Carlisle herald. (Carlisle, Pa.) 1845-1881, November 14, 1862, Image 1

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'A. K. 11.11E1E11, Edtto► fir.
VOL,. 6t.
TERMS OF PUBLIC AT LON
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county. Those terms will ba rigid!) adhered to ill all
ADVERT I,S Ir. 31 14; N S
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Advertisements inuuted her", ~l,u:i:ages and
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par line tor subse.oPuit insertions. Comm mica( ions
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Obituary notices or Marriages not exceeding five lines,
wilt he inserted without chargC,
JOB PRINTING
The Carlisle Ilerabl .11)11 I'll IN OFFICE is Ilia
largest and must e millet. establilixinent 111 the ty.
Four good Pre,xes, and a genoral vat let y of materials
suited fir plain Fenn' w,rl. of every I.lnildnables
us to Ito Job l'r intitt at 11, sh rl,.t u.,tice anti the
most reasonable Pei —eis in x nut o i
Blanks or anmhirrg In the Jobbing line, will find it tan
their Interest to giro us a rail
,_':,-',{1:r.c1.c..(1 ;F".o.,i‘-tritl.
"BUT IT DOES MOVE STILL
111 I 1117,1,0011 r)
A Tltllllll'll rust THE l'
Il urral4: it N, 01— it do, w.ne hilil!
its it ay '
Swift, Iliad Lora, still it mi.. , our mill,
\Vby say that tinitli i s 11l •
IN*lll.ll otti lupe , th:it re‘ , ,t..it '4S,
, (21t!Wps and sw..rh
clw H e ., ere , t/ v 1,11I 1
'' we .• wr Lul Ihr:ll.l—.o3l's dowl
But, ht,tliers. iL move , still
Ehst, Icy ollth :mil north-- the that Is fin
\Vitt], our sh 011111;
Earth's march but t., cu. I,lt hie::
=1
11.1clutsky smote her dw.vn
But. hur shaula.is past. and eruct, nt last,
She !noel, at the A nett htn nf ree u.
4M . Florence has rest Ina felt crud past
4 - .t.11 Naplr.. is
,t , ”on th!tly min steal) 1.., oh I Inly,
Frt...Ll retlico atl.l prirqtli.ss Item
s seheines have passed Me strLams
;atihalli
I thy tutu, •Autli Itniy
111111=11
I=
=1
EM El=11!
=I
Shoe, in Nal hilt this ilia, again
\\ it ll ht,r ft,••• 111141,E ri,ht,
=EI
I=ll
llcr let , elS ni hcil..hi! She has
=ll
tow (II Mil 'roe,
• 1
day \"U ❑u ylore
No- 7 -yout he . o ts . nic erii red ntid your %oleos hentLl
thAt your hour lino con.,
d Iles lin n ill see Pros , id n In
four ridhts. a Idle she gra.pN her 0x n
A - fa - flit ltthi d an] lb trig s' that' - nn nnlr rIl lilt in gs
W II give pl., to ( H e Get man'lltiotie
Lot the Itraudeulorg see that toeoly he he
To do 3 ourti uad hecdonin ss ill
15, 010..ha1l /I lA rruu 0 Co your iihnut, go down
Old eartli--) .s, it tlotis 111 ,, , atilt
See, the kll thay of A untri3's oway
I)rtrkens down ti, its stoinly
See, her bloody throne, built I,n .11,111 .
T. les vainly to tied a 1)14,01
lhakettiht \ tc/ina hiht,
Fletal th” light ,he
She :trips her again, we I ,
By ,tom 110 W 11, 113111 is rto,..t, 4
Leek, Poland finds life fir the holy strife
The eld woi di Ler 'wire lips till;
liven cruel ley Tyrol has lolled a semi;
Old earth—yes, you lb , 11111'e still!
Nor, Froadom, art thou 'lllollg4 our brothers now
Gorged mocked ut nn of Into
That shame is past, and treenum at last
Give you service in rho, irate.
'rho,e who stood with you a hen your friends isert•fe
In conquering hosts have urea
And your vulva to-day speaks rule and dismay
To your Ines with a thunder tone.
the mad :'otall rave, the North ,VIII here
For slavoAnd for free its NV U ;
And no blot shall root on the 'nighty AVCSt ;
Old earth—) es,,,tt deco :trove still!
Even Russia's heart I❑ our jey lakes part
Sho joins in our hopes at la,,t
At last even she wills her sells to La
Not the things of her dark 1.,01 post:
And never fear, when his serfs the fnen,
That their despot's will Ihey'll an:
They, too, then will be yours. Liberty, '
Lilts us, they'll still stylise lor you,
Let them taste t his sop tilat your hand tills tip,
To drain:lt s ill he their
A [ld trivil.ll) 01 . ..‘11., „ht he
Old earth—ye, it Liu,. move Fliil
And th, France uht.htlr ' yes. '4lll life's lh her,
Though lettered and gsg,edl sl n lies:
r r 1.11 g I rife 01100 111 , 11,, iSell behn e,
To rend rind to rule tke.
Le•t her despot glows the air,
llot al, when the earthquake's Neat ;
Thu storm will burst, M 111, 1 .1,111 things areurst,
Never fear but the thy 'twill clear.
Vt.--the mmoh If mean that v, it b time began,
Nometimeg mores on to our will;
"tut who d .tibts to•d.iy that the earth usakus way?
Yea, brothels, it does mese M.llll.
~,~~~ ~~ ;~~al~Yai~,~~ti~.
THE FASTEST FUNERAL ON
RECORD
'• Hurrah! hurrah: tho dyad ridolast
Dost fear tJ ride With tne!"—BuitoEa'B heoNoRA
Thati . futlyiv lias [to I.:ling of hin.busilleSli."--11,01LE r
I bad just crossed the long bridge lead
ing' from Boston to Carnbridgeport, and
Was plodding my dusty way on foot through
that not very agreeable suburb on a sul
try afternoon in July, with _a Tery_cresti ,
table thunder-cloud coming up in my rear,
when a stout elderly gentleman, with a
mulberry face, a brown coat, and pepper
and-salt malls, reined up his nag, and
after learning tliat was bound for Old
Ca,mbridge, politely invited me to take a
seat behind him in the little sort of tax.-
cart he was_driving. NOthing loth, I cow
seated, and we were soon ea route. The
mare he drove was a very peculiar ani
mal. She had lbw good points to the eye,
being heavy:bodied,,hatnmer.headed, thin
in the shoalders, bald faced, and rejoicing
in a little stump of a tail which was','al 7 .
most entirely innocent of hair. But there
were "lots of muscle," as Major - Long-,
bow, says, in her hind quarters, •
She ain't no Wenu, said my
pew acquaintance, pointing,with his whip
to the object 'of my scrutiny—" but-hand-'
Proprietor
some is as handsome does. Thelll'B my
sentiments. :She's a ruin 'un to look at,
but a good 'tin to go."
" licked :""
y e s, sir.' That there mare, su', has
made good time—l. may say, rel.! good
time before the hearse."
" Before the hearse ?"
" Before the hear:4e S'pose you never
heard of burying a man on lint
a sexton, sir, and undertaker —J'Acii
CRossnoNlis, at your service—' Daddy
Crossbones' they call toe at Powr
" ! ['understand. Vont' mare ran
v with the hearse."
"Nun away ! A child could hold
Oh ! yes, of course she ran away," added
the old gentleman, looking full in my tare
with a Very (11117Z1c:11 eXple, , SiOti, Mid pla
ting the fore Buser of his ri:dit. humid on
the right side of his party-coloured pro
boscis. •
My dear sir," said 1, you have ex
ulted lily curiosity amazingly, and I should
esteem it a particular favor if you woutd
'be a little le , s oracular and a little more
explicit."
I don't know as I'd ought to tell
you," said my new acquaintance, very
slowly :tad " If you was
one of the,c here writing- chaps, you might
poke it in the 'Spirit of the Time 4; and
then it would be all day with me. But
L don't eat(' if' 1 do make a clean breaA
of it. Honor bright, you know :"
Of course."
44 \Veil, then, I live a piece up beyond
Old Cadirid:.o--you can see our steeple
„ll.' on a hill to the riHit, when we get a
fUraiUr• 11 ell,oau, day, I had a
eiistinner—(he was carried oft by the ty.-
phip:)—whiidi had to he toted into town ;
cause why he had a vault there. I
rubbed dowili the old inare and put her
in the fills. : that critter knows
She's n ,11 . 111.1' ;IS he d—d' whim
she get..i,.tite shop—that's what. I call the
hear , e —lwhind hcr. .I",w would nut think
sit \a,' ;t three-minatc ww, to look at her.
Well, sir, as luck w o uld have it, by a surf,
of providential ittspiratiffit, tlw day bcn,re,
1*(1 I k oil ilto odd wouticit : . 11111.
60t LLc body ott elliptic,. Floc I t 111,11:'11 I
I , l'oll 1'1 , 1111:2: 1`;-V ll , c,
his uraVA• , ) ,, .1( . 11,111'111,. ..\ll : l di.:ll
well by lity,custuniers. L thought of
tent 'bosom to tir wheids, but icouldn't
tilb•rd it; and the -parish are so mighty
Well, I e [t him in, and led off tic
—1; mrieee hacks, ;Ind a dembOrli
wagon at the tail of the funeral. 11'e
imele a lieu show. ,As luck would have
it, just :is we came abreast ul Porter's,
out slides that eternal torment, BILL.
SINES, ill his awry trotting sulky, with
the brown horse that he bought fur a fast
crab, and is mighty good for a rush, but
hitln't gut nigh so much bottom as the
mare. Airlf.sdight_weight, anal-.his sulky's
a mew feather. Well, sir, Bin came up
alom , side, and walked his horse a bit.
Ile looked at the care and then at me,
and then he winked. 'Then he look,' at
his nag and put his longue in his cheek,
and wniked. I looked, siiiiiHut ahead,
[ and only sa[l to myself Cuss you, Bill
Sikes.' By and by, he let his hot'se slide.
Ile travelled about a hundred yards, and
then held up till I came idotast, and Wien
;he winked and bantered toe itgain. It
i was aggravatin.' Says Ito myself,
'says I—• that's twice you've done it, tuy.
huzzum friend arid sweet-scented shrubt--
' but you doesn't do that 'ere again.' The
[ third time lie bantered me, I let him
have it. It was only saying, Seat, you
hiUte!' and she was Ml—the mare. lle
laid all the odds, you know, for I was
Emile , a two huedred pounder, and he
ought to have beat me like breaking
sticks, now hadn't he '! He had ine at
he fir , t brUNII, fur I told you the brown
horse was a mighty fast one for a little
ways. But soon I hipped 111111. 1 had Ile
whip, and be (multi use his string—but
kilo had his hands full. Side by side,
:twee We tvcnt. Battle to-bang : eraek-!•
hue! thump! And 1 afraid of losing my
customer on the road. Hut I was inure
afraid ut - losilig the race. The reputa
tion of the old mare was at a stake, and
I swore she should have a fair chance.
We went sa fast. t lett--t he-pos-ts----aml-rails
hy the road side looked like a log fence.
The old church and the new une, and the
colleges, spun past like Merry Andrews.
The hackmen did nut know what the
was to pay; and, afraid of out being in
at the death, they put the string onto
their teams, and 'can: clattering on be
-hind as it' Satan had kicked 'cm ou cend.
Seine of the mourners was sporting char
acters, and they craned out of the car
riage windows and waved their handker
chiefs The President of Harvard Col
lege himself, inspired by the scene, took
off his square tile as
! I passed his house,
and waving it three times round his head,
cried, it, Boots !' it is a fact. And
I beat hitu; sir ! I beat him, in three
wiles, a hundred - rods. He gin it up, sir,
in despair.
"Ills horse was off his feed for a week,
and when ho took to Torn again, lie wasn't
worth a straw. It was acknowledged on
all hands to be the fastest funeral on re
cord, though 1 say it as shouldn't. I'm
an undertaker, sir, and I never yet ors
overtaken."
-On-subsequent inquiry at Porter's, where
the sporting sexton left rue, I fbund that
his story was strictly true in all the 'main
particulars Aterrible rumpus was kicked
up about the race, but Crossbones swore
lustily that the mare had ran away—that
he had sawed away two inches of her lip
in trying to hold her up, and that he
'could not have doge other Wise, unless he
had run . her into z(fened and spilled hi s .
customer! into the ;`ditch. If any one.
expects to die anywhere near the sexton's
diggings, I can -assure him that- the jolly
old boYisart i ill alive aud' kicking, the very
'Ace . of Warts' and Yaek Spades,'
and that now-both patent boxes and ellip•
tic springs - roger' his professional con
veyance the easiest running thing'ou the
road:
=1
=9
vekju tune o peace pie are for war
.
2aIPAR NOM TFEM IMREEIT assvalm
A BACHELOR'S DIARY
=Ell
Looking in the dictionary, I find there
woman, a noun, barbarously derived, ob
scurely defined, and bolstered up by a
nuMber of poetical quotations, of which
lovely woman heads the list. The dic
tionary is evidently puzzled; and well it
may be; wiser ones than the dictionary
have muddled their brains on the sub
ject. Men don't dare come out boldly
and say, " Woman, an improper noun,
tueaning the root of all mischief," because
they are sure to-have a slip of it at home.
Even .I, old bachelor as I am, am out
wardly excessively civil to the pretty lit
tle serpents, romenihering that my land
my laundress, and my mother all
belong to the objectionable class, but I
wake a private note of my opinions, and
intend to run it over every morning be
fore going down to breakEist, feeling that
I I ' int at prgscnt in a situation where, as
human and especially bachelor nature is
weak, I might he tempted to fall away
from toy principles.
How on earth it ever happened that I
',accepted Fred Sinclair's invitation, I don't
know. Ile is a married man. and has one
'of the prettiest places on the Iludson.
might have known that the house would
be lull of visitors in .1 uric and ,July; but
at least I could hardly he expected to
uesA that the majority of these visitor:
would be 'ivoinen not, matrons, with_
pinched nose, and careful mouths; not
(•,),y old grandmothers, or even old maids,
but youog women, young and shame
lessly—wetty live of them, as - I'm a
baehrelor, and hope to remain so, and only
two of my own persuation to keep mein
countenance, George and Hal Onlnjer.
They say they like ir ; I wish I did.
Now, I artas.g4.,:ti. 4 to make a confession.
I dislike these lovely torments on prin
ciple and in the lamp; individually, I
can't help admiring them, for my life
We have here, Lon and Vivia Barneole,
Bello lkt . yadere, Or:.andie, and Lute
Tina. I our continually watching them,
and I believe the torments know it, and
put out 0 little archedfoot, or let a sleeve
fill back from j a rounded arm purposely
to aggravate nie. I hey will group
hi;4Ctiltiir in the liratiii,t manner;
they will put their blonde and brunette
heads I.‘TtAether, and (-unfound me with the
glories of night-and maiming. side by side
Some one is pet potnally blushing or pout
ing to- letting long eyelashes fall over
eyes Hach, blue, or grey; or showing toe
a little round chin„,apra. pink-tipped ear,
keeping tee _thereby in a consiant flutter
and tremor of admiration, I think I
might write a treatise on the circulation
of the blood, if' w,ttcLin~ its pulse, and
surge, and recede, flushing front the pale
pink of a shell to the bloom of- a peach,
in fair young cheeks, could qualify lee;
or on mantua-making, such an expert ant
beeateing in their 1110 0 mysteries.;
their little collars, their filmy handker
chiefs, their bows and sashes, their belts
and clasps, their thousand :Led one
utan
traps that they have the effrontery to
spi ut un its under out- very noses. Fancy
a man possessed of a muslin devil; haunt
ed by ankles and Bahnoral boots, cunning
little trimmed pocked Will ZOlliLVe Shirts !
What miserable frivolity and waste of tittle
But the last, the worst, the most unen
durable of all chest: irritants, is Bel Or
gandie.
characteristicslier I admire in the :di
stract, but consi§ler them as, combined in
her, reprulicupifile and pcf icious in the
highest degree. She has brown hair of
the sort that flames out here anct there
with a deep gold e n tinge, fine, and soft,
and lung; beautiful 'hair in itself, but
what right has she to encroach on my
time with it:' It has a basilisk fascina
tion fur rite. I watch, perforce, where it
comes in little ripples on the white shore
of her forehead ; I wonder within myself
:it the brow, and the possibility of the
smooth rolls brushed away "a la 17112,-
pktail ire, " then she will nevr r settle on
rally particular mode of arranging what
woman call in their detestable jargon,
their " back hair.'' One 'day it is twined
around in soft coils; the next, in wide
shining braids, and once it tumbled down ;
(defignedly, I k now,) all about her should
-ers-aati-down-to-Ite-r-sten-der-waist:-
tell me that it W , iIS an accident she knew
Hurt those golden brown waves would nut
let ate sleep that night; and she put in
her comb loosely, in malice prepense.
rho should have been indicted and fined;
she would have been, had I anything to
do with law tinkering. Women ought to
be obliged toOrive their hair cropped, or
else be condemned to solitary confinement.
These beautiful, shining, o.il ing tresses,
aro nothing on earth but bachelor traps;
but I hold men deserve all they sufir,
since the power is in our own hands, and
we take no measures for sell:defence.
Del (I mean Miss Organdie, I, have a
bad habit, of calling her Del to myself;
which must be corrected,) Del has an
other- objectionable feature : her eyes.
They are grey, of. the sort. that darken
almost into black or melt into blue.—
There is often a look in them of a clear
shining, such as you see in thotwestern
sky after a gentle rain; she has another
look that I have seen in a child's eyes
just waked from a sweet sleep, before the
first smile curves its scarlet,. the sweet
and • solemn mystery of an iminocent soul
that has just passed through the gates of
a world, burred against our heavier tread.
She has a third; a wicked sparkle, and
merry malice that I like best. Then
can defy her, and tell her all the spiteful
things 1 think about her. '
Dark lashes shade these reprehensible
eyes; long and sweeping qut on the white
%heck in a way that doubtless - she thinks
pretty; black brows arch aboye them,
making her wide, forehead all tba - wiliter ;
no doubtishe considers herself n belle.
. She has..stuall hands, white with taper
lingers, the nail's round any rose like lit,
tie bits of-pink shell. 1 wish she would
wear gloves, or keep them out of sight,
for so am I ; annoyed by them that 1 feel
a constant temptation to cover them with
my own. Bachelor traps of the most dan
gerous kind arc they; they aro sure to be
£ARLISLE, PA., FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1862.
busy with a crochet-need' brought
out in relief on the dark coveec`iNt book,
ur folded like nestling doves in her lap;
a nuisance and a snare I consider them.
She has a little foot besides, arched and
high, and she wears delicate little boots,
and heeled slippers, half buried in 'ro
settes. Worse than all, she lifts 'her
dress when walling in the garden,- or
•
promenades the' piazza in a gale, or clam
, hers up and down places intended only
• for goats, and shows. them..
There she is now. I can see her from
my window, going up and down the piaz
za under that jaunty little hat with its
long feather, bumming to herself, and
clicking her boot heels to mark the time.
Restless thing ; she is like a bird or bee
on the wing ; she has gone into the gar
deli. Why, on earth, can't she Walk'?
;She goes with a run and whirl! of her
sweeping dress treading lightly, t r is if
, / ,=die
went on springs. Slit Ints picked' a
rose, two of theta ; wasteful creattire.!
See, she is considering:where to put them,
in her hair, on her boson], or in her belt.
The belt carries the day ; there arc the
rases against her hetirt. What utter fri
volity ;nil vanity ! and how pernieirims! in
its elicits I I promised to read up in law I
while I was here, but Chitty knows best!
how many of his pages 1 have turned
since, 1 have been here. How could I
Study Lleniands calm and serenity of mind.'
autioed. There she
g 0,36 lietitaken tho patl4o the river !
I ant going 114. f-moke a eigar,.and tran
quilize my nerves. This room is intoler
able.
must uncharitable
world. Vivia liaracele and Lute hon.
Hut stop ; let ine think how it all wa9-,
I went to smoke in the grounds, of
course, L don't consider it polite to smoke
in the r 001.11,1, Ur in the piazza, where there
are ladfis. Thinking and smoking, I
strolled along , not noticing the path- 1
took I found myself on the shore. She
sat there-1 couldn't do less them speak,
after neatly stepping on her. She made
room for we on the bench—seemed to ex
pect me to take a •scat beside her ; but
,he was in no hurry to talk. She was
looking out over the water, with the sol-
Lunn child look that 1 have nientitmed.
I could smoke . my cigar and watch the
flickering of her lashes, the, ebb of faint
color in her cheek,- the rise and fall of .
the lace on her white neck, the uncoil
scions movenitnls of her little graz.pitig'
lingers, holdit ' rldly two or three roses. )
When she did speak, she proposed W I
walk to some miserable waterfall, that;
can't-flow along like a decent, well con-1
ducted brook, but conies plunginr;l4own
lid!, tearing a bed for it:- , :c . Ce„
leaving just the 11111'0We:it ledge - 1191 .
path. I couldn't in CU:MIAMI ness!
refuse to go, and of course 1 ()tiered to
help her up the ledge. Iles band rested .
in mine; and such a little, warm, white!
and-rosy-ciinging-thin7 --it was:- Whcir
we reached the top she \V aS out of breath,:
and we sat down; the pities that shade
it, wade of it a cool, temple like plaoe ;1
the water did look pretty, foaming o\ er r
the rucks; but still that dial ae-
count for the way in which I enjoyed it.
I like Neptune well enough, but I am
not fanatical thou her ; we sat on a little
very damp earth, and a great (Ica' el
stone ; there was a toad—to which I have
till aversion—hopping about in a way ,
suggestive of I nnding in my lap ; I took
two WUPIIIS oil tit 111111, and a spider front
Miss Organdie's shoulder; as for the
conversation, here it is ; ' Ah ! I tot so
tired." •
" Yes. The walk is steep."
I believe I. have cut my slippet''—
half showin ,, the nonsensical little thing
dud she calls by that name.
you :-,hould have worn your Ilahno
ral boots. You girls are always so im
prudent. We should die front one half
as much exposure."
Oh but 1 didn't think of coming
liert.!"
Pause—Del looking off at nothing in
particllar; 1, at—but that is nobody's
business, and I don't believe in so wally.
details. Another conversional ripple,
" How peaceful it is!"
" IC8." •
" at_ NVIk4 j but- t 14-e—tan--mi-aute •
spent there was the most delicious of my
life. Then we went home. Vivia 13ara
cote and Lute Mutt were on the piazza
and' saw us come. Del sank down- on a
seat with a sigh.
" Have you been flir ?" asked Lute,
sympathizingly.
" Only to the fall."
The girls exchanged looks.
" Why, you have been gone two hours ?''
„ Two ?" (in large capitals). " Why,
we were only there ten minutes ! Were
we not, Mr. Wayne ?"
"That was all, by my watch."
" For bliss and bleb watches hare the pee ur,
In twenty IninnttS LO,lOBO 'Mir MI bout."
said Vivia,„hall under her• breath,- to Pit/a,
as if talking of something that had no
possible Connection with us.
Del grew crimson. As for me, lam
determined to leave this place immediate
ly. Bliss and myself mentioned in the
same connection is a little toomuch. It
Was a conspiracy done to annoy me. Del
can blush on all occasions. I• will go--
no, I wout't. Run away from a parcel
of women, inferior, frivoiouy — boings,
whose very existence hangs on a ribbon;
not I, I will assert my independence.—
There goes Del across the hall ; she has
gone into the library. I know the sound
of the door. Well, .1 shall go there, too
It has been my custom to read there at,
this - hour of the day, always. I was 14 . ere
three days before Del Caine, and the thing
became a habit. I won't give .4 up for
any crinoline that ever filled up a—whole
sofa, and overfli4Cd in two chairs be
sides.
Trapped.! caught! undotio ! walked in
with my eyes Wide open, and nibbled the
bait, staring at the spring that was to shut
down on. me, while I did it.
Del was in the library—more than that
she brushed away a tear or two. from titer
long lashes, as I sat down. I:eat close
by her;, for it looks as if people had guar._
reled when they station themselves at the
antipodes of the room.
I asked what was the matter ; because
I had an instinctive idea that it was
something about-118-1110.
"Nothing," was the answer. And then
a blush rose in her cheek, crimsoned, deep
ened flamed out quickly. She put up her
hands instinctively to cover her face, and
recollecting herself, put them down again.
I took one of the hands (it seemed quite
natural to do Cu,) and said something--I
don't remember what—kt was probably too
foolish to repeat.
The pretty bead dropped. in answer,
down to !DN. shoulder, where it rested•
nay little darling; ? Vivia and Lute
had been teasing her pitilessly. Then I
had never spoken a word of love to her;
and what could I. think of what had been
said on the piazza ? and these afflicting
considerations make the soft eyes brim
over, and the fair cheek flush and burn
under my questioning gaze.
Poor child ! how could I have called
her a bachelor trap.
"LODGE NIGHT."
Bearing a confused noise in front, or
my house the ()tiler wriCes a cor
respondent, I. threw up nay window to its
certain the came. I ult.-et veil a dark 011-
jeet. clingite.; to the Ittinp p c t that stands
~etitittel in front of my door, and listen
ing, I overheat d the :
iNiariar's , waitin' for me! -1 see the
light in her winter. What. the duedence
does she act so dartif'ool f hic) foolish for
umlodge aights?
'S'wc.l enough lo 'stay tip on or'rryr
nights, but's all (Lim nonsense, ye know,
to wait for a feller on 10d ,, e (hie) night.
knows stroll its I du tal,llll-, 12.11 t, to
ho • Lended to'L—cononit's got to report,
an' var'us error little matters—she outer
have more sense. Said she had the head
(hie) headache \\ hen I left her---told rnr
001 tMstay out longer I could help.—
Weil, I didn't ! how could I help it
Besides have the headache worsein she
will in the morning. So devilish stupid
in her to get the - headache when she
knew I'd big business to tend to Alt
these WOILICII, these WWllett, they'll never
(hie) learn anything, never
t•n the world w og a. %yid., tiN It still.
and (hi, happy full
Ha ha Iha I (hit) Womler what's be
, Collie uf Buigitr . ? . Left hint sitting on a
curbstone, raining like blitz's, and the
warner up to his middle. Ile thvight
he was at Nia (hie) gra Falls --Sdys'e
Spicer, inn boy amt - t1711 , ( - 741erus .! lon't
ye hear, the ra rapids 7 I was striker out
fur a home as re. (hie) rapidity as I cefild.
'Tis a pity fur Bulger, cause 1 don't think
he can swim; and he hates—ha! lot ! ha
(hit() hates Warrer Itke p-pison. Wish I
- was Quie in bed- B r-r-u-a-h ; T'tit all of
ashiver ! Chios all wet (Aikido, ;uni
dry as thunder inside. Think I'll tell
314tri a r n pel- ov-e rboard- to -save -a • fel—
ler creature ( hie) drowning. Then she
she'll want to knew what 1 did with the
fell (hie) feller creature. So that won't
do. She's got a pretty good swallow
hut—edged ! she—cant ,wallow—ha ! ha!
ha ! (hie) nu drowned wan, you know.—
That's a kale too much. She's taken
sonie orl'd heavy duns of I,!E from me,
but I , iu trod the drowned chap tot 'h o bo
her.
At ja,, , , Lit, ptil)-
lie I.4.ace avpho,lelied and the votary
liaoeltus was avian I.llere xt
hat nine niplit, arid why lie did nut
cn Immo.
IV halm I lulu here. \Vhy, Fin hid
din o n like grim (loath—that's what
llowsever, ule Killer, Flit gl (hie
ad to SCI: ye. Fact is Fact s, Ire Iwo))
nett in the rain, zLiicl 1 got a helium
so.iked, dye see. Rain warner alters did
make considerable pression on we. say,
you! can yt-tell Inc why like a bias
guard ? But I. know you cant—situ use
a•-king ye police fellers anything. But
its dev•develish good, ha! he ! he ! (hie)
for-me. tell ye why like a
blackguard—l mean a p picket guard--
Bccan , e 1 cant leave my p-post until [in
re (hie) relieved. Pelice feller, deye see
the way, the one with the green Vnetian
houses in front, three doors to go up to
ste )—that is tu (hit.) house, and rho •
iu dwells my sit-sainted Mariar. hid
you ever helong--to-, sp spout shop ?
But I spore not. 'As the charming 1)-
Portia says:
" That light ,vo sos to burning. In my hall;
11156. tar that littlu talato throw 6 his e-canriles
So ahlnes a goad dung In a naughty world!
Th-then pity the sorrows or s poor
young man wh-ose tangled legs have b-b
-brought him to this spot. Oh, relieve
and take him home at once, and heaven
will bless your store—when you get (hie)
one.'
The policeman kindly assisted him to
his - 116 use and rang the bell The door
partially opened. I caught a glimpse of
a night capped head, as our hero was
hurriedly drawn in by unseen hands ;
land a shrill voice that pierced the mid
night air was heard to say : ' So ! you are
tight again, you brute !' The door was
rudely slammed in the policeman's face,
while I crept shivering to bed, \von dering
at the probable fate of Bulger.
LIcT.A CLERGYMAN in one of our
country towns, after announcing from his
pulpit on a Sabbatl±Morning a newly re
ported victory gained by our army, add
-ed "This is not the time nor the place
to manifest our joy by' cheering, but we
can make the motions," and thereupon he,
with the congregaaion, gaVe a silent but
enthusiastic " three times thico" bra
general swing of arms in the air."
DLI'CONCERNING the drafting of gam
blers-for soldiers, Vanity Fair thinks they
would not be of flinch herviee except in
the case of another Indian oubreak, When
it would be quite the thing to send a bri
gade of Blacklegs to fight the Blaokleet.
xi.e..4,..AN A ukcENT conference meeting
in Pennsylvania, the members were asked,
how many brethren can you accomodate
at your house ? One lady arose , saying
.1, can sleep two,'lnt I can eat as many
las you will send along." •
One of Burnham's Hen Customers
tie°. B. Burnham, the Massachusetts
liquor agent, who has gained some noto
riety for his liquor-extenaing ingenuity,
was once engaged in a business more foul
than IHour-selling, as appears by the fol
lowing letter :
n U Eottit I.: BURNAM —NI ore'n year
aggo 1 cent yu twenty six dollars in a
letter for coshin shiner chiekns, and yu
sod tha was perfect: pure bludds and yu
lade yerself lyble to a Sute of prose kushn
for loth' such dam stuf go into yer yard,
or out of it either. I, bred them orl by
themiselves and never had no other cock
rill on my plasc. and i no yu elected
inc like the devl, and yu no it 2. The
lust lilt .of chickns I got was awl wile as
.snoballs, but 1 didnt rn in:thin, cause
why .! wat did i want to let Pokes 101 ide
bin filled andrsuckt in by a Cornteintible
pinky, for i sell nothing ^ and kept
shaidy, and stuck to It that i gut cm to
I, reed mite fouls out on—cause i Mont
people shurlent larf at Me, rfn how
the next lot of chickens i it wit , .
6/(24.: as thunder : G6n 1, I;eo. Burnham
—bred out of yur Patent yaller impoted
preenium stuck, ,- that yu the .Iyin
nouspapers ced was pure bludds. i chocked
every WWI 011 cm quicicer'n ~att—Well I
1 • ul111 1 .1 uio, 111111 yude a bin dare thin
3 . 011. 11 . 11thic11( nut mor'n ton
• thawsen more frills to clout People with
after ide ILA on yure, desaitful
. . . i tell yu mot i think on yom i
thi.nk if you Awl talk to sum minest im
ploiment -.ltch a, di ivin a r ! - 2.xpre. , s Waggin
of Oiling lie Con-iderd a
morn Compaired with what, yu
now he. every hoddy no,o how yu an
eliceting and tiongin and bleadin the
publick. and von intim stinks wuss'n ale
1 len cups! cifily how,„ I :-1 , 11, 1 C; rho cf • yu
shitr/ talk to cony kiln , of ontn , ss sort of
way to gut a living it ud kill vuldum
cot vu aint uste to it, ;old that
wud,erve yu rite, yu cheeting, lyin on
prinsipled nave. . . . go alied. sue
em :is 101IC as VII can. the wont line vu
out fer wde, and. )it can mail: sum con
siderable inure )honey out of the films
thort yell: suck t tile, 1 Sp.Zo
Well i own up )1i rlirl. ' vu gut twenty
six (loners of my mutiny, all i spew yu
eltuckl,pl about 11, I. l ,llllC ' m Vll did WLII yu
algS tote 1(111 1 111'11(1'.
dent yu wish ide pade the postige ill this ,
letter Pule nit a Wlls,
111 lutist 1 3--
—p. s in the
nlay that you 'Lade aix
aig:i t: 'rho editor; lolcg
awl 1 Itound.l nazi put up
that p;iper i sose ctiii cell
aigs. yu pOOl null over thair
flut Vii ilcnt rule .11 , . I (loot like\
ever lade a al_ in }cur unrbtigg.
go to the (led gor:ic Burnam
SENSIM.E. -- -Dying forVC is. a great
tnistake-, -- tvhatevisr tiin'y
Hine in an ajw, d, r , ( 11', " never
yie." If you must, do something in the
qying line , dye your whiskers or your
ii»nuacaelles. 'fliat may help the ease, and
is not so e:tpeindve. The fellewing
"pew. - tolls a Very' sensible story of an
11111 . ..01 ."
r:11 , ••1 U. /I.llli, Ih,
11.•1 it iu der 1..1“
N., I,
N nugui,ll
1:tt1.111,1 love, to a loovlio.,•
N 1 lir, It.,ti. tlom
I•1It 1111,1 he thou,.. p
(11.1 iippent, lot,ttotn
ittaill) it tittl,
it .1
A new 11,1 . may get
111.1( I tn.. I. nin.n iiki•n ran 1/1 . 11•1 I/1. K.
\ll.l 1110 11.. :I, 11111, , L S 0,111,1
tlt it 11.• ~,111.1 lion., .1 11,. ‘‘ottld;
A• 1.1 .11,1 uvr In. Lotments gr.,l
111. I:ll , i,NOr t , 1111,11 lLrm ,o;
1=111111•111113
41,1 mint hr w.. 111,1 do
Mho! ho "as gain;: 1.,r Lo gn t., .In
Sritox AR(ll' MENT V. STIMNi; BUT
" by is it, ny son, that when
you drop your bread and butter, it is al
ways the butter side down !"
" I don't know. It o111.!litIl . t
to, oitHlt
It The strung.est side 0u , .11t, to be up,
and. this ,is the strongest butter I. have
ever seen.'
ME I
"11 u h Up. It- is 6uule of your aunt's
churning."
she churn it The, lazy thing." ,
" What, your uuut :"
"No, this here butter, To make the
poor old woman churn it, when it was
strong enough to churn itself."
" Hush, Zeb, I've cat a great deal
worse in the most aristocratic housc,C
"Well,people of rank ought to eat it."
" Why people rank ?"
" Cause it's raLk butte•. , '
" You varmint you! what makes you
talk so smart?"
"Cause the butter lags taken the skin
off my tongue."
" Zeb, don't lie. I can't thrtiw away
the butter!"
" I'll tell you what to do with it—keep
it to draw blisters. You ought to see the
flies keel over as soon as they touch it."
WHAT IS IN A NAME.—There con
founded deal in a name. You are at a
public . dinner table. Smith, the grocer,
says "Rice is down again:"
" Is Rice down again ?" asked the min
ister. "I am surly to hoar it. I was in
hopes he had permanently reformed."
" I was speaking of rice the vegetable,"
replied the grocer.
" Oh, ah indeed !" exclaimed the min
ister.; "and I was speaking of Rico the
animal. lla ! he I he !"
'Wool has advanced," says a dealer in
the article.
" Has he ? asked a military man; which
way is he. marching now ?"
" I was speaking of the wool of the
sheep," is the reply: •
" L-he.= your pardon. I.suppose you
wore speaking of Wool;the man." '
"What is"butter worth?" asks some ono
of the grelcor. ••
" Butterworth is a' Hard Shell -Demo
crat,". at once responda a politician, whose
thoughts arc whollY engrossed with party
matters. „
j_SIL 30 por annum In advance
(S 2 00 If not paid In advance
" ZAT IS MY TRUNK !"
In the days of coaching over the Prov
idence turnpike, before railroad curs were
n and baggage-crates existed, and
when travellers had td keep a sharp look
out fur their luggage, seine forty or fifty
passengers had just stepped on bciard the
01(1" Lien Franklin," and got under• way
on . Narragansett Bay. A gentleman, who
had occasion to get seine of his wardrobe,
Thad j lls I. ha tile , / out frolll au immense pile
of baggage stowed amidships, anew black
Lather trunk of portly dimensions, stud
ded with brass nails, when a little wither
ed Frenehniman, !nettled complexidn,
and fashionably dres , ed, darted front the
crowd, and interposing between our friend
and his property, e. , 7clainied, courteously,
but positively—
"I beg. your pardon"; sane— „rats, par :
do n it,: 7 , 1 0 1-3'01111:170 got re IT rOrig
liv rc ~ reille—rat iny trunk !''
" Not so. monsieur-1 hope I know my
own t raps.".
" trmtvtillv—hold on—dans un
instant, I vill prove my props--alt: you
see dis key, eh ?" Applying it, to the
lock, he threw up the . lid, and then struck
a triumphant attitude !` ly key unlock
pm trunk—eh ? tell nie Cat !"
—;-:titild out f the map my trunk,
I tell po.t.''
on von belle minute
y 4.01 slfurrh, h
To be : , , ure they are
" dru‘caires,
Curtail'ly
' " fait a nminimt--1 will prove my.
Profs, ! , are"---said the little Frenchman;
rnwwarin benei,th a pile of shirts and.
a-k , , produec-il a bottle. and said delib
erately, With a :iriii---
Dum.frees'.. Ish'
(I tyli) 1' ANT, you
; _it von li.etle I,ll' Lis yt,tl A'Hitc,/c
ze Ah! be dam!
know !Ily t 111Pli
It is neeilles to remark that our friend
immediately a wide ap between
himself atilt the iiiterestin 2 : victim of two .
of the nio,t unpopular di:ionlers known to
sulferim: humanity.'
A (~!Licl‘ Iti•PAIITEI.:. --The following
tT clot of Gov. :llorris is related by a
uorreslioi;dent ht . the New York Times :
lle lncl a high respect Tor Bishop
)1 ()ore, a m:LI) fluted 11111 ouIV for the pu
rr,c In., elnuacter, but aku for the re
medesty of his dizspo,ition and fur
the ,:nt in which he was, held. As
the :stury ran ; dinner was given by
,eine t;ev. friends when he
was dep.irtiii:.l: for Europe. 3loore
and his wile Were or the party. Among.
other he had made his will in'
po-peet ~2;oing abreact ; [l.lld turning to'
Bishop LNloore, said to him „
friend, I have ho l ueatlied
to 3 011 NvlD,lestuck of impdence."
Ifishnh I\loore replied ;
" F.dr, you are not onlY
very generous ; you have left me by tar
;greater portion of your estate."
...I.loldre immediately added ;
".11y dear, you have come into pusses
lion of ymtrinheritance remarkably. soon.'
TA 111,ES TURN 1.. n. —A Kentucky cor
re,potob,nt ui the 'incinnati Tinus states .
that tbi" c , .fitented and happy :4ervants"
of mill flock into camp.
cducatetb for he can
read awl u I,le ho fornully belonged
„ i „. 'low in thc rebel army ;,
, )ame i, .1 uo ;otne slaveholders
‘‘ le" lrol put np advertke
rnent.,, (Inc Hundred 1)ollani Neward I
Han aw:iy from," 0. Not to be outdone,
Jim Ivrote and put up nnnthcr Notice, as
fullmvs :
)0 I'EN I'S KEW 141 11
Han away from chile an' and leff
him all alone to take care uf himself after
I had done worked twenty-six years faith
fully, fur him, my Massa, hill Dunean.-
11assa Bill is supposed to have gone off
mid de ,Seceshers, fur to hunt fur his
and 1 specs, lie don got lost. Any
pers,,n 'lllrnin' him to me—as he allers
said " cuuldn't take care of hillr
self—will he ohli:,;ed to dis chile.
N. 13.-I'ersuw, hunti,L' fur kiln please
luok in ull dr " la,t ditches," as I utt , ln .
Tieercl him talk about coin' into diein s
bu6iness.
';-ieetfully submitted,
The poster created a great deal of mer:
intent in camp, while the lientuckrresi
den ta came across it thought Jim u
" mighty sassy nigger."
A Illicit ,ToK L.—Not long since a lot
of us-- lam a high private" now—
were quartered in several wooden tene
ments, and in the inner room of onelay
the ruirts of a young secesh officer await
ing burial. The news soon spread to a
village not fair off. Itown came tearing a
sentimental and not bad-looking specimen
of a Virginia. Line.
" Let me kiss him for his mother 1" she
cried, .interrupted her progress.—
" Do let me kiss him for his mother !"
" Kiss whom ?"
" The daar little lieutenant i• the ono
who lies dead within. Pint him out to
me, sir, if you please:- I never saw him,
'but—oh !"
I led her through a room in which Lieu
tenant —, of Philadelphia, lay stretched
out on an upturned trough, fast asleep.--
Supposing him to be the "article" sought
for, she rushed up, and exclaiming, "Let
me kiss him for his mother," approached,
her lips to his forehead. What was her
amazement when the "corpse," ardently
clasping its arms around her,- returned
the salute vigorously, and exclaimed ; , 7%
"Never mind the old -lady, Dlisa , go
it o ' t Oyoni own account. I hatin't the
slightest-objeetion !"
Sentiment is a fine thing, Mr. Editor,
but it should be handled as one handles
the spiked guns which the rebels leave
behind, loaded with percussion ,caps—
Very carefully.— Continental ilfont4/. .
Ate' The rebel General Vau Dora was in
stantly removed by -Jeff Davis after losing
thohattlo of Comiith. Gen. lialleok remarks
'that the saint) rigid system of accountability
would doubtless have saved 'us from many
disastyys and reversp in th4asl. •
• NO 46.
=mg
1021