad met twice in his life, and
slightly propitiated by violently listening
to a cutting out expedition ; he called,
and in the usual way asked permission
to pay his address to his - daughter. The
worthy straightway began doing quar
ter-deck, when suddenly he :was sum
moned from the apartment by a Mys
terious message. On his return he
announced, with a total change of voice,
that "it was all right, and his visitor
might rdn alongside as soon as he chose:"
My reader has divined the truth ; this
nautical' commander, terrible to the foe,
was in completer'iiiid happy subjugation
to his daughter, our heroine.
As he was taking leave, Doliguan saw
his diviinity glide into the drawing,
room. Hefollowedller;observed a sweet
consciousness c:11 encouraged liim ;
that consciousness' deepened into colt
fusion—she tried to laugh, she cried in
stead, and then she smiled again, and
when lie kissed her hand at the door, it
was " George" and " Marian," instead
of Captain this, and Miss the other. A
reasonable time after this, (foi• my tale bi
mercifill and skips formalities and tor
turing delays() - those two were verybappy .
—they were once more upon the railroad,
going to enjoy their honeymoon all by
themselves. Marian Dolignan was d resscd
just, as beforeduck-like, and doricions,
all'bright, except her clothes, but George
sat beside her this time instead of/oppo
site
; and she drawl:-him in gently from
under her long eyelashes "Marian,"
said George, " married 'people should
tell eaelf other all. Will you ever fotive
one if I own to youno—."
"Yes, yes 1" •
---J.LW-e11,..ther0,410 Toro ember the BoX
Tunnel (this was the first allusion he had
ventured to it ;) "I mini ashamed to say I
had bet ~ 2 3 to £lO with White, I woula
kiss one of you two ladies" ; and George,
pathetic externally, chuckled within. •
" I know that, George ; I overheard
you," was the demure reply.
" tth, you overheard I,pe ! impossible."
"And did you not hear me whimper to
y companion? I made a het with her."
" You made a Ihet? How singular !
What wag it ?"
"Only a pair of gloves, George,"
" Yes, I knoW, but what about it ?"
" That if you did, you should be my
husband, dearest."
"Oh 1.--but stay. 2 !then you could not
have been so very angry with me, love ;
why, deareSt, then,' who brought, that
Action against me?
Mrs. Dolignan looked down.
" I was afraid you wera forgetting me,
George. You will never CM-give ine?"
----" Sweet angel ! "%why, here is the Box
Tunnel !"
Now, reader—fle,• no ! no no such
thing ! You can't 0:peel: to bo indulged
in this way every time we come to a dark .
place—besides, it is not the thing. Con
sider, two sensible married people—no
such phenomenon, T assure you, took
place.. No scream issued in hopeleSs
rivalry of the engine this time !—CharleN
R,'ade. 0 „
A I.3An COUNTIM_F , I„ s„„ -d La i iy
riddle says a wayfarer wont into the
Oceidentrallotel in taut place a short
thno,shwe, to get a square meal. Hav
ing planted himself in a chair at one of
the tables, he was confronted by
waiter with,
"-What will you have
The hungfy ohe fastvued.Ais4veiy r ou
the waiter an Kaid:
" what have you got tiktt^ gooa
" Oh, we've roast beef, cooled , beef,
roast mutton, fried ham, and boded
enylow." .
" What tho deuce is curlew ?" said the
strailgoC.
" Curtewirliy curlew is a bird, some
thing like a snipe,"
"Did ally
" Did it hare wings ?"'
.
"'then --- I - don't - want - any — curlew in
'nine. Anything that had wings, 'and
didn't leave this country, I don't want
for dinner" .
' A'AnCtoi• in Ohio writhe rto his fathoi
thus:
"Dear Daddy: . Iconcludod Ido •cum
down and git grinded into a Doctut•. I
hardly don't think I was in more than
8 hours, aforO out I cum as ellOk, a wun
as over was seem.' '
Halo Colullaby happy land
If I ain't a Doctur, be lianghtl:l .
I 'pules, I -purgcs, and I sweats
Thou,' if they di, vii- 7 - 7 th in I lets .'em.
. I gets plenty of eustup, because they
says .. they, dine Oozy. When -you yito,.
don't' forget to 'put Dootur afore illy
uamO:".. • • • .
=I
A Wonian is like' ivy—the more, you ,
are ruined' the closer she clings to you.
yllo old
,bachelor adds, "Ivy is likO
woman—the more it, clings to you the
more, you nre ruined.", Poor' rule that,
won't work both ways.
"This tough • stook nuticos inc; think
of .afamous old English pogt." 'that's
quogr.': ;What pciot dons it mho you
,think 0f?,," , •:
LINES ON A. G. BUELINGAME.
BY :TOBN CI, WIIITTIpt
The • following. Benutiful f lines were
written for thafuneTal obseguins of Mr.
Burlingame, by John L Q. Whitt*.
the many inautiful things penned by the.
great. "Poet of Freedom," none aro more
true and touching than these lines :
With silence only as their benediction,
God's angels come,
Where in the shadow of a great affliction
't he soot sits dumb.
Yet would we Now what every heart appravella
dtthor's will,
6itllnti - Colita the daer ,nen whotalhe lot etti,
In meray
Std, upon us, or our?, tlp• snkeinci angel
Rath evil wron4ht,
The funeral author], in a glint evinngol,
Tbn gaud die not.
God calls our loved oned, but we 10.0 nut wholly
Whitt he L a n given.
They Ilse On earth in thought and 411.1M1X u. truly
At In Ills heaven.
FORTUNE CIUAIYGES.
=1
• .
One of the curious features of Pacific
coast life is the startling uncertainty that
marks a =VS eareerin'the mines. , He
May spring from poverty to wealth so
suddenly.as to turn his hair white, ana
then, after a while, lie may become poor
again so suddenly as to make all that
white. hair fall off, and leave his head as
clean as a billiard ball: The groat Ne
vada silver excitement' of ;08 2 50 . was
prolific in this sort of vicissitmles.
Two brothers, teamsters, did some
hauling for a man in Virginia City, aid'
had to take a small segregated Portion'of
a silver mine in lieu of $3OO cash. They
gave an 'outsider a third to open the
mine, and they wont on teaming. But
not long. Ten months afterward the
mine Was out of debt, and paying each
owner $B,OOO. to $lO,OOO a month—say
$lOO,OOO a year. They had that hand
some income for just about two years—
and they dressed in the loudest kind of
costumes and wore nighty diamonds,
and played poker for amusement—these
men who hail seldom had $3O 'at one
time in all their lives before. One of
them is tending bar for wages, and the
other is serving his country as comman
der-in-chief of a street car in San Fran
cisco, at $75 a month. He was very glad
to gel that employment too.
One of the earliest nabobs that Nevada
was delivered of, wore $(l,000 worth of
diamonds in Iris - swore ho
waslinhapp,flJecattse he couldu3 spend
his money as fast as he inadd it. But let
us loam from him that persistent effort
is bound to achieve success at last.
secure,"for he had not a.cent to spend.
Another Nevada nabob -boasted an in
come that often reached $lO,OOO it 'month ;
audlie_used_to love td tell how he had
worked in the very mine that yielded it,
for five dollars a day, when ho first came
to the country. Three years afterward
ho attained to, the far more exceeding
grandeur of working in -it again at four
The silver and saga-brush StateTaTi
knowledge of another of these pets of
fortune—lilted from actual poverty to
affluence almost in a single night—who
was able to offer $lOO,OOO for a position
of high official distinction, shortly after
-wardr and- did - offer - R=4l . dd - a -little over
a year ago a friend saw him shoveling
snow on the Pacific Railroad for a-living
away up on the summit of the Sierras,
some 7,000 feet above the-level of com
fort and the sea, Tho friend remarked
that it must be pretty hard work, though,
as the snow was twenty-five feet, deep, it
promised to be a steady job, at least.
" Yes," he said, "he didn't mind
it now, though a month or so ago, when
it was sixty-two feet deep, and still
snowing, he wasn't so imam attached to
Then there was John Smith: That
wasn't his name, but we will call him
that. He was a good, honest, kind
hearted fellow, born and reared in the
lower ranks of life, and miraculously
ignorant. 110 drove a team, and tho
team belonged to another man. By-and
by he married an excellenßwoman, who
owned a small ranch—a ranch that paid
them a comfortable living, for that it
yielded but little hay, what little it, did
was• worth front :ft :250 to $3OO in
gold per ton in the' market. Presently
Smith tradeita few ktere's of ranch for a
small undeveloped silver mine in Gold
llill. Ho opened this mine and. built f
little unpretending tem'Stitum miib
Eighteen months afterward he quit rais
ing hay, for his mining income had
reached a most comfortable figure. Some
people said it Was $30,000 a month, and
others saida was $OO,OOO. Smith was
very rich anyhow. He built alionseotit
in the desert—l'ight in the' mostforbid
ding iiootherwise howling desott—and
it was curt:folly reported that; the house
cost him a quarter of a million. Possi
bly that was exaggerated somewhat, •
though it certainly was a 11116.110118 e, and
a cost Mt. ono. The bedsteads cost $4OO or
s3oo4ieco. And then the Smiths went
to Europe and traveled. And when they
cairn) back, Smith was neyor- tired of
telling about the 'tine hogs ho had soon
inEngland, and the gorpons shcpp ho
had seen in Spain, and the.fino cattle ho
had noticed iii the vicihity of Roma. le
was full of th w
e onders of the Old World,
and advised everybody to travel. lie
said a man novel imagined what Sur 7 .
prising things there were •in ki) world,
till lie had traveled. Ono lay, on board
the passengers made np a pool of
$lO, which was to be the'property'of
the. man who should 'borne nearest to
guessing the run of the Vessel for the
next twenty 7 four horns. •Nest day, to-
Ward noon, the figures' wore all in the
purser's hands in soated ' envelopes,
Smith was serene and happy, 'for he had
been bribing the , engineer. But another
party won the prize I 'Smith said :.
"Hero, that won't dol Ho guosed
two milei wider of the *lark than Idict."
Tho" said Smith,. you
missed it father than any man on hoard.
We travelled 208 miles yesterday.
"Well, sir," said Smith, "that's just
whore Pilo ''got you, for I' guessOd 200.
If you'll look at my Jiggers again, yint'll
find a two and ;two naught.s, wliicli stands
'for 200, acet, it ik4and after
.'ennr
find a nine k 2000), which
r stands for.two
fillindrecl and nine., I reckon take
that.- Money,, if , Yon' ptenSe.".'-' , Well,
Smith . Is dead , and whini
,ho died ho,
wasn't Worth a tent.: . • '
The reader has heard of the great,
Gould Gum ruleo of Nevada.
I believe -its • shares ire still quoted in
the** sales in the New York papets.
The claim comprised 1,200 feel, if I re ! .
memberiightly, ormaybe it was 800—
and I think it all belonged, originally, to
two men .whose, names it bears. 'Mr.
Curry., owned tvio-thirdsof it—and-he
said that he sold it out for $2,000 in cash,
and :in old plug horse that ate. up his
market value ill hay. and barley in 17
days by the watch. And ho said that
Gould sold out for a pair of second-liand
government blankets "a,nd a bottle of w is
key that killed nine men in three hours,
and art mfoffenditig stranger that smolt
the cork Was disabled for life. Four
years afterwards the mine thus disposed
of was worth in the San Francisco 1003T
ket $7,000,000 in-gold coin.
In the early days, a poverty-stricken
Mexican, who lived in a canon right
back of Virginia City, had a stream of
water as large as a man's wrist trickling
from the hillside on promises. The
Ophir Company segregated 100 feet'of
their mine and swapped it to him for
the stream orwater. The 100 feet proved
tohe the richest part of the mine ; four
years after the swamp, its market value
(including its mill) was $1;000,000. I.
was down in it abont,that time, 000 feet
under the ground, and about half of it
caved in over my head—and yet, . valu
able as that property was, I Would have
given the entire mine to have been out
of it. Ido not wish to brag—but I can
be liberal, if On take me right.
An individual who owned twenty feet
in the Ophir mine before its great riches
were revealed to men, traded it for a
•horse, and a very sorry looking brute he
was, too., A year afterward, when Ophir
stock went up to $3,000 a foot, this man
who had'nt-a cent, used to say he was
the must startling example of magnifi•
sense and misery the world bad ever
seen—because he was able to ride a $6O
- horse and yet had to ride him bare
back because he could not scare up cash
enough to buy a saddle. • ll° said if for
tune wore „to give hini another $60,000
horse it would ruin him.
DON'T GET DLSWO URAG ED
Don't, get discouraged. Who ever
gained anything by drawing down the
corners of his mouth when a, cloud came
over the sun, or letting his heart drop
like a lead weiila, into his shoes when
misfortune came upon him ? Why, man,
if the world knocks you down and jostles
past you in its great race, don't sit whin
ing.under people's feet, but get up, rub
your elbows, and begin again. There
are sonic people whom even to look at, is
worse than a dose of, chamomile tea.
- What if yoe du happenyi get a little
puzzled on the dollar , and cent question!
Others - beside you have stood in exactly
the same spot, and struggled bravely oat
of it, and you aro neither halt nor blind
that you cannot do likewise. The
weather may be dark and rainy ; very
well, laugh between the drops, and think
cheerily -of the blue sky and sunshine
that will surely come to-morrow. Bust
-neslinay_ko dull onalto the best of what
you have, and look forward to something
more hopeful. If you catch a fallpn't
lament over your bruises, but be thntk
ful•that no bones were broken. If you
can't afford roast beef and plum pudding
eat your codfish joyfully, and bless your
stars for the indigestion and dyspepsia
you thereby escape. But the moment
you begin to groan, over your troubles
and count up your calamities, you may
as well throw yourself over the docks and
be • done with it. The luckiest fellow
that ever lived might have woes anough
if he set himself seriously to . work look
ing them up. They aro like invisible
species of dust—you don't see them until
you put on your spectacles. • But then it
is not—worth , witile to piaron your specta
cles to - discover'wliat is a great deal bet
ter let alone. •
Don't get discouraged little wife
Life is not long to spend in inflaming
your eyes, and red4ip 4 ting your nose, be
cause the pudding‘won't Like, and your
husband says the new shirts you worked
over. so long "set like meal bags."
Make another podding—begin the shirts
anew. Don't feel down in the mouth"
because dust will settle, and clothes will
wear out, and crockery will get broken.
Thing a wonnuls Ain't procure you an
xcoption from trouble and care ; fight
the battle of life as well its your hus
band, and it will' never do to give up--
without a bold struggle. Take things
as they -Come, good and .bad tog-ether,
and whenever you feel inclined to cry
just change your mind and laugh. Keep
the horrors at arm's length, never turn a
blessing round to see if it has got a, dark
side to it, and' alwaysfake it for granted
that things are blessings until they prove
tote something else..
Never allow yourself to got discour
aged, and - you'll find the world-a pretty
comfortable place after all.
flee You - stepping upon" the threshold
of ? Secure foryourself a good moral
charact,Cr. Without virtue you cannot
bb restiectod ; without integrity you can
never rise to distinction and honor,
Tho ino4gontlo authority will somo
times frown without reason, and , the
most cheerful submission: will sometimes'
nriirmuravitholit cause . ; and suchis.the'
law of. our imperfect nature,•, that we,
111114_ oonimand_or_oboy,
]light , hard againSt hasty temper.-
Anger:will come, but resist it strongly.
A spark may set a house on fire. _ A flt
of passion may give you causo to mourn .
all the days of your life.
Old,Shafor, of Pririo Rondo, 'Califor
nia reported a very fah: growth of corn
last season . ;ll.o. _stated :that bill July it
WaS'tio dark between the rows , that he
was obliged to carry a lantern to soo to
plow it out 1 • . -
John Smith, in Nebraska, said' ho'
could handle, a rattlesnake' same as a
snako charmer. ; Tho duly' lishness of
.
the undertaker in demanding iiay in
advanco delayed`9le funeral four days.
, • -
, Au. ,afilloted . husband was ..roturning
from - tho..funeral ~ef his wife, when a
friend asked him how he was. 'I think
I, fool bettor, for. that. littio walk; ,
":Stop in . no path;' inio'alc no word com
mit no act,' when consciono appear4f i to
Whispin ' 4 ' BoWaio."
Song . for a, lloof person -"Como '6nolc
,to , , ,
_ AL.P.TIABETWAL ASSE.RTIONS.
The following are alphabetical ,asser
tions, briefly collected, describing ele. ,
gent flirtatious, ,genorally happening in
joking, kissing, larking, merry-making,
nutting, opportunity, producing queer
rumpuses, small- talk under yolks' win
dow, youthful zeal, etc
Arthur nuked Amy's affection,
-But being lionjamin'a bride,
Cicily cut Clarion' cennectiro.. •
•
Deborah Dickey donll.
IPeanor's eye, en:at:lons,
Frederick's fatality feels;
011.44 gained Georgianw..good grurt•us!
Burry hairs Helen's high keels.
Isaac is Isabel's
.fenny jo.ru Jonathan JOIIC2,
Katherine know.; 1n,,, cl , kneed Hit II eh
Love leering Lucy's long-hones.
Macy meets mortilicatiOns.
Aichulns NAncy navels,
Oliver's odd ulAer ratio.
Proves Polite poor Potty proterts
Quaker Quinti flaws queer quibLlea
Red Rachel',. reasons resist;
Sinwn'A sy mpa , by 00111,1.1 es
Tales to 111 - Tabitly Twist.
' unthinking undoing
Volatile Valentine's Oral.
*lllianis mIIJ, wicitoler wooing ,
'Xcetals Ysulltfni %ell, h, s g,so
ROMANCE OP' WA SHING TO X SO
CIETY.
"It is not uncommon for cabinet offi
cers, having daughters on their hands;
to appoint certain young fellows, of fin
ished extremities,. to office, that theilinay
dance attendance on the girls and become i
useful. T know of quite a little romance
of the latter class. Young Hamilton
Camp, known as Ham. Camp, came up
to the Capital from the back Woods,
about, as awkward and green a youth as
you ever run awity With. He was pOor,
of poor family, and had educated him
self by working during the seamier to
have means for schooling during the win
ter. He was one of those knotty headed,
shrewd fellows, always looking out for
self. He found himself - here, bent on
office, with a few hundred dollars in
pocket,. laud no end of confidence in
himself. Ile took the measure of men,
and, what is more, the measure of
women, and planned his campaign ac
cordingly. It was original. Sleeping
in an attic, and regulatingffiis diet on
the most economical scale, lie expiffided
his means on a tailor and a dancing
master."•
"And I shopld say that Ham. Camp
was a donkey."
"Wait a bit. lie appeared at all 'the
receptions, balls and patties, to which
he could gain access, and as he soon
came to be recognized as an ornament,
balls and parties opened before lhim.
And at all of them lie was very attentive
to the lovely and accomplished daughter
of the 'Hon.-, of -the cabinet."
"I see—the old story of love lift ing.
the lowly."
"Wait a hit. He had - the adroit -- tiat
tery of the ears, He listened with inter
est to all the little trolibles of Miss
and
. came in timo to be necessary to-her
happiness in the ball room. Fle never
breathed a word of love, or what
was more important to him, of office.
The season drew to, a close, and Ham,
Camp found himself at •of radii y. lie
suddenly disappeared froM society. One '
day Miss met him on the avenue,
and bold out her little hands. Where '
have you been, you naughty man ?' she
cried. He mar no response, but as
they walked along he quietly gave her
what she had long befofe given him, a
confidence, and told of his ambition, pov
erty, hinted at his hive:, A few .days
after he was appointed to the best office
in the department over which the lion.
father presided."
"And they lived in peace, and died
in adipose—as the children say."
"Not to any extent. Ham: was very
attentive to the daughter, but never told
his love. Less than a year' after his ap
pointment a change in the administration
drove the Hon. papa , from his place.
Ham. saw the trouble coining, and was
prepared. Ho did not court his succes
sor, but he did court, most assiduously,
the rich widow nponien, then •on the
crest of fashionable society in Washing
ton. She did not encourage his love,
but better still, became his warm sup
:porter. So, thdn,.when Ham, was bowed
out of a nice phice, it was to go into
anotlier still better:" ._ •
"And he sold liimself to the widow."
"Not much. She married a first-class
mission, With a title, and went abroad."
" Good Lord, is this • man going to
court everybody, and marry no one ?"
" lie married at h t. The war came
on, and a 'shrewd, money-making, .kittle
creature. by the name„of Cranks, died one
day, leaving a fat widolv, and some fat
tior contracts. 'Firm. married the willow
and the contraco, and now lib is a mil
lionaire. Next winter ho , proposes ,to
buy his way to the &nate; and help - to
rule this troubled land."
" What a cold-blooded rascal ; and' I
suppose thejittlo Miss his first
love, died of a broken heaKlEL__,'
may havo been brokpn. Every
woman'sheart; sooner or later; is,brOkon,
But bo that as it may, it didwitYroyent'
her from marrying Qtui of the richest mon
in all thoso` United States—and shot is
also the gayest creature you over saw."
And so onus this eventful story. —De n :
.PiittC a' correspondloye•
_.qONNER IN lIARLIJI-
. •3 saw Benner on the road the ethos
day. It is ono of the sights of Now
York. It is interesting to watch . the
sensation he produces, though ho aP
pears every day. He comes lato — on the
road, but his coining is watched for with
the greatest eagerness by all classes. lie
is very systoplatic, and can usually be
*semi turning Auto the, gate from Eighth
avenue about live o'clock. • Ms pleasure
neior interferes with lii6• hiisiness ; his
iilay's work is,fairly done before hp leavce
for his stable. • Ho -has a iig which, he
puts on when lie prepares for the bust
, ness on the road. • .1 ,
DEXTER
is the favorite with the nublie, and:they
are usually :gratified, ' especially on o a
pleasant afternoon....other , horses have
had their brush, and have boon led : off,
foaming, to the =shed. The piazzas of
all the hotelCithat lino the road aro
eroWdeh with horsemen, and the,,Win-,
doWs With lady friends: . , Spectators with
their teams draw. up on the 'side of, the
road,.to. await the great (whet of the . daY.
During the meeting of the two Pouthron
cos of the Methodist' Episcopal Church,
in .Nolf York, lately, , it; Was estimated
that two 7 thirds, of ; the,„clorgymen . wont
out on Harlem lane, to get a sight of
Pester, and his famous owner. Bonner
makes his 'appearaiice at a slow pace, ap,,
parently indifferent to the , impression
produced. Ile watches to see that the
coast is clear.. By conniion consent,
when B'onner appelirg,
THE ROAD IS CLEARED
A Dacotah Indian might take lessons
of Bonner in his yells. As Dexter starts •
On his course„his driver can be heard
half a mile off. The excited throng
shout, That's Bonner," and" all comp
to their feet. The team rushes by With
the thietness of the wind, and is out of
sight in an instant. There are some
things that cannot be described—a panic
hi Wall street—the inside of St. Peter's—
the harmony of ap Italian organist—the
coloring. of the great masters in the Patti
Palace—the trotting Dexter. He moves
as no other hoVse moves ; he is the poetry
of motion.' • He does not sprawl, throw',
his feet out, or fling them around, but
scenic to
suDE 'UT HIMSELF,
giving the idemthat any amount of speed
can be obtained. lie is never exhausted,
there is rkt) exertion, there is a reserve of
speed that is peculiar. Go as fa,t as he
will, his hoofs can be seen as distinctly
as when lie is on a slow trot. Horsemen
say that . his speed has never been known,
and without, controversy, the palm is
awarded to him on all hands. A very
exciting scene took place the other day.
A gray horse appeai•ed on the road—a
stranger to every one. The speed of the
animal was marvelous. Where the horse
came from, or to whom he belonged no
body seemed to know. Tho driver
watched for Bonner. After a sharp con
test he actually
==!
The thrill of excitement was indescrib
able. —Bonner turned his horse into thq,
shed, and -had Lim blanketed. Nall
street was scarcely ever more excited,
than was the road that afternoon. In a
short time Dexter re-appeared, and here
his pale antagonist was ready for the
contest. .13°11119r put up the - top of his
wagon, which, as horsemen know,
makes a great difference in. speed. The
white horse came tearing along at a mar
velous gait.
BONNE:It SPRANG TO 1119 FEET,
and gave a screech that might have been
heard in Westchester county. Dexter
heard and understood the signal, buckled
down to his work, "and loft the whit - o' l
horse so far behind-that he was not to be
mentioned the same afternoon. -Thun
ders of applause attended Bonner on his
course, and as the king of the road came -
hacki there were •Irtindrells thli would
have crowned bins With laurels. The
feat of that afternoon induced horsemen
to say that Dexter Is capable or any-
11121
ALLSPICE.
A bacl :31)011
Eternity has no gray hairs.
Threatened folks livelong.
commercial-tender:-
Active corpses—dead beits
Express-ire letters—C. 0. D.
kregular old salt—salt-petre.
The last thing out—the--truth
True to the core—a good apple.
Noisy infantry—babes in arms
Ole 13u11 is going to marry soon
Tow-heads are going out of style
California don't like waiter girls
Never sport with pain or poverty.
A dance for surgeons—
The Mormon. troops number 13,000
Drops of the crater—lava and ashes.
The leghl tepder—lawyers' affections.
pretty cheek is the best side-show .
The termagant's garne—'draW poke•.
Letters of prophecy—the weather-V's
kgricultni.al mending—potato patches.
Birch rods.make the bqt baby-jomp-
Marine Inoducts—the surges of the
The best cure for, dirt is the • water-
EMI
Our brightest visions are in the night
IEIII
The sharpest feature of winter—it
111:111E
The Minister of the Interior—the
mouth
.
Paper. petticoats At fifteen cents, in
Boston. •
An instrument of tyranny--a filo, of
soldiers.
All ":tlio,tenors are- now following tho
high 'o's.
A condition of lotpOloss is to owo
. .
. .
nothing. 1.
Material for fancy elog-dancers—san
clal-wnpd.'
The' key to niahy
,men's tuuloings—
whi-key.. ,
Epitaph on a faithful book-keeper—
ousted up.
EvorgreOns—thoio who don't take. the
EBBE
.-- -
Every fifth man 'in the. world' 'is a
China Man. . .
.. .
_The_ last L blour out—blowlpg out the
LANE.
amp of life
A vial man is never ugly h 1 the eyes
of a poor girl.
Can the night from a bowle called a
(n)arrow way? '
Capillary attraetionfalling in/awe
with a Chignon.
'The tiro to.:buy aui oVereoat-when
the. fit is on you. ' .
A beautiful woman smiling bespeaks a
Purse weeping.
• Whattiver it is right to !Wish for; it is
right to pray for.,
Bumme'rs arc noiv called "hoNters on
he half-sell." , • •
A i*.catsliiug chicicsii is a South Car
olina curiosity. . •
Homer was' tlin'Arst profane author
.orticles.
Ho #ho marries ill is very long in
4enoming . widowed:
An actor ought to be a happy mall ;
his Ivork is all play.. • • •
'AnOther of . the' Itotlisob lids, is dead—
Payls. ' .
- ,AlOotigh tho naillc-maid, !pi — passed
away, l lMule
, Slain Indians aro -deaclrboaclod to' the
hai)py hunting grOnnds.
{TOM: IN ADVANCIh
$2.03 n year.
" rhcumatiz."
" Lancers."