togetirat.
Army Hymn.
ay Oliver Wendell Ilolmes—sung at the Opening of
the Metropolitan Fair. New York.
Q, Lord of flints, Almighty King,
/16old the sacrifice we bring,
To every arm thy strength impart,
Thy spirit shed through every heart
Wake In our breasts the living tires,
The holy faith. that warmed our stroll,
Thy power has made our nation free,
To die for her Is serving thee.
Tie thou a pillared flame to show,
The mldni,ght snare, the silent foe;
And when the battle thunders loud,
Still guide us In its moving cloud.
God of all nations, Sovereign Lord,
in thy dread name we draw the sword;
Wo lift the starry flag on high,
That fills with light our stormy sky.
No more ite flaming emblerne wave ".
lo bar from hope the trembling slave;
,No morn its radiant glories shine
To blast with woe one child of (bine.
From treason's rent, from murder's still!),
Guido thou Its folds till peace shall reign ;
Till fort and 1011, t 11l shore and sea.
Join our loud anthem, Praise to theo I
gaiztrihntr,olo.
BARNUM S LECTURE
THE ART OT GETTING MONEY
The following extracts are from P 'l'
Pamela's lecture, delivered in Phihold
phia a few weeks ago. They contain
some genial and sprightly ideas, and are
none the less worthy a perusal because
they come from the great showman:
PERSEVERANCE NECESSARY TO SUCCESS.
Men calculated to succeed must lay
down plans with judgment; and when
they have done so, and look at the end
from the beginning, then persevere—then
don't be afraid. Perseverance is an ele
ment of success which every man is not
born with, but which can be cultivated
however cautiously you may lay down
your plans, there is no man that has not
exigencies to arise which he did not for
see , and when these specks appear upon
the horizon, a man with no perseverance
imagines night is . near at. hand. Ile
struggles -till-.he-nearly -touches-the-gold;.;
but owing to his speck he despairs. Now,
Shakspeare says :
Thins° is a (file in the affair.= of tnen,
Willeh, token at the fhind, leads on to fortune ;
but a man don't get these chances often,
and very likely the flood tide of your pros
perity is when you get nervous and leave
all go. Davy Crockett 'said ; "Be sure
you're right, then go ahead " Remember,
fortune only favors the brave. You must
not stand, like Micawbcr, waiting "till
sornethin , turns up s " fur that will, be a
poor-house. A philosopher once said to
a millionare; "1 have got an idea. I
have discovered that t here is money enough
in the world for us all. The fact is, you
have got enough to ruin your children,
and I. have none at, all. lam going to
announce this fact, and we will have a
general distribution all rouon." Said the
millionaire: 'iThat is very pleasant to
you, but you would spend all your portion
in three months." ''Oh ! then we would
divide again,' said the philosopher. That
is a state of things not to be expected nor
desired, and every man should d. pond on
his own exertions. Cromwell was right
when he said to his soldiers, "Trust in
God, but keep your powder dry." It is
said that Altoona, when marching
through the desert, heard one of his sub
jects say, "1 will loose my camel and trust
to God." You must help yourselves. I
hold a man, to be successful, must de
pend on his own personal exertions, and
there is not one chance in one million if
he dues not depend on those The eye
of the employer is worth more than a
dozen hands working ft r him. You can
not trust to others. By a man's attend
ing to his own business, there are a thou
sand advantages. Ile gets to learn all
the details of businesii, the laws of supply
and demand, every minutia:: of his bus
iness. The Filler once said, when cheat
ed "I have gamed some information by
it ; 1 shall never be cheated in that way
again."
YOUNG MEN SHOULD SELECT A CONGE
NIAL BUSINESS
The best plan and one surest of success,
I think, is to have every young man,
when he starts in business, select that
business which best suits his natural geni
us. Now phrenologists tell us, and we
know it, ourselves, there is a great differ
ence in the foramtion of the brain as in
that of the fa .e. We are each created fi.r
some wise and different purpose. Soule
boys are natural inechapics, while others
have not the slightest idea on these sub
jects, and have not the taste for them
For my part, I never had the slightest
curiosity to know anything about mechan
ics. I would not know to night the prin
ciples on which the steam engine works
for a hundred dollars. You may take
such a hpy as I was and set him to watch
making, and after seven years he might
,be able to take apart and put together a
watch, but it would be contrary to his
,inclination, and up hill work all his life.
But if he selects the vocation he fitted
for, it is , a pleasure, and nothing for him
to succeed, and make money. It is diffi
cult to go across the grain. You will find
from the pulpit to the anvil many people
who have mistaken their avocation. Get
them on the right track, and they would
succeed. Sometimes persons will get on
light track and yet not succeed, because
they would be placed in too circumserib•
ed a position in seine village or town
where they cannot get full play for their
faculties. A man in this ease should get
put,whcre,ho is not so circumscribed.
PERSONAL ATTENTION NECESSARY Tel
PROFICIENCY
Avery man should, by constant personal
atteution to his occupation be proficient
as the great Preach naturalist Cuvier was
in the kcie nee of-Natural history. From
a single .bone, or small section (if a bone.
reasoning by analogy, he c.,uld draw a
perfect picture of the entire animal, al.
,though he might never have seen ,it. On
one occasion, wishing to frighten the
naturalist; a man encased in the skin of a
oow came into his study. 'What anqual
is this ?" asked Cuvier. "I am the devil.
and I am going to cat you up," respond
ad' the strange animal. Perhaps this
Might be; but Cuvier, being a naturalist,
very naturally wished to classify him
Looking intently at him, "Divided hoof,"
said he; 44gramniverous. It can't be
done.":(Laughter.) He understood Nat-.
1
VOL. 64.
A. K. RHEEM, Editor & Proprietor
ural History ; and knew that animals with
divided hoofs must live on grain, and
were not inclined to eat melt, dead or
alive, and he was safe. If every man
knew his business as well as this, he would
close all avenues to being cheated.
TFIFJ IMPORTANCE OF SYSI KM.
Men should be systematic in their busi
ness. The man who does his business by
rule will accomplish more in half the
time than he who does it in a slipshod
manner. There is a great deal in this,
and yet there are limits to it as well as
to every rule There should be a happy
Illed.iun,l between too rigid a system ar,d
carelsness. Some are so systematic and
careful that they put away things so that.
neither they n. .r any one else can find
them. Bed tapeisur is wrong. The As
tor House, many years ago, before your
noble Continental Hole' was built, was
considered the finest in the ountry in
every aspect. It stood number one, and
the proprietors boasted that they did
everything systematically . By merely
touching a bell every employee in. the
house came with a bucket of water in
in hand. On one occasion two gentle
men were to dine, and an Irishman was
to wait on them. Everything was to be
systematic. Orders were given to the
Irishman to be attentive—to first hr rig
each a plate of soup, and when they bail
eaten that arid wanted fish he could find
it at a certain place. . 4 1'11e gong struck
and the two gentlemen came in. I'at
brought, each a plate of soup, but they
set_ that aside and asked tar
„some fish
Says Pa t, "Not till you have ate vow
soup 1' (Laughter) This was earryity
system to o fur
ADVERTISE 1'01;1; TR.% DE
First be sure you manufacture a good
article, and then a./rPr(ise it. I sul,pose
that judicious advertising is just about,
the surest means of success in the world,
ifs titan has a good article. If a man
has art article fur sale ; some one must
know it before he can sell : and if the
the ar=ticle i Weitli the mni . el., - and the
purchaser gets the value of his invest
[neat, each person who trades ther,i be
come,: a walking advertisement in his
favor. Rut don't let any man make this
mistake, that any amount of adveriisirio,
however elaborate, will succeed perma
nently tithe article advertised is spurt- '
ous. I don't suppose that ever succeeds
People are not so easily taken in as some
suppose. Every one will denounce you
a , an imposter and swindb if they obtain
not their equivalent. 1f rho article is
good advertise. The farmer plants his
vegetable, ann sows ground, but while
lie bleeps his trips are growing ; and the
whole philosophy,' of hie is, first sow, and
then reap. That applies with great force
to advertising. In this country, where
papers have a (lady- circulation of :20 000.
5).00), and TO 000 copies, we are louli,h
if we do Lit adveitise our wares; and it
we don't advertise, the sheriff will do i
for you by andby. (Laughter ) A luau
had hotter (I() it himself twin by prosy.
(Laughter.) Adterri•rig is like learnim ,
—a ntt,e is a dangerous thing.
ADVFItTrz•E: LIBEI:
We must do it liberally. The first
insertion, people do not see it ; die sec
ond, they merely gla nee at it ; the third
insertion, they read it; the fourth, they
they look at the price; the fifth, they
are ready to purchase; th sixth, they
speak to their wives; and the seventh
they purchase. That is us often as in onto
will buy under an ordinary advertisement.
You inu..t let the people know all a bo ut
you—where you live and what you do,
and when your customers come gine them
a full equivalent, and you will be sure to
succeed, other things being all right
Some people have the ingenuity to so
arrange an advertisement as to arrest at
(cutler' at first sight. In that case the
first insertion will answer the purpose.
BE CAREFUL •ru us: Pi LITE
People lose business by being mean,
cold and inipMite to customers Be care
ful, then, to be polite That is the w,ty
to succeed in life. It is ridiculous to go
to this expense, and then drive thew a
way by being uncivil. When you are
making money, don't boast of it. No
wan can make anything by divulging his
his family secrets. Never say anything
about your business. If you wake money
and tell of it, some will set up- opposition
against it.—Jacob Barker, a rich man, a
Quaker, and still living, was esteemed a
man of integrity; but he had one princi
ple--never to divulge the 'details of his
business. On one occasion he had a large
ship full Of silks on its way to America,
and be stepped down to an insurer to have
it insured.
The President was a ,Quaker, and I
must say that though no class of men
stand higher for good principles, yet it is
said by other business men, when two
Quakers get together there is some sharp
practicing. Mr. Baker said, "I want to
insure my ship, what is , the price ?"
"Why, Jacob," said the other, "thy ship
is hero." "It might not be the same, and
may be something has Occurred."
Jacob, we'll insure thy ship for so .many
thousand dollars ; I will send thy potioy
up." A week after Barker learned that
tie ship and cargo were lost, and were
lying at the bottom of the sea Ile told
the clerk to gu and bring him the policy;
nut telling him anything about the ship.
'l here was no policy there. It was nev
er sent. Jacob then sent word to the
President Chou bust not wade out
if policy fur that ship, never mind; I
have heard from my chip Laughter )
I he insurer's memory was tiqickened, and
'fie sent a note by the bearer: .-Ttiou art
too lute, 1 i•end the policy , by the bearer."
Nobody ever gained anything by reveal
ing business secrets Cia3the says ; "Nov
er write a letter nor destroy one." Busi
ness men should write letters, but should
simply state their business clearly. Con
versation and letters should include as
little about business as possible.
BEN'S BEAR
Thirty years ago toy father, a half pay
captain. emigrated to Lower Canada. He
bought a farm in the neighborhood of
Stnnstead, where he settled with tafamily
Of three boys and as many girls. 'There
were too 'witty of us for his means in
England, where boys often cost more than
they me worth, and possibly this is some
times true of girls. Br.,ther Ben was
nineteen when we went into the hush ; a
brave boy. and a good leader fun his young
er brothers, and a good protector for his
sisters, who were younger -lid.
Wo lad a log house, as Most settlers
had then, to begin with It was quite
an aristocratic edifice for that region,
having three large rooms, while most log
houses had but two rooms, and many but
one. It was celled with hemlock bark,
smooth side toward the rooms, for we
were to spend one winter in it. We
moved to our “opening" the first of flay ,
and had t h e summer before us. . We
were lull of spirit and hope. A new
country and a new life, with all before
you to conquer, and the consciousness of
strength to make the conquest, is a con
stant inspiration.'
Ben's bear was his first winning in the
game which he had set himself to play
with the wild nature of the woods. I
was then ten years old, and that bear is
, usl_t
ly in the dim distance of thirty years ago.
Ben hal shot the mother bear, and the
ball that killed her killed one of her
cub; ; the other he brought home in his
boson]. -Poor little fellow:P.lle said, 'lie
is too young to mourn for his mother,
and I intend to he a mother to him."
And he kept his word.
The small beast slept with Ben always
laving his nose o'er Ben's shoulder. Ile
grew apace; 111051 to think we could see
him - grow, 111o' was very — Nola cif tililk
trod butter, and he ate bread and milk,
and mush and milk, with avidity. Ittirin ,
the first winter his was a numbed sort of
hall life. In tbe early spin ! , he was a
happy hear, goirLIS everywhere wilh hi s
master, and only miserable if he Jost sight.
()I him. lie Was entirely obedient to lily
brother, and always woke him in the morn
ing. As my lather was about to build a
frame house i he sent Ben to buy mateii:d
of a inan who hail a saw will in t' c next
town. this w(s 'Bruin's first afilietion,
for he could not accompany his master.
Ben stole away front him, and When the
bear knew that he was pone he began to
search for him. lie went to my brother's
bed, and be_Wining at the - lead, inserted
hi: rime under the sheets and blankets,
and came out at the foot ; then he turned,
and e2 reversed the process This strange
search he would keep up by the hour, it
lie were not stint out of the room. tie
took posse-sion of his nia , ter's clothes
and o ijer belonz,im-s, in I usod thew s o
nnl_lil toll seekin 4 for their owner--
tong lituuseir into ley, or ',rouse's and
sleeves of coats—that my mot her locked
everything in a wardrobe. Nothing of
Ben's was left out except a large folio
Bible, which rested on the top of the
wardrobe, six or se: ell feet from the floor
Up this the bear contrived to climb, roil
taking the Bible in a tender embrace, he
curled himself up, and dropped to the
floor with it. My mother attempted to
take it hiutti I.UII, 1 J it tor the first time he
showed tight, !flan the
broiine,tiek were administered, but tire
bear held fa‘t to (he Wok, :not try ittoth.
er c; me off second best trout the contest
This wa, fatal to her authority, as the dis
covered ulterward.
When Hen eame back the hear's joy
knew no bounds Ile lost his love for
the accred volume, and had no care what
hecime, of it. Ile rhowed his disrespect
for my mother by taking the butter from
the tea•table arid eating rt before her eyes.
13011 rat c him a drubbing for the robb• ry,
and he sulmiitted to Ben's authority ; but
butter arid honey, and sweets of all kinds,
were appropriated, if Bell were not at
hand to enforce good behavior. My
mother wla very unhappy between her
love for Ben and her fear of Bruin She
grew miseralde from her fear of the bear,
and what was worse, the bear knew it. She
complained to Ben, but he only said
"Mother, you have only to be resolute
with him. Ellen can drive him away
from the table, because she is not afraid
of him."
‘•But I am afraid of him,"/said my moth'
or, ,t'and I. think he will do me harm yet.'
!'6l ire him a taste of a hot poker, moth
or, and I'll answer for him afterwards.'
"I would not try it for the world," saiti
my mother.
The bear had his own way very com
pletely, till a circumstance occurred
which resulted more favorably for the
peace of ,the family than my mother's
mild remonstrances. We had a neigh
bor, a Mr. Bennett, who had a very love•
ly daughter of seventeen. Ben fell in
lo,ve with her, as in duty bound, she be
ing the prettiest girl in the New World.
He had been unable to get any clue to
her -sentiments—toward -him ti.he had
spent a considerable portion of the past
year, i* a married sister in Stansteact,
and .11Pn and the brother in-law being
frtends, it was there my brother had seen
her. I:4,k , eonlness towari him was a
great torment to on impulhive lover. I
believe Ben would have served seven
3r , ars merely to kn*iw how she re
guided hum At lust he lapsed into a
state so unhappy and anxious that even
his bear could not comfort him. About
this time Alice Pennett came home'to re
main, arid in neighborly kindnes,,sheand
her younger sister, came to visit us.—
She had never seen _Ben's bear, and did
not even• know of its existence. Ben
CARLISLE, PA., FRIDAY, APRIL 15, 1864,
shpt. Bruin into his bedroom, in ampli•
ment to our guests, and thp afternoon
passed pleasantly to all but the prisoner.
When the time come for Alice end
her sister to go home, my brother and I
prepared tp bear them company through
the'woods to their opening. Ben incau•
dowdy opened his bedroom for his hat,
never thinking of Bruin and came run-
ning to catch us. The lihprated bear
ran after his master, and jumped for joy
upon him, hugging him alter the manner
of bears. Alice turned and saw Ben in
the (to her) terrible embrace. She
shrieked as a girl with a good voice only
can shriek, but instead orrunning away,
she rushed up to my brother, and tried
to help him like a brave girl, crying,
"Dear, d ar Ben. you will :!,)
My brother threw off the beast and
caught the fainting Alice to his glad
heart, saying, "Dear Alice, be is a tame
bear, do not be afraid."
The poor girl looked like,.a broken
white lily, she was so frightened at her.
self and the hear. She could hardly re
alize that the bear was harmless, and she
was ashamed of having been hetrayad in
to such an avowal of a tenderness for
Ben. When she recoveted her wits, she
said :
"0, I'll never come here age4n."
"Indeed you will,'' said Ben. " I'll
banish Bruin, or imprison him, or du
anything, you wish."
It was surprising how eleai-sighted
Ben became regarding faults on the bear's
part that he had heretofore
complain of
stoles butter, or a highway rubbery of
honey on its way from the pantry to the
tea-table. lien suddenly discovered that
his pet was a nuisar,.ce. see
how you have borne with him so long,
mother," he said, in the most consider
ate manner, when he had taken a plum
pudding from a plate in my rnothers's
hands, and made his way to the woods
with it.
glad—you. 811 W him talie-it./2 said
my mother
"Ile must have a prison," said Ben.
And so it came pass that the poor bear
was chained in the centre of the space
that had been cleared and leveled for our
new house, with the light surveyor's chain
used to measure land. The bear imme
diately described a circle, limited by the
length of his chain, which he walked over
tiiining a suMTheisault at one point, and
only stopping to eat., or pay at tvition to
Ben if he came, in Its vicinity. •AtTiry he
inaugurated this particular and peculiar
exercise I tun unable to say, but i have
°len nuked a tame bear keep up the
eirole and summersault hour after hour,
and day alter day. Ile did not tug at
his chain, our ( - morel with it, as wo poor
mortals do with chains, but apparently
accepted it as a provision of Ben's supo
rim. wisdom. This view of the case, if he
took it, was sure to be abandoned at bed
time, when be would inevitably break
his chain to get into his master's bed-
room. llis indomitable desire to lie on
foot of Ben's bed, or to hug an old vest
under it, was sure to make him break a
way from any breakable restraint. There
lore a prison was made for him. It was
made or small logs, "cobbed up ;" that is,
tine ends notched with an axe, twnd the
cud in: a log Wed into each notch. Ihe
roof was ofards destined for the new
house, held) places by heavy stones.—
The first fright the poor boast occupied
his new den he raised the boards in his
struggle to get. out, impelled by tine desire
to seek his master. Ile got his head out,
and then hung by his neck, and so was
choked to death. I shed sonic tears for
him, and my mother rejoiced. I think
Ben was not very sorry Under other
circumstances he would have mourned
fur the loss of his sublimely ugly pet ;
but he had a new and lifelong pet in
prospect—perhaps many other pets after
that—and ho had no need of, and no
place lor a bear.
THE FURY OF A WOMAN SCOR,NED.-
A terrible illustration of what a scorned
woman's fury will lead her fiS do, oc
curred, recently, in Milwaukie. A lady
of that city returning unexpectedly front
a call, imagined she heard voices in the
room usually occupied by herself and hus
band. The door being closed, she was
reduced to the keyhole, and to this aper
ture she applied her eye. She saw the
figure of a woman; standing by her was
the husband of the jealous wife, actually
engaged adjusting a shawl upon he shoul
ders of the female intruder. The wife
ent to another room, took a loaded shot
gull, returned, opened the door, and de
liberately shot the strange woman in the
back. The husband screamed, the, wife
fainted. When the latter returned to
onspioosnese, she found the wretch of a
husband bending over her, pith a well•
feigned solicitude in his glance. Mutual
explanation ensued, and the body of the
woman who had been shot was brought
in.
pursued
was a dummy ! The husband,
who pursued the respectable calling,pf
retail dry goods dealer, was wont to.use
; this figure to exhibit the mantillas and
shawls with which he desired to charm
the eyes of - the - 11 - ilvwitilCiii — obi:The
dummy, front long exposure and hard us
age, had become shabby' and the mer
chant had that morning brought it from
the shop fot the purpose of renovating
its exterior. Not finding his wife,—he
was trying in his awkward way to dO,the
work, and probably swearing itt.hia,Olum
sy attempts, when his wife, ,!mistaking
the accents of passion, lot ..fly the :fatal
shot. This tragedy in real life will teach
her a lesson, pertntpa.' . .
"Isn't it strange," remarked a lady,
"that the . Mies Smiths are so gross ?"•:
"Not at al ," was the reply, "their father
was a grocer t"
Notes on Dress for Spring
BY MME. DEMOREST
All nature will soon bo putting on new
robes, ar.d not a few of our lady friends
will desire to follow her example; a few
suggestions as to favorite or desirable
styles of dress are here presented.
Bonnets.—For these the shape is very
little altered. A shirred silk front with
full cap crown ; the cape shirred, or with
small folds of silk laid on ; a ribbon bow
with long ends, falling over the crown,
bunch of fruit or flowers outside, is the
favorite style for a simple promenade bon
nets.
flfint/s —The basquine, richly trimmed,
both in silk and light cloth, takes the
lead. For travelling suits the short sac
quo and the tahna, generally trimmed to
match the dress, and preferred. For
dress goods, rice poplins in mauve, pearl
gray and London smoke (known also as
coal oil colors,) will be very popular, a
long with self-colored taffetas in those
shades, and in green cuir color. The
best trimmings for these are chenille and
the handsome gimp ornaments made in
sets for sleeves, waist and skirts. Alpaca"
still retains•in its place as a most useful
as sell as stylish material for ordinary
wear • plaids are worn, although less in
favor, except for young people. A ronde
or circular of plaid or plain material with
a deep plaid trimming is a favorite mode;
with this, should be worn a plaid scarf
made of netted silk with fringed ends.—
season, but high priced. We have seen
some very beautiful material for morning
dresses just imported. It is white picric,
also white and bluff French Cambric,
with a deep braided pattern round the
skirt-j.tcket, and sleeves in black very
novel and tast,ful both in style and shape
of jacket.
Dress skirts are still worn very long,
and front five and a half to seven yards
in width at_the_bottow_ .the ,street...
the skirt is universally raised from con
tact with the walk by the emiyenient use
of the new imperial dress elevator, before
noticed.
Bodies fur p'qe end French cambrie
are made round wi h belt and buckle, for
evening, dinner, and walking dresses;
favor is pretty equally divided between
points, I.4'igarn jackets and vest, and pos
tii.liono. 111 ihe varieties of dress and/
of barques have narrow sleeves. Velvet
is much used a thuds (talker or lighter
than the dre-s. Fringe, especially che
nille is very popular. Ruches, flounces,
butterfly bows, medallions and leaves of
Lace for decora'ions are all in high vogue
this spring.
The Sun of Austerlit2
On the 2d day of December, 1805,
rose the "Sun of Austerlitz." Its light
revealed to Napoleon the certainly of the
great victory of that day. His forces con
sisted of 75.00 men, occupying a semi
circle of heights. The allied Austrian
and Russian army, 96,000 strong, had
held, twenty-lour hours previous, a po
sition equally strong on the heights of
Protzon ; but by skillful manoeuvre Na
poleon had induced them to believe ho
feared a battle, and now at break of day
lie beheld their army, like a huge boa,
having unwound its coil, trailing its slow
ponderous length around its front, in or
der to attack his right wing.
The French army saw, as with its lead
er's aye, the blunder of the allies. The
length of their lines was exposed, while
Napoleon, from his semi-circle could
launch one of the spokes of his power to
attack them in any or all quarters. His
generals were eager to begin
Wait twenty minutes,' said Napoleon ;
when the enemy is taking a false move
they must not be interrupted.'
The twenty minutes elapsed, the move
ment was complete, the blunder irretriev
able. Then Napoleon mounted his horse,
and said to is troops__
'Soldiers, today we will finish the cam
paign.
At the same time, the order of attack
was given, and the mighty, living anacon
da was cut to pieces. The Russians, af
ter suffering, great slaughter, were re
treating across the frozen lakes. Napo
leon rode along the lines. and shouted
'Engulph them I engulph them !'
The artilerists elevated their pieces,
and by dropping their balls from a height
upon the ice broke it up, and over
whelmed the flying enemy.
This was Napoleon's great victory, and
most brilliant stroke of genius. After.
ward, on the eve of any battle, he hsd
only to remind the soldiers that the sun
of Austerlitz would look down upon their
actions, to inspire them with the most
enthusiastic courage.
The prestige of some such achieve
ment is a highly necessary stimulant to
the bravery of troops. It inspires them
with confidence in' their own ,prowess,
pride in their leader, and a sublime haugh
ty joy in the certainty of victory under his
eye.
.
A. moral instrument—An upright
iano.
Why is a swarm of bees like a popular
serial ? Because they come out in num
bers.
Why should a thirsty roan alwhys.car
ry a watch ? Because there's a spring
inside it.
Why is a'tender-harted person like a
housekeeper with but a little furniture?
,because he is easily moved.
Why is i the happiest of the vowels?
Because iis in the midst of bliss; e iu
hell, and alt others are in purgatory.
How did Noah preserve honey-bees
during . the flood ? In the ark-hives of
the world, of pours®:
TERMS:--$1,50 in Advance, or $2 within the year
Mistakes of the Telegraph.
Some singular and amusing mistakes
sometimes occur in connection with tel.-
graphing, in consequence of the misread' .
ing of a word - or letter, the signal for some
words being very similar, that is the
movement of the needles to indicate one
word are very like those which indicate
another meaning. A household in the
country were rather surprised at receiving
a message from the lord and master, to
the effect that he wanted his wig 'to be
at the station by four o'clock P. M. As
the gentleman had a very excellent crop
of natural hair, of course the family were
somewhat perplexed. For "wig" read
"wife," and the message was intelligible.
A gentleman telegraphed to his friend to
the following effect:—"l want you to get
me this evening, at any place you may
appoint." For "get" read "meet." A
cautious spouse sent a message to his wife,
who received the following:—"I am going
to bring some hog home for dinner to
night—be ready." The \vile probably
expecting a largo piece of pork, did not
prepare much for dinner, and is conse•
quently very much surprised when her
husband returns and brings with him an
old friend, who is very unlike a "hog."
The word hog and one were n'eluckily
very much alike, and were mistaken one
for the other. "Bring some one home
for dinner" was very intelligible.
Occasionally, when the Wires are very
close together, the rain will bring th,•ru
in contact; then the messa! , es which
way with the words and deliver then, in
quite another place. Thus a short time
ago, some large tea agents were much
puzzled by receiving perpetual inquiries
about cargoes of beef. "flow about the
beef ?" was the oft repeated question
Some shipping agents, whose private
wires ran down the same line, were equ.
ally puzzled by having repeated demands
for another chest of unmixed tea. It
was very shortly found that the wire had
Ircen — brough - Fintis* euritaCt by Wind - mid
rain, and thus the message for one firm had
flown off at a tangent, and had made its
way in a wrong direction
The great volcano Vesuvius, this
winter gives.a few symptoms of the
great destrt:etive power which has so
fearfully manifested itself at different
periods during the la,i eighteen hundred
years. The uninformi d stranger seeing it
row below, wolf i.c.,ircely believe it to
be a volcano at ail, Eir the white fleecy
clouds which occasionally rest f o r a mo
ment on, its brow might readily ba taken
for what they rat her than for the
sulphurous smoke that. without eisrat . on
rol! upward from the fircy furnace below.
And so Constantly do the subterranean
fires continue, that a few days ago a large
portion of the upiuth of the crater fell into
the yawning depths, while from the
fields of lava still arise small volumes of
vapor, that, issuing from the crevices,
betoken the fierce,undying flames beneath;
stone placed in the crevice in a few
moments become too hot to touch, Yet
people continue to live directly under
this burning mountain, and over the des
olate fields of lava spread a few grains of
earth, from which springs up a sickly
and stunted vegetation seemingly un
mindful of the fate of Pompeii, or the late
eruption of 1861, when the inhabitants of
Torre dell (reed, a small town near by,
fled to Naples in affright, and the flames
burned so brightly as to illfuninate the
air for many miles around,
A passenger on boar t the Africa—a
queer type of the English persuasion—
was asked what his particular emotions
were as the vessel lay thumping upon the
rock. "Why," said he, as I looked
down into the waves I wondered how
long it would be before I should be Gold
as cod liver oil in the strand.
The vestrymen of Christ Church,
Elizabeth, New Jersy, have been improv
ing the property under their charge, and
at the same time realizing a considerable
sum of money by a neat financial arrange
ment. Finding the pew cushions stuffed
with cotton, tiny had that precious itna
terial removed and sold, and the cush
ions refilled with hair. The net profits
to the church by the transaction amouted
to 0800.
Which was the property ? was wipes
tion very neatly settled the other day by
Daniel Drew, the great et eamboat proprie
tor of Gotham. Daniel, although a man
of immense . wealth, is an old, fashioned
Methodist, and dresses very plainly at all
times, and sometimes rather shabbily.—
Being on one of hie own steamers, not
long since, be was =meted by a passen
ger, who took him for one of the crew,
with the interrogatory : "Do you belong
to this boat ?" "No," said Daniel, quiet
ly, "the boat belongs to me."
Mary, mydear," said a doting hus
band to the lady that owned him, "if ever
I turn Mormon, and marry another help
mate, she shall be a Mary, too, for your
own dear sake." "Be cot ' hone
ary, my duck," said the loving wife ;
"in my opinion another would be merely
a super-new mary."
There are two kinds of girls. One is
the kind that appears best abroad—the
girls that are good for parties, for rides,
visits, balls, &a., and whose chief delight
is
. in such things. The other is that
kind that appears best at home—the
girls that are useful and cheerful in the
dining raom and all the precincts of
home.
"Boy l" called out Brown to the waiter
at Sam's. "Don't call me boy, Sir; I'm
no boy, Sir," said the latter. "Then do
as you'd be done by," put in Brown,
"and don't eall mutton lamb any reore."
On Tuesday, in the Police Court, a sin
gular occurrence in real life took place, Which;
in this city at least, has seldom transpired.
The facts - are these: About five years ago a
man named Edward Carey left an affection.
ate and beautiful wire and three interestioie
children to seek a fortune in the mines of
California For one year after his arrival
in the gold country Carey wrote constantly to
his wife and enclosed frequent sums.of mon
ey. Suddenly the corn, spondenee ceased,:
and Mrs. Carey, receiving no Money was com
pelled to adopt other means to obtain a liveli
hood for herself and liitle ones. In a few
weeks thereafter Mrs. Carey received infor
mation that her husband had been killed id
the mines, which was corroborated by a sub;
sequent letter from California. For three
years she' lived, no she supposed, a widow;
and receiving the attention of nn Ballad
named Joseph Reibe who succeeded in gain
ing her affections, she consented - to Marriage,
and about a year ago the 'two were legally
united in the bonds of wedlock, and have
ever since lived quite happily together.
On Sunday last, as the church bells were
summoning to the house of God the worship.
ere of the true Being, Edward Carey, who
had arrived direct from California by the
morning train, was making inquiries in the
tieikliborhood (in which his family resided'
when he left Cincin ' , at') for his wife and
children. His neighbors and friends stood
amazed and 'trembled upon beholding the
man whom they had long since believed to
be dead. Upon Leing as.ured that it was
Carey, who was not dead but living, he wee
astounded with the intelligence that his wife,
who had also believed that he had "gone to
that bourne whence no traveler returns" WRB
again married to another man, with whom
she was now living in domestic felicity. As•
certaining the residence of Mr. and Mrs.
Reibe, the afflicted husband hastened to as.
certain whether what he had heard was true
or false. Knocking at the door, a tall Ital
ian, measuring six feet one and one half in
ches, came to the door. Carey inquired:
"Does Mrs. Reibe live here?"
"She does—will you walk in 7" replied the
ltal:are
NO. 16.
',Yes, sir; will you please tell her that a
gentleman desires to see her," said Carey. .
The Italian consented, and on gob g to
the door leading into the dining-room called
h s wile by her first nane. She answered,
and, all full of smiles, came running into the
parlor. Upon seeing her husband, who rose
trum his seat to meet her, she screamed out
Carey.-1-2.-and—fell-fain
floor. The husbands both hastened to raise
her from the floor. When Carey Wonted
Rsibe that he was Edward Carey, the lady's
lawful husband, Reibe also claimed her as
his wile, and added, "1 shall never give her
up." Before the wife had fully recovered
from her fainting attack the two husbands
had become engaged in angry, violent words,
reeulting in Carey's drawing a pistol upon
Reibe, and by the latter being forcibly eject
ed trom his house. Reibe on Monday morn
ing, had a warrant sworn out in the Police
chayging
_CaLey disarderly,con,
duct and provoking him to commit a breach
of the Peace. Carey was arrested, and when
arr.,ign- d before Judge Warren, in the pres
ence of Reibe and the wile, he asked the
Court to hear an explanation before he en•
tered I, is plea. Judge Warren consented.
and Carey stated that he and Reibe both
claimed the lady (pointing to Mrs. Carey
Rt-ibe) as wile, and he believing himself to
be the legal claimant, lied become disorderly
in demanding peremptorily of Reibe that he
shoufd Ove her up. Reibe, through the
prosecuting Ott irney, Mr. Straub, exhibited
to the Court the marriage certificate, and the
question was at once asked, "What further
proceed:ngs could be had in that Court."
The wife, who, like 'globe, all in tears, wan
called up and asked by the Court it either of
these men was her husband ? She replied
that glue had been married to both, but hav
ing learned that her first husband was dead
she formed an attachment fur Reibe three
years afterward and married him. After
I,,, , i.pring the Court of her deeply seated at
tachment always for Carey. and now her
warm affection for Reibe, who had been to
her an affectionate and devoted husband, the
Court inquired of her, viz:
"What do you propose to do; live with
your first husband, who is legally such, or
your last husband, who, by misappreheu•
stop, and unintentionally, you have made
your husband ?"
The lady replied, " My duty and my desire
are to go and live with my first husband,
Ed ward ell rey.'
The scene which followed can never be
described Carey and his wife approached
each oilier and wept aloud, w 1 ilo the diaap
pointed Dalian, seated in his chair like a
statue, presented a picture of despair and
disappointment'. Presently his feelings were
overcome, and he grievously wept, eliciting
the sympathy of all. Carey and his wile, arm
in ann, left the court room, and Reibe. after
receiving kindly adirtonition from the courts
that ho must be resigned, and pursue the mat
ter no further, left the pre•ence of the court
deeply chagrined and terribly mortified at
the bite which bad befallen him. Carey and
his family are preparing to leave the city,
and Reibe, all alone in a deserted house,
ref us, a to be comforted.— Cincinnati En
quirer, 26th ult
You may be suffioiently sensitive, but
don't imagine yourself a conductor for
everybody's lightning—rub ning- the thing
into the ground.
Why are we apt to think that young
lakies in love are good arithmeticians P—
&anus° we find them ready to sigh for
(cypher) something.
It is a pious and valuable maxim which
says : "A judicious silence is always bet.
ter than truth spoken without charity."
An able physiologist has written thqt
one fifth of the human body is composed
of phosphorus. This most likely accounts
for the number a matches made.
A Dutchman's heart-rending soliloquy
is described thus—" She lofs John Mio
kle as potter as I, peoause he has oot a
koople of tollars more as I has."
If thirty and a quarter sqUare yards
make a perch, how many will make a
whale ? If forty perches malte'a rood,
how many will make one polite!
The man who imagined himself wire
beoause he detected some typograpical er
rors-in a'newspaper,-has—been--trying•to—
get a perpendicular view of the rainbow.
~ illen_t_val
If the clerk were to burn a pastil in
church, what would be the effect? The
congregation would be inceased, and the
parson 'in a fume.
"It is remarkable . ittat you are always
forgetting my name," said a quasi tie=
uaintance named Pint. "Why," said
Quilp, "it is a domed hard name to re•'
Member!"
Few seorets would ever escape if the
following rulo were complied with. Nev
er confide in the young; new puils loak.
Never tell your soorets to the aged; old
doors seldtm shut olosely.
Romance in Real Life.
A WIFE IN COURT WITH TWO HUBBANDR.-.-Ang
MAKES A 0110ICR--.-THE DRNOUEURHT: