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A. A. RIIEEII, Proprietor.'
Wm. M. PORTER, Editor.
VOL. H.
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A SONG
(FROM TIII: rIF.RMAN.)
—Slime joyful sons of music
round tho„rosy
And saw, with sparliiing glances,
Tho rutty liquor shins.
Than ono said,—"Comrades, till now
Each sparkling beaker high
I have at home a dear one,
Ta hig my greetiMrS liv ;
Black eyes and jot lilaek tresses,
A palin-tree's grace halls else,
And lips that gloss like ruLlrs
Have thrilled thin. heart in me."
Then struck the tinkling glas.es,
Anil fovea noldo clang,
As if along the rlidanee
A ramg if groet.ing rang.
"Ila :"said the ❑rlA, exulting.
'(hod omen that I hear!
My darling nnir remezuhers,
finch kiss or lore dear.."
'Now then e xclaiined tho seeoud,
too, a sweethoart own,
WWI whom, OR nun: pinnui,
Full Oft iny an) s have ilnwn ;
Brown eyes and rich brown t cusses,—
No mountain rne nun e light,
Her silvery voVe iv perm
Than belt on moo nlain bight."
Then cried Ow soenyul proudly,
'"that givoB a 'welcome ping
MD, sings e'en IIOW the musk
That oft I built hiir ring."
"And I," the Lhild said softly,
• "Hat din. w In, I'ooo but use;
Our - Inntal fin:Lk iv plighted
Through all eternity.
Blue eyes, with golden tresses,
All sunslli nu, lovo And crneu
No words of mins v,in plot an
Thar sweet, angelic fare."
Shan struck the linking glasses—
The thi rd 11,tintler siring!
A rry of woe! Long, trembling,
The shrill, wild erho rang!
iwn, in t
shadow, !...einod In See Med to eon,
Ilut. eh, the third way weeping .
And sobbing laterly.
And at tho self-same moment,
Far down the tranquil dell,
With tones like heavenly greetings
The hells low chiming swell.
Ilut one, one only, heard not '
The wail that charmed the place ;
She slept in blissful silence,
A sweet, angelic face.
The mild blue eyes were shrouded
The cold, cold lids banenth,
And on tho golden tresses,
There lay a funeral wreath.
MINNIE CLYDE
•
Oh, long have I sung of sweet Kitty Clyde,
Who lived at the foot of the hill ;
And though that sweet pretty bird has flown,
Another is living there still.
She's blithe and gny as the robin that sings
On the trees by the old mill side;
And If over I loved a girl In my life,
171 s the charming, sweet tillnnio Clyde.
CHORUS : 0 Minnie Clyde, she is ray pride,
And sure I am no jestor;
Tor If ever I loved a girl in my life
'Tie Minnie, Kitty Clyde's sister.
think her eyes are brighter than liitty's;
The dimple in her chin is deeper ;
I would be imprison'd the rest of my life,
With 1%1411110 Clyde for my keeper.
In the festive throng she sings a sweet spot;
With the tnwly alike she Is ineek ;
Her eyes are the windows of her soul,
Through which Min aie's heart would sport
Citoitus: 0 Minnie Clyde, ke.
Oh. West are the, Maks that lire in Um c it,
That stands at the foot of the hill !
Oh intent are the 8011(tH that echo in tho glen,
By thin murmur of Um a u iss•cover'd mill !
Tho birds all chant their not 38 to Minnie;
Tho angels above have caress*d her;
But you have the angels, and I have the birds,
And I'll have Ititty Clyde's sisters
enclave: 0 Minnie Clyde, kc.
Incidents of Western Life,
On a distant prairie, at nightfall, a
way-worn and weary traveler was over
taken by a snow storm. When the first
few flakes came dropping down, be look
ed eagerly around in the hope of discern
ing a place of shelter; but none was to
he seen; only the trackless waste of roll
ing lands, and far off bills in the direction
whither he was going—so far off that he
feared he never would reach them. With'
the departure of light the , snow began
falling faster, the t vmd blew keener, the
road over the prairie was soon hidden
--from-viexv,. and tho traveler felt that ho
was lost on a trackless waste, without a
star to guide •him across the dangerous
country.
" this is terrible I" said he aloud, "1
fear very much I shall never come to my
destination. If I had but a compass and
a light..l shbuld not fear, for I could re
sist the effects of the cold long enough to
reach the hills, and there I should find
human habitations, or at-least the shelter
of a rook. Now I may go -in a circle
till 'l.,freeze, and be no nearer help.
'What afool was,- to leave the river-side"
and cross-the prairie, just for a few miles
3Rore ,or - Jess journey. No matter; I
must "even battle it out now, Heaven
' helpirth.',' • • ---
• And battle it out ho did, tnost.rnanful
iy.' Ho , drew his. cap down over his
• ears and brow, and his' fur Collar .up over
• his mouth , and thrusting' his'hands deep
pocket; 'pressed:on
.through the
snow. The.:_.increased,
nereaSed,
the-wind came sharper, and through his
heavy clothes the traveler began to feel'
the effects of cold. His feet grew numb,
his arms chilled, and after an hour's rapid
walking, he suddenly paused.
"How do I know whither I am going?"
he exclaimed " Perhaps I have already
turned aside from the straight line, and
am wandering ; on the verge of destruction.
Oh, that I could shake off the drowsy
feeling that is stealing over me ! I know
what it is—the precursor of rest in this
cold winding sheet of snow. Great Heav
en, I ant freezing to death ! he shrieked,
bounding forward with renewed energy.
" Action—action—action is life, and
life is too sweet to lose yet."
• lie hurried along with a springing too
1, tion, stamping his feet vigorously at
every stp, and swinging his arms to
keep the blood in circulation. Yet with
all his efforts lie knew that the angel of
death was folding its white wings silent
ly but, surely around him. „,
" no !" lie cried, "not while
the memory of my loved wife and dear
children is left to me. 1 will struggle on
for your sakes, and light the storm-fiend
7 - tri - th - tflas'textfettrit 3 , 7=calren •
for the sake of the innocent ones whose
only stay is my right arm, help me to re
sist—help me to triumph 1"
At this moment he plunged into a hol
luw,liis feet strode over ice, and he heard
the voice of a strcandet singing of life
and action beneath its icy crust. At the
same time, the smell of wood smoke salu
ted I'd's . nostrils. - • . ,
.‘• 0, Thou who reignest ahove." Inc
ejaculated, "I thank thee that thou halt
heard iny prayer. Help is near me."
Ile reeled heavily onward through the
blinding snow, and saw just before him a
low shed ; one wore straggle and he fell
against it. In an instant he divined its
character. With a last desperate effort
ho found the dour,' threw it open, and
rushed in, knowing that he was in an at-
mosphere rocking with the fumes of ba
con and warm with the smoke which
'rose IVoin a pan Of smotherjd coa!s in
in the center of the place. It was a set
th,r's rude smoke house, left, to care for
itself (luring the lon; winter's night, and
the traveler's grateful heart sent up a
tribute to !leaven for this place of refuge
in the desert of snow.
In a large log cabin in the valley of
the ;drcamlet,ly Dean sat alone.
Her husband had ! rime to a distant town,
and the young Ivile was left with her ba
by. Accustomed to solitude, she felt
safe, and sat in contentment before the
blazing fire; the flames leaped right joy
fully up the chinim y, and the green logs
sizzled and crag lzlol in the beat like
thinrs of lire. UM doors, the wind alas
howling dismally, and the snow Idling
hcatilt ; but Mill y care' not for it only
made the lire mo-ze, cheerful.
There r u in' a rapping at the door
" 110 w \Vim c:ln that, he at
our door this tt•ild night?" Said she to
herself as she ruse and went into the lit
tle entry.
The rapping was repeated.
" Who is there?" she asked.
" Pot• heaven's sake, let me in; I ant
freezing to death l" was the reply.
" Who are you? and how came you in
this lonely place on such an evening as
this?"
" I am a traveler, from below ; I lost
my way, and am dying with cold. For
pity's sake let me in, or I shall perish !"
Alilly hesitated. She was alone, and
it was three miles to the nearest neigh
bor's. What should she do ? She paused
in perplexity.
"() save me—save me ! lam dying!"
were the words that nlet her hearing-:
There was a heavy fall against the sill,
and then loud moans. I Iler woman's na - -
tore could stand no mop; true to the. in
stincts of her being, she unbarred the
door and threw it open. A closely muf
fled figure reeled by her into the room,
4ind,shutting the door she followed. On
reaching the fire-place, the stranger threw
off his disguise, and stood erect and
strung, without a sign of inconvenience
froid the effects of the weather. Milly
retreated from bins in amazement; but
recovering herself, she tremulously ad
dressed the man :
"I am sorry sir, you are so cold. It
is a bitter night to be abroad. Will you
not, sit by the fire ? And she pushed a
chair forward.
The man made no response, but stoop
ing over ran his fingers through the blase.
" Would you like to see sonic of the
men folks, sir?" she inquired, "if so, I
will call them from their beds."
The man laughed hoarsely and replied :
" Milly Dean, for that I believe is
your name, you cannot deceive me. You
are are all alone in this house. „I took
particular care to ascertain that before I
came. So you may as well make your
self easy on that score and do as I bid
you."
"Do as you bid me?" exclaimed Milly,
in terror; what do you want of me?"
"I want the twelve hundred dollars in
gold your husband received
‘ for his pro
duce two days ago. You probably know
where it is."
_
-lly sprang into - the - entrysiad — ivould
have fled, but the stranger caught her by
the wrist, and dragged her roughly back.
"You cannot, escape me, young woman,"
he said. "You will-find 'it most conven
ient to make a clean breast of it at on'oe
It will be better for you"
Dully strove to release.ber arm. • The
rough, treatment she received aroused her
temper, and indignation overcoiuo all
other feelings.
~ "Let No go, you scoundrel, lot me go,
or 1 will call for help," she cried.
"Call, you fool," skid the brutal fellow,
sand much good may „it do you. • keep
yourself still and tell •me whore the money
"I will not 1" she her' eye
flashing Are.
"You will not," he then.eplicil-; -"we
shall seo.~ .
He released her wrist so violently that
sloe reeled- - half -waytigress the' room:
Then ho seized that' sleeping ; infant . from
its cradle, and held it at arm's, length
IVAIME 702 WEIN IMMEELT 4GERSIA.
111
almost in the blazing fire, so that the
terrified mother exp,eted to see its light
garments catch the flame. .
"Now, then . where is is the money?
Speak out quick, or hear your baby shriek
with pain. I will burn it to death before
your eyes if you do not tell me where
the money is."
"Monster, give me my child," shrieked
Milly, endeavoring to reach the little one.
"Let me have m o irbaby."
r But every elfort was frustrated, for
again and again the strong band of the
robber thrust her back..
"See, its clothes will be on fire in a
minute," said the man, putting the help
less innocent closer to the flames. The
mother looked into . his eyes. She saw
there the look of heartless determination.
She became aware the cotton garments of
the child were smoking with the heat.
"How shall it be?" asked the ruffian.
"l[urry or the child dies. I have no
time to waste hero."
"Anything, anything, only give me my
child 1" she cried. Thc next instant it
was handed to her, and she sank upon
Thell krr trfol - dert toiref bosom:--`—
"Come," exclaimed the man, touching
her rudely with his foot, "you have not
told me where the money is."
"In the box on the upper shelf,''
she replied pointing to the closet.
The man loan 1 the box, placed it on
the table, and opened it: "so fir
ft is nearly all gold. I will pocket it
3vith
„your leave or without your leave,
just as you plEs•e" - He titled his pock-
etwith the golden coin, and threw the
empty box in the fire. Then he cause and
stood beside her.
"Put the baby in the eradle,"%she said,
"if you wish to save its life. I have
other business for you."
"What do you mean cried Milly,
eyeing the man with suspicion.
"Let me have it," he said, trying to
take it from her.
"No, no, I. will put the baby in the
cradle myself; you shall not touch the
poor little thin s , . Now sir," she contin
ued, almost choking wits excitement,
"what is it?" After, having laid the
pretty infant on its downy place of rust,
she stood erect waiting the reply.
"I am going kill you!" said the man.
"Kill me?" she exclaimed, her face
grown' , pale iv - ith terror. "Kill me !
What have I done to you that you should
kill me?"
"Nothing, nothing, my dear, only you
know you have soon me, and you will
know me again.' And he advanced upon
her.
'Oh, sir let me live. Have you not
done enough to take my husband's money
wit hmit, depriving. him of his wife too
will never say one word against you if
you will spare me, only spare Inc !"
As she spoke, she clasped her hands
and looked immediately at him.
!'l am sorry that I cannot safely grant
your request," he responded. "There is
no help fur it, so come, along out doors."
Ile reached out his hand to grasp
:dilly. But the instinct of self-preser
vation was strong upon her. She evaded
him, flew to the chituney-piece, snatched
her husband's loaded rifle_from.the hooks
on which it hung, cocked and presented
it at the breast of the robber. Her mo
tions were so rapid, before he could pre
vent it, her finger had pressed the trig
ger and there was an explosion. But
with e,inal readiness the man had stepped,
aside, the ball had passed over his head,'
and the next instant his grasp was on her
throat.
"I will teach you, to handle arms," he
said. You would kill me would you ?
I will show you a trick worth two of that."
"Mercy, mercy
. 1" cried the terrified
woman.
"There is no mercy for you," he ejac
ulated. Ile dragged her into the entry,
and flung open the door. "Out with you
into the sng*."
"Hold ! 'What is. this ?" exclaimed a
deep-toned voice. "Unhand that woman,
you scoundrel."
A powerful man stood in the doorway.
He dealt the robber a blow between the
eyes which sunk him back into the entry.
His grasp of Milly was relinquished, and
she fell to the flour.
"0, sir," she cried to the new corner,
"save me. This man has rubbed us, and
would murder me 4u that I would not tell
of it."
"Fear not, madam, he shall not harm
you," responded the stranger. "Fellow;
surrender yourself."
"Get out of my way," cried the robber
making a rush for the door, and striking.
at the stranger with a bowie knife. Giv
ing back a few stops the, stranger seized
the rctler by the collar, whirled him
round, and threw him on his face in the
snow. The robber struggled, but the
stranger knelt heavily on the small of his
back, and grasped his hair.
"Lie still," said the stranger, "or I
will send a bullet through your brain."
The robber felt the cold b3rrol of, a
pistol at his car, and oLeyed,. 141ilty
quickly brought ropes, at her rescuer's
request, and - tlie robber was bound hand
and foot. . .
"It was a strange providence," the new
comer said, "that overtook me with a
snow storm on the prairie, and forced me
an hour ago to . take refuge in your smoke
house, 'nearly dead with the cold." •
Milly acknowledged the truth of the
remark, and she knelt and thanked her
Father in Heaven for her deliverence.
The next day Milly's husband came
hemei.and when ho had been told, all he
remarked: "This fellow, was in the
village, the - day I sold, my, produce. It
will teach nib a lesson—,never to-let stran-:
gera-know-whe . n : monCy hi:plenty With . me,
lest they' shoUld be tempted to crime and
bring ruin on me and mine.".
That day some sixty or seventy mon
gathered: at the house 'of Air. Dean. The
,robber was redoguized as, a notorious
horse, thief, who had long infested the
neighborhood. There was a summary trial,
and then in demod — silenee the wretch
who would have burned' a haimlesS infant
and murdered a ihithful and . gentle Woman;
s ubmitted to his inevitable Ate. , A rude-
CARLISLE, PA., EPPYAY APRIL T 5, 18.62.
ly 'constructed gallows and a. stout-rope
ended his existence. So dirthe thinly
settled frontiers of the West do they
•mete.out justice to offenders against prop
erty and life.
About seventeen hundred.dollars in
bills was fo4d on the perseh "Of 'the rob
ber, besides the gold ho had -taken from
Mrs. Dean. As there were no claimants
for the bills, at the suggestion of the
stranger whose life had been salted from
the anger of the winter storm by the shel
ter he found in the smoke house, a thou
sand dollars of the seventeen, hundred
was presented to Hilly in conSideration
of what she passed through, mid the re
mainder of it was divided around.
On that very spot now thiire is a thri
yin, town, and one of the finest residen
ces in the place, is that where dwells
Milly Dean and her husband.
FrATED TO A HAIR
Some tinic ago, being in company with
a medical man, whom I will call Mr.
, we fell into conversation on the
uses of the microscope, in the manage
meat,.
c It-Am9vas-arratletst—ftNown
said he, "•I will tell you a story of' what
happened to myself—one which, I think,
well illustrate:4lllc importance of this in
strument to society, though'kwas put in
a very unpleasant position oiling to my
aquainhince with it.
" I. have, as you know, given a good
deal of atteution to comparative anatomy,
especially to the structure
- of the hair as
it appears under the microscope. To the
unassisted eye, indeed, seems
very much alike, except as it is long or
short, dark or fair, straight or curly coarse
or fine. Under the microscope, however,
the case is very different;" the white
' man's is round; the uegro's oval, the
mouse's, apparently jointed; the bat's
jagged; and so on. Indeed, every ani
mal has hair of peculiar. bharacter, and,
what is.,more, this character varies itecor
ding to the part of the body from which
it is taken—an important circumstance,
as will appear from my story, which is
this :
"rI - once receive( 7
ettechy post, con
taining a few hairs, with a request that
I would examine them, and 'adding, that
they would be called for in a few days.
Accordingly, I submitted, the hairs. to
the microscope, when I discovered that
they were from the human eyebrow, and
had .been bruised. I made a note to this
effect and folded it up with the hairs in
an envelope, ready for the persdri who
had sent them. In a few days a stranger
called and inquired whether I had made.
the investigation. 'Oh ales,' said I 'there
they are, and you wil?ifind ;Ind
their descritninii this hand
ing it to him at the Caine time. Ile ex
pressed himself as being much obliged,
and offered_ me a fee, which I declined,
telling - him' that I could nut think of
takinir anything for so small a npitter.
" It turned out, however, of more con
sequence than I had imagined, for with
, in a week I was served with a subpcerl,
to attend as witness on a trial for niur
' tier. This was very dfsag - reeablc, as I
have said; but there was no help for it
now. The 'case was this; A man had
hem killed by a blow from some blunt
instrument on the eyebrow, and the hairs
sent to me for examination had been
taken from a hammer in pos'session of
the suspected murderer. 1 was put in
the witness box, and my testimony, 'that
the hairs were from the human eyebrow,
and had been bruised,' was just the link
in the chain of evidence which sufficed
to convict the prisoner. The jury, how
ever, were no easily satisfied that my
statement was worth anything; and it re
quired the solemn assurance of the judge
that such a conclusion was within the
reach of science, to convince them that
they might act upon it.
" One juryman in particular—an old
farmer—was very hard to satisfy. 'Does
thee mean to say,' said he 'that thee can
tell any lair of any animal ?' I answer
ed that I would not take upon myself to
assert positively that I could do so,
though I believed I could. Said
he I'll prove thee!
" The prisoner, as I said, was convie
led, and I went home, and, in the busy
ife of an extensive practice, forgot all
about my obstinate old farmer. About
two years afterwards, however, a person,
an utter stanger to me, called on me with
a few hairs screwed up in a piece of pa
per, which he asked me to ekamine, and
report on
" Is this another murder case ?' I in
quired; 'for, if so, I will have nothing to
do with it, I've had enough to do with
that sort of work.'
'"
No, no,' said he, 'it is nothing of the
kind. It is is only a matter of curiosity,
which I would he very much obliged to
you if you would solve ; and if you will
do it, 1 will call or send for the result of
your examination in a few day's time.'
Having, received this assitrance, I under
took the investigation.
‘/ , When ho was gone, and I had. leisure,
I put - the. hairs.under the microscope,
and soon discovered that they were from
the back of a Norway rat.
"Two or three - days afterwards, as
was sitting in my consulting-room, an
old farmer-looking
,man was ushered. in.
saidlie, 'has theo looked at them
hairs?" '''
" I answered, 'and I find that
they aro from the back of a Norivay rat.'
Well,' exclaimed he, 'so they aro, Thou
hest forgotten me; but I have not:forgot
ten thee. Dost thee recolleot the trial
for murder at L---assizes ? I said,A
would prove thee; and so'J have, for them
hairs come froni the back of a rat's skin
my son Sent me froui Norway!' So the
old gentleman was guise satisfied With'
the prosf to:which lie had riiit,mo, and I,
as you may . suppose, was well • pleased
that my skill and sagacity had stood such
a queer propf as this, and mom convinced .
than ever of tho value of the !nicroscopo.').
Hero The doctor ended his story, -which.
Ihave given as nearly as possible in his
own words,.and won which I• believed,
that a thorough dependence may •be
placed. • • •
iii=l
FREI
Humbugging a il3
The soldiers in Kentucky are furious
for practical jokes, and are constantly on
.the,looliout
,for subjects. One was re
cently procured in the person of a new
teamster who had charge of six large,
shaggy mules. Jehu was also the pro.
prietor of two bottles of old Bourbon—a
contraband in camp—which a wag dis
covered and resolved to possess. Being
aware that the driver's presence was an
impediment to the theft, he hit upon the
following plan to get rid of him:
Approaching the driver, who was busy
currying the mules, lie accosted him with
" I say, old fellow, what aro you doing
there ?" -
" Can't you see ?" replied Jehu gruff-
ly.
• " Certkinly," responded the wag, "but
that., is. riot your business, It' is after
tattoo . , Oit there k a fellow hired hero by
the Geneial, Who curries all the . mules
and hoi•ses brought in after tattoo."
The mule driver bit at once, and want
ed to know where . the "hair dresser"
kept, himself. Whereupon he was di
tidelato Ituriural — N - olisures - tun t; with the
assurance that there was where the fellow
"hung out."
" You can't mistake the man." said
the wag, "he is a large fellow, and puts
on alhundering sight of airs, for a man
in business. Ile will probably refuse to
do it, and tell you to go to the devil, but
don't mind that; he has been drinking,ta
day. Make him come out, sure."
- elm posted on, and entering the tent
where Gen. :Selsion'iff the 4th Division,
sat in a deep reverie, probably consider
ing the most expeditious method of ex
pelling the rebel I3uckner from his native
State, slaped him on the back with force
sufficient to annihilate a man of ordinary
size. Springing to his feet, the General
ace)sted his uninvited guest with, "Well,
sir, who are you, and what the devil do
you want ?"
"Old hoes, I've got a job for you now,
six mules to be curried, and right off,
too," said the captain of the mules,
.nothing daunted at the flashing eye °lithe
General.
"Do -you know who you are addressing,
sir asked the indignant-eornmander.
"Yes," said Jelin, elevating his voice
to-a pitch which rendered the words au
dible a square off, "you are the felloW
hired by Uncle Saiu to clean them mules,
and I won't have any foolishness. ''Clean
them mules and I'll give you drink of
busthead."
"lou infernal villain!" exclaimed the
General, now pefeetly furious, "I am
(ken oral Nelson, commander of this Divi
pqm !"
Jelin 1-)laced the tbumb•of his right
hand a : rainst his nose, and extending his
finget.S . , :waved them slowly in a manner
supposed by some to be indicative of
groat wisdom.
The General's sword leaped from its
scabbard, and Jehu from the tent just in
time to save his head.
The boys drank the "big mule driver's,'
health in Bourbon. The story soon got
out, and is now the joke of the season.
Elephants on the Tight Rope
A VERY remarkable thing respecting
the elephant is his sensibility to music.
Under the power of music the ancients
could make him perform upon the tight
rope: There have been Blondin ele
phants During the eighteenth century,
whed•Wwas the fashion to disbelieve eve
rything asserted by ancient writers, such
as jElian, l'iliny, and HerotWtus, the sto
ries told of the musical elephants began
to be discredited, and they aro still read
and repeated' with a certain amount of
incredulity. The ancients evidently car
ried the art of training elephants to a per
fection never dreamed of amont , the mod
erns. Elephants have been exhibited in
London marching in procession, kneel
ing down when bidden by a wave of the
hand, placing a hand upon '° the head of
the prince," firing of pistols and the like;
but the feats they performed at Rome
were far more remarkable. Elephants
were bred at Rome, and they were train
ed by means of music. The dread in
spired by the clash of cymbals was over
come gradually, until it disappeared alto
gether. From the gentle tones of the
flute they derived such pleasure that they
express their satisfaction by beating time
to the tunes With their feet. Twelve el
ephants were taught to march into a the
atre to a harmonious measure, sometimes
in a circle, and sometimes divided into
parties, scattering flowers around them all
the wjille. Preserving their proper or
der, they would beat time to the music
during the intervals of the dance.
• Being provided with splendid couches,
adorned with paintings add tapestry, and
a banquet spread before them upon tables
of cedar and ivory, the elephants, in the
costumes of male and female personages
of distinction, would dind4decorously, not
one of them voraciousky,.„taki f dg,un undue
share of the delicacies, and all drinking
moderately out of caps of gold and silver.
Gerwanicus, according to Pliny, exhibit
ed elephants hurling and catching jave
lins, fighting _each other, :and _extmnting
the Pyrrhic dance. And it was through
their love for music that elephants were
trained to dance upon ropes. Four of
them Walked along a road of ropes,
rying a litter, containing a fifth, which
was feigning sicknes. Many writers con
firm the testimony of Pliny to the fact' that
the s3lephanti'valked backwards and for
'Wards upon the ropes with equal preci
sion. Senaca, - in. his Epistles, describes
an:elephitnt whoi:at the command: of , his
keeper, would-not - merelywalk, but kneel
dOwn upon •a -rope. Seutcditiedeseribes
an'elophitnt who,- in-the presence of the
Emperor Galba, climbed up-an incliried
rope to the .roof 'of the : theater and *de
scended in. the same way, bearing a sitter
upon his hack.. 4rri w i, Mentions an mite,
phant who,,perfermesl a, musician- to
his.,datioing comrades. With e. cymbal.
fastefid:totaackof his knees,*,and'a, third
to'hie til*. 'WOuld beat a. ,measure
with, astOnishiOg precision .and lceuracy,
while. the, other ,elephantS: danced
ciroro round/ him. - . , .
II
OUR tHIli BASKET
How can a duck be obtained when
wanted ? By juwping overboard.
Why-is an apple-tree like a crooked
wall ? Because it isn't plumb.
Who are the best natured men ? The
Surgeons—they are never out of patients.
Why is a good cook like a woman of
fashion ? Because she dresses well.
It is said the reason why Folio is of'
the feaainifie gender is because it always
has the last word.
He that is good will become better, and
he - that is bad worse.: for virtue, vice, and
time never stop.
" If I should be drafted into the ser
vice, what would you do l" said it gentle
man to his wife, lately.
" Get a substitute for you, I suppose
was the reply, where upon the worst half
changed the subject of conversation.
To' KILL RoAcmcs.--G et a pair of
heavy boots, then catch the roaches, put
them in a barrel, then get in and dance
on theta.
To K.Ewe TIEALTIIY.—Take a brandy
sinash„barly in the morning, throw it out
the window and eat your breakfast.
To CATtll 'lileF..—On going to bed,
put. some crumbs of cheese in your mouth,
and lie with your mouth open. When
the mous3's whiskers tickle your throat,
bite.
Mrs. Partington says that " nothing
despises her fiCrnitinli as to see people who
pyofess to expect salvation, go to church
:-.without:tbeir pulses when a collecticin
was to be taken."
The.ivay.,,to make water taste better
than.chauiPagne, is to eat salt fish about
si - vhoufs previous to itubiiJing it.
The old lady who mended her hus
band's trousers with a patch of grass, is
now smoothing her hair with the dumb of
a rooster.
Of little human flowers, death gathers
- rniri - y — . --- lfeplaces them upon his bosom - -;
and he is transferred into something less
terrtie than before. We learn to gaze
and shudder not, for he carries in his
arms the sweet blossoms of our early
hopes.
A superintendent of police once made
an entry in his register, from which the
following is an extract: " The prisoner
set upon we, called me an ass, a precious
dolt., a scarecrow, a ragamuffin and an idi
ot—aq of which, I certify to Ge true."
The editorial office of a Kenosha paper
islocated immediately over a recruiting
office, and the editor says the fifing and
drumniH , drives everything out of his
head I What a scampering there must
be 4:lown -over kis shirt collar I
A small lad asked permission of his
mother to go to a ball. She told him it
was a bad place for little boys. " Why,
mother, didn't you and father go to balls
when you were young." " Yes hut we
seen the folly ot• it," answered the moth
er. " Well, mother," exclaimed the son,
I want to see the fully of it too."
A Western clergyman, in presenting a
revolver to a volunteer said :
" IC you got in a tight place and have
to use it, ask God's blessing if you have
time, but be sure and not let the enemy
get the start of you. You may say anion
after you shoot.
Jones, while recently engaged in split
ting wood, struck a false blow, causing
the stick to fly up. It,struck him on the
jaw, and knocked out a front tooth.—
'' Ah," said Bill, meeting him soon after,
" you had a dental operation performed,
I see." " Yes," replied the sufferer,
" a.rc•idental."
"Ah, most we part? My poor, poor heart
Will pine in mute deepen..
Oh: ero iou gd, td cheer my woe,
Leave one look of thy hair!"
Alfred replied : It cannot be"—
And he tears canoe rolling big—
,' Pre not a lock to spare for the;
Dearest, I won a wig!"
The newest Yankee notion is a ma
chine by which a man can tell when ho
has become sufficiently drunk. It is
called a fuddleometer, and it operates by
giving,a fellow a sharp pundit in the ribs
the moment ho has got drink enough
in his skin.
A boy and girl of tender years were
disputing as to what their mothers could.
do. Getting impatient, the little damsel
blurted out by the way of a climax and a
clincher : "Well, there is one thing my
mother can do that your's can't; my
mother can' taki3 every one of her teeth
out at once."
Of little human flowers, death gathers
many. Ho places them on his bosom,
and he is transformed into something less
terrific than before. We learn to gaze
and shudder not, for ho carries in his
arms the sweet blossoms of our early
hopes. •
An old fellow who became weary of his
life, thought-- . ho might comlllit suicide,
but be did not il to go witho4,frfirst for
giving all his enemies. So, cogitating
within himself, he at last removed the
noose from his neck, saying :
"No 'twon't do—can't go. I never can
nor will forgive old Noah for letting them
copperhead snakes into the ark. Tha
nasty varmints -have .killed thousand
dollars worth of my cattle, and whi' he
and I meet I know there'll be a general
fuss. See if there won't." •
A BULL TAKEN Di TIIE HORNS.—
" Al 4 am very, sortji for.this.rebellion;
it prevents my going South," and said. ati
Englishman the • other. day, dining at , a
club hi Philadelphia, by invitation.—
"They tell ine, ho continued, " that the
Antericati gentleman' Is only, to bo . found
in the south:. that pray? Pan
you 4plain.iir!:,;7,.:' , •
. • q I etin't,",,rePlied ;his host ; "It is no
more to' e o.7.Pliudod'tb4 the statement,
so Often made tlitit:tliete',,are gentlemen
in 'England, but thni, UtiiiO,ef, them-. ever
'come to this country. --
1 $1 50 per annum In advance
( $2 00 If not paid In advance
A WITTY LETTER.
Reply of George Prance Train to the
Resolutlone of Thanks. sign e d me
Many Prominent PhiMiteiplatanin
At a meeting probably a spontaneous one,
'in the. Continental saloon, in this oityzresolu
lions were adopted 'expressive of the admira
tion universally fall for Mr. Train in his na
tive land. These resolutions were engrossed,
signed by one hundred of our prominent citi
zens, and transmitted to Mr. Train•by Judge
Kelly. The following is Mr. Train's amusing
reply r
• No. 18 St. James' efreet, London, 't
February 18, 1862. f
To the Hon. William D. Kelly, Member of Con
gross, Philadelphia.
My Dear Sir:—When it comes to pass that
a prophet becomes known in his oun country
—the wealttrof censure is usually in striking
contrast to the pOverty of praise—commenda
tion stimulates the mind to higher aims. But.
how few have the generosity to bestow it I
I ilaTO been so misunderstood—so misrepro
sealed—so abused in this country simply for
being true to my own, it pleases me to bask
in the sunshine of your good will. Your tes•
timonial is most welcome, because most unek•
peeled, and having observed that our people
forgot a man who has served the state after
one banquet - one snuff box—and one freedom
of the city, I am desirous of prolonging the
delightful s.cusatiou of being -patted-on the
shoulder.
In your kindness you mention my loyal
course during our night of revolution. I
could not help it. Some men are born patri
ots—others make themselves so—while others
have patrotism thrust upon them. There is no
credit in knowing how to spell—but poSiiive
disgrace in being ignorant on that point: So
there can be no credit in doing right while it
is infamous to do wrong. I always act on
first thoughts. Second thoughts are often de•
street ive of happiness. First thoughts make
patriots. Second—create traitors! Born With
in Calalloll.6/10t. of Bunker Ilill—nurtured about
half way between Lexington and Ooncord, my
lave of country was as natural as it was na
tional. The moment my nurse explained to
me about the Foul tin of July— I commenced as
a babe fining popguns in my cradle. Spent
more motley as a boy, in tire crackers on the
I•'ourtli of July than any other in the village,
anti as a man have been making Fourth of
July speeches all over tho Happen
ing to be In England, wbetvipytti Americans
were not the chief ornamOtte of the British
Museum—l commenced firing my signal guns
twelve months ago, the echo of which is just
booming back upon me from my Atlantic)
home.
As my-originality consists in appropriating
the ideas of others, lamat a loss to under
stand how the world has come to believe me s
unless it is by noticing the natural simplicity
of my disposition and the constitutional dia..
dente of my temperament.
The world usually pushes a man the way ho
makes up his mind to go—if going up they
push him up —if going down they push him
down--gravitation, however, making thospeed
the greater on the deoline.
Observing that the rifleman aims above the
mark he intends to hit, I point to the White
House with the intent. of lighting on the floor
of Congress. Start fair and wonders are easily
accomplished. When the swimmer succeeds
in floating—the river is crossed. Let the
world acknowledge a man to be intellectually
one inch over six•feetrund inches aro soon .
dropped, and feet are soon added to his stature.
Minorities rule the world, not majorities, as
evidenced by the fact of their being more polls
ticians in it than statesman.
When told that I am clever, I modestly say,
Yes, much cleverer than you think me to be
—this usually stops comment, surprising the
auditor by the honesty of the egotism."
Had I not more money (in prospective) than
I know what to do with, I would immediately
apply to the Administration, as other loyal
citizens do, for my compensation for being a
patriot. To prevent any &udden notion of the
Government in appointing cue minister to the
Cannibal Islands, I may as well mention my
disqualifications for high office. I have writ
ten some unread books—know some unknown
languages—write rapidly—speak well—and
have kept the 'ediumandments from my youth
upwards- never voted—never belonged to a
tire company-0 id Fellows—Free Masons, or
any other secret society—debating club or
military company t—never imbibed a glass of
ruin, gin or brandy, wine or any kind of in
toxicating liquor, yet never signed a pledge
or belonged to a temperance society—never
smoked a cigar—chewed a piece of tobacco—
or took a pinch of snuff—never failed to ac
complish what-I undertook—never had but
three months schooling—hence am pore fa
miliar iwith live languages than dead—never
had a chance to &Witt widows and orphans out
of anything, noo - eonsiderable sums ever having
been left any length of time in my hands !
never had an opportunity of taking advantage
of my country's embarrassment to make mon
ey out of my people—never was sufficiently
near the enemy to give me a chance to run—
hence think I should make a good Brigadier
general, and this is the first time I ever had
occasion to write a political letter which is the
only apology I have for its red tape style.—
Suffice it to say, sir— I deeply feel your re
membrance and appreciate your friendship—
and those you represent, and encouraged by
your kindness, I pledge myself to keep my fu
ture as free from blenish as is my past career,
and seine (lay hope to prove to you that your
confidence has not been misplaced—mean
while I ask you to present my warm regards
to each of the distinguished
,gentlemen who.
have honored me by signing the testimonial,
and request them to draw upon me at.sight for
any quantity of geed will, and to remember,
individually and collectively, when they cross
the ocean, that they 'will always find an open
door, a well filled plate, and an honest wel
come at number EigliFeen - St. James street.
Faithfully and thankfully yours.
GEORGE FRANCIS TRAIN.
GISSERAL SCOTT'S Grimm—The Now York
Times says : We are enabled to say that, even
before the surrender of Island No. 10, Gen.
Scott expressed the opinion that the Rebels
were so disorganized and demoralised that.
they would offer little further armed resist
ance to the authority of the Government, and
only make such stands and take such shifts ,
as their desperate leaders could intimidate or
cajole thorn into. This opinion from ono who
has judged and dealt so wisely_uptinall_publia
affairs, "in peen or war, heretofore, and who
appreciated in tho very beginning the magni
tude of the task of the Government in putting
down rebellion, and saw that it was not to be
accomplished by a direct mart:dila() the hos
tile country, is, we need hardly SaY 4 ;•of great
importance, and, will add much to thefceling
of confidonoe which Is now universal. •
BENJ4ItIN; CONPFSISAILATE BEWIETAILY er
ws.n4mThoWish•Mossenger, a• paper &ire
ted to' the interests of the Elehrews of the Mi.
,ted States, protests, very , justly, we think,
against the •reninrk. of Parson Brownlow, in
speaking of the • Rebel Secretary, df War, as
jienjamin, ti little miserablb Jew." Parson
Brownlow is pot generally very choice in his
language - when speaking of those who are BO
unlucky' as to encounter
.his wrath—but it is
in extreme brid taste, and obnoxious to the
censure of every right minded man, thPs to
identify a groat religious and national people
with such a consummate rogue 'find hapgmati
as this Benjamin. Tho irritating feelingtit is ,
miloulaterto,produco can. be 'welt mindeived,
by presenting to the mind• the character.Cf
such a thief as Floyd, for. instance; by deSig•: .
nating him "FWiid the Christioi," it 'is 'var."'
probable at some period of his , life.be had , ex
tended to him the rites of some olitmer,•intendt
ed to , make a Christian „of
Na 17.