0
pottrq.,
BEYOND TILE RIVER.
There le a river deep and wide :
And while illoutc its hanks we stay,
We coo our loved ones o'er its tide,
:Call from our si •ht /MTV away.
Where are they sped—they who return
,No more tltdd
ren our t
lelnthq eyes?
They've paei life'a'eontracted Worn°
To land Ilea' 1, unknown. that lies
Beyond the river.
gloss
Tis hill from rimy: hilt WO mny
Iluu beautiful that realm must be,
, 'or gleaming:: of ils loveliness.
lu visions granted, oft we see.
iLa very clouds that o'er It throw
..Their veil. u mised fir mortal Sight
ltb told en 1 purple tittings glow,
1101w:tea from the glorious light
Beyond the river
ml gentle airs, sg sweet, so calm.
Steal sometimes from that viewless sphere;
:he mourner feels their breath of balm,
And soothed sorrow dries the tear.
kthl sometime, list'ning ear may gall)
lintranehkg a mild that higher 9o n t ;4 _
— he echo of a distant - strain—
Of harp's and veires' blended notes,
Beyond the river.
'hem :ire our loved ones in their rust:
' Ther've ero4sett Time's River% now no more
'hey herd the bubbles on its breast,
Nor Mel the storms that sweep its shore.
ant there pure love elm live, can last—
Thee' look f4' us their home to share:
With joyful greetiugslweit us curer'.
Beyond the river:
.4"flrtt Tait.
Faun the rohnubian and 1 reat Ward.)
.JULATIONS of a BASHFUL MAN
y First Appearance in Society. .a
and_reininiscences
ihful days hang to Os. How easy,
Ind disthit.tiv,•iv we can see the first
, first boots we wore, or books we read
thousand of :inch sublunary things
g in at a much, later date, are almost
:tie in our memories.
• i . remember—fitith an hundred years
I not dim the ri.colleetion," OA :Frank
. -"my first dash in society. I was old
-2,1 to be better educated in the ways of
-,orld, but it was my weakness to be malt
') ..shful; I was big enough to take care
;-self; but I was tootimid and unsophisti
, .1, and hence my difficulties. We lived
. small neighborhood, bet abundantly sup
. I with. live people and any quantity of
' I looking girls. While I was in jacket
trowsers, we•girls and boys got along to
.tr slick as a whistle, as our Yankee
ids say. But by and bycLleft home to
.rn a double-fisted, bullet-headed individ
, 'in coat and rantaloons, and with about
to eight sprouts of a sickly sort of utons
.e ornamenting my upper lip.
The little girls I left behind me had not
negbcted by nature or art. I returned
and that time—evert the brief period of
vears—had worked wonders, Susan,. Ann,
,e, Mary, Polly, Betsy, and so forth, had
orne Miss Jones, Miss Smith, Miss this
Miss that, therefore they were young
:es and setting their caps for beaus. It
soon known that I had got home. Sonic
accessiuns to the population had been
le in the way of two aristocratiCally in-'
led families from the city of - , and
Ise families had some four or five highly
ished daughters each. Well we saw them
1 they saw
. us for four or. five days, we
pt shady, Ogling the girls—beg pardon, at
• Tiltanee; dodging them if they were likely
get too close and making ourself mighty
:Are° if any of them made their appearance
•
, tout our domicil.
" 'Frank,' said my sister-in-law,(for I nev
,blossed with a sister, or perhaps I
itild not have been so backward-in conr-
I forward, you see.) Well, my brother's
To says to me : 'Frank why dont you buck
to the girls; 1 really. believe they come
,er to soe you, and whenever they appear,
you shoot, us if mad .doga..• were, after
al 1 - Youltre it'Ot afraid of them, are you?'
'" 4(' PT-11416, , " 1;hesitatingly replied..
!`They Troh't bite you." •
•
let, suppose they said 1
"Then don't be stupid, when • Miss Smith
-- d - Mi',Sr'Jones, and the t;wo Miss DeGrands
ne over I again, let me—ah! here comes
Jonel3onow-Frank,--
''''A.:—a--:-Lotty;.don't i. " I nervously
- • .'l'll' introduce you—den't be stupid; stand
• be hatiged if I
:;{'Good morning, Lizzie- 7 --glad to see you.'
ttisperiiig to me, who trembled like a leaf,
stilt you 'gOosed Miss, Jones, allow
to:introduce you to my brother, Mr. Fox;
Miss Jones."
good morning sir----beg par
r ,
how (rye do?" thiS perfectly herculean
,;. ,e t quite exhnusted me; I never came so
r :choking in thy life. Thanks to my, siS
in law, if slie got me into the ice she got
out'again, for • her tongue ran pit a-lt,
• ter clatter nr; a marled wonlaum tongue will
confidence, I burst out all of a sudden-'how
do vou do,'Miss Jones!'
,:as my sister-in law
uid Miss Jones had liven talking right strait
along without a reference to me at all, who
had - sat as silent as a mandarin, a sudden
spasm quite startled them ; Miss J011(28 blush
ing like a carnation or a scarlet dahlia, in.a
fine sikery voice said: .
Quite well, Mr Fox, HunilryOu.
"Thank you,' I involuntarily:echoed.
"Ha! ha I ha!" roared my sister-in lttw.
"Charlotte I" said I in a voice of such ab
s Ante firmness that it quite checked her Ca
chinatiry ejaculations. I had arose from my
seat to make this determined effort at elocu
tion. I raised my hand to give it force, and
fruitlessly waved it once or twice more to
give the grand florish to the rest 'of my
remarks,butl was done, could not . get off
another woril, and so with a buried motion,
I snatched up my t hat and bolted out of the
room.
Godknows how my sister-in law straigh
toned 'things with Miss Jones, but I felt worse
than a kill-sheep dog.. I felt so ashamed of
my stupidity, that. next day in revenge upon
myself, I not only went smack hang over to
Miss Jones' to make an itimlogY for my rude
ness, hut dueling my stay there—the alarm
ing space of five consecutive minutes, accep,.;
'ted from the pretty lips of Miss J. an invita
tion to attend a whist party at the residence
of the Miss DeGrands, the - next evening. 1
felt bold as a sheep! asl marched over hoine
after such n display of cool courage and self-
Lpossession r and—upon_in,v._sister-in-lnw meet—
!.
mg me in the vestibule, and saying:,
"Why, Frank, 1 -thought I saw you going
into Squire Jones'."
"Well, of course you did,"_says I, bold as
t wo sheep.
"You arc
. mightily tickled, Frank, what is
the matter?" •
"Lotty," says 1, twitching up my shirt cols
-
lar and viewing my frizzled head in the par
lor glass, "Lotty, I'm going to a party!"
"Yon are!" said she.
"1 a in." °
"Pray where, Frank, at Miss Jones'?"
"No. At the Miss Degrand's," says I.
"La! Frank!"
"Yes, main!" I responded With utter dis
t inetness.
"Ilurral for you, Frank. Geod!" cried
Lotty, "and who arc you going with, Liz
zie?"
"No, by myself, of course. Who should
go with?"
"Why, Miss Jones, you booby, hasn't she
invited von?"
"N—no," I hesitatingly replied; "She in
vited me to attend the party. I said I would,
but she did not invite me to go with her."
"Oh! you goose," laughingly 'exclainied
Lotto, "why Frank you are the greatest booby
I a—
I heard no more, for I cleared out to re-,
fleet *ion the now apparent fix I was getting
my father's son. into. From that time to the
hour of six, P. M., next day, I was in a twit
ter of excitement. Urged by my sip_er-in
law, I "fixed up" to the nines; such a "dan
dy jack" as :I appeared, never illuminated
that region before nor since, .engage.--
All ready, off I goes to Miss Jono's. • I pull
ed•the bell with a most nervous twitch LI
"iyalked in" with fear and misgivings. In
the parlor sat not only Miss Jones, but her
two cousins, the old lady; a maiden aunt, and
some four br five of the - junior branches of
the Jones' family. I got-through, but it was
fearful work. I sat my hat on the centre-ta
ble, and it fell off; I - picked it up, and in .so
doing, hit my nose agpinst a pile of gilt
edged literature, and down it•came,
but the children came to mproscue, unit j
finally found. myself armed wtih a lady On
each side—the cousins ! Imagine rmy feel
ings=Mis's,.J, going in ad ranee - en - frinte
doWn the avenue to the portly residence, Of
the Miss Degrands. We entered the vesti
bule; I had not spoken trWiSrd all the way—
the two pretty cousins and Miss J. doing
leap ofi --- mversation. In the i idl the old
negro servant made a grab at my hat, but
held ou, and in triumph carried it into the
parlor, where, in the midst of introductions,
flaring of lamps, waving and fluttering of
silks and cashniere4 bowing, scraping, fuss
and feathers, to all of which I was more or
less deaf and blind, down upon a piano -steel,
in the corner I lays my hat. .
The two cousins froze to me, introduced
me, I bowed; one of the Miss Degrands
canto, forward, I was intrOducedi and it's she,
by the' Op .of fashion, made ,
.her perfectly
, grand theatrical bow, .I grabbed, her by the
hand, and' in the most 'dentecratic mtrmier
imaginable, shook it most heartily. She not
Only blushed,, but by'lier eyes I saw that she,
was likewise mad jts a d hornet. Her sister
and her had a, word and likr'• sister avoided
the. Things grew no .lAttk - ens i t; froin one
Lunge I got into another. In typist I, wa6'
and nv,.l:v,.:lrtl; in a 11(ipi Walt?,till
' but it was too
peralb.
one [if . the - cousins, read on her toes until
she screamed, and in trying to mend the mat
ter, I stepped upon the flounces of Miss De
grand's dress and tore off five yards at least.
In despair, I backed down, saw a seat, back
upon it, any head dizzy I rushed; mid down
I :at squash upon my own bat! In confu
sion I arose, snatched up the pancake look
ing affair, which I' frenziedly held up to the
vulgar gaze. There was a roar of laughter- 7 -
in which I did not join I fissure you. I gave
a rush forward, hit the corner of a table,
tilted over the astral lamp!—suclra crash!—
I kept on, I made for the door, which just
then old llegrand was entering avaunt cou
rier of his old negro man, who bore a large
tray well filled with Wine in glasses. I struck
the old gentleman so forcibly that . he fell
back Upon Pompey, and down went Pompey
glasses and wine, and on my mad career I
proceeded! Going out the wrong enirof the
hall, I found myself in a dark dining room,
but jeikin*pen the first door in advance, I
,went out into a hall, thence to an anteroom,
groping in the dark I struck my forehead a
gainst a half open kitehen - door, saw bushels
of stars and—fell senseless.
How or when I got home the Lord only
knows, but for one week, I had a head too
big for a hat, and a pair of terrifically black
eyes. As soon as I was able to travel I left
that "settlement" never to return.
u m nrotls
HERE SHE GOES, AND THERE SHE
GOES.
The following amusing and well told story
was published in one of the city papers of
Gotham about a dozen-years ago. It occa
sioned nt the time a good deal of merriment:
Not long. since, two stylish looking per
sons, put up for the night in the upper part
of the city. On the morrow, after ordering
their bill,• they sent for the landlord, who
was not long in waiting on his aristocratic
guests.
"TWi 11 to purchase that old clock up
stairs, will you sell it?" asked the - older,
while the younger lit a cigar, and cast his
eyes over the columns of a newspaper which
la,v upon the table. The landlord, who had
set no great value upon the clock, except as
an heir-began to suspect it might possess the
virtues of Martin Heywood's chair, and be
filled with coin; and almost involuntarily,
the three ascended to the room which con
tained it.
"The fact is," said the elder,. "I once won
twenty pounds with a clock like that."
"Twenty pounds !" ejaculated the land=
lord.
'.'Yes! you see there was one like' it in a
room down in Essex and a fellow bet me he
Coild keep his forefinger swinging with the
pendulum, for an, hour, only saying, 'Here
she goes, and there she goes.' He couldn't
do it. I walked the money out of him in no
time."
"You did. You couldn't walk it out of
me: I'll bet you ten pounds I can do it on
the spot !"
"Done," cried the knowing one.
The clock, struck eight, and with his back
to the table and the door the landlord popped
into n chair.
"Here she goes and there she goes !" and
his finger waved in curie, his . eyes fully fixed
on the pendulum:.'
The fellows behind interrupted, "Where's
the mosey ? Plink the money."
The landlord was not to lose in that way.
His forefinger slowly and surely went with
the pendulum,'andhis , lett hand diseng,aged 7
hiS parse from his pockt, which he threw
behind hint on the table. All was silent ;
the dapper man at length exeli.med.
"Shall I deptisit the moneyin the hands tr
the waiter:?"
"Here she goes, there she goes," was the
only answer.
L_Guo_oLtim_wags tett titO_'roOmL__.The_ltunk
lOrd heahl him :go down
,stairs, but he was
not to bO disturbed by that trick.,,_
Presently .the waiter, entered, and touching
him upon the shoulder asked—
" Mr. B , are you crazy? What are ,
you doing?"
"Here • she ; pea, there - she goes r. he, yu
spOuded,ltis hand waving' the forefinger cis
before.
.
The.waitei rushed dimly stairs he called
, I
one of the neighbors tislied Mtn to go
up. - They both ascendol, and the neighbor
seizing hint gently b ) the collar, in an int
ploriug Enid , "Mr. B ,
do not
,sit here. Come,
ednie down stairs; what can possess you 'to
sit Here?"
"Here she • goes, there she goes l" .vas the
sole reply, and the .slowly.moviv
,finger set
tled the 'natter. He was
H u is IC l,'' n•bi , luru,f the friend in n
The landlord was not to be duped, he was,
not to be deceived, although the whole town
came to deceive him:
"You had better call up his wife," added
his friend.
"Here she goes, there she gOes," replied
the landlord, his hand still moving on.
In a moment Ms wife entered full of agony
of soul.
"My dear!" she kindly said, "look on Me.
It is your wife who speaks!"
"Here she goes, there she goes!" and his
hand continued to go but his wife :wouldn't
go she would stay, and he thought she was
determined to conspire against him and
make him lose the wager. She wept, as
she continued,
"What cause have you for.this? Why do
you do so? Has your wife "
"Here she goes, there she goes!" and his
finger seemed to be tracing her airy progress
foF.'anything she could ascertain to the con
trary.
"My de b ar," she still continued,
,thinking
that the thought of his child whom he fondly
loved, would tend to restore "shall I
call your daughter?"
"Here she goes, there she goes!" yet again
the harmony with the waving finger issued
from the lips of the landlord.
"A consultation ) I think will be necessary,
said the 'physician. Will you run for Dr.
A
The hind, neighbor buttoned up his coat
and left the moil].
--In a - few iiru tes - Dr. - - A --
other medical gentleman entered.
"This is a sorry sight," said he to the doc
tor with him.
"Indeed it is sir," was the reply. "It is a
sudden attack, one of the
"Here she goes,, there she goe.l" v;:as the
sole reply. The physicians' stepped into a
corner and consulted together.
' "Will you be good enough to run for a
litirhe'r, we must have his head shaved and
blistered," said Dr. A—, •
"Ah, poor, dear husband," said the lady.—
"I fear he will never knew his miserable
wife."
"Here.she goes, there she goes," said the
landlord with a little more emphasis, and a
more nervous, yet determined waving of the
finger in concert with the pendulum; for the
minute hand was near the hoc/Pe—that point
which was to put ten pounds into his pocketT
if the hand arrived at it without suffering
himself to be interrupted. •
The wife, in a low bewailing tone continu
ed her utterances—
"No! never, nor his (laughter."
"Here she goes, there she goes," almost
shouted the landlOrd as the minute hand ar
rived at the desired point.
The barber arrived, he was naturally a
talkative man, and when the doctor made
some casual remark, refleCting upon the
quality of the instrument he was about to
use, ho replied
-- "Ah, ha I Monsieur, you say ver bad to
raizer:.:46Sb - etititiful—ehl look—look—very
fine, isn't he?"
"Hero she goes, there she goes!" scream
ed the landlord, his hand waving on—on, his,
face gathering.a smile, and his whole frame
in readiness to be convulsed with joy.
The barber was amazed. "Here she goes
there she goeil" he responded in the best
English he could use. E'Vare? vare shall I
begin? . V . -at his dat he say?
"Shave his head at once!" interrnpted the
doctor, while the lady sank, into a chair.
"Here she goes, there she 'goes!" for the
last time cried tlie landlord, as the clock ,
struck the h;ntr of nine, and he sprang from
his seat in an ecstasy of delight, screaming
at the top of his voice, as he_skipped about ,
th9goth. ' , '
6 k.l'ireivonit--:l've won it!"
echoed•the doctors.
. "What?" re-echoed his wife.
"Why, the wager—ten pounds!" But cast
ing his eyes around the. room, and missing
the'young men who induced hint to watch
the clock, he aitketl—
"Where are those, young men who supped
here last . '.night? eh? quick—lwhore are
they?"
• "They . went away in their phaeton nearly
an hour ago, sir!" was the reply of ho twaiter.
llio4rtith - flashed like n'tiltini'llerbelt
his mind.
,They had taken his pocket book
with twenty-one pounds therein, and decamp
ed—a couple of sWindling.shurpors, with wit
to back them.
Xtigt,„"l am glad you are going to stay here
to ten this afternoon," said a little boy 'to a
lady. visitor of his maternal parent. - .
" hy so, my son V'
"'Tansy we always get hot biscuit When
~
there's company to* ten." , ' : ! T. 1 ,
• , ,f
te,-My German friend, how long hove
rum• been married? " \Tel, (tat is a ling vat,
Se 1,1011) 11 . 1 to I h 11 tni
ELEPHANT PERFORMANCES.
PARIS, Sept. 12, 1854.—Since I saw an
elephant. stand on his head at the 'circus in
Paris, I have not been more amused than I
was an evening or two since at the Cirque
de. l'lmperatriee. The elephants were evi
deafly young and very docile creatures, and
appeared in the immense area of saw dust
and tan to be - somewhat smaller than usual.
They were handled by a muscular fellow,
who had more control over them than any
mahout I ever saw in India. They waltzed,
danced, "promenaded, and walked on their
heads. I never laughed more in my life than
at this singular performance. To see the
trunk and tusks place themselves firmly on a
-srpall raised platform in the ring, and then
to behold the huge slouching legs and dimin
utive tail gradually elevated, the act diselef.....
ing a vast expanse of dirty,_tawny looking
belly, was infinitely ludicrous. The elephants
seemed to enjoy this attitude, too, very - Much,
and disclosed no modesty whatever iu reveal
ing the whole beauty of their construction
to an intelligent public. A rdward of a
cracker or an apple invariably elicited a rep
etition, and once, in the ardor .of success,
one aspiring animal tumbled forward on his
back! His fall shook the h4se, and for a
moment or two discomposed him i but he
quickly recovered himself, and emulated his
companion, who, in his unnatural attitude
had been a quiet but observing spectator of
the effects of the too laty throwing of the
hind legs towards the ceiling. They subse
gauntly interlace - d - their — tWthkg, andiro — a dig:
criu muting strain froin the orchestra, per
formed a series of evolutions which, if they
were not characterized by an extraordinary
rapidity, were at least distinguishable forthe
dignity attending their accomplishment.—
' Feats with their trunks they exhibited in pro.
fusion; but the grand and lofty tumbling,
and the waltzing were things, to me as su
premely ridiculous as they were wonderfully
industrious. They circulated their. keeper,
at his command, in every direction, saluted
'the audienee„ embraced each other, and
graceftilly retired from the arena,,. bearing
between them the biped whose stature, in
comparison, appeared so contemptible, and
overwhelmed with applauses and latSdations
from the delighted spectators. , All Paris
flocked to see them during the engagement,
and the owner, I suppose,reacted hand:
.
some fortune.
The animated ladder is also an extraordi
nary performance. Nerve, skill and compo
sure distinguish the individual who immor
talizes himself nightly ler five francs a
month. Ile mounts,a narrow ladder, some
ten feet high, and from the topmost , round
really appears to imbue it with human intel
ligence and animation. It struts, trots, gal
lops, beats a measure, or is stationary under
his influence. As a finale, he holds it and
himself in eqUilibrium and fiddles the carni
val of Paganini in
, a very creditable manner.
The ladder does not move a hair's breadth;
it seems to be driven in the ground and the
man tied to it, so Utterly motionless do both
remain (with the exception of the motion no.
cessary to the violin playing) 'until be bat
„concluded—then bah walk away as steady
a§ possible. Raversladder feet is decidedly
inferior toit, though at the Howard ,Athense
. um I remember to have seen him exploit
very sublimely. The leg development neces
isary to this performance, we can both' be-,
lieve, must be enormous. The fellow, how
-1 ever, is like 4, almost all French circus per.
formers—short, square, and very quick and
graceful in hp movements. There are ,many
other entertainments incidenito the Empress'
circus which are equally striking and inter
esting; but I will not exhaust your patience
Boston Post.
.—Recent accounts from
that the 'ship Rygoia
nd' eiim'plictely lost on a
Sea. She had on board
o_ paßsongers
sland where they could
tor water, and.for twenty
iys _her means of sustaining .
life than by eating grass and roots. The
sufferings of these poor people can saarcely.
be imagined. The United. States Surveying
brig Porpoise was despatched to the wreck„
and succeeded iu taking them. all off, and
onveying them safely . . to Hoag: - Koug, ex
cePt four men who died on thv island, and
one who perished immediately after getting
on board the PorpoiSe. Tue latter was so
erowdedovith this throng of passengers that
her ereW had actually to sleep in the tops.
xpirlhatiem offers five hundred dollars
for the hen that "laid a wager.',' 4)uo hitto'%
Bred fertile eat that was "let out of the bag.
Two hundred for the cow that "chewed the
cutl of bitter fancy." And three htindrod
atrl Thy till , lt,;n4't , that Aire?, upon . Ilto.
s,,\\ ,•;1 :t • tear! . math
ME
wheJan-