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0
r tlie Proprietor,
ItritivPORVEIL,
I
lyre(ly
voL. - LX.
TERMS. OF PUBLICATION.
• -
The ARLISLE Ittrwttn.is published 'wookly on atarge
sheet containing twentyd
eight columns, and.furnishe
to subscribers nt $1.50- 1 ;pall strictly in advance
$1.76 If paid within the yart or $2 in all eases when
payment is delayed untiraftor the espiratio t of the
year. 'No subscriptions received for a less period than
81 X months, and none discontinued until all arrearages
are paid, unless at the option of the publisher. rapers
sent to subscribers living out• of Cuniberlat • • • t '
must be paid for In - advance, or the payment assume
• by some responsible person living in Cumberland coun
ty. Those terms will be rigidly adhered to to all
"Med.
•
AIiVERTISHaIfpNTS,
Advertisements will Le charged:2l.oo per Nunn) ot
twelve linen fitr three Insertions, and 25 rents. for eneh
suihneyttent Insertion. All ndvertiventents \ .ef loon than
twelve linen ennsldereitas a Munro.
Ad vertlnesnentn inserted before Merrlngen and dentin,
. . . , . .. .
F rents per line for first insertion,'"nfid 4 rents per line
for subsequent Insertions. Communications on sub•
' jecte of limited or individual !Matd will be charged
6 cents per line. The Proprietor will not ho responst,4
We In damages for errors In advertisements, Obitunry
. •
notices or Marriages not exceeding five dines, will be
inserted without charge. . .
. • I
JOB PRINTING
The Carlisle Herald .70li PRINTING OFFICE
largest add moot completwestobllshment in the rnuntY.
Three good Pressen. and a general variety of material
suited for plain and Pain"' work of every kind. onablen
an to do Jot, printing at the shortest not lee nod on the
most reaniMatile terms. Persona In. want of Bilk,
lilanka or anything In the Jobbing lint, will find it to
rune interest to give us a rail.
neural, anti Coca - 3nformation
•
U. S. GOVERNAIENT.
itucntNAN.
Vico Pre4lllPM—form o.llnrcitEsitlrias t :
Socretary of St. te—P/4R. TAMS CANS.•
Secretary of Intertor—JAcon Thogroo . s. -
Socretary of Treomory—Morr.r.t. Coon.
Secretary of War--.Jogix il. FLOOD.
Secretary of Nory..—loaao TOUCRT. •
Pont MAN44X•fioneral- , Joacro
Atborcooy t/enomi—.lsor.xiAn S. BLACK.
Chlef3llloCo °Utile United States—S. it. Tarn
STATE GOVERNMENT
Qevernor=R'u.z.o 51 F. 1 4 sosin.
Secrotsry of Ststo,.-iWittistt 51. HILTUTIII
Surveyor General—Jour( Rows.
Auditor tionoral.—J"ncoa Far, JR. '
.Treasurer—if [Nov S. 51001111 V.
• • • • •
Judgns of the Supremo Court—C. 1.6817. 3. M. ARM
lITUOAU. M r . D. LOWRII u. IV. WIVOIYARD. JOHN M: Bleu
COUNTY- OFFICERS
. .
PmWent Judge—lion..lnmes 11. tirrthnul•
AII3oCIMO Judges_—lion. Mielutel •rocklin, Samuel
liondburn.
—l.l.ledrlct Attorney—J. W. D. 01Helen.
..
PrethonulAry—Plillip Quigley.
Recorder Ae.--baniel 8. Croft.
Key:lnter—S. N. Kumlnger. •
High SherllT—ltobt. MoCertney, frDeputy, Kfinperli.
Treasninr— , "town Bricker, .
Coroner—David Smith,
County Cotondatloners—An Ire Kerr, Rh murl Me
gee, Nathaniel 11. Eekein. Clerk to Commissioners,
James-Armstrong.
Directbile of the Poor—Win. flreeny, Jnn. Trimble,
Abraham Rosier. Superintendent .of Poor nous
Henry., Snyder.
•
BORCIIIG II OFFICERS
Chief Burioss—John Noble.
Assistant IturgessAdnin Bonsoman•
Town Council—A: B. chary, John 0 utshall, William
Bents, F. liartlner,.l'. B• !Thompson, J. 'Worthington,
A.W. Bentz, A. ninennilth, Wm. Leeds
Clerk to Council.—Thos. D. Mahon. ,
Conntable—John Spahr, • Ward Constahles.—
Jacob Deets, Andrew Nlarthi,
Justices of the Pence—A. L.,Sporoder, David Smith,
Ml,Lusel liolcomb, Stephen Keepers.
CHURCHES.
First Presbyterian Chur , h, Northwest angle of Cen
tre Squire. Ton. Conway P. Wing Pastor.—, Services
every Sundry Morning aillo'clock, A. M., and I o'clock'
P. M.
Second Presbyterian Church, corner of Booth I. snorer
and Pomfret streets. Rev. Mr Emile, l'astor. . Services
commence at II o'clock; A.. 31. and 7 o'clock P.M.
St. John's Church, (Prot. Eplhcopal) northeast angle of
Centro Square. Rey. Jacob B. Moms,
Unto, Services
,at 11 o'clock A. M., and 3 o'clock, P.M.M •
English Lutheran Church, Bedford between Main
Loonier streets. Iter..lacob Fry, Pastor. Services
oh II o'clock A. M., an/16S o'clock P. M. ' •
' German Reformed Church, Louther, between Han
over and Pitt streets. iter. A. H. Kremer, Pastor.—
Suck. at 1.1 o'clock A. M, and Ili o'clock P. M.,
Methodist E. Church, Hirst charge) corner of Main and
Pitt Streets, Rev. Cleo. 1). Chenovrith, Pastor. Sur 'ices at
11 o'clock A. M. and 7 o'clock P. M
. . . .
— Slethodlnt E. Church (Fecund chnrge.) Ilex. Alex. D.
011.14f1u Parthr.' Service,. 111 Emory M. E. Church nt 11
o'clt!ch. A. M. and T P M.. .
Patrick'. Catholic, Church, Pop:ifs:4 near East et.
Mei. Janie. Kelley, Pastor. Services every , tother
Sabbath at 10 o'gjock, Vesper at 3.
German Luthorau Church corulr of Pomfret and
Medford street.. ite•. C. fame, Pastor: Services at
1 !Veloric, A. 11., and t 1.14 o'clock, P. 31.
.IftrWhou chaugoejn the above are necoscary the
proper pions are requested to notify ns.
•
DICKINSON COLLEGE
Rev. Cherles Collins, D. D., Presidont and Professor of
Moral tielenia.
Fee. Unman M. Johnson, D. D., Professor of Philos*.
shy and English Llternturo.
James W, Marshall, A. MI, Professor of Ancient Las ,
!page& •
Mee. Wm. L. Boswell, A. M., Professor of 11.1Mhebuit
William C. Wilson, A.. 31., Professor of Natural &Imre
and Curator of the Museum. •
Alexander Schein, A. N., Professor of Hebrew and
"'Modern Languages.
...
Samuel 1). 1111linan, A. BY., panelpsl of the Grammer
6 e hool. ' ... ~ •
David C. John, Assistant In the Grammar School
BOARD OF SCHOOL DIRECTORS_
Andrew Blair, President, II: Sexton, P. Quigley, E.
Corm:nee. 0. P. Ilutnerleli.,J. Hamilton, Secretery,Jesou
W. Eby, Treasurer, John Slw, Messenger. Meet qu
the let Monday ofeach Month dt 8 o'clock A,M. at Ed
ucation Hall.
CORpORATIONO
..C.sausta.Dzsests Max.—President, R.Sl.llendereon
Cashier. W. 31, Beetem ; Asst. Cashier, J. X.- Hasler
Teller, Jae. honey,; Directors, Mallard Parker. Thomas,
Parton, Moses [tricker, Alwalutm Itosier, Jacob Why,
It. C. Woodward, Wid. B. tullin, Samuel Wherry and
John Zug. . • . •
• CUMBERLAND VALLEE RAIL ROAD COMPANY.—Provident,
Frederick Watts; Secretary and Treasurer, Edward 31.
Biddle; Superintendent, O. N. Lull. Passenger trains
twice a day. Eastward leaving Carlisle at 10.15 o'clock
A. 31. and 4.25 o'clock P. B. Two trains every. day
Westward, leaving Carlisle at 1.1.37 o'clock A, 31., and
8.16 P. 51. .
CARLISLE OAR AND ItATEEComr.LEE.—PresIdsnE, Fred
'rick Mate; Secretary, Lemuel,Todd; Treasurer ' Wm
H. Beetem; Directors, F. Watta, Richard Parker, Lenin
el Todd, Win. Id. 11,Intent, henry Saxton, J. W. Eby
John D. Porgas, It: C. Woodward, and E. 11. Diddle • '
Cumnentastu VALLEY ILVie—PrSidOEL, John 8. Ster
rett ; Cashier, 11. A. Sturgeon; Teller, Joe. C. Hoffer.
Directors, John S. Sterrett, Win. Her, blelchoir Mena
man, Richard Woods, John C. Dunlap, llobt. C. Sterrett,
U. A. Sturgeon, and Captain John.llunlap.
SOCIETIES
Cumberlar-f. Star Lodge No. 107, A. Y. M. mtpia at
Marlon Mall on the 2nd and 4th Tuesdays oreiery
Month.
St. Johns Lodge No 240 A. Y. M. Meets Id Thuro.
day Of each , roonlb, at Marion Hail.
Carlisle Lodge No 91 A, 0. of 0. F. .Meets Monday
eseuing,. Trout. building.
•
BEI
PIES COMPANIES
.
Tbe Itnlon Firo'Company. eran organized in 118 D.
prOAlafUt, K. Comment Flee President. NVlllinin M.
Porter; Secretary, Thuo. Caveman; Treasurer, P. AM
yer. Company meets the Oral Saturday liabiarch, June
September, and Debember.
The Cumberland Flee CompF:ny was Institutad Febru
ary 18, 1809. President, ltobert McCartney; Secretary,
Philip Quigloz; Treasurer, 11. S. 'Ritter. The company
meets on the third Saturday of Je .. 2t ,... 1Anr.k, July,
Ind October.
The 11 ood Will Hose Oompanfwas Instituted In latch,
.855. Prosidenti 11. A. Sturgeon; Vice Proldent,Geo?ge
Weise, Jr..; Secretary,'Willis tA. halbert; Treasurer:
foseph W. Ogilby. The company meats the second
ilhuraday of Jeintutry, April, July, and October.
The Empire'llook end Ladder Company was Inatltut
.d in 1889. President, We,, 51. Porter; Nice Precident i
'lenry [tinkle; Treasurer, John 0 ompbell ; Secretary,
A. Blair. ' company meets on the Stet Salur.
-Say in January,,April, July and 'October: - ,
RATES OF. POSTAGE
Pontinin on all lettowsof one•helf ounce weight onun
ir, canto pr. paid, except. to Colin:mule or Oregon
bleb in - 10 prepehl." " • •
•
restage en the - Herald "—within the County, free.
'ltitinihetitste 18 cents per year. Toney part of the
nitettntstes Ya cent.,.-rootage op all trartelent-papbra.
,der,3 ouncee.in weight, 1 cent prwpaid or Orb contt
,paid. • Advertised lettsra,loheritarged with the cost
advertising.. • •, - ,
HERALD JOH & BOOK ,
~PRINTING 9FFICE, •
eir. of the S,quare;
rtirat.
IFor.tho 14eALD.]
IS IT A SIN P.
=2
Is It n sin that I Mill think of thee?
•
lidfles not cast a shadow o'er my,heart •
For friondship'n rays like nunhaiims o'er the sea,
Can force each gloomy, threw ring cloud apart
In its sin to dream of words so soft ondlow, '
Which, mushollke, enchain my listening ens?
Tha notes of kindnesi, known to those who know
Tho eorlo sung In the P . 48 1. I now in dreaming heir
Is thyrh n sin In thinking of thee, when alone;
Though 'round me Mande, n crowd I cannot greet
Is it a sib where spirits sadly moan;
For sympathy'rfor kindreXsouls, for cenversa sweet!
In - sisterllke dovotedners, that angeln, rioter ktio,
In thinking of Mill dreaming o'er the bourn de
lighted In,
In hallowing thoughts—not HAMM/ save to TWO;
I TEEL, I KNOW, AO CURE thorn Is NO •
And now, and ever, In the days to come, 7 . '
,Wh .re - o - Fr am, whato'er my lot niny be;
Tho gli'doomed o'er earth a wanderer to roam, ..
"
Co NJ ' 111:17-1: atill will think of thee I
[Selected to the IIenALD.J
A HYMN.
I=
JE.74lis! tfii, ladder of my faith
Rests on the jasper walls of Heaven;
And through the velliog clouds f entail
Faint visions of the mystic klovou I
The glory of the rah - awned Throne
'Humes thagirleloude like lambent flame;
As oneg, ou'Earth, ThY love di iuo
Burned th rO , llle robes of human shame.
Thnu art the same, 0 gracious Lord I
The same dear Christ that Thou tro4 then;
And all the praises angels sing
Delight Thee len than prayers of men I
Ka have no team thou tvllt not dry; .
W. haiM no.uounds thou wilt not heal;
Nd sorrowa our human h cart.
.• That Thou, dear.Bavloort ;lost not . fool. •
Thy yity, Itka,tho dew, aiFt.o l :
And Thy compassion, lik'o.the
. Our pyory_tnoroing °reline, • .
_And crow tin with stare 'our miry night
Let not . theworld's rude conflict drown
TherepFmod music of tby Toter.:
'hot calls ell Trfary ones Au 7st,
And bids mourning souls rejoice!
MRS. mr.Lizij,i.iaik nousynrat Torty'G.
' What a pity it is that 'people are obliged 'to
eat and drink. this hot weather,'nnd 'that 'the
abominable practice entalls.upen Sataeilloft
the AeCeseity- of cooking I. • this•standing over
a hoi.stove in theimiddlei ;301y; vvitlr the
thertnometer..at 95,.degree6 in-thei shade; is
ruinous. to while dressee aqd
. •
ringlets! .
• •I'l9W,:'• klYa in a , Mould:be quite a
rertsonable,,iliroLifit watirlt. for the,cookiug ;
Wiiii tbe'existing state of circurtistrinces,
it is perfectly absurd totalk' of I That is, if
anybody has.a 'spark.of.-rornance-iiii-lits com
position ! Young people, who talk so Peauti
fully and sentimentally about living on smiles
and kisses, wadd be glad,before the close of
a week's subsistence on such fare, tirset: eyes
(ami teeth,, too;) ou a beefsteak' and acconi
panimeuta • ~
We know we shallba rated vulgar to men
tion such a possibility, but so long as it is the
truth, what care vies? 'Just' nothing—so set
Us down as low, common mediocre,. or whateier
Pleasesyculiliest, We givel,o'n•cerfe,b/anche.
Our fr iend; nMnrilia Melyille, commenced
housekeeping with the rosiest of tilt rosy im
aginations. .1f vie Were writing as she exists
now, we would have written her name Nattle,
but, .as, we, arc speaking of her half a dozen
years ago, we milk present her to our readers'
acquaintance as plain:Martha, hoping she'll'
excuse us for 'so.cloing ; Martha married (it's
the trin• _conviction,) for pure lovenothing
more, nothing less. . • .
George Melville was a young lawyer in the
little village'nf Thirlow, and his clients. with
their - fees, being among the things which were
yet' to come, lie-was obliged to' eminence
business. On• a somewhat limited scale. • Like
an honest lawyer, however, as ho was„(?) he
explained the matter to _Martha beforehand,
and she, With 'all - the ardent'-devotion of a
young Indy of segenteen, expressed her wil
lingness to follow hint into the lowest jungle
in4),.frica; or to the summit. of thniUllest ice
berg Upon Which the eye of the, late lamented
Kane ever rested! But as George required no
such sacrifice, she was obliged•to satisfy her'
longings for matrimony by retiring, on her
marriage, to a little five roomed cottage, -half
hidden from thn4ublic road by two large ,
chestnut trees. Roses—those necessary auxi
liaries to love in a cottage—there were ncne,
but Murtha . . cherished. the idea- of.planting
soMe at no very dist/tilt day.
/they kept. no, servants--firstly, because
said it would Uo so delightful•to work
for iGeorge - and there would Jae no prying,
unsinipathizing eyes to witansa their 'tender
little tete a Wee. Secondly ; because,Ocorgo•
could not afford the Openseof a "help" •
Well, on Monday morning, about a week
after their removal to their new house, Mar
tha found her larder (which bad be'en amply
supplied with. cooked edibles,-through her
fond mother's care,) nearly empty: George
wonted his` breakfast iu a hurry, op there.was
a prospect of a lawsuit between ,John Smith
and his nenrea neighbor, John Brown, and
George's chance of becoming Mr. Brown's
counsel was promising, if the thing could be.
made to go on.
There was bread to bake, coffee to concoct,
table to set, floor Co sweep, and her toilet to
make, for Martha could not think of appear
ing at 'the breakfast table withotiC her muslin
peignior and tulle head-dress. After she was
duly attired in tliene — becoming habiliments,
affe - couwienced preparations. The first dash
at the stove, left airierblack as idk upon ber
dilly hrm, find smeared the spotless sleeve of
her elaborate morning dress. When the mis
chieklind been as nearly remedied as possible,
Martha turned her attention to bread-making.
Mike bread I that was easy •Oeugif; , eertainly,
she said to herself; but how wan it donel,--
"The Family Housewife" was hunted up, and.;
George deputed to read yr prescription...J. •
" Oue pound of flour, sweet' milk enough •to
knead, •twotiibM spoonsful.of cream of tartar
and o,little salt."
Very good that was but little to do, so
'Martha forthwith !Axed the' required ingre
'clients, with the exception of.the salt!
George, my love, how much is.a little
“Vell,-Lbardly know; my dear; a gill or,
eo, I should think, would be enflioient.'
A gill, or po, was adtle'd by the obedient
Blurt ha, , and the bread committed to the oven.
°Forgo, won't: you just put in 'a Maio
wood? The lire is getting low,"—nnd Martha
,peered :suspiciously. at .the black smoking
grate andjhe 'dueling teakettle.
Nov for • the coffee t Lerertieo, GeoigO
yeiti-likelt-strong; . 'don't you ?"
" Yes, 19ye," • .." ,
Welt, the. receipt says—a. common sited
noffeeleup full far two perpons; but this is an
economioalplik book, you know;' It ion qiike
ly that's 'enough to be gool• 4(166 the
quantity to make two." .
The little urn received 'a pint, of fragrant
Java, nod, after adding the water,. Martha laid
• K) • .
-
• the table, 'and called he'r husband-to • beeak- '
fast.. An inspection of' the ',bread,. proved it I
'flat—if not stale deriThr*able, as was owl-'.
deuced by,Ginirgi'S wry face\ s.
"Goodness, Martha! did you mean ft:intake 1 ,
pickles of us ?":, ejaculated, the diseomlitted
man, dropping-a 1110r,3111 of ." the staff of lifb - ":
froth his half open mouth upon the,plate.
7 Saltier than Lot's Wife." • .
"My dear, you told me how much 'to put
in; I onlfused what you said—agill or so."
" Weil:. well ; . never mind;. dearest I You
will do better next time, Ldaro say. How
about the coffee'!" ,' , -
Ger'rge's hopeful.. smile vanished, nail his
brow 'darkened with ilie first sip---,(No man's
love ever withstood bad coffee.)
!'Stronger than ilyest tffll My de,ar Martha,
Why did you make lt. so strong ?" "
"You said you loved it So, - dear George ?+'
Martha's fortitude was beginning to give way
in turn.. .
"There, love, don't cry! ICE do very. we 11,.,
I dare say with plenty of crenni!" and George'
tnatle..a desperate effort. to swollen' a mouth
ful, which loud the of of bringing the water
in copious oustoities to 111,1 eyes and nose. ,
" The- deuce!"' lie muttered, Under his
breath, as in trying to get luh. pocket }moti
f
kerchief:lie Upset his' coffee-0 fp;_satwer and
all, into. hi; lap; and the sea ding fluid trick
ling leisurely on the flotr, ti ust have, proved
anything but a pleasant sens tine. - _
' "Mercy; George ! - You' ave spilt yourself
and burnt the coffatet. oh. dear!' , oh, dear I"
cried Martha, too touch frightened to be par
ticular-about talking 81 reight.: George grew
a little red in the face. and Martha took to
the sofa And her wlthe' cambric handkerchief
—while her husband, without bestowing upon
her 1113 customary parting kiss, seized his hat
and iled from the house. -
Martha groaned for an liottror two on the
heartlessness of the world—the men in par
ticular, end George over and above all the'
1110111 •,Poor child! ,what a sad 'thing for -ro:
Mance ; that black bread amid blacker toffee
had drawn away the rosy curtain of imagined
bliss from_ before the stern and sober realities
of life; AM( she• had seen the spectre in - all
its hideousness ! .
Mit iC'Alariliti Melville didn't know how-!.o
make coffee, she was of tolerable pet ception ;
and after n'time spent . in reflection, she start
ed up and commenced witehing the dishes
Hurried and flustered—a •dirt spot here, a
grease mark nitro—dimuint'g the splendor of
her morning robe, and putting its fair propor
tions in' eclipse—there came a-Sound . like a
'knelt to the miiCer Aliirtha • The oloor bell
rang! Oh. horrors! what if if should be' the
lashidnable Misses Farnitowns? or, the rich
Mrs. Do Clark ? ,
Martha thought of Melting the kitchen door
end hiding in the china closet, Mit she remota.'
bored that the visitors 'must have heard the
clatter of dishes as they stood at the door, for
the kitchen was all one side el the
.wiedew so
that wouldn't dti I)that if she shoujd plead
indisposition and betake herself to the - sofa?,
Finally - shevottelutled to put the best face
on the matter, and admit the visitor: It prow.:
mile be Mrs. Ilighllyer, the store keeper's
wife—who, after entertainingi)cor Martha for
an hour with the trials she hati with her ser
vants, took her leave; hoping Mrs., Melville
would ball soot—she.enjoyed her conversation
so much!
Half-past cloten struck, as Altittlitizeturded
to the kitchen, and dinner was not even 'laid
out.' She racked her brain for n • favorable
suggestion. 'flte,said organ seemed' to be
unusually refractory, for not an idea regard
ing steak or potatoes would 'come, so Martha
resolved on a very plain diuntirprrsoips.
The market man had left them that morn
ing, and George had expressed himself ex•
treacly fond of them. Well, how were they
to be tooled 2 The ' Housewife' was silent
upon the subject, add Martha decided upon a
thoroughly original otethod—jerping them in
taped butter: She knew that they. were but
tered, and that must be The way. Tea and
toast would lie the accompauimente. Ono o'-
clock-=-Mr. Melville's step was heard in the
entry, and dinner smoked oil the table.
George's ill huntorsitall vanished, and the kiss
he gave his flushed little wife smacked of hear
ty affection.
" Well, chicken, what's for dinner? A cap
ital little housewife you are gtiing to mitten:le,
ain't you? Punctual to a mittute.—Parsnips,
by Jove! Who showed you how to cook 'eni?'
and George ladled out a liberal allowance—
)o scanty breakfast had made an appetite fur
hint. .
"Elt—ahi rather 1040, arn't they? It is
strange Williams should-tan, palmed off old
parsnips for fresli - Mnes. - Tough as a shark
skin! Are you sure you boiled them enough,
Martha ?" J.
•"1 - fficin't 'boil than; I - fried them. .That's
the right way, isn't it ?" Martha's face was
getting troubled.
"Well, no; I believe boiling is the proper,
method. It is impossible to eat them as they
are.., Pass the sweet-cake; I shall be obliged
to make it homoeopathic dinner to day, my
love." -
The lawsuit betyveen Brown and Smit was
progressing finely, and consequently C orge's
mercurial ,1 elopement, of good may: had ma
terially risen. Not withstautling,,itwas a cheer.
less - dinner4:Martha was Mortified and George
dilmatitifted. ,
Days pushed ou lunch the sturta-Ahilures,
accidents and blunders inuumettble ocoured
each day. Blisters, burns.seratehes and bumps
disfigured the fair surface of her hands and
arms, and itt,the close of the lust moutla r s ex- .
perience, Martha Was ready, to-renounce eve
rything for six weeks repose and quiet, un
haunted by visions of dirty dishes mid clot
tered--roonts. George tried all lie could to,
help her, but notwithstanding the purity of
his intentions, 1113 Was a "blind leader of the
blind," and oho wits rather glad when the out
er door closed upon him. Sympathizing
neighbors would have lent their aid,. had she
not been too proud to permit them; and so
she groped on in ignorance.—tier' greatest
fear was company. '
The warm weather had now arrivpd, and
likely enough one of her dear city friends
would conic out to see hoW she liked the ex
periment of love in a cottage With no Biddy to
do the work. She actually shuddered at the
thought! Every time the Lmin come in; nod
thedittle cab passed on its journey. from the
:depot, she held her breath with terror, lest it
should pause before the'do'or.
One day in June, •dist. -and burning, while
poor Martha was, trying' her, best l 4o 'make
George's shirt bosom look passable, Who heard
the rattle 111 . a 11 : ightful vehicle as it iireW up
to the gate. She dropped the snioothing irOn
and peered through the blind. A • nieuntlin
lady of the Middle age, descended followed by
an armament of -bandboxes , mid umbrellas!
Martha turned faint whir Itorroi•I -... '
"I'll wager linything it's Georgsli aunt
Margaret! 'She t,hat I have hoard so ratich.n
bent? Oh, dear,-clearf. avhat it itAduld
Atilit Margaret Ives the prattle of the Mel
ville .fittnily.' ' • ' • . , • '
The' lady's clear, emphatic ring forbade all
indulgence of emotion, and Murtha hurried -to
7 .
open the door. , . ,- • •
"Does my nepheW; George Melville 'Hie
hero ?"'inquired it pleasant, cheerful voice.'
Ile doeti. Are you aunt:- Margaret. Dil•
with'?"
Yes dear; if, you are.,Ocorge'e ;wlfo, 1 am
your aunt. . But. bless, - like- 1 .ffidn't' knew
.luargo 4 e iviler - Was , such-a young' girl. Why
lay
. and tired —dO., nit.
doVin'; I can tako off my 'thitiga and,thorn
aviity; tnyeclf," ,
• And Anut,hlargire(epeedili.,tlltsotod her . -
sOlf of her ii&tt travelling ca,p,•and'grity tiolA.
apt: 1' • '1
•
As it:•wae, near dinnor-ciao , Martha, Atte':
little olicerful tionvoreatiau with her, gueet,
CARLISLE, PA., - Wl*.gSpAY, I)C,EMBEI s t 14, 1859.
' proceeded 'to the proliatinaries for their meal,
I while annt'Margaret,ittnitheklierself with her
, knitting. work. . ; "
~ ''
i'" That ilMner was 'a frying ordeal for the
young housekeeper.
.The polatott were half
boiled, the steak burnt fo:m crisp, the breed ,
.was•beavy and, dingy ;,liiertlin. in tears, left
he Valli°, Geotie's.fatie hurried with shame:
and aunt Margatmt; , seetwthe predicament
of things,•ate inMilende. --: ' , .. •
The meal dimr;.and Gorge gone to his bu
sinms, auntlllargarekilt w fromm, the afflicted
Martha, the whole story f: her troubles, and
sa kind sympathizer/ho ttorn aunt proved.
"Well, child, you are 'eng and can learn ;
I will teach you if,yett II only let roe.—my
dear girl, every one mustplave their learning.
pko w don't crymbent ii,".,
"But deny aunt; Ileolikei don't like me no
he used to!" sobbed - the I'oung wife, with her
face hidden oat aunt Margaret's shoulder.
Nonsense, Martha! -Your husband is a
. . .
mau,_and-then-love-gocl.coOking - -=and know
big this, it's natural ;boy should love the
cook, too. GeOrge is only a little mortified,
and, perliaps:a littlb hungry, also. -
•• Oh, but It cannot boar to think that
George—my George. who Ithoughtsoperfect,
shOhld allow his appetite ,to influence his af
fections • Oh, dear, there is nothing but de
ceit in this uortill" and poor Martha sobbed
the louder. Aunt•Margaretnmiled. -. •
A little Sentimental-h little too senti
mental, Martha. :This world- is 'a matter of
fact world,. where folks, eat; sleep and. grow
fat. No woman Tan render her husband com
pletely lin)* ,unless 'she thbroughly under
stands housekeeping. • You' may think this a
sweeping assertion, but: I, can Assure you it is
a true one. Its correctness. is realized daily
by thousands who like yourself, have entered
the married state without a' knowledge of this
neglected art. It is no degradation for the
noblest lady in the land to understand per
fectly. the science of ministering to 'the wants
which God has. made, a necessity to our being
happiness." .) •
. -.Aunt Margaret talked long while, and_
Martins Maimed and-took comfort.
Under the instructionsorthis excellent WO
man, Martha became, in time, a famouspouse
trite ; nod 'now while she has half a. dozen
servants at her own bidding. she is quopfted
to keep the reins of domestic government in
her omit hands.
. •
• It was surprising to see how George's lose
A . lreetion ORME bark with thb,,tdeam of deli
Mons puddings and savory ragouts, and Mar
tha wan glad - when company mime, that she
might show them what a,.treasuro of a wife
George Melville had won. •
Every night George said to himself"" God
bless.nunt Margaret." .
In conclusion we will briefly eny that in
the case of Smith rem., Brown—Mr. Brown,
through tletl,.elhquence of his attorney. Esquire
Melville, won the suit, and -in consequence;
Esq. M 's reputations rose as the mercury in
dog days,
A traveler, who has mado i a recent visit
through Ireland, furnishes th following con
cerning RlOrney Castle," oe of the most
(Iforjughly - talleed-of places in the "Eaek'ald
lele4"
We were soon roaming throsglithe Spacious
ruin!! ,of •131arnoreastle, %tills' Wilt in'
the year 1449, by Cormac.Mccarty, Earl of
Clanearty, who was first summoned to ParHe
ine:ll, as Boron of ]Barney in the year 1458.
The castle was held for James II , and stood
out a severe siege ag"ainst the forces of the
Prince of Orange A battery - was finally pines
•cd on an . clevafed position, which compelled
them to surrender the castle. The main tut:.
ret and tower is one hundred and twenty- feet,
and the stone circular stairway to its extreme
height is still in an excellent state of preset: ,
vathm. Its walls are overrun to their extreme
I height witli.woodbine and, ivy, adding interest
and beauty lo I lie ruins ' Near. the top of the
wall of this castle is - the famous " blarney
stone." A curious tradition attributes to it
the power of endowing whoever kisses it, with
the sweet., persuasive, wheedling eloquence so
perceptible in the language of the people of
Cork, and which is generally termed "blar
ney"—which has beau described brsome ill
natured person as 4% faculty of deiating from
veracity • with nu unblushing countenance
wheneVer it may be convenient." • The stone
generally pointed out us the "real stone," is
situated on the top orate buildiugoind beside it
a sculptured trefoil bearing the date of 1703.
Crocker's favorite song of the "GroveS of
Blarney". made this stone famous, and it is
annually visi ted by thousands of tourists—for,,
us the song says : • •
" There is a stone there, •
That whoever kisses, _
• Oh !he never missei 4 l l ,„ \
To grow eloquent.
Don't hope to hinder him,
Or to bewilder , him, ~
Sure he's a pilgrim
• .Prom the Blartiily stone."
The grounds around tho'castle aro still very
beautiful' and romantic, but the beauty has
boon gradually diminishing. and its walks aro
choked up with rubbish. Close at hand, how ,
ever; arc th - o . fatnatte l7roces of Blarney."
44 'Tis tliere's the daisy,
And the sweet carnation;
The bloomiKpink,
And the ro fair;
The daffy do hdilly,
Likewise Lion filly, • -
All flowers don't scout
The evening air."
Theoe are kept in good condition, and pre
sent n wild mid pleasing' scene, with the
Druid's "Coyern, in which tradithin says that
dacriticial offerings were made by the last of
these ancient people.
ITUBIIANDS.—Aspist your ivivev in making
owe happy--preherve the heart you have
When you return home from your _daily
I °cations, do you: trod your habitations - el
luring? Do not sit down in a corner silent
and - sullen, with' clouded brow and visage re
puisive.• Meet your beloved with- a Smile of
joy and satisfaction—take her by the baud.
Never indnlge in coarse. harsh or profane
words. These. to o.womon of refinement, of
delicate and tender sensibility, are exceeding.,
ly disgusting, nod tend to grieve liar spirit.—
Let the law or kindness dwell upon your lips;
write it upon the table of your heart. .Modesty.
and virtue are gems of priceless value ; keep
them polished like burnialled,gold.
, llnsbniids be exceedingly cautions never to
any..or do any thing. that will tend to mortify
the feelings of your wives ln'company. Here,'
if possible, slow them more marked attention.
Ilan 'when alone. ,
.
Give yourwives tohinderstand that. you 'es
teem them above all others ; make them'your
confidante; confide in theta, and they will
'confidelirt youVconfidenco begehsconfidence,
love •begots love; and madness begets sweet.
Hess
Above AIL Etyropilthize .with' the wives of
your -botiont in the 'houi;of affliction.' Itejoice
with,chum when Psy:rejoice. and weep - with
them vrlien%they•weep; .not a bosom
confpattioni 'wipe' from the elieeklhe fal
ling tear of.soirow'r • ' •
nro , 'you like an'annaal,°,my
,
darling ?" enid 'a envoy lover, binding hie arm
around Hu rrietta,ivaist. oan:t. say. Why?"
'"l3eoauatryou are liaingsoinely'httuht."
deod! -Why s ., then ' , tun -I , like aldretniok'?''.
Really, - ;l•con't , tend" Bocausel ain:bbund
g o " Coma koro, , itister. TotolnY•.dn'You
know your A 13'C's?" sur, 1 know a
bee sees,"
" DU A RN EI(.1!
lIYOZENIC HINTS.
hall's jourrytt of health says that a person
born Scrofulous, or' becoming so after birth,
need not remain so to any specially hurtful
extent. If "white swellings" or "runnings"
do not relieve the systems of ill humors, the
disease May bo worked out of thesystem by a
change in the habits of life:— spelt a change as
involves large out-door activities for the great•
er part of everyday. The same thing may
be accomplisheci,to a great extent, in-doors,.
as where sedentary life Is 'follotved •by
spending a large portion of each day in active
employment on' foot.. More decided results
will follow if the aid is given, meanwhile, of
Judicious personal habits, as scrupulous clean
liness of body and clothing, of regular, full,
and sutficietiLnleep; plain, simple, and nu
tritious food, mitten at regular intervals of five
or six hours, and nothing between,
with that
daily regularity wide!' is essential to health
tinder all circumstances. A scrofulous person
should, eat fresh meats largely, and bread,
fr , uits and berries of every description, using
vegetables sparingly. In- •short, whatever
promotes higlt bodily health pi:motes the
eradication of scrofulous taint. In regard to .
internal remedies, one of these things-is the
uniform result. ;First, the medicine gradually
loses iOs power 4 second, the system is beim-,
fitted only is taken; or; third, the
remedy gradually poisons the system, or
im
pairs the tone - of the stomach. and hastenS a
fatal • result. Nu medicine over eradicated
Scrofula, or kept it under any longer than
while it was taken under certain conditions;
a scrofulous person has a greater chance Of
long life than one who is entirely free from it,
because being conscious of a slenderness, of
constitution, greater care is taken to avoid
causes of sickness.
INDIA RUDDER OVRR-8710E0
The tendency of India-rubber shoes is to
make the feet . cold, tints endangering the
health; henee'they are useful only in walking
whdn the ground is. muddy .or slushy with
, Itt-ti
inviting snow. iette cases they are - 1nva1.c. ,, ,
uable. Wile r ubbers are on the feet, per
sons should keep moving and remove them ott
entering: tit hous e. lf the rubbers have•been
on 'the fee seveiltl hours, both shoes and
stockings a necessarily damp by the con. -
densatirm and e. klinentent of the perspiration;
therefore all shorn &I be re- - moved and the naked
foot held to the fire till warm and dry in every
part , The satire 1114 . 11101 d. good.in relation
.no leather boots and shoes made wal.er-proof.
For common purposes, leather boots and shoe;
are the best, if keptoven macked, with several
~
renewals of dry socks during the day; if the
feet prespire profusely.
I=l
If o: man begins to-cough, ne the result of n
common cold, it is the result of nature herself
attempting wcure, and she will effect ibis, her
own time, and mote effectually than any mu
con do, if she ig only let RlOllO, and her in•
alums cherished. What are those instincts?
She abhors food end craves warmth. Hence,
the moment a man is satistiedihat ho has la
ken a cold, let him do three things; let, oat
not an atom; 2d, go to bed and cover up in' a
warm room; 3d. drink as Much cold water as
he wants, or as much hot herb tea as he earl,
and in three cases out .of four, he will be al
mist entirely well within thirty-six hours.—
. If he does nothing for his cold for forty eight
hours after' thn cough commences, there is
nothing that Ito can swallow, that will, by any
possibility, do Wit good, for the cold, with
such it start. will run its comae of about a
fortnight, in'spito of all that can be done, and
medicine will only hinder a'cure. Peed a
cold and starve is fever," is a Mischievous fal
lacy. A cold always brings a fiGL.r; the cold'
never begins . to gel. we'l till the fever begins
to subside, and every mouthful that is swal- .
lowed feeds the fever. ,
=
We constantly notice, at our own table, that
a child will be ravenously fond of a particular
dish, and liner it while turn frmn it. The
reason is, that there was a cenqtituent in the
touch loved food which the system required,
and which it drank up greedily until it was
folly supplied, and then in,tinct would receive
no more. A thirsty man. like the arid soil,
drinks in the water until the ono is full and
the other saturated, and then the water is •re
fttsed or rejected. The soil will not receiVo it,
and it flows otf; and when a man has enough,
he becomes nauseated if he tries to drink
more. To most persons, water hen a very
disagreeable taste, if it is attempted to be
forced. " _ .
_ .
The practical conclusion to be drawn from
these facfs is simply this: Do not force your
children or yourselves to take one single
mouthful of any food or drink which, they do
not like. In sickness or health. consult the
instincts. and yield ha thorn implicit and in
stant obedience. There to sometimes a toorbid
appetite; and if indulged in freely. injurious,
if not fatal, effects may folloiv ; • but in moot
of these. miles, even, we prefer to believe it is
the niautity which does the harm, a d not the
quality; so that we arc in the habit o eying
to some dyspeptics, ''eat what you most c ave:
but if you find that it is uniformly followed
by tiomo disagreeable feeling, instead of. dis
carding the article of food, take half as much
next time, and continue to diminish the quan
tity until it is found how much of its favorite
,dish nature can• take with •impunity. If a
spoonful only can be taken with perfect
pfinity, give nature that spoonful as long as
she craves it. H
, Most of up pan call to mind canon whore a
cravcd.dish or drink W 11 . 8 imperatively forbid-
den tinder fear of death, 'if indulged in, and
yet the patient, in desperation, has gotten up
in the night.' satisfied the appetite.. and re-
eoverektrom 'that hour. We advise a safer
plan, 'Wit; adittle at a timtrof what Is so ear
nestly craved, and gradually feel .the way
along.to an amount which nature will bear.
Physicians may rest assured Hutt if the in
stincts of the invalid and the convalescent
were more closely observed and studied, they
would be more successful with less medicine.
CIIBIBT/ANITY.-IV.lint a beautiful picture or
Christianity has been drawn by Mary Ifowitt.
She says that, like 'a child, it goes wandering
over the world ,Gearless in its-innocence, it
is not abashed before Princes, nor confounded
by the wisdom o ynods. Before it the blood
stained warri sheathes his sword, and plucks
the laurel fr in his brow ; the midnight mur
derer turns front his purpose, and, like the
heaft•smitten disciple, goes out and weeps
bitterly. It . britigs Ahem to the captive, joy
to the distressed, freedom to the fettered, 're
pentance and forgiveness •to th 6 sinner, hope •
to the faint-hearted, and assurance to the dy
ing.' It enters.the hut of the poor man, and
sits down with him and his children; it nukes-r
the poverty-stricken content In the midst of
privations, and leaves behind an oveilostibg
bleseing. - ; It walks through 'great cities amid
'all their pomp and splendoqbelr,oyerrcenhig
prldn and their unutterable ruiseriv a piirlry-7
ing, ennobling, correcting' and redeeming hn
gel. N alike-the beautiful .companion of •
childhood, and the .comfortable associate
age. It , ennobles t ; gives wisdom to
the wise' t,a9ll:ntlds'neri grace to the'lovely.
The patriot, the priest; the poet, and thwelo•
quest man.. all derive their .aolilitue power
from its jtifluence'., • • •
fow diva educe -a 'friend , of oars,
Walking. down town, ea* a littltr.boy pinobing
hia,youugcr, hrot a., Who watr drying bit torly.•
tl'• Why. my boy;". Raid al& Walla young 'tor.'
mon tar, on't you know you , itm g oing very
Wrong r . .:Wltrit, would you' any if yolrehould
kill' yOui iiulo brolltorttl, ,, ..wny;” he. eplled,
"of course I should put on my , now black j
pante null go to the funeral." O.
MIR
TUB BLIND BRIDE
Tho following poem derives its origin, from
romance of real life. .'4l young la* of
great beauty and necoinplitihments was sud
denly deprived •by intimation. of the sense
of sight. Nevertheless, instead of sinking,
. •
'Under so heavy a, dispensation, into listless
ness'.: and melancholy, with an admirablO
spirit she "retained her .cheerfulness, and,con
tinned all her forinet pursuits; as far as the
privation would allow.. She continued to
play, sing,, dance, walk •and even ride out on
horseback—preserving. a bright;mind and
happy countenance amid her darkness, Soon
afterwards a gentleman returned from abroad
who had been the companion of her childhood,
and her lever in his boyhood. Touched with
the noble spirit With whlth-she bore her ca
and still retaining his old attachment
to.her, he offered her his hand and. his heart
for her accepThlice—in spite of the urgent
punsel of his friends, and even the remon
strances of the lady herself. But he remained
firm to his purpose; and the verses . were
composed, as if addressed by him to hid
blind bride:
Thou seesl me tiot,'my own deur bride . ;
Yet bright thy smile: my Esperauee,
As when 're sported, side by tilde,
Or mingled In our playmates' dance—
Thy step, as_then, is light and free, '
' Thy spirit firm end fearless still;
, 'Such power chides In constancy, •
Of faith;and hope, and steadfast will.
I lovod thee then, my heart's flratjoyl-
I lovollMe now, and tenfold more,
Thou when-the saddoned r atriplini boy
• Left tree—hie home—nod native shore.
Ono lingering gam behind I can I
' Thy. young aye ivatehed'lne from the hill
Oh, had I dreamed that look thy last I
Rut hero thou art, and dearer still.'
Thy mind's a klnstdom all my nwn„
And, like th9.lnrk in morning
Thy playful voice, with Minstrel toed, .
Can charm away my evev care..
Thu peneewla rl, putt, high thoughts Impart, '
The scents. the.sounds ofjorund earth,
Are thine—and more than all, a heart.
That bouts for thee and feels thy worth.
What though alike unmarked by thee,
,
The muunhenta nod the noontide ray,
'Tis mind, and heart, null converse free,
Turn gloom tojny, and *n . iiht tea day.
Then direr thee love; where'i•r we go,
-My step, my thought, shall wait on thino; r
Thyeyirlt, tried in weal and co,
- My Esperance„shall strengthen m ill el
1311M1113
A . Coo to WATEIL,—The following senti
ment, which.is es "apples of gold set in pic
tures of silver," is from the tragedy of fun,'
written by Thomas Noon Talfourd, an eminent
English ivrifer, Who died in 1854,. Many a
sertnon—,many a volnmo of sermons—does
not contain as month of ..thc milk of human
kindness as this brief quotation froth a thea
trical play : '
"`.Tian little thing .
To give a cup of water: yet its draught
Of cool refreshnient, - drained by fevered lips;
May send a shock of pleasure to the soul
More exquisite than when, neetarean juice '
Renews the life of joy in happiest' hours.
"fis . a little thing to speak some COIIIIIIOII word
Of comfort, which bath almost 11 -its use.'
Yet it will fall upom the ear of ht)n who tho't
to die
Unmourred, 'twill fall like choicest music."
ClinantAN.—A palmier writer contends that
one-fifth of all the children die before they
attain one year old, and significantly asks
whether, if a farmer was to lose' one-fifth of
his cello, lie would not ascertain the cause,
and apply the remedy ? Children are over
fed, overelothed, taliti%too little exercise in the
open' air, and theqe are the principal causes
of mortality among them.
I k: PAT It lOT
In his counl4's (wise, with a steadfast
And a right strong willing hand,
The Patriot lights to maintain the rights
' Of his own dear Fatherland.
In every clime; from the birth of Tituct; --- '
In many a Inird
With a datintlPss heart he has played - his par
And nut be'it owned in vain.
Inscribed on the scroll of the truly great„
Engraved by his country's . band. .
The Patriot'S name in the shrine of Fame
Banks first in his native laud.
Douirrcni —When we sec a man who' af.
tects to doubt everything he hears, we never
'fiesitate about writing him down an ass A
great doubter is a solemn and self-'conceited
prig. How amusing it: is to see the blockhead
shake his empty pate, compress his lips into
a sneer, and turn up his absurd, unmeaning
eyed in - dubinifS•dislielief, When lib heiirti Slight
which he-thinks would imply sagacity to dis
caillit ! Such persons - imagine, that to be a
great doubter implies wisdouu whereas, in
their case, it has its origin in constitutional
phlegm and stupidity.
- •
'•There are mAny devils 'who avalk this world,
• DeVils great and devils small,
Devils with tails'and devils without, •
Devils who whisper, devils who spout,
Devils who mystify, devils 'who tipagh,
Devils 'who pray, and devils who preach,
But the lying 'devil, who takes his perch,
On the highest seat in the highest church,
And 'mikes his religion the means and ends
For concealing his guilt> betraying his friends,
And affects a devotion his soul abhors, .
His morality squaring by statute' laws,
Is the shabbiestolevil of all." •
Stuanon lotw.--A distinguished writer on
the history of Women, says, that though the
French will not.sutfer a woman to sway their
sceptre, they cannot hinder her front ruling
the monarch who holds it; a ease which has
so often. happened, that, in spite of the Sall•
qua law, they have beep more under the di
rection of women than the neighboring king
dome.
MEmpro.—
My son, bo this thy simple plan •
Serve God, and love thy fellow man:
Forget noriri temptation's hour,
That sin lends sorrow double power;
Count lifti a stage upon the way, •
• And follow conscience, come what may;
Alike with heaven antrearth•sincere,
With hand and brow and brom,oloar,
"Fear Ood—turknow. no other Sear."
tdgt...rwo centuries aginot oneln ens Lute
g r . .yore stockings. Fifty yOars agn - ,"not
lia:rriie a dhousand was allowed to run at large
at night. i Fifty years ago, not one girl •in. a
thousand made a waiting maid 'of her mother.
Wonderful improvement In this wonderful ago.
•
Arden Ciatio‘ bait written four as benatiful
and touching lines he ban be found in this En
glieh language :
Aniong . the pitfallidn our way .
•
• The best of us walk blindly ; .
So, inatt,,bo,waq, watch.and pray,
. And jedgc.you,r brother kindly. •
7Titp son ,-is the largest nentetery, :and • its
sharnberers, sleep' wtheut ri atonement.
grae4ards.in other IttudsothoW sonic symbol
of distincelon betWeen"the greet and the small,,
the rich and thipitor • tint in that ocean dein ,
°Eery; the the Clown, the Khmer and
the peasant aro alike undistinguished. .
$l - 50 - per L annujin - In - advance
HUME, THE INFIDEL.—The tomb of thein
64141u:he is in Edinburgh. It is a nirOnlar
stone building, and over the iron-grated door
is inscribed his 'name, with the dates of his
birth and death. lie thought, no doubt, like
Voltaire, that he had given the dedth blow to
Christionity, but the' testimony in the tablets
in the immediate vicinity of his, own, goes to
prove .that he was not able to win over his
relatives even to his peculiar ideas.. Imme
diately above his name, is a tablet containing
by David Bine°, to his . wife. Jane Alden, do,.
led 1617, closing with these words: "Behold
I come quickly: 'rlianks be to Clod-who .giv
.eth us the victory through oitr Lo'rd"Jesus'
Christ " Also, in the interiero here is another
tablet, sacred to the memory 0-David Rums,
one of the Baronstor the Exchequer, and his
two eons, 'dated in 1898, "the whole surmount
ed by these encouraging words : "I am the
ReSurrection and the Life."
A DLoinnri Sr.t. . A young roan from the
country, writes to c mplain that having
.seen
Fowler & Wells' advertisement fo the effect
that ley hail nn exhibition, •• the skulls of'
the -. 4165t noted men in the worl," , he went
there and was disappointed in not finding the
skulls of Napoleon 111., Garibaldi, James Bu
chanan, „Edward Everett., Henry A. Wise; E.
l'ileriam, and Horace Greeley.7,o"at..Press.
TRIPLES
TURNINO THE JOKE.—/L is customary,in-s•
some;parts of the country, either
roads or steamboats, to exact one-half fare
from ministers of the different churches. Ono,
pleasant day. Capt. S. stood upon the upper
deck of his steamer, tolling the last bell pre
vious to her departure, when he was accosted
sby•it serious looking individual in the follow
ing termii: • Are y u Capl. S."?' ' I am, sir,'
said the Captain, kith a. turn of thehead 'and
a quizzical glande. • 'What is the regular fare
to Louisville ?" • Two dollars and- half.'—
•Well. Captain, I am a preacher. What will
you charge me?' Apparently in a deep study
for. a,Moment, the'Captain seemed to take tho
'measure of our clerical friend, and replied
his peculiar "decided tome: Well, I guess, we
shunt charge you a cent- more than anybody
A &moles ToKE.—Baron Yelverton, when
Chief Baron, of the Exchequer in Ireland,.
wonted a lent Circuit, and one of the assize
towns happened to be a place cf which one of
his College aotemporaries held thelivingvanil
at his own request, the Chief Baron's reverend
friend pieached the assize sermon. The time
being the month of Aarolsz- the weather vista
cold, the judo chilled; and unhappily the ser
mon was long and the preacher tedious. Af
ter the discourse was ever, the preacher de
scended from the Pulpit and approached the .
judge, looking fully satisfied with hie own ex--
ertiond,-end_expecting to receive the compli
ments and congratulations of his quondam
chum' " Well, my . Lord," he asked, " and
how did you like the sermon?' " Oh, .most
wonderfully," replied Yelverton, "jt was like
the pettee , of passeth all understand
ing; rind like his mercy; I thought it would
have endured •
tZirA good Methodist at the west end, who -
lived on a very small salary, was greatly trot!,
bled at one time to get his quarterly install
ment. 110 had called on his steward a num
ber of times, but 'had each tinte.been put off ,
with some excuse. His wants at length_ be- -
coining urgent, he went to hie steward and
luld hint that he must liave his money, tie hie
nuttily were suffering for the necessaries of
„ Money," replied the steward, „ you
pr'each for money? I thought you preached
for the good of souls " "Souls!" replied the
minister, • I can't eat souls ; and if I could,
it would take a thousand such as yours to,
make a decent meal l"
Atee•ln the time of much religious excite
ment and etinsequent discussion. an honest
Dutch farmer on. the Mohawk wani f iked hie
opinion ha to Which denominatians Chris
tisns were in the right way to Heaven. "Yell,
den; -" said he, "yen ye-ride our wheat Ib Al
bany, some say die road s js do best, and some
say dat—but it'don't make much difference
which road wo take; for Yen ye get dare day
never ask which wily we come—and it's none
of doir business—if our ?Meal is ;poll
30IINSONIANA.—That Dr. Johnson wee of an
unaccommodating disposition, the following
anecdote evinces: One evening, in company,
-he , was descanting on the misery of humeri
life; and maintaining thnt_po one,in whatever
situation, could be h a ppy HI this world ; when
Sin old maiden lady, remarkable for her cheer
fulness and resignation, observed: " I must
bo allowell, sir, to differ from you, for, thank
Heaven, lam extremely happy." " Madam,
'tie impossible, "cried Johnson, sternly, "for
you are old, and ugly, and sickly, and poor!"
CAUSE.—"Charles, what is the cause of the
College boll ringing so'," said n lady to her
beau.- - "Well," said he, quite solemnly, "if I
were to express an opinion, I slrould give it as
my deliberate conviction that somebody is—,
pulling diproper' - .. -, • ". -
Nsomf, the daughter of Enoch, was fly
hundred and eighty years old when she wfiti
parried. Courage, ladies! • .
" There never was a goose so gray,
But some day, soon or late,
An honest gander came that way;
And took her for hisanate."
A Colman intirriage,is thus noticed by one
of our contemporaries,: " Nlarried, last week,
John Cobb fo Miss Kate Webb." Their house
VII, undoubtedly, be full t it' cobwebs.
Mitwatikio News says that thebeSt
protection front . mosquitoes ivill "be obtained
by marrying a
,pretty woman." These pests.
rmier biek, a mam when they cast find some:
thing better and sweeter.
EPITAPH-ON A DUTCHMAN'S CHILDREN.—
here lice two children, dead ash nits;
Got made 'cm die mit ague fits.
Dey•was tuo goat to stay mit Ins,
So Got Wok 'cm to stay mit He.
Ete„,.,l man Went to Judge to be qualified
for au office. Said he, "Hold up your Windt .
I'll earner you, but all creation couldn't quali.
fY you." .
IterA young lady, a few evenings since,
said to her cavalier, "ploaae clasp my cloak."
"Certainly," avid ke,olasping his arms around
her, "and the contents too.' .
"JANu!i Bald a over town..."
"What's nll over town?"
"Mud !"
"Jauo'a °yob 'dropped.
se"' At a chrinioning, while the minister
MVO making the certificate, he happened to
say—f. Let me nee, this is the 30th." TIM
30th: " exclaimed the
s indignant inother,',
indeed it in only the eleVenth."
DID I , undernhour you,tpooll no a puppy.
air V' • Ye 's, air, I called :you a puppy.. :••••••
" Lucky for you. The iiioultle too small to
notice: but If you bad'ealled. tuo. 4 . . d0g:-.4411
eld dog—l would have knoolccd'you down." :'
Wirt. are ladies , the biggest thieves, in e*-,,
istenee ? BeenuSe they 'steel the pettiecdttsi,
hone the stays, and crib the !Alike. Yea in-!'
deed ? end /look each Other's dressee L ,_
MY ' wife," said n'Oritio; "is v ict 'm i s t cy p n
tempered person In'. the- arorld—she'a . aPrrays",4',."
A mum) that you buy with pretol4. Pill' -
be bougil from you'. -
IT is 'a good horse that Inver stumbles, and 1 ,
a good wife that never grulablee. •
Y• --
NO. 13.