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A. li. IMERII, Proprietor.
Wm. 111. PORTER, Editor.
VOL. 62
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Cfttsa Not'tql.
THE LIFE-CLOCK
Ti'paa ,, e lit' le alyt.lo
I=l
Th a be it ,t 3 kn I 1,-11,0i on
Frol murrain 4 nntil 0 . in
dad when the s , u 1 is wrapped in sleep,
IMIIIIIIIIIEIIIIIIIII
It tlekg, nml tickv th , • ni2,116
/3101111=1
If 011 that of art
15'111.'11 Ic oells the 111.1ee lieu.'
Bat, art itv'er forat.t.t it?r tit.l c,,lttatived
Tito elo•lc'stnat;it•
Nor not in gold nor dcrlce d with gem.,
By wealth and pride pIISSI,SI'd ;
Bat rich or poor, or high or low
Each hears it io Ws breast.
Wh, el lifV s d oer , stream, 'mid bedding flowers
All still awl seßly gilds,
Like the ,vavohlt's itch, with a gonth, boat
It Warne of paining tides
When threntenin , .; darkness gathers o ' . 'r,
And hope's bri4hL visitms
pike the so lion' sti ok,UI Ike un u lit mt onr
It. beateth heavily
Whon pa ion nerve; the ‘cirrior's arm
Filr deeds of hale and wrng,
Thqiigh in v - err,,t n6t Mt fearful gaunt!,
Thu uel lis devil and string
When eyes to eyes are gaffing soft,
And tender words are spoken,
Then fast and wild it rattles on,
As if with love 'twore broken.
Sueh k the elocck that measures life,
Of flesh rind spirit blended;
And thus twill run within the breast,
Till that strange 1141, is ended.
THE FATHERLAND
IME•
Where Is the true man's fatherland?
Is it where he by chance is born?
Datil not the yens:ling spit it scorn
To null Mint 111410, to be ,pan tied?
0, yes! his flailed:And must be
As the biue heaven wide and free:
I, it a1,,n0 ‘N here freedom is
W here (hid is liad and man IN man!
both ho not viaith a bro'ador span,
For tho soul's lava ,if home than this?
o,'yes' his (slim lan I must ho
As the blue heaven wide ted free!
Where', a human heart dnth near
Joy's myrtle wreath or sorrow's gyres,
Where', a 11111,11 M spirit htrives
After n Mt Ines , true and fair,
Thsre in the true inqn's birth plaro grand,
Ills is a a‘irld-ai , ', lathe land!
IVheru'er n Fim dr ,lase doth
Wlpro'or orle 111311 Ittly 1,4•1 p aribt
Thank hi /Pi! thri,ht brother,—
That spot of earth is thine and mine!
There is the true HUM'S 6a th•plare grand,
Ms is,, nen Id.wido fatlim land!
t.'rnui the Atlantic
1,0 \"1.; AND SKATI,„S
IN TWO PA ill's
l' ll' I' ]
CRAP l' Ett,
ST+LATING AS A nsE ART
Of all the plays that are played by this
playful world; . on its play-days, there is no
play like Skating.
To prepare a board ror Clio moves of this
game of games, a panel fo: the drawings
this Fine Art, a sta,4e for th e i ati, hots
and pirouettes of its graceful adepts. Zero,
magical artificer, had been, for the lust
twu nights, sliding at lull speed up and
down the North river.
We have heard of Midas, whose touch
made gold, and of the virgin under whose
feet sprang roses; but Zero's : heels and
toes were armed with more precious influ
ences. They left a diamond way, where
they slid,—a hundred and fifty miles of
diamond, half a mile wide and six inches
thick.
Diamond can only reflect sunlight; ice
can contain it. Zero's product, liner even
than diamond, was HO—at the rate of a
tnillion to the square foot—with bubbles
immeaAurably little, and yet every cue big
enough to comprise the entire sun in
small, but without alteration or abridge
ment. When the sun rose, each of
those wonderful cells was ready -to catch
the tip of a sunbeam and house it in a
- shininn—abode.
Besides this, Zero had inlaid its work,
all along the
,shore,, with exquisite mar.
quetry of leaves, brown and evergreen, of ,
sprays and twigs, leaves and grasses.
No parquet
• any palace from Pon-
Cainebleau to 'St. Petershurg, could show
such delicate patterns, or 'could gleam so
brightly, though
,polished with all the
wax in Christendom.
On this fine pavement, all the way from
, Cohoes to Spuyten Duyvel, Jubilee• was
gliding without friction, the Christm:A
morning of these adventures. .
Navigation was closed. Navigators
'had leisure. The sloops and• schooners
were frozen in along the shore, and tugs
and barges, were laid up in basins, the float
ing palaces, were down, at New York, de-
Adurizing their bar-rooms, regilding their.
'bridal chambers, Mid enlarging their spit,
toon accomodations plow and aloft for next
summer. All the population was out on
the ice, skating, - slidimg, - sledding, slipping
tumbling, to its heart's content.
One person out of every Dunderbunk
family was of course at home, roasting
Christmas turkey. The rest were already
at high jinks on Zero's Christmas present
when Wade and the men came down from
the meeting.
Wade buckled on his new skates in a
jiffy. He stamped to settle himself, and
then flung off half a dozen circles on his
right leg, half dozen with his left, and
the same with either leg backwards.
-The ice, traced with these white peri
pheries, • showed .like a blackboard where
a school had been chalking diagrams of
Eue,id, to pointat with the "slow unyield
ing finger" of dewonsh•dtion.
. .
"Hurrah . rules Wade., halting in
front of the men, who, some on the Foun
dry wharf, same on the deck of our first
acquaintance at Dunderhunk, the tug, "I
cnbuster," were putting on their skates
or watching him. "Hurrah! the skates
are peri'ection! Are you ready, Bill?"
"Vcs," says Tarbox, whizzing off rings
•
as exact iiotto's alo,,graph.
quit - , then," ‘Vade said, "we'll give
Dundurbank n laugh as we iiritvlisvd,la,t
They got under full iwadwuy, Wade
backwards, Bill forwards, holding hands.
'When they wore near enough to the
merry throng wit, in the stream, both
(hotp, t! into a sitting po,ture, wi t h 11)!:!
left, knoe bent, and each with his ri 2 ht
su•etched alit. 1 . mile! to tho ice anti
c'nnpaetly by the nth nails leg
In thi = quoer inure tiny rushed through
the laughin,z crowd.
The:l all Pendorhunit formed a ring,
agog for the grand show of
SK ATI - NC/ AS A FINE ART
The world loves to see Greta, Artists,
and expects them to do blicir duty.
It is hard to treat of this Fine Art by
the Art of Fine Writing. Its eloq UCH I
motions must, be seen.
To skate Fine Art, you must have a
Body and a Soul, each of the First ()rder,
otherwise yod will never ~et out of coarse
art and skating in one syllable So touch
for yourself, the motive power. And
your machinery,—your smooth bott.uned
tuckers, the same shape stein and stern,
this must he as perfect as the man it
moves, and who moves it: -
Now suppose you wish to skate so that
the critics will say, "See I this athlete
does his work as Church paints, as Dailey
draws, as Palmer chisels, as Whittier
strikes the lyre, and Longfellow the dul
cimer; he is as terse as Emerson, as
clever as Bohnes, as graceful as Curtis;
he is as calm as Seward, as - keen as Phil
lips, as stalwart as Beecher; he is Gari
baldi, he is Kit Carson, he is Blondin ;
ho is as couiplew as the steamboat Me
tropolis, as Steers' yacht, as Singer's
sewing-machine, as Colt's revolver, as the
steamplough, as Civilization." You wish
to he so ranked among the people and
the things that lead the age;—consider
the qualities you roust have, and while
you consider, keep your eye on _Richard
Wade, for he has them all in perfection.
First—of your physical qualities. You
must have lungs, not bellows; and....an
active heart, not an assortment of sluggish
auricles and ventricles. You must have
legs, not shanks Their shape is uniin
portant, except that they must not
interfere at the knee. You must have
muscles, not flabbiness ; sinews like wire,
nerves like sunbeams; and a thin layer
of flesh to cushion the gable•ends, wher,9
you will strike, if you tumble,—which,
once fur all be it said, you must never do.
You 'must be ad momentum and no iner
tia You roust be one part grace, one
force, one and the rest caoutehoue,
Manilla hemp. and watelispring Your
machine, your body, must be thoroughly
obedient. It must go just so far and no
farther. You have got to be as unerring
as a planet holding its own, emphatically,
heiween forces centripetal and centrifu
gal. Your aplomb must he as absolute
as the pounce of a Neon.
So much for a few of the physical
qualities necessary to be a great Artist in
Skating. See 'Wade, how he shows them
Now for the mural an intellectual.
Pluck is the first; it always is the first
(luality. Then enthusiasm Then pa
tience. Then pertinacity. Then a fine
;esthetic faculty,—in short, good taste.
Then an orderly and Submissive mind,
that can consent to act in accordance with
the laws of alt Circumstances, too,
oust have eon reasonably favorable.
Tho well-known skeptic, the King of
tropical Bantam, could not skate, because
he had never seen ice and doubted even
the existence of solid water. Witilircing
ton, after the battle of Chevy Chase,
could not have skated, because he had no
legs,— froVr fellow !
But granted the ice and the legs, then
if you begin in the elastic days of youth,
when cold does not sting, tumbles do not
bruise, and duekings do not wet; if you
have pluck and ardor enough,- to try eve-.
rything ; if you work slowly ahead and
stick to it; if
, ytu have" good tasto and a
lively invention ; if you are a man and
not a lubber;—then, in fine, you .may
become a Great Skater, just as with
equal power and equal patns you may put
your grip on goy kind of Greatness.
—The-toelmolog-y-otskating.is_imperfeet.
Facv of the grCat, feats, the, Big Things,
have admitted names. If I attempted to
, catalogue ' Wade's achievements, this
chapter might become an unintelligible
'rhapsody. A sheet of paper and a pen
point cannot supply the place of a sheet
of ice and a skate.edge. Geometry must
have its diagrams, Anatomy its corpus to
carve. Skating also refuses to bo spir
itulized into a Science; it remains an
Art, and cannot be expressed in a form
lila. •
Skating has its Littlo Go, its Great Go,
and its Baccalaureate, its M. A., its F.
S. D. (Doctor of Frantic Skipping), its
'A. G. D. (Doctor of Airy Gliding), its
.T. D. (Doctor of No Tumbles), and
finally its higliest degree, U. P: (Unap..
proacbable Podographer). -
Wade was U. P.
There Niias hvdred of Dunderbunic,
ors who had passed
,their Little Go and
PRMER, - Iro2. TRW :WAD/altar -6111MIRto
could skate forward and - baelowd
; A half-hundred, perhaps, were. through
their Great Go; these could do outer
:edge freely. A dozen had taken the
Baccalaureate, and were proudly repeat
ing, the pirouettes and spread-eagle of
that degree. A few could cross their
feet, on the edge, forward and backward,
l andshift edge on the same foot, and so
w,,erc. Magistri Arils.
Wade U. P., added to these, an in
definite list of combinations and fresh
!contrivances. He spun spirals slow, and
:spirals neck or nothing. He pivoted on
one toe, with the other toe cutting rings,
inner and outer edge, forward and back
ward. Ile skated on one foot better than
the M. A. s could on both. He ran on
his toes; he slid on his heels ; he cut up
shines like a sunbeam on a bender; he
swung, light as if he could fly, if he
pleased, like a wing -footed Mercury ; be
glided as if will, not muscle, moved him ;
he tore about in frenzies ; his pivotal leg
stood tirm, his balance leg flapped like a
.inteeful pinion; he turned somersets ;
: he jumped, whirling backward as he
went, over a platoon of boys laid flat on
the ice;—the last boy whineed, and
thought, he was atuputatcd ; hut Wade
flew over, and the boy still holds together
is well as suet bey:-; Besides this, lie
could write his name with a flourish at
the end, like the ruhri,a of a Spanish
,Ile could phodograph any let
ter, and multitudes of-ingenious curli
cues which might pass for the alphabets
i
of unknown tongues. lie could not!
tumble.
It. was Fine Art.
Bill Tarbox sometimes pressed the
&tampion hard. But Bill stopped just
short of Fine Art, in High Artisauship.
flow Dunderbunk cheered this won
drous displ , y! llow delighted the whole
population was to believ,q,„ they possessed
the best skater on the North River
[low they struggled to imitate ! how
they tumbled, some on their backs, scone
on their faces, some with dignity like the
dying Cesar, sonic rebelliously like a cat
thrown out of a garret, some limp as an
ancient acrobat ! How they laughed at
themselves a..d at each other !
"It's all in the nun' skates,'' says
Wade, apologizing fur his unapproachablo
power, and finish.
"It's sulhin . in the man says Smith
W heelwright.
"Now chase me, everybody," said
Wade.
And, fur a quarter of an hour. he
dodged the merry crowd, until ta last,
breathless, lie let himself be touched by
pretty Bell Purtott, rosiczt of all the
Dunderbunk bevy of rosy maidens on the
ice.
"He rather beats Besting," says Capt.
Isaac Ambuster to Smith Wheelwright.
"It's so cold there that they can skate all
the year round ; but he beats them, all
the same."
The Captain was sitting in a queer
ittle bowl of a skiff on the deck of his
ug, and rocking it like a cradle, as he
alked.
"Bosting's always bard to beat in any
thing rejoined the ex-Chairman. "But
if doiting is to be beat, here's the man
to du it."
And now, perhaps, gentle reader, you
think I have said enough in behalf of a
limited fraternity, the skaters.
The next chapter, shall
, take up the
cause of the Lovers, a inure numerous
body, and we will see whether True Love,
which never 'nukes "smooth running,"
can help its proBress by a skate-blade.
CII A II ER VI
''GO NOT, 11 .\ I'PY DAY, TILL THE
MAIDEN YIELDS."
Christ IllaS noon at Dunderbunk. Every
skater was in galloping glee,—as the elec
tric air, and the sparkling sun, and the
glinting, ice had a right to expect that
they all should be.
Belle Purtett, skating sidiply and well,
had never looked so pretty and graceful.
So tlwught Lill Tarlaix.
He hail not spoken to her, nor she to
him, for inure than six months., The
poor fellow was ashamed of himself and
penitent for his past bad courses. And
so, though he lonired to have his old
flame recognize him again, and though
he was bitterly jealous and miserably
afraid he should lose her, he had kept
away and consumed his heart like a true
despairing lover.
But to-day Bill was a lion, only second
to Wade, the unapproachable lion-m-chief.
Bill was reinstated in publio esteem, and
had won back his standing in the Faun
dry. He had to-day made a speech
which Perry Purtett gave everybody to
understand "none of Senator Bill Sew
ard's could hold the tallow to." Getting
up the.. meeting and presenting Wade
with the skates was Bill's own scheme,
and it had turned out an eminent success.
Everything began to look. bright to him.
His past life drifted out of his mind
like the rowdy tales lie used to read in-the'
Sunday newspapers.
He had watched Bello Purtett all the
morning, and saw that she distinguished
nobody with her smiles, not oven coq du
village, , Ringdove. Ho also observed
that sho was furtively watching him.
_ 111-and-by she sailed out of the crow 4
and weni — officlittle - wayto - p - ractiie:
"Now," said he to himself "sail- in,
Bill 'Tarbox I"
Belle heard the sharp strokes of a
powerful skater coming 'after her. - Her
heart divined who this might be.•- She
sped awal like the swift Camilla, and her
modest drapery showed just - enough 'and
"ne quid nimis!" of her'ankles.
•
Bill admired the grace and the ankles
immensely. But his hopes sank a little
at the flight,—for he thought she per
ceived his chase and meant to drop him.
Bill had not had a_classical education,
and knew nothing of Galatea in the Eo
loguo,,how she did not hide, until she
saw her swain was looking fondly after - ,
"She wunts to getaway," ho thought.-
"But
_she shan't,---'-no, not if I bave to
followlier to Albany."
Be struck out ..inightily. Presently
the swift Camilla let herself be overtaken.
CARLISLE, PA., FRIDAY, MARCH 14, 1862.
"Good- morning, Miss.-PUrtetVr(diiii.r.
god air.)
"Good morning, Mr. T*box." (Taken
by surprise air.)
"I've been admiring your skating,"
"Have you ?'' rejoins Belle, very cool
and distant.
"Have you been long on the ice?" he
inquired hypocritically. •
"I came on two hours ago with Mr.
Ringdove and the girls,".'returned she,
with a twinkle which said, "Take that,
sir, for pretending you didnot see me."
"You've seen Mr. Wade skate, then,"
Bill said, ignoring Ringdove.
"Yes ; is'n't it splendid ?" Belle re
plied kindling.
"Tip- top."
"But then he does everything Utter
than anybody."
"So he does ?" Bill said,—true to his
friend, and yet beginning to•be jealous
of this enthusiasm. It was not the first
time he had been jealous of Wade; but
he had quelled his fears like a good fel
low.
Belle perceived Bill's. jealousy, and
could have cried for joy. Shehad known
as little of her once lover's heart as he of
her's. She Only knew that he stopped
corning to see her when ho fell, arid had
not renewed his visits now that he was
risen again. If ;die bad riot been charm-
ingly ruddy with the brick air and exer
cise, she would have betrayed her pleas
ure at Hill's jealousy wjrh a fine blush.
The sense of recovered power Made her
wish to use it again. She must tense
him a little. So she continued, as they
skated on in good rhythm--
"Mother and I wouldn't know what to
do without Mr Wade: We like him so
much,”—said ardently.
What Bill feared was true, then, he
thought. Wade, noble fellow, worthy to
win any woman's heart, had fascinated
Isis landlady's daughter.
"I don't wonder you like him," said
he. "Ile deserves it."
Belle was touched by her old lover's
forlorn tone.
"'Fe does indeed," she said. "He has
helped and taught, tts alhuto mtich. Ile
has taken such good care of Perry. And
then"—here she govei.-hots ; companiop
little look and a little smile—"he speaks
so kindly of you, Mr. Tarboi."
Smile, look, and words.eleetrifled Bill:
He pave such a spring on' his skates : that
he shot far ahead of the lady. He
brought himself hack with a sharp turn.
"He has done kinder than he can
speak," says Bill. '4le hat wade a man
of me again, Miss 8e11e4 . 4 .
" know it. If mistelf . "Yutt - very tap
py to hear you able to say so of yourself."
She spoke gravely.
" Very happy"—about anything that
concerned him */ Bill had to work off
his overjoy at this by an exuberant flour
ish. He whisked about Belle,—outer
edge backwark. She stopped to admire.
He finished by describing on the virgin
ice, before her, the letters B. P., in his
neatest style of podography easy letters '
to make, luckily.
" Beautiful I'' exclaimed Belle. " What
are those letters ? Oh ! B. P. ! What
do they stand for ?"
" Guess !"
" I'm so dull," she said, loookingbright
as a dituond " Let me think I 13. P. 'e
British Poets, perhaps."
" Try nearer home !"
" What arc you likely to be thinking
about that begins with B. P.?—Oh, 1
know! Boiler Plates !"
She looked at him,—innocent as a
lamb. Bill looked at her, delighted with
her little coquetry. A woman without
coquetry is insipid as a rose without scent,
as Champagne,, without bubbles, or as
coaled beef without mustard.
" It's something I'm thinking of most
of the time," says he ; " but I hope it's
softer than Boiler Plates. B. P. stands
for Miss Isabella Purtett."
" Oh !" says Belle, and she skated on
is sileace.
" You came down with Alonza Ring
dove ?" Bill asked, suddenly, aware of an
other pang after a moment of peace. -
" Ile Came with me and his sisters,"
she replied.
Yes; poor Riugdove had dressed 'him
self in his poor,
black, put on his
brightest patent-leather boots, with his
new swan-necked skates newly strapped
over them, and wore his new dove col
ored overcoat with the long skirts, on
purpose to be lovely in the eyes of Belle
on this occasion. Alas, in vain I
" Mr. Itingdove is a great friend of
yours, isn't ho?"
" If you ever came to see me now, you
would kuow.who my friends are, Mr. Tar
box."
- " Would you be my friend again, if I
came, Miss Belle !"
" Again ? I have alwayS been so,—
always, Biil."
~
more
" Well., then, something than my
friend,—now that I am trying Co be wor
thy of more, Belle ?"
" What more can I bo ?" she said, soft-
ly.
ca My wife."
She curved to the right. He followed.
To the left. He•was tolinsbaketroff.
you promise me not to say
waives instead of valves, Bill ?" she said,
looking pretty and saucy as could be.—
"I know, to say W lor fashinable
in the iron business, but I don't like it,"
" What a thing woman is to dodge!"
says Bill. " Suppose I told you-that mon
brought_up inside of boiler's, hammering
on the inside against twenty hammering
like Wulcans on the Weide, get their
ear sai dumbfgundered that they can't
tell wliet.her they aro .saying, valves or
waives, vice or virtme,---suppose I told.,
you that = what would yoursay, Belle ?"
"Verhaps I'd say that you, pronounce
virtatso well; and act it so sincerely, that
dan't Thake any objection to your.other
words., If you'd asked me to be your vile
Bill,- I might }lave saiddidn'A,..under
stand; but.wife I do under Stand; and I.
say"— ° - ,
. • She nodded, and. tried to skit° off.
Bill stuck close to her side. •
=I
"Is this-Erne Beller. he saidrainTio - §
doubtfully.
"True as truth ?"
She put out her hand. He took it,
and they skated on together,—hearts beat
ing to the rythm of their movements.
The uprpar,and merriment of the vil
lage came only faintly to them. It seem
ed as if all Nature was hushed to listen to
their plighted troth, their words of love
renewed, more earnest for long suppres
sion. The beautiful ice spread before
them, like their life to come, a pathway
untouched by any sorrowful or weary foot
step. .
The blue sky was cloudless. The keen
air stirred the pulses like the vapor of fro
zen wine. The benignant mountains
westward kindly surveyed the happy pair,
and the Sun seemed created to warm and
cheer them.
"And you forgive me, Belle ?" said the
-lover. "I feel as if I had only gone bad
to make me know how much better going
Tight is."
"I always knew you would find it out.
I never stopped hoping and praying for
"That must have been what brought
Mr. Wade hero."
"Oh, I did hate him so, Bill, when I
heard of something that happened be
tween you and him ! I thought him a
brute:and a tyrant. I never could get
over it,-until he told mother that you were
the best mftehinest he ever knew, and
would sometime grow to be a great iuven
tor.',
"I'm, glad you hated . him. I suffared
rattlesnakes and collapsed flues for fear
you'd go and love him."
"Aly affections were engaged," she said
with simple seriousness.
"Oh if I'd only thought so long ago !
How lovely you are !" exclaims Bill, in
testacy. "And bow refined I And how
good! God bless you!"
He made up such a wishful mouth,—so
wishful for one of the pleasurable uties
of mouthes, that Belle blushed, laughed,
and looked down, and as she did so saw
that one of her straps was trailing.
"Please fix_it, Bill," she said, stooping
and kneeling.
Bill also knelt, and his wishful moutß
immediately took its chance.
A manly smack, and a sweet little fem
inine chirp sounded as their lips met. .
"Bohm 1 twanging as gay as the first
tap of a marriage -bell, a loud crack in the
ice rang musically for leagues up and doWn
the river. "Bravo !" it seemed to say.
.."Well done, Bill Tarbox ! Try again"
Which the happy fellow did, and the
h py mai de c. perm i tte.d
"Now," said Bill, ''let us go and hug
Mr. Wade I"
" What ! Both of us ?" Belle protes
ted. 9lr Tarbox, lam ashamed of you!'
CONCLUSION NEYT WEEK.
LODGINGS FOR. BOOTS
A short time ago, one of our citizens
who loves his joke about as well as folks
generally do, had occasion to visit one of
the small towns in the interior of the
State, and knowing he would have consid
erable walking over muddy roads, he took
with him a pair of long India rubber boots.
He arrived at his destination about nine
o'clock in the evening, and upon inquiry
he found that the only tavern in the place
was half a mile from the station. No con
veyance was to be had, and the road was
muddy in the extreme. Congratulating
himself on having his long boots, he set
off and found the mud so deep in some pla
ces his boots were barely long enough.
U reached the hotel at last, looking
ractl , ?fr soiled about the feet. After supper
nquired the charge for lodgings.
"We usually charge," said the landlord,
who also had some fun in his composition,
"twenty-five cents; but if a man goes to
bed with such boots as them on, (pointing
to the customer's feet,) we charge him fif
ty cents."
'A very good idea, I should think," re
' turned the traveler.
After half an hour's conversation, the
landlord showed him to his room, and
they parted for the night, mutually pleas
ed with each other. The next morning
our friend arose late,,,and inquiring for
the landlord, learned that he had gone
from home to attend to some business.—
After breakfast he handed a dollar to the
landlord's wife, saying—
" There
. .
is fifty cents for-my supper and
breakfast, and fifty cents for my lodging."
"Twenty-five cents is all we charge for
lodging," said the landlady.
"Yes," returned the stranger, "Uhder
ordinary circumstances: but in his case
fifty cquts is not too much."
The stranger departed, and the lady
was deep in conjecture as to what could be
the circumstances which required a man
to pay double price for lodging. When
her husband returned—
"Has that man who slept in the front
room come down yet ?" he asked.
"Yes," answered the wife, "and he has
zone away. He paid fifty cents for his
lodging, and said, under the circumstances
it was right."
The landlord rushed up stairs. His wife
followed, to' learn - the — meaning---of.sint_
strange proceedings,Arid found lier hus
band with the bed•clothes turned down,
and her best bed looking more fit to plant
potatoes in than it did for any human be
ing. to sleep is.
" You saw that man when he arrived
here last night?" •
' "Yes."
"You Saw his boots, didn't you?"
%nyes.”
"Well," said the landlord,•"the scamp
slept in 'em.
A few days after, the traveler, on his re
turn home put up at:thelsame tavern.—
Neither himself nor the landlord said any
thing about the boots, which ,were in, the
same condition as on the previous occa
sion ; but the landlady looked daggers at
him, and•eyed his boots with anxiety.—
About_ten .hp would rd
.tire. "And, by the way, landlord,_" said
hp, with a merry twinklingin hii'eye,
""shat do you usually - elm* fordee4legr
"We charge," answered ipif'
with a moal.freplenclous emplasis, "twen
ty-five cents 1"
MR. RUSSELL'S LAST LETTER
The letter of Mr. Russell in the Times
of the 13th is of unusual interest, being
graphic and sketchy, and with but few
prophesies. We make a few extracts :
PROBABILITIES'OF AN ADVANCE
"As the condition of the roads and of
the country in Virginia continues as bad
as ever, it is likely that no movement of
the army of the Potomac will take place
until winter is over, unless the General
is bold enough to trust to a bridge of
frost, which may break when lie is in the
middle of it, and leave him floundering
in a sea of mud. * * * It is possible
that the Military Committee may have
been satisfied by the promise of action to
come, -or it may be that the General does .
really intend to throw the Confederates
off their guard, and make_ kdash at them
one of these fine frost I days. The thing
could be done—just ddne, by moving the
whole force off suddenly, making a forced
march so as to arrive in front of the ene
my's lines by daybreak, and by a con
certed plan, under fire of the numerous
field breaking his line in the
centre or overwhelming it on either flank.
Such marches as that from the camps on
the line from the front of Alexandria
round
,hy : tle Chain Bridge to the posi
tion at Centreville havn often been made,
and have ended in successful battles. To
make such an effort now it would be ne
cessary to have a hard frost and a certain
ty of its duration for a day or tki, and
there should be also some reasonable cer
tainty of success in the attack.
THE POTOMAC AND THE CH INIEA CON-
TRA:,TED
"The ride from Washinolon to Mun
son's Hill has-places which bid fair to
rival that famous dip in the hill on the
Balaklava road between the Col and Kad
ikoi. But how different the scene .be
yond 1 the long line of trenches, the
smoke wreaths of the cannon, the expanse
of tents on the dark plateau, the white
houses of the city, the lines of the fleet
and the symmetrical masses of the guar
dian forts. how great the contrast be
tween that ill fed, army of our
soldiers, meeting death and disease, with
out a murmur •in the face of the enemy,.
and the comforts of these troops who have
not even to light I
COMFORT OF TTIE AMERICAN TROOPS
"The American soldier is lightly
equipped ; his knapsack is by no means
burdensome, he wears no cross belts ;
instead of hide and canvass sandles, he
has well made boot 9 and shoes of leather
When sick he has medicine and medical
attendance, and unless he is at some for
lorn sickly post like that at Beaufort,
where injudicious correspondents have
revealed the existence of great sickness,
and some neglect, and have thereby near
ly subjected themselves to the kindness
of an expulsion by General Sherman, he
is well treated in illness, and has as fair
chances as any invalid in the world for re
covery. In addition to his rations it is
suggested in Congress that he shall have
"crackers, butter, and cheese !" Certainly
it will not be from any want of all care
and comfort that the Northern soldiers
prove unsuccessful. At night enormous
fires blaze in the camps, and the guards
warm themselves by pyramids of blazing
billets enongh for a
. hundred yule fires.
" In the other tents not thus provided the
soldiers have shown ingenuity in making
themselves comfortable. Thus, they con
struct a fire-place by cutting a hole in the
earth inside the tent, and thence pushing
a small covered gallery outside, the dis
tance of two or three yards. The shaft
is then pierced, and a couple empty bar
rels placed one above the other, and coat
ed with clay, establish a draught, and
serve as a chimney for the fire inside the
tent The abundance of wood gives the
soldiers means of flooring the tents, fit
ting them with shelves, making bedsteads
and chairs, and, above all, raising stock
ades round the sides of the tents to keep
out the wind. They are also clever in con
structing stables of the branches of firs,
pines and evergreens, and in making
screens of the same materials round their
camps and , tents, which sometimes affect
artistic forms, and( expand into decora
tions, triumphal afehes, wreaths with in
scriptions offer theentrances to the streets
of the camp, and the like. At Christmas
they were particularly effective and pret
tily arranged: Sutler's carts, very well
got up, with the names of the regiments
to which they belong painted on the pan
els and oilskin covers, are grouped around
the wooden sheds and stores, and vari
ous unrecognized vehicles are loitering in
the vicinity, surrounded by soldiers, who
are intent on struggling with Brobdignag
oysters, purchasing 'guns drops;' or invest
ing in the doubtful solaces afforded by
volumes of 'Common Prayer,"Sacred Po
ems,' and similar tin volumes full of spir :
itual fluids, which quite unfit the recipi
ent for any exercises whatever, and which
are intended to evade the strict watch
which is kept over the sale of intoxicating
_drinks. Yankee ingenuity has been tax
ilifiriffisutleassfiillyi-to-deLeat-the - Pro=
vost Marshal, 'Liniments,"Embrocations,'
'Cough Mixtures,' and patent medicines
of the most stimulating character- crave
been devised for the occasion, and a man
may become .asJhappy as a. king,' and 'as
Sick as a dog,' by taking a couple of bot
tles of 'Prepared Bear's Grease, or 'The
Patriot's Ursine.' Drunkenness is the
great evil of the camps. Venus is not
permitted to follow the, American Mars
into the 'field, and it is rare indeed to see
a woman-in the vicinity.", :
Mr: Russell. eltiophere admits that , : the
battle - of - Milt Spring was a decided sue
case for the Federals,.and thinks an Order
or merit 'ought to, be eatablished for our
soldiers:
A chap who was told that the best Miro
for. palpifatiou; ofithe leark was ("lilt
hugging and kissing the girls, said,
"If that is the only remedy that. Mtn be_
propoSed, I, for ono, say, let'cr palpitates.
1 $1 60 per Minima in adViing
$2 00 if not paid in advance
19' - Cstiren_ ii.xube ranee.•
The -Frankfort- (Icy.)- Commonwealth
of tlio 19th contains the following letter
to the Rebels:
M✓ Dear kebs—l n'ow take my pen'
in hand for the, purpose of holding cow
amnion with you through the silent me
dium of per AA paper. I have just learn
ed that the lines are now open as far as
Fort Donelson, in Tennessee, and I avail
myself with alacrity of the opportunity
now presented of resuming our correspon
dence. Y0u...: many friends in this section
would like tb be informed on various top- .
ics—for instance :
I-Tow are you, anyhow ?
How does " dying in the last ditch• af- -
gree with your general health ?
How is the 'Constitution" down your .
way
Do yeti think there is any Broverm
moot ?
How is "King hotting ?"
Is Yancy well, and able to eat his oats?
When will Buckner take his Christmas'
dinner in Louisville ?
Is Lloyd Tilghman still hanging Union'
men in the First District?
Is Floyd still "rifiz'ny , cannon and oth- -
sr small arms ?
How is Pillow's last " ditch," and when
will he gratify his numerous fri nds by
"dying" in the same '1
How is the "Southern Heart!'
Are you still able to whip five to one ?
What is your opinion of theffutch raoe7
Did the recognition of the S. Confeder
acy by England and Prance benefit you'
much ?
IT'llere is the "Provisional Government'
of Kentucky, and what is it kept in ?
Where is the Louisville-Nashville-Bowl
ing Green-Courier now published ? Say ?
And lastly, what do you think of your
selves, anyhow ?
A prompt answer will relieve many anx
ious hearts.
Yours, in a born,
A LINCOLN MAN'
United States, Feb. 18th 1862.
" RIDIN' ON A, RAILROAD KERR!'-'
A most veracious chronicler relates, in
the following fashion, the experience of
a young lady from the rural districts who
lately visited the city, accompanied by her
peculiar swain, and took an appreciative
view of .the elephant.
Cietting into one of the city cars for a
ride, the maiden took a seat, while the
lover planted himself on the platform.
The graceful vehicle had sped but a
few short blocks, when the benificently
young conductor insinuated himself into
the popular chariot for the purpose of col
lecting the expenses. Approaching tho
rustic maiden, he said affably :
" Your fare miss."
The rosebud allowed a delicate pink to .
manifest itself on her cheeks, and looked
down in soft confusion. The justly pop
ular conductor was rather astonished at
this, and adventured to remark once more:
"Your fare,-miss "
This time the pilik deepened to carna
tion, and the maiden fingered her parasol
with pretty coquettishness. The conductor
' really didn't know what to make of this
sort of thing, and began to look a little fool=
ish; but as a small boy at the other end of
the car began to show signs of a disposi
tion to leave without paying for his ride,
the official managed to say once more:
"Item! miss, your fare."
In a moment those lovely violet dyes
were looking up in his face, through an
aurora of blushes, and the rosy lip exclaim
ed :
"Well. they , do say I'm good looking at,
hum ; but I don't see why you want to say
it out so loud!"
It was not a peal of thunder that shook
the car just then. Oh, no. It was some
thing that commenced in a general titter,
and culminated in such a shattering guf
faw as stentorian lungs alone are capable
of. In the midst of the cachinatory tem
pest, the '.levyer" came to the rescue of
his Doxiana, and, when the "pint of the
hull thing" was explained to him, his
mouth expanded to proportions that might
have made Barnum's hippopotamus die of
jealousy on the spot. Thd pair descended
from the car amid a salvo of mirth, and
when last seen were purchasing artificial
sweetmeats at a candy shop.
THE SEVEN OLD AND THE SEVEN
NEW.—The seven wonders of the world,
were: Ist, the Egyptian pyramids. The
largest of these is 604 feet square and
469 feet high, and its base covers
acres of ground. 2, the Mausoleum, erec
ted to Mausolus, king, of Carla, by his
widow, Artemisia. It was 73 feet long
and 35 high. 3d. the Temple of Diana,
at Ephesus. This was 425 feet in length
and 220 feet in breadth. 4th, the-Walls,
and Hanging Gardens of Babylon. These
walls are stated, by Herodo.tus, to have
been 87 feet thick, 250 feet high and GO
miles in length ; and the statement is
deemed credible by modern antiquarians.
sth, the Colossus of Rhodes. This was a
brazen statue of Apollo, 105 feet in heigh t
standing at the mouth of the harbor of
Rhodes. 6th. the statue of Jupitei Olym
pus, at Athens, which was made of ivory
and gold, and..WaS wonderful - for - its betta
ty-ratre-r than for its size: 7th, Pharos
at Alexandria, in Egypt. A fire of wood
was kept burning on its summit during
the night, to guide ships to the harbor.
Tho seven wonders of the world are: •
The art of printing • Opiticai Instru
ments; such as the Telescope and 'the
Microscope ; Gunpowder; the steam En
gine; Labor saving Machinery; the
Electric Telegraph, and Photography.
The ladies of Boston having' made some
shirts for the soldiers . , from `four rto six in
.
ehes too short, soma wag perpetrated the
following
Like a man without a wife,
Like a ship without a'sail,
The most useless. thing in life,
Is a shirt without—proper 4ngth..
Ile who•pats aside his religion
,becauflo
ho,isgoing into soSiety is like one,t,Oting
i
.off' hs shoes becausa he is,about tO walk
On' thorns. •
NCI 11,