Carlisle herald. (Carlisle, Pa.) 1845-1881, January 03, 1855, Image 2

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

January Ist. 1855.
HsAnn ye the sighing sound— e
Tint broke the stillness of the midnight hour,
The murmur breathed around
As sobbing winds, when gathering tempests lower?
Did ye not bear upon the breeze a sigh
As on its airy pinions it swept by?
It was the old year's requiem sung again
And marked the hour when it passed from meal
And did ye see the tears start,
And did ye mark the partings of last night--
That rose from heart to heart?
Those tears were joyous nud those partings bright,
But ONE was sad, between the Night and Morn
When the Now Year was from the Future born
And the Old Year, by Time, was captive led:
rhi) dews of heaven wore the tear-drops shed.
To-day dawns,—the first page
'if a now chaptAir in the Book of Fate,
And Prophet, Priest and Sage
When It has passed, its fortunes will relate,
As ill to rend or pleasant to rmiem:,
With fair deeds crowned or those of darker hue
may this Year, from nut the rounds of age
Ilk known as bright as is the virgin page.
• - And since the Old has passed
Can we look bark and call its course as bright
As that we looked on last,
the It was buried in Eternal Night? •
Were we as happy in the twelve months gone,
An joyous, when the previous year had flown?
Are we as prosperous now as when the Sun
Ilia last yein'S journey had commenced to run?
f`ould but some earthly Call
Rouse up our fathers from their dreamless sleep,
And_ could their eyes now fall
Upon our Town, what pleasures would they reap! -
in silent wonder would their minds lye chained,
They scarce would know the hulls where once they
rtaprov'ements written every where so plain
Would awe them to their silent graves again!
The tottering piles they knew
!lave Me tkwuiseives passed far Oa Momory's bound
And on their bases grow
Huge stately domes with wealth and splendor crowned!
Both Thrift and Enterprise our townsmen lead,
Drive manufactures at a railway speed,
Turn groaning mills, blow strong our foundry fires
Whirl busineSs o'er the Telegraphic wires.
The streamlest of the pring
Tlast murmured down the craggy mountain side,
Its tribute too shall bring,
That thirsty tits may have their wants supplied.
But while that silver runlet harm/ems bows
There is a stream, that rolls its tide of woes
And taints our borough, with a withering
It the stream whose waves are liquid DEATH.
And may that soon be dried I
May Duty stern within the balls of State
Ilolp atom the burning tide,
And other, healthier, stronger laws create;
Help bind the curso that withers noble hearts
And sears life's hopes with sorrow's poisoned darts;
Help bring the gifts of Prohibition down,
And gild their brows with an imniortal crown.
Our darkened streets shall.glow,
In ruddy lustre with tho new-born light=
- That Gas-5y lamps shall throw—
To brighten up the gathering gloom of night.
Our strectts, once rough, a level face display,
Have STRUCK their hideous FLAGS, gave MUCKS the sway
Would not our fathers say. should this they see
"You are advancing In Prosperity."
But let us cast an eye
Toward events. within the outer world
Mankind we hero descry,
In fortune raised, to ruination hurled.
Dec sds are tumbling, on a tottering throno.
Amd structures rising noble as our own.
Thu stirring tire of growing Freedom thrills
From Turkey's groves, to Russia's barren bills
In retrospection's gins's,
Let ps scan o'er the fortunes of an age,
Let Past and , Presant poles.
*vents that dock Timo's ever-filling page,
TIM short-lived honor, that but yesterday, •
Had 4raced a king, has now all passed away;
The bair that scarce could claim four cottage walls
Now boasts himself the lord of regal balls!
And such has been the fate,
Within a TITELVir)IONTII, of the noble band
That filled the CIIMISS or STATF,-..
Within this Keystone of our favored land,
Proud lu their might and In their purpose strong,
Conscious of right they felt intact of wrong.
0 evil hour I The polls have SET THEY I'll/La
And raised agair, triumphant Whig:mil
From wily demngogueg—
Their sorreign rights and sway tho pooplo took
And eleanaod of party clogs;
Breathed NEnnisaa-trrr a stern rebuke,
nava placed Ittrimain to guard the common wool
And growleg:ovils of the Stato to heal.
'A beacon star now gilds,tho horizon
!nut swirl will Llano into the noonday sun.
Aro wo not happy then,
Do not our gates shin° with PROSPERITY i
When New Year comes again
We treat ire shall ten-fold more prosperous be.
Succeeding days will newer fortune's bring,
r Icroming mouths with fresh improvements ring,
Each year more progperous than the former come,
Till Freedom shouts its great milleniumi
My friends, a - New Year's call
Upon you yearly has the Carrier made,
Your thanks and nudes, have all
On me a lasting obligation laid,
BoAll I have, to you that little giyo,
.wishos, "Health" and "Wealth," and (MA I' NSW)
years to live. •
'Sweet dreams to-night," to-ay tho thought enjoy
You've helped topake a happy
Stir The best outlay of money is on 'good
select Colt.
[From Godey'T Lady'R Book.)
I AM the late Patience Trice, immortal by
my, history of " My Brother Tong" published
originally in this magazine, translated and
cockneyized in England, and reproduced in
this country as an English affair.* I mar
ried a widower with ten children. If you
wish to know why, ask my brother Tom, and
he will tell you. So much for my antece
- dents; now for "My Mother-in Law."
.I flatter myself that I have-commonsense;
even my brother Tom admits that, as a geri
eral rule, though he cites exceptional circum
stances. I do know enough to retire into
the hous3 when it rains, or to take an om
ni us, or spread an umbrella. I have seen
children before tc--7ay ; if never,any,of my
own, actually own, all those of my sister's
(not a few), and my husband's ten by a for
mer connection; and I do think that my
• husband's mother might give credit for some
cap: c'ty. If marrying a man with ten Chil
dren is any proof of imfecility, as sonic
people pretend, mother-in-law shoUld, at any
rate, be the last to reproach me with it.
I do not know how good a medlar among
fruits may be, but I•dolknow that a meddler
in one's household affairs is intolerable. I
do not know precisely what the first Mrs.
Perkins died of, but if ever a coroner's jury
sits upon me, or if the doctormakes a true
return to the superintendent of the health
office, I know the verdict in the ono case, or
the report in the other, will be—"an over
dose of mother-in-law." Mr. Perkins, my
dear lord and master, is well enough, perhaps
I should say very well. I don't think he
killed his first wife, but I do hope I shall
never be required to declare, upon oath, what
are my firm convictions upon the subject.—
It might make a disturbance in the family.
If the woman was born for a plague, she
is fulfilling hermission. Such a peaked face
Such a long neck I Such lengthened sour,
ness, long drawn out! Such a leaff .and
hungry look I lf,she were any body but my
husband's mother, I could appeal to him I r
protection ; but I cannot ask the man to
rise in rebelion against his Own flesh and
blood, the author of his being. I wish she
could be content with the original production,
and not imagine that he needs her continual
supervision, as an author supervises , new
editions; and makes alerations in every one!
My welcome to the house was a damper.
Perkins, before his mariage never let me see
his mother. Widowers are prompt and
artful. Let them hut breathe on the maiden
with intent to capture, the proverb says, and
the end is sure. The facination of a serpent
exerted on a bird, is not more certain. I
am half inclined to acuse my husband of du
plicity--of (Aiming a wife under false preten
ces ; the second offence, too, the monster!
A man's children we expect twille plagued
withf and perhaps the escape 6om early
unrsing, Godfrey's cordial, . palby's carmin
ative, teething, and all that sort of thing, is
quite an equivalent for any inconvenience
which may grow out of being a mother at
second•hand, with a family capital all ready
to commence married life upon. But why
did not the creature tell me that he was to
be taken with this other and extra ineumber
anee ? Why is not the marriage-service
altered to meet such cases, thus: "I, Pa
tience, take thee, Timothy {and thy mother],
to my wedded husband [and mother-in:law)
to have and to hold"—and the rest of iti
I am sure I have and hold more, by two
thirds, of ttie mother than of the son. 01
poor me!
My welcome, as I said, was a damper.—
She kissed me heartily enough—too heartily
—for she smelt horibly of snuff. She tasted
of it, indeed; and if I could believe that any
woman ever put powdered tobacco in her
mouth, instead of in the proper place—if
the nose even is that, proper ,place—she is
that person. She turned me round and round,
and looked me all over with most wonderful
n9iichalance. She wondered whether, my
eyes'were black or dark or hazel, suggested
caps as part of the toilet of, the mother of ten
ten children, and desired to know my Chris.
tian name, as she intended to be very kind
and Very motherly: "Besides," said she ; "I ,
am Mrs. Peiknis, and one Mrs. Perkins is
enough in a house." . When.l answered that
my name was Patience, she said—" Patience!
Humph You are well named, for you will
have a time of it.. But la, dear, we must be
cheerful, and begin with a cup of And
such a pleasant look as she put on to second
her invitation Efer face is-the habitual in
carnation of lamentations, and When she at
tempts a smile her features' are so imusetEto
it that it seems more iike a twist of pain• than
an expression of pleasure. ,
iartisle ijerato.
"You will have a time of it," she repeated,
for thy encouragement, as she placed. me at
the head of the table, behind a wilderness of
cups and saucers, and other tea and toast
paraphernalia. "There's no company to
night, Patience; just ourselves I .
Site watched with a hope for contretemps
as I proceeded to tea and. toast the little mul
titude, but I survived it. I have learned
since that, with malice prepense; she trusted
t disguise-and-fort;e-m to surrender to her
at discretion. The next morning at break
fast she hoped to reap the fruits of her ma_
"Well, Patience," she said, "will you sit
at the waiter, or shall I?" (with a motion to
ward the coveted poat---a dignity perhaps,
but no sinecure.) "Now, or never," thought
I, and slipped into the seat, with a determi
nation to assert my prerogative once for
" Well, then, I must tell you," says mother
" Mr. Perkins does not take much
cream, Tim don't takciougar, James don't
take cream, Will don't take either, Tom has
milk and water; Sally has milk, Jane drinks
water, John a mustn't have coffee, and you
are 'not to give Ruth any butter, Susy has
milk and water, sweetened, and Lizzie mustn't
have hot bread."
" Well," said I, having despatched Mr.
"what does grapdmother
'crkin's cup,
You should have seen her eyes! There
were the scintilations of fourteen furies in
them. " Who? _ Oh, yes, I understand. I
—6ll, never mind r t e!l'm - - nobody! And
then she .sobbed and sniffled, and Mr. Per•
kips an unwonted state of excitement
and the children exchanged winks and
smiles, and I—sat still. If a woman with
ten grati,,ciiilkiren It. tow lot, to say nothing
of their probable cousins, is not entitled to
the honored name of grandmother, prey who
So breakfast passed. Mother•in-]aw re
covered her serenity before the meal was
Husband—dear me, what a word
at is for me to write•l=-husband-went about
his business, and mother-in-law undertook to
invest me with the
_power of the keys, enli
vening onr progress through the establish
ment with some very interesting remarks.—
"Mr. Perkins Is a very fine man, my dear,
though I am his mother who says it—a very
fine man: but he has a dreadful temper, and
you must not let him get set against you,—
He is very easy to please, but you must be
particular to get up his - shirts carefully, for
he will storm like an earthquake at a missing;
button. He is not at all dillicUlt about his
table, but things must,be served up right or
he will not eat them. I'm his mother, and
am used to his ways. He is very neat and
careful, but he never puts anything away,
and will keep a person picking up after him
all the time; and he wants everything he
calls for brought to him just to a tr Mute.-
-lle is not at all hard to please when one
knows him, only it takes all your thoughts to
do it; but I'm used to that.",
This was a pleasant introduction, certain.
ly, to my,matrial duties. "Then there's the
children," she continued ; "a nice family as
one need desire. But the oldest, that's Tim
othy, has picked up some bad habits. lie
will swear dreadftillY, but he is a good boy
for all that. And James, that's the second
son, isa fine - lad, and willing; but you must
not expose him to temptation by leap ing
loose money about. Willy is a healthy and
well-doing boy in the main, but he likes to
creep into the store-room, As sure as he
eats a handful of raisins, and he will do it
when he can, he,goes into convulsions. Tom
is quiet, but dreadful mischievous sometimes;
and there's no harm in the girls, except that
they guard, as all children will, and won't
take care of their clothes ; no children do.—
and John, he plagues us almost to death,'
and Mr. Perkins Vas no goVernment over any
of them, and you'll have to do hall, my dear ;•
but you must not be discouraged. int here,
and if they don't mind, just turn.thern over
to me l"
Do you wish to know what' I did? Go
marry yourself to a
.widower, ten children
and a mother-in-law; place yourself, a for
eign substance; among three generations of
cognates and you'll find out. I "just natur
ally." as they say' out west, went to my room,
threw myself on- the bed and cried. Tears
won't provide a dinner, I know, and I knew,
it then ; but I did not imagine that 4ny One
expected that I should fall into providing fur
the household—l, a stranger, and in a strange
place—oh, how strange I I don't know how
long I laid there in my - half sleep, half- sob.
Presently I heard' "Mother!" screamed in
childish treble—";bother!" growled.iiol
hobbledehoy accent--" Mother I" whined—
" Mother!" shouted " Mother
"Mother Mother! ! Mother !II"
"Who.isthat wretch of a mother ?" I said;
angrily, as I bounced from the'bed to the
glass, and then laved away the traces of my
tears. "Why is the wretch, and why don't
she answer?" I did not dream that ./Could
be meant. "What is the matter 7" I asked,
opening the door and running out, to find
seven or eight of the Perkins young fry sit
ting on the stairs. "Who calls 7"
" all of us," said the oldest, as spokes
man for the whole. "Grandmother said we
Were to call you mother."'
"But she did not tell you to set up such a
horrid concert, did she? If she did, I for.
liid it. Call me mother, and I'll try to be
one; but never shout the word again, or call
me at all' when you are near enough for me
to hear you speak in your natural voice.—
Come to me when you want me. Where is
your grandmother?"
"She went out, and said she would dot be
in till dinner; and there's no dinner getting
ready, and nothing to eat, and we're all han
• "Go then and eat , anything you can find."
"But everything is locked up, and you
have the keys. Grandmother said s befu:e
she went out."
"Oh, she did, did she?" said 1, laughing,
and running down stairs over a score of legs
and.arms. Now I saw the conspiracy. The
pantry was speedily unlocked, and the key
has not, been in the door since. Leaving the
c!iildren to discuss their lunch, I walked on
to the kitchen. There sat a great lump of a
cook, with her feet in the ashes, and her face
turned to-me with an expression which said,
."now for a battle "Where's your fire,"
said I, and what's for dinner?':'
"Sure' yourself, that's On new musthress
must tell me what. The ould musthress
touhl me I was to do nothing till you dirhect
"Did she? And why did you not come to
me hours ago?"
"Sure, I was tould to wait till you hid me."
"Well, then, Ido bid you. Pick up your
movables and leave the house. Call in the
evening, and Mr. Perkins's mother will pay
you your wages." The girl stared as if doubt.
ing her sepses. "Come! move!' You are in
my way! And she did move, muttering
something about upstarts, which I .did not
heed. As my first order and last, to that in
dividual was obeyed, I cared not with how
little grace she did it. I heard her stop to
speak to the children in the pantry. The
sound of nly footsteps approaching was e
nough, and she was off. "Come, children,"
said, "what's to be had ? Your father will
e home to dinner presently, and we must
have it up in a,hurry."
Each did his or her part, highly amused at
what they considered a good frolic. One did
one thing, and another something, else. The
boys brought fuel and watcm the/A dis
covered the edibles and comestibles. A fine
dish of ham and eggs, a cold joint, a pie—a
decidedly picnic affair—were strvcd up to
the moment. Perkins came in, and we twelve
were seated in the best' possible humor of
pleased excitement. I had found my way
straight to the hearts of the children, and
had no fears for the rest.
Mother•-in law walked in as we were enjoy_
ing ourselves. A strange expression of dis
appointment came over her face at seeing
everything so comfortable. "I ought to make
you an apology for being late," she said
"but I make allowances for a young house
keeper, and did act think you 'could be so
punctual.'' • "No thanks to you," thought I,
but I said nothing. No sooner was mother
in-law down to the table than she was up a—
gain, and calling "Charlotte," at the head of
the kitchen stairs.
"What is the matter?" • I asked.
"That stupid girlof oni•s•I she has put on
a dirty table-cloth, and the old knives and the
steel fcrks and there's no spoon for the gra
vy—and this is stale bread , —Und—and—l'm
sure my 8011 can't abide such a table !"
"Then it must be me that he finds fault
with. I dismissed Charlotte three-quarters
of an hour ago, at which time she had not
taken a step towards dinner. Since then the
Children and I have got up this, such as it is,
impromptu." •
"And a very good dinner, too," said Per.
kins. "I don't desire a better."
Mother-in-law gave him an angry glance,
and `then, turning to nte, said, with forced
emu posure--
"You don't mean that you have turned a
girl out of doors, without warning who bas
lived here five years!"
"I did.not use physical force certainly, but
I did employ vei l y . powerful moral suasion.—
We are too strong in young_girls to tolerate
• .
kitchen impertmeiice. •
Such was the coup deal, or rather coup de
.cuisine, with whichl inaugurated myself. It
w t s - etreotti L Motherinlaw was completely
'checkmated, and my authority was establish
ed.. Perkins is insensible man. Widowers
generally are
,experienced and wise. As a
matter of prudent investment, let me .recom•
mend the young lady who has love to lay
out, to expend it upon a widower, if one in
to be had. Such is my experience. My hus
band left the whole house to my manapi
ment, and I must say that I have succeeded
wonderfully. The children are not at all the
nuisances that their affectionate grandparent
represented them. Indeed, they have become
in a couple of years; quite models, so Perkins
says,,and he knows them best, of course. 1
stick to my text. I had rather had twenty
children all "mothering" me at once, than
one brother Tom.
But the„ mother•in-law—oh, dear I She is
the thorn in my side. I can't discharge her
as I did the girl, or manage her as I can the
children. Perkins talks of buying her an
annuity, that she may set, up housekeeping on
her own account. I aliinost wish he would—
and yet I don't want her to get up a grand
claim for sympathy on the plea that I have
separated mother and child, turned her out
of doors, and twenty other horrid things, as
she would be sure to do.
*. * * * * *
It is three months since I saw the precetr
ing till now. 1 0 ened my portfolio this fine
May morning. -Do you know the world looks
very cheerful to me. now? I have a new
stake in it. As I said, I opened my papers,
and have been quite amused at my own non
sense about the old lady, which I had really
entirely forgotten. Family cares put the pen
aside, and authorship, letters to friends are
quite unheeded. But I may just remark by
way of conclusion, that mother-in-law has be
come useful as well as . ornamental. She
thinks herself indispensable. Well, no
objection. Employment keeps her out of
mischief, and I -give her the baby to had.
eloquent extract.
Mr. Bancroft's Oration
The Semi-Centennial Anniversary of thei
New York Historical Society, was celebrated
o i the afternoon of the 20th ult., and an
oration was pronounced on the occasion, by
Hon. George Bancroft, the historian. We
are sure that our many intellectual readers
will peruse with pleasure the extracts below.
The orator thus rebukes the material tea•
dencies of the age: ,
* * * "We are enterirrg on a new era
in the history'of the race, and though Nje
cannot cast its horoscope, we may at least
in some measure discern the cause of it!
" Here' we are met at the very threliholil
of our argument by an, afterbirth of the ma
terialism of the last century. A feeble effort
is making to reconstruct society on the situ.
ple observation of the laws of the visible uni-*
verse. The system is presented with arrogant
pretension under the name of " Positive
Philosophy," and deduces its lineage t.hro' the
English unitarianism of Priestly and Belsham
and the French materialism which culmin_
ated in Broussais. It scoffs at all questions
of metaphysics and religious faith as inso
luble and unworthy of human attention ; and
sets up the banner of an affirming creed iu
the very moment that it describes its main
characteristic as a refusal to recognise the
infinite. How those who take opinions from
Hubbes and Locke, and their, continent:!
interpreters, and still adhere to the , philoso
phy which owns no source of knowledge but
We senses, can escape the humiliating yoke
of this new system, I leave them to discover.
But the system is as little entitled to be
feared avto be received. When it has put
together all that it can collect of the laws of
the .material uni , :rerse, it can advance 111)
further towards the explanation of existence : 3
morals,•or reason. They who listen as welt
td the instructions of inward experience, may
smile at the air of wisdom with which such •
a scheme, that has no basis in the soul, i•;
presented to the world as a new universal
creed—,the Catholic Church of the materiUir,
ist. Its handful of acolites wonder why tee',
remain ao few. But atheism never holds
sway over human thought, except as a Usur
per.; no child of its own succeeding. Error
is a convertible term with itleetty. Ealse•
hood and death :are synorynis. Falseho6kl
can gain no purulent foothold in the im•
- _ -
nortal soul, for there can be no abidink
cal faith except in that which is eternality
and universally true. The future of the
world will never produce a race of atheist*
and their casual appearance is but the cvi,
denCe of some ill.understood truth some
mistaken direction of the human mind; some
partial and imperfect view of creation. The
atheist . denies the life of life, which is the
source of libery. Proclaiming himself
the = finite thing of to day-, he rejeam tdi
Concluded on 3d page