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E. BEATTY, Proprietor
iGd I~~lltla.
- Dl. C. S. BAILER,
ESPEIGTFULLY offprs his prefessionar
sortwes to the citizens of Carlisle end sur•
rottadlog country.
Otiiw nod residence in South Hanover street,
dire.nly opposite to the Volunteer (Mice."
cod isle, Apl 20, 053
Dr. GEORGE Z. BRETZ,
t WILL perform ni
opetitions upon the
. tectlvhtit May ho re
required for their preserviition. teeth
iiierted, from a single tooth to anentire set, of
the as tst scientific principles. Diseases of the
moats and irreolarities carefully treated. 01
lice at the residence his'brother; on North
Pitt Street. Carlisle
GEOR,GEI MerEl,
_TIN LICE OF TL-IE PEACE. OF
FICE at his residence, cornet .51 Mein street
ani tits Public Square, opposite 13nrkholder's
11.nol. In addition to the duties of Justii pOl
the Peace, will attend to.all kinds of writtn,
au. :It as deeds, bands, mortgages, indentures,
articles of agreement, notes, &c.
Carlisle, no 8'49.
DA. X. C. LOOMIS,
. tt nateit
.trt"-A
operations upon tan
Teeth that are renal- .
red for their preservation, such as Sealing,Filing,
Plugging, &c,
or will restore the loss of them
by inser ting Artificial Teeth, from a single tooth
to a full sett. co— Wilco on Pitt street, a few
doors south of the Railroad I-Trtel. Dr. L. is al,
out from Carlisle the last ten days of eve' r
month. ,
Da. S. B. .11ELIS.V.r.701C.,
(11 , 1 , 1 C E in North Hanoverstrect adjtiining
I[r. Wolf's store. Office hours, more par
ticularly from 7 to 9 o'clock, A. M., and from
5 to 7 o'clock. P. M. Bunelh'99
33r. OTOIXII S. SPRIGGS,
OFFERS hie professional services to tho
people ot,Dichinson township, avid vicinity.—
Reßidonqe—on the Walnut Bottom Road, one
mile oast. oPContreville. regl I ypd
G. a. COLE,
A TTQRNSY AT LAW, will
ttend
promptly to all business entinsted•to him.
Office in the room formerly occupied by Wil
liam Irvine, Esq., North Hanover St ,•Carlisle.
April 20, 18 2.
HENRY J. WOLF,
OITTOILArEIf" .1.7 P IL4 Or,
oj/ice No. 2 Beam's Row.
I.,L , ,professional_business strictly at ended
111. td". The German language spoken as read
ily us the English, [Sep 4 185:4
=Ol
,70.1E1N 23ZIAL &
U 7 5 -•
• AND
GENERAL COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
HO WARD STREET,
Opposite eitre,
BA LT[ MORE
Carlisle Female Semiiiary..
larisse.s .PAINS will elardtheuee the
SI , ADLER SEBS - 10N of their Seminary
on,tito second Nlonday in April, in a tleW and
commodious school room, next door to Mr.
Leotards, No , th Hanover street.
1114 1 ruction ut the - languages an! ''rawing, no
extra charge.
Music t.i tr4 . at by an'oxperienced teacher ' at
an extra charge. (sept3tl)
Plainfield Classical Academy
Near Carlisle, Pa.
Tll5 15th Session (five months) will Com
mence Nov: 7,1 h. The ouildiugs are new
and extensive pine erected hist t• alb. Time
situation is all that can be desired ler health
fatness and moral purity Removed from time
excitements of TOwn or Village ill, Stu dent
may here prepare for College, Mercantile pur
suits, &c. All the branches are taught which
go to form a liberal 'ducat on. A conscien
tious discharge of duty has secured, under
Providence. the present flourishing condition
of the Institution. Its future prosperity shall
be maintained by the same means.
Terms—Board and Tuition (perj
session), 55000
For Catalogues with full information address
R. K. BURNS,
Principal B:4Proprietor.
Citinh, Co., Pam
VSTILITE, NALL, ACADEMIC.
" Three MUM West of Harrisburg, Pa.
THE SIXTH SESSION:wiII commence on
Monday, the seventh of November next.
Parents and 'Guardians and others interested
ars requested to inquire into the merits of this
institution. — Phweituation is retired, pleasant.
healthful and convenient ot access; the course
of instruction is extensive and thorough, and
the accommodations are ample.
130Instructore.
D. Donlinger,Principal,land teacher of Lan
guages and Mathematics.
Dr. A. Dinsmore, A. M., teacher of Ancient
Languages and Natural Science.
E. 'O. Dare, teacher of Mathematics and
; Natural SM.-mins.
'Hugh CoYle,• Teacher of Movie.
-- T. Kirk White, teacher of Plain and Orna•
mental Penmanship.
Terms.
13oirding, IVashilig, and Tuition].
in Nuglisli pay , sesilion (5 months), , $50,00
Instruction in Ancient or Modern •
Languages, each, ' 00
I witrurnental Music, 10 00
For Circulars and other information address
N GNit,
fintriabuirg, Pa.
12:19
Fresh Drugs, Medicines &c. &c
I havejust received from Philadcl•
Vphia and New York very extettsive
additions to my former stock, onbra
cing nearly every article of Medicine
now in use, togemer with Paints,
Oils, Varnishes, Turpentine, Perfumery, Soaps,
Stationery, Fine Cutlery, Fishing Tackle,—
Bruhes of ; almost every description, with , n
endeles variety of otherarticles, which I am dc
tormined.,to sell at the vcau Lowitav prices.
All Plfysicians, Country. Merchants, Pedlars
and.others, are respectfully requested not to pass
tho OLD. STAND, as they may Jest seemed
that every article will be sold of a good quality,
and upon reasonable terms.
S. ELLIOTT,
Main etreet- ,arliala.
May3o
STRAW 'WANTED.
' The subscriber will pay Cash for STRAW
arm kind delivered at niiihltosex.. Farmers
will flail it in their interest to'Sell their straw
and purchase other Manures.
E.
• turv3otfl Agent.
IVIERZNOES, OAS3anmans.
ir UST REcqiVl7.l) at Um Now and Cheap
oP Store of IVil.o & Campbell a largollot:of
' - FRENCH 111ERINOES.
• ' CASIfM• E It I , : S , •
• MODS DE LAME, '
' ' SIIA WLS, &a„lltr
. .
- now en hand fresh from Philadelphia; and sel
ling low at ',WEISE •&-CAMPREI..I...S.
Attention, . .
Limeburners
.." 4 1 - , •
; i r •
Buy your your C9AI, of
E. IIiDDI,,E.,r -
DtrONLY 82 49 nor tiof.ir
. . , , .
To RObilA LONG SIIAWLS—Juet ro.,
11l calved a row Long and StiOare Brocha
Shaw 4,and for rialo'by
.. _
21, Swath' fa Literature, Ciuttatia vintitim
THERE ARE TWO THINGS, WTI; LORD BACON, WHICH MAKE A NATION GREAT AND PROSPEROUS--A FERTILE SOIL AND BUSY WORKSHOPS;—TO WHICH LET ME ADD KNOWLEDGE AND FREEDOM.—Bishop Hall.
God'! God alone is truth—as million sparks
Spring from the blazing fire, so living things,
All living things—all life, proceeds from Him,
And unto Him returns., He, ho alone
Is glorious, fdrmless, perfect and unborn,
Pervading all—within, without. Nor life
•
Nor mind is His. His purity divine
Towers'over all existence: higher still.
Thut oven his own almighty energy,
The life, the mind, the sense,:ether, air,
Light, water, end the allco'ntaining earth,
Proceed from Him. His head the highest
heaven,
The sun and moon- his eyes. • His ears the
points
All around The zodiac. In the voids His speech,
His life .the air, His bosom nature's breath,
His feed the earth. The all-pervading He:
4 ' ; itTiviiii his perfeUtion , that cleated heat,
Whose fuel is the sun. The moon Re launched,
Rain to engender—rain to raise the corn,
Which feeds the germinating source of life,
Whose impregnation animates the world.
Ile hath created gods - and demi-gods,
Men, beast, birds, vital airs, and corn and
wheat
Troth, contemplation, veneration, nil
The claims of duty and the riglits'of
,Ile, the seven orifices of the, head,
With their perceptive powers, the objects, too,
or their perception,, and perception's self,
Ito formed, and seated in the heart that life
Which revels hi the organs given to all.
Oceans and mountains all proceed froin Him;
From him all rivers flow. From him all food
Receives its tlaver,•and its strengthening pow-
ore.
'Tis Ho who to the body binds the soul.
His perfect Deity is all in in all ! •
Object of every holy thought, nod aim
Of each divine observance. Ile, supreme!
Immortal lie ! nud 0 ! beloved one!
If lle he seated in thine inmost soul,
Soon wilt tavu break the bonds of ignorance,
And glory in bright knowledge.
- Italian Zit' 3geta aGookri/
TIIE RECLUSE OF TEE CONEWAGA,
The Little Valley of the Blue Spring
El=l
Who does not scribble a Novel now : a-days.?
Even the school-boy and the school-girl bring
out editions 'upon a small scale, in the shape
of an "Interesting Tale"' in a country now--
paper; and the College Junior too, with the
re of inspilion _within liis.breast, seizes -1.1;N
12.,
'r.iy goose fivcks to immortalize h'tf"'
name. At tilt' present day it. is no - more trou
ble to write a novel or romance, than it is for
n joiner to construct a house, when the timber
is all nearly hovin to his hand, holes morticed
in, and the pins all made. And since w e have
machine-men, machine-women, and maohine
poetry, we shall not be surpriged if the next
patent issued will be for a complicated machine
for turning out novels, "the cog-wheels and
crank so constructed as to grind out tales of
a coarse, fine or superfine quality, according
as they are desired. This would surely not
require a vofy great display of ingenuity, in
asmuch as the ground-work of all future novels
was laid years ago; a chapter from one (with
the names. of the characters changed) inserted
in another would never be detected. Imagine
to yourself a rescue from a watery grave, a
love-sick swain and sighing lady, a cruel father
interdicting their' interviews, a few stolen
meetings, an elopement and marriage, many
long sentences jingling, harmoniously together,
with a bushel find a half of meaningless words,
and you have a miniatues picture of nine
tenths of the works of fiction extant,
The novel of these present times, with •its
extravagance of style and gross exaggerations
is a disgrace to our literature, and a stigma
upon our Ago. In it untrue feelings are de
lineated as true. Morbid sentiments are dwelt
upon as 'healthy. TO false principled ar t,
inculcated where only true Ones should be on
joined. - Does the novelist mention the robber, -
the soduceg, or the murderer—ho throws
around them such k orobe of bravery and boner,
that the fiend' who 'enters tho family circle and
destroys the peace, happiness, and perhaps
lives, of its members, appears to the youthful
eye to be an- i'njured- and slighted-man.— fle
conceals crime, and flings each a delightful
fascinittion around her, in the wild scenes
which he describes, that she appears to the
inexperienced person under the tnotleift garb'
of innocence. Does he speak of the maiden--
be describes her as " a divine creature," "an
angelic seraph," or as "a lovely being entirely
too pure, for earth." She languishes in secret,
for some distant swain ; her heart is riven by
Cupid's feathered darts; the wily god, not
content with having transfixed her, thrusts
the weapon further in every time she bears
from bins. 'Whore a few, months ago all was
life and elasticity, sunken shooks and glaring
eyes meet the gaze. And after a long round
of silly, nonsensical adventures, which could
never happen, he winds up with a meeting of
the unfortunate lovers,-mutual prcfessions of
eternal constancy—enough to sicken any one
having the least particle of common sense—
and at last a--WEDDING closes the grand
finale l If he' expatiate open a landscape, as
some one says, ho writes: "the radiant vault
of heaven distils ethereal sweetness from above;
soft music floats
,along 'the balmy air; and
Sparkling rivulets, gushing from the, cool
rooks; gently murmur o'er the pebbles in their
babbling way; while theft• grassy margins, are
decked With flowers of beauteous hue, and
delicious. fragrance." The interest of the
whole affair is considerably enhanced by in
: troduoing now and then' a startling case of in
sanity,,au, interesting murder, or some other'
• mere trifle of that description.
SuclOsi"The ileeluee. of the Conewaga,
The Little Valley of Me Blue, Spring." 19e are
aware thitLwork bar been pronounced beneath
the dignity ofcriticism, and only fit 'fer-the
pornsai of thou sentimental Nissen-who tiro
'always ready toshed barrets'of tears over any
thing that contains the, woil ?o'er, and the
"torturing distress" of Otlatiyoungman with
black whiskers and a fierce, moustac4; yet
surely it is.necessary to rooolleot that,dirt and
rubbish must be romaved - from the , . streets,
though it be at the. expense of soiling otir oWn
persons, Besides, if warts and other nascent-
W IirTNSIt
puirg.
ODINIPOTENCID
BY 'DR. BOWILING
ITzlrnlrTThftl
A Legend 0 . 1'1(1(771,s County
BY W. T. 8.. A JUNIOR IN DICKINSON
- .
,CARLISLE, PA., WEDNE,SIDAN, OEBRUALICT 15, 'ISS4.
exeresconees ,uppear upon the body of Me
dn Literature, they must needs ho removed
If wo wish to preserve her beauty and purity;
and; like ourselves, the good old lady requires
oecasionally a little doctoring, in the form of
purging pills or calomel and jalap, for the
maintenance of that healthy condition which
is essential to, her well-being. And though
we'inay be unable to administer anything more
than a homoeopathic deco to "The Recluse of
tla Conewuga," yet we trust this will be suffi
cient to direct a , teittion to the parts affected.
If the lungs are diseased, we would prescribe
Schenk's I'ulmonie Syrup; if there be bfotohal
upon.the face, give Sand's Sarsaparilla; and
if the magnates he inflamed, at once procure a
bottle of the Mexican Mustang Liniment,
1, Now the first great defect in W. T. B.'s'
novel is the lack of coherency between its seve
ral parts. The Recluse, or William Forney,
meets with diflicultiee in paying his attentions
to Ida Bradley; a cruel papa forbids their in
terviews: and Forney flees to the wilds of the
New World; to bury himself and his griefs in
its secluded forests. It proves,
° however, to
bo a premature burial, inasmuch as he after
wards turns up valiantly fAiing for "God
and Liberty, Washington and the Centineutal
Congress," with the waving banner of the
cross, and so on, &0.,, &o. Unexpeotedly he
meets Ida, abducts her from her friends, and
they are finally happily united in the bonds of
wedlock. Yet after all' this, we find the Re
cluse bent down with care and the weight of
years, a miserable creature, weary of life, and
inhabiting a lonely hut near the banks of the
Conowaga. Now, for this lonely and unnatu
ral mode of life, there is 3' reason whatever
assigned; on the contrary, we would be com
pelled to infer from the, concluding chapter,
that ho aud Ida lived happy, died happy, and
are now happy in another morld. And so,
too, with the formal introduction of Ida and
4 - (orney. All the previous scenes are laid in
laerica ;. suddenly, abandoning flight, scime
tars, waving banners, and other such themes
for fantastic splurging, the story of them and
their heart-rending sorrows his commenced ;
and, while you are shedding quarts of tears,
luta all along thinking that you are still in
America, ho tells you that Forney embarks at
Liverpo.d fur the Now World I This produces
a sort of a jar or jolt iu the narrative, and in_
duces a certain speicics of confusion or per
plexity of thought, which invariably scuds a
!laugh quivering round the corners of the
" mouth. Have an oyo to this in the future,
Mr. 8., won't you? Believe me, my dear sir,
incohcreney in literary productions is their
sni grarggev: if,you!r.re nine, you will
snatch his well worn spade from his ghost-like
hand, and hit him a tap alongside of his cra
nium, that will send him toppling' over into
the very grave he has dug for the Recluse of
the Conewaga, or the Little Valley of the Blue
Spring.
The next fault wo observeduns the,;extreme
departure from nature and actual facts. Now,
the novel-writer is certainly allowed *great
deal of freedom in drawing upon his imugina
lion, but there are limits, beyond which ho
may not pass—a Rubicon he may not cross—
es well as there aro to every other literary
profession. As Borneo says of Poets, in his
Epistola ad Pisones, If a man' should connect
a horse's neck to a human head, or speak
about incongruous plumage, or put together
members 'from a dozen different animals in
such a manner that aLeauteous woman above
would terminate in a loathsome fish below,
would not, you think he ought to be laughed
at, my friends 1" We modernize the passage,
for we have forgotten the Latin, having bidden
farewell to such 11801088 toggery the hour wo
concluded our FINAL; and, ;besides, our copy
of Quintus Horati us Flacons was furnished to
th 9 Class fer sepulchral purposes, at the close
of our Sophomore year. There must, then,
be a certain likeness or resemblance to nature,
even when the endeavor is to gratify •tho
gination more than the understanding. And
where facts aro spoken of 'as actually existing
at thepresent time, there must ho a duo' obser
vance of them, if we wish to enlist the atten
tion and secure the favor of theT.C . oor. If Coo
per, or any otherthtfe..a namby-ppmby.serib
bler for papers, bad been describing a beautiful
pork in ono of our cities, he would not have
dwelt upon a gigantic Baniau ag growing there,
merely for the purpose of coloring up his pic
ture; neither of Apes Swinging themselves
from limb to limb by their caudal appendages,
nor of clignifiedmonkies solemnly dCliberating
upon novels, romances, or mysterious legends.
No, no! Mr. B. ; if 'fact and stature bad not
furnished hire with the materials he desired,
ho would not have Jlipped;his4Wurtit into the
paint-pot of his imagination: no, sir, he would
rather hays re-touclied n point here, and tint
ed another there, and blended and re-blended
them together, until he had given is more per
fect and life-like form to 'his original sketch.
litsjyois speak of flowers, and " mignionettes,"'
and "veteran oaks," growingin the Campus
of Dickinson College. and of a " "thick grtrht
of locusts"' flouring "Torth - delicidus perfurne',S'
413.,- &e. Now,-we' hove been acquainted with
Dichinsim College for a number of years, and
have passed through its Campus more . or less -
fraquantly every week' of tbitt time; but we
.must, confess a most unfortunate ignorance ea
'to where those flowers, nfignionettes and veto
ran'oultb aro growing. We have never seen'
- them yet; and we 'should just like Mr. W.
to.define their 'position and exact locatlty.,-
! With Long Walk, Centro Walk, and I ove's Al
wo.arathOrenghly_nexPinintoilOincl of eaolt
and all of them we could "a'talo unfold," and
'several interesting' stories' besides, if there
were any need of it; but if tho hurried tramp
tramp 'of the students after the foot-ball would
not crush. every thing in the shape of a. migol-..
onottowhieb would there 'dare to peep forth .
'velvety 'petols," then' wo gill .
confess, ihat');ve , know nothing at all about 09
'strUCtiire of plahts, and .furtheintoro, we *,lll
heliitia ourself to be nothing , hot an addie-poted_ ;
iglieramus,' 'we freely acknowledge
'r, B. ~a"..ltsnior in Dickinsop,"..to lic'the very
I ;prinee.Ofnottolitits. • And then, when yon,apeOk. ;
of Mabel Johnston being carried off by . Cone.
iron; shii . wiis hot very terriblyD•ighiened ;
'di* to: yens , ' ipso elixir. Mit where, is ilia
low Midden, placed Hs ;
;all the borrows of the preSent ri`nd the future
vividly impressmitipon•hoi mind, who would
not have been filled, withdalortal terror? twould
such an ono have reclined i sweet repose upon
the brawny bosom of a bat i earous . snvage, who
Wits bearing her away initti:ihe trackless depths
of an almoSt interminable Arest ? Fiddlestioks,
too, why
"Heigh diddle diddle 1 - 11;,;e.'.';:nditif.. fiddle I
The cow jumped over tliginoon
The little dog laughed ta - sdit Stich' Sport,
And the dish ran after tti spoon!"
bears just about as much 4setabikeee to real
nature. Though it may hake been eight years
since you saw the Recluse' cif 'the Conewaga,
" the down of virility has _pet fully develop
ed itself upon your chin ;,,z , ;•,, if it . has, it ha,
not brought along with it that soYer sense nod
careful judgment which 't6tobt, • stiff beard
and furious mustache generallyyle - ad us to ex
pect.
But the greatest defect of all; and to 'Which •
we especially wish to dire attention, is the
extremely reprehensible style iit which the entire
work is written.' From pre*ce.to conclusion,
there appears to be a leborid effort after the
grand, the sublime and the 'ploquent, which
gradually ends in the mock-majestic, or in
that particular fault which Rhetoricians deco
minate flattening'but." ' urns
" All nature was hushed iiMieneta ; the black
thunder clouds bad gatheroilf,thwart the hea
vens like one dark midnight pall; when suit:
denly a flash of lightning„in•one wild glare ,
that lit up the obeli vault c-E-b-eaven, and flung
a death-like pallor o'er Ini . tit'teobjects of this
mundane sphere, darted, tie-0106g down to
earth, and killed a Prodigious-Hadpole !"
Isn't that a pretty senteraA? And yet we
wrote it all ourtielvos; yes we did. There is
too much of the re - atilt-of:A oration ahout
the Recluse, &c.—a' style tia4 may.-do very
well for a spouting, frothy Ft.-hap-orator, but
which a !respectable Collag , ..,Junior should
utterly abhor. Then, there ol:rttoo many long
sentences; not faulty merely en. account of
their length, but on account- the stiff and
awkward manner in which thq are usually
constructed. Some bobble along as if travel
ing upon -lofty stilts; some/on:and jar from
the beginning to the eat; sv.Olo•-•eidiers bend
and crack and snap, as if ai'imt to burst into
a thousand pieces. Epitlo,.. after- epithet,
stretched out to the greateamossible elonga
tion, aro attached to word, without, in the
least increasing the sense o%tiie passage, and
only tending to hamper an I burden a style
already too ponderous to bwrerdured by any
one but "W. T. B.,•*a Junijia_la Dickinson."
The phraseology likewise iii.ACts too much of
the higValutin ; it is toe
by , far Tll , ,
author appears to haie`-'4'efiiZedi7itudionly
for high-flown terms as Henry Palmer searched
for Mabel Johnston, or Marryat's Japhet for
his venerable lather. Wo should not at all be
surprised to learn that he had slept upon a
dictionary every night, and devoured a dozen
pages of adjectives at every meal, while engag
ed in writing The Recluse of thb Conewaga,
or The Little Valley of the Blue Spring.
We hope W. T. B. will not take, offence qt
thes'e strictures-; they are not directed at him,
with Aom we are entirely unacquainte, but
at his production : if they will but serve to
correct, in ,his, future writings, the errors we
have noticed, then " verily we bore our re
' ward." However much he may object to the
vain of satire in which we have indulged, ho
may be assured that we are in reality much
more a friend to him than these who are eter
nally ringing in his ears, "Libi congratulort .
Libi congratulor !" You have talents, Mr. B.;
we praise your diligence, wo admire your en
orgy, and we would fain admire your little
volume; but then, dame Literature stands at
our back with a heavy cudgel, nil(' threatens
to give us a hearty thwack upon each side of
the head, and a,blow over thoknuckles in ad
dition, if we attempt such a flagrant, violation
of her immutable laws. Do not aspire to be
wlt, your juniorship already places you far
above—a silly novelist, pandering your intel
lect to foolish girls and romantic lads. Be O
man. Look forward to atighar and a nobler
destiny. Your novel-machine is a worthless
affair; if yOu borrowed it'you had better re
turn it to its owner at once; if you invented
-„.
it, take' care to break it in pieces before Bar
num'gets sight of you; and if you purchased
t of another, in order to regain your money
-sell it-to -tho.-first,yankee pedlar-who comes
along.
,Fling nyour Recluse-into the fire; you
need not destroy your poetry—it will caliper
ate of itself in a day or two. Go to work, and
you may yet become the President of the great
est nation under the sun. But if you, must,
and will be a nov'ellwriter, twawithstandiog
allour friendly admonitions to -the oontrary,
prey do not inflict any more of your proAuc-
Cons upon rho good people of Carlisle,' For,
already they feel like exclaiming,
"There's something in his soul,:-
O'er which his melancholy sits-in brood; •
And, we do doubt the hatch r atol• tho diaolose,
Will be some danger!" •
Hare mercy, too, upon posterity. JuSi - cooe
consider the tenor it will induce in the minds
of the YoOng if you bring forth any more Re
cluses for their perusal. Especially, since the
Recluse of the COnewage, or The Little , Valley
of the Blue Spring, when road through lathe
universe,
t blow vir"
—"acted as a open ;
The angels alopp , d thefreara, and plied their pinions;
• The y devita ran howling down.tc hell;
The glows fled, , gibbcrlug, to that. own dentlnlotie,;
'trot 'tie not y.st dvelded where they dwell,
And we leave every wan In lil3 °Pini');
llllchael Cook refuge In his 1111112p-60 lo !
111. teeth were act on edge—he could
. WI I 0 liNOW8?
Carlisle; fan. 1854
IntsuWlT.—!•Plasi your lordship's- horolr
nod glory," said Tim "I shot. tho Miro by amd
dent."
"By atehlent,"..comarked Captain Charles
wcie: ruing* slush, and the bastorn n
aorpoa my arm an on Lis.own accord." F.
game keeper tello;n:tligarent atery 7 !,
'replied bill lordship.. . • • • •-• .
You'pet faith'itt what that'iniin
says," said' Tire liyita,"..when ha ,voter Cafes
about,opoaking the • truth, .anyhow.• lie • told
me the other day your hardship wee not fie fit
to fill tho chair ofjustice tialjacknos." ; • ;
a.A.Y, ay," eiidairried Visoottni
I.ltuleed! and what did-yee" ay."; ; ; ; •
:. , Plase your I°lllooo I said that your lord
ship was."
376 ti nu rtt u
Front the IC nick° rhocker
UNCLE REUBEN:
DOWN-EAST tiiKET4I
We know not hoevit may ho with Mimi* but
wo do like to "scan" snob hon)(pictures
as the following of t‘. Uncle Reuben?' a "down
east" wag of the first water. No one can doubt
that the sketch describes areal character, and
that he was a "mark man" in his day and gen
eration.. , . .
"I .never knew such , a geiieral favorite as.
Uncle Reuben was. Ile was not one of your
universal uncles—uncle to everybody butmy.
own great uncle—ray grandmother's brother.
lie is note fictitious, but : at-cal character, no
many a man in the Old Col - by has reason to
believe. It was a great treat to have him oome
In and spend 'an evening, whhther he talked of
politics, or, as he used to expresp it, 'small
like a woman.' My mother neveratlipped her
spinning-wheel for any man lint him; and
when. he took off his hat, (e sure indication
ho intended to spend the evening,) henface
would gradually bi:ighten into a Drummoud
Light. While he tarried almseemed•to ache
with. delight, and for days after,
.she would
continually break out,lifugldng,, : t!,44,la4ii till
she cried.. I was a eliinkey.tticiiridweniliir
ed why she cried :
comforted to find that everybody did
Yet 'Uncle ReubeiOvailltitlis , .',iiver known to
laugh, and but Bella 44it .. imilite;.i:f:The'Wotnem
anti children alLloiaiO4:4:3ll4.e.ifttliontion
of a geed heart; andlelolied";everyliody- . !:
There.was a CorporallSltiticliSli, , that eve,
I rybody-ctsc hated„ for be was always doing
ngreenble things: slandering his neighbors,
I and Oven the parson; continually poking that
ugly pug-hese of his where it had no business
to be: and apparently for the express purpose
lof having it pulled, But Uncle Reuben, was
always kind to hini, - and Mr. Standish liked
•Unele Reuben, as well as he did anybody, un-'
til ono rainy Saturday evening, when the
neighbors were all over to Mr. Morse's 'shoe
maker's shop talking politics. Mr. Morse hail
just taken from off the fire a kettle of wax and
set it aside to cool. While it was still warm
and shining, Mr Standish came in. • Uncle
ReUben' remarked, incidentally, that, powder
for the hair shad gone out of fashion. 'The
General Assembly_ have recommended not to
use it, and at the last court none of the judges
wore wigs
Hair-oil is all.the rage, end•Govornment, in
tats' nuudeohne tiling forlien. L.;.-
fayette, hhvo given him the exclusive right to
make it.' 'U note Reuben then read from a
newspaper !quite a long article Io that effect,
and altho' I tried to find it in the same paper
all the next,day, I could not. It wound up by
saying 'that Mr. Rodolphus Morse, of M—,
was solo agent for said town.'
" Mr. Standish, spying the kettle, cried out,
'•Ah, lid! what have you got in that kettle,
Mr. Morse?"
. Onlyjnst trying the receipt," roplief,l Mr.
Morse."
"Now, Mr. Morse," said Uncle Reuben,
"Corporal Standish is an old neighbor, and al
though he is not on the Led terms with you
all, perhaps it as much your fault as his.—
What is the use of nn eternal grumble? Now ,
I propose a truce: instead of the hair-oil you
were going to giro to me, to fix my hair for
to-morrow, let Mr. Standish, have it, and shake
hands all around. What do you say ? Shall
by-genes be by-goose?"
Mr. Morse held out his hand, and all in turn
shook hands.
. 6 ' Then," said Uncle Reuben, “set right up
here . . Mr. Standish, and I'll fix it myself, just
as Gen. Bradford had his at the Republican
Convention."
"So Mr. Standish took the chair,' nd 'Un
cle Reuben' put oh a thick coat of the wax,
with a direction that he must not touch it even
With his hat, for two hours, lest-it should take
off the gloss. In about half an hour the vic
tim went home, feeling very grand; but just
before Ito went; he stepped up to a little piece
of looking glues,, tucked up with nails to a post,
and took a view of himself; the only expros
sion ho made was,-.! I vowney what a gloss!'
Although the evening was rainoy, yet ho touch
ed - not - his houd with - his kat. :
"After he was gcino t .that old shop broke
out into a fit of, hysterics; and, although they
they . certainly did laugh, yet. they all agreed,
it 'was no laughing matter.'
Standish was not seen out of his door
yard fur along, while. 'Then bad the neigh
bors rest throughout that region, and were not
a little comforted . . Some said Standish and
his wife luld a quarrel, .when ho wont home
that night, because•' she said ho was 'a fool;'
but certain it was that them was groat eir-
Vernent, for w candle was burning until al.
•
most moruing.:-
When hie hair was grown again, 'Uncle
Reuben went to see him, and congratulated
him.upon hie recovery from his fever, and be.
hayed in so. bind a manner; that the Corporal
refused to believe that Uncle Reuben knew
tliat bo,hatl .not been plolc, and that the wax
was not hair 01l ;- , for,'- said he, 'bow did he
know what it was, till Mr. Morse told him 7
tut,:hesides,if ashed him to rut it on, what
right have I -to find fiat 4 and why did I lot
him put it on, if I did.,not Want it on Y Como
pow I" , . .
' "Tlien. there was Paul --,Who shot•pig.
eons on Uncle lioubon's pigeon-Nish ;, and, ag
thongh he might.have prosee4ted.him• for It,
he never did, nor•Jlid he 'hold any Lardne;s
against him;' for Iluolo: Reuben was a kind
men, lie oven went ono rainy morning, .be
:fore Paul was up, to borrow his gun, which
:Pain refined to lenk but was very nniimiti to
knoiv whathe wanted itldr;, and Unole'Reuz•
bent onerously told him • he wonted :to shooi
iinta'a ilaste - of wild• geese 'that , lighted on the
big'rrtople,-dowri•in•theawrinas:• • Pahl Waa
in a minute; and althouglk;apparrentlf Melo
;Reuben was trying to borrow somebody else's
yet Panl'wne off before bit& cirepli
long•waY erOls'hands anittneos,'tliiimgh
, the
imud and rain, eo'n's not to frigh`ten the ikietid.'
!But in an hour he returned, without having
tieen the•first feather; 'with' hiniiantalooim wet
and dirty, — and : hishjaoket badly torn. Mr.
Standish twitted him about it and said ho was
a 'ninkue to believe that a gooie, that
.can
hardly stand on the ground, could With me
web:feet hold on to a tree I The only reply
MIS, vowney, what a gloael.!,.
" Macaulay observes that a taste for severe
practical jokes, in a man of mature years and
strong understanding, when habitually indul
ged in,,is _almost invariably the sign Abode
lioart,l But 1 feel bound to say, as a ttneld- ,
ographer, that no man, living or dead, ever
had a kinder heart than Uncle Reuben, nor
more generosity and disinterestedness. ,He
never played a practical joke unless it.wati
deserved by the unlucky wight„upon whom it
fell. Bo was never linOwn,. , 's‘be in a rage';
and when ho caught firing hiy
stack of hay, ho wine not even angry- Calvin
expected to answer his offence, before a legal
I •
tribunal; but Uncle Reuben never called upon
the lawyer for aseistance to punish those that
against him. Some months after, early
ono February morning, Calvin was seen (rm,
ing doivn the road, with a pair, of ti-bows in
ono hand, and a bunch of whip handles in the"
other, and any number of birch-brooms thing-,
ling from his shoulders. These were the work
of his winter evenings, end with them he was'
bound to miirket, Uncle Reuben was at break
fast. When Calvin had passed the house,
,Un
chi Reuben witllut his hat, rushed out and
shouted, 'which way, Mr. "8 2 ----
" To Barrington." was the reply.
Id.hought,as.nanch," said" Uncle Reuben,
"Bless your soul I didn't you know the wind
mill dam was broken up, and that therii Inia -
IJOCII no passing this way these two days 4
You•must either give up vottr journey, or go
around through Centreville." Uncle Reuben
`then went back to finish his breakfast, and
had We pleasure of seeing Calvin retrace his
steps nod take the Controville.toad.
"At eleven o'clock, Calvin had missed Cen
treville, and
_entered the high road between
M— and Barrington, when be met Paul,
itud they stopped to take something'tiigether.
"I've.liad a Lard jaunt,"-said Calvin; "and
this does me good, for I was almost jaded
out:".
"A three mile beat tucker ' ou, Calvin ?"
"No, indeed," rejoined Calvin ; ' , but I
have had to travel around by Centreville which
is a hard road to travel, I believe.",
" Why, what on oarth seat you way,, around
there ?" '
" Why, tho windmill dam has givon way,
you know, and
t 4 Ha! ha! ha! Windmill dam 1 Ha-! ha!
ha I Windmill - dam! Je:•rew-salend If
Reuben —= hasn't pulled tho wool over your
eyes, then I'm no conjuror." Just then Paul
thought the wild-goose :alias() hu had lieeu
led, and, lest ho should be turned upon, drove
on at a furious rate, shouting 'lVintimill dam
0, Jo-retv-ealem 1", till !lemma out of sight.
SPECULATIVE PHILOSOPHY
If all mankind could wink at the same me_
mont, the muscular effort exerted would be
sufficient to jostle the earth out of its orbit.
If all the onthe uttered in the United States
wore requited to be printed, it would employ
all the presses in the country, day and night,
to perform the labor; and if a tax was levied
on them of one cent each, ono year's revenue
would bet sufficient to transport all the mails,
lay a double truck railroad to the Paeific, and
pay the public debt of every State in the
Union.
The cigare consumed ihroughout the country
in oue year would make a'worm fence six feet
high around the District of Columbia; and the
air expelled in smoking them would drive the
Japan squadron round the , lvorld, with enough
over to do the windwbrk of all the patent mcd-
MEE
if all ejected tobacco quids were from the
timo to bo dropped on the dome of the capitol
at Washington, the buil of Egypt would bo no
comparison to the pelting storm, and the edi
fice would ho buried deeper than Nineveh, be
fore the next meeting of Congress. • ••
U all the lies told during the last Presidential
campaign, could be belied together,.they_Would
make soap enough to wash the face of nature.
IMPORTANCE OP TRIPLES
Ono of the earliest founders of the cotton
trade, is England, purchased. an estate in p.
neigbbOring country, from • a peer, for several
hundred tliousand pounds. The home with
its furniture was to remain preoleoly as it stood,
When the purchaser took possession lo missed
a small cabinet fronithe hall, worth some three
or four pounds. Ho applied to the late owner
about it.
. "Well," said the noble lord, "I certainly did
order it to bo removed. It is an. old
Oabinot, worth morn from its associations than .
anything else; I hardly thought. you would
have oared about so tritling a matter in so largo
a,purobase."
1 . My lord," was tho charactorietio answer,
"if I had •not all my life attended to trifles, I
should not have been able to purohaso this
estate; and excuse me for'saying so, perhaps
if your lordahip had oared more about trifles ,
you might not hove been obliged to sell it."
Cumin&Onisrm.—An incident which occur
red on board the' steamship Gen, Scott lately
'wrecked on the PacifiO coast, illustrates, in'a
very forcible manner, that peOulinr love, of
gainwhich obaraoterizeS the Yankoe under;nli
circumstances. Whan .the venOl struek, all
was confusion and dismay on board. 'One poor .
Jittle follow was endeavoring to' Inflate a life-.
preserver, but all his efforts proved fruitless.'
Terrified at the,. prospoot of going down, he
shouted put,' , ,For' God's mike will: no - ono help,
me blow this up?" A: Yaiil6O, who was
ly watching the proceedings, coolly answered,;
PI Waif You 'give ma ten dollUts.' ' The vlc-,
Om remonstrated with him for thinking of'6l-
•
;thy lucre, 1.
849,1, but the I,`nifitoo ln a
.
bueinesS
twang reepondod *o/d now jf
hare i6 t lL Ile mouth (Itlr i mhoto,ciaMunt, do
/e; and if yeacigo ty the Loltom, 0e ten aiat iron!'
Wei volt a mite of good." - Ilia argument was,
ef couroo, oonvioolni,` end ho pookoted the
opoudulias.\ „
xt&-If you IftYo groat talents, industrj , will
imrOvo t thern ; if moderato'ablaties, industry
will supply their deticienoies.!"sollting - . 18 de.
nied to well directed labor; nothing ht civiir to be
attained without it
etutr4l rtitinitafitat.
Ctuperuna starti.
In the Yenr . lB2—, in n handsomely furnished
parlor which opened out of that noted London
gin shop, celled The Punch B0'0; 1 ' eat its
mistress, the gaudily dressed Mrs Crotvder,
conversing with en obsequious neighbor.
'Why, Ivlre. Cr:iUvder, I really must? soy
you have things in the first style! Whatiele
gent papering! what noble chairs I what a
pail' of fire screens I nil so bright and fresh !
Then, the elegant 'stone copings to your
win
do}vs, and those beautiful French Nibs/ow
frames! And you "novo bee'n sending ,your
daughters to the genteelest boarding setitkot ;
your shop is the hest fitted in all this part of
London. Where can you find the needful for
these things? Dear Mrs. Crowder, how, do
you manage?" .
Mrs, Crowder simpered, and-oast a look of
smiling contempt through the half open doiti
into the shop, filled with droughty customers.
"The fool's pencetis the fool's pence that
does it for us," she said ; and her voice rose,
more shrill and louder than usual, with'the
triumph she felt.
Ter words reached the ears of one customer,
George Manly, the Carpenter, who stood near
the counter. Turning his eyes upon -those
_around him, he saw pale, sunken cheekit;'in
flamed eyes, and ragged .garments. then
turned them upon the stately apartment; ho
looked through the door into the parlor, end
saw looking s . ,lossett- and:pictures, and alclit,g,
and fine furniture, and a rielibarpet ; Ara Niss
Lucy in n silk gown, at her piano; and- ho
thought to himself, how strange it is 1 how cu
rious it is that all this wretchedness on 'my
left hand should he made to turn into all'ads
•
rich finery on my right.
"Well, sir, and what's for you?" said a
shrill voice, which made the " fool's penOe"
ring in hie ears
4 , A glass of gin, ma'am, is what I'm via-lit
lug for ; but I think I've paid the last fool's
pow that I shall put -down on this counter for
many a long day."
nlnnly linstenki home. Ilia wife and his
two little girls were seated at. work. They
were thin and pale, really in want of ford.
The room looked very cheerless, and their bra
was so small as hardly to be felt; yet the ciiill
est observer would be struck with the neatness
that reigned there,
•ItWes a joyful surprise to fhim, his return
ing home so' early that night, 'and Yeti - lin - Nig
sober, and in good humor.
"Your eyes are weak to-night, wife," s•iid
George, "or chi) yon have been crying. I'm
afraid you work too much by candle light." - ,
Ills wife smiled and said, " working dies
not affeot my eyes ," and beckoned to her little
boy who was standing spurt, in a corner,
&nay as a culprit.
"Why, John, what's this I see ?" said the
father. - "Como and tell me what you hcve
betM doing."
"The Laker arsine for his money to-night,
and would not leave the loaves withoutit7, Lut
though be wag cross sad rough, he said mo
ther was not to blame, and that he was surd
you had been drinking away all the mone'x.;
and when ho was gone, mother cried over her
work, but she did not say anything, I did
not know she was crying till I saw her tears,
dropping on her hands; end then J said bad
words, and mother put me in the corner,"
" Toll me what your bad words were, John,'
said his father, " not smearing I hope 1"
" No," said John, coloring : " I said you
were a bad man—l said bad father.".
"And they were bad words, sure!" said his
mother; " but you'are forgiven ; so now bring
me some cool from the box."
• m •
George looked at the face of his wife; and
as ho met the tender gaze of her mild,oycs
now turned to him, he felt the tears rise in b's
own. Ile rose up,_and putting money idle
her hands, he said, "There are my week's
wages: Conn., cotne„hold out both bande o lor
. you have not got all yet. Lay out for the
best, as you always • do. I hope this will boyn
beginning of better doing on my part, nuil
happier:days on yours:" •
_Getirge • told his Wife, after the children had—
gamic to bed, that wlien he saw what the pit*
' of the poor cotild do towards keeping up ti &mi . )
house,. and dressing: ont the landlord's site a git
daughters, and when he theught of his oviai
hard working, uncomplaining Susan,: and . himi
his children in want, and almost in rags, While •
be was sitting.dr,nking night after night, titit
straying his health and stretigth, he WWI :190
struck with sorrow and shame, that he, diitimr!• -
mined to come 'to himself nt last. Ile deter;
•, mined from that hour never 'again to put•the
intoxicating glass to his lips.
More than a year afterwards, on a Sunda./
• afternoon, as Mre. Crowder, of the Punch
Bowl, was ,walking with her daughter to the
tea gardens, they were overtakun by amviolont
shower of rain, and bad-Leconte at least half
drenched, when, they entered ,a comfortable
looking house, distinguished ,by- its comforts
and tidiness, where two girls did all they could
to try and wipe away time raindrops find Mud
splashes from the ladies' line dresses and
• pmens. ,
When all had been done that could bo done,
and as Miss :Lneyhad &kid, "they began to
look, tbemselves ngainir -Mrs. Crowder, iho
' was lolling, iu a hugo arm elmair; and amusing
fintself by a stareht 'aieryone and every thing
in' the toom;•siidetify 'started :forward 'on' .
•addressing herself tothe master of the beim);
whose Bible nod whose, face,. bad Jost caogl% .
' her eye, " lyny,
.my good man, wo, aro old,
ifrimiti; r know your • faceerin• certain, still'
:there 'Fthme- Change iu •you, though I otin't i
exactly any what it ie.". m , •- • . G
"I used, to be in• ragged, clothes and out gc .
-health,"
George itlnuly', smilingly ;;'!neW . ,
thank add, I' Ann ceinfortably olod; and in OS:
Millent health." • • • •• • ,
!.riut'how it,'.' said.Mrs..Ctowdor,•••tbQt'
- - .
'we never.gst a sight.of you nowt"
ttftladora,'. said ~I am
.sura,l wish you,
'have reason'to thank you; TOr .
:words or you) a. first 'on'oned • TOY. • byes 'to my"
sotn.foolish Rad-wicked ,eourso..sltay wife maids
Children woro half naked ,and. half staryotl,l
;only this timo- IsSt tr•
you:idolise, now--sweet ceifteadd - loods,'Snd,
:decorit olothes,'l'll match' thenfialth rinirottreie.
'w. fo and„ childr6l:4. Anti now , madam, 1 ,1, ditlll2 ,s
you just as yoti told a friend of yours i onetlaz
last year—Lite the fool'ijifilea; that 'havi
,done t
'all this Tor 'The fot,l'O'
' i rtithOr to sny;.ttio ponotowitood 1)3i!bonoot in
kluatiy, and spout to th,at.ye.ottit ask the ilicetlt.
log of God urioti the pence." , ,
Aire. Crowder never rcuoverod the customer
the had lost, ' •
VOLi failV Nea'2ll
THE FOOL'S PENCE
A STOICT WITh A MODAL
El
II
FM