Nortical.
-, -
14,
Miles O'Reilly on the "Naygurs.”
Some tell me a burning ehamo
To make the naygurs light;
An' that the thrado of bolo' kilt
Belongs but to the white;
But as for me, upon me soul!
So liberal are wo here,
I'll lot Samba be murtilred In place of myself
On every day of the year!
On every day In the year boys,
And every hour in the day,
The right to bo kilt. I'll divide wid him,
An' divot a word I'll say,
In bottle's wild commotion
I shouldn't at all object
If Sambo s body should stop a ball
That was comin' for me direct;
And the prog of a Southern baguet,
So liberal are'we bore,
I'll resign and let Sambo take it
On every day in the year I
On every day in the year, boy-s,
An wid none of your nasty pride,
All my right to a Southern baguet prod
Sid Sambo I'll divide.
The men who object to Sambo
Should take hla pin, and tight ;
And lie better to hove a liaYgm'ii heart
Than n liver that's wake an' white;
Though Samba's black as the ace of spades,
llis finger a trigger ran pull,
And his eye runs sthralght on the barrel sights
/emu] under its thatch of wool!
9sa• boys, darlings,
think tippin' you chaff,
The rhtht to be kilt I'll divide wid him,
And give him th& largest half!
gAligiullauvono.
MARRYING A FORTUNE
I=
• Who is she, Ned—that lovely lady
:with 1)r. Campbell ?' inquired Philip
Otis of his friend Ned Leland, whostood
beside him at the soiree given him by his
friend's mother.
Oh, she is the doctor's niece, Miss
Campbell; whom she has adopted, I un
derstand ; arid the other lady you see
'with them is also his niece, Miss Barton,
a cousin to Jenny Campbell, and an heir
ess of fifty- thousand,' answered Leland
"But she is decidedly plain, notwirh
standing she is an heiress. What horrid
red hair and ruddy complexion, and what
a showy dress—bright yellow ! She cer
tainly has no taste !'
' What a duced pity, now, that that
eh:mining creatchaw, Miss Campbell,
hadn't the money instead of her tawdry
cousin !' said Mr. Fitz Simmons, an .ex
quisite of the liret water, who, joining
them, had overheard the conversation of
the two g'entletnen, 'IOF really Ebink
I should-cultivate--the lady!s -acquaint,
ante if she had ; but it would never do
for Mr. Fitz SiMilions to throw himself
away on a poor girl ! His relatives in
England would cut his acquaintance in
stantly !' he added in a drawling tone,
twirling his thint moustache in his deli
cately gloved fir:gers, ' I will be pre
sented to the heiress. Mr. Leland,
though she is rather singular in her
tastes and appearance
' Oh, certainly, Fitz Simmons, you
shall wake the acquaintance of the lady.
Come I'll present you.' And Ned with
a merry look at his friend Otis, left him,
and proceeded to formally introduce Fitz
Simmons to the lady in question, while
.12hilip Otis sought Dr. Campbell, and
was introduced to Jenny Campbell, the
poor cousin.
Miss Barton,' said Ned, as lie ap
iproached the beire3s of fitly thousand
' permit me to h.troduce to you Mr. Fitz
Simmons—an English gentleman of rank
—who is desirous of waking your ac
,quaintance.'
Now, I am happy to make your ac
quaintance, Miss Barton. Hope you're
well this evening?' said Mr. Fitz Sim
mons, extending the tips of his gloved
hand as he spoke to her.
Pretty well, 1 thank you," exclaimed
the young lady addressed, in a loud tone,
and giving his hand a tremendous shake,
.' 1 hope you're well, Mr. Fitz Simmons,
*bough you don't look amazing smart I'
' Oh, I assure you my health is very
good, Miss,' said Mr. Fitz Simmons, low
.ering his voice as he spoke, for her loud
tones grated harshly on his refined ear
and delicate sensibilities.
Well, I'm dreadful glad to hear,it,
for you do look masterly slim'—and here
the eyes of the girl wandered over the
slender, willowy figure of Fitz Simmons.
'But then it's the fashion to look like a
candle, uncle tells me,' continued the
girl, ' and 1 must try and stint myself in
eating, for I want to be fashionable and
citified ; 'case an 'airess, you see, and
have got my market.to
Ned Leland, who had stood by during
the above conversation, cast a queer luok
on the girl, and with a smothered laugh,
left them, while Fitz Simmons gazed at
the plump figure and frizzly hair, before
him, and sighed heavily. The loud voice
and countrified manners of the heiress
shocked him, and I e was on the point of
beating a precipitate retreat av he noticed
they were attracting attention ; but then
the vision of the fifty thousand' rose up
before him, and lie resolved to overcome
his feelings in hopes of winning itspos.
SCSSOT
All that evening the elegant Fitz Sim
mons remained at the side of the heiress,
and in his soft tones talked sentiment'
to the girl, who in her seeming simplici
ty, sat with open mouth, apparently de
vouring each word from the exquisitely
Moustached lips of her admirer. But at
supper Mr. Fitz Simmons again was still
more shocked by h'er ignorance of every
thing before them.
' Shall I help you to some of this jelly?'
he inquired, as he stood beside her, ready
;to do the agreeable.
What iq it made of?' she asked.
never eat anything unless I know what
it's made Of. Do you know What it is ?'
:she inquired of 'a gentleman who stood
beside her. ' •'
'lt is calves'-feo welly, wise, I believe,'
he replied, , with a smile.
' Calves'-feet jolly 1 Well, I believe I
won't ba . ve any, for it can't be very Olean
if it is made of calves'-feet; • for our
balves never had clean feet, and 'taint
like city ones have, runnitig round th'e'se
black 'streets.'
~ .
Mr. AngUstus Fitz Sitntitons was near•
ly dying with inertification at bar ' ver
dancy andllie attention' it attracted, and
thioughoit sUppei his' fano was equally
4s rosy as his partners. ' ' . •
At length Dr". Campbell came for her,
VOL. 64.
d. K. RHEEM, Editor & Propr
saying the carriage was ready, and poor
Fits Simmons felt infinitelyrelieved ; and
after bowing her out, ho wiped his heat
ed forehead with his perfumed handker
' chief, and, taking leave of the lady of the
house, departed to his hotel.
As he entered his rooms at the first
class hotel in B—, ho threw himself
npon the sofa as if completely exhausted
with the evening's exertion ; and then,
fearing no interruption, gave vent to his
thoughts in this wise
'
She is gawky,' but I can't stop to
be squeamish now ! I must make a'strike
with thegirl
while the iron's hot !" he
aaid, for fifty thousand is a nice little
qum. II ere lam in such a deuced fiR
that I can't stir out unless I'm dunned
at eveiy step for my bills. There's that
confounded tailor and the shoemaker, and
then that 'old ww-hcrwonitin was here
twice yesterday, and again to day I And
the landlord - is getting suspicious, and
won't wait much longer. There's noth
ing left for me but to marry the con
founded dowdy country girl ; and then
—but once let me get that fifty thousand
into my hands, and won't I show 'cm
a light pair of heels? Deuced pity to
sacrifice myself, but it can't be helped,
under the circumstances I'
Thus, weaving plans for the future,
Mr. Fitz Simmons passed the remainder
of the night; and the next forenoon re
curled his moustache, arid, arranging
hinn-elf, souht rho house of Dr. Camp
bell to 'inquire titter th . e health of the
heiress.
As soon as Mr. Fits Simmons had
banded the heiress to her uncle's car.
when Jenny—who had been es
corted thither by Philip Otis—was await
log her, and her uncle had sprung in, the
door was shut, and merry peals of laugh
ter rang out on the night air from the
two ladies, in which Dr. Campbell 416 u
joined 11 , 2Atri
Well, .girls, a „pretty rig ,you..areJead--
ing your old uncle !_he exclaimed, mer•
rily. frere'it. - Kate knaking p.p;2.rfeet
fright of her pretty sell with that cheek
()Fred hair and this hortid red dress 1
declare I. don't wonder she frightened all
the beaux away laughed the'doctor
But you forgot Mr. Fits Simons,'
laughed the girl. I'm sure he played
the agreeable, notwithstanding it cost
him a master effort; and Jenny here
didn't suffer, if she did enact the role of
• the pour cousin,', or 'she had one of the
most gentlemanly attendants in \l r. Otis
I declare I'd give half lily lortune (?)
and toy red wig to boot, if olr. Otis had
been as attentive to rue; hut I plainly
saw that he didn't care for money, andso
despaired of attracting Itis attention.'
Well, Kate, I niu,t confess you in:tde
a capital country resp , mded Jenny
I thought I should fairly expire with
laughter to hear you go on at table ; and
uncle—l thought he would never
over it. Kate, you have certainly found
a most ardent admirer (of yourfinlan,;:)
in Mr. Fitz Simmons, who is certain to
be at your feet from this night'
' Well, girls, I see you are bent on
having your own way, and your old uncle
will have to give up to your rt:wa capers;
though 'tis a pity to spoil Kitty's looks,
for she did look like a downright fright
to-night. And .Jena y here, what would
your chart:jog; city friends say, I wonder
to see the rich heiress in such plain at
tire, and occupying the place of a poor
dependant ?'
The next morning, the two cousins—
:Jenny Find Kate—were sitting in their
room at D.r. Campbell's elegant residence
On II Avenue, when the Hervatit
brought up the curd of Mr. Fitz Sim
mons.
"There, I knew he would come this
ring to inquire for your health, after
night's dissipation, Kate !' exclaimed
MOl
last
jell
Ile is doubtless smitten with my au
burn curls, Jen. Do pray help me fasten
them on ! and that short, gay-colored
dress— I must wear that ! You must come
down, Jen ; and see how I. torture the
poor fellow's delicate nerves witl• my
countrified tones and manners I' And,
so saying, the gay girl descended to du
parlor, and in a short time was followed
by her cousin.
Mr. Fitz Simmons, this is cousin
Jenny Campbell,' said Kato, as Jenny
entered the apartment. Mr. Fitz Sim
mons was about to rise when the door
opened; but. seeing no one hot the poor
dependant, as lie supposed, merely bowed,
by way of acknowedglng. her presence.
'Did you see my cousin Jenny ?' asked
Kate, somewhat tartly.
' Yes, 0 yes ; I
.recognized
,her,' said
Mr. Fitz Simmons, looking cooly at her
as he spoke.
' Well, then, why don't you shake
hands with her, as if you were glad to
see her? I thought that was city fash
ion. Ain't it, Jenny?' turning to her.
Jenny bit her lips to hide a smile, and
then answered :
' I believe so, cousin Kate ; but then
people often omit the custom.'
'Yes, I expect so ; I rather guess it's
only intimate friends who shake hands.
Ain't it; Air. Fitz Simmons ?'
'Yes, I think so,' murmured that con
fused gentleman, "or those who are en
gaged."
'But you shook my hand last night,'
continued the malicious tormentor, 'and
—t►nd—we ain't yet.'
'Nobody knows what may be, most a
dorable creatchaw I i whispered Mr. Fitz
Simmons, in his softest tones, as he moved
nearer her, an the sofa.
'Oh, Jenney, did you bear that --what
Mr. Fitz Simmons just said to me ?' ex
claimed the wicked girl, not believing pont.
Fitz Simmons' reddening face, iltid faint
whispers of _don't, don't, I beg of you I'
'He called me 'an adorable creatchaw,'
and laoked dieaslful tender at me. IB it
J3c
etor
love, Jenny, to talk and look so ?' case I
want to know if I'm made love at.'
Jenny bad turned away, as Kate
_com
menced speaking, and now stood at the
piano with her back towards them. With
face convulsed with laughter, she bent over
the music, not appearing to heed her cou
sin's words.
Swallowing his chagrin and confusion
(for the sake of fifty thousand,') Mr.
Fitz Simmons asked : . •
'Do you sing, Miss Barton ?'
'Well, yes, I do sing some I sing 'Old
Hundred, and the 'Thucology,' and Green
land's Icy Mountains Now, .Jenny sings
and plays on the planner beautiful, and
I'm going to begin to take lessons right
off. Uncle says I must., to 1' fashionable,
so can play afore folks when th-y az me.
But perhap3 you'd like to hetir the sing ?
'Zebedee
Hall used to admit , • to hear toe,
and said I beat all the girls in our town ;
but then I guess be was a flatterin' me, for
he wanted to spark me wftr4 bad. That was
alter I . had my fortune left me, you see,"
she added; "and I tilled our folks that I
didn't want a tarot—l meant to go down to
the city to Uncle Campbell's and see son .e
-thing of the world, and get a city chap
mebbe; but about sino.itmt —shouldn't you
like to hei r sing, Mr.'Fitz Simmons 7
If you'll pitch the tune, I guess I eau silv,
the 'Doxology.'
'You must excuse me. Miss Barton,
but I do not sing the tune you mention,'
replied the gentleman, nervuu•ly.
'0 la sakes ! I thought .tiverybody ,
knowed that, and, pennyryal- tunes; but-
CH get Jenny to pitch the air OH the-pi
antler." But just then the door closed
on Jenny, ns s. C hill the room milt het
h.ndkerehief to her face, and a faint
sound as of suppre,seit laughter, smote
their cars. '1 iather guess cuu•-in Jen
[ley's got the toothache,' : aid Kate, 'by
her having her h indkerchieftu her mouth
I expect these jidlies and rich 'lection
ary people eat at parties destroy the 'num
el of the teeth, and makes folks use 'ent
OuTg. 'N - n ix," mine are }are — -
I -MA/4i, and t don't 411e:141 (1-1•51i1.143
mach of the pesky stet] when I. go-to
+U,( I'l7 s'
Mr Fitz Simmons, who had been de
eidededly uueonilortalde while Jenny was
in the route, and had been on the pint
of retreat at the first oppw tunity, now
settled himself comfortably again in the
large arm-chair; then, mastet im. ! los ltver
,iun to the red hair and loud toms, tried
to look lover-like on Kale.
But, lime was determined to display
her powers of singing.; and so, alt e r
preliminary humming of the tune, she
favored with undred' arid
•Urernville,' much to the apparent glens•
ure r. Fitz Simmons,lust as :11e
tiniAcil, the dour ;Jell rang, and .Nir I i z
Simmons, rising hastily, exeusud himself
on the plea that he had business down
town, and must then leave, but he should
do himself the honor of callus, main on
her Very scion ; anti with a tender
' l re of the hand he left her• tl, t tho
steps he met Philip 0; is, who saluted him
with—
"Air, you've been taking time by the
forelock, I reckon !" and then entered.
AB .the door closed on the retreating
figure of her admirer, Kate threw herself
upon the sofa and burst into merry peals
of laughter, from which she was aroused
by the cnt,ance of the new caller. She
started up in confusion i but recovering
in a moment, said.
,\l r . Otis, I believe 1' I will call my
cousin Jenny," and left the parlor.
As she spoke to him, and passed him
on leaving the room, illr. Ot a th„tight
her MA so awkward as she had appeared
on the evening previous. Ile was inter
rupted at this point by the appearance of
Jenny Cain poll, to whom he had lost his
heart on 'that evening; and he was soon
chatting pleasantly with her.
1 believe the lady whom I met just
now was your cousin ?" he said, have
not yet been presented to her."
'O yee ; she will be down directly,"
Jenny replied, and soon Kate make her
appearance ; and notwithsttinding that she
continued to enact the country lass, Phil
ip Otis saw that, despite the country tone
and I:inner:A, she was a girl of uneuuttn .11
good sense and character. Still, the poor
eou-in was wore attractive in his eyes
than the heiress of fifty thousand, and he
101 l 1)r. Campbell's more thoroughly in
love with Jenny than on the previous
CVCOIOg
An hour later, the heiress and the poor
'cousin sat together in their room.
'Jenny,' exclaimed Kate, 'tell me if I
,enacted my role of the country girl to
perfection, for I thought Mr. Oti. regard
ed me somewhat closely, as though he
suspected something of the kind."
Werfect, perfect couldn't have been
better!' exclaimed Jenny, with tears of
laughter in her eyes. 'Why you ought
to have been an actress, co - isin Kate 1 7 --
Poor Fitz Simmons ! ah,, hoW I pitied
him when you exposed his innocent love
looking, and when you insisted on sing
ing the Doxology,' I I'vas forced to apply
my handkerchief to my mouth, and make
my exit. And you kept such a sober face
all-the while r.
'Yes, Jen ; and I told Mr. Fits
mons you had doubtless got the toothache
from eating sweets last evening. I man
aged to keep a smooth face till he left,
though, when Mr. Otis came in, I was
laughing most irnmodeiately, and I sup
pose be thought I was quite insane."
. A month wont by, and still the two
girls kept up the farce. Mr. Otis was
very attentive to. Jenny Campbell ; and
she felt that with him she could he very
happy, for ho had not sought her, for
her wealth, as others had often, and as
many there would have done had they
kuOWn she in reality, was the heiress in
stead of her 'couSin Kate.
But the reputed heiress,notwithstand
ing her fifty thousand, did not abqund in
admirers. Two or' three gentlemen had,
: .
1 1 1.,:,.„.,,_, ;
ATills)
CARLISLE, PA., FRIDAY, MARCH: 1,8; . ,18 64.
at first endeavored to approach her "with
matrimonial intent," but the frowsy bead
and red face had daunted them, and so
' they withdrew, sighing over • the loss of
the fortune with such an ‘incutuhratme.'
Yet one had remained besides Fitz
Simmons—Ned Leland, a young man of
sterling integrity of character and quiet
exterior, who saw that beneath Kate's
awkward manner and uncoath ways there
was much to respect and adore. And,
somehow, in his presence the load voice
and uncouth manners soften4l. and she
eame near betraying herself several times.
Mr. Fitz Simmons still cOntibliedhis
attentioas, and so the time glided on. At
length his landlord grew inotite impatient
(notwithstanding poor Fitz Simmons pro•
wised to pay "when ho reiniqrces from
England arrived" and threateded him se
verely ; and the tailor and washerwoman
thrust their bills into his face; each day ;
and so Fitz Simmons grew desperate, and
found tnat he must at least biptg matters
to a crisis with the heiress. ;so, one eve
ning, dressing; himself with finusul care,
he wended his way to Dr Cacupbelre.
Upon admission by the
~4ervant, he
found, to his joy, that there was no one
in the parlor but Miss Kate fiarton, who
was seated on the sofa with ait extra friz•
zle in her red hair, and arrayed in bril
hunt red dress which harmoniped (?)with
her ruddy complexion most wonderfully.
His heat t whispered that sh 6 4vas expect
in, him. and he imagined the fifty thous
-end -already- in• his -possession•---7-N-0----morc
threatening landlords, and ilscilent tai
lors, and whining washerAomen ; al
ready, "beyond the seas " he - was ridita ,
ui leis own carriage, his dowdy wife—
well, I fear tie that she did riot mingle
very largely in the gentleman's anticipa
tions of the future
'Aw, my de ir creatchaw 1' exclaimed,
1 in twist tender tones, sealing himself be-
side her, after the salutations of the even
ing, '33i ii ereluu ey.l,ccting um?'
Wall, 1 dun't know as apybncly else
was. -expecting 3 ou - but me !' ril e• replied,
"'Yes; you are the only oro, qente , dy.,.!'
inurinu. eil Fitz Simmons, in tender tune;
the only beini , whom I could wish to ex
peer. toe, desire toy coming . .„Fmd, roust
imely one, I have come to iii4ty to putAr
into your listening ears the scorer, which
I have kept hidden in my heart since the
night I first beheld you. I ir.3. 0 keep i,t,
there Ili, liin:ier It has burs' tits bounds
and 2?? /01 be riehitsed. Car , hope that
iny wild worship is rerlii- k 1 by you,
most adorable girl 1' and ht.4i ,
.44,1.4 d.
as he spoke, and raised it tA i'AirpsY •
‘Theiie, 1 loiY,tre,i' it I' exclzi - tell, Kate,
'1 knowed you loved me, ant' told uric N.
,iO. wile . ' he said the, bankhild thiled
where all toy noiney was put. 41. told liiiii
I . k tont,' I then; was Cute heart that was
vie ,tire --ill it would stick fast when
money hail took wings and flown away.--
But, what is thy' matter, Mr. Fitz Sim
mons 1 you look dreadful pgle, and kinder
lien/We oil over! I ' m afraid you're took
sick. HI got s)n camphire, and mob
be you'll Ce.:l b Iter to rights.'
'No, to, I. thank you, Miss Barton, 1
am better Area ly ; but I think I my.st be
going. 1 don't feel very well. I wish
y'ou a good evening.' And, in an aston
ishingly short period—short as his brat
exclamations li d teen—tie confounded
gentleman found himself On Dr. Camp
hell's front (loi . steps.
As the street•do.w closed on him, Kati
give loud vent to her laughter; and, as
once hefilre, the tell again rang, and Mr.
Leland was ushered into her presence.—
Kate rose to meet him with fluttering
heart and downcast eyes, for she trembled
for the effects of the saute knowledge of
"(he h ss of her property'' on hips ; and
site felt that it would be a hard struggle
to give up his acquaintance as easily as
she had Fitz Sinimons. And so, when
Ned Leland avowed feelings similar to
these she had hoard from Fitz Simutmis,
her voice trembled as she told the satin
tale of the loss of her property.
'lt is not your wealth I care for, Kate;
it is not Owe I. would wed, but your own
self, niiiius the, paint and red wig!" he
answered,
Kate started up in astonishment, and
uncom.eiously grasped at the 'offending
wig ; but it was there, too securely fasten
ed to he easily removed.
'O, Kate, 1 have known it all along—
from the first—that you wore a wig, and
used paint, you wretched girl !' ho ex
claimed, with a hearty laugh; 'and though
others were deceived, I saw through the
disguise at once. Love his sharp eyes,
you see, Kate," he added, drawing her to
him.
'Kate, tell me if you love me, or that
odious Fitz Simmons, who is always in
your presence. I niost know which, this
night 1'
• There was no need for other unswei to
the young wan than the uplifting of the
blue eyes, and the ahy but happy laugh
that followed.
And whon, a feW minatenger, Icpti
descended to
,the parlor from her owu
room, whither she had retired, what a
complete change had taken place in her.
Hair of the riehostlitown—had-usurped
the place of the red wig, and from her
delicate complexion all traces of paint
had vanished; while , tastefully clad in a
becoming dress, sho stood before her
astonished lover.
`l. _had thought you passable, Kate,'
he murmured, as ho met her, 'but now
you aro more beautiful than a dream.
Can it be that you are the country • girl
who but just now left the room ?' he
•
.asked; fondly.
'Yes,_ the same, dear Edward ; the
same, but minus the 'fifty thousand,' as
before, for that belongs to my cousin, Miss
Jenny Campbell, who is the beiress,,while
Tam only the adopted child (*My Unple
Campbell. Can you' take me as lam ?'
she added, roguishly.
''All I ask is I.ou l Kate l '.be 'Murmured,
r.~~i .CMS"~
w.~..::
TEEMS :--$1,50 in Advance, or $2 within the year
ondly '
drawing her to him.
• 'After a time, Kate related the interview
with,.and abrupt exit of, ,Mr. Fitz Sim
mons, earlier that evening; and a merry
laugh followed at the fortune-hunter's ex
pense:
- The next day, Ned Leland had a con
sultation with Dr. Campbell, to whom he
told his love for his niece, and its re
turnosking his con s ent to a certain event
in the immediate future ; and the old
doctor only said,
'Yes,' very pleasantly. asking with a
smile, 'if he knew that Kate had lost her
fifty thousand.' •
And it furthermore happened that, on
that seine forenoon, Philip Otis also
sought the doctor on a similar errand;
and he, too, went away very happy in its
results.
'There, girls !' exclaimed the doctor at
'Clinner,, 'here I've had two consultations
without a single fee, this morning—both
tin your accounts, you naughty girls I.
But then I administered the right potions,
and the patients are doing • finely, and I
think will be out soon, and able to come
hero to speak for themselves.'
Soon after, two weddings took place ;
and the astonished world of 8.---learned
that Jenny Campbell was the real heiress,
while Kate proved ,he handsomest lady iu
the town, and niece to the old doctor.
_Mr. Fitz Simmons was not seen in ii.
after that night. Ile probably 'stepped
out incontinently,' for the landlord of the
- 1-AL—Lllotise was heard - inaiTtg
for him, to:ree'er with th. tailor and wash-
erwonian, arid various other creditors, who
[ much fear, cherish, his memory to this
day as the gentleman who promised to
set do certain bills 'when his remittances
arrived from Engknd.' Possibly, in the
mother country he has replenished his
purse by "marrying a fortune.'
THE FIRST TIME ON SKATES
IMI=I
I am not usually carried away by any
new and fashionable pastime, however al
luring it may, be, but I. certainly have
had a slrbhg petulant fur skates, onlyin
! creased by intense lonfling g.azings into
shop windows where these treach—de
lightful articles are for sale, or tiptoe
glances from
. car windows : at.„ the skaters
themselves, who smiled to etij,,y-it thor.
ou g hts—so. that at last I eunclutlei to
o
actually try the sport in proprift persona',
and I."still Hilo' to write ab ut it. -
, ' I actually bought a pair or skates,
L\
though it Was the worst d,nfluO. lining I
ever did=next to wearing ()Icn The
obliging slmp keeper will ito,ist on any
..electing flow half' a il,z,:n different
kinds, us il . I e,,u1.1 tell, by ii,iraenh,u,
intuition, the hest, looking puir, and paid
for them, swim;ing them on my arm, as
I hat scent ladies in the ears do. 011,
that five dollars!
Well alter lea .1 started for the Park
My escort had an idea that I could skate
—so had I. Arrived there, we found an
immense crowd dispersed through the
warm building, getting on skates, chat
ting sociably, and chatting about, kalei
doscope fashion—some in plain bloomers
with tartan scarfs and gay little caps, with
streaming ribbons and jaunty red feath
ers ; others in fur hoods and coalition at
tire ; young ladies with long - mirk, atten
ded by smart young cavaliers, displayed
the daintiest feet imaginable, as they were
shoo steel ; in and arniabie mammas talked
housekeeping to each other at the stoves,
while/it/cr. watched Seraphine front the
cot ner of his eye, as she flirted with young
Fitz Allen over her muff. It was a pret
ty, suggestive scene, and I thought skat
im,° must be a tine thing.
When my turn came I sat down and
submitted my feet to a colored individual,
feeling very much as one does who
mounts a dentist's chair, in happy igno
rance of the fate awaiting hint. I tried
to act naturally and indifferently, and
when the last buckle was adjusted, sat
unconcernedly looking at the stove, in no
hurry to move. I had dismissed my
cavalier, telling him I would meet hint on
the ice, though I had not the faintest
idea hew I should ever get there.
At last I stood up—l. wean I intended
to stand ; but the floor I stood on was so
narrow I concluded to sit down again,
which I did, wondering if the clogs our,
grandmothers wore were anything like
skates. ,
I have no idea, now, how I got to the
ice. I think it was by putting one foot
forward, and planting it firmly there, then
dragging the other up to it. By repeat
ing this I finally reached the ice, and
saw my gallant waltzing with a fair dam
sel in plaid. I concluded to takehim by
surprise ; for I felt confident the moment
I touched the ice I should be all right.
I did not attempt to make a display at
first; my skates were new, and rather
stiff; ,so I stepped carefully from the plat
form, letting both feet come down at
t u - little, to begin — with.----
Then I started forward; I knew I ought
to keep my arms going, to maintain my
equilibrum, unellsvaadoing,,niaely,_wJirtlL
swim one must have touched me, for 1
fell flat on the ice, merely saving my
"lovo of a bonnet" by "hardening" both
elbows.
I got up gradually—indeed, I am not
sure that I. should have been up yet, all
the way, but as a stout lady came past I
caught frantically at her dress, and as
sumed my perpendicular. She looked
fiercely at me, and I have no doubt deo
trifled a home audience that night by re
lating how narrow she escape having her
pockets picked by that "dreadful wo
man !"
My escort now sought-me, to sny.that the
liahampion.of tho World" was going to
perform: "circus" on the ice, and - volun•
E&3red his assistance to get me thore..
bung on biavely,' and flirted my shatos tic
~~~~~~0
The "champion" was starring it, a la
Cubes, on the surface of an ice theatre;
his skates were good for something—he
could go back,vards and forwards un
them, sideways and round-about, and
stand on their toes, and dance, and do all
sorts of gymnastics with them, as easily
and graceful as possible. He attempted
to. show off a novice, but he failed there I
I could have beat him at that ! •
I think I should have staid there till
the Fourth of July melted the ice, if I
had kept those skates on. I could not
mind on them, nor walk, and I was mis
erable. i. I sat down. I felt like a Lllii
neSe.
81cating is not my "fort." It may do
fur 80111:i people—perhaps they like it;
but 1 felt like a new creature when 1
took thaw off, waved' again on terra fir
ma. It is a comfort to be able to stand
alone, and on good footing, and nut feel
creation ORE' , from uidet: you and tbu
sky — Culla - psi - 6g like a big umbrella.
tikates were great institutions when
brother Saw wet to see Deacon 110
daughter, a long thee ago. I was six
teen then—l think I west be about that
110 W
\,Vell, I Lone the dear creatures who
delight in that in ag,inative sport will out
catch their death of cold, nor sprain their
d. lieate ankles ur spines beyond repair
I think, myself, house-cleaning is a much
nail-o u ts-amusement ; ud-vast
perilous, but then it isn't so fashionable,
by a good deal.
My bonnet has a soft crown now—a
'style that's a little out of date , bat 110
master-1 am glad it wasn ' t wy head.
I presented thy skates to our errand
Pat, the moment I reached home.—
Ile turned a sonierset and pronounced
them “bully," I think.
13itt tbis - incirning ettppd the climax ;
I wade we uppkarance at nine, in a emu
forable delaine wrapper, with a plaster at
my side, and my facd swelled out of rec
ognition with neurdlgia ; one eye w.ri t.)-
tulle oblivious olthe light, and had a blue
spui . under it, tit wade tee think of
I 1 ce nun.
1 felt a strong inclination fur the hot•
test side of the stove, and had an 1 , 1.
monition ut age. I did not heed the
dour fund when it rang, and when Bridg
et inforwed me that the "inii, 2 , , azine man
was in th parlor, I wished him at the
North Pule, or the Skating Pond. But
I wanted Godey and Harper, so 1 walked
resolutely in, though my gait was still on
the skates—skate' y. Good gracous !
Young McLanguish, an exquisite of the
choicest Bromplway style, ruse to meet ine
with the AtGtniic , still uncut, in his
hand. It was Iris first call since his ar
rival, and he was got up dazzlingly.--
11 is handkerchief wafted subtle perfumes
of frangipannt ; mine smelt strung of
camphor
Well, it's all over. I went to the Park
and skated--somewhat.. It may ho very
delightful, very healthy, very intensely
fashionable, but L frill to observe it. If
there is but one step from sublime to the
ridiculous, I certainly took that step, and
no other.— Chicago Journal.
A Day in the Commissary at Chat
tanooga.
A correspondent writing from Chat
tanooga, Tenn., gives the following ao•
count of what he saw at the Commissary :
I. visited the post of Bridgport a day
or two since, and remained several hours
with Col. McDougal, of the One Hun
dred and twenty-third New York, who is
in command. Witnessing a crowd ()I'
females around the commissary [ in
quired the cause.
" They aro applicants for relief," re
plied Col. McDougal.
I approached the wretched creatures,
and•though familiar with the misery and
destitution of cities, I must confess -nev
er before witnessed a parallell to the scene
which presented itself. L counted forty
seven females of whom three possessed
money to make purchases ; the remain
der were all pensioners upon the bounty
of the Government—all seekers for alms
at the hands of the detested Yankees,
who had been represented as the embodi
ment of all that was parsimonious. Of
course the whole throng must first apply
to the provost marshal, and when the
proper hour had arrived they were ush•
ered into his tent, one by one, to. relate
their sufferings and the causes which had
reduced thew to their present omidition.
They were all new applicants, the old
ones getting supplies at regular intervals
-without-the-intervention-of -the ---provoet--
marshall.
The first whose fortune it was to be
called,' was a Mrs. Ricard.
Proimet-Marshak—Are you a widow !
Mrs. Rioard—No, sir.
P. M.—Where is your husband ? ,
Mrs. R.—With Bragg, in the Third
Tennessee Cavalry.
P. M.—Your husband is in the rebel
army. When did he join it ?
Mrs. R.—Two years since.
P. M:—Did he volunteer ?
Mrs, R.—Yes, to keep from being con
scripted.
P. M.—But the rebel conscription law
was not then in fgroo.
Mrs. - 11,.---Btit they told him, that it
would soon be, nnd he
. had bettor
volun
tepr. : • . •
EBB
if we wore on the best of terms, till the .
band struck up a lively air, and I essayed
to "take a step" to the music. The step
took me !
Ice is cold, particularly at this season
of the year—it is hard, too, and liable to
injure, if taken in large quantities; but
it seems to have an attahment for me,
and as I went down I enjoyed a delight
ful view of the starry world, and it
seemed as if I could almost grasp the
"dipper" by the handle. 1 got up and
concluded to rest a while.
P. ' ,
14I.Was Fe not a strong.sedai
sionist-frem the start ?
Dirs. R.—Yes; he thought you want
ed to deprive us of our rights, and . takii
all our slaves.
P. M.—How many slaves did you
own ?
Mrs. R.—None.
P. M.—Had he a plantation '?
Mrs. E.—No, sir.
P. M.—What property had. he? ,
Mrs. R.—Nothing ; he liveci by day
. work.
NO. 12.
P. M.—Why, then, was ho so fearful
about the slaves ?
Mrs. R.—Because he was nfraid the
North would put the niggers on an equal ,
ity with us.
P. M.—Your husband is in the robot
army, and you ask us to supply you with.
bread. Why
,do you do this ? •
Mrs. Ricard threw aside the fly of the'
tent and just outside stood five small .
children, who had but a single article of •
clothing—a light homespun cotton wrap
per—on each, though the wind was blow
ing chilly cold from the north. " They
have not had a mouthful since yesterday
morning," said Mrs It., "and not ktalf
enough for six n'onths."
The appe,al was irresistible; the. pro-.
vost•warshal the'h told her he would 4 ,
minister the oath, and get her relief.
On being asked to subscribe her name, '
she replied that she could not write, and
accordingly a resort was had to the mark.
I continued with the officer till the
whole number was disposed of, and noted .
the following statistics relative to the
forty-four who were applicants fur alma
Numl•er who could not ................8b
Number who wrote very badly .
Number who wrote we 11.... 3
wldows before the war.... 9
Widows by the wHr ' 14
Women with husbands In the army 20
with I,uvbnudx in our army. ..... ...••••••/
The conversation related as ocouribg
between the provost-marslial and Mrs.
Ricard may be taken as a fair sample of
that with nearly all, and it is unnecessa
ry to repeat further; but it will be inter
esting to add a single ea, eption to the
general rule. It was of a lady evidently
well educated, as her chirography would
have. dune r.o,dit_to_atty_otite„.ant:L._
language was entirely free from that Fie
euliality of' di.dect which marked the
other applieants, but which I. will not at.-
tempt 0) rollow as it is familiar tb all
yoAr readers. By request, I have sup•
pressed the applicant's name.
P. M.—Your are an applicant for re
lief?
I,aily —Yes, sir.
P. M.—Where is
.your husband?
L.—Ele is dead, sir.
- P. - M -- . - - , '- -- When - -Tlittlardie- . V -
L —ln 1653. .
P. M —Have you a inAntation?:
L —Yes, air; 400 acre'S'.
P. 'l —Where ere your slaves ?
L.--We had but four; one of them is
decrepid old woman, and is now with
me. The remainder were. oarried off by
Bragg's army, to keep them from falling
into the hands of the Union troops.
P. .'I --Where they carried away by
your corr-ent
L —They were not.
P. M you any objection of
taking the oath of allegiance?
1..—1 hays n t; I have always eon ,
slst en ly opposo'd seceasion. I did so in--
tile presence of Brag:4's army, even more=
100 ll thlu I npl_n,e it now
A Grave Without a Monument
The noblest d cemeteries is the ocean.
Its poetry is, and the human language
I ever will be, unwritten. fts,elennerits-of
subli ity are subject?, of- feeling, not , de
' set-11)60n rcoords, like the reflection
mirrored on its waveless bosom, cannot
be troisferred t paper. Its vastness, its
eternal 'leavings, its majestic music iu_a
storm, and its perils, are things which , I
hod endeavored a thousand times to con.
eci e but until I was on its mighty bosom
looking upon itr3 moving mountain waves,.
teeing that, eternity was distant frocn.rue
the thicknesst,l a single plank, I had.
tried in vain to feel and know the glories
and'the grandeur of the sea. I there
first fdt what John of Patmos meant,
when lie said of heaven, "There shall be.
no more sea." But there is an elementof
moral sublimity which impressed m y
mind, and which I would be pleased if I
could transftr in all its vividness to the
mind of your readers. The sea is the
largest of cemeteries, and all its slumber
ers sleep without a monument. Other
graveyardr, in all lands show some syra
bd.; of distin3tion between great and.
sMall, the rich and the poor; but in that
cemetery the king and the clown, the
prince and the peasant, are alike noditi,-
tinguish«l. The same wave rolls over all
—the same requiem, by the minstrelsy of
the ocean, is sung to their honor. Over
their remains the same storms beat, au&
the same sun shines; and there unmark
ed, the Nvcitk and the powerful, the plum
ed ;in. , ' the millotiored, will sleep on until
awakened by the saute trump, the sea will
g i ve u p it ; ; dead. 1 thought of sailing.
liver the slumbering but devoted Cookman.
who, after his brief but thrilling career,
perished in the President—over the
laughter-le-411,4 Power, who went down in,
the seine :United vessel, we may have..
passed. in friat cemetery sleeps the ao=
complished and pious Fisher ; ,but where
he and thousands of others of boble Eipirits
of earth lie, no one but ,God ‘llo4vetli.
No marble rises to point out where their
ashes are gathered, or where the lover of
the good and the wise. can go to shed the
tear of sympathy. Who can tell where
lie the tons of thousands of Afrio'sAilututt,
• who perished in the ".middle passage!'
Yet that cemetery bath ornaments tof
which no other can boast. On no othei'.•
are the heavenly orbs reflected in such
Lriti _no:alter-1i re -itornanyltam,-
itable traces of the power of Jehovah:L. 7
Never can I forge) my days and nights
as I passed over the, noblest of the mune-,
tories, " without a single human nieii 7
moot."—Giles.
Charles Lamb's opinion of, a water .
euro : " It is neither new nor wonderful,
for it is as old as the Deluge, when, in
my opinion, it killed more than it cured!"
..They only have lived long who have
INed yirtacluely.
The man who had a cloud upon his
brow has since been mist.
If the mind is not laid out and culti
vated like a garden, it will be overgrown
with weeds.•