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A. K. P.IIEEII, Proprle:tor.
Wm. M. po .
n b rCia, Editor.
VOL. 62.
- TEAM - S - 0 - F - P - TO LI GA T lON
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JOB PRINTING
The Carllslo Tiorald PItINTTNII OFFICE Is the
largest and MI 1•0111 plot, eqtahllohtnont in the roan ty.
Four good Presses. and It general variety of materiel
tilt vi for plain and rn nry work of every kind. enablns
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-DOLLAR -OR .-T WO,.
ITllboaxltious steps as we tread Our way through
Thk trouldeq. me xori t, :11,t an fit her r , .110i do,
May We our ,ruirory, ho able to viols,
I.rnevulrut. I,r ”I a doilar or two;
For tiring i , i dollar or two
Ell=
=ME
rn , 1,01 ..nun try or tnn n, as yon puns up.nnd down,
Xu p isspoi t .4 aot .11. it or t WO.
A 111/11.11 . 4,r t,‘‘.
It hms olaz p• rn••r to help nma Ihroo,ll
tIo• illo t,o. iv
I=l
11,1.11te :111,1 t.OO. 111..nry my 1,0) 4
Port' ai I. unJ (hit. cur 111 , 11 , 1, ‘Viii aut.
MET=
,1,1 tll
. 1,1101 , 0 ' j 14 :A I ,111•1,,r,rt,v
All.l Ow a I,lwittsl prir,ue ?
1 oil 111,1 , t • I e I. 11,trel•ozne to tin
I==
LOU:, .111 •,,,k S, I tl a or Lwo
And no a •,l
T 11.• your
lti , cl E . 11.11n ot n i1.,11.kt IS‘O
IYou'AL,You wirla your c‘i,tooro with faith to lotiol
And otuoll iu 11o•
eo . t.. a g r. 711 ii tow ITFJ p.
_You—lituot ltr,ll !pool o 11,11nror two;
Par tho roo 11..11., or too
And vain atroi hod lko a dolial or two
You may tae•paa. somolame,. Lot 11/11 worst 14 . all
IS to lied yout Seif hllolt Of a or two
"You're Right, sir, says Mr
M'loinsigan."
,s'wo II I,lkmen out nor
=I
IMIII/11!=1
Were sululung 11111 i I.lhing it laiily
MM=9
Who, riono, L on, tnin,..l,,ut and turned iu again
His nano, w x Paddy 0"Fot,
The other was Mr. Mel.
Bad luck t 1 the rebels, sap , ,
Ili, 111 l thIS I,kll.l.e•ry
'll .y thein,els es gintlem.., to,
15'10le I n tJarvil r•l.bety
Now it :t t. gintle to stall
=I
glad I'm ,r1r11.1..111.0 11 t,
You're 114111, •Jr. sa) s :01r Melliitli,;an
Thr ongur wanted a row
Andlne n i 1, they hate got in it
ThPy have chosen a had that is hard,
However they ,tilve for t, cot tam it
Now if it's thy uaguFs thy mane
By y, the. Ws a bla ttgairt
To light for a rause tint's so black—
You'ro right, sir,:bays Mr. Mel!larMisau
.loost mind what (mid England'a about, „
A sending her 'troops Into Canady ;
Aud all her old ships on the roost
Are ripe for POlllO treachery any day,
Now if she should mix in Ibis war—
To t link so it makes me head spin again—
Ould Ireland would have such a chancel
You're right, sir, says Mr. Mellon:gun,
There's never an Irishman born,
Ifrom Maine to the end of Seces-londom,
But longs fur a time and a chance
To.fight for this country in Ilessian-dom
And so if ould England should try
With treacherous friendship to sin again
They'll be all on oue side at mire—
You're right, sir, says Mr. Melquxiigan.
Uorroo for thu Union, nie boys:
And the talso ali Wil , l would bother It;
Seces.dtl'a a augur ao
Thu uu g ht to father it.
norroo for the
Now they ore liourid to go In again ;
It'a,Coreoran's rescue they'ro ut
You're right, air, says Mr.,ll,•Finuigon
THE THREE TRAVELING-BAGS.
There were three of them, all of shi
ning black leather; one on top of the pile
of trunks; one on the ground; and one in
the owner's hand; all going to Philadel
phia; all waiting to be checked.
The last bell rang. The baggage man
bustled, fuming, from one pile of ggage
to another, dispensing chalk to the trunks,
checks to the passengers, and curses to
the porters, in approved railway_ style.
" Mine !—Philadelphia I" cried a stout,
military-looking man, frith enormous whis
kers and a ied nice, crowded forward, as
the baggage man laid hi. 4 hand on the
first bag.
" Won't you please givo me a cheek
for this, now ?" eutreatcd.a pale, slender,
carefully dressed yelling man, for the
ninth time, holding out bag No. 2. " I
have' a lady to. look after,"
pr" Say ! be you, a goin' to give rue a
cheek for that 'are, or not ?" growled the
proprietor of bag No. 8, a short pock
marked fellow, in a shabby' overcoat.
" All right, gentlemen. Here you are,"
says the functionary, rapidly distributing
the three checks. "Pailadolfy, this?
Yes, sir-1092-1740-11 1020. All
right I"
" All aboard," shouted the conductor.
" Whoo-whow !" responded the locomo
tive; and the9train moved slowly out of
the station house.
The baggage-man meditatively watched
it speel away in tho.distance, and-then-,
as if a thOught suddenly struck him, slap
ping his thigh fr ho exclaimed, " Blest if I
don't believe—"
" What? inquired the switchman..
"That I've .gane and guy them ihree
last fellers the wrong -checks I The'euss
ed little bldek things - *was all alike, and
thorbotliWiae."
-" Telegraph," suggested the switehrnap - .
" Never you mind," replied the bag
gage-man. "They was all going to Phil ;
adelfy. They'll find out when they get
there.
They did.
The scene shifts to the Continental Ho
tel, Philadelphia. Front Fader, up stairs,
occupants, the young gentleman alluded
to in chapter 1, and a young lady. In
accordance with the fast usages of the
times, the twain had been made one in
holy matrimony at 7:30 A. M. ; duly kiss
ed and congratulated till 8:15; put aboard
the express train at 8:45, and deposited
at the Continental, bag and baggage, by
12:58.
Thay were seated on the s 4 e., the black
broad-cloth coat-sleeve encircling the slen
der waist of the gray traveling dress, and
the jetty moustache in equally affection
ate proximity to the glossy curls.,
" Arc you tired, dearest ?"
"No, love, not much. But you are,
am you "
No;' darling." •
KiSs, and a pause.
" Don 't it seem funny ?" said the lady
llwlll
.-
Thawe should be married."
" Yes, darling."
" Won t they be glad to see us at
George l s ?"
" Of course they will."
" sure I skill ottjny it scirlthich.
Shall we get there to nighty?"
Rap rap nip, at ii .1111)r.
A li Hty place lietwii,n
wan of' the i-o
-ri; Ind
.ky ye phize, stir ; its an M. P. is
waitiii :4 to :-ee yez
To see ! a policeman?"
I'is• sir.''
" must be , orne
" No • sm., it's yourself; awl he's wait
ing in the hall, heyant "
\Veil I'll go io—No tell him to come
here.'.
IMIE=I
"Sorry to disturb )on, sir," said the
:NI. I'. with a lowe Luis star on hi.
hrea,t, apparint: with ttrt",t. alacrity at
the waiter's elbow, llleve this is
.. ,.uut
black valise?"
ours, ec - Mtkity.
Julia's—thed•eht,.'s•lltin-Js. lit it,"
=BEE
MEI
circanislancvs about that
'ere valise, sir. Tclegraph (iallie this
morning that a burglar started on the
5..15 Philadelphia train with a lot of sto
len spoils, in a black valise. Spiiiitis
masked 'l' B. Watched at, the ferry.
=MEI
Sftw the Hack valise. Followed it up
here. Took a peek inside Sure enough,
there were the spoons. Marked
too. Said it was yours. Shall hare to
take you in charge.r ,
" lake we in charge :" echoed the dis-.
wayed bride-grown. But I assure you,
my dear sir, there is sumo strange inis
take.
"S'poSe you'll he able to account fhi
the spoons being in your call e , then."
" Why, I—l—it n:nt mine —lt must
be somebody else's. Somebody's put
them there. It is some villainous con
spiracy."
" hope you'll be able to tell a straight
er story before the magistrate, young man;
'cause if you don't you'll stand a smart
chance of being sent up fur Fix 111011t118."
"Oh Charles ! this is horrid. Ito send
him away. Oh dear, I wish I was at
home," sobbed the little bride.
" 1 tell you, sir, said the bridegroom,
bristling with indignation, this is a vile
plot. What could Ibe doing with your
paltry spoons ? 1 was married this mor
ning in Fifth avenue, and I am on my
wedding tour. I have high relations in
New-York. You'll repent it, sir, if you
dare to arrest me."
" Oh, come, now," said the incredulous
officer, " I've heard' stories like that be
fore. This ain't the first time swindlers
has traveled'in couples. Do you s'pose
don't know nothing? 'Taint no use;
you've just got to come along to the sta
tion Muse Might as well go peaceably,
'cause you'll have to."
" Charles this is perfectly dreadful !
Our wedding night in the station house ?
Do send for somebody. Send for the
landlord to explain it."
The landlord was sent tor, and Caine ;
the porters were sent fur and came; the
waiters, the chambermaids, and bar-room
loungers came, without being sent lor,
and tilled the room and the adjoining hall
—sonic to laugh, sonic to say they would
nut have believed it, but nearly all to ex
ult, that the unhappy pair hadbeen "found
out." No explanation could be given and
the upshot was, that, in spite of tears,
threats, entreaties, rage, and . expostulations
the unfoitunate newly-married pair were
taken in charge by the relentless police
man, and marched down stairs en, route
fur the police office.
And here let the curtain drop on the
melancholy scene, while we follow the for
tunes of black valise No. 2
When the train stopped at Camden,
femr gentlemen got off, and walked arm
in-arm rapidly and silently up one of the
by streets, and struck oil into a footpath
leading to a secluded grove outside the
town.
__Of the first two, one was our mili
tary friend in the blue coat, apparently
the leader of ,the party. Of the second
two, one was a smiling, rosy little man,
carrying a black valise. Their respective
companions walked With hasty, irregular
strides, were 'abstracted, and apparently ill
at ease.
The party stopped.
"This is the place," said Capt. Jon,es.
" Yes," said Doctor Smith.
The Captain and the. Doctor conferred
together. The other two studiously kept
apart.
• "'Very, well. I'll measure the ground,
and dO you place your man."
It was done. •
" Now for the .pistols," • whispered the
Captain to his fellow second.
"'They aro all aeady, : in the valise," re
..
plied the Doctor. -
•
The' principals Were planed ten paces a
part, - and wearing that decidedly uncom.,
fortable air a man has . ,, who is iu Momen
tary expectation of being-
rM2712, 702 TIS% ranswe GERGEA.
"Y - cu gentrabi3o,
ously, when I give the word," said - the
Captain. Then in an under tone to the
Doctor, "Quick, the pistols."
The Doctor, stooping over and fumb
ling atthe valise, appeared to find some
thing that surprised him.
" Why, what the devil—"
" What's the matter ? asked the Cap
tain, striding up. " Can't you find the
caps ?"
" Deuce a pistol or cap, but this."
De held up—a lady's night-cap I
" Look here—and here—and here !
holding up successively a hair brush, a
white night-gown, a cologne bottle,
anal a comb.
They were greeted with a long whistle
by the Captain, and a blank stare by the
two principals.
"Confound the luck," ejaculated the
Captain ; " if we haven't made a mistake,
and brought the wrong valise !"
The principals lookd at the seconds.
The seconds looked at the principals.
Nobody volunteered a suggestion. At
last the Doctor inquired :
" Well, what's to be done?"
u c k34' , ltaitr-ejaculatotirth •
Captain. The duel.can't g o on."
" Evidently not," P!cspotitled the Doctor,
'unless they brain each other with the
hair brush, or take a pop at each other
with the cologne bottle."
" You are quite sure there are no pis
tols hi the valise ?" said one of the
eipals, with suppre , ,ed eagerness,. and
dr:twill: 4 . a long breath of evident relief.
• We intnd, go iocr to the city and gel
pi,..i n k," proposed ihe Captain.
•• And by that titne it will be diok,"
,aid the Ih.ietori
D—d uhlucliy," said the Captain
" We shall be the' laughing stock of
the town," consolingly remarked the Doc
tor, HI this gets wind."
One word with you, Doctor," here
interfused his principal.
hey court. ri-cd
At the end of his conference with his
c rinciptd, the lh.ctor, advancin g to the
editain, conferred with fun 'then the
conferied with his principal. 'I he
,ccuinis conferred with each other. F
itralFY, it wm7Toimaily agreed between the
contending parties that a statement should
be drawn up in wining, whe'reby plinth
pal No. I tendered the assurance that the
offensive words, You are a liar" 'were
nut used by him in any personal sense,
but wholly as an abstract. proposition, in
a general way, in regard to the matter of
tact under dispute. To which principal
No 2 appended his statement of his high
gratilicati.n at this candid and honorable
explanati s un, and urnivalifiedly withdrew
the offensive. NI orqs You are a hcouti-
Lino," they having been-used hy him un
der a misapprehension of the intent and
purpose of the reinark which preceded
them.
There !incing no laiger a cause fur (iu
the duel was of course ended. lie
yincipals shook hands, first tsilh eaeli otli
tatl,-qicx.t with the seconds, and were evi
(lea) , very glad to gut out of it.
" And now that it is so happily settled,"
said the Doctor chuckling, and rubbing
his hands, "it proves to have been a
lucky mistake after all, that We brought
the wrong valise. Wonder what the lady
that owns it will say when she opens outs
and finds the pistols•"
" Very well for you to laugh about."
growled the Captain; " but its no joke for
me to lose my pistols. flair triggers—
best English make,
.and gold mounted.
There arn't a finer pair in America."
" OL, we'll find 'em. We'll go on a
pilgrimage from house..to house, asking if
any lady there has lost a night-cap and
found a pair of duelling pistols."
In very good spirits the party crossed
the river, and inquired at the baggage
room in referance to each and all black
leather traveling bags arrived that day,
took notes of whore they were sent, and
set out to follow them up. In due tithe
they reached the Continental, and as luck
would have it, met the unhappy bridal
pair just coming down stairs
.n e.pirge of
the policeman.
"What' upr inquired the •Captain.
"Oh, a couple of burglars. caught wilt
a valise fall of stolen property
"A valise! what kind ()I a valise Y"
A black leather valise, That's it t !.eve
'Here! stop! Policeman! Landlord!
all right: .You're all wrong That's
my valise. It'sall a mistake. - They got
changed at the depot. This lady and
gentleman are innocent. Here's their va
lise with hernight.cap in.
Great was the langhte, multifarious
the comment, and,deep the interest of, the
crowd in all this,dialogue, which they ap
peared to regard is a delightful entertain
ment, get up exPressly for their amuse
ment. (
"Then you say this 'ere is yours?"
said the plirment, relaxing his hold on
the hridegraum and nntifrunting the Cap
tain.
"Yes, it's mine,"
,i'And how did you come by the spoons?"
"Spoons, you jackiiikes!" said the Cap
tain, " pistols !—duelling':pistols!"
"Do you call these pistols?" said the
policeman, bolding • up one , of the silver
spoons marked 'T. B.'
The Captain astounded, gasped, "It's
the wrong valise again, after all I"
" Stop! Not so fast!" said the Police
functionary, now Invested with great dig
nity by the importance of the affair he
now found himself engaged in. " If so be
as how you've got this 'ore lady's_ valise,
she's all right, and can go. But, in that
case, this is yourn, and - it comes on you
to account for them 'ere stolen spoons.
Have to take you'in charge, all four of
ye."
" Why, you impudent scoundrel rorir•
ed tho Captain ;." I'll see you.,in--.
wish I had my pistols hero; I'd teach
you how to insult a gentleman !"—shalt
ing his fist. . -
The dispute waxed fast and furious.
The outsiders began 'to. take
. part, in it,
and there is nq telling how it would have
ended, bad not an explosion, .1611Oived bi
CARLISLE, PA., FRIDAY, APRIL 4, 1862.
a 11 6, v
. 1% fall an - d — a se m= of pain -- been
heard in an adjoining room.
The crowd rushed to the ec - ene - of" the
new attraction.
The door was fast. It was soon burst
open and the mystery explained. The
thief, who had carried °IF the Captain's
valise by mistake for liffix:own, had taken
it up to his room and opened it to gloat
over the booty he supposed it to contain,
thrusting his hand in after the spoons.
In so doing, he had touched one of the
hair triggars, and the pistol had gone ofT,
the bullet making a round hole through
the side of the valise, and a correspond
ing round hole in the calf of his leg
,The wounded rascal was taken in
charge, first by the policeman: and then
by the Doctor; and the Aluelists an,' the
wedded pair struck up a friendship on the
score of their mutual mishap, which eta
urinated in a supper, where the( fun was
abundant, and where it would be hard to
say which was in the best spirits—the
Captain for recovering. his pistols, the
bride for getting her night-cap, the bride
groom for escaping t'he station house, or
the duelists for escaping each offer. All
-rosolved-to-"mark-that-daywith—a-- white
stone," and henceforth to mark their names
on their black traveling IP:ga, in white let
ters,
T ETA 1 I,olt'S D r:A M.—A tailor, who
was dangerously ill, had . % remarkable
dream. Ile saw, fluttering in the air, a
piece of 0 . 11 .-- 4th nf a prodigiout44—lengthlcom
psed of all the 4444'4/J44 : p he had made, of
a 11 ro, The,angel of death
held the pi4444e of patch work in one of
his hands, and with the other gave the
tailor several strokes with a .ti eee o f iron.
The tailor, awakening in ,t fright, unnie a
vow, that it he recovered he would cab
bage no inure. Ile soon recovered. As
he was very diffident of hinn-elf, he
ordered one of his to put hiln
in 'aim! 4,1 his dream whenever,he cut.,
out a snit of clothes. The tailor was
some time obedi44nt to the intimations
given him by his api , rontice. But a
nobleman Living soot lion to wake a
coat out of a very rich stuff, his virtu
could nut re4 , i-L the,' temptation.. ais
apprentice put thti
(lint to no pnrpoi,e; Tsot tfrol with your
talk-about -the- dreatn,'' sad- the tailor-;-
"Cline was nothing Inl.e -"this" in lite
while piece of patch-won!: I saw in my
dream; and 1 obseived likewise that
there was a piece deticiontc, that which 1
am now gOing to take wilo`render iL com
plete."
A_MoDEL To A
seems to us that the following is worthy
he defunct but never-tkirgutten Wouter
Van
4 ". if
that the Plaintiff and 7-
pc itiit• were
partner, in the, groebif pjhat the
plaintiff lnutLfht out tl .- ,, ,,,etendant, and
!WIC the iUtere,l, ;UPI the
defy ntl,tnt p:tid for the note by deriveeln r: , ,
to the phon:iii a cow, which he warranted
nut breaulty, and the warl:anty was bro
ken by reason of the breachinel , s of the
e6w, and he drove Ow cow , Lack and
tendered her to the defendant, but the
defendant refused tb receive her, and the
plaintiff took her home again, and put a
heavy yoke or poke upon her to prevent
her Irian jumping the fence, and by rea
son of her yoke or poke she broke her
neck and died ; and if the jury further
believe that the defendant's interest in
the grocery was wsath anything, the
plaintiff's note was worthless and the
cow good for'nothin, either for milk or
beef, then the jury must tied out them
selves how they will decide the ease; tbr
the Court, if she understand fa - itself
—and she thinks she do—don't "know
how such a case should Le decided."
Re - " Wit° made you ?" inquired a
lady teacher of a lubberly boy who had
lately joined the class.
" Don't know !" said he
" Don't know !" you ought to he
ashamed of yourself, a boy fourteen years
old. There is little Flidten—he is only
three, he can tell, 1 date say—come here
who made you 1"
I tad," lisped the infant prodigy.
"'There," said the tu'chcr tliumphatst
ly,
" I knew he ()Lighter," said the '?,tupiel
boy.
" Why so ?"
" Cal Lie 'taint but a little timerigosince
be was wade!"
UNDERSTAND you are now in de
milk business, Bones, ,
Yes, Satit,' said be, ' I'se now in de
milk busiuess—fus--rate bisiness—pays
well.'
Glad to bear it, Bones?
But a inetfeller me'de udder day, an'
saYS he, ' Bones, you otter shingle them
cows of "ours '
Shiaglo ymir cows! Why what in
de wuild did ho ax 300 to shingiu do
cows for 'l'
Bones took a long breath, and ea4ting
a sly glance at ton, replied:
"lo keep the water from running into
de milk.
A schoolmaster asked ono of his boys,
on a cold :winter smornino• what was the
Latin word for cold. The boy hesitated
a little, when the master said, " What,
sir, can't you tell T"-" Yes, sir,' , said,
the boy, I have it at my finger's.end."
Many who would not for the, world ut
ter a falsehood, are yet eternally schem
ing ,o produce false impressions on the
minds of others, respecting facts, charac
ters, and opinions.
THE ror.towTNa slanderous paragraph
goes -unrebuked wag has invented a
new telegraph. He proposes placing a
line . 'of' women thirty steps apart, and
comm_ the news to the first of them
ma 'secret,'
Beauty can . nevor compensate for the
want of amiability, but amiability can
compensate, for the want of beauty.
A'geocl many men are in the best
health wheu the are ,eut of spiritg: . •
- The-Funeral of Willie Lincoln,
This-little-fellow-had-his acquaintances.
among his father's friends, and I chanced
to be one of them. He never failed to
seek inc out the crowd, shake,lmnds and
make some pleasant remark; and ~ this, in
a boy of but ten years of age, was, to say
the least endearing to a stranger. But
he had more than a mere affectionateness.
His self-possession—aplomb, as the
French call it—was extraordinary. I was
one day passing the White House, when
ho was outside with a playfellow on the
sidewalk. Mr. Seward drove in, with
Prince Napoleon and two of his sOc in
the carriage; and in a mock heroic way—
terms of amusing intimacy evidently ex
isting between the, boy and the Secretary
—the official gentleman took off his hat,
and the Napoleon party did the same, all
making the young prince-President a cer
emonions salute. Not a bit staggered
with the homage, Willie drew himself up
to his full height, took off his little cap
with graceful self-possession, and bowed
down formally to the ground, like a little
ambassador. They drove past, and be
.3v.ent.on_unconeernedly with his play, the
impromptu readiness and good judgment,
being clearly a part of his nature. Hi
genial and open expression of counte
nance was none the less ingenioys and
fearless for a certain tincture of fun ; and
it was in this mingling of qualities that
he so faithfully resembled his lather.
-With a/I the splendor that was around
this little fellow in his new hoinc, he was
so bravely and beautiiully kintsell, and
that only' A wild flower, transplanted
from the prairie to a hut-house, he re
tained his prairie habits, unalterably pure
and simple, till he died. his leading
trait seemed to be a fearless and kindly
frankness, willing that everything should
Le as different as it pleased, but resting
unmoved in his own comcious
heartedness. I found 1 was studying 111111,
irresistibly, as one of those sweet pi oh
lems of childhood that the world is blest
with, in rare places; and the m ews of his
death (1 wai absent from Washington, on
a visit to my own children, at the time)
came to me like a knell beard unexi,ect
edly at a nierrydnaking,
— Mil flit; al L
day of the fener,..
-fora the hour, to-take a near-farewell look
: atthe dear boy ; fur they had cub:dined
him to scud - limn,. to the West—to sleep
under the sods of his own valley—and
the eollin-lid was to be closed before the
service. The family had just taken their
leave of him, and the servants and n se s
were seeing him for the last time—and,
with tears and sobs wholly unrestrained,
fur he was loved like an idol by every one
of them, lie lay with his eyes closed—
his brown hair parted as we had krwn
the blutn:icr ‘l,l death ; but
otherwise unchanged, for lie was dressed
ad for the even ng, soil Lehi, ni talc oh the
hands crossed upon his breast, a bunch ut
c.xtiui:dte flowers, a message coining from
(Ins mother, while we were looking upon
hint, pray.ng that those flower.; nd;4la, be
presen co for her. :).110 was lytiig sick
in lick bed, worn out with grief and over
owatching.
The funeral was very touching. Of
[the entertainments in the splendid East
room, the boy had been, fur those now as
sembled, more especially, a most, life-giv
ing variation \\ ith his bright face, and
his apt greetings and replies; he was re
membered in every part of that crimson
curtained hall built only fur pleasure—of
all the crowds,•each night, certainly the
one least likely to be Death's first mark.
He was his father favorite. They were
intimates, oftenesOseen hand in hand.—
And there sat the man, with a burthen
on his brain at which the world marvels,
bent now with the load at both heart and
brain, staggering under a blew like the
taking from him of this child; His men
of power sal around him, nlcClellam, with
la moist eye when he bowed to the prayer,
as I could see from where 1 stood, and
Chase and Seward with their austere lea
tures at work, and Senators and Ambas
sadors and soldiers, all struggling with
their tears, great hearts sorrowing with
the President as a stricken man and a
brother. That lied may give him
strength fur all his burthens, is, I am
sure, at present, the prayer of a nation.l
A. PROMPT REPLY—The Rochester
Union. tells the following :, A- man re
siding at Schenectady, who has been in
the employ of the Central Railroad Coin
patiy, and is now a firennin on the road,
applied to ilr. Ilibbard, the Sui‘erinten
dent, for a pass to take him some point
on the road which lie desired to visit.—
The Superintendent declined the request,
and said :
"The company enificy you, and pay
you so much -per month tor your ser
vices. When your wages are paid",our
obligation ends. 11 you. were at work
lin• a fanner at one dollar per day, and
desired to go to Saratoga, would you ex
pect him to hitch up his team and carry
you there for nothing ?"
The fireman replied; "No sir; but if
he had his team hitched up, and was go
ing directly to Saratoga, 1 should—think
he,Was a beast if he would not let me
ride I"
rtm.AN Illinois assemblyman, debating
a question with much earnestness, moved
his chair from its usual place, and forget.
ting it when be had finished, sat down.
rather solidly where it ought to have been.
Above the roar of laughter. his voice was
heard exclaiming; "-Mr. Speaker, I still
have the floor."
. - A YOuNG lady, weeping and waving
her handkerchief with much assiduity on
the occasiOn'of the departure of a regi
ment, was asked what relatives she had
in the rdgiment, a'nd
_replied " cousins."
" How many ?" wus solioitiou4y queried,
"Why, the .. .whole regiment ; ar'nt
,thoy
Uncle 541'4:boys?" laconically replied
the lass.
It should litp necessary only to grow-old
to Ilecorne more indulg,ent. ,‘Ve shall
sold* seo-a fault Committed that wo have
not committed ourselves.
Mora Lottorw-Wante-d;--
The Cincinnati Gazette publishes the follow
ing pithy communication from a soldier at
Munfordville, Ky. Every ono who has a
friend in the army should read :it, and act on
the suggestions it contains:
Parents, wives, brothers, sisters, sweet
hearts, ALL, let me entreat you as a soldier,
to write us more letters. You have no idea
how much good they do us, nor in how many
ways they do good. Let me instruct you a
little.
EME=I
We are men, individual, self forming free
men. The tendency of army life and 'discip
line is to make us forget this. It merges the
individual in the mass, it makes us only parts
or one great living moving whole ; we learn
to feel that we belong to our superiors; that
we are only governmental targets to be placed
hero andeltere at convenience, to be shot at.
About all the recognition of our humanity
th it we can see in many of our officers, is the
fact that wo are given guns to shoot back with,
but even here we are drilled to believe that
we can't ram a cartridge, nor even dodge a ball,
unlessi we get a message along the line from
operators In epaulets at the different stations
above us. But these letters remind us of our
manhood, of our birthright, idividuality and
freedom. What though we may direct to
John Smith on the outside, with the names
generals, loigadiers, colonels captains, etc.,
used ifs guide boltfils to our obscurity ; they
tell us that at home at least we are not' over
lot.ked, and we perhaps recollect ourselves ns
Mr. Smith, or SMII E , 11., or they. Smith,
and the inteilect awl sehsibilities all commence
moving. and the machine becomes a proud
welt-coto.cious, God like work of
I=
They make us hotter soldiers, too. We got
the blues sotnetpues; we feel just liko going
to the dogs. Pet lot; , s we are Worn out With'
the duty, or we are all wct and muddy, and
the fit e Wont du anything but smoke, mini the
wind - Change: , often as we do and blows the
e.noktt right in our eyes.• And then mice is
bad and the crochets are worse, and the ba
con 1 , NVOI',I, and all this J.-4 wh,,, we are ly
took in the cull, damp hospital, w1:1;e
:muggy flosses 11111.111 t. to day and night with
their nasty old pewter spoons, and if Wl` were
nothing hut troughs to mix. up oils and pow
ders in. But the mail boy hands us a letter
—a. good long one trust home, tm from —ah !
you wont get it, to tell 1,7 at o ne, Ilmugh it'
did c u rve to our teeth, so we'll just let tt tly
around and sing awhile within us, and then
let it go Lock to 11-S cosy illst away down in
our w.mni hearts. Ws are nut tired now, the
tire has unit smoking, and leaps and dances
just like our spirits The old musty, rusty
crackers and bocunflre decidedly Letter, and
rif we shtt Foul-oyes-a l-h o td-un e-no t sess- i -we-ca- t ir
imagine that the collee k poured from the
bright sunny iffeed old 'cOlfee poi at home, en
riched with the richest kind nit Cl,llll
Britolb: g ore lost night. Or it
Nye :LI, in the lio-pintl tar Mall ::ye begins to
sparkle, the 1te.1.1 dn't oche so badly. the fe
y, bill , MP! to 1.1110 Clint's MO „Fief!, the lie
t. eo,llig in Will hctit r, just
11 , it his n ,ty nil :Leine hod tionesit, and not
the precious I:ttibt letter covered up in the
blankets
Ye-t. and they made IN letter Christians,
too. War is 111111.'1,11C, bellthenkli, devilish.
Quality it a, von may, with all that civiliza
tion and 12tristianity Can do, kt is yet the
mightiest reaping- machine in the harvest-of
ht I don't say that Cod hits twitting.; to
111 with this machine, but 1 believe that. hid
liebia I the veil of human wrath, Ile directs
' , very in 'vein int 0 his own ,glory. liut
who drive and relit and lead the mad instru
ment, are very itpt to get very much like it.
Many a titan enters the army almost a saint,
but leaves it almost a devil. Many a pure
minded, good boy, when carried away by it
beyond home Influences and restraints, is
carried further away from home character
and reputation and is ruined forever. But
these letters tire the strings of which your
hearts are the instruments and you can play
jte , t what kind of tunes
. you want on them
Flint Imv who was drunk anti swore so shock
hig' yestelday, took a good repenting cry
last night under his blankets - . The reason
was, that he got a letter in the afternoon
from home, and it reminded hint of his
church, (p rhaps ol church professions,) and
th e SAlt.ith Sellout and prayer meetings,
and it maybe that memory painted the
loving picture of the busily altar, and lie
remembers how his fat ,er . s voice trembled
and how they all wept the last time Ile knelt
there. ti, how lie wishes he was there to
ilight,*and a boy again to be taught to pray,
and put to bed and tucked in by his mother
And lie goes to sleep crying, (soldiers cry,
I saw one to day,) and praying, and lie
awakes in the morning a better man. Ile
reads his testament now,) and the one with
his mother's 113'110 in it,) and goes to the
meetings, awl Christians in the riigiment
whisper it.-about that he is converted and
"thank Gel and take courage: . 0, these
home influences how they do tie themselves
about our hearts! Cut them off, and unless
fdrtilie I by the stoutest bulwarks of grace,
we will lose our characters as Christians,
gentlemen awl men.
E=l
And now, in conclusion, allow me to give
you a few ideas as to how ycu should write
Write cheerfully. Do not enter into long
discussions about the miseries of the "poor
soldier," for we knoW what these miseries
are, and are not, far better than you do.
1 would net check the expression of a prop
er sympathy, but - we are disposed to wine
too much anyhow, and when you start the
tune at home we are sure to join in full
chorus.
Write long letters, and don't leave any
cold, blank spots on the sheet, like little
patches of snow. Interline and urossline it
as much as you please, so that when you
get through the regular course of the sheet
you will have some nice hit-bits for dessert.
Write about particulars ; we haysonengli
generals here. Tell us how many kittens
tumble ovor the , flour; how many calves
bawl at the barn; whether Towser's sore
foot is well yet or not; what kind of a dress
little Mary has gut; who took Miter Ann
sleighing last snowy and above all, who goes
home front singing Thelma —; - of
course, we. won't mention her name: but you
ought to do so, just as if you didn't know
anything about it. And-don't forget to speak
of church and Sabbath school, prayer meet.
MO, and what you talk about Sabbath even
ings, and what new hymn -you sing. •
And thus, having furnished the colors, our
imagination takes the brush and goes to
painting, and her finished stroke is always a
returning soldier boy, all covered with scars
and glory, and when she has laid away her
brush, sleep unpins the curtain and covers up
the picture of the dear.eld come. •
,fl feir THERE is in human nature gener
ally more of the fool, than of the wise;
and therefore those faculties, by whibh
410-foolish part of men's minds arestakoni
lire more potent. - •
per- "Mother the end of the world is
coming ?" • "What
. makei. you think so
chill ?" • "Cos them trowsers what You
ddjid never wear .out has got A twin':
big hole in 'eta I" .; _ •
•
•
IN regard to tpa,rriage, no delay can be
so ilabovrous tia undue precipitation'.
Ci 50 per annum in advance
( 02 00 If not paid In advance
if Mtn 1111 IN
Dlek ran so long, and ran no fast,
No wonder Ito ran out at last ;
Ho ran In debt, and then to par;
110 dlstanc'd all; and ran away.
TRUTH.—Every word of it. Cut it
out and learn it by heart.
We should make it a principle to extend
the hand of friendship to every man who
discharges faithfully his duties, and
maintains good order—who manifests a
deep interest in the welfare of general
society—whose deportment, is upright.
and whose mind is intelligent—without
stooping to ascertain whether he swings
a - hummer or draws a thread. There is
nothing so distant from all natural claims
as the reluctant, the backward sympathy,
the forced smile, the checked conversa
tion, tne necessitating compliance, the well
off are apt to manifest to those a little
lower down, with whom in comparison
of intellect and principles of virtue, they
frequently sink into significance.
A amt A good methodist minister, who
lived on a very small salary, was greatly
troubled at one time to get his quarterly
instalment. He had called a number of
times, but had each time been put off
with some excuse." At length lie went
to his steward, and toll him he must
have money, for his family were suffering
fur the necessaries of life.
"Money:" replied the steward, "you
preach flu money ! I thought you preached
for the good of souls !"
"Souls l" replied the minister, "I can't
cat souls, and if I could, it woull take a
thou and such as yours to wake a decent
meal."
A Hoot! UATAsTrtoutur,.— Saw.: " Bob
what makes you limp so
Bob —" Limp, I guess yeicitilimp if
you had walked between two rows of bar
rel hoops as long as I have. Why, the
outside of my legs aro raw a; a niece of
beef ; but I have gut an invention to cure
that difficulty. I'm going to take them
military pants of mine, and run a piece
ofbar steel right down through the stripes,
and then if any hooped female, .or coop
er's shop, invites me out shan't 11 avo
ls . saw'd off."
AtPl-.... A. Batchelor was rather taken aback
a day or two since as follows:—Picking
up a book, he exclaimed, upon seeing a
wood cut representing a man kneeling at
the feet of it woman ; "Before I would
ever kneel to a woman I would encircle
my neck
_ . with a rope an d stretch it."
And then turning to a young woman, he
irn f itired . 'lto you not think it would
he the best I could do?" "It would un
doubtedly he the best . fur the woman,"
was the reply.
:r.~- -
ry7,l_, Brown sp•akin, , ..., , of Joti li—to a
friend ,me day, and said to him, "Joe is
a tirst.rate fellow, but it must, be con',
fessed he has his failings. lam sorry it
is so, but 1 cannot tell a lie for any man.
1. love Joe, but I. love truth more." ''My
dear 11mwn,” said Joe, who overheard
the remark, "I never thomrht you would
prefer a perfect stranger to an old acquain
tance."
The body of a middling,-sized
man. says scientific authority, contains a
pound of phosphorus, which, if in a free
state, and inflamed, would burn him up
and every.hing around him. "Can't be!"
says a hard-shell, "for we know lots of
old batehelors and antiquated maidens
who haven't even phosphorus enough in
mu to make a match."
A distinguished divine, on a cer
tain occasion, while preaching with his
usual eloquence and power, said, "Breth
ren, 1 sometimes illustrate toy subject in
this manner ;" and putting his handker
chief to his nose, blew a blast loud
enough to wake the seven sleepers. That
was not the intended illustration, but
some of his hearers thought it was.
prj'YOUN(I MAN, do you beleive in a
future state ?'
In course I does—and what's more,
I intend to enter it as soon as Betsy gets
her things ready.'
Go to, young titan, you are incorrigi-
ble—go to.'
Co two ? If it wasn't for the law
against bigamy, whip me if I wouldn't
go a dozen. But who supposed, deacon,
that a man of your age would give such
advice to a man just starting into life.'
Ztai — A YOUNG and beautiful, but:poor
widow, was about to marry a rich .old
widower. ller friends wished to know
why she wanted to mercy him. She re
plied,"' fur pure love ; I love the ground
(meaning the farm, probably,) on which
he walks, and the very house in which ho
lives.' Xhere is a platonic love for you!
There is none of your school girl romance
in that.
Sidney Smith was'onee examining flow
ers in. the garden, when a beautiful, girl. ,
who was one of the party, exclaimed: " (2 ky ,
Mr. Smith, this pea will never eAroo t o .
perfection !" ," Permit me tbo o ,') sa id
he, gently taking her hand and walking
toward the plant, "to lead perfection to
the -pea V' - _
Of little human Rowers, death gathers
many. He places them on his bosom,
and he is transformed into something less
terrific than before. We learn to gaze
and shudder not, for he carries in MI. arms
the sweet blossom of our early hopes,
tegt = .A JOLLY old darkey down south
boright himself? new hat, and when it
commenced raining ho put it under his
coat.. When asked• why he didn't. keep
his hitt o►€his",lroad ho replied : De hat's
.mino . ; bought•him.wid ! ray own •money ;
head b'longs to massa, let ho take keer he .
own. property."
WHEN a wise ritqn plays the fool 'a
woman is generally at•tho bottom of it.
far TitE rebels are in distress—having
a Burn (in ono) side, and a Foote vigor
ously applied at the other. •
Value the friendship ofhim whostands
by you in the storm swarms : . of insects
will surround you ia thosunstdne, .
NO 14